Executed

So I executed my plan.  Things didn’t turn out like I thought they would.  However, I am still hoping that things will change. 

I felt really good about what I did.  Then in a matter of a few short minutes my boss yelled at me again.  Nothing related to the plan, he has no idea about that. 

I was doing really good on the hardware project.  I don’t have a whole lot left and my plan was to try to get it out by the end of the week, provided I was left alone.  Well I got buried with some BS project that he wants me to do now because he is angry.  Okay so the hardware project goes on the back burner and I will take care of the BS project for him tomorrow.  I will make sure I take my sweet time and draw it out as long as I can. 

I’ve determined that it’s in my best interest to leave as quickly as possible.  I am still open to change but I don’t think that will happen.  Perhaps after I am gone the dumb ass will realize what he lost, then again it doesn’t matter all that much to me just as long as I get away from him.  The work environment is toxic!

We got a nice surprise today after lunch, the power went out for like a whole minute.  Then it came back on.  Holy crap do you have any idea how hard that is on computer equipment, not to mention the poor servers.  I was beside myself and thought sure we would have a problem but thankfully everything kept on ticking like it was supposed to.  Thank God for a UPS!

Got home late because I was staying to dig up information on the BS project.  Anyway, had a salad for supper it was smaller than what I had last week and tasted pretty good. 

The mail brought me my new license plates for what is now my truck.  I hate the plate and really would be content in keeping what my partner had, but the state isn’t so accommodating.  So I have to use what I have been given for about 30 to 45 days and then I will get something new.  I filed my request on-line tonight and it’s going to cost me another $80 but might as well have something I like.  I think I will be hanging on to that vehicle longer than I want to.  I’d really like to put it in storage but afraid that it would totally go to waste, just sitting with no miles on it.

Come on Thursday!  I am so ready to get this week over with.  Unless someone makes me a better offer I am leaving town this weekend, just for a few hours need to get away.  I’d like to book a hotel room and actually would provided I knew the kids would be okay.  I think they will be, but seeing is believing and I might as well be here and save money instead of wasting it on a hotel room. 

Lonely is a word that I can’t seem to shake.  I am finding myself more and more alone in this world.  I constantly think about plotting my demise but then I think about the kids.  That is the only thing keeping me going.  I’ve thought about having them all put down and then taking care of myself but that wouldn’t be fair to them, it would be selfish on my part.  I said I would make him proud and that is a promise I have to live up to. 

The pressure and problems at work do not help matters any.  It’s horrible to wake up each morning and know that I am the only human in the house.  Then I have to come home to an empty house as well.  I have gotten used to it but I am still not over him.  Nor do I think I ever will be.

It’s like the Chili’s commercial that plays once and a while… I want my baby back, my baby back.  They are talking about Ribs I am talking about a human.  I just don’t understand why things had to play out like they did.

Well I need to do some surfing and then it’s off to catch Suits.  Not too excited about tonight's episode but perhaps it will be better than what I am expecting.  Talk with you peeps again soon.