27 April 2013

The Road Home

So the week of travel is finally over with.  As usual I worked my ass off, very early starts with very late endings.  I didn’t think I would actually finish what I was sent there for but I managed to pull it off.  What helped this come together was the excellent help that I got from the maintenance guys.  I also believe God helped me out as well.

The trip started on a bumpy note in the at I almost missed my flight.  I went into the bathroom, came out and heard my name being paged as last call for boarding.  That is also how the trip ended, but there was no bathroom.  I was in line to go through security and then finally, made it to the gate with moments to spare.  Oh my God I hated that.  I tried to be early but not so early that I would have to twiddle my thumbs.  Consequently I didn’t get good seating like I was in line for but at least I got a seat on each plane, which I was thankful for. 

My Guy retired from the Auto Industry, so when it came time for a rental I demanded the brand he retired from.  They only had an SUV, which I was perfectly fine with.  That damn thing was nice but too much computer.  Everything was touch screen.  The gauges were simulated, but the speedometer was real.  I had Sirrus Satellite Radio and when I returned the vehicle I made sure I left it on the Gay station.  I’d love to see the persons face when they turn on the radio.  The person before me left it on Radio Disney, which kind of indicated they had kids.  The vehicle it’s self had Alabama license plates, which made me stand out. 

The hotel was just okay.  Nothing too special.  When I got off the elevator I could smell the cigarette smoke but my room was non-smoking.  I’m not sure how the smell got there on a non-smoking floor.  Anyway, I had a safe in my room, which was nice.  I locked up my medicine and toothbrush each day before I left.  No worries on anything missing.  I came back with everything I packed.  The pillows were crap, little squares with no fluff to them.  The bed was ah okay.  Of course I picked the perfect place to stay, right next to the highway, not far from the airport and right next to train tracks.  How can I sleep?  I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep but I did enjoy what I was able to get. 

Yes in case your wondering, I did have orgasms in the room.  I brought porn on a thumb drive, I carried it with me everywhere I went so no chance on it being misplaced.  That isn’t something you would want to loose.  The last place I was working at I saw a hot C N A named William.  His face didn’t do much for me, but his body sure did!

Now that were done with sex, on to food.  Breakfast was included with the room and I had the same fucking thing each damn day I was there.  Pastry, Biscuit & Gravy, Sausage, Eggs and Milk.  Fuck, why can’t they provide variety?  I just don’t get it. 

Lunch when I was at the first place was picked up the first day by one of the maintenance guys and the second day a director bought my lunch.  Taco Bell and a Burger.  The third day I skipped lunch, so I could go to Red Lobster.  Supper was Olive Garden (hot looking waiter), Red Lobster and a BBQ Place.  So I didn’t go hog wild but I also didn’t starve myself.  If I skip a meal I do get a little sick, but I shouldn’t skip meals.  Sometimes it’s just easier to push through it.

The worst news of all is that I packed Short Sleeves, no jacket or coat.  Of course one of the days I was there it was supposed to snow.  While that didn’t happen it did rain and got very cold.  Thank God for heated seats, love those!

The children (cats) did just fine.  Big Boy had an issue with medicine and I told the person who was taking care of them to skip his medicine.  He left him winded and then called me to let me know what happened.  The dumb ass went home, which really pissed me off.  I didn’t know if my cat was dead or alive.  I suspected that since he was given time to calm down he was okay and thankfully I was right.  I trust this person but no one will ever do things like I do them.

I returned home to find the alarm system was turned off, lots of lights on in the house.  It was pretty much like it would be if I returned home and my guy was here.  With the exception of the alarm.  The children messed up my clean carpets but that was to be expected. I will be renting a carpet cleaner again soon, but it’s just not happening this weekend.  I am too exhausted  So all in all not a bad trip, no horror stories to share (thankfully) with the exception of almost missing both airplanes. 

