Goodbye 2013–Last Post of the Year

What a year 2013 was.  Here is my year in review….

January, February and March – all normal months. 

April I lost my partner to a massive stroke, my world was turned upside down and inside out.  I was off work for 2 weeks to try to settle his affairs and that is not enough time.  Went back to work and the following week had to travel.

May, June and July – Again trying to sort of his affairs.  Had to file a lawsuit against one of the larger unions to get a Death Benefit.  Trying to work with the mortgage company and after 4 months of submitting paperwork and calling they denied me.

August – Still trying for the payment modification. Talked to a Congressman

September – October – still working on the mortgage issue.  Referred a friend for a job, she screwed it all up and got fired a month later.  She made me look bad and didn’t do an ounce of work the entire time she was there.

November – What I thought would be some hope I qualified for a mortgage on my own but it was denied at the last minute because I really didn’t qualify.  Still working with the present mortgage company and an Attorney now.

December – Tried to get out of paying his Bankruptcy but red flagged the case so now if I stop paying they will sell the house.  Talked with a friend of a friend who told me that my partner wants me to give the house up since it’s causing me such trouble.  My car got damaged on Christmas break.

Still working for the same angry temperamental hot headed old man.

What I learned this year….

Life is precious enjoy every second of it and don’t be afraid to say I love you or express your feelings.  People are gone in the blink of an eye without any warning. 

Working with banks sucks, they make you fill out forms, wait and string you along.

The law right now isn’t in favor of same sex couples but it did change and DOMA was thrown out.  We are on our way to equality!

Closing out someone’s life is not easy and is very time consuming.  Just when you think your almost done something else seems to pop up. 

Patients and persistence pays off, if you know your right fight until the death and if that means you have to sue someone then do it.  I took down a giant union to get money that was mine. 

Life is expensive and going from 2 incomes to 1 income makes you think about what you need and what you can afford.  You learn to do without and make tough choices.

Call your creditors be it the cable company, alarm company ,etc.  tell them if your going through a rough financial time they will work with you.

Friends.. well tough times show you who your true friends are and you might be surprised by who you think is your friend and who actually is your friend. 

Do you… whatever makes you happy, because no one else can make you happy like you can.  You know yourself and what you like and want, take time out and do something for yourself.

Online Dating is scary you never know what or should I say who you will meet.  I am doing that right now and haven’t gotten date number 1 yet. 

My prayer… As the year winds to a close I pray that the worst is behind me.  This has been a year that I will not soon forget.  Many memories both good and bad.  I am proud of myself for making it this far because I didn’t think I would or could but I did.  I pray that 2014 brings me happiness, a new and better paying job, a mortgage of my own and the ability to make it all work out.  In short I want nothing but the best for 2014 for myself because 2013 sucks.  If it is meant to be I hope that I find Mr. Right who I can build a new life with. I pray that Big Boy and all of my other cats can enjoy another year with me.  I’d also like to win the lottery but if that doesn’t happen it’s okay, just as long as everything else I asked for comes true.  Money isn’t everything but it sure can buy you a lot.   Oh, Loving God please make all of this so!

Thank you for sticking with me and for another year of continued readership.  I will continue to journal my life and hopefully you will read much more positive things than negative things.  Into each life a little rain must fall but I have had a monsoon and am looking for some sunshine!

Happy New Year and may 2014 be the best year ever for all of us!  Cheers.

Last Monday 2013

Rough was the word of the day.  It was tough to get out of bed but knowing that I was going in and thought I would have fun today was kind of a motivator.  No such luck with the fun part.  Everyone wanted a piece of me since I was gone for 2 days.  I still have people that I haven’t gotten back to.  I will try to call them tomorrow but I am sure I will leave something hanging. 

I found out that some of the work I have been doing that is “clerical in nature” I have done wrong – it’s a big project and now I have to start over.  It’s something that an admin. asst. should be doing.  But because it involves putting files on a shared drive they think the IT guy has to do it.  It’s nice to have job security but this is a bullshit task and needs to be done by someone who knows what they are doing – it’s clear that I don’t.  However, I will figure it out. 

Working with putting final touches on a lawsuit at work.  I enjoy that kind of stuff but there is so much you can easily get lost in the paper trail.  Attorneys ask so many damn questions which causes the paper trail.  This case is going to be the death of me but I hope to be done with it tomorrow.  Argh!

No boss man looks like he isn’t coming in.  Now I am wondering if we will get to leave early tomorrow?  Not that I will be able to due to the volume of work but if they close I will bail as quick as I can. 

Got the kids medicine tonight, grabbed the mail and the estimate for my car was in there.  They put a time on it so that clears things up.  Now I have to square things away with the rental car company.  I will break the news to my boss next week, right now I am going to enjoy this week for what it is. 

Cleaned out the fridge all of those Redi Whip bottles are gone along with some expired Cherry Wine and a small amount of V8 juice.  There were some questionable canned items that had been opened like garlic – I tossed all of it.  It’s like I was throwing my late partner away, I hate getting rid of things that remind me of him but that crap can’t live in there forever.  It’s so cold out that none of it would spoil so hopefully nothing gets into the trash.  I try to mix food with dirty cat litter so that hopefully detracts any would be trash burglar. 

My lunch is made, food is picked out for the morning.  All I have to do is take my pills, watch TV and go to bed.  Tomorrow when I come home I can do what I want, which will probably be take a nap.  Sleeping is a favorite activity of mine, along with watching porn and eating.  My 3 vices in this world. 

Thinking about what my last post of the year should be or if I will even make one.  I’ve got an idea not sure if I will be able to put it into action but might try. 

All is well that ends well.  Staying warm with the wacky furnace, my electric blanket and cats with built in heaters.  Had a nice bowl of soup and a ham sandwich for supper.  Pretty good meal.  Desert was 2 Oatmeal Raisin Cookies and I washed it all down with a Pepsi Max.  Now I am ready for ice cream.  I enjoy meat but sweets are my favorite.

Take care talk with you peeps later and stay warm it’s cccold outside!

Sunday = Nap Day

I got up early, had breakfast, fed the hungry begging children and even managed to sleep in a bit.  Shaved, Showered and got dressed.  Shoved off to the grocery store where I proceeded to forget 2 items and not remember until I got home.  Finished up laundry early, watched some porn, watched some TV and then called my brother.  The phone rang off the hook.  Finally it went to voice mail.  I hung up and called back.  He answered and told me that I got him out of bed.  It was noon.  He wanted a 1/2 hour extension on lunch.  Okay so I gave in.  Then he calls me back and said lets do it a different day.  I said okay.  How about tomorrow?  Fabulous except for one tiny problem I have to work.  Oh yeah.  So I told him we would schedule something in the future.  Maybe New Years Day if not then I’m not sure when we will get together.  His work schedule is wacky.

I got a call when I got home in front of the house on my work phone.  It was one of the facilities telling me they had no internet and they talked with the provider and the provider says the problem is on our end.  Really and your like 25 thousand miles away and it’s Sunday what do you expect me to do?  Just provide some advice.  So I did and heard did that, tried that now what?  I suggested as a last resort rebooting the server but that didn’t work.  I’m not sure what they did but they are back up, I just checked.  Strange.  I just hate getting interrupted by work when I am supposed to be off.

Yesterday it was our nit wit office manager who locked up her brothers e-mail account.  I had to call the vendor to get that fixed and that will cost them serious money because it was after hours and on a weekend.  I think that is hysterical because they didn’t want to give me the ability to manage lock outs and passwords because apparently I am not trusted, chop off your nose despite your face.  Fools!

Friday it was do you have a spare laptop that you could lend to a girl in the office.  No and even if I did that would mean I would have to come in and that just wasn’t going to happen on my day off.  It would take something far more serious than that. 

I want to change lives with one of my friends who seem so happy and cheerful, where things seem to be going in the right direction.  I am just so unhappy right now.  My hope is that will change.  Part of this is because I have to go back to the hell hole tomorrow but the other part is well me just being me.

I am not crazy about having to drive an injured car to work and still haven’t quite yet decided about how to break the news of time off.  I think I will probably wait until after the new year – because asking now I could be asked to give up the time I have scheduled off and well I really need it. 

I have decided next week I will be going for pie, I need to get away from the area just listen to music, clear my mind and drive.  It’s a little on the expensive side but well worth it. 

Big Boy waddle out to me tonight, he wanted to play with the new toy but also wanted some dad time.  I gave him a brushing and a nice paper towel bath.  He enjoyed it so much he kept asking for more.  I then gave him a can of Tuna Fish and Egg Cat Food.  He loves it.  He eats it in stages, which is kind of smart.  No sense in gulping down a whole can if you know you will be hungry later.  Might as well space it out.  The problem is others see it as left overs and they move in.  He won’t stop them.  He knows all to well about the dry food that is out.  All of Momma’s family eats it.  In fact the only cat that won’t eat dry is Blu.  He is spoiled with wet food.  He doesn’t even like treats. 

The ambulances have been really busy here over the course of the past week.  Bad Weather brings them out like hornets.  However, the weather has been fairly decent.  Must be the holidays. 

Just went upstairs to feed the children their last meal for the night (they don’t know that yet) and Taz & Blu apparently got into it.  Taz has a laceration on his face.  Feels rather odd calling him Taz when he is so dossal now.  I can do anything I want to him and he really doesn’t try to gnaw off my hand like he would have years ago. 

I was playing with my phone this afternoon and found a White Castle App.  I placed an order and then went to pick it up.  I went inside and they were waiting for me.  It was good but not exactly what I wanted.  I am kind of hamburger out now.  My only complaint is that the fries were not extra crispy like I asked for. 

