Almost out of time

Happy Sunday!  I got to bed late and didn’t want to get up as early as I normally do on the weekend.  I slept in an extra 1/2 hour and then got going.  It was a bit nippy out in the 40’s.  Got my usual routine of breakfast, groceries and gas done.  I was relaxing and just about to nod off for a nap when the phone rang.  A bush trimmer I called wanted to know if I would be around all day.  I said sure stop on by.  That propelled me to get moving with my other normal chores since I was no longer sleepy after being startled by the ring of a telephone. 

It was some 3 hours later when I was sitting on the floor with Marv just giving him the attention he was craving and letting him know how much I loved him.  When the darn phone rang again.  Bush trimmer was outside in my driveway.  I walked outside and took one look at him, fuck he was gorgeous.  I didn’t see a ring on his finger but there was plenty of muscle and a nice rear end.  We walked my property and I pointed out what I’d like for him to take care of.  I about feel over when he told me how much it would cost.  It’s just trimming/shaping bushes and they wanted almost $600 but out of the kindness of his heart since they would be in the area this week he could knock it down to $520..  I didn’t care if he fucked me just don’t try to rob me at the same time.  I kept it professional and we parted ways.  Lord my mouth was watering when I got back in the house.  The only thing that was a slight turn off was he asked me if there was anything pacific not specific that I wanted done and he said it twice.  I wanted to come back with nope nothing pacific but I do have some Atlantic things I need done.  I figured that would be rude and he probably wouldn’t either get nor appreciate my sense of humor. 

So it looks like the battle of the lawn/bushes is done.  I’m going to hire the guy that came by Friday.  I am prepared to pay his price but I am still going to try to negotiate with him on the lawn part.  The bush part I am just putting a limit of 3 hours and if he needs to go over that I am asking him to contact me.  I know that other calls will come in but I figure if they really wanted my business they would have jumped by now.  You snooze, you loose.  Besides that while I called several places I only need to hire 1 or at the most 2 if I was separating the jobs out. 

A friend of mine suggested that I contact lawn places for the lawn and bush places for the bushes.  Yeah well I don’t have his kind of money to just pay up.  He’s got 3 trees that he needs trimmed and he is going to shell out $1,500 I on the other hand can’t afford to do that.  I will say that owning a home isn’t a cheap venture and then add in animals and care for yourself and wow you have quite a bill. 

So back to the old bump and grind tomorrow.  I never do like going back after time off, mainly because you have to dig out of a hole and that can take days or sometimes an entire week.  Just when you finish up more comes along and while it passes time, it takes its tole on me as well.  This week will be extra interesting and stressful because of my boss’s visit but it’s only a couple days and then life will return to normal or so I hope.  I know the dealer will be calling about the parts to complete the alignment.  I am thinking that I will set it up for Friday and either work from home or just take the day off.  That kind of depends upon how I feel and what is permissible.   I know I can get away with driving short term as-is but eventually this needs to get fixed or I will have similar tire issues quicker and I don’t want that. 

Well time to do some last minute surfing and then upstairs to be with the kids and finish up some TV watching until it’s time to jump in bed.  I had 2 pieces of left over pizza and some mac & cheese for supper.  That’s kind of different.  I will have the same thing tomorrow night.  It was a pretty good combo. 

Here’s to what I hope is a great and swift moving week ahead!

Chill Saturday with Pie

Hello Beautiful People … It was an overcast and rainy day this morning when I woke up at 8a.  Da Gator had to have her breakfast and did a good job being a pest in waking me up.  With all my time off I thought for sure today was Sunday but alas I woke up and realize nope, silly it’s Saturday.  I fed Da Gator, Momma and Marv.  Then grabbed a soda, had a blueberry muffin and a banana for breakfast.  I got in my morning pills and then returned to my bedroom where I was joined slowly but surely by my 4 legged furry friends.  I decided to check out a couple things on Netflix, especially since the subscription price is increasing next month by $2.  It’s not much but at the same time I am not happy about it.  Anyway, I found 2 series that I started and finished.  The first one was about a gay guy who has Cerebral Palsy, I didn’t think I would like it but it’s a riot and I had more than one LOL moment.  The other one was about a Dominatrix who has a Gay Best Friend who joins her in her sessions as a helper of sorts.  It too had a couple LOL moments.  Both of these series just drew me in and I wanted more when they were done.  I hate endings, especially when I am binge watching. 

I had a Wood Wick Coconut Candle burning while I was watching TV and knew that eventually I would want a nap.  I got that in and it was nice to hear the crackle of the candle as I was falling asleep.  My furry friends were silent for a change.  I guess the cat had their tongue!

It was a little after 2p and I got going for the day.  Headed out for some pizza pie.  Yeah not the kind of pie you were probably thinking about.  Sausage, Mushroom, Pepperoni and Black Olive.  It was a large pan and very good.  The drive was nice and the sun came out and there was no rain.  That made me very happy. 

Once I got back in the area I stopped by and grabbed the mail, then picked up my sleeping medicine and then grabbed cat food.  Finally back home.  I should have gone to Target but I opted to skip it.  Might go tomorrow I will be close by and they are the only ones who carry the casserole by Stouffer’s that I like. 

It was time to pass out more food when I got home for the cats.  Then on to log my purchases so I knew how much money I had left to spend.  I got a message from my Doctor’s Office but it didn’t have drug names it was just a scolding that I need to do more to get tighter control of my blood sugar.  Yeah well fuck you I knew that.  I sure hope the doctor got my message.  If I don’t hear from him in a couple days I will use snail mail and send him a letter.  Short of seeing him in person that is really my only assurance that he will get my correspondence.  His office staff is just way too helpful for him. 

Took in an episode of Live PD with the kids.  Momma was all fidgety and she is worrying me.  She eats like a pick bird and is getting thinner by the day.  She also has sneezing fits.  I am wondering if she is sick or if it’s just allergies to the candles.  I’ve got my eye on her but she is doing a good job of giving me some comfort.  Cats are the masters of disguise they don’t want you to know anything is wrong up until the last second when it’s usually too late.  That’s why you have to watch them without them knowing it.

I got the laundry going and then decided on a whim to buy Office 2019.  It was a little bit of a struggle because I use the HUP or Home Use Program.  Microsoft is really wanting everyone to get Office 365 but even though they would give me a discount on a subscription and it was reasonable plus I’d get 1TB of One Drive Storage I opted to pass for now.  I had to scrounge around but found where I could get Office 2019 for $15.  That is more than reasonable.  I snagged that and had to login to my work email to get this process to complete.  I’ve got 184 messages that are waiting for my attention, that’s is my punishment for taking 2 days off.  Yeah well it’s all going to wait until Monday morning.  I’m not budging on that at all. 

I opted to order some checks for my late spouses account.  The account has both of our names but the bank has to know he passed away since I am the only one using the account. Instead of putting both of our names on checks I opted to just list mine.  The guy I am going to most likely hire to cut my grass insists on a local bank check and I figured now is just as good of a time to order checks.  That was $20 for a box but I got something I wanted rather than a generic check design from the bank.

So it’s been a spending Saturday and also a relaxing day.  I have calmed down from where I was last night.  That’s a good thing.  I am still highly concerned about my blood sugar.  My weakness or kryptonite is sugar, no matter in what form I love it.  Cake, Pie, Donut, Pastry, Ice Cream, Cookies, Muffins, etc.  I like that and dick and since I ain’t getting any dick right now it’s full on sugar.  I can cut back but I still have to have it.  It’s like life blood for me. 

