Today capped off what was a horrible week for me. I reached out to my brother by phone last night and he chose to let the call go to voice mail. I left a message and even apologized, I asked him to return the call just to let me know that he was okay. He chose to ignore me. If I want something that isn’t anyone that is going to keep me from getting it. I gave him space and time. However, after I got home from the grocery store this morning his time was up. I called the police and they did a welfare check on him. Turns out he wasn’t home. The cops did their research and got in touch with the bitch’s son that lives with him, who in turn provided the police with the cell phone number of his mom and said that my brother was with her. They called me back and gave me the phone number. I took it and then waited and waited. I knew I would get a reaction. Sure enough I got a very angry text from my brother because I got the police involved. He said if you wanted to check on me then all you needed to do was reach out. Well you dumb motherfucker I did that and you fucking ignored me. So what else was I supposed to do. I am certainly not dropping by. I explained my actions and told him very politely that I did reach out. Well he didn’t have a retort for that other than he was busy and couldn’t talk but he is fine. They are officially back together because he is pussy whipped and weak. Then about two hours later I got a read receipt that he picked up the email I sent him. Now he has it in writing that I think he is doing the wrong thing and that he is on the express bus to hell with the final destination being death. He also knows not to bother me when things go to shit and they will. I mean he said it best himself, history repeats it’s self. I don’t know why he would think she is any different now than what she was before. I am truly disappointed in him but his life and how he choses to live it is out of my control.
What I can’t seem to understand is why every time I do anything with family I wind up with the short end of the stick, not once and a while but all the fucking time. This is the final straw and I am done with him. No more advice, help or listening to him cry & bitch. It’s clear by his actions that he really doesn’t care at all about me. It’s always been about what I can do for him and what benefit he will get out of things. He makes empty promises and expects me to cut him breaks because were family. Well that ship has sailed. I am a little disappointed in myself because I thought things would be different this time but deep down I knew he would go crawling back to her and I was just being used. For 2 months he managed to prove me wrong. His relationship is the same as the wife who goes back to the husband who has a drinking problem and beats her. She thinks he will change and things aren’t so bad until he starts drinking. Well that drink has power over him and he’s going back to it until he either dies or gets help. He will beat her until eventually she winds up seriously injured or dead. Misery loves company and they fucking deserve each other. When he’s in jail, in the hospital or at the morgue it would be nice to know. He’s not my problem or responsibility, nor has he ever been.
My new grass guy showed up. We chatted and I outlined what I wanted him to do. He wanted to come back in 2 weeks and get it all done but I told him I need the bushes trimmed and the sticks picked up, it’s looking pretty run down and I don’t want to wait 2 weeks. He asked to use a ladder but I told him I didn’t own one. That is a complete and utter lie but if I give him something to use and he gets hurt or worse I am sure there is some liability on my part. So for that reason I was like sorry can’t help you. He says he will be back next week to take care of the bushes and sticks. Then the following week to cut the grass. Gosh I hope this works out now that the old guy has been fired and had the cops called on him for trespassing.
To help pass some time and I guess give me a challenge for the day, I decided to change my cabin air filter. There is something I never ever want to do again. In my case I had to rip out part of the dash under the passenger side of the car. Then take out a torx bolt and pull out the old filter. The filter didn’t want to come out and the replacement was next to impossible to put back in. It took me hours to do what a trained professional who is in better shape than me can probably do in the course of 20 minutes. Funny thing is I thought oh my brother could probably help me. I let that thought go. I worked at it and finally got the job done. I did injure my pinky finger on my right hand at the tip of the nail and on the side of my hand I got some sort of a fabric splinter. It hurt like hell. I went to take care of that not realizing about the tip of my finger and that I was dripping blood. A couple band-aid and some antibiotic ointment and I was fine.
A friend called and asked me to dinner. We went to a Chinese place, it was okay but not the best. Our meal was over with and we decided to walk around a local mall. I didn’t realize that he wanted to walk every square inch, then stop in here and there and chat people up. My lower back is killing me and my legs feel like wet noodles. Tomorrow morning I know I am not going to feel well at all. My shoulder and back are bothering me from the car repair and then my lower back and legs. I guess it’s a good thing I got most everything that needed to be done over the weekend accomplished today. It was a nice change of pace though. Saw a few hot guys. One we were talking with in a store and I was going to ask him out until he disclosed he was a smoker. It’s great if that is your thing, it’s not my thing and it’s very much a deal breaker. Still he was pretty cute. I didn’t want to spend a dime while we were there but managed to come home with 3 Yankee Candles. Thankfully we never made it to the Mont Blanc Store or I would have really been super poor. There are certain things I can’t resist and candles and pens are up there. I could have had some Godiva chocolate for free but passed it up. I don’t need it, I did want it but that was early on in our stop and my will power was really strong. We smelled a lot of cologne. I was hoping to find the new scent that I am interested in but we didn’t come across it. I also didn’t take my afternoon allergy pill so my nose was suffering a little bit.
Hey there is also a full moon so maybe that explains all of the crazy and stressful week. Oddly enough I figured I would get caught while we were out with a call. I was close enough to the office that I would have just gone in but nope not one peep. The cats are glad I am home but not happy that I am in the basement. My eyes are getting heavy so I’ll be in front of the TV and in bed in no time flat. Here’s hoping that next week goes much smoother than this week has gone. This is the worst it’s been in sometime and I know a little rain must fall into each of our lives.
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