Jazz Hands

I’ve pretty well survived the week, taking it one day at a time. Some days were more stressful than others. There have been busy times and some lulls but they don’t last long. Gator has finally made her way into my office multiple times this week. She starts out crowing up stairs and when I ignore her long enough, she comes downstairs and starts, I just bellow out to her and she eventually comes waltzing in. Then I get a mouthful and we go back and forth. She will either convince me to come back upstairs and get her a snack or she will waddle away in disgust and continue to make noise.

I think she might be holding out some hope that her brother will immerge but I think that hope is dwindling as the days go on. She is sleeping with me, under my feet and pretty much glued to me unless she is passed out and I managed to escape. I refer to her as Gator Glue because she sticks to you stronger than gorilla glue. It’s a mighty strong hold. I love her but she does get under my skin with all of the yowling. I leave her in the kitchen eating and go wash my hands or use the restroom and she loses her mind and thinks that she is all alone in the house. It’s sad and irritating at the same time. I am glad that we are in a force to work from home situation or she would likely be much more depressed or so I think.

She still does the wake up calls in the middle of the night but has learned that is a quick way to get booted from my room and once the door closes it doesn’t open until I am ready to get up. I know how much her and her family hated to see a closed door, it was one of the worst things in the world.

My sleeping is back to as normal as it gets for now. I plan to enjoy tomorrow being able to sleep and do what I want since it will be Saturday. That will probably suit her better since we will be together. I need to get her food and pick up the mail, but I am in no great big hurry. I’ve already proven that can all be done in one day. Plus, I need to venture back to Sam’s water softener salt is in.

I’ve discovered that Barney Miller (old tv show) is on YouTube and I’ve watched a few episodes. Takes me back to my childhood. Plus you really see how differently things were done. I also love the theme song it’s all jazz based and while that isn’t my first love of music it is enjoyable to me. Most every video regardless of what it was that I viewed on You Tube has started with a political ad. They are also running extra hot and heavy on local TV. I am so eager for election day so the ads will end. Don’t get me wrong I am very interested in the results but I can’t stand the political ads, they get to me each year and since I am trapped at home this year it just seems worse.

My area is back on lockdown since the positivity rate has surged as it is in most parts of the US now. People are losing their minds because their kids can’t play fall sports. There’s much more to life than sports but I understand the argument and frustration. It will be great when one day life will return to normal because there is a vaccine for this but until then we all have to dig out our patience and try not to lose our minds. I know it’s much easier said than done.

Halloween is tomorrow and it’s really hard to believe this month is over with. Seems like this year has just drug on forever and that is only because we have been trapped at home. There are some doubts if we will get to celebrate Thanksgiving in a restaurant or have to grab carry out and be relegated to home. As long as I am with my friends and my gator all will be well.

Next week I get to be on-call again and Monday I have my teeth cleaned. It’s been a year and a few months which never happens under normal circumstances. Here’s hoping that next week is quiet and uneventful for me.

I hope that you have had a great week, are safe and with those that you love. Stay safe and be well! I’ll talk with you peeps again soon.

In case you were wondering, here’s a video of the Barney Miller theme song.

Last Hurrah

I’ve wanted to go out to breakfast while I have been on vacation but it never materialized.  This morning I made it happen and it’s a darn good thing too.  Looks like were headed back on lockdown in my neck of the woods because the positivity rate is spiking.  I stopped in at my local Cracker Barrel and much to my surprise the place was packed just as if there was no pandemic.  Of course there were safety precautions in place and not nearly as many tables as there would be if there wasn’t a pandemic.  It’s the first time I have been in the dining room since before the pandemic hit and it kind of felt good. 

Not sure if there is a war with Diet Dr. Pepper but it appears to be disappearing.  Cracker Barrel replaced it with Coke Zero.  Totally not the same thing but it’s better than Diet Pepsi.  I hope that Diet Dr. Pepper stays on the market even though it may not be widely as available in restaurants. 

I got in the normal cat food and grocery shopping and by the time I got home I was tired.  I’m way out of shape and physical activity isn’t my friend or so it appears to me. 

Gator was eagerly waiting for me to come home.  We spent time together in my chair.  Then I looked at her and she looked at me and I said the words nap time.  She jumped from my lap into my bed.  I was like right on!  We passed out for a very short cat nap before she became vocal and demanded lunch.  I tried to delay her and go back to sleep but she was persistent as per usual.  That worked to my advantage and I think she knew that. 

We both took in lunch.  I got some vacuuming done and finally threw away what used to be Marv’s treats.  That was really tough but it was time.  It’s not like they were going to get consumed by Gator.  I didn’t vacuum by my chair on purpose because that is where Marv used to lay.  Gator goes over there and sniffs the carpet now and then.  I want to preserve his scent for her, I know in time it will fade and eventually I will run the vacuum there , just not today. 

As I am writing this I realized you don’t know the lab results I got back.  The vet phoned yesterday afternoon and told me that Gator has the early stages of Kidney Failure.  Her levels are very mildly outside of the normal range and I was told it’s nothing to obsess over but you know that is exactly what I am going to do.  I think it’s stress but the vet says that this wouldn’t be caused by stress.  Funny thing is that stress affects everyone differently.  It does make me wonder if she is in any pain.  I was told the important thing is to keep her on wet food, make sure she always has access to water and stay away from dry food if possible.  She should get re-checked again in 6 months.  I will probably take her back then but it will depend a lot on how she is doing.  She is after all an old lady but she still acts like a kitten in many ways.  The good news is that her thyroid is perfect and so is everything else in her blood work.  I wish those kidney values were normal as well.  Who knows maybe next time they will be better.  Still I am beside myself and very concerned about her. 

I am working on laundry and need to run my report for work, then it will be time to move back to the upper level and spend the rest of the day with Gator before Monday morning comes calling in all it’s glory at which time I will reluctantly return to work.  I hate like hell to go back but I have to it’s not like there is a choice to be made.  I am going to figure out how much extra time I still have left and try to burn it if possible before the year is out, better than losing it. 

Happy Sunday and I hope that your doing well.  Talk with you folks again soon.  Stay warm and be well. 

Ramblings of the week

Thursday

My first day of real progress. I got the running I wanted to do done. I hit up Rural King on the advice of my friend who says that is where they get their cats food at. Holy cow I thought I might get mugged. It’s like a Walmart but only worse. Hillbilly City is what they should call it. It was also in a rough part of town. I was able to get a decent amount of food on the cheap, so no need to hit up the cat food store on Saturday.