Looking forward to Sunday to see my favorite waitress and hear how her job adventure is going, as well as having some good fast food and a bowl of chili.  Grocery shopping isn’t fun but a necessary evil and then it will be time to fill up my automobiles gas tank and then home for the rest of the day.  Where I will clean house and try to remain in a relaxed state until Monday morning when things go back to normal or should I say stressful.  However, with much work to do the time will pass quickly and it will be Monday evening in no time at all. 

So there you have it my day.  I am doing some web surfing and listening to the police scanner.  It’s been a hobby of mine for quite sometime and it’s nice being in the know.  I am also yawning pretty heavy so it won’t be long and it will be time for bed.  My furry friends will love that because they will get more attention.  It’s nice though when I decide to wind down for the day we all gather in my room.  Momma and Gator lay on my bed and Marv is beside me in the chair.  Everyone passes out pretty quick except for me.  Once I get groggy look out because that’s when it’s lights out.  The girls aren’t too happy but Gator usually sticks with me until I fall asleep then most of the time she leaves me.  She is not fun to sleep with because she is a short and fat girl it’s like trying to sleep with a bag of sand. 

I hope your Saturday was just as if not more enjoyable than mine.  Here’s to a great Sunday.  Hard to believe were rolling into the month of May this week.  Time does go by fast and speed varies on your age.  The older you are the faster it goes.  Cheers for now.  We will talk again soon. 

Yikes

My blood results came back and my A1C is the same as it was 3 months ago, despite a medication change.  I think it’s time to look at a different drug, I’m waiting to hear from the doc on some suggestions.  For some strange reason I can’t get a drug formulary but I can price individual medicines on-line and determine if there is coverage.  So I asked him to send me some suggestions of what he would like to change me to and I can check and see if there is coverage and if the medicine will be affordable.  Additionally, my liver enzymes are elevated.  I am very concerned and hope that we can find a workable solution to get the diabetes under control before something bad happens. 

Given the above I found a new eye doctor and scheduled an appointment on-line for next month  I’ll know in a couple days if that day works for them, if so I have to get my records sent over.  My eyes are one of my most important senses and diabetes can seriously fuck up your eyes, it’s no joke.    

I am dealing with stomach issues but I think that is probably mostly due to stress.  I treated myself tonight and went to Outback Steakhouse.  I had a cute waiter and I’m not too hip on subtle queues but I think he was flirting with me.  If my stomach wasn’t going nuts I was going to ask him out but opted to leave and make a mad dash home.

One of the many phone calls I made this morning paid off and I got someone out to give me a quote.  He’s a little higher but it’s within my price range for mowing.  The bush trimming part he said would be $30 per hour.  He is an older guy and works alone so who knows how long it would take him.  I think that might be excessive but I am waiting to see what prices I get from others.  I kind of really want to jump and hire him for the lawn but waiting I think is the smart move.  The grass isn’t going to up and leave, plus rain is in the forecast for everyday next week so it’s not like anyone could cut it if they wanted to, it will be far too soggy. 

It’s just 100% drama here and I am not happy at all.  Worried and hyper, it’s like life is on an out of control spiral.  I hope that things come together quickly or I might be the one having a nervous break down.  Stay tuned to see what happens. 

Sadly more rain

I got a message last night that my new lawn provider backed out.  They claim to have truck issues and are way behind.  I was told to feel free to hire someone else.  Fuck you, of course I am going to hire someone else. 

I was super angry about this and took some time but I fired back and called them out as liars.  They really bit off more than they could chew and I would have gotten a sweet deal if they would have actually done work.  All they have done is stall and delay for weeks.  So I can’t say that this is unexpected.  Motherfuckers to pull this shit after telling me for a month we have you taken care of is just uncalled for.  If I could spare the time and cause them some aggravation I would sue for breach of contract, I may not win but boy it would certainly make them think twice before they made any future commitments.  As it is I filed a complaint against them with Home Advisor, not sure that it will do any good but it’s some satisfaction for me. 

Rather than using a site like Home Advisor or Angie’s List I opted this time to just reach out to providers myself.  I have been shot down by a few of them telling me they are booked.  I am still waiting to hear back from a few companies.  I think that anyone I find will be overpriced because there is a desperation factor on my part.  I have reached out to tree trimming companies and am waiting for quotes on that.  Just when I thought all of this was behind me it’s back front & center.  I hope this time once I find a solution it stays in place and I am not faced with this problem again. 

It’s like every time I try to get up something comes along to knock me down.  I just want to be happy or at least not have any crisis to deal with.  Can my Fairy God Mother make that happen for me, pretty please? 

I’ve got an appointment in a bit to get my haircut that will help.  I just feel so much pressure right now and perhaps I am looking at things from the wrong point of view.  Here’s hoping things get better. 

Tire Thursday

Good Day and thanks for stopping by.  I got my tires installed today.  Cost wasn’t as high as the estimate and turns out they found damage.  The camber arm needs to be replaced.  This is what caused the tires to wear abnormally quick.  I think this is left over damage from my accident that just surfaced.  Either way it matters not because it’s covered 100% under warranty.  That’s the good news.  The bad news is that the parts aren’t in stock.  I will need to come back next week or shortly there after.  They will have my baby all day long and will provide a complimentary loaner car.  Should be a 1 day deal.  Then after that I should be free from having to visit the dealer for a while.  I got $275 credit coming from Michelin so the tires were around $400 total.  Not bad all things considered.  I have a smoother ride even though the alignment is probably off.  Once that is fixed I hope the tire issue is resolved and I don’t have any further issues.  Rubber is expensive!

Saw the doc and he told me about a new study that was just published in the New England Journal of Medicine about a drug Invokana that is used to treat Type II Diabetes.  It’s a remarkable study and it sounds like it will give me longer to live.  The bad news is not a lot of insurance company’s are covering it, despite the study.  I priced it and it’s $1,500 for 90 days supply or if I want to go retail it’s close to $600 per month.  The manufacturer offers assistance with the cost but there is no way I can front that kind of cash and wait to get reimbursed.  The doc isn’t interested in changing things right now but long term it’s probably where we are headed.  He gave me some eye drops to try for my chronic conjunctivitis they are less expensive than what the eye doctor prescribed.  I hope they work because they are more than affordable.  I got my blood drawn and hope that the results will be good.  I should know something by Monday for sure. 

In other news, no contact with my brother.  I suspect it will be radio silence for quite sometime.  However, I did some creeping on FB and found that they are engaged or so the bimbo’s status reflects.  That doesn’t mean they are getting married anytime fast.  If it’s true I do think that she will be on her very best behavior so she doesn’t loose her meal ticket.  Once they are married and she gets her name on the house, well that’s when I predict things will go south.  Maybe not right away but sometime after both of those events take place I think that is when things will fall apart.  That will cost him dearly because divorce attorneys aren’t cheap and in the end when you divide up property she will come out ahead because today she has nothing but when you get into community property she has everything to gain and nothing to loose.  Sadly I think that divorce will be the only thing that will open his eyes fully wide.  If they can make things work and both of them are happy well that’s great.  However, my brother said it best in that history repeats it’s self.  So regardless of marriage I think this whole thing will eventually fizzle out.  I am still beside myself on how fucking dumb he is but hormones over blood any day, because a stiff dick has no conscience.