Watched a couple movies and some TV on demand this afternoon.  Managed to fall asleep on the one day that I didn’t want to.  Because I will probably have issues falling asleep tonight.  Still have to prepare for tomorrow and lord will that be depression city in the morning.  I have plenty to do from the emails that I have gotten over the past couple days so it’s not like I will be bored, that is unless I really don’t want to do the work which is highly possible. 

I signed up for job alerts yesterday so it will help remind me to look as well as let me see what is out there in case I some how happen to forget, when life is going full speed ahead looking for a job is very much an after thought. 

Looking forward to a better year with very little bad times and many good times! 2 more days until 2014.  Stay warm and be well.

Last Saturday of 2013

Today is the very last Saturday of the year.  It also marks another year anniversary of losing my grandma.  It’s been well over 20 years now.  It really has no effect on me because I have gotten used to it.  Still I will never forget seeing her lucid on the 27th and being able to talk with her.  Then to be told on the 28th that she passed, it was really a big blow for me.  I didn’t understand it.

Death is something that I have struggled with my entire life.  Why it happens?  Why are we born to die?  What really happens when you die?  Yeah, I know your heart stops and you turn blue.  It is just something that has bothered me.  I have seen a lot of death in my 42 years of walking the earth.  Losing a classmate or a classmate losing a parent kind of brings it all home.  It’s one of those wake up calls that when it happens to someone you know, you think geez I should really get it together.  It’s a reminder to treat people as you wish to be treated, etc. 

Well I spent a part of my day in bed.  I managed to wake up with a sore neck and I didn’t feel the best.  I got some moist heat on it and now it feels better.  I forced myself to take a nap and that helped. 

I went to the pharmacy only to learn that they had issues with the vet finding my name so the medicine won’t be ready until Monday.  Just what I wanted to avoid.  Okay so be it.  Got the mail and the guy from yesterday car is still on the lot.  Came home, put all of the things I took out of my car back in.  Since I will be driving it for a while and not leaving it at a shop. 

Treated myself to Red Lobster tonight.  Got a cute waiter and had some good fish.  Plus I made room for desert.  Their carrot cake is the best.  Paid cash for it, felt really good. 

Came back home talked with my brother, we are supposed to go out tomorrow for a bite.  I am not really up for it on a Sunday but it was his next day free.  If I feel really bad tomorrow I will cancel and we will have to do it next week some time. 

I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow, need to get food for lunch and supper as well as see if I can find something special for New Years Day.  Looking forward to another 5 days off that will feel really good but the time does go by really fast. 

The children are going to be lost come Monday and Tuesday.  Then I will confuse them on Wednesday.  I really hate that but it is what it is.  Work is piling up for me, lots of e-mail asking for help or needing me to do something.  I just hope for two quick days and then adios I am in the wind for 5 long days. 

I didn’t go see any movies, even though I wanted to.  I just got lazy about it and not wanting to drive, etc.  I have seen lots of good stuff right here in my own home some free other stuff I had to pay for but it was worth it.  Good times spent being with the kids and watching them all sleep.

Well it’s time to turn in for the night and get some more heat for the neck.  It’s starting to act up again.  I hope you enjoyed the Last Saturday of the year.  Talk with you peeps again soon.

Anniversary

Today would have been our one year mark.  Just another day now.  I am very lonely.  Sadness, Depression and Grief come with that.  If I could help resolve that problem I think several of my other issues would disappear.  The lady I was talking with on Christmas told me not to date on-line instead do volunteer work.  She suggested Big Brother/Big Sister.  Tell them that I specialize in dealing with sexuality, if they have someone who is questioning that I could maybe help them.  Yeah, that’s all I need is to get a little brother and have the bastard accuse me of rape or fondling him, sorry I won’t be volunteering.  Besides that most (not all) straight people think that gay men are pedophiles.  It just smells like more trouble and I certainly don’t need that right now. 

I gave in to my desire and went to Bob Evans to have Chili.  It was good.  Then the waitress told me about Chocolate Bread Pudding turns out they don’t have it yet.  Ah, I wasn’t too happy.  Had a burger with my Chili and it was an okay meal for lunch. 

I went to get cat food afterwards and then had to decide if I wanted to go see a movie or go home.  I went for the movie but I talked myself out of it.  I was thinking of my car and really didn’t want to go right then.  I may go tomorrow or just wait for the streaming version. 

I saw previews for The Wolf on Wall Street and that sounds really good.  I may just opt to see it tomorrow, it’s playing close by.  The Madea movie would require me to travel a little bit.  Not so sure that it’s worth the trip, but I did tell myself that I would see it so who knows might do both.

Prior to hitting up Bob Evans I stopped at the post office.  All I have been getting for the past few days is junk mail.  Makes me want to stop going.  Argh!  There was a guy next to me having problems getting his car started.  I saw the HRC sticker on his bumper and figured he is probably gay.  His car would turn over just wouldn’t start.  Sounds like trouble.  He had a cell phone and was calling someone, you could tell he wasn’t too happy.  It would have been a great way to make an introduction, but I opted to let him figure it out.  I went back by the post office on my way to get the cat food and his car was still there.  I feel for him, car problems suck!

Speaking of which I got a call from the body shop today and they can’t fit me in until the 13th of Jan.  It’s like 2 weeks away.  They have to order the bumper which will take about a week to get in – I don’t believe that but that is what they are saying.  Then it will take them a couple days to paint the new bumper and finally install it.  I drop the car off on Monday and will be picking it up Wednesday or Thursday.  Now I have to ask for more time off, I’ve got it but didn’t plan on using it like this.  My thoughts are to ask about coming in late on Monday and telling my boss that I will need to leave at 2 or 3 in the afternoon to go get it.  He won’t like it but at least I will be at work and minimizing the time off. 

I did call AT&T about my home phone and wound up taking off a wire insurance policy that I was paying $8.99 for a month.  I didn’t even know it.  So there is a savings right there.  I stopped by the Cellular store and they tried to sell me a home security system.  There was a couple dollars I could save by modifying my plan but I would be giving up unlimited data and there would be no way to ever get that back again.  I didn’t see that it was worth it.  I did add an extra service months ago to block certain numbers from calling me, I removed that and will be saving $3.99 per month so that will help.  Just did the math a little bit ago to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming, the numbers work out.  I should have $200 per month that I am saving.  If that is the case that money will go to savings and that way if I need it, I can fall back on it.  My thought is to just deduct it at $100 per check and that way it is in savings out of sight but not out of mind. 

I called about my car payoff and it’s actually a couple hundred dollars more expensive than what I planned for.  It makes sense to pay it off since the loan is at 5.14% and I am not getting that kind of interest on my savings.  However, if I spend all of that money now and an emergency comes in to play I would be screwed.  So I am going to take the chickens way out and keep making the monthly payments.  At least for the time being  If my circumstances change well then I can always explore paying it off early.  I’d really like to trade in both vehicles for 1 brand new one.  Interest rates are back to 0% and that is really hard to pass up but I would be committing myself for another 4 or 5 years and right now that doesn’t seem like the smart thing to do.  My car is still young, low mileage and I have an extended bumper to bumper warranty.  Might as well keep what I have and call it a day. 

I have watched a fair amount of TV and Movies today.  One of which was all about Bipolar Disorder and people who suffer from it.  It was interesting, but kind of a time waster for me.  I was feeling low and that is why I decided to watch it.  Thinking maybe I would see someone worse off than me and that would cheer me up.  Kind of sick but well I did see those people and it didn’t cheer me up. 

This is the first Christmas and in 4 more months it will be a year.  The first year has been rocky so far.  I hope and pray that the second year gets better for me.  2014 just has to be better.  It doesn’t mean that I will stop missing him or forget about him but since it’s time we are talking about it should help somewhat to heal the wound.  My heart is still very much broken and I am still very much grieving my loss.  Each new added problem that life throws at me makes me wonder if this will be the breaking point.  I honestly want to quit my job, but I know I can’t.  I also want to kill myself because it hurts so much and I am so tired but no amount of rest seems to help me recover from the loss.  I am mad at myself for not seeing the signs and trying to stop this (but that is hindsight).  I am mad at him for not taking his medicine like he should have or at least letting me help him so that this wouldn’t have happened.  However, deep down I know that if this was his time and if he was doing everything right he still would have died it’s just the cause and means would have been different.  I keep telling people that the cats are my motivation.  I am pretty sure they can survive without me, provided they make it to a good shelter or a good home.  The problem is no one really checks on me I would be laying dead here for what could easily be up to a month.  Work would freak but I can’t say that they would have enough sense to call the police or my emergency contact.  If they did then it would only be a matter of days that I would lay here. 

I think of what type of scar that would leave on whomever found me.  I think of what it would do to my mother and brother.  The problem is I don’t have enough friends.  I know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I hear that it gets better but thus far it isn’t getting better for me.  It’s not just the battle with the mortgage company and the bankruptcy it’s the loss it’s self and the pain that goes with it.  The people in big business who don’t give a damn but will tell you that they are sorry for your loss.  They may be sorry but their actions and in actions speak louder.  I realize they all have jobs and need to keep them.  However, when some one dies the rules should be broken – death should wipe the slate clean and everything be forgiven. 

I keep thinking maybe I should start picking and playing the lottery on a regular basis that I could surely win.  Yeah if I was the only person in the world playing that would probably be true but there are tons of people I am competing against and the odds are better that I will get struck by lighting or run over by a car when I cross the street than winning the lottery.  However, people have done it before.  I hate to say this but I feel like I am owed.  I know in reality I am not owed anything.