The post office was supposed to be holding my masks that I ordered but they hadn’t yet put a note in my box so I’ll check back tomorrow. I’ve also got a candle warmer & candle coming that Amazon said would be delivered today but the post office says won’t be in until Saturday. I’ll have to get up early in case it is delivered because I’ll probably have to stand in line to get it. Otherwise, it will be a Monday thing.

Made it to Target for Cat Litter, some of the casserole that I like. I came back home to wait for my big delivery of the day, which was my new Mont Blanc Rollerball Pen. I watched a map and it said they were 2 stops away. I got distracted and then came back and it said it was delivered. It was delivered but just not to my address. I called Amazon and they said they would have to wait 24 hours to see if it surfaced and to get details of where the driver delivered it to. You have to be kidding me. You take photos with GPS of most every delivery when I order inexpensive items. A $300 pen and there was no photo taken. I tracked it down as it could only be 1 of 2 other places. My subdivision has a common name to it and all of the streets start the same. There are also 2 other houses that share my street number. I went to the first one and it looked like a trap. No cars in the garage, garage door up. No packages delivered. It was like they were inviting a burglar over. I got out of there and went to the other address. People started looking at me funny but I walked right up to the door and grabbed my package. There were two other large boxes that were there but I didn’t disturb them. After the fact I looked and noticed a video door bell. Great I figured now someone will say you had a porch pirate and I’ll be going to jail because Amazon couldn’t do their fucking job correctly. That video door bell also means I can’t fuck Amazon over and say I never got it. I mean in theory they didn’t deliver it to my address so I should not be in possession of it but because I helped myself I have it. To add insult to injury Mont Blanc started a new refill line for the pen I bought and it takes a capless refill which is shorter than a standard rollerball refill. They always ship pens (regardless of the manufacturer) with black ink. I despise that and much prefer Blue. I had to order refills and Amazon says they will be here tomorrow, but only if the driver does his job correctly. I’ll bet you they take a picture of this delivery regardless of which address it’s at, only because it doesn’t contain an expensive item. I really wished that they would have used UPS, even required a signature. Years ago, I ordered 2 MB pens (1 a pen and 1 rollerball) they were sent via FedEx and I had the shipment held at FedEx so I could pick them up because I knew I wouldn’t be home. It was a little bit of a hassle but worth it for the peace of mind. UGH Amazon!

I did spend a fair amount of time with Gator and she is still bossing me around and a bit clingy. She took a bath in the water bowl again and then walked up to me and I got to pet a wet cat. YUK. She permitted me to be downstairs for several hours before she started her yowling. I’ve come and gone a few times during the day. She is always in the same place when I get back and sleeping. We even took a nap together this afternoon in my chair. I think she is adjusting to the change that started 1 week ago today. I think she is still seeking out her brother or hoping he will spring up but that won’t happen. Lots of people tell me I need to get her a companion. Unless the vet says she is showing obvious signs of being lonely and needs a companion that won’t be happening. I don’t want to introduce her to another cat and take a risk of rejection or incompatibility unless it’s necessary. I talk to her and with her both about what happened with her brother and the big step tomorrow is going to bring. She gets to see the vet. I know she will be less than thrilled but I need the peace of mind. I know she is waiting for me right now at the top of the steps so I am going to place a period here for now.

Friday – Saturday

That’s some long period because it’s now Saturday. Friday’s visit to the vet went well. From all outward appearances my girl is healthy. She has some mild tartar on her teeth and some arthritis in her rear legs. We did blood work to make sure there is nothing else inside going on that would have otherwise been missed. It was an expensive visit but thus far I have some additional peace of mind. I am eagerly awaiting her blood work results and hope for the same good news. She is still very clingy and bossy. Those are personality traits that I don’t think will leave and have gotten stronger with the loss of her mother and brother. Just as long as she can get around the house, jump, eat and be comfortable is all I care about. I want as much time with her as possible.

No sooner than we got home from the vet they called and told me that Marvin’s cremains were back. I knew that would happen and was kind of hoping they would have brought them out to me with her so I didn’t have to make a trip back but that wasn’t the case. I took a nap and gave it an hour then went back.

After I left the vets office for the second time, I did my additional errands. Hitting up Sam’s club only to find out that they rearranged the damn club. I had problems finding everything but the bakery. I wasn’t able to locate Water Softener Salt and according to the web they are out of salt. I will make that adventure trip again when I see it’s back in stock. I’m not running out any time soon but like to maintain stock. I also saw they had paper towels but the web said they were out of them. I did manage to locate soda and stumbled across furnace filters. Then on to the hardware store where I picked up 2 bags of rock and some light bulbs. Then it was back home.

I sat for a bit with Gator and then decided I should figure out supper. I wasn’t going to navigate for pizza that is a Saturday/Sunday thing. Instead I thought Steak N Shake sounded good. I got there walked in the door and found out that it’s takes out only. That didn’t sit well with me but I went to a local pasta restaurant. I was greeted by a sign that told me reservations were required. Another couple was waiting at the door and they knew but forgot to make reservations. The place took pity on us both and told us to come in and they would seat us. I got a decent meal … minestrone soup, garlic cheese bread and cannelloni washed it all down with 2 diet cokes. I spent more than I had intended but it was a very good meal on a very cold day.

Back home and while I needed to get to the office and get some things done, I opted instead to just spend the night with gator. She slept in her bed and wasn’t aware I was even in the room with her for the most part. Turn out the lights to go to bed and she is wide awake and thinks it’s time for food. Silly girl has her days and nights mixed up. Just wait until next weekend when time change occurs that will mess with all of us.

The mail brought a letter to my late spouse from a local person, I thought I knew what it was because he got something similar a couple years ago but since I didn’t know I opened it and yeah it was the same thing. A letter from a local person and a pamphlet inviting him to find Jesus but it required money. Next time I won’t be curious and will just send it back. He’s been gone for 6 years if he isn’t with Jesus then there is no hope, he will make it now. I got my candle warmer and candle, my masks (which were made in China) and a card from a co-worker. Amazon brought me my blue ink for my pen and a gift from the folks at work. It was a small cat cast in what looks like concrete with angel wings on the back. It’s beautiful and I was really touched. I will write my thank you note on Monday when I go back. Which I honestly don’t want to go back, I could use another week. Especially since I hear that this past week was super messy and there will be tons of crap for me to catch up and clean up, I am not eager at all to return and start to dig in. However, that is the price you pay for leaving for a week.