Had dinner at Steak N Shake it was pretty good.  I’ll probably do some traveling tomorrow for food as well as knock out a couple chore stops [Sam's, target, etc.] as well.  Having extra time is nice but sadly it will all be over with way too soon.  I am kind of looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow if that actually happens as well as getting my haircut.  I want to look nice when the boss shows up next week.  I don’t look bad now but still nothing like a haircut to make you feel good.  The haircut store was booked solid today or so the app said.  Thankfully I have tomorrow.  Now I have to rustle up the trash and get it out to the curb, a fun chore.  Then I can relax with the beggars for the rest of the evening. 

Happy almost weekend!  Talk with you again soon. 

HAPPY EASTER

For me today is just another day.  Easter lost its luster with me after the passing of my spouse.  It was a few days after Easter when he passed.  Still I realize for the rest of the world depending upon your beliefs that this is a special day for many.  Especially young and innocent children who want candy.  My favorite is the jelly bean for this time of year.  My late spouse loved Peeps and I went out of my way to buy all of the unusual ones just for him.  They all tasted pretty much the same to me, marshmallow fluff and to me it’s horrible.  Different strokes for different folks.  In any case I hope that you and your family have a very happy Easter.

I woke up early, I hurt in places I didn’t think would bother me from yesterdays activities and the places I thought would bother me well they are just fine.  Nothing like a little subtle reminder that your not as young and agile as you used to be.  Plus it shows me that I am truly out of shape.  That’s okay in a few days I’ll be right as rain or so I hope. 

Took care of my work responsibility.  Got the kids fed.  Got dressed, took my pills and headed out the door.  Grabbed breakfast and it was pretty good.  Then filled up the tank on the vehicle and came home.  My 3 new candles are burning in various rooms of the house so it should smell really good in here in no time at all.  Changed the batteries in my Atomic Clock and continued the laundry.  I think it’s going to be a nice productive and semi-relaxing day.  It will also be a hot one with temperatures in the 80’s.  Mr. A/C will be churning away once it gets too hot for me to handle in here. 

I am exhausted but for some strange reason I don’t want to be idle.  I am going to force myself to be idle in a bit and take in some TV.  It will be good for the soul and hey I will probably get groggy enough to take in a nap.  It’s not a bad thing at all.

So new week ahead and only 3 working days.  My big day is Thursday.  Tires in the morning, which I hope works out well.  Doctor in the afternoon and probably someone will shove a needle in my arm.  Hopefully the numbers come back good.  I have tried to cut back on the sugar and the medicine dose has increased so hopefully it’s doing it’s job and I am not doing damage to any other organs.  After that I am a free man for a whole 3 days.  Friday will probably be a travel day if I am up to it, just not sure on where I will go.  Saturday & Sunday will be a normal weekend.  While I never really look forward to Monday’s it will be good to not be on-call.  So I can go back to turning my phone off when I am in bed and not have to worry about potentially being disturbed in my slumber. 

I hope you have a great week.  May is around the corner and before you know it summer will be in full swing.  That will be nice.  Hot boys/men with their shirts off and more for me to drool over and potentially have a car wreck while I day dream.  It’s almost happened a few times.  I saw a runner earlier this week and he was very fine.  Plus guys going to work will have on their tight fitting dress pants that show off their assets ah the boys of summer!  Really hoping that I can snag one of them for my very own.  I keep playing “the game” so odds are sooner or later I will meet someone, I just hope he’s perfect in all the right ways inside and out.  The search is exhausting but honestly I am doing really good for the cards that life has dealt me.  It still amazes me from time to time when I think about it that I made it through so much shit.  I never would have thought things would have turned out so well. 

Okay enough babbling.  You take good care of you and be kind to others.  I’ll chat with you again soon.  Here’s to the week ahead may it be a great one for all of us!

Sucky Saturday

Today capped off what was a horrible week for me.  I reached out to my brother by phone last night and he chose to let the call go to voice mail.  I left a message and even apologized, I asked him to return the call just to let me know that he was okay.  He chose to ignore me.  If I want something that isn’t anyone that is going to keep me from getting it.  I gave him space and time.  However, after I got home from the grocery store this morning his time was up.  I called the police and they did a welfare check on him.  Turns out he wasn’t home.  The cops did their research and got in touch with the bitch’s son that lives with him, who in turn provided the police with the cell phone number of his mom and said that my brother was with her.  They called me back and gave me the phone number.  I took it and then waited and waited.  I knew I would get a reaction.  Sure enough I got a very angry text from my brother because I got the police involved.  He said if you wanted to check on me then all you needed to do was reach out.  Well you dumb motherfucker I did that and you fucking ignored me.  So what else was I supposed to do.  I am certainly not dropping by.  I explained my actions and told him very politely that I did reach out.  Well he didn’t have a retort for that other than he was busy and couldn’t talk but he is fine.  They are officially back together because he is pussy whipped and weak.  Then about two hours later I got a read receipt that he picked up the email I sent him.  Now he has it in writing that I think he is doing the wrong thing and that he is on the express bus to hell with the final destination being death.  He also knows not to bother me when things go to shit and they will.  I mean he said it best himself, history repeats it’s self.  I don’t know why he would think she is any different now than what she was before.  I am truly disappointed in him but his life and how he choses to live it is out of my control. 

What I can’t seem to understand is why every time I do anything with family I wind up with the short end of the stick, not once and a while but all the fucking time.  This is the final straw and I am done with him.  No more advice, help or listening to him cry & bitch.  It’s clear by his actions that he really doesn’t care at all about me.  It’s always been about what I can do for him and what benefit he will get out of things.  He makes empty promises and expects me to cut him breaks because were family.  Well that ship has sailed.  I am a little disappointed in myself because I thought things would be different this time but deep down I knew he would go crawling back to her and I was just being used.  For 2 months he managed to prove me wrong.  His relationship is the same as the wife who goes back to the husband who has a drinking problem and beats her.  She thinks he will change and things aren’t so bad until he starts drinking.  Well that drink has power over him and he’s going back to it until he either dies or gets help.  He will beat her until eventually she winds up seriously injured or dead.  Misery loves company and they fucking deserve each other.  When he’s in jail, in the hospital or at the morgue it would be nice to know.  He’s not my problem or responsibility, nor has he ever been.   

My new grass guy showed up.  We chatted and I outlined what I wanted him to do.  He wanted to come back in 2 weeks and get it all done but I told him I need the bushes trimmed and the sticks picked up, it’s looking pretty run down and I don’t want to wait 2 weeks.  He asked to use a ladder but I told him I didn’t own one.  That is a complete and utter lie but if I give him something to use and he gets hurt or worse I am sure there is some liability on my part.  So for that reason I was like sorry can’t help you.  He says he will be back next week to take care of the bushes and sticks.  Then the following week to cut the grass.  Gosh I hope this works out now that the old guy has been fired and had the cops called on him for trespassing. 