The only thing that would be solved if I died would be that my partners son, the bankruptcy court and the mortgage company would all duke it out and get it settled.  This place would be sold.  Outside of my car I am not in any serous debt and my savings today would pay for my funeral as well as all of my bills. 

Yeah I’ve really thought this out and have been wanting to write about it for a while but suppressed it.  The longer you hold things in the more they fester and grow.  Let it out so that is what I am doing, letting it out.  It’s all just words…right now I am still waiting, hoping and praying that things get better.  Don’t worry about me taking my life, for the moment it’s NOT going to happen I have too much of a vested interest to see how things are going to work out. 

Shifting gears.  Last night I found a porn movie that I have been waiting to see.  It’s called Dad Gets In To Trouble.  It stars Devin Moss who is very well endowed.  He just does it for me.  Seeing him in action well that is worth it for me.  I’ve also come to realize that my vice is porn.  Well maybe food and porn.  I am an addict and if I ever do find the right guy I am wondering if I can exist without porn.  Right now it’s all good and provides a great release for me.  Watching Don Jon the other day I realized when I am watching porn all of my problems fade away – it’s just me and the screen I am not thinking about money, my loss, a sick cat, my job or anything else.  I am thinking about the guys on the screen and well you get the idea. 

We have 4 days left in this crummy, crappy year.  I hope that they go by fast and that I don’t have any further problems.  I hope that like the Christmas song says my troubles will be out of sight. 

Crappy Anniversary to me.  I miss my guy more than I can put into words.  I really wish he were here with me in good health.  I’d give back every cent I received and then some just to be with him again and be happy.  I mean he is all I have known for the better part of my life.  He was my rock and he is gone now.  I believe that he is watching over me and trying to look out for me.  I know that I am keeping my promise in making him proud in that I am making things work here by keeping all of us (me and the cats) together.  I am trying to make the best out of a shitty situation and I know that he didn’t leave me willingly, it was simply his time.  I know that he loved me more than anyone on earth because he told me so each and everyday.  I thought it was sappy, cheesy and took it for granted.  Now that he is gone I appreciate the fact that he expressed those feelings each and every day.  The last 6 months or possibly longer we got closer and exchanged I love you’s much more frequently.  I am grateful that I was able to spend so many years with him and that I was always there when he needed me.  I was his rock as much as he was mine.  We covered each others back no matter what and now I am on my own.  I must say that while I am not happy things turned out the way they did I am glad that I am the one who survived like we planned.  I know that he would have went to shit if I went before him and things around here would really have fallen apart.  He would have probably been dead within the first three months.  He always told me that he couldn’t live without me.  I told him the same.  However, I am living now.  I just wish that we could communicate, not being able to talk with him is the hardest part ever.  I still miss my lunch time phone calls and waking him up in the morning chatting about what was going to be for supper.

If you have read this far, I must thank you for sticking with me.  I know this post is all over the place but it’s a very emotional day for me.  Last year at this time I was so happy, who would have thought a year later my life would change so drastically.  I am glad that we got the Civil Union it was money very well spent.  I didn’t know why we both got choked up when we said “until death do us part” but I get it today just like I got it back in April when he passed. 

If you take away only one thing from this post – I want it to be that life is precious and if you have a wife, a husband, a lover, a partner, a significant other – someone who means something to you tell them today how much you love and appreciate them.  Cherish every moment with them the good times as well as the bad.  At least you are together.  That is what this whole experience has taught me, among other things. 

Now if I could just break out of this depression and grief – laugh and smile more, eat a little less and spend a whole lot less I think that my problems would figure themselves out.  However, until that happens I will continue to worry and watch to make sure that things get dealt with as they need to be.

It struck me at Christmas when a 6 year old said the blessing and ended it with Thank you Jesus for my life.  I didn’t realize it but he was born 3 months premature and wasn’t supposed to make it.  That was shock and awe, that touched me so very much.

Okay, I’m going to call and end to this and get ready for bed.  I have to get to the pharmacy tomorrow to get the kids medicine but that doesn’t mean I need to be up at the crack of dawn.  I just have to tell that to them.  :)   Thanks for stopping by.  Talk with you peeps later.

The Day After

Christmas was just okay.  I met a girlfriend of my friends late son.  We got to talking and the gay thing came out and the loss of my partner.  Then she tells me that she has the ability to hear things from dead people and know things in advance before they happen.  So she is a medium of sorts.  She tells me that my partner told her that he stopped taking his medicine on purpose.  He sees that the house is a sense of a burden for me and he wants me to let it go.  The memories are not in the house but they are in your heart.  He is having fun with me through Blu and he is the one knocking things off, he is laughing at me. 

Erie & Awkward.  I didn’t know how much of that she was prepped with.  I called tonight and talked with my friend and he told me that she has been right about a number of things and that she wasn’t prepped.  As for the part about him doing it on purpose that was doubtful.  We both knew him pretty well and while we both have talked about suicide it was simply never an option because it would send us to hell.

I believe that he would want me to let the house go as he wouldn’t want it to burden me further.  He never did want to be a burden to me but he was.  The last thing he would want to do is create another burden for me.  However, I am hanging on as long as I can – I would like to keep this place.  Funny how he never said what I was supposed to do about the cats.

I took my letter to the courthouse and talked with someone today.  They said that I will be issued a deferral.  You can do that one time.  They will call me again in 6 to 9 months and then I will have to serve.  Let’s hope by then my finances and employer both allow me to serve. 

Got a new problem now.  My car was involved in an accident.  I figured that out when I got home today, I had lunch with a friend.  So I’ve made the calls to report it and gone to the body shop.  I need a new bumper and it’s going to cost me $250, which is what my deductible is.  I get to get a rental but the body shop won’t touch my car until the claim comes through from the insurance company.  I came home and called to put pressure on the insurance company.  I will be calling the body shop tomorrow.  I’d like to get this taken care of and minimize the amount of time I have to take off work to deal with this.  If I can drop off my car and get the rental while I am off that will be good.  Then taking a day or even part of a day to go pick it up should be okay. 

As a result of this accident I didn’t get to do a lot of the things that I had planned for the day.  Thankfully I have another day, being tomorrow to take care of those things.  I’m starting to wonder if there isn’t a black cloud hanging over me.  Let us hope that this time next week things will start a new and be fresh, pleasant and I can have the best year of my life.  Whatever that means.

I went to the funeral home tonight, that was tough.  I really had to choke back the tears.  So here I am after almost two full days of no computer catching up.  Wow, there is life outside of the computer, who knew!

Stay warm and be safe.  Talk with you peeps later!

I got a summons for Christmas

Monday is long gone and Wednesday (Christmas) is less than an hour away, at least in my time zone.  Normal work day nothing too exciting which is good.  I stopped for mail on the way home and picked up a summons for Jury Duty.  It’s not until February.  I’ve never been called before so I would actually like to serve.  Problem is my employer will NOT pay me for Jury Duty.  I asked the dick (aka my boss) for a letter to excuse me since I was deemed essential personnel.  I was told sorry can’t write you a letter.  Really?  They also can’t take any action against me if I do serve or because I was summoned.  They are not required to pay and they can’t make me use my time.  Now here is the messed up part.  I am exempt, meaning that I am paid by salary.  So it doesn’t matter if I work 20 hours or 2,000 hours in a month my pay is the same.  The true meaning of the word salary is you earn the same amount regardless of how much work you do or don’t do in the course of a month.  Now, back when we were making travel arrangements for WIFI last year I was told I couldn’t be gone for 2 weeks, I was needed in the office.  Okay but now all of a sudden it’s okay that I am gone for a minimum of a week to a maximum of the length of a trial.  What if the trial took 2 months? 

This actually sounds like I might have a cause of action, at least in my mind if I do have to serve and they dock me.  I would have to talk with the Wage & Hour people and probably a Labor Employment Attorney. 

Rather than getting angry and wasting money on legal fees, I am going to go visit the Jury Duty Office on Thursday and present them a letter in person and explain to them that this will cause me a financial hardship if they require me to serve, I would be risking my home going into foreclosure if I am unable to make payments.  So I am asking them to excuse me now, but call me again at a later date and if my circumstances have changed I would be very happy to serve.  See I really do want to, I just can’t afford to since I work for a lame company who doesn’t want to encourage their employees to do their civic duty.  The way it’s always worked for my past employers you surrender what money you earn from Jury Duty to the employer and they pay you OR you tell them how much you got and they make up the difference so your not out any money, just your time.

I shot a dagger to the boss and reminded him that if I was required to serve that I would be out of touch because electronics are not allowed in the courthouse.  Just saying pick your poison you can help me or you can try to screw me but I won’t be checking the phone every chance I get and I won’t be working in the evening from home.  If I am out for a week, I will be out for a week and there won’t be a damn thing he can do about it.  So like my late partner used to say you fuck me, I fuck you and we all go fucking crazy!  Bastards.  It’s got me just a little fired up.

Tuesday… we closed at 2pm.  Hardly worth getting out of bed to come in.  Last night I messed with the thermostat because it was too hot in here we were all burning up.  So I turned it down one degree and the furnace went off.  All was good, until I woke up this morning to no heat.  Seriously!  I tried every trick I knew to get the damn thing to run but the fan would kick on for a couple minutes and then it would turn off.  I was going out for supper but instead came home because I was worried I would have to call a repair person.  I know it’s coming, just a matter of when.  Anyway, it appears to be working now.  So I won’t be touching it  - heat is very important.  Lucky the kids have fur coats they can stay toasty, plus they have built in heaters.  Maybe I should just snuggle with them!  Talk about being cheap.