As for Saturday, I got up fed Gator at 6 or 7 then went back to bed. I got up by 8 looked to see what was going on in the world. Looks like someone has once again compromised my credit card but the jokes on them because the card was locked and the transaction was declined. I know for a fact no one has the physical card number because I only use virtual credit card numbers, those too are locked. Right now, I am not going to report anything because I haven’t been charged for anything I didn’t approve/order. Otherwise, nothing else major going on. I had some pastry and a large glass of milk, then watched some TV and back to bed. That weighted blanket I bought is really great, not sure if I will break out the electric blanket at all this year but time will tell. I woke up at 11a and decided that I should get moving. Catch up on logging my purchases in the checkbook, setup my candle warmer and of course make a blog post. I will be headed out in a while to grab the mail and hit up the pizza place. Then it will be another average evening with Gator.

Plans for the usual grocery store run tomorrow and cleaning of the house. Then to enjoy the last day of vacation as I plan to return begrudgingly to work bright and early on Monday morning. At least I am not physically leaving Gator so that helps a lot and I am grateful for the time I had with Marvin while being required to work from home. It’s helped me and also hurt me. This week was the most active I have been in getting out of the house in months. It feels oddly good but I am in no hurry to return to normal.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.  Below is a photo of my new pen and the cat angel I got.  I placed the Cat Angel on top of Marvin’s urn. 

I hope that all is well in your world and that your safe, healthy & happy. Thanks for stopping by we will talk again soon.

Reluctantly adjusting

Ms. Gator & I are reluctantly adjusting to this new normal. It’s very strange not having Marvin in the house. She is beside herself in wondering when he is coming home. I left this morning (Saturday) to go to the post office to get my 50 pounds of rock, when I came back, she was hopeful that I was bringing her brother in the door, but it was just me. I am still drying my tears here and there. I think about what was, what I should have done different and ultimately if all of my actions and decisions were justified. By in large I have no qualms with the 2 major decisions I made. The first being to give him additional time and the second being to end his life. He absolutely got the best care. I do think that perhaps when the week started off and he wasn’t eating we probably should have been the vet then and perhaps called things quits to avoid the 2^nd clot but I had no idea that the clot was coming and figured that since he was on a blood thinner that his blood wouldn’t clot but that wasn’t the case. I saw the signs his body was showing me, simply that it was tired and it was in the process of shutting down. I know that he was 16 years old and time worked against him but I still can’t help but feeling like I have been robbed. Two in one year is the harder part to stomach. I had the depression and grieving over my loss of Momma and was able to quickly put that behind me and now I am having to deal with it all over again over Marv.

I hit up the cat food store on Sunday. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t give the treats a look because there is no need to purchase them any longer. They were just for him. Gator eats them once and a while if she feels like it. Otherwise it was all Marvin. When I first introduced them to the cat clan everyone was bananas about them. Eventually only the boys would eat them, but if Momma saw no one was around she would stop and grab a few while keeping her head on a swivel.

Saturday, I went to Red Lobster. I had a small wait for a table. Found out that they made some changes, like they no longer carry Coke products. They no longer include a salad with pasta, it’s extra and it’s a much smaller salad. I ordered a Pina Colada and it took forever to get it, I started to wonder if it was ever going to arrive. When it did, I took my first drink and raised my glass to Marvin as I wiped a tear from my eye. I leisurely drove back home and of course on my way back I got a chirp on my phone that work needed me. That didn’t make me drive any faster I was in a F everything mood. I had a decent time with the sun roof open the windows cracked it was the perfect weather day. Of course, I should have taken advantage of it to do outside chores but I am relying on the fact that there will be a tomorrow, if there isn’t well it won’t bother me terribly much.

I had the above mostly written a few days ago and while I do jump days, I wanted to post what I had. I’m adding on to it a bit so stay seated and the ride will continue.

Gator has had this thing where she is waking me up in the middle of the night and while I am on vacation or the weekend is here it’s not a major problem. However, next week when I am back to work it’s going to present a problem. She is also grating on my last nerve asking for attention or losing her mind when I am away from her for a second. I have waffled on what to do. I did some research and based on what the internet tells me she could have a thyroid problem, diabetes or just simply be getting old and then upsetting the apple cart with the loss of her brother. She is the very last tie to my late spouse, to Momma’s family and I am certainly not going to short change her. She is pretty good at adopting the skill her mom had in bossing me around. It’s the wake up calls in the middle of the night, the water chant (yowling and trying to cover up the water bowl) that absolutely upset me. I called the vet reluctantly this morning and made an appointment for her. It’s going to cost a small fortune because you and I both know they will want to do blood work since she hasn’t been there since she was 5 and she is 16 now. God forbid if there is something going on with her, I would rather know about it up front than walk into a surprise. She is behaving otherwise as normal but this will help get me some peace of mind. Of course, it could all blow up in my face but life is about choices and risks, we all have them each and every day. I’ll let you know as soon as I have an update. The appointment is on Friday afternoon and I don’t expect blood work to be back before Monday but it may happen.

Speaking of Monday, as in yesterday. I didn’t do much just loafed around the house, felt sorry for myself. Tried to get some sleep and Gator would allow me an hour here and there then she wakes me. I started browsing on Amazon and I went hog wild and bought things that I wanted instead of needed. I got Razer headphones, a new Mont Blanc pen and a weighted blanket. The headphones and blanket came today. I don’t know how well I will like the blanket but I’m trying it out tonight. The headphones are great. The pen won’t show up until Thursday. Last night reality set in when I started logging my purchases and I moved some money around to pay for them, I didn’t have to do that but it’s what works best for me. I’m glad that I have it to spend it’s when you spend it and don’t have it that there is a huge problem. These were all retail therapy purchases. They are designed to momentarily distract me from my sobering reality and make me think about something else, until that turns into a fleeing moment and I am catapulted back to reality. I have yet to change the wallpaper on my phone from Marvin’s photo of his head resting on my arm and his paw extended. It’s a photo that I took about 3 to 4 years ago and I convinced myself that if I changed the photo, he would die on me. Well now he is gone and I can certainly change the photo but just haven’t brought myself to do that. It’s another step of closing out his life, just like picking up his treats and vacuuming the last of his fur out of the carpet. I don’t want to do it but it’s not going to change anything. He is gone forever and don’t get me wrong I have grieved horribly over the losses of the others but Marvin & Momma both touched me in a very special place and it’s hard to keep moving forward. I have lots of emotions swirling around and processing them won’t be easy but I know that I will get through this.