To help pass some time and I guess give me a challenge for the day, I decided to change my cabin air filter.  There is something I never ever want to do again.  In my case I had to rip out part of the dash under the passenger side of the car.  Then take out a torx bolt and pull out the old filter.  The filter didn’t want to come out and the replacement was next to impossible to put back in.  It took me hours to do what a trained professional who is in better shape than me can probably do in the course of 20 minutes.  Funny thing is I thought oh my brother could probably help me.  I let that thought go.  I worked at it and finally got the job done.  I did injure my pinky finger on my right hand at the tip of the nail and on the side of my hand I got some sort of a fabric splinter.  It hurt like hell.  I went to take care of that not realizing about the tip of my finger and that I was dripping blood.  A couple band-aid and some antibiotic ointment and I was fine. 

A friend called and asked me to dinner.  We went to a Chinese place, it was okay but not the best.  Our meal was over with and we decided to walk around a local mall.  I didn’t realize that he wanted to walk every square inch, then stop in here and there and chat people up.  My lower back is killing me and my legs feel like wet noodles.  Tomorrow morning I know I am not going to feel well at all.  My shoulder and back are bothering me from the car repair and then my lower back and legs.  I guess it’s a good thing I got most everything that needed to be done over the weekend accomplished today.  It was a nice change of pace though.  Saw a few hot guys.  One we were talking with in a store and I was going to ask him out until he disclosed he was a smoker.  It’s great if that is your thing, it’s not my thing and it’s very much a deal breaker.  Still he was pretty cute.  I didn’t want to spend a dime while we were there but managed to come home with 3 Yankee Candles.  Thankfully we never made it to the Mont Blanc Store or I would have really been super poor.  There are certain things I can’t resist and candles and pens are up there.  I could have had some Godiva chocolate for free but passed it up.  I don’t need it, I did want it but that was early on in our stop and my will power was really strong.  We smelled a lot of cologne.  I was hoping to find the new scent that I am interested in but we didn’t come across it.  I also didn’t take my afternoon allergy pill so my nose was suffering a little bit. 

Hey there is also a full moon so maybe that explains all of the crazy and stressful week.  Oddly enough I figured I would get caught while we were out with a call.  I was close enough to the office that I would have just gone in but nope not one peep.  The cats are glad I am home but not happy that I am in the basement.  My eyes are getting heavy so I’ll be in front of the TV and in bed in no time flat.  Here’s hoping that next week goes much smoother than this week has gone.  This is the worst it’s been in sometime and I know a little rain must fall into each of our lives. 

Emotional Week - Brother Trouble

Wednesday was not the greatest day for me.  I called my brother to vent and it took for what felt like forever for him to answer the phone.  He sounded kind of like I woke him up.  I asked him what was new.  He said not much, just got released from the hospital.  I asked what’s going on.  He casually said he had a nervous break down.  I said huh?  He said you know Situational Awareness Depression (SAD).  Then he muttered that the bimbo was with him.  I paused and said I think we have a bad connection, repeat what you just said.  He said the bimbo was with him.  That threw me into an instant rage.  Without thought I screamed into the phone, that’s fine were done and I hung up on him.  Was that the best thing to do?  Probably not, it didn’t help me and I’m sure it did no good for him. 

You have to be fucking kidding me that you called that bitch who you threw out 2 months ago, instead of me because you went to the hospital.  What the fuck is wrong with you?  I was hurt and mad at the same time as well as caught off guard with what was not a pleasant surprise.  He was doing so well and now he’s back to square one again.  Fuck! 

That old saying about leading a horse to water but not being able to make it drink, applies to this situation.  I have been giving him solid advice for months and so have his friends.  He needs to drop her like a hot potato and the same for her family, move on.  It’s not fun, it’s not going to be pain free and yes you will miss her.  But you will regain your sanity and cam move on with your life.  He had what he describes as a drama free zone for 2 months and was making what seemed on the surface as positive progress.  He’s got depression folks, he didn’t have a nervous breakdown that is the cunt’s way of bringing more drama than the situation needs. 

Needless to say I haven’t spoken with my brother since I hung up on him.  Now I desperately want to talk with him since some time has passed.  I sent him a couple emails yesterday, it explains why I reacted the way I did.  However, it’s not an apology.  He’s drug me along for a ride on this nutty bus that is his life, asked for my advice and then threw it all in the shitter.  So he wasted my time.  I’m not talking an hour here or there.  I am talking hours as in 3 to 4 each time we would talk and it was frequent.  I feel that I have a right to be pissed off and disappointed in him.  However, feelings aside at the end of the day were still related and I want to make sure he is okay.  If he is going back with her then we are done and I can’t give him any more advice.  It doesn’t mean we can’t talk but I can’t afford to get involved in the mess that is his life.  I want to call but I kind of think that he may have blocked me, I could be wrong and won’t know until I give it a try.  The longer time passes with no response to my email the more desperate I get.  I’ve decided the breaking point is Saturday.  If I don’t have a response then I will try calling him.  I’d like to move past this sooner rather than later. 

I have a bad feeling about things.  I don’t know that he will bounce back from this.  I mean for 2 months in 46 years was the 1st time he was ever on his own and by himself since birth.  Take that in for a second.  It’s scary and I understand that.  However, it’s not an insurmountable circumstance to overcome.  You lean on family and friends for help, plus you keep yourself busy.  It worked for 2 months and then fell apart.  Funny thing is that over the weekend he told me that the last two weeks he has slept the best in years.  He has the whole insomnia thing as well but it’s way worse than mine.  He goes night after night with no sleep, where as I might have a night or two of interrupted sleep.  We are 2 different people but have a lot in common due to our blood relationship.  It’s also natural for me being his big brother to want to protect him.  However, I can’t protect him from himself. 

This has by far been the biggest issue I have dealt with this week.  If you have any thoughts or advice, I’d love to hear them.  Part of me wants to run away and part of me wants to run to him.  I am conflicted but also still seething with a bit of rage. 

On a different note, I’ve been hearing this noise ever since my tires were rotated.  I did my own research and it sounded more and more like a tire off balance.  I went back to the dealer on Wednesday afternoon.  They held me hostage in a hot box (waiting room with no ac) for a couple hours before I learned anything.  They decided to rotate the tires again back to the way they were.  So the new tires I got last year are now in the front and the OEM bad tires are in the back.  Bottom line is I need 2 new tires due to the wear pattern.  I just turned 30,000 miles this morning folks.  The tires come with a 55 thousand mile warranty.  I think I have a warranty claim.  Wow trying to get that pushed through was difficult.  Finally with some complaining to the manufacturer they will take a warranty claim from my dealer.  I should get some credit so that I don’t have to pay full price for new tires.  Which by the way the whole package for 2 tires is $800.  That is some expensive rubber.  Condoms are way cheaper why can’t I drive on them?  I can pay the money but the point is I shouldn’t have to.  Between the tire manufacturer and the dealer they are both trying to screw me over.  I won’t take it without a fight.  I’ve done nothing wrong and kept up with maintenance, making sure the pressure was right and rotation.  I think I should get a break here.  I don’t mind shouldering part of the cost but the full thing, not without a fight. I have an appointment scheduled for next Thursday morning.  They will hold me hostage for 2 to 3 hours.  As long as I don’t miss my doctors appointment in the afternoon I am fine with waiting.  Not exactly how I want to spend my day off but it’s kind of par for the course.  Doctor & Car, usually they are a day apart and the most frequent reason for me taking my time. 

