Saturday

I heard the news on Friday that Season 2 of Orange is the new Black is on Netflix.  I have watched the 2nd season and as usual am ready for more.  Sort of the case with every series I watch that way.  Each episode takes up about an hour of time.  I started on Friday afternoon and just finished tonight.  It was really good.

I met with the attorney and I am waiting to hear back from him on his thoughts.  I honestly think given the situation I would be better to walk away than to sign the agreement.  There is some language in the agreement that will bite back if I sign it.  Then I will have to repay all of the money, plus pay for their attorneys fees, court costs, etc.  It would be counter productive.  It’s one word that is killing me.  Hypothetically I could alter the document and remove that 1 word but if they caught it, that would prove to be a problem for me. 

In addition to that 1 word.  I want more money, I want language in there that talks about them not screwing with my unemployment and that they will provide me with a letter of reference.  By walking away I will make them shake and wonder if I will attempt to file any action against them.  They will be on guard so to speak.  Finally, I didn’t get my vacation pay.  If I sign their piece of garbage agreement then I waive my right to vacation pay.  I did some research and it turns out there is no enforceable action I can take against them for not paying me.  I can call it to their attention but outside of that there isn’t much else I can do to force them to pay me for that time.  What I received on Friday was a normal paycheck.  My gut tells me to walk away and let it be, however I will see what the attorney has to say next week.

They called me on Friday and said we need the password for your Blackberry.  I told them I forgot.  They came back with you better remember or we are going to charge you for the device.  Really, it’s 2 years old and it belongs outright to the company.  There is no monetary value on it because it is so old.  Besides that I told them guess at the password, you get 10 times and then the device will auto format it’s self and you will be able to reuse it.  That was their big claim they wouldn’t be able to reuse it.  Well if the company is going out of business then why would you need to reuse it?  There isn’t a single person in need of a phone right now.

Meanwhile on the job hunt a friend called and told me they saw a job that would be perfect for me.  It was in yesterdays paper.  I said I don’t get the paper.  Well you can probably search for it on-line, yeah dumb ass that is if they publish it.  Then it came to them, here is the website.  Geez, if your going to do me a favor do it right otherwise your not helping me.  I looked it up and applied.  It’s not a place that I would want to work but it’s better than unemployment. 

This has only been the first full week of unemployment and I am losing my mind.  Trapped all day in the house, the children begging for food and all I can think about is losing everything that I have worked so very hard to keep after my partners death.  It’s like not only will my effort be in vain but think of the $20,000.00 that I have sunk into mortgage payments.  That is just the mortgage. There are other bills like food, water, lights, gas, etc.  Looking back the decision I made was the easy one to stay put.  However, if I could do it all over I think I would simply walk away.  Move into another place and call it a day.  I would have had to get rid of probably all but 1 or 2 of the kids.  However, I would have money in the bank and I wouldn’t be in immediate jeopardy, like I am now. 

Rejecting the hush money my former employer wants to give me only cuts my time closer to running out of money.  If I am blessed with a job soon, like this week.  Then I can make another mortgage payment and everything should be okay.  If not then I can still make the payment but it’s less money that I will have to live on.  I don’t want to do the wrong thing and I can’t afford to make a mistake.

All I can say is dear Lord Jesus please hear me and know my immediate need for a job.  Please bless me with a job very soon that will be adequate enough to pay all of my bills and keep living the life that I am accustom to.

If I land on my feet some of the pressure will be over with at the end of the year when my car is paid for.  The Bankruptcy should be about ending as well and that will be $500 that I will be able to save or spend elsewhere.  Things won’t be so tight.  Plus I should qualify for a loan on my own and if so the payment should be more reasonable.  I just got on the rollercoaster from hell and the ride hasn’t stopped yet.  I can only hope and pray that this all works out for the very best and I am able to keep everything and everyone.

So in conclusion I am still in a very dark place and in need of much help.  Up to feed and medicate the children, then to see what I can find to watch until I decide to fall asleep.  Tomorrow is grocery shopping day and my day to check in with unemployment.  Thankfully the check in is done via the computer.  That is for now.  Once they start paying me they will send a letter summoning me every 4 week to their office where I have to go through there little game to prove that I am alive and I didn’t file a false claim and decide to travel to Russia.

SEND HELP NOW – SAVE MY SHIP! Talk with you peeps later.