Lonely…

Friday is usually a good day but it wasn’t a great day for me.  I sensed that something had changed with my friendship with a co-worker.  She has been giving me bizarre advice and I felt like I was being treated differently.  Well I asked and she told me that I am taking up too much of her time talking to her.  She wants to concentrate on work.  Now she chats with other people in the office but apparently it’s just me that she doesn’t want to talk to.  She didn’t quite know how to tell me but since I asked she thought it was the perfect time.  Jesus given all I have been through this year you’d think that someone would be a little more sensitive, especially since I have been pouring my heart out to them.  I get it she finds me annoying and well I just won’t fucking waste my time talking to her unless it’s business.  I don’t think she knows how much she hurt me but eventually that will make it’s way out.  What kills me is to hear her cutting up with others but she has no time for me.  Honestly I think she knows something and I feel that my job is probably on the line even though she says she doesn’t know anything.  I think differently.  If they are going to fire me, well just do it already.  I am doing the best job possible and if that isn’t good enough well too bad.

I got my hair cut instead of going home, I called ahead and they said there was no waiting.  Yeah I walked in and they were slammed.  There was a cute guy ahead of me and I took my time staring at him and I think I made him uncomfortable.  He was just easy on the eyes.  I learned that he was going to a local college near by.  Interesting what people disclose to the person that does their hair.  It’s like there are no inhibitions. 

I came home and caught hell because I was late but we all ate and pretty well called it a night.  I was uber depressed and was thinking about suicide.  My only problem with that option is the kids.  I have no idea if they would be split up, put down or what exactly would happen to them.  So for their sakes I am still alive for the moment.

Saturday I was still feeling depressed.  The mortgage denial is official and it’s because the sales guy didn’t know that you had to be a previous property owner.  So I am probably out $250 but I have started a small war to try to recover the money.  The sales guy tells me he is still trying to help me but since he has already fucked me over I will think twice before I do business with him.  If they give me back the $250 then that will probably be enough to change my mind. 

I went out to Red Lobster in the evening and that helped to lift my spirits.  From that point on things just started to go back to normal.  I was okay by Sunday.

In starting my small war, my ink jet printer died.  It’s still covered under a warranty but I honestly didn’t feel like calling and talking with a nerd and being put through my paces only in the end to have them see it my way and ship me a replacement printer.  I am tired of the printer and all of the woes I have experienced with it.  It was good while it lasted but we parted ways. 

Sunday I went out and got me a new HP.  I wanted an Epson but Sam’s didn’t have ink for an Epson.  I know there is ink with the printer and I could have bought ink on-line I just wanted to get everything and go.  So that is why I spent a little more money and went with HP.  There are some extra perks of spending the extra money.  I can e-mail anything from anywhere to a special e-mail address and it will print directly to the printer.  Kind of cool.  Plus no special software needed for my iPhone if I am home I can print straight to it  Kind of nice.  It does an okay job.  It’s not a top of the line model but it will suffice for my needs.  I just hope they don’t rob me on ink like the last printer did.

Sensing that Monday was coming I started to get a little depressed.  Got a phone call from a friend who was checking on me.  I pretty well shut everyone out of my life this weekend.  If you wanted or needed me, you had to call me.  I still kind of feel like that.

Oh I did go to the dentist on Saturday – no problems as usual.  Come back in 6 months.  Love that!

Well it’s getting late here and I am tired.  It’s been a long day and tomorrow will be even longer so off I go. 

I am anxious for the food on Thursday but not exactly sure how I will be doing emotionally since this will be the first Thanksgiving w/o my guy.  I miss him more and more as time goes by.  Absence does make the heart grow fonder.  I wish that weren’t  true but it is.

Talk with you all again soon.  Thanks for stopping by.