Paid all of the bills that I know of right now.  Have $41 left to my name.  No word from the mortgage company, I got voice mail and left a message when I called yesterday.  No response from them yet.  I called back today and got the same thing.  I will be trying on Thursday and Friday as well.  If that gets me no where then I will call back on Monday.  Eventually the lady has to come back to work.  Plus my attorney gets back on the 6th so then she can take over the phone campaign.  I have a # to customer service but they aren’t too helpful and I am told the person my attorney has found is more than helpful.  So I kind of look forward to speaking with her.  I really hope that I get different results this time.

Saw a picture of a neighbor that I grew up with.  Man he turned out like the rest of his family.  Short and very, very fat.  He’s a cop but there is no way in hell he could run.  He would probably have a heart attack. 

I found out that one of my late partners friends passed away.  No one called I read it in the paper by chance.  So Thursday I will be going to the Funeral Home and I just hope I can keep it together.  This isn’t exactly a great time of year for me.  Plus I know what his wife is going through.  He was 80 or 82 so he lived a good long life. I fully expect that she will be following him shortly.  They did everything together.  Sort of like me and my guy.  It wasn’t one of us it was both of us or we weren’t there.  At least my guy has a friend to keep him company.  He was always worried that one time we would go to visit this guy in the hospital and it would be the last time.

So there you have it Monday & Tuesday.  Tomorrow going over to friends house to have dinner and chat, plus drop off their present.  If I have time I will do a surprise drop by my mom’s.  I thought her or my brother would call tonight but no such luck.  They will probably call in the morning is my guess. 

Thursday – I have to talk with the phone company both cell and landline to try to negotiate a lower price on my bills, it’s not a requirement but it sure would help me if they gave in.  I have to visit the court house to drop off that letter.  I have to call for a payoff on my car and then figure out if I want to pay it off or continue with monthly payments.  After all that work it will surely be time for a nap.  I am sure some idiot will bother me from work but I certainly hope not.  I made it very clear if you call or e-mail me I am on vacation and can be reached if you have an emergency.  Funny thing is what they think is an emergency really isn’t. 

Oh, I did watch Don Jon tonight.  Amazon came to their senses and allowed 48 hour rental for $4.99.  Joseph Gordon Levitt looks so damn fine in that movie.  Shame no naked booty shot though.  It was interesting but really all the hype was just that hype.  Nice way to occupy a couple hours. 

I will be seeing Tyler Perry’s Madea Christmas either on Thursday or Friday – not sure yet.  Well time to get upstairs and snuggle, the furnace is on and I am getting tired since it’s late. 

Talk with you peeps later!

Ladies & Gentlemen

Greetings again reader!  Sounds like a robot phrase. :)

So it’s been an interesting weekend.  I got home late on Friday because I was stuck at work with a computer problem and it was our office managers computer.  She finally took delivery of the machine I built her in October.  Jeez. She was whining that her machine didn’t work and it was slow, etc.  Yeah, it was jacked up with spyware.  That’s what happens when you goof off at work and surf the internet on sites you shouldn’t be on.  Anyway, I am holding my breath because if there is something wrong I will surely hear about it.  I built it just like any other machine, it’s just that I don’t usually have to update virus definitions and apply a mass of windows updates when I normally deploy a machine, all of that is done when it’s being built.  That woman is my enemy – she loves me to my face but stabs me in the back every chance she gets. 

I have been very concerned about finances, the house and keeping my furry family together.  I put it off as long as I could but last night I sat down and did some serious number crunching and thinking of different scenarios.  I found what I believe to be the perfect mix.  It requires me to part with money in savings, but it will keep me here.  So first I have to pay his bankruptcy from savings.  Then I have to make my car payment from savings.  Later this week I will be calling for a pay off and if it’s cheaper I will just go pay it off and be done with it.  The question is all about interest and where it’s going to benefit me the most.  That is it.  I should also try to reduce expenses as much as possible so I will have to try going back to once a month haircuts.  Right now I have a gift card I bought and there are still 2 haircuts left.  I also am going to reach out to Ma Bell to find out if I can make my home and cell phones cheaper.  I know I will probably have to give up some features but anything will help me.  Finally, regardless if the present lender works with me or not, if my figuring is correct then I will be okay.  I call them tomorrow so cross your fingers, eyes, ears, toes and say a prayer.  I hope they finally see the light and decide to work with me.  That would be the best Christmas present right now.  I’m looking for a $500 reduction in the payment, but anything will help.  I also pray that Uncle Sam is good to me come tax time, presuming so that will be extra money that I can use to continue to stay afloat.  Not trying to be negative but I did factor in if I lost my job.  Well then I could make it for about two months that is paying everything.  After that I would be toast.  My hope is that I don’t lose my job and that I am able to find something after the 1st of the year that will afford me more money, a better environment and  the chance for a promotion with a decent boss who isn’t a total dick.  Time will tell on how it works out.

Friday night on the way home I stopped off to pick up my medicine at the pharmacy.  Wow a hot looking guy took care of me.  He was married or so I believe because I saw a wedding ring.  He was kind of nervous and when I gave him a $100 bill he really kind of freaked out.  Then it was off to the pet food store.  I paid cash there as well.  Then home to the kids and unpacking, feeding them and having cheese popcorn and a soda for supper.  I was tapped out.  Very long day!

Saturday I had to get the mail, go to Target which I learned because of their data breach they were giving everyone 10% off, I went crazy on cat litter, paper towels, soda and I got the portable speaker I wanted.  It’s not Bluetooth it’s wired with a 3.5mm connection that plugs in to the ear jack but it works and has a rechargeable battery.  I figured for $17 how could I go wrong? Dropped $96 and paid in cash.  Packed all that stuff away and then went down the way a bit to eat at a Mexican place.  I had an okay meal, service was crappy.  I went to pay the bill and there was a line that was getting longer and longer to check out.  When out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a guy that I knew.  I did a double take and holy crap it was him.  A cutey that I have a crush on.  I know his name but he doesn’t know me.  We used to ride mass transit together.  He was with some other people and left to get something from the car.  They were right behind me.  I stared as long as I could at him, he didn’t give me the time of day.  He is married and has a daughter.  Yeah, I know isn't that the way.  So the people he was with had a little girl.  She asked her mommy if she could have some candy.  Her mother said no we have that at home.  Well that didn’t exactly bring joy to the childs face.  I saw what she wanted and it was only $1.  I paid my bill, in cash again.  Then dropped the extra dollar and got her what she wanted.  I handed it to her, said Merry Christmas and dashed out before anyone could realize what happened.  I did it because of two reasons.  One the guy I liked and Two I have always wanted to do something like that.  She was really surprised and started screaming Mommy I got one.  I felt all warm inside and like I did something good. 

Then I started thinking I am always the nice one.  Letting people cut in traffic, holding the door, etc.  Where has it got me?  Nice guys do finish last.  However, I will still probably continue to do all of those things. 

Came home and unpacked.  Watched TV and eventually took a nap. 

Sunday I didn’t go to the grocery store.  First time in a while that has happened.  Oddly enough I have everything I need to make it through two days of work, plus my time off so there really was no need to visit the store.  I did venture out to the Auto Parts store today.  I got a couple cans of Heat (you know the stuff in the yellow bottle that removes water from your gas tank and keeps your fuel line from freezing) plus I picked up a jug of Windshield Washer Fluid.  Then mailed a couple Christmas cards and came back home.  I found two other gallons of Windshield Washer fluid that I didn’t even know I had  Looks like I am well stocked for a while.  Then I got the bright idea to take out the truck.  It hasn’t been moved in near a month and with all of the weather we had I wondered if it would start.  It doesn’t really do that well in the winter unless you keep it going.  I cranked on it and it took a little bit but it started.  I went out for a little ride and then came back home.  I will be taking it Christmas day to my friends house.  The knob that controls the temperature is fixed so I had heat and it was great.  Bring my speaker along and listen to the tunes while I drive.  Should be a grand time. 

The cable bill arrived in the mail yesterday and I didn’t look at it until late.  When I realized that I could see Hours, the last movie that Paul Walker made on Pay Per View.  I was really excited about that.  It isn’t playing within 250 miles of my house, so I was wondering how exactly I would see it.  I watched it today.  Very touching and good movie.  Lots of things happened that I didn’t expect but in the end Father & Baby survived.  It is a shame that Paul isn’t still walking the earth.  He was a hot guy and a damn good actor.  I loved all of his work!

I have been hanging with the kids for the better part of the day.  Laundry and cleaning have happened, but really didn’t need to since next week is so short.  I figured why stop the routine.  I was going to move my monitor but thought it out and decided against it.  I just cleaned my desk and it looks really good now. 

Found Don-Jon on Amazon another movie I want to see.  Yes it’s because of Joseph Gordon Levitt.  He is so H O T.  They want like $17 to own the movie.  I don’t want to own it I just want to watch it.  Chances are pretty good that I will buy it because my flesh is weak.  I do have to visit the theater this week to see the Tyler Perry Movie …A Medea Christmas.  That has to be a goodie.  There is a theater a hop, skip and a jump away from home.  So probably on Thursday that is where you will find me. 