Tomorrow I will be getting my hair cut for the first time since this pandemic started. I’ve been cutting it myself but this time I am going back to the pro that I am used to. That is one of the few places I run to when something is wrong. I could have my hair freshly cut on Monday and something tragic happen on Tuesday, Wednesday I would be back in the salon if only for a shampoo. I do retail therapy but not to the excess I did this time. I also eat but surprisingly I am having to force myself to eat.

I have been craving Mexican food. I went to the restaurant I wanted to visit this afternoon. I had the whole place to myself and a damn cute waiter. He had some mega sexy buns. He was also oddly very nervous around me and while I wanted to make a move I thought this might not be right, it could just be his personality and I am reading something into this. I ate, paid the bill and left. Oddly enough before you can get a seat you have to provide your name and phone number to the hostess for COVID tracking purposes. That was a first but I guess it’s going to get more common place as that shit show continues.

I had also put a call in to my doctor about something stronger for sleep and as per usual he threw up his hands and said there isn’t anything else I can prescribe. I paid to see another physician via video chat and he prescribed an antihistamine that is also used as a sedative for surgical procedures and to help people with insomnia. I am not a fan but it was something different. I’m not a fan because it knocks me on my ass and sleep is all you want to do; I have had it in the past to treat itching/hives. Perhaps this time things will be different. I was told it should provide me with 8 restful hours and then I should be normal. Since I have a hair appointment tomorrow, I don’t want to chance it. I will try it for sure on Wednesday night because there isn’t anything going on Thursday, other than Amazon deliveries.

Tomorrow night I am also going to meet up with my friends for dinner. I am just waiting for a time and place. It will be a change of pace. I’ve also mapped out a list of places I need to visit and what for. I really wanted to get my ears pierced but I have nixed that for now. Maybe I’ll indulge myself over the Thanksgiving break as I have my next full week of time scheduled to start the week after the holiday. It’s something that I have always wanted to do and I’m a bit scared that it will hurt but I am more scared of the after care and if it will look right on me. I make no promises but know that it’s on my mind to be considered pretty heavily.

I oddly have been away from my computer except for my morning report and then a short bit in the evening. Gator starts yelping and that usually brings things to a close. She is happiest when she can see me and I am in close proximity to her. I’m glad that when Monday comes going back to work won’t mean physically leaving the house. I don’t think she would survive well if I was gone for 8 hours.

Well I am going to goof off and surf for porn then it will be back to my room and the never-ending challenge of trying to find something to watch on TV. You’d think with all of the channels I have and subscriptions to boot that this is a problem that wouldn’t exist but sadly it does. I did take in Lewis Black’s newest special on Amazon last night, he wasn’t nearly as funny as he has been but it was a great show and worth the money.

Finally, sorry if my absence caused any of you to worry or wonder about me. This is a rough time and my desire to do much of anything is pretty well gone, especially since I have the whole week off. It will be gone in a flash and then I will be back banging my head against the wall with the stupidity of working for a living. I honestly don’t want to go back but have no choice if I want to be able to take care of myself and my Gator. Thanks for stopping by I will talk with you all again soon.

End of the road

It is with profound sadness that I inform you of the passing of my Marvin.  He had a second blood clot this morning which rendered him blind and he was also having cardiac issues, I was faced with the tough choice that many pet owners are and made the decision to end his suffering. 

Today has been a very difficult day and I am dealing with the situation as best as I can.  I am much more concerned about how his oldest sister, Gator is taking it.  I feel horrible but watching her and talking with her is gut wrenching.  My hope is that both her and I will get comfortable with the new normal we have been forced into. 

Exactly what I didn’t want to happen, did.  However, I bought my boy an extra week and five days.  He ate good for the last two days.  I now know that the signs I was seeing earlier in the week was his body starting to prepare for the inevitable.  I did inquire that if I didn’t make the decision to part ways today what would have happened and was told that within 24 to 48 hours he would have passed regardless. 

I miss my boy so much and am really numb to what happened as it was quick.  I got to spend time with him and comfort him before he left this world.  I am forever grateful for the extra time as well as the fact that he came into my life.  16 years is a very long time and it feels like I lost a part of me but I know with time this wound will heal. 

Feeling Thankful

Hey everyone – it was a very long night for me.  The pain medicine that I gave Marv to help calm him down has a side affect for him that is new.  Once the drug takes hold his hind limbs are paralyzed.  I had to carry him to my bedroom, which he wasn’t terribly happy about.  Then he let me know by looking at the water bowl and back at me that he wanted water.  Pretty smart, huh.  I brought the bowl over to him and he went to town wetting his whistle. 

From as best as I can tell (minus using the bathroom) he’s back to the same old Marv I am used to.  I haven’t seen him use the litter box but I am fairly certain he has.  His appetite and thirst are both way up.  Crossing my fingers that I don’t have false hope and that this is the calm before an even bigger storm hits. 

If he didn’t know it already, I love him very much and I think he is well aware of that.  I am enjoying every moment I can spend with him because I know he is up there in age and eventually we will part ways.  For now all appears well and I’ll happily take this as a win.  I have a vet appointment for him on Saturday but if he continues down the same path he is on and all appears normal then we won’t be making that visit. 

Given the affect of the medicine, he had that on board when we went on our early AM emergency vet run a week ago.  I think that a clot is highly possible but that his paralysis was do to the drug I gave him.  Most cats that throw a clot that hits there rear legs don’t fair nearly as well as he is.  I’m not saying the vet is wrong, I’m saying I am not that lucky.  Marv surely is!

Talk with you all again soon. 

