Saturday was mostly a day of sleeping. I did get going late in the afternoon like 3p. I grabbed the mail. Then drove for some Mexican food. It was very good. The waitress I had was talking to the table behind me saying oh yeah I waited on you 3 years ago. How have you been? Then she said it’s weird I have this 6th sense I can see things but I never tell people what I see. That was interesting to hear and I wanted to ask her what she saw for me. I was thinking about it and thought well if it’s something bad I don’t want to know and if it’s something good let it happen as it’s supposed to, don’t ruin the surprise. So I didn’t push it. My late spouse didn’t believe in all of that, I mean he knew they were for real but said that it was the dark side and best not to entertain that. Back on point, I headed for home but stopped to pick up cat food. I was amazed at that number of cans I was buying. It was just like the old days when there was something called selection and variety. I think that Friskies is going by the way side and the replacement is more healthier, all natural type cat food. Hey if I’m right that will be a shocker but it’s what I see more and more of in the stores. That ain’t cheap. I hope that Friskies sticks around to see Gator & Marv through their lifetime. After that I’m not terribly sure that I will care. Although, I did look at the local shelters webpage. I saw an all black cat that reminded me of Bear and his name was Fatso. That was one of many things I used to call Bear. While I thought about going to visit and potentially bringing another one home, I thought it’s really not fair to Gator or Marv. They should be able to live together and once they are gone I can think about looking. I made it home and started on some laundry. Perfected my termination letter for my dentist and got it ready to mail. Then it was up to get the litter boxes under control, load the dishwasher (kind of sounds like either a sexual reference or a euphemism for getting drunk). Then it was time to call it a day and watch TV until I got tired and fell asleep.
I didn’t go to the funeral for my classmates mom. While it would have been nice to see him, it would be better if it was under different circumstances. I also really think that it’s a family affair. If we were closer then I would have gone for sure but we had little interaction.
Sunday another nice day – sunshine and in the 60s. It’s like Spring or something. Hold on to your hat because tomorrow it’s going back to the freezer and there is rain coming. Snow by Wednesday if the forecast holds true. Were just at an odd time of year when Mother Nature can’t seem to make up her mind. I was very productive today. Made it to breakfast, the grocery store. When I was putting my groceries away I saw the line in front of the haircut store starting to grow. Just as I was driving away a very cute guy walked up. Damn I should have gone back. I was going to pull the trigger and get my hair colored but I took the small crowd as a sign that it wasn’t the right time. So off to the gas station I went. I wanted to wash the car but with rain coming why. I just cleaned my back window and called it a day. Once I was home I gave my bedroom an air treatment with O3. I keep thinking I smell mold from time to time. Actually once I opened the window to air the place out and let in some day light I saw lots of dust. That is probably what I am smelling. So after I gave it some time to air out I went in to take a nap and the kids joined me. I lit a rose candle and fell asleep. When I woke up an hour later it smelled like I was in a florist or at a funeral. I continued on with the laundry. Then came back and cleaned my room by dusting and vacuuming. It was long over due and I actually have worn myself out with all of the activity. I’ve browsed social media off and on today. Looked at a couple work emails but my focus is on personal stuff. I have purposely left my phone behind as well as turned it off a few times. It’s nice to break away from the gadgets when you can.
I will be on-call tomorrow and of course like usual I am not looking forward to it. However, hopefully it will be an easy week and I won’t get my blood pressure up too much. I have my last load of laundry in the dryer and once it goes off I will be headed up. Putting all of the clothes away, making the bed. Then time for a shave and shower. After that it will be time to pick out what is for dinner. I don’t know if I want casserole or frozen pizza. Both take time to make but the casserole cooks in the microwave. Plus I have to feed the children. They enjoy having me around but when I leave their side they both start screaming. Gator will actually follow me like her mother used to. I wore her ass out today by going back and forth. That drove her nuts but it’s wasn’t done on purpose. I told her I was busy. I don’t mind a shadow, just don’t get in the way. We will of course find something to watch on TV. Monday will be here before I want it to be. At least the back window is clean until it rains. The tires have proper air pressure in them. I am getting close to oil change time. I will try to lump that in with my new dentist appointment at the end of next month.
I have an odd craving for Chicken Fried Steak & Eggs. It’s a breakfast dish that I had after Momma died and something that my brother turned me on to years ago. I could go grab that but that requires a trip out and I am in for the day. I spend enough time away from home and want to enjoy time with Marv & Gator as well as being able to relax and let my hair down, as it were.
From a mental standpoint I am doing okay. I still find it hard to believe that in 4 weeks time I lost my momma. Living it real time it felt like much longer. I remember the anguish and the worry. I think about all of the good times we had together and how we got that one special weekend day where I was able to walk her outside to bask in the sun while being held securely in my arms. I miss her very much. Things are adjusting to the new normal. I can’t say I like it but I can say that I am relieved that I no longer have the worry. Taking care of a terminally ill pet really takes someone special who can devote time and attention. I know my Momma appreciated everything that I did for her. I think that she wanted me to fix it but sadly I couldn’t. I am thankful for the extra time I got with her and the many conversations that we had. I didn’t beat around the bush. It was hard to come to terms with once I got the diagnosis and I wobbled back and forth between belief and disbelief. Now that she is gone I am still in shock but have accepted it. I have the box with her cremains on my dresser. I look at it often and it’s a sobering reminder that I am not in a terrible dream. Unless something strikes me different my plan is to keep her in my room. It’s where she felt the most comfortable over the last 4 weeks of her life and we have spent countless hours over the years in that room together. I start and end each day in that room. I talked to her for a while and still periodically say a few words here and there. I have some regrets but given the choices to make I would do it all over again. She was my cat and I was her savior – no one can ever change that. No one can take away my love for her and her love for me. Presto I just made myself cry again. Haven’t done that in a while. It hurts because the wound is still very much fresh. Someday things will heal but I will never forget her, she was truly a very special pretty woman!
Here’s to the week ahead. Have a great one, I will certainly be trying! Take care and thanks for stopping by.
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