Plan C ?

It’s been overly busy here at work and there has been little time for me.  Work late, get home late, eat late and go to bed on time.  Just part of the job. 

Yesterday was a good day up until 4pm.  I had an appraisal on the house scheduled for today but the company called and cancelled it saying that the bank said it was no longer needed.  That of course caused me to reach out to my lender and turns out my application was denied.  Not for a very good reason either.  It’s because when filed Bankruptcy I wasn’t a property owner and I didn’t loose property because of filing Bankruptcy like to a short sale.  They knew this going into the process but the underwriter that I got was horse shit and she called it the way she thinks it should be. 

I am furious!  I’ve brought out all of the big guns to try to get this appealed.  I’ve got my congressman’s guy working on it as well I have sought assistance from another congressman via a friend who has a brother that works for him.  Plus the lender is appealing the decision but we won’t know anything for at least 2 weeks because the appeals process takes place via a conference call.  I really need this in order to survive it’s not a matter of convenience. 

A friend of mine told me maybe this is the universes way of telling you that you aren’t getting the house and it’s time to move on.  Yeah, then I have to pick and choose which cats I keep and which cats I get rid of.  That is not an option for me, I can’t make that choice it would be like death all over again.  I know that it’s not practical to have as many cats as I do but I am working with what I have.  It’s not like I am taking in any more.

I’ve spent a lot of time cleaning up the place and right now it appears for nothing.  They are refunding my appraisal fee of $450 but I am stll out the $250 for the class they made me take.  I am trying to get them to refund that provided they don’t give me a loan but it might just be something I have to take a loss on. 

So as you can probably tell not only is there anger there is more depression.  I have actually thought about checking out because I am tired of all of the bullshit this world is flinging my way.  I am very tired, more than anyone can possibly imagine.  Death was bad enough to deal with but all of the after effects are enough to make me wish that I went with him.  No one should have to endure this kind of pain and burden.  I’ve fought for everything that I have in my life and I am tired of fighting.  I need a damn break, a vacation, a couple of drinks and maybe a cute guy.  Not asking for much, right! 

For now I am pressing on and seeing what the outcome of the situation is.  I am all alone and given the situation that I am put in I am scared.  It’s tough when you have no one to turn to.

On the dating front I thought sure the cute guy that hit me up would have responded back by now but nothing yet.  I have hit up a couple other guys but no responses back.  I think I got suckered into subscribing to a service that isn’t going to do anything for me but take my money.  It really doesn’t do a lot for my self esteem.  It would be nice to look forward to a date, to be nervous and then to just hit it off.  Even if the one didn’t go well I could at least say that I had been on a date.

Well it’s getting late, time to pack up my desk and call it a day.  Back tomorrow for one more day.  Then three days next week and off for 4 – plus dinner with friends.  Something to look forward to but certainly not a whole lot. 

Talk with you peeps later.  Sorry for being down but it’s just how I feel right now with the cards I have been dealt.