At least Monday is over with, it wasn’t a horrible day but it wasn’t without issues. I got a phone call from the mail order pharmacy who explained to me what I already knew about my sleeping medicine. They told me I could file an appeal, jeez I’ve already been down that road twice. It’s like insanity with them. This all happened before my letter was delivered to their president, so I am hopeful that will help further this along. I am so tired of fighting a 400 pound gorilla. I am honestly tired of fighting in general, it’s exhausting and really sucks the life out of you and not in a good way.
My doctors office reached out to me last night about my diabetes and this nurse practitioner thought she would be helpful and suggested a medication that combined two drugs and should really work at helping me. That sounded great until I looked at the cost and it’s $1,500 for 90 days. That’s my cost and there is no way in the world I can afford that. I rejected it and she fired back with we can get it pre-approved. That’s not the issue, it’s covered but my cost won’t change that is fixed by contract. I know the manufacturer offers a coupon but with mail order you have to front the cost then apply for the rebate and wait. I don’t have a spare $1,500 to front. So this isn’t an option I fired back a little stronger this morning. Problem here is that there are a plethora of drugs to treat this but the doctors only prescribe what they are marketed because there is an incentive there for them. If it’s covered and affordable I am fine with that but when it’s not affordable then I am not fine with that. I’ve done my research and know there are plenty of ways to combat my problem long before we get to injectables but the problem will be trying to get my doctor to play along. I realize my condition here is directly my fault and that there are dire consequences to pay if it’s not properly controlled but I can’t go bankrupt in the process or that will just tack on more problems instead of solving them.
It’s been a couple days but over the weekend I pulled out of the dating scene, the apps are gone from my phone and I miss them. I know I can go back at anytime but thinking your going to meet someone through an app I just think it’s far fetched. I had a lot of faith in it at first but the longer I have been around the block and the more apps I use, well it just seems like a time waster to me. That is not to say I am done but I am pausing. I need to get up the courage to go out into a bar, which isn’t my scene I think that my chances might be better but I don’t want a smoker or a drinker (socially is okay but nothing heavier than that).
Two people put in there notice today. One of which I have a major crush on. He has no idea but outside of my crush, I do enjoy working with him. He’s smart in addition to being sexy and that is very appealing to me. He’s also straight and 4 hours away from me. So there is no point in revealing my feelings. Seeing people leave causes me to wonder if I am in the right place and given how I have been treated it’s more than temping to look, but I keep telling myself your comfortable, unless something goes horribly wrong or I make a huge fuck up this is essentially guaranteed income. Problem is when we get comfortable we get complacent and I think that along with some fear of being able to make it is what is holding me back, not to mention the searching, interviewing and rejection. So for now I will stay put. Speaking of which it’s time to get in gear and get to it.
Have a great Tuesday. Stay warm and I will talk with you again soon!
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