Perplexed

Have you ever thought of something you wanted to say but were afraid to say it? I think it’s happened to everyone at one time or another. While I have been in that situation more than one time in my life. At present I find myself having written a couple of posts for my blog but am hesitant/nervous about publishing them.

One post is about a co-worker and some interactions we have had. By interactions I don’t mean anything sexual. I have feelings for this person and kind of think that if I publish the post it could compromise my identity, plus it would be something that would live forever. My co-worker probably wouldn’t find it but if they did then they would know I blog, find my blog and see things that I don’t necessarily want them to.

The second post is about how I lost my virginity. It’s a story that I will of course never forget. Writing it took me back to the very moment it all happened and the feelings I had. Reflecting on that time makes me want to go back in time, not necessarily with the knowledge I have today but just to enjoy the experience over again and again. It’s a once in a lifetime thing and no time is ever as good as your first time. I am reluctant to post the contents for a few reasons. I think I would need to turn on the 18+ filter to be safe, not that it’s a bad thing but I certainly wouldn’t want someone to innocently stumble on the content. Then again if your reading a gay blog your intentions are because your probably curious, looking for eye candy or just want to see what is out there. That is a generalization which might be unfair to presume and certainly doesn’t apply to everyone who reads a gay blog or even this blog. It’s also very raw and personal, while I am comfortable in revealing certain aspects of my life, I don’t know that I want to tell the world everything. I mean doesn’t that take away from the mystery? I think that somethings are just too much to share.

I put this out to see what you the readers think. If it’s something you would be interested in reading or if you have advice or feedback to offer. In the end I know the final decision rests with me. I also have a fear that over sharing could drive some people away. Which while you can’t please everyone, I certainly am not out to offend anyone. I think one has enough enemies and to add to the list is foolish.

I’ve spent a decent part of today working on content, the two aforementioned posts I recently worked on and something inside said you shouldn’t publish that. Most every time I go against that little voice it gets me into trouble so I started listening regardless if I agree or not.

How’s Tuesday treating you? For me it’s been a bit of a wild ride. I helped a person resolve a hell of a problem but had to do it over lunch, missed a meeting and had 2 upset cats. The morning started off okay but Marv was sick. That reminds me I forgot to give him his medicine. Well we can play catch up tonight. Otherwise it’s been an average day. My mosquito repellant came and that was the best thing that happened thus far. Last night I did empty out a lot of content from my DVR and that was enjoyable. Had my Cheesecake and of course this morning I stepped on the scale; I am a few pounds heavier. Not a complete surprise. Workday is about done and I am eager to step away from this box and monitors. Hope you had a great day. Take care of yourself and we will talk with you peeps again soon!