When I went cat food shopping, I saw this toy.  We have one already but it’s a ball inside a plastic circle with cardboard in the middle for scratching.  The kids just love it.  Well they had them on clearance for $8 so I picked up another one.  It’s louder than the one we have but everyone is in love with it.  They even included a couple pouches of catnip.  That draws them out like there is food in the house.  Even shy girl comes running, daddy give me some of that – yeah the powder.  I feel like a drug dealer but she just loves it.  Seeing them react to catnip makes me think that the human equivalent is rolling around in a bed of money.  Lets hope I get a chance to do that someday. 

I saw someone online tonight that was just okay looking.  However we have a 72% match – lots of things in common.  He is younger than me.  Doesn’t appear to be a looker.  I messaged him, have to wait and see if he responds back.  Even if we don’t make a love connection, we could at least become friends.  Who knows.  On-line dating is kind of scary when you think about it.  Your seeing one photo and reading some words but you could be talking to the next Jeffrey Dahmer and not know it.  That is why meetings will have to occur in a very public place.  When we are done, we just go our separate ways.  I was blunt and asked him for a date.  I haven’t had any luck thus far and figured it couldn’t hurt anything.  The worst he can say is no. 

I do believe boss man will be in town tomorrow, even though I didn’t think he would be in.  It would be nicer if he were away but as long as he leaves me alone I will be fine.  There is plenty for me to do.  Plus I figure Monday will be a full day.  Tuesday I am expecting to get to leave early.  After that I have the rest of the week off and will be happy as long as the blackberry strapped to my hip like a bomb doesn’t go off.  Most people are taking off the rest of the week like me.  I guess great minds really do think alike. 

That is all that was new in my world.  Stay warm and be safe.  I will talk to you peeps later.  Hopefully next time I will have good news on the mortgage.  :)

Bankruptcy Update

So I heard back from the attorney my partner retained.  He was not exactly pleased as punch with me but he was to the point.  Simply put by writing the Judge I have ‘red flagged’ the case and if I stop paying there is a possibility the Trustee would enter an order to have the house sold so that the creditors could get paid since I was no longer paying each month.  I would be evicted from my own home. 

See I didn’t want to cause any problems I simply was saying hey this is a huge burden on me and I want to get rid of it.  No one will help me.  It just feels like legalized extortion. 

There is a little more than a year to pay before we could approach the court for a Hardship Discharge.  It’s either pay or part with $4 thousand dollars.  I think it would be smarter to pay it monthly because if something goes awry with the house then I can simply stop paying everyone.  Then that money is truly mine. 

I thought about transferring the house into my name but I am told that won’t stop any legal action.  If they want the house they will get it.  Lock, Stock and Barrel.  This is tantamount to paying a bully my lunch money for “protection”.  Sucks!

So perhaps I will be paying after all.  I don’t have plans to send any money this month but they might get something next month. 

An attorney friend of mine explained it to me like this.  Say money was no object and you parted with $20,000.00 to lend to a friend to buy a Firebird.  Your friend gets the car and enjoys it, he is paying you but suddenly he dies.  You see his son driving all around town in the car but he is no longer paying you.  Would you make a move for the car?  Yeah, I probably would.  Well that is what the creditors are doing.  He owed them money and it’s time they get paid back.  Right but it was Him that owed the money not me.  Yes, but you are living in his house which is his only asset prior to death so it’s like your driving the car but you don’t want to make the payments.  Okay, so I get it.

I then said what would you do if you were me?  Without missing a beat she said….get rid of all of those cats, save that money, make the Bankruptcy payment, put the house up for sale and look for a new place to live.  Cut expenses where you can.

With the Bankruptcy payment I would have to continue it until it was discharge or a hardship discharge was granted.  Otherwise whomever the house would be sold to could be evicted at which point they would be coming after me personally.  They would want their money back plus damages.

Just a messy situation no matter how you look at it.  I am not exactly thrilled.  What are your thoughts?  I am curious to know if you were faced with my dilemma what you would do.  I’m responsible ultimately for the decision I make.  I am just interested in getting advice.

Thanks for reading.  TTYL

Holiday Work Humor

Christmas party post-mortem

Baker Donelson Bearman Caldwell & Berkowitz PC

Adam H. Gates

MEMORANDUM

TO:               Management Team

FROM:           Company’s Legal Counsel

DATE:            December 23, 2013

RE:                Christmas Party Post-Mortem

*************************************************************************

The events that unfolded at the Company’s mandatory, in-house Christmas Party last week have resulted in the following pending matters and changes to Company policies:

First, at the Christmas Party, we will no longer require employees to participate in an off-key rendition of Joy to the World, as a pre-condition of receiving their holiday bonus checks.   We are checking with the EEOC to see if Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer would be sufficiently secular to use for next year's party.

Second, next year’s party will be voluntary. Because the party was mandatory, the Company must compensate all hourly employees who attended or face possible wage claims. Thus, we must now explain to the Board of Directors why the Company should pay the entire Accounting Department for playing Truth or Dare until 4 a.m. Saturday.   

Third, hourly employees will not be asked to set up the party, serve hor d'oeuvres, tend bar, sing carols on demand, wear Santa hats, or clean-up after the party for the same reason cited above. We must arguably pay these employees for the hours they performed these tasks. I am certain that we are the only company in town that paid time and a half and provided full benefits for individuals to provide catering services.

Fourth, Wendell from the mail room had never mixed drinks before being asked to bartend. He therefore made exceedingly strong drinks and apparently spiked the non-alcoholic punch at the behest of several members of the Sales Team. Next year, non-alcoholic beverages will be available (and will be protected from becoming alcoholic). We will also convert the jello-shots table to a full buffet and stop serving alcohol an hour before the party ends.

Fifth, it turns out that Wendell from the mail room is a Senior in High School. When his mother tracked his phone to Peggy from Human Resources’ house the morning following the party, she called the police department. If we serve alcohol at next year’s Holiday Party, we will ensure that everyone who partakes is 21 or over. We will also provide a car service to ensure employees get home safely. The criminal aspects of this matter remain pending.

Sixth, though it seemed charitable for Peggy to make sure that Wendell made it all the way home, all Company policies apply to the conduct at the party, including our prohibition of sexual harassment. Thus, instead of high-fiving Wendell, Tommy from Ethics should have taken his complaints about Peggy’s advances seriously and followed the Company’s policies and procedures for reporting and addressing harassment. 

Seventh, because every drink that Wendell made was a triple and there was no non-alcoholic alternative, several instances of sexual harassment, in addition to Wendell’s complaint, reportedly occurred. We are sorting through the various complaints, including one lodged by Tammy from Shipping, who claims that Lloyd from Data Processing repeatedly attempted to give the reindeer on her Christmas sweater a massage. Next year, Human Resources must send a pre-party reminder that Company policies apply at the Christmas Party just as they do during a normal workday. The same goes for enforcement of those policies.

Finally, the Company may also be facing Workers’ Compensation exposure. Jeff from Marketing threw out his back during a dance fight with Darrel from Maintenance, and he has not been able to fully stand since the party. Because the party was mandatory and clients were invited, Jeff may have a workers’ compensation claim because this arguably occurred while he was in the course of his employment.

No Time

Life has been busy the past few days.  Seems like I am just doing the Work Eat Sleep and functioning on auto pilot.  Talked with a couple friends Tuesday and Wednesday evening.  That was nice but it took up so much time.

I was asked to gather evidence against my so called friend.  I had to search her computer and wow I found a mountain of stuff that was not appropriate for work.  It clearly shows that she was running an outside business using company time and resources, which is prohibited by most places.  Then I was going to have to testify at her unemployment hearing but Legal got me out of that.  Thank God!  It’s bad enough that I had to gather evidence but testifying is a big thing.  She asked me to wipe her computer after she was thrown out.  I told her I would do it, but knew that I couldn’t do it.  I think that she is taking comfort in the fact that I had her back but when she finds out that I didn’t wipe it she will flip her lid.  I don’t know if she will call me or if I will even hear from her again.  I did what I was asked and obligated to do in order to keep my job.  Friendship is one thing but keeping your job is another.  Had I wiped anything and that come to light I would be in serious hot water and would probably be in the unemployment line with her.  Had she been a better friend and not screwed up and thrown away a great opportunity and if they would have fired her for no good reason then I probably would have had her back.  However, she screwed me over because her performance reflects on me since I am the one that referred her to this place.  I am honestly done with her.  I will be glad when she gets  a life and moves on.  There is no way in hell she is going to win unemployment because of the pictures they have and submitted with her sleeping.  It’s different days, different clothing and consistent behavior.  I don’t know any body would say that she qualifies for unemployment.  At the end of the day, she was justly fired because she didn’t do her job.  Time to move on with life instead of trying to leach off the system and expect the world to pay your bills, because you think your owed.  No one owes her a thing, if anything she owes others.  Just hearing talk about her here and the things that people are saying really disturb me, but I keep my mouth shut and do nothing about it because it’s a done deal.

So now that I have that off my chest.  I heard back from the Bankruptcy Judge who told me that she was legally prohibited from offering me legal advice.  She suggested that I retain an attorney and make a motion with the court or I could make a motion on my own but it would have to be in proper format and served upon all parties who have an interest in the case.  I think she kind of misunderstood what I was saying.  It was simply the attorney that was retained to represent my partner has been unethical and lied to the court, is totally non responsive to any form of communication put forth by me and I have had enough this bullshit I am not paying them any more of my money.  The debt was his and is not mine.  I am not legally obligated nor responsible to pay it, pure and simple.  She did pass along a copy of my letter to the attorney that was retained, the trustee and the US Trustees Office for their consideration, what ever that means.  No one will help me so I am helping myself and let the chips fall where they may.  I don’t think anyone will come after a dead person but then again I don’t know that for certain, but we will find out.  Unless someone can make a compelling argument I am not giving them one more red cent pure and simple. 

