The First Date

So the app my therapist recommended, has yielded me 2 guys.  Both ironically w/o face pictures.  The first guy is Jason he is mixed.  I haven't seen a face picture yet.  We are going to talk by phone tonight.  He is really giddy about it.  I don't know a lot about him yet but suspect that will change tonight.  He actually wanted me to text him but rather than play the silly game of back and forth I would rather cut to the chase, life is too short and I am too impatient.  

The second guy is Dave he is younger than me and divorced.  He says he is BI but I honestly think he might just be hiding behind the label.  He says that he has always preferred guys.  My late partner said the same thing and it took me a couple years to make him see that he was gay and not BI.  In any event we did the chat thing and back & forth last night.  Things were going so well that I just asked him if he would like to meet in person.  He was all about it.  However, rather than a public place he tried to get me to come to his home.  I said nope.  Neither one of us has any assurances that the other person isn't a psycopath.  You hear horror stories all the time and rather be safe than sorrry.  So we are going to meet at a resturant.  Then he tells me that he is broke and can't afford his meal.  Okay, I understand that.  I said if you can come I will be happy to pick up the check.  I set the record stright from the get go.  I'm not buying you dinner to get into your pants and there are absolutley no strings attached to my offer.  We meet and if we make a connection and things go right, then you can repay me.  If there isn't a connection well then consider it a favor. So Saturday night 6pm ...wish me luck.   He sent me a face picture and he's not bad looking.  Think he might be fat like me, so we should be a good match from body types. :) 

I wasn't really affected by any of this last night but today I seem to have a little extra pep in my step.  I am kind of excited to see what happens, as my life unfolds before my eyes.  I also kind of feel like I am cheating but I've felt assurances that is simply not the case.  I know my guy would want me to move on, in fact we had a conversation about this very topic.  Ah, I'm tearing up.  I miss him so much and the thought of him not coming back is continually sinking in.  All I can hope for is that I meet someone who is just as nice, kind and loving as he was.  Then my world will be almost perfect. 

Okay time to change gears and shift into work mode.  Happy Friday!