Stop the drama

First and foremost I am still among the living.  Just been working my tail off and no time for blogging. 

Wednesday I went back to the same place and finished up the job.  It shouldn’t have taken me all day but I worked slow and methodical.  I tested and double tested to make sure there were no problems. 

Thursday is when all of the trouble started.  So I am waiting on the maintenance guy to show up.  I did a lot of pre-work on my part to have things ready to go.  He shows up and I explained what needed to be done.  He went about doing things on his own.  Once he found out he did it wrong, he took it out on me.  We got things going.  Then he became visibly upset I figured it was at me and not the situation.  He started asking me if other maintenance people did what he was doing.  I told him yes.  Then he started name dropping and trying to figure out who I was working for.  I told him and he said the name of our office manager.  Turns out he is her brother.  Well, I just knew that would probably get me in trouble.  I figured he was going to make waves.  So I beat him to the punch and called his boss.  I told her it was a CYA conversation and that I was not trying to get him in to trouble.  I just figured he might try to start something and I wanted her to know my side of the story.  The afternoon went on – I worked by myself and figured out once it was too late that we didn’t have WIFI because we didn’t have an internet connection.  The computers I wired to had cat 5 cables but they didn’t have any internet.  They were apart of another system and that system didn’t touch our network.

Well fudge.  Not exactly what I was thinking.  So I tried to trace them out but that was to no avail.  I called it a day and asked if the maintenance guy could come back.  I was told sure no problem. 

I went home and then I get a phone call from his boss telling me that he can’t come and there is no replacement.  Rather than just give up I said I would try to be creative and see if I could figure something out.  I was then asked to put what I told her earlier in my CYA conversation in writing because there was a problem.  I didn’t think anything of it. 

Apparently someone else took issue with it and reported it to our compliance officer.  That starts an automatic investigation.  That is why he couldn’t come back.  It took me a bit to put it together but that is the only thing that makes sense to me.

So Friday I went back and undid all of the work that we both did and started from scratch.  I got the job done and am quite proud of myself for what I accomplished.  I double tested to make certain all was working.  I also reformatted a computer and got it ready to go from scratch.  When I was done I was hot, exhausted and really didn’t want to do anything but go home and kick off my shoes.  Make it a lazy night. 

I conned myself into stopping for pizza.  I was supposed to go on for cat food but never made it.  I just went home.  I got a call from our company attorney who was asking me about policies and procedures and if I would help her this weekend.  Apparently my “friend” didn’t do her job.  Sounds like she is on the way out, it’s probably a matter of days – if she is still there by Friday I will call it a miracle. 

As for me I helped out.  I’ve been bothered a lot this weekend.  I have the sense my boss is still wanting to get rid of me.  He sent me e-mails yesterday evening late and was kind of hateful.  I could tell by his tone something is up. 

Not sure if it’s the office managers brother issue or what.  I do my job, it’s not my fault someone else lost their temper.  It’s not my fault a complaint was called in.  I just want to be left alone – let me do my work in peace and I think we will all be happier. 

We are having all of the folks from the field in this week so I can’t leave until Thursday to go do the final install.  Honestly I was in a panic last night and today.  However, legally to fire someone you need a reason or cause.  I haven’t given him one.  In fact I just got a good review.  Besides that I know he is scared to death that I am going to sue him.  Why would you want to stir up a hornets nest to get stung in the end.  I mean it would be a huge inconvenience for me but I just have to trust God that it’s al going to be alright.  Easy to do now because I am at home.  Harder to do tomorrow because I will be back there in the trenches again. 

I have plenty to do and plenty of people missed me so there are lots of problems to catch up on.  Plus it will be a Monday so new problems will no doubt come in and I will be busier than ever. 

I can tell you the environment I work in is toxic and not mentally healthy.  I need an income and a new job.  So I can dump them before they decide to dump me.  I mean they won’t know what they are losing until I am gone.  But it will be very obvious because there will be huge holes.  Not bragging just stating a fact.  You know sometimes you don’t know what you have until you lose it. 

Big Boy is getting worse with his breathing.  I really sense the end is around the corner.  I need to take him back for a checkup but I am honestly scared to because I may not come out with him alive.  I know that will happen eventually but I see no need to rush the process.  When I am around he does the nervous purr and acts like everything is hunky dory but I know it’s not.  I just don’t feel like I have the right to play God.

Oh see what I mean drama everywhere.  This year has sucked for me.  People want to mess with me, the devil keeps on picking and I am tired.  I just want to be free – I know issues will happen because that is life.  However, I have had an overwhelming taste of bad this year.  I need some good for a long, long time. 

I hope all is well in your world and that you had a great week.  Here’s hoping that this week will be better for me.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Update

So I am dog tired, spent all day working on a WIFI install.  Back tomorrow to finish up, should be an easy day!  Thursday another install and hopefully we finish in a day.  Friday I think I am going back to the office for rest.  Office on Monday and then Tuesday back into the field doing another WIFI install.  Might have to spend the night or make a 2nd trip depending upon how things go.  It’s that place that is 90 miles from home.  Sort of like driving for pie but 2 days in a row – that is a little much, even for me.  Ah, well we shall see.

So on the job front the owners look at Saturday that I made a mistake, never mind that the crazy bastard clicked on Shutdown that was still my fault.  They think that I spend too much time talking with co-workers and that gives them the perception that I have too much time on my hands and I am not doing my job.  Well, they don’t take into consideration that you have to collaborate with others in order to do your job.  No man is an island!  Anyway, the long and short of it is I’ve been told my job is safe.  Considering how I got the information I trust it because it came from one of the owners through a 3rd party.  I will do my best to appease them and stay in my office unless I have to go the bathroom or someone has a computer issue or question.  I’ve got plenty to keep me busy, trust me. 

I am still keeping my eyes wide open for a new opportunity.  If I find it well then I will jump.  Until that time I am staying put.  It’s kind of up to God if it’s time for me to move yet.  No matter my efforts if it’s not HIS will then it will NOT happen, no matter what I do.  I firmly believe that.  The final thing I learned is that they are very disappointed that I am not going on the “trip” they do every year.  They want me to socialize more but outside of the office.  Well it’s not like anyone is chatting me up and I fucking hate those people so why would I talk with them?  They are co-workers and I shouldn’t be required to socialize with them.  No other job mandated that.  Furthermore, the owners are deathly afraid that I will bring legal action against them.  I’m told I don’t have cause to bring a case.  Plus I wouldn’t dream of suing my present employer while I was still employed, I would wait until we separated then file a suit, provided I had a case. 

On the personal side my Real Estate Attorney has a conflict of interest with the mortgage company.  So he referred me to several outside attorneys.  I also got a referral from a legislator to an attorney that deals with us gays.  It’s an off the record referral.  I called that attorney on Friday and was promised a call back on Monday, but that never happened.  I am calling the Legal plan tomorrow asking if they can help me or if they can refer me to an outside attorney.  See this way it shouldn’t cost me anything and if I do have to pay then it will be a reduced rate.  I need an attorney to challenge these bastards and get them to see the light and work with me.  I am doing my very best but it’s only a matter of time before my best won’t be possible.  The sooner they realize that the better. 

The funny thing about all of this is the Real Estate Attorney wants me to keep him in the loop and get a separate case opened so that he can bill the legal plan.  Yeah, not going to happen.  If I can’t use you due to a conflict then I can’t use you.  There is no point in you making money from the plan if you can’t help me.  I still have a case open for the Estate and plan to keep it open until that is settled.  However, that could be a while since I have to deal with the damn mortgage company.

Life is so complicated when it could be so simple.  I wish, hope and pray that this all works out by the end of this year.  I don’t know that I can enter a new year with the same left over burdens of this year.  It’s bad enough that his birthday will be late next month.  It’s on a Sunday so at least I will be home and off work.

Right now I am going to review some porn, pass out medicine to the kids, prepare for tomorrow and ice my feet they effing hurt like crazy.  Standing for the better part of the day doesn’t help, when they are used to sitting at a desk for most of the day.  You know except when I am having a fireside chat with a co-worker.  :)

Thank you God for working this out.  I pray that my income is safe and not interrupted in any way shape or form.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Sounds like OK

I am sorry but I am very pressed for time right now.  The long and short of today is that it sounds like things are going to be okay.  I heard from my friend and our co attorney that my job is fine for now. 

Given that I can breathe easier but I am still on guard.  I am also still looking because next time I might not be so lucky.  It’s very apparent to me that it’s time to leave.  Better to do it on my terms than theirs. 

They are for some reason extremely afraid that I am going to sue them.  Now why would I file a lawsuit against my employer.  I know they can’t retaliate because that is illegal but trust me when I say they would find a way to ensure that I no longer worked for them.  That is just non sense.  Now if you fire me for no good reason then you can bet your ass I am coming after you.

