3 days this week. Thursday I go see the doctor and hopefully Friday I will get to tackle the breakfast buffet that I have been longing to try for years.
The pain from losing my dear sweet big boy is lessening. I had to put the final touches on my good bye letter that I will be reading on Tuesday and that was quite emotional.
I got the call yesterday and went to pick up his cremains. Turns out he was 14 years old and not 13 like I had thought. Given his health I think that was a pretty good run. Don’t get me wrong I would certainly have been happier if there were many more years ahead. I asked the lady at the vets office how can I really be sure that this is him. That’s when she told me, you should have said something the company that they contract with would let you come watch so you would be assured you were getting him back. Yeah that would be more than a bit traumatic than watching him die. I am barley able to keep it together from that.
The whole thing plays on an endless loop in my mind several times during the course of a day. My regret is that this was rushed and over with way too soon. I don’t feel like I spent enough time with him prior to and afterwards.
Tuesday I was reading and found out that my last aunt on my grandfathers side passed away. I know she would be considered a great aunt but since we were raised by our grandparents I consider her an aunt. In any case she was 98 years old. I figure her and Barbra Bush both had a great run. If I can only live to be 98 years old, that would give me 52 more years which is a hell of a long time. Think of all of the change both of them saw during their lifetime from presidents to inflation and the great depression. Plus they saw technology boom. When I think about it I am kind of sad that I won’t be around for the year 3000, I really think that life will be something by then. I do hope that death is done with me for a while, like years and years. I don’t want to have to endure anymore anytime soon.
Marv is still crying at random and it breaks my heart. Part of me thinks he might be in pain because he is walking funny but then again he has always walked funny. He spent the majority of today in my bed, which is par for the course. I made the most of that and spent as much time as I could with him. Once I broke out the vacuum all bets were off and he was ready to bolt. Despite the fact that he was tucked securely away in my room with the door closed and the noisy sucking machine wouldn’t come anywhere in his proximity. Once I opened the door he had to run to the basement.
I am still dealing with depression not only from the recent loss of my dear sweet boy but also from losing my spouse 5 short years ago. There are good times and there are bad times. Usually if I am busy or occupied my mind has no time to wonder so I embrace working and keeping busy but there honestly isn’t enough tasks in the average work day to keep me that busy. I know that is going to change soon and then I will be wishing for a break, so I enjoy my down time now as much as I can even though it’s uncomfortable.
The ants are still around but I did spray my bathroom heavily and I also did some spot treatment in the dining area and kitchen where the kids food is. Hopefully that will hold them at bay for a while. Winter is the best from a pest season because there is nothing and I mean nothing in the house. You don’t have to worry about fly's, bees, wasps, gnats, etc. Once the season changes look out they are coming.
Today was the first time in 2 weeks that I went back to my normal routine. I like normal and routine they fit so well together for me. So I am ready as I will ever be to tackle the next 3 days. Then I’ve got an extended weekend to look forward to which will be nice. Hopefully I can accomplish quite a bit and enjoy myself.
I hope all is well in your neck of the woods and that life is being very fair to you. I look forward to talking with you again soon. Thanks for stopping by.
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