Circling The Drain–Again ?

Last Sunday I wrote about Big Boy and his tumors.  Well my trying to pop whatever it is that is on his back that looks like a pimple didn’t prove successful.  It just aggravated things.  I started him on Antibiotics and stopped trying to pop the damn thing.  Logic tells me that if I can get the junk out that the infection will resolve and he will be as good as new.  Shame it’s not that simple. 

His bowel habits changed and I had to break out the enema to get him to go.  He’s peeing okay, the volume doesn’t seem as large as he normally goes but he’s going. 

One of his back legs looks swollen and when I touch his paw pads they feel slightly cool, which I think is odd.  Touch that leg I’m talking just basic palpating and he is in pain.  There are knots or tumors there as well.  He is still walking but being the large boy that he is, his movement isn’t much as he’s quite lazy. 

No matter where he is by the time I am ready for bed, he is in my room.  He takes spells on sleeping with me but he is spending the bulk of his day in my room, which isn’t a good thing.  Normally he is on the couch. 

His breathing is different after he walks, like he is more winded than normal.  Not sure if there is fluid or tumors at play here or if it’s just stress/pain. 

The internet is a great invention but when it comes to looking at medical issues be it for yourself or an animal the more you look the more you think this or that is at play and before you know it you have yourself worried sick. 

So long as I treat him as I normally do were fine and he doesn’t say much.  He still is demanding for attention.  He also has been a little picky on eating so I will break out better food for him. 

I called the vet and made an appointment.  As much as I would love a Saturday appointment the docs that I use weren’t working so were stuck with Sunday.  Then they don’t have anything in the morning, it’s all afternoon appointments. 

So we are both going tomorrow but I think I will be the only one coming home.  I think he has some acute infection and possibly is in septic shock.  I am preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.  Both from an outcome perspective and a financial perspective. 

Poor guy he is nothing but a sweet cat and hasn’t ever done anything to anyone.  I’m not sure why life has dealt him such a raw deal.  He gets into these situations and I think there is no way he is going to make it but some how against the odds he pulls through.  This time I think he may have well used up his 9 lives. 

I took a nap with him on my bed.  His brother joined us.  Then when we were done they laid down together on the floor.  I am worried about his brother because these boys are pretty close and if one is missing the other will notice.  I don’t know how this is all going to play out but I think I will be doing some crying.  Be it for financial reasons or because I will wind up losing him. 

You might think this sounds silly and that I am crazy but I am so in sync with this cat, he makes a move and I know what he wants.  There is no doubt that he understands me as well.  I have told him that if he is tired and wants to give up to let me know but I won’t give up on him.  I will do everything possible for him but what I failed to mention is that I have limits and those limits may preclude me from rescuing him.  I don’t want to make a choice if he is going to pass I would just as soon that he does it on his own.  However, if things are as bad as I believe they are the decision will be a little easier.

This cat captured the heart of my late husband and they had a special bond.  I know that no matter what I do it won’t bring my late husband back.  However, I am long past throwing up my hands and walking away.  I’m told that I have gone way beyond what most owners do and that I am a special person.  Now translate that into English and it goes something like your fucking crazy for wasting your money on cats.  That could be but they are all the family I have left so I want to make sure that I do right by them and that if something happens I can take comfort in knowing that all avenues were explored and exhausted. 

Here’s hoping the odds are in our favor and that things aren’t as bad as I think they are.