Well I need to jet.  Talk with you folks later.

Goodbye Birch box

I really enjoy getting the Birch Box in the mail each month.  I was laying awake thinking about things I could cut or change.  Birch box was the first thing that came to mind.  That will save me $20 per month.  Not a huge fortune but every $$ counts.  I was going to cancel it anyway but that wouldn’t have been for two more months.  I wanted to see what October & Novembers boxes would bring.  I guess now I will never know. 

Today has been stressful for me, just thinking about tomorrow and knowing what potentially might happen.  I have been busy surfing the web and applying for jobs.  I found a good gob (meaning several) of them today.  I didn’t let the fact that most of them require extra education or certification stop me, I just applied anyway.  They say it’s easier to get a job when you have a job.  Well maybe that will ring true. 

I have also made some calls and done some praying.  My so called friend is on her way out, not sure that she knows it yet.  I did call her to tell her she was kind of shocked.  Of course me telling her flipped the bitch switch and she gave me all kinds of advice.  She said make them pay you money.  Yeah, well I won’t do exactly what she told me but I if I am put in that position I will consult with an attorney and move forward from there.  First step would be to file for unemployment, that is the most critical because I don’t know anyone who can survive without money.  It will be extra tight around here and I won’t be able to last that long, but maybe just maybe something will come along before things get out of hand and I can just start a new job.

My friends all thing that it’s a phase he is going through and that he won’t do anything because he knows I really am a good worker.  However, I don’t see it that way.  After all I know him better than they do.  I should be out in the field for the rest of the week – Thursday & Friday are holidays for him so no work.  That is good news.  Then we shall see what the following week brings. 

My goal as always is to lay low and not attract attention.  I just stay in my office and do my job.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Mondays are always kind of hectic.  Forgotten passwords, access issues, new problems.  So I should be busy.  I’d rather be busy than bored. 

Kind of hard to stay positive when so many negative things keep happening.  Need to grab the kids laundry and head upstairs to make sure that I have everything ready to go for tomorrow.  Taking extra sleeping medicine tonight because I napped a little today.  Hope that I get a good nights sleep so I am ready to deal with whatever comes my way tomorrow.

Please pray for me.  I will keep you posted.  Hope you all had a good weekend!

Looming Unemployment

So last night I heard from my boss, not a good sign on a weekend much less anytime.  He had some issues with getting on the banks website.  He received a java error.  It could be the bank was having problems.  It could be that he needed to reboot or reinstall java.  So I told him all of that.  He thought he rebooted but he actually shutdown his machine.  That of course is totally my fault because he made a mistake.  So he tells me that he will be unable to work now until Monday.  I offered to drive to the office and power his machine back on for him but he declined.  He said we will talk Monday. 

Something just didn’t sit right with me.  So I did some probing.  Turns out the office manager is telling him that I am not doing my job and lazy, all I ever do is sit in meetings behind closed doors.  Uh, yeah that is part of my job.  Hello.  Well she told him it’s time for me to go.  From the looks of things he has every intention of letting me go.

That would be both a blessing and a curse.  The blessing part would be that I didn’t have to listen to his shit anymore.  The curse part is that it would kill my income and I would have further problems.  Plus applying for a home loan, they require two years of steady employment.  I’d have to bounce back quick and with the way the job market is now, I don’t think that will happen. 

I really don’t need to add another worry to my list.  I have plenty going on and wrong in my life.  I want to be able to relax and breathe without worry.  I want to recover from all of this.  Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep last night. 

This event only further solidifies the fact that I need to get the hell out of there and the sooner the better.  I would of course rather do it on my own terms.  I just got a good review, a small pay raise and have no formal write ups or discipline in my file.  I don’t exactly know what grounds he would use, should he decide to terminate me.  However, I work in one of the states that is a Right to Work state.  That means simply either party with or without notice can terminate the employment relationship at any time and for any reason. 

We fight all of our unemployment claims so he would of course make it difficult for me to get unemployment but I think I have enough evidence to support my side of the story to win that.  It wouldn’t be much money but it would be something.  Then I would also have to seek counsel from a Labor Employment Attorney.  I have a couple things working in my favor.  I came out, so I can always say I was fired due to my sexuality, which is illegal.  I am over age 40 so I can claim that based on my age he let me go.  Now you can claim anything you want, but you have to have evidence to support it.  That is the tricky part. 

The devil sure wants to try and ruin my life.  He wants me to commit suicide but I keep hanging on so it’s like inch by inch.  Big Boy I can tell is getting worse slowly so soon I will have to deal with that.  It’s like every time I turn around it’s something.  It’s almost safer to stay in bed and not leave the house. 

Argh!  Off to looking for a job I go.  Talk with you again soon.

More bad news

So I called the mortgage company and they don’t need any more documentation.  They made a final decision and they are NOT going to work with me.  For the simple fact that my name is not on the mortgage.  The mortgage is in the name of my partner, but the house is deeded in the name of the Trust.  The old lender failed to update their records and now it’s causing me a problem.  The present mortgage company won’t make any modification to the name because the account is in Bankruptcy. 

No one is telling me right now that I have to move but sooner or later it sounds like that will be a reality.  I’m told that since they know my partner is dead eventually they might foreclose on the property. 

They told me that my only option would be to refinance, well I don’t qualify for that because I filed Bankruptcy and not enough time has passed since I got my discharge. 

I have made tons of calls today, no real work got done I came to the office to do personal business.  Even went out to lunch.  Like what do I have to lose!

My phone calls have all pretty well yielded me the same result.  Call us back come August.  That will be the 2 year mark for my Bankruptcy and then I can see what kind of loan I qualify for.  I have also been told that my Estate Attorney can write a letter to try to compel the present mortgage company to work with me.  I have asked but expect to get a no.

I talked with a Legislative Official and was given the name of an attorney in the area to talk to.  I’ve got a call into his office and he may call me back tonight, he may not get back to me until Monday.  I may have to part with some money in order to make this happen.  If it’s not a lot and I can get results then I am all for it.  Otherwise, no matter how you look at it I am fucked and not in a good way.

Speaking of fucked, I found the movie I talked about the other day.  I got it for free and am watching it tonight.  I hope it’s as good as I think it will be.  I need to get happy.   

 

To sum it up – I lost my partner, There is no Medical Malpractice/Wrongful Death Case, The Mortgage Company won’t work with me.  I went from a 2 income household to a 1 income household.  I am running out of money and well it’s just a matter of time before someone tries to take the house away.  I am NOT giving up without a fight.  I took on one of the most powerful unions in America.  I can take on a damn mortgage company.

It’s just one loss, after another, after another, and so on gets very old.  People tell me that I need to cheer up and get my depression medication changed.  Change my circumstances and you will see that my fucking mood will change.  Based on my personal life and everything I have been through this year it’s a wonder that I am functioning at all.  The suicide thought came back into my mind today, but I don’t feel I am out of options which is why I am NOT giving up.

I am determined to leave early so I am going to wrap this up and get out the door.  On to get food, go home and eat in.  I was eating out tonight but changed my mind given what the day has yielded.  Things just have to get better!

Real quick my friend from work decided to leave without telling anyone and sending a text message to her boss.  She went to an urgent care center, they sent her to the hospital.  She is seriously ill, so it wasn’t drama after all.  You just never know with her. 

FML – Later peeps.

Verdict

I met with the attorney and after hearing the opinion of a Neurologist it has been concluded that everything was done right and within protocol.  Therefore, I have no case.  However, I can always seek the opinion of another Neurologist but that would be at my expense.  I can also talk with another attorney and have them look at the case. 

The guy I met with told me that he isn’t the best and he knows he isn’t the only lawyer in the area but he considers himself very good.  He has turned away cases such as mine and people have gone to other firms and had claims and recovered money. 

I asked the question I always ask when I am faced with making a decision from an expert on how to proceed.  I said if you were me what would you do.  He said that he would drop the case and take comfort in knowing that my partner was cared for properly and that God called him home.  Simply put it was his time and nothing anyone did or didn’t do would have changed that. 

Honestly I was taken back, based on the way he was posturing with sending me a contract I thought for sure there was a case and honestly he did too.  However, the expert painted the picture and that is what he goes by.  He told me that if I get the records from the other hospital that he would be happy to look at them to see if there was anything there, but he would be surprised if he found anything.  He said you can cancel the order if you wish and save your money. 

Wow it feels like he died all over again.  I am comforted in knowing that they acted within protocol but I still think that things would have been different with TPA.  That is my opinion and no one can or will ever change that. In one way I am glad and relieved so that I know this “battle” is pretty much over.  However, on the other hand I was counting on some money – good thing I didn’t spend what I don’t have.