Bump in the road

I’m not sure if we (Marv & I) hit a bump in the road or if Marv is dying.  He didn’t want any cat food that I put out this morning.  I did manage to get him to eat some Ham Baby Food.  He drank some water this afternoon, but wasn’t really interested in lunch.  He has also been hiding and he did immerge when he heard my voice this afternoon as if he was expressing an interest in lunch.  I think he more wanted to see me.  I spent time with him when I had my lunch break.  I gave him a small amount of fluid because I don’t have a lot left.  He’s also got an appetite stimulant.  That pill can take 24 hours to kick in but you can’t give another one for 3 days.  This is a miracle drug in that it has helped me out of a lot of sticky situations where a cat didn’t want to eat.  It’s one of my last resorts. 

Unfortunately, I am well versed in the signs and symptoms when a cat is going to die.  While Marv is exhibiting some of these signs I can’t rule out dehydration. 

I don’t want to flog him if it’s his time then ultimately it won’t matter what I do or do not do, as death will win.  In human years he is 80 which is quite old and in cat years he is 16.  I am debating now if I want to engage the vet or if I should wait and observe a little bit more.  I really don’t want to lose him and have done a pretty good job of holding myself together.  However, at lunch time I simply broke down at the thought that his death could be imminent.  The vet would of course be able to give me a bit of greater insight and if it’s dehydration I can easily give fluid at home. 

Gator is a little bit upset as well and I’m not clear as to why.  Me thinks she is trying to tell me something, but it’s possible she doesn’t feel well either. 

I love them both and the thought of losing either one of them is terrifying but sadly I know that eventually be a reality.  I’ll keep you posted.  I am certainly hoping for the best outcome. 

Happy Thanksgiving–Canada

If you’re in Canada I hope that your enjoying Thanksgiving!  It’s a great time of year to pause and reflect on the many things you are thankful for.  This includes but is not limited to things that we all take for granted.  Many years ago, I had an employer who started a tradition, everyone had to post one thing they were thankful for.  I liked the idea back when I had a family, I introduced the idea, sadly it fizzled over the years but when I hear the word Thanksgiving, I can’t help but reflect back on that time. 

Normally I would be wishing my Canadian Blogger friend a Happy Thanksgiving but she passed away early this year.  I’m thinking of her as well as her family.  I hope that she is at peace and that her family is doing as best as can be expected. 

Pretty soon it will be Thanksgiving here in the USA.  We don’t have to wait for a holiday, we can be thankful each and every day for something, someone or a circumstance that we were able to overcome.  When you think about it the possibilities of things and people to be thankful for is kind of endless. 

Here’s hoping that your all doing well, taking care of yourselves and enjoying this fine day even if it’s a Monday.  I’ll talk with you peeps again soon, be well!

The Weekend

I started watching Insatiable on Netflix.  Apparently there are only 2 seasons and from what I just read on-line it doesn’t sound like there will be a 3rd season.  I’m glad that I got interested in this or I probably wouldn’t have known Michael Provost who plays Brock Armstrong.  Damn he’s one fine looking young man.  If your looking for a show to occupy your time, consider this. 

I also paid to watch American Pie Girls Rule on Amazon but didn’t find out until after the fact that it’s playing on Netflix for free.  I had a credit on Amazon so it was only $3 but still it’s the fact.  The movie was good for some laughs especially if you watch it with family or friends.  Sex and sex toys are front & center.  Again well worth your time. 

I got out on Saturday to grab the mail and pick up a prescription.  I wanted to stop by the pet food store but my blood sugar was falling rapidly so I came back home and found some food.  All I did all day long was watch TV, nap and enjoy time with the kids.  We enjoyed each others company. 

Today I hit up the grocery store, cat food store and went out for pizza.  Plus cleaned the house and did laundry.  It was an enjoyable day.  In case your wondering I got another Italian Sausage & Spinach Pizza but threw in Black Olives.  It was very good and there is plenty left over for a couple meals, plus the vehicle got a work out and I got some sunshine and alone time.  It was really fun!

The JBL ear buds I got are listed on sale on Amazon for $50 less than what I paid.  I am close to the return window.  I opted to hit up Amazon Customer Service but they won’t issue credit like say Target or Walmart would if an item goes on sale within 30 days of you purchasing it.  Instead they told me I would need to return the item and place a new order to get the lower price.  That is a lot of damn work.  I opted instead to file a dispute with my credit card company, since it’s Amazon branded I doubt I will get any satisfaction but it’s worth trying.  I am not going to return them and then place a new order.  If I send them back they can keep them.

I still have my eye on the Bose Quiet Comfort ear buds but they don’t release until the 15th and they are damn near $300, which is a lot of money in my book.  Yeah since my salary is returning to normal I can easily afford them but I am fighting against my desire.  I saw the Apple Ear Pod Pro’s on sale and they are temping as well. 

I’m headed back up to enjoy what’s left of my evening with the kids before I have to return to work tomorrow.  I’ll be on-call for the week and then come next Monday I will be on vacation for an entire week.  That means I can take off in the middle of the day and get some pizza but I think next time I will opt for pasta & garlic bread, someone placed an order for that just before I left and it sounded really good.  Maybe throw in a salad so there is some health food there.  LOL. 

I hope you enjoyed your weekend whatever you did.  Today is National Coming Out Day and congratulations if you came out.  It’s a big step to take and just because there is a National Coming Out Day doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.  Only you know your circumstances and if it’s safe to take that leap.  If you didn’t take the step that’s okay, you can always take it when it feels right for you be it tomorrow, next month or when ever. 

Stay healthy, take care of yourself and please vote!  Talk with you peeps later.

Cybersecurity & Smart Sex Toys

October is Cybersecurity awareness month.  You might be scheduled for some training at work or you might be reminded about typical things to lookout for like phishing emails and the like. 

I came across an interesting article as it relates to both cybersecurity and sex.  There are some guys who practice chastity by locking themselves in a cage.  The old fashion way was a cage and a small padlock went on, your master or partner kept the key to ensure that you remained faithful.  This is a turn on for some guys and a company developed a remote controlled cage that can be locked and unlocked via your smart phone.  Turns out there is a flaw in their app and you could wind up getting locked in permanently.  I know ER doctors see a lot of strange things but could you imagine being locked in this device and wanting free, so you turn to the local ER?  It’s got nightmare written all over it, not to mention it the embarrassment and laughter it would cause. 

