The weather man was right, it was snowing just as morning rush was underway. I left the house extra early and still managed to arrive 10 minutes late. I am happy there were no incidents, even though I did have a sudden stop my car slid slightly but I had plenty of room and was able to come to a stop in plenty of time. The longer I sat the more time I had to think about different things. The anxiety from yesterday has carried over into today, it’s like I feel paralyzed and that I won’t be able to perform my job. We got this directive that we are only supposed to talk amongst ourselves and not go directly to other teams for help. That kind of creates a bit of a quagmire but I understand the reasoning behind it. It’s to help keep people focused, so if you bother someone with a question your taking them away from what they are presently working on. However, that quality and ability should be promoted here because it helps make us better. We have a very strict process to follow and if we don’t there are consequences. Problem is not everyone knows everything and if you go to a specialty team like networking with a network question that no one else has they are the best people to advise you on how to proceed. This is more of a political thing and I don’t do well with politics.
I have been having dreams of missing my partner and just being inconsolable, crying my eyes out. It’s kind of what I would like to do in real life but I honestly don’t think it would help. I think I am mostly cried out. The scab is starting to form and healing is under way but it’s a very slow process and something that I can’t seem to speed up. I think of him often, I am reminded of him when I go home and look around. I miss him when I walk through the door because there is no home cooked meal and the house is quiet. I like quiet but right now I would trade that plus everything I have to get him back in good health and continue our live together. I know that is a mere wish and will not ever become a reality. The final chapter in our relationship has been written and is complete. Moving forward alone on my own is not an easy thing to do. Add to that all of the difficulty in dating and trying to find a new person and it’s no wonder my emotions are on a rollercoaster.
The weather has not let up, it’s still snowing. The commute home is going to t-totally suck. However, given the fact I have tomorrow off I am not terribly worried about it. I wanted to go out to grab a bite to eat tonight but if I am sitting in traffic all I will want to do is get home and the sooner the better. The restaurants will all still have food come tomorrow. There is no chance we are closing early and in listening to the weather forecast it’s going to be like 15 to 20 below wind chills tonight. There is much more winter on the way with a wintry mix for the weekend and the first part of next week. It’s like the snow will never go away. I said I wanted snow and now I have it but in an abundance that I didn’t want. It can go away along with the traffic headaches. This guy is ready for spring. Looks like that groundhog wasn’t kidding around this year when he saw his shadow.
My plans for tomorrow are to get my car serviced, talk to the folks at the court house about my house to make sure ownership has been properly transferred, get a haircut, go to therapy, grab a bite to eat, pick up cat food and then it will be on to home to start the marathon of house of cards. I thought about staying up late tonight and watching at least the first episode but considering I have an early morning appointment with the car, I don’t know that I would make it if I was up that late. So tonight will be much like any Thursday night in that I will go through all of the same motions that I typically do, in preparation for an early morning start.
BTW, I forgot to mention that I have completed an item on my bucket list. I saw NPH naked – front and back. The photos are on the internet, you don’t have to join some website or pay money – just let Google be your friend and you can find both images. The front isn’t that clear but the back is and that is what I have been interested in. David Burtka is one lucky, lucky man.
With that I am going to get ready to complete my afternoon in the hopes that it flies by. Call volume has been down yesterday I took like 4 calls all day long. Today hasn’t been much better I think I had 2 this morning. While I am not complaining that is a lot of idle time and it ticks by slowly, which is maddening.
Have a nice weekend and I am sure that I will be back with an update in the next couple days. I am trying my best to stay warm & healthy, I hope that you are doing the same and that life is treating you and your loved ones very well. Hard to believe that we will be entering the third month of 2015 on Sunday. Just another sign that spring is really on the way!
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