So life goes on.  Tomorrow is another day and I will just keep putting one foot in front of the other and go from there. 

Okay I promised the kids I would get upstairs as quickly as possible, so that is what I am going to do.  Get ready for bed and have a nice relaxing evening watching lord knows what on TV.  I lost my urge for porn so relaxing sounds really good right about now.  Very happy tomorrow is Friday because I need some recovery time.

Talk with you peeps later. 

Talkative Thursday

So I got to work today and no friend.  Turns out she called in sick today.  I think that she is trying to force their hand to fire her.  It’s working.  Plus she said some stuff that she shouldn’t have said to the new HR person.  Two more nails in her coffin.  I’m thinking that she won’t show up tomorrow either.  The wheels are in motion and I think within 2 weeks she will be gone.  Just don’t take me with you, that’s all I ask. 

I have had a couple meetings today and they went way over.  My brain is like scrambled eggs right now.  So rather than continue to work and potentially make mistakes I am clearing my head and blogging. 

My bosses new color laser printer arrived today.  I installed it and man it does an outstanding job.  Nothing as good as my late partners but it wasn’t bad.  It’s so compact but slightly heavy and it is an all in one, so it does more than just print.  I want one for home, but will keep what I have.  Having one at work would be nice too but I’ve got access to a color copier that does a good job and it’s rare that I print in color anyway when I am at work. 

So my meeting with the attorney is tonight in about a half hour.  Anxious, nervous and wanting to get it over with.  I don’t want to rush through it.  I am just afraid of bad news. 

My morning was tied up so I couldn’t call the mortgage company like I wanted.  I did try this afternoon but being on-hold just drove me to say I will call tomorrow morning. 

I did get IOS 7 installed.  I had to disconnect my phone from the computer, the phone wigged out and said hey I need iTunes.  I plugged it back in, then it restored the backup of the phone and upgraded the device.  I got scared for a minute because everything on the phone turned to Chinese.  I’d be lost with a phone in a foreign language.  Anyway, everything changed to English and I am using it.  I like the graphics but it takes some getting used to.  Kind of wish I would have waited a little bit but I am an early adopter and have to have the latest.  So getting used to new features and changing up my tones.  I also changed Siri to a male voice.  Siri was having issues last night so I will try to mess with it tonight.  Plus I have to fix the icons, the arrangements I liked so much got messed up with the upgrade.  It’s an easy fix but a hassle.  Haven’t talked on the phone since I upgraded it so hopefully call quality won’t be impacted.  They did away with the tower signal bar graph.  Now you have dots for what would have been more or less bars.  I don’t like that, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.  My lock screen photo is expanded.  I can’t get it back to normal size.  So little things that I just have to get used ot.

Well I need to get ready to go.  Talk with you peeps later.

Ready … ios7

So I started to download ios7 at work but it was going to take forever.  So I figured when I got home I would do it.  Here I am an hour and 22 minutes later.  The download happened.  Now I am waiting for my phone to update.  I am starting to wonder if it’s going to finish tonight or if I will have to come back in the morning.  Problem is I live by my iPhone – it’s my world.  I couldn’t honestly imagine life without it but I did manage to live without it long enough.  I am just jumping with joy to see all that awaits me.  No need to upgrade devices, just upgrade the software.  Besides that I am still under contract.  I could probably upgrade if I wanted but why, what is the point?  Then I have to purchase all new cables and go to that stupid Lighting Connector which I despise.  I am happy with old big & bulky, it works for me.

While this won’t thrill most of you there is a new porn movie out today with Steven Daigle in it.  He does bareback and it’s with several guys.  I watched the trailer a couple times and it’s nice.  However, parting with $49 doesn’t seem like something I want to do in order to watch porn.  Eventually it will be available for free, something you just have to wait for.  Porn is a part of my life but I try to spend as little money as possible on it.  It’s a drug for me.  Meaning simply that once I start, I want more and more – before you know it I will have spent the mortgage payment on it.  So I chose to stay away because I like to have a place to live.

My so called friend showed up over an hour late today.  Didn’t bother to make up her time, left early.  It’s like she is goading them into firing her.  Her boss is probably going to do that.  However, she is doing some digging first and also letting my friend bury herself alive.  See the dummy thinks that if she is fired she will get unemployment.  However, we fight every unemployment claim, regardless.  Most of the time the State looks the other way.  However, we have had a couple cases where there was just cause and the State sided with the company.  In my friends case, she will be mistaken when she learns that they will fight the claim and most likely win.  Meaning she won’t get a damn dime – now try to make the house payment.  You screwed yourself so you deserve what you get.  Honestly I don’t want it to come to that.  I want her to either get her head in the game and play by the rules or quit. 

She confronted me today about not taking her to lunch, I told her I have to get permission to leave for lunch.  Then she says I saw you with my boss walking around.  I said she gets a bite to eat across the street, I come along for the fresh air – were gone 15 minutes tops.  That doesn’t constitute lunch, it’s a break.  It’s not like we do it every damn day, it’s maybe once or twice a week.  Typically when the dick I have for a boss isn’t in the office. 

Why do I have the feeling this whole damn thing is going to blow up in my face and wind up costing me a friendship and my job?  Am I overly paranoid.  Yeah, probably but you don’t know her like I do.  She is writing down lots of information keeping track and if she is fired she will stir up a hornets nest with the labor board, EEOC, you name it.  She has contacts and lives for the drama.  While there are days when I would love to nail my boss to the cross and watch him beg for mercy, I realize they provide my paycheck so if they fall I fall too. 

It’s like I gave them a Chucky doll and he is wreaking havoc.  I didn’t know Chucky was an evil bastard, I just through he was a cute doll.  FML!

Talked with our new HR person today, just chatting her up and being friendly.  We sit in very close proximity to each other.  Might as well make a friend, it never hurts.  I’m happy to help anybody with damn near anything at anytime – even if it means my work suffers a little.  Unlike my so called friend I get my rocks off from helping people and of course looking at the cute guys.  Hubba Hubba! 

Tonight’s mail brought me a hospital bill for my late partner.  They really want $193.  I’ve told them 2 x that he died in their hospital.  I even sent them two separate copies of the death certificate.  Still they insist on billing a dead man.  So I got out the old rubber stamp “ Deceased Return to Sender”  good luck with that folks!  Now this is the same hospital that I filed a request for his medical records from.  Chances are they will hit me with the fee for the records but first before they release the records they will make me pay his hospital bill.  Yeah, okay if you twist my nipples enough I will say uncle and pay you.  Otherwise, your going to have to figure out another way to get blood out of a turnip.  It isn’t there I tell you.

Tomorrow I am going to try to call the mortgage company and see if there is any change.  Hopefully, no news is good news.  I just want this to come to an end.  Tomorrow evening I meet with the attorney, so I will be late getting home and will probably have way more information.  I just hope the children hear me when I say I will be late.  I’ve been telling them all week.  I will mention it again in the morning. 

Speaking of morning I think that is about when this update will finish.  The thing looks to be stuck in the same spot.  It’s updating firmware and well if you know anything about computers, you don’t want to interrupt a firmware update, it could brick your device.  Meaning that it will just be a brick.  However, if it is stuck what am I to do?  Hello Genius Bar!  One of the guys I have a major crush on updated his device and he really likes it.  I saw the previews and I think I will like it.  However, I didn’t think it would take all damn night to update. 

It’s about time to wrap things up here and prep for tomrorow.  Get my fill up of Tosh.O and call it a night.  After of course passing out medicine to the children. 

So all things considered, I am under some stress but alive and managing to smile on occasion.  Here is hoping all is well in your world.  Please continue to pray for me, I sure can use it.  I will talk with you peeps later.

The Blame Game

Sorry if this looks odd, I'm posting it from the Blogger interface on the web, due to time constraints. 

There is trouble in River City friends.  My so called friend wrote me an e-mail basically telling me that she wanted me to get her boss to fire her because she is unhappy.  She was all over the place in her e-mail and touched on various subjects, basically trying to pick a fight with me.  I wanted to give in to that but took the higher road and basically said if your unhappy, then you need to quit.  Besides that it would look better for you.

This morning I woke up to an e-mail and she is still trying to pick a fight saying that no one is recognizing the fact she is sick.  Hello people get sick some are stupid and come to work and others that are smart stay home.  Point being we all don't feel well 100% of the time.  She thinks she has the flu but I think it's all psychosomatic.  Then she tells me that she is hurt because I never asked her to lunch or to get a breath of fresh air, etc.  Hello dumb ass, I got you the job you should be asking me to go to lunch.  While she didn't say it, she is mad because her every whim has not been given into, she isn't being pampered like she wants and getting all of the toys and accommodations that she feels entitled to. 

