Something for everyone..a long long post!

Today’s mail brought me a letter from the IRS. They have a tax payer advocate division. I wrote the President of the US along with my other elected officials last month. I explained my situation with being unemployed, having to use my savings, the huge tax bill I got this year and how unfair it was to tax and penalize people who are unemployed. It’s a time of hardship and therefore we should be exempt. Well, I was expecting a response directly from the President but instead his staff forwarded my letter off to the IRS. Apparently there must be something they can do to help me. I’ve already paid my taxes but I am giving them the information they want, I mean it certainly can’t do any harm at this point. I’ve never heard of a Government Agency giving money back once you paid, but maybe that can and will happen. I don't know. It will be a couple months before I know anything. There is probably a lot of red tape to go through.

My partner had a trip to the dentist today, he got a filling so he couldn’t eat on one side of his mouth. He wanted soup and I suggested a place that we went to last week, he jumped all over that. No gas in his truck, it was hovering above E. We made it to the gas station and I paid for gas. $60.00 total but $9.00 of that was for a car wash and for buying it I got 20 cents off per gallon. We have 14 days to use the wash, which I am sure we will do. Rain is in the forecast so no sense in doing it now. A first today when I opened his fuel door a wasp flew out. There was a small nest on the inside of his fuel door. So glad I didn’t get stung. I knocked the nest off with the gas pump. Ugh, it’s that time of year again bugs!

So off to the restaurant we went. He got 2 bowls of French Onion Soup, which is one of his favorites. I can’t stand it. I got Potato Soup and a Turkey Wrap which was really a lot of lettuce with a little turkey wrapped up. Since he was working on his 2nd bowl and I was done, I got desert. Crème Brule. It was a small portion but it was damn good. Wish I had more of it now. Anyway, he went to pay and I took his card and replaced it with mine. He was not expecting that but he was thankful.

Since I saved him so much money he said we needed to go Grocery Shopping, which is why I saved his money. However, we were both way too full so we came home instead.

Everything outside has come to life and everyone’s lawn is green. I hear a lawn mower running at least once per day. In case you’re a new reader we hire a local guy to cut the grass. He is probably all of 30 or 32 years old and very cute! I love to cut grass but my allergies are what holds me back. So we got rid of our mower. I’ve been paying this guy for a couple years. I really like looking at his bum, even if he is straight. He just had a baby and I am expecting him to raise prices. I know he will be knocking on the door any day now, I hope that prices stay the same but with the cost of gas I don’t know. I won’t be able to pay him too much more that is until I get a job. The plan is to wait him out and if he decides to raise prices too high then I will buy a mower and sneeze myself to death, but at least I will save money. Right now it won’t be too bad, but in the dead of summer it will be horrible and a task that I loathe much like grocery shopping.

I got a call last night from a friend who asked me what does it mean if your Blood Sugar is 1,000. I said probably that your meter is broken. I heard nope that’s not it. I said well then it’s time to visit the hospital and quickly. Turns out it was a relative of hers. That person was at their doctors office and the reading came back, the doctor sent her to the hospital. It was totally amazing that she was lucid, walking and talking. She is in critical care doing okay. She will be on insulin for the rest of her life. Turns out she is a very sick person, with many medical problems.

I was diagnosed in 2010 with Type II Diabetes and put on oral medication. I watch what I eat a little bit but I have to have my sweets in moderation. I drink a lot of water and some Diet Soda. I never knew you could get sugar readings that high. I know blood sugar is nothing to play with. Diabetes does really screw with your body and can mess you up in more ways than one. I have lost some weight but if I exercised, watched my diet more closely I could probably get to a point where I stopped the medication. However, I am not that motivated. I am scared of the disease. My hope is that once I get a job there will be some physical activity there and that will help me to get in better shape.

From time to time I like to write about hot guys. That’s where I’m headed now. Last night we ate at Arby’s because my partner wanted to try their Ruben. I caught this kid out of the corner of my eye picking up trays. I say kid he was probably 18 to 20 years old. Damn he was fine. He knew I was looking him over. I think it made him nervous. We got our order and I sat in a seat where I had a good view of him. He went behind the counter and then he started bending over and showing me his butt. Oh my. I wanted to make a move right there but I always figure one that my judgment of age might be off and two he might not be gay. So I just drooled and ate my food. Then another hottie came in and changed clothes into his work uniform in the bathroom. Makes me wish I had to go. He wasn’t as cute as the 1st guy but either one of them could have rocked my world.