If your interested in this, take a gander at the article that Techcrunch posted https://techcrunch.com/2020/10/06/qiui-smart-chastity-sex-toy-security-flaw/  If your not interested but curious to know what the cage looks like, a photo appears below.  The one safe thing about all cages that I have seen or heard of is that they allow you to go to the bathroom but you just can’t get aroused or you will be in some pain. 

If your not familiar with it there is a technique called Sextortion.  You get an email from someone who claims to have watched you pleasure yourself while watching porn, they have video of you and screen captures of you.  They claim to have installed a virus on your machine and tell you not to report this to the authorities or they will know.  Unless you pay x dollar by x date they will release the video to everyone in your contacts.  I’ve gotten a few of these emails myself and I don’t deny watching porn.  The joke is on the sender though because I don’t have a webcam.  Most people though are embarrassed and concerned.  I am sure that someone has paid the ransom or demand because this is a semi popular technique that has been used for a while.  I found an interesting article and thought I’d share that with you as well.   https://www.brookings.edu/research/sextortion-cybersecurity-teenagers-and-remote-sexual-assault/

I don’t think that cons, scams and schemes will ever stop because of greed for the almighty dollar.  However, the one thing that most criminals think is that they are smart and won’t get caught.  I am pretty certain there are a large portion of people who don’t get caught, especially on their first offense, but that builds confidence and eventually if your dumb enough to keep doing the same thing you wind up getting caught in the end. 

Hope you enjoyed this and that your doing well.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps again soon, be well!

Hummin along

Mr. Marvin is still doing well (knock wood). His legs were warm this morning, I check them several times throughout the day. They have remained warm thus far all day long. I am thinking but not certain that the clot or whatever was causing the circulation issue has resolved. I am over the moon with his progress and so very thankful that I made the right call. Now lets hope that he and his sister will keep hummin along for a very long while. Regardless of how long that while is, it will be too short in my mind. As your never ready to part with a loved one or a pet.

You might not understand why I seem to obsess over my furry friends. Then again you might get it. In short, they are the only children I will ever have and that is how I view them. It was natural for me after they were born to refer to them as the kids. I would talk about them in conversation all the time and refer to them as the kids. That caused lots of confusion with many people and they actually thought we had children. These furry beasts are my reason to live. They not only keep me company but they listen to me talk, they talk back and they are entertainment at times. We each depend on the other and the love goes both ways and is and will always flow strong. Just because a good portion of the furry family is gone doesn’t mean I have stopped loving them. They each have a special place in my heart where they will forever remain.

On a different note, I had a freshly prepared Chicken Pot Pie from the grocery store. It was made with fresh crème and I had to bake it in the oven. It was absolutely the best pot pie I have ever had. I wanted more but thankfully I only bought one. That was Monday. Early Tuesday morning I got a wake-up call from my stomach and I have been unwell ever since. I was dehydrated last night and severely tired. All I did yesterday was drink. I had a normal breakfast but didn’t want to eat lunch. I had French Bread Pizza for supper last night and that settled pretty well but the madness continues today. I feel better overall but I still have issues today. My hope is that this will soon cease. I mean I wanted to lose weight but I want off of the bathroom train. I’m sure your asking yourself why doesn’t he take something for the symptoms. The answer will baffle you. My body will turn against me, it will solve the immediate problem but then in a couple days I will get sinus sick and I really don’t want to start on that merry go round. It’s a matter of choice and some of patience. If things get unbearable, I will give in but were not there yet but it’s getting close.

I saw a great movie over the weekend on Netflix. The Boys in The Band. It was great and very entertaining. I have the desire to watch it again. There is also a behind the scenes that is on Netflix. That gave some additional insight into the movie that I wasn’t aware of. If your looking for something to watch please consider this, I think you will enjoy it.

Apart of the above, life is otherwise normal. The best news came late Monday morning. We were all informed that our pay will return to normal effective with our next check. We had previously been on a mandatory pay cut since Summer, this was to avoid layoffs or furloughs. It’s welcome news, especially with the holidays around the corner. There also was a question about our usual holiday bonus and we were all told to expect something. The bigger question that remains is the money that was deducted from our checks, will we get it back. That depends how well the year closes for the business, if we do as well as is projected then that is a resounding yes but we have to wait. I am all about pay returning to normal. That will help me out a lot because it was starting to be a bit of a struggle.

Boss man is on vacation and my desire to work is low. Although somehow yesterday and even today have flown by. I need to take some time to work on a dreaded monthly report and have yet had a chance to do that. It’s like that Todd Rundegren song I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day. Speaking of not working, another week of time off will occur for me on the 19^th. I say time off rather than vacation because I will be working if only for an hour each morning.

On with the rest of the work day, only an hour left and then the fights are on tonight, I’m of course referring to another debate, this time the Vice Presidents square off. I am not as interested in this as I was the original presidential debate but I may watch, if not I know for certain I will hear about it in the news. I hope there is more order present and it doesn’t turn into the nightmare the former debate was.

I hope that your all doing well and taking good care of yourselves. Enjoy the cooler temperatures while they are around. Old Man Winter is coming and I personally hope he brings me some snow. Talk with you peeps again soon.

Sunday update

  This photo was taken from the internet and is a very close representation of my Marvin.  Sometimes it helps to put a face with a name.  He is still showing positive progress signs and has used the litter box for #1 and now #2.  His appetite is on fire and he is constantly asking for food.  He is drinking and getting around the house really well.  You can tell there is one leg that isn’t working that well.  In the morning both of his back legs are cold (paw pads), by the afternoon they heat up a bit.  It’s not normal but it’s also not ice cold.  He is sleeping well and I noticed when he dreams all of his legs but 1 move with him, at least that was the case this afternoon. 

I really feel like this is a small blessing and I’d like to think we are out of the woods and that all is going to be okay.  However, I am frantic and obsessive over this and can’t help thinking of losing him.  It’s in my dreams, my thoughts and now in my writing.  I am scared and just want a hug and some reassurance from a human.  Knowing everything I do today, I absolutely feel like I made the right decision.  Had I just listened to the vet today I would be very sad and wouldn’t have known the progress my guy would make.  I guess that is a testament to me in that I don’t give up.  You might knock me down but I’ll get up again. 