When I read her latest e-mail I was livid - the kids didn't know what to think I turned into a raving lunatic.  It truly was a bad start to my day and no doubt will have an impact on how my day goes.  I thought about it and mulled it over.  I re-read the e-mail a couple times.  As much as I want to respond and tell her what an ungrateful bitch she is and how she used me and is continually making me look bad, I have decided that there really isn't anything in the e-mail that demands a response.  Therefore, I am letting her stew in her own juice and ignoring her.  As far as I am concerned our friendship is done and she is the one who cooked it.  I just can't wait until she gets the hell out of here regardless of how it happens.

This morning she was over an hour late to work.  We thought she was going to be a no -call no show, to force their hand in firing her.  However, she showed up.  I just don't get it.

Part of me thinks that she has a brain tumor or there is something seriously wrong because this isn't the friend that I know.  I really want to approach her husband to see if there are any mental changes he notices but I think that might be taking it a step too far and I don't want to cause more problems.  So the best damn thing I think I can do as hard as it is for me, is to keep my damn mouth shut and wait it out. 

You would think that she would be more considerate of me in that I have experienced the single greatest loss of my life, I have a dick for a boss, I have legal issues going on, I am struggling to make ends meet and I have no idea if I will even be able to keep my home.  The last thing I need right now is her issues.

A greater fear is that she knows a lot about me.  I wouldn't care too much if she outed me at work, I am more comfortable being a gay man right now that I have been previously in life.  However, she knows other things that are work related, less say unethical things that I may have done.  If she exposes me there, I am done - they will fire me for sure without asking questions or an explanation.  So my fear is that she is going to take me with her and we will both be in the unemployment line. 
With all of the problems and trouble in my life I need an income for sure.  I can't afford to lose this job, if that were the case I would have left a long time ago.  However, due to the fact that I am not wealthy I have to work for a living and my being employed is as crucial as oxygen is to live.  Cut off my job, you might as well cut off my oxygen because I won't be able to survive very long on my own without some form of income. 

I pray like you can't imagine that this will all come to a very peaceful and quick end.  I learned my lesson very well and will never forget it.  No matter how good of a friend you have, don't ever refer them for any job where you work.  It can have a very negative impact and come to bite you in the ass, even thought you think your doing a good thing, think twice.

Please pray for me, I need it.  I will keep you posted. 

On the home front both brothers (Jumper & Big Boy) have diarrhea, plus there is a third cat with it but I haven't figured out who that is.  I am hoping that it goes away.  I didn't give Big Boy his normal medicine this morning and I know that should help him.  As for his brother well I think it's just a time thing.  I am scared there too - don't want to loose any of them as much of an expense they are, I love them more than they know.  They are all I have left in my immediate world and I can't and don't want to imagine life right now without them. 

Okay so I am at work, I've got a large file transfer going on and have to read some 95 page publication that I have no interest in.  I guess I should get cooking because this stuff won't get done on it's own. 

Talk with you peeps later. 

Average Monday

Do you have a favorite font?  I always struggle with what to use when I blog.  I like something that is easy on the eyes but has some flair to it, without being gaudy.  This font is called BakerSignet BT – I kind of like it.

So as you can tell by the title of this post, not a bad day just average.  It was crazy busy this morning.  The afternoon saw a little bit of calm so I could catch my breath and then the blast hit and it was quitting time.  More work awaits tomorrow. 

I got a call from my friend the boss who is in charge of my friend that I referred.  She asked me what is with all of the personal phone calls.  I said I don’t understand, so she repeated it.  Turns out it was a rhetorical question.  I never have gotten those.  Anyway, she was telling me all about it.  So I asked her at the end of the day if she spoke with her.  She said no because when I went to look for her she had left for the day.  I have told her from the get go that this wouldn’t work.  As much as I don’t like to see anyone fired, it sounds like it would be in the best interest of everyone.  However, my friend the boss is still mulling over her options but realizes that sooner or later it will probably come to that.  My friend that I referred was extra quiet today.  Normally I get like 5 or 10 text messages and a dozen or so IM’s.  One e-mail and One IM, both business related.  I was impressed. 

See the think that irks us both is that she is not really putting the best foot forward.  She was late on her first day, late on the second day, took an hour for lunch on the third day, requested time off within the first week, tried to work from home in the second week.  Then she has all of these demands like an iPod, Laptop, Cell Phone, Office, New Chair, Cordless Keyboard & Mouse, Speakers and the list just goes on.  Why would you act this way or even ask for all of these things when you are new and entering a company in an average position, where you are NOT an executive and NOT a manager or supervisor.  It just makes no sense to me.  If I behaved this way I would expect that I would be fired within days.  Apparently the princess doesn’t understand that you shouldn’t behave this way. 

Delivered the information to the attorney.  Got an e-mail response.  We are talking Thursday after work, I am going to his office.  I asked if it was good or bad news.  He said neither.  He was speaking with a neurologist today about the case.  He will be able to answer my questions as well as give me an update on where things are at.  We are still in the pending area, meaning it could go either way case or no case.  I really hopefully want there to be a case.  Not only because I need the money but because I firmly believe that things would be different if the first ER physician would have acted more responsibly and done what I consider to be the right thing, despite it being contraindicated. 

Went to the vet to pickup an Rx for my girl.  They didn’t have it ready.  So I had to wait around but finally got it.  She wont’ like me when I give it to her.  Cats and pills well they just don’t mix.  Big Boy was showing signs of not feeling well.  I gave him a jolt of medicine to hopefully help him out.  I know what I can get away with and use my best judgment in treating him.  It’s almost time for another checkup.  He doesn’t have scheduled visits, we just go back when I feel it’s time.  I think we are getting close to going back.  I don’t expect good news but he still has a lot of life left in him.  He shows so much affection.  In fact he is due for a bath so I will be headed up to take care of that. 

Met the new girl today.  She is already overwhelmed but she will get the hang of things with a little time.  She is in for a hell of a ride but I can’t tell her that.  I want to let her know about who to trust and who to avoid, etc.  However, it’s better to let her make her own assumptions first and then fill her in later.  I have no idea what type of person she is.  Today being her first day and the brief interactions we had I can’t tell much.

Well time to prepare for yet another day of fun.  Going up to pack my lunch and take care of Big Boy.  Then it will be medicine time for 3 kids and me.  Then I can struggle with what I should watch to wind down. 

Oh before I go the good folks at TLA Video gave me a complimentary subscription to OUT Magazine.  I got my first issue tonight.  Kind of a welcome surprise.  Especially since I haven’t bought anything from TLA in  years.  Maybe this was a way of enticing me back, who knows.  I just appreciate the kind gesture.    

Hope you enjoyed your Monday.  Now 4 more days and we have the weekend again.  I’m ready, how about you?  Talk with you peeps later.

Change Up

With not much to do I decided to change up the blog.  I had several photos to chose from and I always like to put a hot man on the blog.  This time I thought I would change it up a bit and just use some color.  I hope you like it.  If not well keep coming back because it always changes. 

Confession time, I didn’t have Mac & Cheese last night.  Instead I has a little bit of cottage cheese and finished it off.  Then I had a part facial and a shower.  Finally made some pop-corn in the microwave and washed it down with a Diet Cherry Pepsi.  Ah, that was good.  I am not big on pop corn because kernels get stuck in my teeth and then I floss and work and work and finally it comes out and my gums are bleeding.  The only reason I have pop corn is because my partner used to enjoy it.  Now the race is on to eat it all before it expires.  Not exactly sure I will win that race.

Up early again and decided to have breakfast at home.  The coupon I had for 25% off expired and I decided paying full price to see a hot guy with a nice bum, wasn’t worth it.  I could easily look at porn.  So I ate here.  Then threw on some clothes, grabbed the glasses and out the door I went to the grocery store.  I didn’t visit two stores as I had planned.  I just went to my usual.  They had a variety pack of Cream of Wheat so I bought that as a sub.  I will probably hit up the other grocery store next week.  I’m big on Cinabon Cream of Wheat as well as Cinnamon & Spice Oatmeal.  My regular grocery store only carries Apples & Cinnamon which gets really old after a while.  See in the Spring & Summer I eat cold cereal like it’s going out of style.  Then in Fall & Winter I am big on hot cereal.  I usually lose weight this time of year because I only eat 2 packets of hot cereal.  The cold stuff I eat bowls and bowls.  It’s nothing to polish off a small box in one sitting or very close to it.  Just something about the crunch and taste. 