The mail was full of bills, a couple checks and advertisement.  I cashed the checks, told the bill people that he is dead and broke, so good luck trying to collect.  Returned a couple pieces of mail, people that I have told before he is dead but they just don’t seem to listen. 

Being away from home thinking about him and the cats was depressing.  Coming back and seeing the cats and realizing that this isn’t a bad dream was even more depressing.  I miss him so much and want to talk to him so bad.  Just hearing his voice would be nice.  I knew I loved him when he was here and I can say that in the last couple of years I feel I didn’t fully appreciate him.  If I would have known the end was coming I would have certainly done a lot of things differently.  However, secretly I think I did know the end was coming.  Taking out a life insurance policy was the smartest move that I could have made, while I didn’t get face value I did get all of my money back, which was good.

Moving on to the estate …. I talked with the Bankruptcy attorney and they gave me this very large figure which I thought was inflated.  I am still researching that.  I spoke with the Estate Attorney on Friday.  Basically it’s a matter of finding out what the bank is going to do.  If I get to keep the house, then I should pay the extra money and get a hardship discharge to make a large portion of his creditors go away with no recourse.  As for everyone else (medical bills, etc.) once the house is mine it will be very difficult for them to come after his most prized asset, that being the house.  So in the end it will be good.  However, I am waiting on an answer from the bank.  I spoke with them on Friday and hope to have an answer on Monday or at least next week.  Then I can inform everyone and make my move.  I just hope and pray that if I have to shell out all of this money to get the discharge that they will allow me to pay it in one lump sum instead of spreading it out over years.  The man is dead and I want this rollercoaster to stop so I can get off and walk away.  It’s been a horrible ride from the start and I just hope it ends before I puke again.  Closing out someone’s life is NOT easy.  I suspect that the bulk of this process will be over with in a few months.  However, for the long term probably an entire year will have to pass BEFORE it’s all said and done. 

I put a call into a clergy man that I was told would help me by the person who watched the cats.  However, I left a message and am still waiting for a call back.  Since I outright told him that I lost my life partner, I don’t suspect that I will get a call back.  Why are people so afraid of gay people, we aren’t on a recruiting mission like most churches are.  My sexuality is just a small part of my life.  Yes, I obsess and am attracted to men.  However, I like other things too computers, TV, cats, restaurants, etc..  I hope this guy calls me back but I am NOT holding my breath.

I got my eyes looked at today.  Cost me $90 and one eye is a little worse but I can keep the same glasses at least for another year.  Thank goodness.  Got some new eye drops for itching, going to have that filled tomorrow so I can see yes another guy I like at the pharmacy. 

I got my haircut and took myself to Red Lobster.  I ordered way too much food and had to bring some of it home.  If I had someone to share it with, then there wouldn’t have been a problem.  I also stopped to pick up some food for the cats. 

Tomorrow morning I am going to breakfast, the pharmacy and grocery shopping.  I so hate shopping.  Now that it’s all on my shoulders and I am on my own it’s just a little bit more scary.  Plus I will be looking to run into someone that we saw all the time and tell her about what happened.  I think I will loose it when I talk with her.

Ending on a positive note, I got all of my new insurance cards so come Wednesday I will be covered on my own and paying for it out of my pocket.  Same coverage as I have today just new cards and a new bill to pay.  I’ve got lots of those …new bills to pay.  Now I need to win the lottery or have some financial windfall to help ease the pain I am going through. 

I am off to spend time with the kids, watch some TV and maybe even a movie.  Trying to relax before I have to get going again.  I did turn in all of his medicine today to the police, they had a drug drop off.  I forgot his insulin but I can dispose of that on my own.  Okay, the children are getting restless and telling me time to go. 

Talk with you all again soon. 

1 comment:

Jude said...

I'm glad you made both planes and are now home safe and sound, able to relax for the weekend.

It's good to hear the kids were okay too, I know that was a big worry.

You're right, it's NOT easy to close someone's life when it comes to all the legalities. I hope it's all over soon for you.

Enjoy your Sunday! (((hugs)))