Cats are doing okay.  Blu is so hyper and silly.  I have to whip out a camera to try to catch him playing, it’s entertaining and funny.  He knocked my Christmas cookies off the stove but thankfully the container they were in stayed sealed.  Big Boy is not going to the bathroom every day, I just noticed this change recently and I have been pretty vigilant in giving him his medication.  He will go every 2 days or sometimes 3 at the most.  It’s alarming but it’s also not because there are times when that happens to me.  He doesn’t seem like he is in any pain or discomfort so we just keep it business as usual.  I don’t see any reason to do anything different.  Toying with the idea of taking him in for a checkup but I honestly am afraid of what I will hear.  I know that I call the shots now and it’s my decision to keep him alive or end his life but I honestly don’t think that I am worthy of making that decision because it feels too much like I am playing God.  I don’t want to do the wrong thing and I will admit I am selfish and want to keep him around as long as possible.  I am hopeful that he stays with me for a long time. 

Just heard the company is buying lunch today.  Burgers and Chili so I am a happy guy.  That is my kind of food.  I was going to go out last night but wound up staying and talking with a co-worker so long that it just wasn’t worth it.  I thought about going out tonight but now that we are having this wonderful meal I think I will just go on home and if I am hungry fix myself something.  I have started to drink Orange soda at night because there is no caffeine and I figured it would help me sleep better.  I wake up early and even once in the middle of the night.  I have had a couple headaches so I am thinking my poor body doesn’t know what to do.  Total withdrawal of caffeine is horrible.  I did that before and don’t know that I would do it again.  Just trying to make things better and stay comfortable in my own little world. 

Right now I have nothing planned for Saturday so were talking a lazy day if I can get into lazy mode.  It’s pretty easy to do Monday thru Friday.  One more day and then the weekend!

Things are quiet here and I really don’t want to work but I will give in.  It’s been a stressful week.  So I guess I should prepare for lunch and call this quits. 

Life is okay but there are still some burdens that I am carrying.  I have been on the dating sites and have found a couple guys to hit up.  I am afraid of no response but I will endeavor to give it a go.  I guess that is the worst thing they could say is nothing or no.  I can’t say that I am totally ready for a boyfriend but I would like to give it a try.  Moving on is difficult and I can only hope that I find someone who was as good as what I had.  I am afraid that no one will quite live up to my total expectations but if I can find some common ground and we can hit it off then I will be okay with that.  I am not looking to get hurt and that is the whole gamble when you go looking for love.  It’s emotional bankruptcy and well I’ve been through every kind of bankruptcy with the death of my partner.  Trying to make the times happier.  I can’t say that I am over grieving or depression but I do try to make myself happy.

Stay warm, be good to each other and I will be talk with you peeps later.

Tuesday

Made it to another day.  We got our holiday bonuses yesterday, I must say I was caught off guard and very surprised.  I expected less and actually got more. 

I heard from my attorney on the house.  She said to give the mortgage company a call on Monday and they should be able to provide me with a status update.  She is going to be off or she would do it herself.  So I will begrudgingly call but I really don’t want to.  This could make or break Christmas depending upon the news I get. 

Had a decent meal last night all frozen – Fish, Broccoli w/cheese (not big on the cheese), Rice and Mac & Cheese.  Then I finished off by opening a box of cookies that was meant for the office.  Damn I am so glad I saved them for me, they look yummy and taste even better.  Plus they were $5 and not that many there. 

Heard this morning that boss man should be leaving early as in tomorrow.  He is going someplace and I don’t think he will be coming back here.  Which technically means we will all be on vacation for the remainder of the year.  If it works out like I think it will, I won’t see his face until next year and that is something I can live with. 

I have passed on some information to him that we have some outdated equipment and come Jan 1 if not replaced it will spell trouble.  He kept asking me to remind him the next day and the day after.  I told him on Monday and haven’t heard another word about it.  I am not sure if he is going to buy the stuff or not.  He wants me to communicate with him but he doesn’t want to reciprocate and I guess he feels he shouldn’t have to since he owns the place.  However, it would make our relationship go so much better.

I hear him in the office next to me with the HR person all the time.  They have hit it off and he is like butter in her hands.  I wish we at least got along and could talk like normal people instead of having purely a business relationship.  Ah well, it is what it is.

Tonight’s Supper is Soup.  Won’t be as good as last night but it is food.  TTYL.  Stay Warm.

Foggy

Today it feels like I am operating in a fog.  Didn’t really want to get out of bed and certainly didn’t really want to come to work.  I’m here, the first one in the door outside of my boss.  For a Monday today isn’t as busy as Monday’s usually are.  That is a blessing and a curse.  The blessing because I get to keep my sanity and the curse because the day will drag on forever. 

I received confirmation that my letter has been delivered by the post office ot the Judge.  Now it’s a matter of when it’s read and what action happens from here.  I just wonder what I am going to hear.

I found an interesting 3 or 4 part series about submarines.  I started watching last night.  Looking forward to doing the same tonight. 

Email is starting to come in so I guess lunch time for me is over.  Back to the salt mine.  Hope your all warm on this Monday.  TTYL

Sad Sunday :(

Just a way of saying how much I hate Monday’s.  I managed to sleep in my late partners bed.  I woke up and thought what a bad dream I had, then I looked around and reality set in.  Yeah, he is really gone.  That happens a lot but this morning it really felt real.  His room was just the way he would have kept it freezing cold.  I got under the blankets on my side and curled up.  I woke up sweating.  The only thing that I didn’t do is turn on the ceiling fan, he ran that damn thing year around.  I couldn’t stand it but he loved it. 

I rousted myself from bed, talked to the children that I fed hours ago.  They were hoping for a 2nd breakfast.  I told them it was time for me to eat and run to the store.  I did that and it felt awkward I wasn’t organized as I usually am.  I managed to get most of the the things that I will need to survive this week.   I didn’t really have any plans for supper – normally I plan something and treat myself but not today.  I did pick up a lottery ticket before I left so hopefully I will have the winner (crosses fingers).

Came home and put away the groceries.  Started back up on laundry.  Did some surfing on-line and recorded my purchases of groceries, medicine and gas.  Headed up stairs and had some Split Pea Soup for lunch.  Fed the children and called it an afternoon.  We watched Anger Management until I couldn’t take it any longer and had to take a nap.  TAZ jumped on me and decided to get in some cuddle time with dad.  He is so sweet and that was something so out of character for him.  We just got comfy and buzz there goes the damn work phone.  Some lady went out and got a tablet needed to put her e-mail on it.  We messaged back and forth for probably the better part of 30 minutes.  I did get to doze a little bit but not too much, which is actually a good thing for me.  Then I decided that I gave up and started back on work mode.

The trash has been prepared to go out tomorrow.  I got to vacuum my room.  Big Boy got a paper towel bath and brushing.  I cleaned my TV put away laundry and made the bed.  Shaved, took my medicine.  Had 2 frozen burritos for supper covered in Mild Taco Sauce with some Sour Cream and cheese.  Then finished off with ice cream and watched some TV.  I have gotten on Amazon today multiple times filled my cart and then just dumped it because well I don’t want to spend the money right now.  The kids need a new scratching post, they have waited this long another week or two won’t kill them.  So yeah that is pretty much the day.  I have already 1/2 prepared for tomorrow morning and will finish the other 1/2 in a little bit then I will be calling it a night. 

A week or so ago a friend of mine at work gave me an article that they took from Readers Digest about being happy and positive.  The gist of the article said to think of 3 things each day that you are thankful for from that day, they have to be unique.  Write them down each day and eventually it will change your mental attitude on life.  She knows my circumstances and is trying to tell me that I am in depression and it’s more than grief that I am going through.  Well lets put things in to perspective.  I lost the love of my life, the only man I have known for over 20 years who has been my rock.  I am trapped in a dead end job where I am not appreciated in words or in money by my boss.  My job seems to always be hanging by a thread and could go at a moments notice.  On top of all of that I have a sick cat at home, now I am responsible for paying a mortgage, taking care of an entire house, cleaning up and sorting out my partners belongings and managing my own life.   Plus there is the threat of losing my home and my cats.  Do you really think an experiment of journaling will help me with all of this going on?  Seriously.

I get the fact that no one wants to be around someone who is down all of the time.  The bad mood rubs off.  I’ve been there before.  I honestly don’t want to be that person.  I am not happy by nature.  I am not overly depressing by nature.  It kind of depends upon what is going on in my life that dictates my mood.  I can say that given everything I have been through this year I think I have a right to be a little pissed off and a little sad.  While I appreciate the article and the fact that you care for me, stop trying to change me and make me in to the person you want me to be.  I am me and I will NOT ever change for anyone else.  I have proven that I am capable of dealing with a lot more than I gave myself credit for, hell a lot more than anyone gave me credit for.  However, at the end of the day I have to live with myself and I don’t want to be a plastic person who walk around like a Barbie Doll with a fake smile and acting happy when I am miserable inside. 

In the words of Popeye the Sailor Man I am who I am.  I like Spinach, boys, electronic toys, cats and lots of other things.  No one can change me.  If you don’t like me for me well sorry what you see is what you get.  I try not to be too depressing at work but sometimes when you have the weight of the world on your shoulders it just gets to you.  I think if she were in my shoes she would really get it.