Came home after the store and put away the groceries.  Used two coupons to save some decent money, so I was happy about that.  Then started dishes and laundry.  Went to my room and watched TV.  Work called so I had to answer that a couple times and it was done.  Then back to TV and I promptly passed out.  I was interested in a very good Tyler Perry Movie.  It’s cued up and I have to finish it tonight.  When the TiVo is empty I have a hard time on deciding what I want.  I usually pay for a movie, which is a bad habit.  I don’t go hog wild though, $3.99 is the top of my limit.  Lots of things go for more or they want you to purchase instead of rent.  I’m not all about that.  If I can own it for $3.99 I will buy it, otherwise it has to be something pretty damn special. 

Speaking of which Lewis Black sent out a message this week that Kathleen Madigan has a new special on Netflix.  Watched that on Friday night it was good, I didn’t laugh much but I enjoy her material.  It does take a lot to get me going and then you can’t shut me up. 

When I woke up, I came downstairs to surf the web and check mail.  Not too excited.  I watched Will & RJ’s latest video and came across one of their friends who published his Coming Out Story.  Their friends name is Jake and he is from Australia but living in NY.  He is only 24 years old and I am telling you he is delicious.  I could just eat him up.  The story was touching.  I always love a good Coming Out Story.  They are like porn in that they are addictive to me but they usually send me on an emotional roller coaster because I can identify with so many feelings.  Like the one where you know your different from everyone else but you just can’t put your finger on what it is.  Then one day it hits you like a ton of bricks.  You discover you are attracted to guys and your gay.  It can be a lot to deal with.

I went upstairs with the intention of going out for a pizza.  However, I remembered that I had one in the fridge and really should save my money.  So I was a good boy and ate at home.  I’ve only been to the store and been home the rest of the day.  The kids are just eating up time with daddy.  They love it!  Me on the other hand now that the relaxation is over with I am ready to go.  However, I will stay put until tomorrow morning when I depart for work.  Today is Sad Sunday because tomorrow is Monday.  Boo Hiss.

I’ve got a little bit of free time and then it will be time to get lunch ready, give the kids their snack and meds, shave, put away clothes and take my medicine.  Then bed time.  Sunday nights are always rough to fall asleep because I am pretty well rested and those naps, well they are just the best invention since sliced bread.  They should be mandatory every day.  The world would be a better place.

Thinking about being lonely and wanting to get out, makes me think I should go on a gay cruise, as in a ship.  I would probably have the time of my life and in the middle of the ocean there is no cell reception, so I could leave work behind.  The bad part is that I would be disconnected from the kids.  Money is an issue so I won’t be doing this anytime soon.  However, it is something that I will add to my bucket list.  I need a companion more than I need sex.  I want a hug and to wake up next to another guy that I am in to, who is also in to me. 

The new glasses are working out okay.  I have had to make a couple of adjustments to them.  Cleaning them is a not fun, just like the last pair.  However, having the Crizal coating helps a lot.  I used their micro-fiber cloth this morning and presto, good as yesterday when I picked them up. 

Big day tomorrow meeting another new person in the office.  Also wondering what shit my “friend” will try to pull next or what she will ask for.  It sure would be nice if she got with the program and started working – stopped worrying about other people and stay at your desk and actually get some work done.  However, that might just be asking too much. 

I am attending a webinar for an hour and a half tomorrow so that is like a little bit of an extended lunch period.  I will probably eat my lunch early since we are doing this in someone's office and the new person will be in.  I’d hate to be munching on food in front of the new person but I guess that beats passing out.  See if I don’t eat lunch in a timely manner I will pass out because my blood sugar will dip.  Prior to passing out I get really, really sick.  So there is plenty of warning and if I ignore it I know the consequences. 

Momma is taking a full pill instead of a 1/2 pill of the anti-depressant she was on.  It appears to be working but she sleeps more now.  I asked for more of it so I can continue to evaluate it.  If she does well over the next couple weeks I will ask for a monthly supply.  If not then our next trick is to apply Revolution every three weeks for three months to see if this is a parasite causing her discomfort.  We do have these gnats that appear in the summer and sometimes they bite, that could be the problem.  They go away after the weather gets consecutively cold for a few days.  That is the best part of winter.  We also have 2 window ac units because my partner was hot all the time.  Well they are coming in once it gets cold and I don’t have plans to put them back out next year. 

Well I should go play while I have time.  Work will be calling soon enough.  Hard to believe it’s been 5 months and they have been the worst time of my life.  I will be so glad when this damn year is done so we can start fresh and hopefully things will continue to fall in place as the year winds down.  The mortgage is my next biggest worry outside of when or if Big Boy will pass.  I wish my worries were a lot less than what they are today. 

I hope you had a great weekend and thanks for stopping by to check up on me.  I will talk with you peeps later.

Lazy Saturday

It’s a lazy kick back relax Saturday.  I got up early fed the kids.  Went back to bed, had a bad dream that I was in a car accident trying to pick up my new glasses.  The place was closed and then I woke up in a panic.  Thankfully it was only 9am so I had plenty of time.  Got some breakfast in the kitchen.  Got dressed and went to get my new glasses.  They are okay but it’s really a matter of getting used to wearing these things full time all day long.  I already have a sore spot behind one ear. 

I replaced the headlights as scheduled.  It was a battle because I was doing it all wrong.  I finally broke out my iPhone and looked up a video on-line and found the right way.  That made it so much more easier.  I was done in like 10 minutes and they work.  :)

I thought about going to the auto parts store and taking care of the ones on my car before they blow.  I looked up the video on how to do that and you have to take the entire front grill off and it’s a very elaborate procedure.  I am not mechanically inclined so I am leaving well enough alone.  Next time I am at the dealer I will ask them to replace them, it’s just not a job for an amateur like me to try. 

Got some sleeping medicine in the mail.  My nose spray will be coming on Monday.  All more money to shell out.  I got the kids food and litter dropped $85.  I got to see the hottie that I have a crush on.  He’s in his late 20’s or early 30’s.  Putting on some weight, but he is in no way fat.  I love him bum, it’s just amazing.  Yes he is gay.  I won’t approach him because well it’s awkward and I am more than positive he would shoot me down.  Anyway, it was nice to look and drool.

I made plans to meet a friend for lunch.  We went to Fridays and both had Rubens.  They were pretty good along with a small side salad.  Almost healthy.  I am planning on mac and cheese for supper.

I came home and took a nap.  Then fed the children again.  Retreated to the basement to work on the legal paperwork.  Most of it is done and I am turning in what I have on Monday.  The law firm is in the same building I work in, so no need to waste postage.  I haven’t signed the contract because I have questions.  I want them answered before I turn over rights.  The envelope is sealed and ready to go.  With potential litigation pending I probably shouldn’t switch jobs because if there is a case I will have to take time off for a Deposition and if it goes to trial well there is more time off.  I really don’t want to be stuck at this place but for now it kind of makes sense to stay put unless they throw me out the door.  I have no indication of that, so all should be well.  I just have to mind my P’s and Q’s and lay low – do my job and everything else will fall into place. 

Gassed up my car today and it will sit in the garage until Monday.  I will be taking the truck to get groceries and I have to visit two stores.  My oatmeal is carried at one and the other one well I will get everything else there.  I am sure I will spend way more than I plan on but that’s the way it is. 

Made a pizza last night and ate the whole thing while I chatted on the phone to my brother.  Then a boarding lady called about the cats and I learned of a discount clinic close by that will take care of fixing BLU for $50 which is a bargain.  She said call on Monday and you will be in and out by Friday.  Yeah okay.  I am still NOT going on this damn trip.  It’s way too expensive to get them all shots pay that bill and turn around and pay another bill for boarding.  If work decides to pickup the tab well that would be great but I have to cat sit for someone else that week (or so I am saying) so how do you get me out of that?  You can’t.  So, well too bad I am NOT going on this trip and that is all there is to it.  You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do and that is the bottom line. 

Now it’s time to head back up and get started on the cleaning portion, then supper and not sure what for the rest of the evening.  Maybe some TV and maybe some back downstairs to mess on the computer and who knows maybe I will start laundry.

The electronics recycling drive is next Saturday and the following Saturday.  I’ve got TV’s to get rid of so that should be fun.  I am so not prepared for it, but I HAVE to make one of those drives to get rid of this junk around here.  Hi Ho Hi Ho it’s off to work I go because I owe, I owe.   :)   Hope your having a great Saturday!

:) :(

Yesterday I received a packet of information in the mail from the attorney I asked to look into the wrongful death case.  Right now things are in the pending stage.  However, I have a bunch of paperwork to fill out and a contract to sign.  In talking with my legal eagle friends they tell me that this means there is a case and they plan on trying to move forward.  Which was kind of my take on it. 