So Jeremy you have a partner and your looking at other guys and even thinking of having sex with them? What is wrong with you?

Relax, I will explain. First of all I think that all guys eyes wonder regardless if your gay or straight. The same might apply to women as well. Back around 2002 he was discovered to have Rectal Cancer. To cure him they had to do surgery and that meant he was left with a Colostomy and now he has no anus. They removed a lot of stuff during that surgery. A side effect of the surgery is that he can no longer get and/or maintain an erection. Regardless of how much Viagra or Cialis you give him it’s physically impossible due to the surgery. However, he still plays with it and tells me it feels erect. Considering his Stoma is close to his penis, the thought of sex is a turn off for me.

We still have a sex life, if that is what you want to call it. He takes care of me and that gives him satisfaction. However, I can’t please him enough. He is, was and always will be a super horny guy. You would think he was a teenager sometimes the way his hormones act. He is several years older than me and even age doesn’t stop him!

With all that has happened he understands how I feel and I’ve been given permission a long time ago to go find someone. He even talks about finding someone for me from time to time. I’ve lasted this long by watching porn. While I obsess over guys that I see out and form crushes, I can go from guy to guy. There was only one guy who was a waiter at a local restaurant back in 2005 that I fell in love with at first sight. He knew I was interested in him but he was so not interested in me. It got to the point that when we would come in, we would get sat where he didn’t have to wait on us or if we got his section he would ask co-workers to cover our table. My partner knew all about him but despite the treatment we kept going back because I wanted to see him.

The thought of going at it with another guy really turns me on but actually doing it I think would prove disastrous to my relationship with my partner. I mean some folks can do one night stands but I don’t think I am one of those people, even thought you wouldn’t know it by the way I talk. Sex changes everything and doing it with someone other than my partner I think would cause more problems than it would solve. I honestly do wonder sometimes if I will ever do it again.

After something becomes your norm, you get used to it. So sex for me is a bit of a problem but I honestly have bigger issues (no pun intended) to deal with. Namely getting back to work and watching my money.

So another worry since I’m talking about it is the death of one of our cats. I refer to him as Big Boy, he is a 35 pound domestic cat. He stopped eating for a while in 2010 and went into Liver Failure. We poured money into him like you would not believe. The vet wasn’t optimistic but they cured the Liver Failure issue. He developed an Idiopathic Thoracentesis, which causes fluid to build up in his lungs. He has problems breathing and every so often we have to go get the fluid tapped out. Originally the thought process was this was cancer but tests proved that was no the case. Today he is on steroids and I give him a nutritional supplement called Rutin. The prognosis was maybe we would get a year out of him, but expect very little. Each time we take him back the vet says, wow he is still alive! Yeah.

The steroids have contributed to him gaining weight. He looks very swollen and has some issues with walking. Plus to move around can tax his breathing. He usually gets all worked up in the litter box and winds up stressing himself out and breathing really heavy, from his mouth. I have to calm him down and make sure he gets back to normal. Plus due to his size he can no longer bathe himself. So he takes care of the front (his paws, face and ears). I take care of the back and while my bathing him is not his favorite thing, he is thankful that I am taking care of him.

Big Boy is the sweetest cat you could imagine. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. When he was younger he used to play with his brother. They are inseparable, even to this day. His brother knows he is sick and takes care of him. Plus they do play together from time to time. Mostly it’s a cats life of eating and sleeping.

Euthanasia or putting him to sleep is an option that I have pondered but it is something that we can’t bring ourselves to do. He still has life left in him. He’s not messing all over the house, he knows enough to use the litter box and he eats on his own. Pretty much a normal cat. I know this fluid problem has taken years off his life and that eventually he will either die on his own or we will be backed into a corner and have to end his life.

Earlier in 2010 we had to put down our first cat that I refer to as #1 son and we were determined not to loose another cat. Death is the worst part of pet ownership, it’s the worst part of being human. I don’t understand why anything has to die and I’ve got problems dealing with death. Death enters everyone's life sooner or later. The longer you can put off being exposed to it the better equipped I think you are to process it.

Okay so I’m starting to depress myself and I’ve already typed way too much. So I will just bring this to a close. I know a lot of what I typed is repeat information for my regular followers, but part of the pain of starting over is bringing everyone up to speed. Talk with you peeps later. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blather!