I’ve been by Marv’s side for a good portion of the day.  I also spent a fair amount of time sleeping.  I took a muscle relaxer last night to ease the tension in my shoulders and neck, toss in a sleeping pill for good measure and it was any wonder how I managed to get up at 6a and pass out breakfast.  I went back to bed for a bit and then by 9a I was up eating my breakfast, passing out breakfast #2 for the kids and then off to the grocery store.  Came back home and sat on the couch with Marv and we watched some TV and I caught up on social media.  Then I grew very sleepy but I waited for Marv.  He wanted down from the couch and I obliged and then went back to bed.  I didn’t get up until a little after 1p and tried some Brownie M&M’s.  They are very good if you like Brownies you’ll enjoy them.  Passed out lunch for the kids. 

We have been on the couch off and on.  I elected to skip my usual Sunday routine and just operate on a get by schedule.  I wanted to keep things calm and stress free for now.  The vacuum cleaner raises the blood pressure in the cats and I figured they could use a break. 

I came down to do my work report which I will get to in a bit and then it’s back upstairs for the remainder of the evening.  I’m thinking about frozen pizza or the fresh made chicken pot pie I picked up.  I wanted chili but forgot to buy it, silly me.  Overall, I feel a bit better but like I said earlier could use a hug.  I think perhaps getting back to work tomorrow might be the best thing for me.  It’s set to be a busy day, two large meetings to attend plus whatever else Monday throws my way.  Here’s hoping that it’s much calmer than it’s been the past two weeks. 

I hope that you have enjoyed the weekend and are doing well.  I’ll talk with you peeps later.  Take care!

Saturday & Marv

I wasn’t surprised that I had problems sleeping last night as Friday was quite the eventful day.  I figured out why I had those problems a short time ago when I went for some dental floss and discovered I forgot to take my sleeping pills.  Yeah that would do it.  I was out by 11p and up at 2a.  I watched some TV, since Gator woke up her brother.  Then back to bed by 3 or 3:30a.  Then up at 6a to pass out breakfast for the kids, to make sure Marv got his meds and then I watched a little more TV and back to bed I went.  I got up at 10a and had some Eggo Blueberry Waffles topped with Blueberry Syrup.  It was really good and washed that down with a large glass of Chocolate Milk.  Ah, that of course caused a sugar coma which I was all too happy to indulge.  My neck & shoulder have been bothering me from sitting in front of this computer.  The added stress with Marv’s event didn’t help things at all.  Sleeping has helped but there is a huge knot on my shoulder that I need to work out so it’s going to be a bit before my pain goes away.

As any pet owner would do I turned to the internet, which can inform but also scare the shit out of you.  Just type in the words cat rear leg blood clot and you will get a wealth of information.  I read a couple articles and it doesn’t sound like a lot of people are interested in treatment when this happens, it’s usually a death sentence for the cat.  That said if you pursue treatment it’s possible that once the toxins that have built up from the blood clot can also kill your pet once they begin to circulate throughout the body.  In particular there is usually a huge dose of potassium and that is the likely culprit.  Odds are also that Marv has a heart problem.  Most cats don’t show any symptoms and while being fine just suddenly throw a clot and whale in pain.  It’s a very distinct cry and I promise you once you hear it you will wish you could unhear it.  It’s a sound that you will never ever forget. 

Based on the research I found and read.  It sounds like Marv did have it mildly rough and this was as they suspect a small clot.  Chances are good that once there is a 1st clot that there will be additional ones.  It does sound like the outcome will be grim but it’s totally possible for him to overcome this.  I am absolutely petrified of what the future has in store for me and my furry friend.  He was in fact slightly dehydrated.  The blood work was mostly normal, but not completely.  A vet was suppose to call me to discuss but it doesn’t sound like that is going to happen. 

Where we are as of today.  Marv loves sitting on the couch with me.  I plug in the heating pad and it warms his rear legs as well as the rest of his body.  He just melts into a deep sleep and stays there for a long time.  His appetite has increased heavily.  He is using the litter box.  I’m waiting for him to go #2 the last time he did that was on Friday afternoon.  He seems over all content and has even gone back to hiding under the couch.  I am smothering him with attention.  From what I see outwardly he appears fine.  However, I do wonder if he is hiding some fear deep within.  We had the talk which is basically where I told him that he’s got a fighting chance just like everyone else had and that if he wants to tap out to let me know.  I of course told him that I love him and that I will never stop loving him.  He sought me out and bonded with me.  My late spouse called that to my attention and I thought he was kidding around but it was true.  He really loves me and isn’t terribly fond of others but he will tolerate them.  I look at photos of him when he was younger and had more meat & fat on his bones.  I just want to sob.  I don’t know how much time we have together but I do feel that we will be parting ways sooner rather than later.  At the moment he is stable and doing okay.  The hind limbs are still a bit chilly but they are slowly warming.  I’ve got my eye on him and he knows it.  Hopefully, that brings him some comfort.  Plus the best thing of all is COVID because it allows us to be together in the same space 24/7 except when I have to step out for his food and my food.  I’ll keep you posted and am certainly crossing my fingers & praying for the best. 

Gator has some stomach issues, plus she is limping again.  I think she likely has arthritis but it’s possible that she pulled a muscle.  She hasn’t been to the vet in years since she was a kid.  Unless something causes me to take her in sooner, I am eager for the COVID thing to clear so that I can walk into an exam room and be with her.  I think it’s probably a good idea to get her checked out since she is likely going to be the last one to go.  I want to keep her (as well as her brother) around for as long as possible provided they have quality of life left.  If I can remember I am going to try to start her on Cosequin to see if that doesn’t help her limp.  I’ll be sprinkling it on her food.  Her late sister loved when I did that with a probiotic.  Gator however like any other cat goes by sense of smell and if something is off by smell with her food, she won’t touch it at all.  I kind of think she is super smart.  She threw a fit again when I jumped into the shower this afternoon and she of course was very vocal when we were up in the middle of the night.  If we ever have to play hide and seek, I don’t want her on my team because I’d loose for sure. 

I came down to briefly accomplish my work task and escape for a bit.  I am going back up after that so I can maximize time with my furry friends and hopefully relax in the process.  I hope all is well in your world.  Take care and we shall talk again soon. 

Quick update on da boy

I went up for lunch, I mean to feed the cats.  I didn’t get lunch for quite a while after that.  However, I was in a meeting and took it upstairs.  I placed Marv on the couch on the heating pad.  He turned into his usual wet noodle self and stayed on the couch sleeping for about 20 minutes.  Then he had enough and wanted down.  I returned him to the floor. 