No one will ever be able to take away the doubt in my mind because my partner is gone, but I think had he gotten TPA that the outcome of his stroke would be drastically different.  He may have had to live in a Skilled Nursing Facility or have a full time care giver at home but that would certainly be worlds better than having him dead. 

The possibility of getting money out of this is nice, but I would much rather have him back.  I’ve got lots of questions and I am waiting to hear back from my attorney but right now I have every intent of moving forward with this.  The attorney does get a sizeable chunk of the money (if there is any settlement) and they get reimbursed fulliy for their expenses.  Not to mention all of the hosptials, physicians will come running for their share of the pie.  Plus the insurance companies that shelled out money for his care will also want to be repaid.  So in reality I am not sure what I am looking at in terms of my take away.  I’m told the last says I have to be able to retain 50% of the settlement but since everyone has their hand out I suspect that by the time the dust settles I may not have that much left. 

I would like to be comfortable from a financial perspective.  Getting enough to have a reserve plus pay off the house & bankruptcy would be very nice.  Then I could breathe a whole lot easier.  I have no idea if that will happen.

I did forget to mention that if they move forward with the case but I loose I am not out anything but my time.  The attorney won’t be able to come after me.  I can’t move forward and then suddenly change my mind because then I am responsible for everything.  So it’s sort of like a marriage.  Either your all in or your not in at all. 

Big decision but my guy says go for it.  I know the process will wear on me and I will probably want to give up after the pressure mounts but I know it won’t last forever.  Given the venue it’s a high Plaintiff's verdict court so the chances of this going to trial are slim to none, they will most likely make me a settlement offer and honestly that is kind of what I am counting on. 

On the work front, my friend is stirring up all sorts of crap and she even tried to get permission to work from home.  She keeps asking me for things like I have any pull or say so.  I just do what I am told.  I keep telling her you need to make these requests to your boss, you work for her not for me.  Then I get the well you can’t hook me up line.  No I got you the opportunity what you do with it is totally up to you.  Right now she is doing a very good job of making me look bad.  Sure would be nice to be able to quit, I am in the middle of so much drama here – I want to get away from it all.

Speaking of which I learned about our annual trip this year, they are going to someplace warm again.  Everyone is begging me to go.  I can’t get a cat sitter.  So people are telling me to bored my cats.  Yeah, I have looked into that and it’s really expensive when you have so many.  One or two not too bad.  However, I also really don’t have any desire to go on the trip.  It’s done over part of the week, you have to get here at like 2 or 3 am for a 6 am flight.  Then you get back late in the day on a Sunday.  I have shit to do over the weekend like laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.  if I really wanted to go I could pull some strings and it would happen but honestly I’d much rather stay home.

My friend says you have had a crappy year and you need a vacation.  Yeah, I need a vacation from you and these other damn people.  I need a vacation from life in general.  However, facing reality that isn’t going to happen.  I’d love to take time off and go on a trip by myself but how much fund would that be?  Going with someone you love or care about would be so much better.  I don’t want to mix business and personal – just not a good idea in my book.  I realize that if I went I would get spending money but I would rather give up the money and stay home.  At least I will have the kids and be able to stay in my home and do what I want when I want.  Right now I’ve declined but I have been given an extension and I have until Monday to tell them yeah or nay.  I’m not going but if it takes me waiting this out and telling them late in the day on Monday that I am not going then so be it.  I know it won’t look good for me because I didn’t go last year.  Maybe they will get the point I really don’t want to go.

My mom had a doctors appointment yesterday.  My brother was supposed to keep me posted but I had to ask him how things went.  Apparently the doctors think that mom has suffered a stroke because she is having problems with her words.  I am not a doctor but I am quick to blame it on her psyc medicine.  They make some pretty powerful stuff and it can do weird things to you and your brain.  So my brother doesn’t seemed that concerned.  Mom has to make an appointment and be seen by a Neurologist.  She is having accidents, which are more common with a stroke.  Maybe she did have a mild one – until you do image testing (MRI) there is no way to know for sure.  She could be at risk for another one.  If he has to witness that it will just tear him up.  I’ve been through it twice with my partner and it’s not pleasant. 

No real big plans for the weekend, just the usual.  Trying to get together with some friends for a bite to eat, just to have some human contact.  Otherwise it will just be me and the kids.  I will be getting my glasses tomorrow and also probably installing headlights.  I am not thrilled but it will pass. 

I called the mortgage company today, the account is still in review and no additional paperwork is needed today.  I was asked to call back again next week.  So who knows how long this little game will play out and what if anything they will ask for next. 

I just realized a few minutes ago that today is Friday the 13th.  No one seems to be making a big deal about it.  I think it’s mostly because people are still thinking about 09 11.  Well I need to go.  Take care, enjoy your weekend and I will talk with you peeps later.

Remember 9/11

We remember those that fell on this day back in 2001.  I still remember to this day where I was and how I learned about the attacks.  This is a somber day and a day that helps remind us that we all could go at any time, any minute from anything - be it a gun shot, heart attack or terrorist attack.

I watched a movie on Netflix a few weeks back that talked about Airline Security and how things have changed since 9/11.  Basically it's an illusion to fool the public into thinking that there is more security.  Now it's up to you if you believe that or not.  Personally, I think there might be some truth to it, but for the most part I think that the process of flying is more secure overall.  Little things that never caught any attention before now do not go unnoticed. 

Last year I remember one of my bosses was flying and the security on this day was especially tight.  I would hate to be flying on this date, just because of what happened back in 2001.  It was only last year that I started flying commercial for the first time.  Prior to that I had only been up in a private passenger plane.  It takes a little bit to get used to but all in all flying it's self is a breeze.  You just have to learn the process and after that, everything else just falls into place. 

The one thing that I wish is that there would be some restaurants before you have to go through the Security Checkpoints.  I'd probably go to the airport just to eat.  The food is expensive but there is some good food there, you just have to find it. 

I pray that all that perished on this day back in 2001 are resting in peace.  I know there are conspiracy theories about this day, it's America and we are all free to believe what we want to.  I have my opinions and I am sure that you have yours.  However, that is NOT what today is about.  Today is about remembering those who perished.  They were the victims and we MUST NEVER FORGET!

Take care & God Bless!

Slave to my bladder

Over the course of the last 24 hours I feel like I am a slave to my bladder.  Every time I turn around I have to use the restroom.  Today seems better though.  Maybe I just drank more H20 thank usual.

On the work front, a bunch of bankers are here today.  All that means for me is a little peace & quiet and a free lunch.  I hope they are here all damn day long.  :)

My friend appears to be stand offish today.  No more complaints from her boss, so maybe things are going to work out.  I don’t know.  I just pray that if it’s going to end it happens sooner rather than later.

Funny thing is we were fully staffed yesterday, no room at all here.  Then I got an e-mail this morning to turn someone off. Not sure if that person quit or was fired, nor does it matter to me.  So we have one open cubical.

Today seems a lot calmer than yesterday.  It was all busy and little time for play.  Not that I really play that much anyway.  I am working on building a couple machines and it’s not exactly as fun as it used to be. 

I am preparing for our e-mail migration and gathering data for our vendor.  We talked this morning and from what I am seeing this will be fairly smooth.  I am nervous about moving the executives e-mails but I am sure it will all work out.

The boys and I slept together last night.  Big Boy just loves to soak up those belly rubs.  He is talking to me all the time now.  He wants food, he wants the plate turned, he wants treats, time to move the plate.  You get the idea.  He is quite a handful.  I see his breathing difficulty after he uses the bathroom and that breaks my heart.  As long as he stays calm and doesn’t get too active he is fine.  I just think about the day we part and it breaks my heart.  His mobility could improve some if he would loose weight but when your on steroids and you lay around all day and eat, what do you think will happen?  Exactly, you gain weight.  He can still move if he has to. 

Speaking of the kids, I need to call the vet and ask what is going on.  I may just stop in tonight since I have already called and e-mailed and I’m not getting attention.  Momma will need her Thyroid medicine and I want to know what if anything we are going to try next to help calm her down from chewing all the time.  She really gets into it and I just hate to see it.

Speaking of Momma when she plays she usually picks up a foam ball and bats it around or she will carry it around in her mouth.  She howls and meows, if you didn’t know better you’d sware she was hurt.  Well I caught Shy Girl doing the same thing last week.  I wished I could tell my partner.  Kind of a shame he won’t get to hear about that.  Her and her mother are very close and if Shy Girl goes first Momma will be okay.  However if Momma goes first Shy Girl will be a mess and probably die without her Momma around.  Even as an adult the girls all look to Momma.  The boys not so much because they usually get their ears bitten or told it’s bath time.  Momma doesn’t mess with the boys that often.  However, they all know they are family.