Then there is my lawn.  So I sent a cease and desist letter and got a signed receipt for delivery.  Then I come home on Wednesday and find that the dummy cut it again.  So I talked with an attorney and was encouraged to engage Law Enforcement.  So I went to the police station and they made a phone call, problem solved.  I shouldn’t hear from him ever again and they will stop cutting.  This was an accident that happened from habit.  The new guy is supposed to show up today and I’ll bet you he will be surprised.  The bushes still need to be trimmed and the sticks are still in the yard and need to be disposed of.  So I saw no point in calling him to forewarn him because like last time he would just put it off for another 2 weeks.  I want the work done and I want to know that I can count on him.  So we shall see. 

Outside of that all is well.  Next week will be a 3 day work week for me.  You know my plans for Thursday.  Friday right now is wide open.  Not sure what I will do but taking a drive for some food sounds rather appealing, especially since I will have new tires.  We shall see how poor I am and that will probably dictate my Friday. 

Looking forward to going home tonight.  Frozen Lasagna for supper and a nice relaxing evening with the kids.  Then up early on Saturday and off to the grocery store.  I will most likely be holed up the entire day on Sunday.  I have to get up early because of server patching but outside of that I’ve got nothing going. 

Happy Friday, thanks for reading my troubles and for your visit.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Average Sunday

Today was a call me day or something.  Out of the blue I got a call from a friend and then from my brother.  I was on the phone all afternoon.  My brother was the longest talker of all.  He likes to repeat himself.  The big news is that his ex’s son that lives with him is going to be a father.  The kid is in his early 20’s and really freaking out about becoming a dad, he seems to think that his life is over with.  I’ve heard other people tell me that kids are dream crushers.  The thing is that if you want kids then you have to be prepared to have them.  If the circumstances aren’t right then you should take the necessary precautions so that doesn’t happen. 

Funny thing is that I can “get fixed” or sterilized for free but to reverse it that would be a burden to me.  My brother told me that he doesn’t want to have kids.  I said oh there goes my one and only shot to be an uncle. 

Oddly enough my brother still has all of his wisdom teeth.  You’d think that he would be really smart but that isn’t the case.  In any event one of them has decay and he opted to have it filled but it’s not working out.  The tooth needs to come out but he keeps on saying he has no one to take him for surgery.  He also keeps thinking that your wisdom teeth have to be cut out.  I explained to him unless they aren’t fully erupted that they get extracted like any other tooth.  It’s just that they are in an odd place so your dentist will usually refer you to an oral surgeon, even though most of the time they are fully capable of pulling the tooth on their own.  I had 1 of mine pulled by a dentist who had late hours and it was an emergency.  The other 3 were removed by an oral surgeon on two different trips.  My best advice is, it sucks but have them all pulled at once and your done.  If you don’t want to do that then at least have one side pulled at once, let that heal and then have the second side done.  Either way chances are pretty great you will be out of commission for a couple days and eating will be a chore but the sooner it’s done the sooner it’s over with.  I figured my life was going to end over my wisdom teeth and well I’m still here and still kicking.  Plus he could ask me to take him but he hasn’t done that, instead he tried to make me feel guilty and cajole me into volunteering myself but that didn’t happen.  Might have worked when I was younger but not today. 

The other great revelation is after 47 years of walking the earth he is finally living on his own, doing what he wants and not worrying about other people.  The problem is his smoking has increased and his eating has decreased.  He said he needs to gain weight because w/o a belt his pants fall down.  I told him I wear a belt and my pants still fall down.  I’d happily give him 20 pounds of my fat if I could.  His metabolizm is on fire and that’s always been the case with him.  Smoking doesn’t help but I told him to quit smoking and start eating more meat – it’s all about protein and well add some ice cream, cake and pie as well.  It won’t kill you and who knows maybe you’ll actually enjoy it.

My friend that called wanted to tell me he got pulled over for expired tags.  He was just beside himself that this slipped through the cracks.  I told him that he’s been going 100 mph non-stop for a long time and that this was bound to happen.  I told him not to beat himself up over it, just renew the plates and life will go on.  He’s taking care of this tomorrow.  I asked him so how does one get my on expired plates?  His response was drive on expired plates but limit where your going.

Those phone calls gobbled up my afternoon and now evening is here and it’s almost time for bed.  Not like I had much to do but it would have been nice to have the time to myself.  Ah well now to eat some ice cream and prepare to wind down for the day.  My air filter should be here when I get home so hopefully Monday isn’t too bad and I can put it in tomorrow night.

Here’s hoping it’s a great and quiet week ahead!

Maintenance is a good thing

From Spring back to Winter.  We had a frost advisory in effect over night and I had to turn the furnace back on.  Goofy weather, I hate flip flopping temperatures because you never know what you will be comfortable wearing and it seems to make a lot of people sick.

As per usual I spent the day holed up in the house.  I was exhausted from the past week and really just didn’t want to do anything.  I talked myself into going out for Chinese food.  I drove all the way there and of course just like last time they were fucking closed.  I guess I won’t be getting any Chinese food anytime soon.  I drove back towards home and stopped in a local Mexican place I like.  I had bad service but the food was good.  The place was started to get crowded about the time I was finished, there were so many people in such a tight space I had to leave and couldn’t do it fast enough. 

Once I was out, I grabbed the mail and then headed home.  Fed the children [the children are my cats] and then went back out for cat food.  The store wasn’t well stocked like it usually is, not sure if I would have had better luck coming earlier in the day, it’s just a crap shoot you never know how things will be until you walk in the door.  So the kids are happy and thought they deserved a 2nd supper when I came home but that didn’t happen.  They got 3 meals today and I barley had 1. 

It was nice to relax and not think about anything in particular, I did a lot of day dreaming which is always fun.  I saw a Def Leppard concert when they were in Detroit and it was on AXS.  I had recorded it within the the past couple days.  I don’t know all of their music but am familiar with the hits.  What I couldn’t figure out is the guitars seemed to change like they had an overlay on them.  One was a paint splatter color for 1 song.  The next song it was bright blue.  Neat but I’d like to know how they did that. 

Got in time with Gator and time with Marvin.  Momma’s time is coming.  Everyone seems to be doing okay just starved for attention they can’t get enough of me.  That makes me feel good because they seem to be the only ones that can’t get enough of me. 

I’ve been turning my cell phone off at night and it’s nice going to bed knowing that I won’t get woken up.  I keep on thinking that something bad will happen with a friend or my brother and someone will need to reach out to me but I won’t be around to answer the call.  So it’s semi-nerve wracking.  However, I have to do what is best for me.  I at least unforwarded my home phone so I know that if my brother needed me he would be able to reach me.  Friends also have the number but these days the hip thing is to reach people on their cell phones.  Speaking of which I did look at up grading but the cost is sky high.  I get that it’s a computer in my pocket but I don’t get why the price tag is as high as it is.  I miss the days of carrier subsidized phones. 