My hope for the remainder of the year is that I stay employed, get to enjoy my time off, and manage not to crack under pressure.  My hope for the coming year is that I will find a new job like it so much that it will help make me a happier person, especially when I look at my paycheck.  Find a man who I will love and who will love me.  That I can manage to keep this house and my animals.  That I can get a new car and get rid of a lot of shit around here.  Winning the lottery is always a dream and is welcome anytime the Good Lord wants to bless me.  Money won’t buy my happiness but it sure can make a lot of my problems disappear. 

I will be back again soon.  Stay warm and enjoy the ride!  Good Night to one and all!

Tired

It is late and I am so ready for bed, if a key gets stuck you will know that I didn’t make it to bed and fell asleep in front of the computer. 

We got dumped on with snow.  3 or 4 inches in my neck of the woods and worse elsewhere.  I was sent home on Friday at 12:30 – I didn’t bother to work I took it as I was on standby and if anyone called I would have responded.  Thankfully no one called.  I enjoyed a burger and a bowl of chili which filled me up.  Then I got to take a winters nap and cuddle with the children.  Kind of odd being home so early on a Friday but it was rather enjoyable.  I got their food before I came home.  It was your run of the mill boring Friday evening. 

Saturday…I woke up late by design.  Fed the beggars, Got a little food in me, caught up on some YouTube Videos and then I had to get dressed and go out.  I got my hair cut and went to the expensive grocery store.  I was able to pick up a Pyrex Measuring Cup thank God it was like the best thing I got outside of the Blueberry Fruit Bites.  I went a little crazy but this was a small trip.  I still have to go regular grocery shopping tomorrow.  Plus stop for gas.  Any who, since I haven’t gotten an e-mail or a text in 3 days I figured I should check on my PO BOX.  Yes there was mail, looks like the alerts are broken, which I didn’t want because that means I will have to call then and I really don’t want to do that.  Nothing major it was all junk mail, except for Big Boy’s medicine that I ordered.  Then I came home and unloaded the groceries.  Had me a nice big bowl of Campbell’s Hearty Beef Barley Soup.  It was really good!  Finished with the fruit bites and then a nap.  Yeah this is living!

I’ve been on and off the computer all day long.  Cleaned my bathroom, which I had been putting off.  Washed the kids laundry which consists of a blanket and a towel. The blanket covers the couch and the towel the love seat.  They are happy as clams so why disturb them.  Mr. Blu is so wound up I have to go shopping for some toys for him – like a new scratching post.  The ball with the bell in it was great until he decided to start playing with it last night while I was trying to sleep.  Weekends are a free for all where I leave my door open and kick no one out.  That is until I wake up and they are all bothering me for food, it’s 6am and I don’t have to be anywhere – out time for sleep. 

Had a Tombstone Pizza for supper and watched Diggers a Disney Movie.  Kind of interesting.  Worked on my laundry and passed out treats.  Big Boy’s digestive system must not be treating him well.  He stopped going to the bathroom for a couple days and then started up again.  Now he is leaving little presents all over the place and I am not too happy about that.  Read a newsletter today that said that is a sign of a problem.  Really?  Who would have thought that?  He is sick and I get it, so I just clean up after him and try to keep him clean.  He still has a lot of love left in him and I have no plans to get rid of him until his quality of life no longer exists. 

Changed my cell phone case out today.  I was using 1/2 white from a case I gave my late partner and 1/2 blue.  It was a reminder of him and it looked cool.  I switched to all blue and it looks strange now.  I almost feel like getting a different color but if it bothers me that much I will just switch back.

No hits on the dating sites.  One site said that the Men were hot for me.  Yeah, I don’t see that right now.  I mean maybe I will get a date out of this but I am seriously starting to have my doubts.  I am wondering how anyone meets up.  There are hot guys on there.  One made a move on me and I hit him back no response.  I made a move on another guy I thought was hot and he hasn’t bothered to respond.  Kind of depressing!

Speaking of depression, I will be headed up to the bedroom but not before brushing my teeth and passing out kitty medicines.  Tomorrow is my last day of rest for 5 whole long days.  Then I get 2 days off, work 2 days and get 5 days off.  Work 2 days and get 5 more off.  Then it’s back to 5 days a week.  I just hope that I am able to enjoy my time off without anyone or anything bothering me.  I need to be free to be able to do what I want to and not worry about anyone else.  I look forward to being with my friends on Christmas day but I am not so thrilled about Christmas it’s self or the 27th which would be our 1 year anniversary on our Civil Union.  To think last year we were getting hitched and this year how things have changed.  It’s all like a very bad dream.

That is all the babble I wish to do at this time.  Stay warm, well and be good to each other.  I will talk with you peeps again soon!

Dancing Boys–NSFW

Thursday…one more day

Tomorrow will be the best day ever!  Why?  Because it’s Friday.  Plus it’s supposed to bring bad weather to the area in the afternoon.  The woosies I work with will complain and we will get to go home early or so I hope.  That is the only perk of working in an office of all women, well that and make up tips if you wear make up.  I don’t! 

All thought I think I accidentally bought some makeup.  I got some Cherry Lip Shimmer from Burts Bees.  It goes on and turns your lips really red, resembles lip stick to me.  Doesn’t seem to aid in healing but it’s got that Burt’s Bees tingle to it.  All I know is I put it on last night and it looked weird, plus some got on my face but I fixed that with a tissue.

My allergic reaction is still with me.  I am dying!  I called my allergist but they haven’t bothered to call back.  I could call my PCP but figure he will just say come in.  So I guess I am better off either suffering it out or stopping in at a local urgent care.  I did find some pills that I was given the last time I broke out in hives.  It’s called Atarax and all I remember is it knocks you out cold.  I slept pretty close to a day.  If I get off early tomorrow and feel adventurous I will take one.  I find myself waking up in the middle of the night scratching, I know I am not supposed to but it itches.  The work day isn’t that bad – morning sucks at first but after a shower and some lotion it’s better soon.  Then about 2pm it starts up slowly and by 5pm I am ready to climb the walls.  I thought Steroids would help me but much to my surprise they haven’t had that big of an effect.  I opt by caution and took a low tapering dose but maybe I need to kick it up a notch.

Speaking of which I ran out of sandwiches for work.  I stopped at a gas station tonight wanting to pick up a cold cut sandwich and they had nothing.  I left and went to a local fast food place where I proceeded to purchase my supper and lunch for Friday.  I dropped $13 which I think is a little high for a couple burgers and an order of onion rings.  They were good but expensive. 

Looking to treat myself tomorrow but not exactly sure how – maybe stopping off at Bob Evans and having some amazing chili that sounds really good.  Maybe I will give in.  Not sure yet.

Well the big discovery of the week is the huge blow up that my boss had about the legal issue I am working on.  Turns out I didn’t mess up after all.  However, I can’t tell him that.  He will think I am a loon and I think it’s just better to let it lye.  I asked for Admin rights to our e-mail and was denied.  Plus he asked me to write a high level overview of the company from an IT perspective.  Both of which don’t bring comfort to me.  I honestly think I am on my way to being thrown out.  There is no ad that I can find listing my specific job but not a whole lot there surprises me.  The feeling is in the air and it’s been there for a while.  I can only hope and pray that I land something before that happens.  That will be a major focus for next year, looking for a new job. 

I mailed the letters yesterday night on the Bankruptcy.  I gave the attorney the benefit of the doubt and thought that he may just come through.  Well he didn’t.  So I did what I had to do.  The chips are going to fall where they may and I can’t help it if there are repercussions  - this isn’t my debt and unless the court can convince me otherwise I am firm on stopping payment. 

No word from the hot guy on the dating site.  I did get a 22 year old looking at me.  That was kind of a booster.  I’d chat him up but he is like a million miles from me.  I think it would start trouble for me and lord knows I don’t need anymore of that.  It’s been a year of trouble, one after the other. 

I am kind of out of thoughts, other than knowing I want to get upstairs and watch TV.  Oh, the furnace is still off kilter.  I believe it’s the logic board in the furnace it’s self.  Nothing more than a motherboard but the last time we had it replaced it was $1,200 that was more than 5 years ago I can only imagine what happened to the price since then.  Right now I am just floating on a wing and a prayer.  Nights are really warm and mornings are really cool.  I am hopeful that it just keeps working because spending money right now isn’t something I want to do unless it’s absolutely necessary.  I am living on borrowed time and savings – not a good combination.  If I get to keep this place I won’t mind spending money on it but right now the least I can get by with the better off I am.  I am fighting until the bitter end but I am totally on the fence for how this will end.  I just hope I can live with the outcome and keep my furry family. 

Speaking of the munchkins they want food so I need to run.  Talk with you peeps later.  Have a great weekend!

Itch and Scratch

Two words that rule my life right now.  I gave in to Steroids this morning.  Been in the bathroom a little bit but the big rush will hit tonight.  It always does.  They drain almost every ounce of water out of your system.  They make me feel hot and moody but that has to be better than the misery I am in.  Talked with a gal at work she suggested Aveno Products.  She said that she loves them and got her husband to use them.  Give it a couple days and things are much better.  Well I will look into them if I am still scratching tomorrow afternoon. 

Had to work the full 8 hours but I was busy.  Technical problems abound.  Very little time to think about anything but work.  I had some breaks but they were short lived. 

I made an adjustment to the Thermostat this morning before I left and the house is doing okay.  Give it 24 hours and I should know for sure if it’s fixed.  You can’t do without heat in the winter especially when it’s bitter cold outside.  I put the electric blanket on my bed and turned it on last night.  Momma jumped up there and she loved it.  It wasn’t until she heard the pop of a can of food that she had the desire to leave.  Cats love heat for some reason. 

