Wedding Anniversary

Good Morning!

Sorry to start on a slightly somber note.  Today would be my Wedding Anniversary if my spouse was alive.  I set it up on this day specifically because he had problems remembering dates and it’s exactly two months after his birthday.  I know how thoughtful of me.  I wanted it to be a day that both of us could easily recall.  I believe it would be our 10th to be exact.  However, we were together long before we had a piece of paper that recorded our commitment to each other.  In total it would be 35 years of being together.  Any loss hurts but the longer that the person was a part of your life the more it hurts.  I find that to be true with animals as well. 

I can recall our wedding day.  I asked for the day off work and was working for a son-of-a-bitch that believed even though you were off, he was paying you so if something was needed you had to jump.  I was working feverishly to escape and get upstairs so that we could leave for the courthouse.  I made it just and then on the way there my Blackberry kept going off.  I remember replying to a message saying, about to enter a courthouse and phones aren’t allowed, I’ll get back to you when I am available.  I turned that sucker off and we walked into the courthouse. 

Both of us were nervous and we each had our moments of cold feet.  Seems that an impending commitment made both of us nervous and we had so many little arguments, even while we were waiting to be called to get things started. 

It was just the two of us and the judge.  We each got teary eyed and it was tough to exchange vows, especially when we got to that word death and parting.  However, we managed to each get through it, said I DO and were pronounced and kissed.  Damn we were both so happy!

What did we do after we walked out of the courthouse but drove back home.  I turned my stupid phone back on and did a little bit more work.  I know we eventually went out for a bite to eat.  We were just so damn happy and that was the second most positive moment we shared together where I know that I was able to block out the rest of the world and just think of us.  The other time was after Momma had her kittens.  Oddly enough the kittens moment ranked higher and gave me a more peaceful feeling.  Of course that was earlier in life and I had a much better job and more understanding employer then. 

It took me a long time to stop wearing my wedding ring.  I moved it to the opposite hand after he passed but still continued to wear it.  It just didn’t feel right or comfortable to remove it as if I was forgetting he existed.  Finally one day the timing was right and I removed it and placed it on a necklace that I bought on one of our trips, I wear both his and my bands along with a couple other items any time I go to work, need to feel closer to him or just want/need some good luck. 

Today really feels like just another day, I am not sad or depressed.  I very much enjoyed telling the above story.  I of course will always miss him until I cease to exist and take my last breath.  He made a profound impact on my life and it forever changed my world.  I do sometimes wonder where or what I’d be today having not met him.  I think I’d be working at some low income job struggling to get by, never knowing how fun cats are and certainly I would be less knowledgeable about life in general.  He really put me on the right course in life and I owe who I am today to him.  I know he was very proud of me before he passed.  I am positive that I have made him proud every day since we parted. 

When I think of moving on and trying to date or start a new life with someone it’s kind of scary.  However, I have a wealth of experience to fall back on and know what it takes to make a relationship work.  It’s really no secret.  If you love the other person that is the key.  The two other elements are compromise and communication.  If you lose one of the two key elements then your relationship is doomed to fail.  I am eager to find that special someone that he always told me would be waiting for me after he passed but our paths have yet to cross.  I sure do miss him and wish that I was able to land in the position I have now a lot sooner back when both of us were younger.  That would have made life even more different and I know he would be even prouder of me. 

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Now on to a more regular post.  Glad that I stayed home last night, as I suspected my stomach calmed down and nothing bad happened.  However, better to be cautious and prepared.  I found a nice action movie about a bank robbery called Ambulance.  It was quite intense and took up a good portion of the evening.  During the movie I managed to brush both cats and trim their claws.  Mora was not a happy girl.  I really need to work on her back claws because she loves to dig those in me.  I wish both of them would keep their claws from doing harm to me and/or furniture around here.  However, that is kind of something that just has to be expected they are cats.  I got one or Mora’s nails a bit shorter and she yelped but she is in such a hurry to pull her paws away from me, I try to move fast to avoid a fight and that is how mistakes are made.  She didn’t lose any blood and I think it scared her more than anything.  She still loves me and is walking perfectly fine. 

Thinking about returning to the fun today caused me to peek at work email.  I had the lowest number of emails to come back to 25.  Yeah, nothing was going on and that is pretty much the theme of the week.  Everyone is checked out so not a whole lot is getting done or so it seems.  We are all kind of just relaxing and on standby if needed.  I’ve had to deal with a couple things and have something coming up but no meetings what so ever.  It’s like I could throw on some clothes and leave the house do shopping or take a trip provided that I stayed close by and no one would know the difference or for that matter even care.  I noticed the bosses out of office isn’t on, that’s because his boss is out.  I got them both in trouble years ago by accident and a mandate came down that they both couldn’t be out of the office at the same time ever again.  They sneak around and hope not to get caught.  This week I think there is little to no risk of getting caught.  Both will be back at the start of the New Year.  That’s when we will get the speech how were all going to do better and be stronger this year, it’s going to be different than in years past, blah, blah.  It’s not going to happen, were all still the same and the work still gets done. 

I ran my glasses through the jewelry cleaner, nothing gets them quite as clean as that.  Just some water, cleaner and vibration.  A good rinse off after wards and they come out spotless and crystal clear.  I broke out a screw driver and tightened the screws slightly, I’ve been rocking this same pair of computer glasses for a little over a year and no plans to change unless my vision does. 

Found an old Bluetooth Headset that was out of juice.  I charged it up and am using it now to listen to some music.  I placed a test call earlier and things sound great.  It’s a little sticky from ear wax and I cleaned it up a little bit last night.  Even hooked it up to my computer this morning and was surprised there are no updates.  I said it was old.  I’ve got the same model at work and should bring it home to update it.  It takes some special software that I stumbled on at the start of the pandemic when I was still using this thing.  I switched to using speaker a long time ago and much prefer it.  I am sure I will go back to that but might break this out once and a while for the fun of it. 

Rudy started my day early and my bladder helped to get me out of bed.  Got them fed, worked on breakfast for me.  I feel pretty good, itching a little from some claws but otherwise doing okay. 

The weather is a mix of rain and snow, that will continue today and tomorrow.  You can’t see any snow and there is no accumulation expected.  It just makes for sucky driving conditions.  The plows are out so the news says.  Glad I am inside that is where I want to be when the weather is bad out.  I would like to see a good snow fall, it brings some comfort to me but after a couple of them I get tired of snow pretty quick.  It turns to be more of a nuisance than enjoyment.

I will be working on Chicken for lunch and I’ve got a Ham Holiday Meal from the store for supper.  Eating good here for a bit.  Then it will be back to the boxed crap.

Well I told the cats I would be up soon and that was like over an hour ago so might as well get going.  Sorry I rambled so much.  Hope it’s a great day for you.  Stay warm and be well.