Suits is on tonight and I am happy about it, but also kind of sad because the final show airs next Tuesday for this season.  Then I have to wait until next Summer for it to pick up again.  I hate season finales.  However, now that Fall is coming there will be new things on like Scandal.  The Doctors aired there Season 7 Premier yesterday.  Dr. Travis is still looking fine.  He’s the only reason why I watch that show.  You do get some medical knowledge out of the show, so it’s not all about the eye candy.

Speaking of Fall I can sure tell it’s coming.  Its getting darker earlier and staying that way longer in the morning.  Fall was my partners favorite time of year.  We would be going to a winery to eat German Food .  Ah the good old days, sure do miss them.  I am thinking of making a weekend trip to the winery before or after Octoberfest.  I don’t like going down during October because there are crowds of people and most of them are drunk & rude. 

All of the items I listed on eBay have expired and I have not re-listed them yet.  Something I need to do but am not in a hurry.  I’m thinking that I may get rid of them in an auction next year.  A club he was a member of started to have auctions in the first part of the year to get rid of lots of stuff.  They get like 10% off the top but the rest is yours.  You can tell them what you want or just let them figure it out on their own.  I’d rather set a price because then I know what to expect rather than having someone just give the stuff away.

Since I have been thinking about my foot it’s starting to bother me again.  Curses! 

My friend and her boss just came in my office while I was typing away here.  I thought something was up but it was just friendly chit chat and them raving about the food for lunch.  Wow, so excited for nothing. 

Well guess I should get back to business as usual or nothing will get done.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.  Thank for stopping by.

Collections

I guess my previous post was an omen.  I got a collections letter for my partner.  An ER Physicians Group wants to be paid $14.  I told them back in June he was dead.  They turned it over to collections and changed my partners first name to Estate.  Rude!

So I wrote them a letter and told them he owed me money too, but now he is dead so deal with it.  He’s got no money and that is why he was in Bankruptcy.  That should hopefully scare them off.  I mean $14 they are spending way more than that to have a debt collector try to recover the money. 

I am hell bent on not paying for any of his debts, with the exceptions of the mortgage and bankruptcy.  I shouldn’t have to nor would he want me to. 

The funny thing is that the letter looked like it was a check so it enticed me to open it.  Now that I know the trick, future letters will be sent back. 

The rest of the day went okay.  My friend pulled some bullshit and I do believe she is going to get talked to tomorrow.  She is really doing a bang up job of making me look horrible.  I also see why she got fired from her last two jobs, she doesn’t do shit.  Never again!

Monday

It’s a little after 3 pm and Monday has been good but very busy.  My friend showed up for work.  She is still being a princess and asking for technical gadgets and crying when something doesn’t work like it should.  She is very high maintenance.  I would have never figured her for that.  I asked her point blank why are you ordering crap if you know you are going to leave.  She said until God tells me it’s time I am staying.  Oh great, so they are going to fire her.  I hope that she is productive today.  Her boss is going to talk with her about all of her mobile devices that she has on and uses constantly.  Two tablets and a cell phone, plus God only knows where she goes on the internet.  Maybe this will turn around, I sure hope so.

We hired not one but two new people.  I was notified when the first one showed up.  Holy crap, talk about the 11th hour.  Ah, well.  Outside of 1 other guy and the owners I work in an office filled with women.  Ick!  We need some man candy around here.  As of today all of our office space is filled, there isn’t a place to put another single person, unless you stick them in the main conference room.  They are going to hire 1 more person, so I am interested to see where they put them and when it happens.

I got the new people squared away.  My boss introduced me in passing with the new person and as I was walking away he said, he is very good at what he does.  I wanted to get out a recorder and ask him to repeat it.  That way I’d have proof he actually said it.  See what I mean about Dr. Jackel and Mr. Hyde.  The man is bi-polar. 

I am still a little sore today, but we are going to do some self pleasuring tonight for sure.  I hope I don’t make things worse.  Plus I have the fun task of putting the trash out.  Oh joy. 

Not much else cooking at the moment.  Working on project work and building a machine.  Plus dealing with the every day issues.  The help desk software I found is working pretty well for me.  Trying to remember to log tickets when I have been out of the habit for almost 4 years is a little time consuming.  However, in the end I think it will pay off or so I hope. 

Well back to the grind stone.  Salad for supper and hopefully nothing bad comes in the mail.  Oh yeah, the lotion applicator arrived on Saturday.  Used it yesterday and again this morning.  Works great and my back doesn’t itch nearly as much.  Once it gets used to the lotion I should be all set. 

Hope you had a great Monday.  Talk with you peeps later. 

 

Sore

My little girl gave me quite the workout yesterday when I trimmed her claws.  My hips are killing me.  Ever since my partner passed when it’s time to trim her claws she gets progressively worse.  She was hissing, fighting me, biting me and she used those rear claws and got my arm.  I am sore and injured.  I got her claws but I am not sure how good of a job I did.  I do know that I got the knots out of her fur.  She made a mess on the floor, but thankfully I had the steamer out so I just moved it over and up came the stain.  We were not friends for a little bit last night, but as soon as I put food down our relationship was instantly repaired.  I am not sure why she gives me such a fit.  He had nothing to do with trimming her claws, except sometimes he would talk to her.  That didn’t do much from what I saw.  One of her claws was curled under, it was not easy but I got that sucker. 

After our little battle I looked online for some better gloves, to prevent injuries to my arms.  They make them but they are $135.  I saw some snake handling gloves, wonder if that would do the trick?  They weren’t cheap either.  You have never ever in your life seen a cat this mad.  If she could she would spit fire from her dragon breath.  Her tongue turns fire red and it’s very apparent that she is upset.  Then when I touch her she screams like I am going to murder her.  I really wish there was a better way to go about this, I want her to remain calm and not get so worked up.  That’s not good for her.  At least her lungs and heart get quite the workout.  I’ll bet you she slept really good!

My brother called last night, he will be out of a job at the end of October.  Could happen sooner or may take a little longer.  I worked on his resume today and he is going to start looking.  He got a heads up months ago but chose to do nothing about it.  I don’t feel sorry for him.  He’s got a butt load of money in savings and he will get unemployment if he doesn’t get a job.  The bad part is that he will be stuck at home with our mom and he will go out of his damn mind.  Then he will start leaning on me, I don’t want to get involved.

She is giving him quite a run for his money.  Saying strange things like get the soda out of your wallet, how long have we been married.  It’s nonsense.  Then she decided to do laundry.  Apparently she thinks the washing machine is a workhorse.  She had an accident and just threw everything in the laundry.  No pre-rinsing or cleaning.  Well it just cemented it’s self to the clothes when she stuck them in the dryer.  My brother got to find that.  Wow what a mess.

I think unless the doctors can adjust her medicine to get things right, she won’t be living at home for a whole lot longer.  I explained to him that if he goes about that, to put down on the paper work that she plans on returning to the home when she gets better, even if there is no hope that she will return.  This way he can continue to make mortgage payments in her name and live there.  He was afraid that the State or Nursing Home would take the house.  I think before it’s all said and done she will wind up as a resident some place, just not sure where.  Kind of sad.  I wonder what would happen if they took her off all of her medicine, slowly then just see how she acts.  I realize that could be dangerous but that mind altering medicine has way too many side effects. 

I got out of bed at a decent hour, made it to the grocery store in the rain.  Learned that the truck has a burnt out headlight.  I ordered replacements via Amazon.  Should be here Wednesday.  They are simple to replace, we did it together as a team last time.  This time I will be on my own, not worried about that task.  I filled up the tank with $12 in gas.  I’ve got a 1/2 tank now.  I don’t drive it that often, nor do I want to.  I just don’t want it to rot away.  It’s going to be traded in when I get things squared away along with my car.  Plus I am sure it will serve me in the winter if things get too messy around here.  That’s when I will start to keep a full tank.  Didn’t manage to clean out the garage yet so it’s still sitting outside. 

The grocery store was packed because of the rain, looks like all of the rats ran inside for shelter.  I plowed my way through in nothing flat.  What used to take us an hour to do I can easily do in less than 20 minutes.  I have my go to isles and don’t venture off the beaten path much.  It’s same old crap each and every week, which gets old.

Tomorrow I will be having salad.  It’s a simple quick meal and since I have to put the trash out and it’s Monday I really don’t want to fuss over dinner.  Plus it’s semi healthy.  :)

Speaking of Monday, I have already heard from the gem I work for.  He answered some e-mail I sent to him.  Thankfully no response was needed.  I found a free help desk ticketing system that is web based.  I played with it last night and it looks awesome for being free.  I am going to give it a try because I can get a report out of it to show my work.  It would give him a better idea of what I do, I wish the reports were more granular but you get what you pay for.  I am not mentioning it, just going to start using it and then if something happens I will have backup.