Talking about new, I looked and seriously considered trading vehicles within the next couple weeks.  I did the math tonight and it’s in my best interest to keep what I have and be happy, at least for now.  Maybe when it comes to be end of season things may be better but I kind of doubt it.  The part that kills me is my ride is valued at $25,390 and of course I owe more than that.  So there would be a carry over on top of a new vehicle.  Not having exact numbers but I figured that if I traded and got the trade value, plus around $500 for the extended warranty I took out back, figure in the cost of a new ride along with the balance my payments would be close if not slightly above where they are now.  That is based on a similar interest rate and term.  Now I am sure that in reality if this all played out it could be a close call.  I looked at SUV’s of equal and lesser value.  The funny thing is once you move into the Luxury line, you don’t ever want to go back to the cheap line.  Vehicles are down right expensive and the mark up is incredible, but that is life.  While were on the subject of automobiles, I took a look at my air filter tonight.  The thing was filthy dirty.  There was even a leaf trapped in it.  It’s very clear no one ever checked it because it’s beyond ready to be replaced.  I dusted off what I could and put it back in.  Then went to Amazon and ordered a replacement.  I opted to buy a cabin air filter as well total cost was $29.  Considering I am saving the labor not bad, plus it should save me on fuel and perhaps make my baby run a little better, not that I have any complaints about performance.  I should have them both by Tuesday night.  Kind of depends upon how I feel as to when I tackle the job of replacement. 

Speaking of money I am out of it.  A refill comes on Monday.  Thankfully 1 of my banks credited the deposit early so I don’t have to put my groceries on credit tomorrow.  I like paying cash/debit for small things instead of wracking up charges and then having a large bill roll in.  It’s just more freeing and rewarding.  However, too much up front cash and you will wind up with out any money quickly which is how I got into the predicament I am in now.  I will get to schedule bill payments tomorrow and then Monday I will have money and by Tuesday a good portion of it will be gone.  Ah there we got again, that’s life!

Well it’s getting late and time to climb upstairs, brush my teeth, take my pills and call it a night.  Watch some Live PD or perhaps something on Netflix until I manage to fall asleep.  Rain is in the forecast for tomorrow as long as I can do my shopping in dry weather I will have no complaints.  I will start the morning by wishing my favorite waitress good luck as she starts a new job on Monday in the office world.  She will still work Sundays for a bit until she knows that things are going to work out for her.  I have a feeling that won’t be for long and she will dump the waitress gig and move full time into the office.  I have no idea what she makes now but she told me what she is getting to start and it’s not bad but it’s also not a lot.  I hope all turns out well for her because she deserves it. 

I hope you all had a great Saturday.  Perhaps I will pop back in tomorrow with some words of wisdom.  If not know that this will be my on-call week and I will be despising every moment of it and can’t wait until it’s over.  Outside of that it’s just another week in the month of April.  Cheers for now. 

Middle O Week

Oh happy day to you and welcome!  1/2 way through the week and I am so looking forward to the weekend already. 

Sunday night it was really humid in the house.  I went to turn on the AC and the compressor fan didn’t want to spin.  I suffered it out.  Monday night I got out a long screwdriver [in case your mind is in the gutter this isn’t a reference to anything phallic] and went to see if I could get the fan blades to turn while the power was off.  They were frozen solid.  I figured the motor seized up and it was time to call for help.  I got the screw driver in one last time and gave a huge push, viola they spin.  I went inside and kicked on the AC and presto changeo I had AC.  I haven’t checked it since but I sure hope I am out of the woods.  Repairs in general no matter where they occur tend to be bummers and cash drainers, I don’t need that. 

Monday night on the way home the TPMS I installed was kicking off high pressure alerts on both of my front tires.  Not much you can do about that when your doing 70 to 80 mph down the highway on the way home.  Considering my good fortune with the AC I opted to address this.  I worked 1 side of the vehicle at one time.  Let out pressure and checked manually with a gauge until it was just below 30 pounds.  Then slowly inflated until I reached optimal pressure of 35 pounds.  I didn’t take into consideration the tires were hot and that when they cool the pressure would change, so they are a little low but it’s close enough for now.  Viola another problem vanished.  

Tuesday wasn’t a bad day at all, a little slow in the afternoon but not dead.  I only had to pass a couple hours with nothing to do so I watched some Chiropractic videos.  I was wishing someone was working on my back, even a massage would feel good.  Headed home and had a nice evening with the kids watching TV.  The house was a little humid but not uncomfortable so we just toughed it out with a fan on low all was well.

Wednesday 2am I was sound asleep having a good ol’ time in dreamland that is until the fucking phone rang.  I was startled awake and made it to answer the phone.  It was our monitoring service from work, there was an urgent issue and the other 2 clowns I work with in the call tree decided not to answer their phones so it rolled to me, even though I am not on-call.  This is yet another example of how stupid can’t do his fucking job, but they continue to reward bad behavior by continuing his employment.  Boggles the mind!  This is the 2nd time something like this has happened and it’s fucking annoying.  After I got off the phone, I was livid.  Not a great way to start the day.  My shoulder was also killing me.  I still managed to make it to my computer and get logged in.  The cat choir started preforming in objecting to me disturbing them, I told them how do you think I feel I don’t want to be awake right now.  I got logged in and started to research the issue, reached out to my boss and woke his ass up.  That’s always fun because it’s just funny to wake him up.  He kept saying yeah over and over again.  You could tell he was sleeping.  I wanted to say hey how’s it going what are you up to?  However, I just jumped into business mode and told him what was going on.  I told him my findings based on research I did before I called.  I wanted him to know that I didn’t throw up my hands to toss him a hot potato.  He had me change the ticket so that if there were further alerts he would get them.  Then I climbed back into bed.  Gator came to comfort me.  Getting back to sleep was pointless – I had 3 hours to go and they just ticked by minute by minute.  I think I maybe slept for an hour.  As it became time to wake up I decided then and there I was working from home today.  Got up, fed the kids and back to bed for a little bit.  It’s been busy all morning long but I got a break now that it’s 3p.  Nothing else going on so why not update the blog. 

It’s nice working from home.  I have to listen to Marv chirp a little bit.  He forgot I was here again this afternoon when I went up for lunch but he was very happy I was here.  Gator started chirping for lunch at 11a but I was on a conference call.  I told my boss that’s what I hate about staying home no matter what they are entitled to lunch.  He laughed and laughed at me.  Hey their food is cheaper than a gallon of gas so I actually have the last laugh.  It’s better when it’s quitting time because there is no long commute home, just run up the stairs and presto were all set. 

While I am not supposed to I will be putting my phone in Airplane mode overnight to ensure that I don’t get woken up again because someone didn’t want to do their job.  When I am on-call next week and again in the future I won’t do this but otherwise fuck it, if they can ignore alerts so can I.  Besides that no one I work with suffers from chronic insomnia like me.  You can’t just wake me up and expect me to be able to go back to bed, it’s a whole different animal and since I have this special benefit to be able to work from home, why not use it.  Better than using a day of PTO. 

Here’s hoping that Thursday & Friday are good days for you and for me as well.  Now back to the daily grind to see what’s churning.  Take care and be well. 

Sunday

Oh what a day!  I’ve been busy working on cleaning the car, putting out my medicine [I hate that task], opening my Amazon order, cleaning the house, mopping floors and oh yeah I fit in a nap before I started.  Now I am ready for another nap. 

I looked at my air filter compartment, I didn’t take anything apart but just observed and I can say based on the fact the dust wasn’t disturbed that no one bothered to check my air filter.  I am considering tackling this job on my own, it will save me money plus I’ll know that the job has been done.  While I am at it I might as well go after the cabin air filter as well.  It will be a few weeks and will depend largely on my finances.  I did the math and unless I calculated wrong  my next oil change won’t be due until September.  That would be about the time I would be ready to trade.  While the thought is on my mind I can’t say for certain if I will or won’t trade, just have to wait and see how things are going. 

