:) :(

Yesterday I received a packet of information in the mail from the attorney I asked to look into the wrongful death case.  Right now things are in the pending stage.  However, I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out and a contract to sign.  In talking with my legal eagle friends they tell me that this means there is a case and they plan on trying to move forward.  Which was kind of my take on it. 

No one will ever be able to take away the doubt in my mind because my partner is gone, but I think had he gotten TPA that the outcome of his stroke would be drastically different.  He may have had to live in a Skilled Nursing Facility or have a full time care giver at home but that would certainly be worlds better than having him dead. 

The possibility of getting money out of this is nice, but I would much rather have him back.  I’ve got lots of questions and I am waiting to hear back from my attorney but right now I have every intent of moving forward with this.  The attorney does get a sizeable chunk of the money (if there is any settlement) and they get reimbursed fulliy for their expenses.  Not to mention all of the hosptials, physicians will come running for their share of the pie.  Plus the insurance companies that shelled out money for his care will also want to be repaid.  So in reality I am not sure what I am looking at in terms of my take away.  I’m told the last says I have to be able to retain 50% of the settlement but since everyone has their hand out I suspect that by the time the dust settles I may not have that much left. 

I would like to be comfortable from a financial perspective.  Getting enough to have a reserve plus pay off the house & bankruptcy would be very nice.  Then I could breathe a whole lot easier.  I have no idea if that will happen.

I did forget to mention that if they move forward with the case but I loose I am not out anything but my time.  The attorney won’t be able to come after me.  I can’t move forward and then suddenly change my mind because then I am responsible for everything.  So it’s sort of like a marriage.  Either your all in or your not in at all. 

Big decision but my guy says go for it.  I know the process will wear on me and I will probably want to give up after the pressure mounts but I know it won’t last forever.  Given the venue it’s a high Plaintiff's verdict court so the chances of this going to trial are slim to none, they will most likely make me a settlement offer and honestly that is kind of what I am counting on. 

On the work front, my friend is stirring up all sorts of crap and she even tried to get permission to work from home.  She keeps asking me for things like I have any pull or say so.  I just do what I am told.  I keep telling her you need to make these requests to your boss, you work for her not for me.  Then I get the well you can’t hook me up line.  No I got you the opportunity what you do with it is totally up to you.  Right now she is doing a very good job of making me look bad.  Sure would be nice to be able to quit, I am in the middle of so much drama here – I want to get away from it all.

Speaking of which I learned about our annual trip this year, they are going to someplace warm again.  Everyone is begging me to go.  I can’t get a cat sitter.  So people are telling me to bored my cats.  Yeah, I have looked into that and it’s really expensive when you have so many.  One or two not too bad.  However, I also really don’t have any desire to go on the trip.  It’s done over part of the week, you have to get here at like 2 or 3 am for a 6 am flight.  Then you get back late in the day on a Sunday.  I have shit to do over the weekend like laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.  if I really wanted to go I could pull some strings and it would happen but honestly I’d much rather stay home.

My friend says you have had a crappy year and you need a vacation.  Yeah, I need a vacation from you and these other damn people.  I need a vacation from life in general.  However, facing reality that isn’t going to happen.  I’d love to take time off and go on a trip by myself but how much fund would that be?  Going with someone you love or care about would be so much better.  I don’t want to mix business and personal – just not a good idea in my book.  I realize that if I went I would get spending money but I would rather give up the money and stay home.  At least I will have the kids and be able to stay in my home and do what I want when I want.  Right now I’ve declined but I have been given an extension and I have until Monday to tell them yeah or nay.  I’m not going but if it takes me waiting this out and telling them late in the day on Monday that I am not going then so be it.  I know it won’t look good for me because I didn’t go last year.  Maybe they will get the point I really don’t want to go.

My mom had a doctors appointment yesterday.  My brother was supposed to keep me posted but I had to ask him how things went.  Apparently the doctors think that mom has suffered a stroke because she is having problems with her words.  I am not a doctor but I am quick to blame it on her psyc medicine.  They make some pretty powerful stuff and it can do weird things to you and your brain.  So my brother doesn’t seemed that concerned.  Mom has to make an appointment and be seen by a Neurologist.  She is having accidents, which are more common with a stroke.  Maybe she did have a mild one – until you do image testing (MRI) there is no way to know for sure.  She could be at risk for another one.  If he has to witness that it will just tear him up.  I’ve been through it twice with my partner and it’s not pleasant. 

No real big plans for the weekend, just the usual.  Trying to get together with some friends for a bite to eat, just to have some human contact.  Otherwise it will just be me and the kids.  I will be getting my glasses tomorrow and also probably installing headlights.  I am not thrilled but it will pass. 

I called the mortgage company today, the account is still in review and no additional paperwork is needed today.  I was asked to call back again next week.  So who knows how long this little game will play out and what if anything they will ask for next. 

I just realized a few minutes ago that today is Friday the 13th.  No one seems to be making a big deal about it.  I think it’s mostly because people are still thinking about 09 11.  Well I need to go.  Take care, enjoy your weekend and I will talk with you peeps later.