I am worried about my “friend” to see if she is going to bother to show up tomorrow.  Thus far no contact from her.  I guess it will be a surprise.  Personally I don’t expect her to show up.  If she does I am not certain that she will last all week long.  I know that she is doing a job that she told me that she doesn’t want to do anymore.  Plus there is a lot of clerical work and that is beneath her.  All I can say is I did my part and I am truly sorry for helping.

I had left over Lasagna for lunch, it was okay.  I made my Mexican dish for supper.  Stand and Stuff soft tortillas, filled with con queso, refried beans and taco meat.  Top with Sour Cream.  I ate 3 of these bombs.  Man I got full and fast.  There are left over beans and con queso.  I’ve got a fresh tub of meat so I could easily do it again.  It’s just a little bit of work, which on a work night I wouldn’t want to try because I would get easily frustrated.  Since I used bowls and had con queso caked on a dish I did a 2nd load of dishes so everything is clean, or so I hope. 

I am going back on my Oatmeal diet.  I’ve been going through a normal size box of cereal in 2 days.  Bowl after bowl, after bowl.  It’s good and I have been that way since I have gotten older.  Oatmeal I just make two packets and that’s it.  When it’s gone, it’s gone and there is nothing more to do.  I noticed that I am bulging at the sides so I am ready to clean that up.  It’s got to be a combo of stress and what I am eating.  I can’t control the stress but I can control what goes into my body. 

Ever since my partner passed, my passion for sweet things has diminished.  I threw away a pack of donuts that has been sitting on the table for 3 weeks.  Blu peed on them and even though they were sealed in a box and still good I just decided it was better that way.  I got a replacement pack today at the store and plan on eating one at breakfeast.  I am keeping them in a different place so Blu can’t destroy them.  Anything cardboard on the table he pees on.  I’d really like to fix that problem but no money. 

I do eat a lot of Pasta, Mexican and it’s all frozen or something quick heat and eat.  Oh don’t forget Pizza.  I see less vegtables and more “junk” so it’s no wonder my weight has shifted.  I have to get things more balanced and under control.  Otherwise this old body of mine will crap out that much sooner. 

Last night I found a site that I thought was awesome and I put together my Last Will & Testament.  Turns out before you can print it you have to sign up for their service.  Crap, it was a waste of time.  Kind of neat though, they had provisions for a Digital Executor to take care of all of your Social Media Accounts.  Something that everyone will have to think about.  I closed out my guys stuff for the most part.  It was a no brainer.  I sent a message out that he passed away.  I gave it a week or two and I shut it down.  What’s the point of him lingering out there in Cyberspace.  People are so stupid they will just ask him to play a game or invite him to Farmville.  I don’t have time for that.  I know where he is at, the last thing he is thinking about is Farmville or Social Media. 

I just took a quick break to feed the children there evening snack.  It’s dark outside and it’s just past 7:30, another sign that winter is on the way.  This week we have another Heat Wave so it’s going to be extra hot.  Glad I got my hair extra short. 

I made a checklist for the day and I am proud to say that all but one task has been completed.  That was cleaning out my office closet.  I am just too sore to attempt it.  I also want to do some self pleasuring but all of the muscles in my hips hurt and I just think that would make it worse.  :(    Waiting does make it better but then I think I could have this amazing feeling every night why do I wait?

My depression is still hanging on, but I am trying to keep busy to avoid it.  That has helped some.  It won’t help that I will be wearing some of his clothes to work tomorrow.  I just did a special load of laundry with only stuff from his wardrobe that I kept.  I figure I might as well get some use out of it.  Plus when I clean my office closet up, I will be able to donate more clothes to Goodwill but they will be my old clothes.  I realize after cleaning out his closet that I have hung on to way too much stuff, so it’s time to purge.

The last task of the night will be trimming my claws.  I hate that, every two weeks like clock work.  I like long nails but they help breed infection and spread germs, not to mention they are difficult to type with, when they get too long.  Plus us guys aren’t supposed to have nails.  I’d love to paint them if I could, but that would really make me appear odd to my co-workers.  Clear polish is about as much paint as they have ever and will ever see. 

Doing nothing, changes nothing so I guess I better get to work because time is ticking away here and before you know it morning will come.  Oh brother, I just hope tomorrow is a calm Monday and that the dick leaves me alone, I’m in no mood for bullshit. 

Thanks for stopping by.  I hope you had an awesome weekend.  I guess we will weather this next week together.  Talk with you peeps later.  Good night & God Bless. 

Catchy music

 

 

Depression

So this big wave of depression hit me all of a sudden on Friday evening.  It started with me being conflicted about what to do for supper.  I wound up coming home after getting cat food and just lounging around.  Didn’t feel like doing anything.  Wanted someone to talk with but all of my friends were unavailable.  One was supposed to call me right back but that didn’t happen until 2 hours later.  Now we are playing phone tag.

Just the events of the past week with my boss and the mortgage company have me kind of down.  Plus coming home to an empty house that I have to clean doesn’t help.

On the work front, my friend came to tell me that she will be fasting and praying over the weekend about if she should bother to come back to work.  It sounds to me like she is riding the fence and doesn’t know which way to lean.  Thus far she is non productive, shows up late, answers her cell phone with the name of her personal business and is booking appointments.  So in other words she has a very poor work ethic and really doesn’t care if the work gets done or not.  She is working for the best and nicest person in the company and if she would just stop asking for things and talking on the phone, then she might actually get some work done.  I don’t get why she isn’t more productive.  It’s making me look bad and I am ready to do her job for her.  However, I am not.  Basically the next time we speak unless she made a decision I am going to tell her to make a decision and stop riding the fence.  Either you want to work or you don’t, only you can answer that and do what is right for you.  But please make a decision because your killing me.

No boss man on Thursday or Friday – sweet.  Nice and clam in the office.  I accomplished a little bit, not as much as I wanted to but it will all get done in due time.  I am pretty much at my limit with regards to stress and dealing with this crab ass of an old man.  I am ready to tell him either you or going to fire me or your going to leave me a lone so I can actually do my job.  I want and need relief it’s been a bad year for me and he is not helping matters.

Heard from the Wrongful Death attorney.  Take away from his e-mail sounds like there might be a case.  I have been asked to get medical records from the 2nd hospital where my partner was transferred to.  I am filing that request today but it will take time to make its way through the system and then I am sure there will be a mountain of a fee to pay.  He was there for 2.5 days and they did all sorts of things to him and for him.  Lots of tests and medicine.  I just hope the fee isn’t that much just because if there isn’t a case then I am out more money that I really can’t afford.  The possibility of having a case really has me kind of excited because it’s more money in my pocket.  Most of these things usually settle and never ever see a court room.  I am happy to take however much I can squeeze out of them.  I don’t know how you put a price tag on a human life but if I can get enough to take care of the bankruptcy & mortgage I will be okay.  An extra perk would be to have something left over.  But having the pressure lifted from both of those expenses would be a true God send. 

Paid bills today, how depressing.  Had to rob from savings again in order to make ends meet.  Not a lot but what I have local is almost gone.  I have more but it’s at a virtual bank so I may have to request money from them.  In fact I am thinking of doing just that to pay off one credit card.  Then I would be totally debt free, except for normal expenses.  All I have to do is try to not go hog wild and everything should fall into place.  Easier said than done when you need stuff. 

I am tired and ready for a nap.  While I would like to take one I have to continue laundry, vacuum & clean the carpet.  Plus tend to the litter boxes, I skipped last night and you can tell that today.  However, that nap part sure sounds nice – maybe just an hour or two.  I am going out for Chinese tonight because I am hungry for it. 

Today I have made it to the eye doctor.  They don’t need to see me again nor do they want to until April.  However, I did order new glasses.  I paid $200 but the charges were over $900 not bad for $8 a paycheck coverage.  I really wanted an extra exam but that just didn’t work out.  So hopefully in one to two weeks I will be getting new glasses.  I had everything done to them so I won’t have any excuses not to wear them, except for the fact that I simply don’t want to.  I really like my sun glasses but the doctor told me that I would probably feel more comfortable if I was wearing glasses when driving.  I got Nike frames, Crizal Treatment for Glare, UV Light and Scratch Coating, Thin Poly Carbonate Lens, Auto darkening extra dark and extra quick for the sun.  So basically they will do it all just put them on and I should be all set.  Morning, Noon and Night – except for the shower and sleeping.  Hopefully they will turn out to be a good investment and I will reap the rewards. 

That nap really, really sounds good.  I am going for one of them now.  Hopefully the children cooperate and allow me to sleep just an hour or two, then I have to get something accomplished around here. 

Talk with you peeps later.