Junk in the mail, threw it all away at the post office.  I went to Amazon again last night got a couple of HDMI cables, that goes with my Christmas gift for my friends and one for me.  Picked up some Water Filters for the kids, some medicine for Big Boy and got some lip balm for me.  Didn’t do that much damage and the shipments are split up because they are coming from different vendors.  So it will almost feel like Christmas when they arrive.  Oh I got some Allegra Cooling Anti Itch cream.  I could sure use that today!

For some strange reason I have been really upbeat all day long.  I hope this mood lasts a while because depression was killing me.  Makes me not want to sleep because I am afraid my mood will change tomorrow. 

I polished up my profile on the on-line dating service I joined for free over the weekend.  I have answered like 900 questions, no kidding.  I answered even more and also realized that auto correct screwed up part of my profile so I fixed that.  I got a message that my profile was approved and according to their system gay guys really want me.  Yeah okay then how come no one has messaged me yet?  I took the first step tonight and reached out to the cute guy that caught my eye.  I’ve been thinking about him and looked at his profile once more before I asked him out.  The system indicates that he replies often so we shall see what he has to say.  I’m not holding my breath.

Just remembered that my mom gave me some Aveno Oatmeal Bath packets.  They are years old but right now I am desperate so short of going to the hospital I think the bath is my best bet.  The redness is gone but the itch isn’t.  When I scratch the redness comes back.  I guess now I know what momma is going through. 

If I am still in this good mood tomorrow evening I will be headed to the bar for Taco Tuesday.  It sounds really good and it’s cheap so why not.  I am so hungry right now.  I blame the steroids but usually my appetite doesn’t pick up for a couple days. 

Take care and I will talk with you peeps again soon.

The Seasons for Snow

Yes, we have snow and some ice – the world didn’t come to an end.  Thankfully the work day ended early on Thursday & Friday both days we closed at 2pm.  Hardly worth me driving over, but it all pays the same.  Looks like we should have more snow tomorrow so maybe another day of closing early.  If not I am not sure I can make it through a full 8 hours.  Kind of depressing when you think about it.  Ah, well Mondays are chaotic so chances are good that the day will fly right by.

I got my $250 check yesterday and it’s in the bank.  I had to part with more money from savings to pay a credit card bill and to get a reserve in place for the mortgage. 

I have done a lot of laying around and watching TV.  My new ROKU box.  Which just reminded me to purchase a couple HDMI cables.  I did that so no need to remember.  Love that Amazon dot com. 

Yesterday I went for a massage.  The place that I like to go finally got a massage therapist.  I walk in and ladies are standing around a counter.  There appears to be an elderly customer and all of a sudden they turn to me and say can we help you?  I said yeah I am here for a massage.  You guessed it.  The elderly lady looked at me and said hi I will be doing your massage.  Now she looked old but she was probably in her 60’s which is far from old.  We got to talking and she asked me if I ever heard of cupping.  I thought of the percussion thing that is done on your back to loosen phlegm.  Nope, she was talking about taking a glass globe, putting a ball of alcohol in it and lighting it on fire.  Then she would place it on my back.  The flame would go out and it would form suction on my back.  It would help get out the impurities.  They normally charge extra for this but she wanted to know if I was interested.  Well my back has been extra itchy and I figured maybe this would help.  So I said yes. 

The cupping began and it felt good.  I can only imagine what came out of my back.  Last night I looked at myself in the mirror and it looks like I got into a fight with a vacuum cleaner.  My back is covered with bruises or in this case hickeys.  It is very sore – I just hope it heals before I have to take my shirt off for anyone else, looks hideous.   As if that isn’t bad enough I left the oil she put on my arms on and went about my day.  Turns out I found out the hard way I am allergic to it.  I itch like no tomorrow.  For all I know she put Poison Sumac on me.  I broke out the cortisone cream  this morning and that helped a little.  Now it’s time to break out the Benadryl and if push comes to shove Prednisone.  I would go straight to the steroids but prefer to use them as a last resort.

I have decided that I am going to stop paying his bankruptcy.  The attorney he retained has been non responsive to my e-mails and letters so I figure he must no longer care.  I am giving him a couple more days and if he doesn’t respond then I will be mailing off a letter to the court and explaining how he is not representing his client effectively and that he has lied to the court on more than one occasion.  As if that won’t get some results there is a second letter to a disciplinary committee that deals with lawyers.  So he will get a 1 – 2 punch.  I don’t give a shit.  We haven’t exactly been pals.  He handled my bankruptcy and we had words.  So he isn’t my favorite person in the world.  Not to mention I feel he has lied to me and that I could have gotten out of paying all this time.  Right now the next payment is due the last week of the month.  It will NOT be paid.  That won’t cause a problem.  When next month rolls around and there is no payment then the Trustee will issue a 45 day letter saying you haven’t made your payments and you have to get current by X date or the case will be dismissed.  If we get to that point that is where there is no turning back pay and I would be okay or stop paying and the case is dismissed, which gives the creditors rights to come after his estate.  Now he is dead and I really can’t imagine that any creditor would pursue collection on a debt from a dead man.  So that is the whole purpose of writing the court to find out if there is relief for me to prevent the creditors from doing anything, i.e. a hardship discharge.  I mean he made his payments and I have made 8 of them so it’s not like there wasn’t good faith shown.  He didn’t plan to die and I didn’t plan on him dying before his case was completed.  So I feel that I deserve a break.  Not exactly sure what this will get me but I know I am playing with fire.

Speaking of Fire.  I saw a movie on Netflix called Burn.  It’s all about the Detroit Fire Department.  I liked it so much I watched it twice.  I am really turned on seeing fire in a building.  If the lighting is just right it can look beautiful.  However, thinking about the damage that is being done I don’t wish fire on anyone or anything, other than a candle to burn bright!  If you have Netflix I recommend the movie.

Mr. Blu is full of energy.  I wish I could bottle it and save it for the work week for me.  I wish I had that level of stamina.  Anyway he is knocking things off the fridge and walking on the power strip to my entertainment center.  So my DVR doesn’t record anything all day long because it’s turned off.  He has knocked over a keepsake urn of my late partner and also a teddy bear that was given to me as a gift by my late partner.  I went shopping at Petco for a mat that has rubber bumps on it.  The cats walk on that and don’t like it so they move away – which is the idea.  So I am ready to pay and this guy says I can take you over here.  Okay, he looked fine.  Then he asked me for my phone number so he could look up the rewards card.  I so wanted to say can I have your number?  I didn’t.  Funny thing is he couldn’t get his words out after that.  Perhaps he was falling for me.  I don’t know.  Probably just a case of tongue twisting.  I walked away normally but kept thinking about it.  I wanted to go back and buy something just to have another interaction with him and ask him out, but I didn’t. 

Speaking of guys, I joined Ok Cupid via my iPhone.  Neat service lots of guys to choose from.  The part I hated was all of the damn question I had to answer.  My arm got so tired.  I had to stop and start again the next day.  Finally when my arm began to hurt again I stopped and said I’m done.  I’ve given this thing enough information about me it should be able to find me a match.  I’ve got guys looking at me from far and wide.  No one close.  There is one guy I came across that I can’t stop thinking about.  He would have sex on the first date but I on the other hand would not.  I say that now but who knows how I would react in the heat of the moment.  I have been thinking about reaching out to him just to see if we could hit it off.  I’ve made it clear that I am looking for a very Long Term Relationship in my profile.  So it’s not a matter of hooking up or a pump and dump.  I want a man – someone who can cook and someone I can come home to each night.  It will be difficult to move on and find a replacement for the man I lost but it’s the natural thing to do and I know in time it will happen.  I am so afraid of rejection or things not working that I am almost paralyzed to make the first move. 

I got tired of the Holiday Guy.  The photo was far too large for the blog.  I saw a photo of some Underwear models and snow, much more festive and a better cropped photo so I replaced Holiday guy with the models.  My heart may settle on one man but I think my eyes will always be looking and dreaming of the next man.  Dreaming and acting are two different things.

Yesterday I woke up and the house was cold.  I looked at the thermostat and it said 71 but the house was set at 75.  Why wasn’t it heating?  I turned it off and back on, presto problem solved.  I went about my business and returned to my slumber.  When I awoke again I was in the same boat.  I repeated the process from before and problem was solved.  I figured okay time to buy a new thermostat.  I ventured over to my local home improvement store picked one up and came home.  I got it installed and the AC part worked great.  The heat well not so much.  I finally got it working and took a nap.  All that work wore me out.  Now you see why I need Blu’s energy.  Anyway, when I woke up you guessed it no heat.  Huh?  I tried to make it work again reviewed programming and even called the 800 number but no luck.  The fan wouldn’t even come on.  So I put the old thermostat back, reprogrammed it and got it going again.  I took the new one back this morning.  The old one is still acting crazy but I set it on a high number and put it on hold.  It’s doing a decent job of keeping the chill out of the place.  So I suppose I will leave well enough alone.  No sense in trying to fix what isn’t broke. 

It’s 5pm here so the children are hungry and I have things to do still.  Time for me to run.  Talk with you peeps later.  Hope your staying safe and warm.  2 more weeks and then Christmas will be here.  I am so looking forward to it. Not Christmas but the time off and the free meal at my friends house.  It will all be over so fast but I am going to try and savor every moment from the time I get off work on the 24th to the 29th when I have to go back.  Only for 2 days and then I don’t come back until next year!  After that it will no doubt, suck!

Happy Holidays!