I am just about to pay off my iPhone 7 and went looking based on model and features.  The phone I want next is the XS Max but it’s so expensive.  Do I need another phone now?  No is the simple answer to that question.  However, the 7 is a bit dated.  I am not crazy about no home button and still am thinking of getting an 8 plus, it’s 1 model year newer but not sure.  I’d need a new Mophie case, screen protector and then a belt clip case and that’s where they get you.  Those items aren’t cheap.  I kind of think it’s smarter to just wait until this phone is paid for, bank the $25 a month that my bill will drop and wait a bit longer.  You know something even newer will be out.  I almost took the plunge this weekend but it has to feel right.  I don’t like financial commitments like leases, terms, contracts, etc.  However, they are a necessary evil that can’t be avoided in life.  That is unless you have a boat load of cash!

I listen to a computer call in show on the weekend to hear other peoples technology problems.  It can be useful to me in my job and it’s entertainment.  This lady called in today and she is legally blind.  Every computer she touches it’s like there is an electro magnetic field and they all stop working for her.  Things are so bad she said that at work they ban her from using a computer, she has to write things down.  Not exactly sure how she does that since she can’t see but whatever.  She could be our secret weapon!  I do feel sorry for her, there has to be something else at play.  She doesn’t have any type of medical implant.  At one of my former jobs, there was a sales guy and strange things would happen to him from time to time.  We called him Electro Magnetic Man.  One time he was trying to exit the parking garage at the airport, he put in his ticket and then the power went out for the entire garage.  He went through several computers because they would just stop working for him.  The lady sounds like she has something going on.  The guy I used to work with I think just suffered from the occasional bad luck. 

Spent all but $25 in my checking account, that’s the lowest balance I have had in a very long time.  So I opted to transfer some money from savings.  Part of me keeps thinking that Monday is payday but that isn’t until next Monday. 

Windows are all open here, fresh air and pollen is flowing.  It’s slightly humid and I’m considering running the AC this evening just for a short while to cool things off.  The low temps are in the 40’s so things cool off but then they warm back up.  Were going to have nice weather for the first part of the week but towards the end the cold returns for a bit.  I have a few short sleeve shirts in the wash now.  I love them because they aren’t bulky like a long sleeve plus if I desire I can show off a bracelet.  I love wearing them but taking them off can be hellish. 

Supper will be my favorite Stouffer’s casserole of noodles, broccoli, chicken, cheddar cheese topped with breadcrumbs.  I can make that in the microwave so I don’t heat up the entire house.  I’ll eat 1/2 and then refrigerate the rest.  Left over pizza on Monday night, followed by the casserole on Tuesday and Wednesday (unless I get super hungry) I can have the final left over pizza.  No TV dinners until Thursday and that makes me happy. 

I’m kind of wondering how much email and extra work is waiting for me but it’s going to be a complete surprise.  I won’t know until I log in when I am sitting at my desk.  Right now I’ll venture a guess and say 147 messages is what I have.  Of that 75 are junk, requiring no action and can be deleted.  I do get a lot of junk mail.  People like to make sure you are aware.  My boss complains that I send him a lot of email and I tell him you send me a fair amount as well.  What I really won’t like is catching up on my monitoring task.  I have a few people that I have been asked to watch their activity and I have to audit several systems to make sure they are all on the straight and narrow.  It’s an interesting part of my job but one that I would rather avoid  There is also the task of my monthly report which I know I put on my calendar to work on in the afternoon on Monday but depending upon what’s going on that might need to be pushed out.  As long as the report goes out within the next couple weeks I’ll be okay.  I do have to depend upon others for their contributions so it’s not all on me, I’m just the one who complies it and gets it sent out the door. 

So there you have it.  I’ll be climbing the steps in a bit to get ready to try out that new razor and to enjoy what I hope is a relaxing shower.  My shoulders are so tight I think I need a masseuse to rub me down every day of the week.  It’s not a bad idea but impractical from a cost perspective.  

Here’s hoping the week ahead is kind to each of us, that something good happens more than one time this week and that the sun shines brightly both during the day and in each of our lives.  Wow, it’s April already!

Saturday feels like a Sunday

I had a dream last night that today was Sunday.  I woke up in the middle of the night for a brief moment and thought it was Sunday.  Got up this morning and had to check to make sure it in fact was Saturday.  I was happy once I confirmed that. 

It’s been a nice day and slightly productive as well.  Got breakfast out, picked up cat litter, grabbed the mail, tried to get in a nap, watched TV spent time with Marv, Cleaned my glasses and jewelry, grabbed supper, got fuel injection cleaner, picked up cat food and loaded the dish washer. 

Saw a hottie that used to work at the cat food store, ran into him at Target.  Man he looks really good.  I didn’t say anything to him but we did make eye contact.   While I was there I thought I would fall for some hype and grabbed a new Gillette Razor for Sensitive Skin.  We shall how that shakes out tomorrow. 

Last night I did a good amount of damage by placing an Amazon order which will be arriving tomorrow.  It’s like magic my credit cards had low to no balances and presto they all have balances now.  It was nice being good but there are things I need and want so might as well be happy. 

Watched a couple videos on You Tube about changing the air filters in my vehicle.  Looks simple enough but I opted not to do anything right now.  I know more about the process since I watched the videos.  I don’t want to screw anything up and while this is a simple task, I am the first to admit I am not mechanically inclined.  That’s probably why I am not a mechanic. 

So if you have been watching the news here in the US there is a movement called Real ID, if you don’t have one of these by late 2020 you won’t be able to fly, get in/on certain government buildings.  You have to have a bunch of documentation and it can be added to your drivers license provided your state is issuing Real ID’s.  The other option is to get a passport.  I was at the post office and talked to them about it.  A Passport is good for 10 years and while it costs more than a drivers license it sounds like something that I want to get.  It will also allow me into Canada if I do ever decide to go.  That is about all of the foreign travel I have the aspiration to do.  But who knows I could meet the man of my dreams and he could have a travel bug and then I’d need this.  I mean anything is possible. 

I am honestly kind of bored right now.  That is usually when I get myself into trouble by starting a project or doing something I shouldn’t or eating something I shouldn’t.  It’s tough being good all the time. 

Very nice day today here, this would have been the day to travel for pizza.  Sun was out and it was in the 70’s.  Silly me I went yesterday when it was cool and cloudy.  Hey I still have left overs and that’s something to look forward to.  I just have to resist eating it now so that I have it when I planned for.

I looked ahead on the calendar and Monday it will mark the 1 year anniversary of losing Bear aka Big Boy.  I can’t believe it’s been an entire year already.  That went by way too fast.  I still miss him like crazy.  I have the Amazon and One Drive apps on my phone and they both offer the ability to look back at photos from years ago on this day.  I have been reliving memories ever since I installed them which was some time ago.  I get to see photos of all of the kids and Bear & Ruth show up frequently.  Kind of sad but it also makes me think about the good times we had and their personalities which were grossly different.  Bear was a ham and laid back, Ruth was a bitch if you tried to touch her unless it was on her terms.  Still I enjoyed both of them.  I read an article yesterday on Facebook that talked about LGBT People taking pet loss harder than the average person.  Yeah I get that, it’s probably because we can’t produce children of our own and a dog or cat is the closest thing we will have to a child.  I mean in my case I thought I might get to be an uncle but that’s not going to happen.  I don’t believe my brother wants kids.  It’s an awesome responsibility for those that decide to take it on, but like cats and dogs it’s not for everyone. 

Well off to try to stay out of trouble and take in some TV and probably some porn. 

Pizza Pie

Friday was great, except for the waking up early part.  Like a work day I didn’t want to get out of bed but knew I had to. 

Got to the dealer and learned that my favorite service person retired.  He looked out for me and made sure that I got special pricing and didn’t get fucked over with unneeded service.  No sooner than I learned of his retirement they were trying to fuck me by offering me a fuel induction service for $150 and it was just because I have 30 thousand miles on my vehicle.  I almost bit but decided to decline because of the age of my vehicle and the mileage. 

I went to the waiting room and whipped out my phone, did a quick google search and learned that unless your having problems with gas mileage, idle or overall performance that you shouldn’t get this done.  If it’s offered as a preventative measure.  The chemicals cost around $10 and this is a great revenue maker for about an hours worth of work.  So I was happy to see that I made the right call.  If this would have been offered in follow up to diagnosing a problem then it’s something you should do.  Now it looks like I have to be cautious. 

The odd thing about service this time is that at 30 thousand miles the air filter is recommended to be changed.  My air filter has never been changed and I am starting to wonder if it ever will be.  Same thing with the cabin air filter.  I’ll say something next time for sure.  I got away with an average $43 and I was happy about that. 

I grabbed the mail, then headed to the haircut store.  Walked out looking more like myself but it’s kind of a culture shock when I look in the mirror.  My hair was so long and now it’s so short.  Ah well it’s will grow back.  Then I came home and finished watching a Fleetwood Mac concert, drank a soda, spent time with the furry family and took a nap. 

When I woke up about an hour later I had to pass out lunch.  Little fuckers were hounding me to death.  Then I watched a program Simply Red and their albums.  It was interesting.  Then I went out for pizza.  It was a nice hour trip each way and that was good.  I spent too much money because I opted for desert.  The place was empty.  A cute guy walked in and ordered a beer, said he was there to watch the game and that some friends would be joining him.  He was very much good looking, I wanted to chat him up but opted not to.  Took my leftover pizza and horny self to the car and drove back home. 

When I arrived I was shocked to find that my grass was cut.  I called my new guy and he said he didn’t cut it.  So we agreed that he would start service in 2 weeks on a Friday.  I had to write a cease and desist letter to send to my old grass guy because he just arbitrarily cut it.  We normally have a contract and talk before he does work, this year wasn’t the case because I was firing him.  Now I have to put it in writing because he didn’t get the hint.  I don’t plan on paying him either but it sure was a nice gesture. 

Now I am going to watch more TV and spend the rest of the evening with the furry family.  Then off to bed.  It was nice just having a day where I could do anything that I felt like and I still have the rest of my weekend left.  I’ve got some shopping to do tomorrow.  I was planning on sleeping in but looks like I have to get up at a decent hour in order to make it to the post office since I have a certified letter to mail.  I just hate being the bad guy and delivering bad news but if I don’t say something this will quickly get out of hand and I will have a bigger mess on my hands.  Lord knows I don’t need that. 

I hope you have a great weekend.  We will no doubt talk again soon. 

6 Years Ago Today

My world was forever changed 6 years ago today.  I lost my spouse/partner/husband/lifetime companion.  As I look back today so much has changed in 6 years but so much has also remained the same.  While it’s been 6 years it still some how manages to feel just like yesterday, fresh as a sunset. 

For those of you who don’t know, we were together for over 20 plus years.  It’s a long time but it’s also a short time.  He suffered a 2nd stroke on the night of April 2nd and this was massive.  There was the potential that he could have pushed through this and survived but his ultimate fear would have come true in that he would have been locked in.  Instead my greatest fear came true and I lost him.  That is to say he would have been in a body that was non-functional.  No motor skills, wouldn’t be able to talk, walk, feed himself, etc.  It helped that years before this would all come into play that we had frequent talks about what if and we also had legal documents drawn up so one could take care of the other.  While his paperwork left the ultimate decision up to me and I could have been selfish and kept him alive, I knew his wishes and it sounded like there would be no real quality of life left, he would have had to be in a long term care facility.  So I kept true to his whishes and removed life support in the afternoon.  It was estimated that he would pass within an hour but he was tough until the end and it took several hours.  My only regret is leaving him and not being there, while I didn’t want to watch him suffer or die I think it would have prevented the regret I have today.  I don’t know that it would have been quite as gruesome as I think it would have been. 

A few people told me that I would regret my decision to let him go and that I would feel guilty.  However, that never happened.  I was at peace with my decision mostly because we talked about it in advance.  It’s uncomfortable but it’s a conversation that everyone needs to have with someone that will be left behind.  In my case today I have paperwork that appoints a friend and there is absolutely no doubt or wiggle room, if my quality of life is gone then I am ready to check out. 

I know that on average people don’t want to hear me recite the pain and anguish that I have experienced.  It’s a far greater pain than anything I have ever gone through and unless you personally have lost a spouse, you simply have no idea what it’s like.  Frankly I hope no one ever loses their spouse but death sadly is a part of life.

Despite the fact that he was in a coma I had a last conversation with him.  I believe that he heard me and he knew what was coming.  The toughest thing that I could do was walk away from his hospital bed for the last time.  I did make him a promise that I would make him proud each and every day that I was alive.  I have done a great job in my opinion of keeping that promise. 

It’s a somber day for me but I am getting better at making the best of it.  Part of that effort is talking about it.  He’s still very much alive and always will be in my heart, until my heart beats for the very last time.  I miss him more than I can articulate in words.  My hope is that he is resting in peace.  I pause and remember him more today on the anniversary of his death than at any other time of the year.  Note that it’s only a pause, left – right – left, I keep on moving forward.  This day is a reminder for me that life is very precious and it can be gone in an instant, none of us are promised tomorrow.

DVR Issue

I really thought it was odd that I had no scheduled recordings.  Looking on my social media shows that I watch were talking about last nights episode or what’s coming up on this weeks show.  So I dug into things yesterday with some Google searching. 

The only only change I made was to stop the recurring recording of the repeats of The Big Bang Theory.  Oddly enough that must have coincided and/or cause a problem with the TV guide data not refreshing properly. 

I did a reset on the DVR last night to force a guide update, it took three resets to get this to resolve.  I had to reboot my Residential Gateway a total of two times.  Then when I gave up and called for support as soon as I got a live person on the phone, magically everything started working again.  However, I still had no scheduled recordings. 

This is rather odd but I resolved it by touching each series that I record.  I had to tell it to record new & repeat shows instead of new only.  Save it and then change it back to new only.  I also took time to delete the outdated series/shows that have ben cancelled so that helped clean things up.  It was a painful process and this consumed the bulk of my evening, which I had already anticipated. 

Now I am keeping a watchful eye on it to make sure that this is truly fixed.  If problems start up again I’ll call back and request a replacement DVR.  Hopefully, though fingers crossed I will not have to. 

No this was not April Fools but I wish it was, unless it’s AT&T’s idea of an April Fools Joke.