Eventually I collapsed after eating, I had to get in a quick nap but am unclear if I actually went to sleep or not.  I had a lot of interuptions from work.  Prior to coming back to work at Marvin’s direction I checked his paws.  This was about an hour after he was on the heating pad and his back paws are warm again.  I don’t know if this will stay but I’ll take what I can get. 

I also noticed that his thirst has increased drastically.  Then it hit me.  3 causes of ataxia in cats.  1 – blood clot  2 – heart problem 3 – dehydrated.  While there may be a small clot or a clot trying to form, I really wonder if he isn’t dehydrated.  I went through something similar with his mom but I never felt her paw pads, in her case the front legs went the direction she wanted and the back legs did something different. 

I’ve reached out to the vet to inquire about the “basic blood work” that was part of the emergency visit and if there is/was any evidence of dehydration.  I am not opposed to keeping him on a blood thinner but if this is simple dehydration, I will need to ensure that he stays hydrated.  Being on pred. causes an increase thirst and I never really gave it a second thought until I was trying to sleep and all he was doing was bouncing around the house and drinking like a fish out of water. 

Fingers crossed that the improvement continues.  Stay tuned. 

My Marvin

It’s official I am back on the emotional rollercoaster. Marvin has apparently thrown a small clot that has affected his hind legs. They are cold when you touch his paw pads. I went through the cold paw pads earlier in the year and started him on Cosequin and a heating pad. At that point I was able to get his legs to warm back up and he has always walked funny since one of his knee sockets didn’t form properly at birth. My late spouse said he has a hitch in his giddy up.

This latest event started last night. Gator had been on my ass meowing off and, on all day, long. When I went to take a shower is when she lost her mind and things went from bad to worse with her. She was in fact sounding the alarm, hey stupid there is something wrong with my brother and you need to fix it pretty damn quick. It took me a bit to put the pieces of the puzzle together but I did.

Marv had come over to the couch earlier in the evening as he normally does and wanted up to spend time with me. He stayed for a short time and wanted back down. I didn’t think anything of it. When he walked away and sat in front of his treats trying to eat, he let out this loud obnoxious cry which told me that he was in pain and I got it right away. I went over and looked at him and some how knew to focus on his back legs. They were ice cold. I knew we had to fix this pretty quick, so I grabbed the brush and started brushing him. He hates it and fought me, that elevated his heart rate and the blood started pumping. I got a lot of fur off of him and his legs started to warm. I gave him a pain pill to help tide him through the evening.

When I was done with my aforementioned shower, I found him in the kitchen dozing in front of the water bowl. That was strange because he is normally in my room at that time. We all have our routines and schedules to follow. I opted to check on him and he seemed okay. I went back to my room to start watching TV and 15 minutes later there wasn’t a cat in sight in my room. That is totally abnormal, they flock to me. I went back to the kitchen and the water dish, there was Gator & Marvin snuggled up together like they used to do when they were first born. Another sign something is wrong. Gator eventually bit him on the ear. I don’t know if that was her way of saying buck up or if it was get out of the way I want water. Marv took a drink and then sat idle. I knew I needed to get him back to my room. So, I picked him up and carried him there. He wasn’t terribly happy about it but settled in just fine once I placed him on the floor next to the water bowl in my room.

Marv started to doze off as the pain medicine I gave him was kicking in. I hate to see him doped up but I knew he needed this. I monitored his paws and they were returning to a cold state, which is not what I wanted. I massaged them a bit and began to wonder if he was paralyzed. He crawled to the water bowl and was struggling to get his back legs to function. I don’t know how but I managed to keep it together and not let it bother me. I think at this point we should have gone to the vet but I was tired and could hardly keep my eyes open. He had been through enough and I turned on a night light to help illuminate my room as I tried to sleep. It took me a long time to fall asleep but it was around 11p when I called it a night. I was up several times in the early morning hours. I finally got out of bed at 4a when I saw Marv all curled up in a ball. He was trying to warm his feet and that wasn’t working. Plus, he doesn’t curl up in a ball when he sleeps.

I approached him and he sprang to life, which I kind of wasn’t expecting. He was very much awake, alert and oriented. He managed to some how get up and limp away from me. I was able to feel and see that his back legs were cold. That’s when I picked up the phone and called the vet. I knew I had a horrible situation on my hands and the outcome was probably grim.

COVID restrictions prevented me from being with him, a nurse came out and scooped him up. I was forced to wait in my vehicle and the vet called me. We talked for an hour. There is no definitive test but based on clinical presentation, he is exhibiting symptoms of a blood clot. They think it was small since he still has feeling in his legs and some mobility. He was actually walking much better for them, than he did for me. I needed to make a choice to either call it quits or bring him home and start him on a blood thinner. I am thankful that the vet that took care of him was so informative, I kind of knew what I was going to do but the vet told me that if it was her cat she would call it quits now while the getting is good, as this has the possibility for him to rapidly negatively decline to the point where I have no options left and ending his life would be my only choice.

I’ve been through some shit in my life and seen a lot. My cats mean the world to me and I will do ANYTHING for them. I gave everyone else that I could a fighting shot and it would be unfair to Marvin to just walk away and give up. I know that things don’t sound or look good. However, if I didn’t give him a chance I would always wonder, what if. I had the same battle with Momma earlier this year. It’s highly conflicting, stressful and emotionally exhausting to make a life and death decision in the blink of an eye but sadly this is not unchartered territory for me.

Marvin has a chance that being placed on a blood thinner his situation can improve. The thinner will NOT dissolve the current clot. It will however keep new clots from forming. There is a chance his body will adapt to a new normal and the small clot that has formed will dissolve over time. I’ve got something to hope and pray for. I don’t know that my chances are good but were giving it a try.

I brought him home and got him some breakfast. He was all too happy to start eating. I grabbed some breakfast myself while trying to find the closest 24-hour pharmacy. I got his medicine filled. I was told that it would be inexpensive. 7 tablets $40 I don’t call that inexpensive. I talked with the pharmacist and she added a discount code that dropped the price to $16 and I was all too happy to pay that. The discount will stay on his profile so if he needs more, I won’t have to pay full price, which is really nice. He only gets one fourth of a pill, which means chop the pill in ½ and then chop the ½ in ½ and there you go. 1 time a day so 7 pills will last close to a month. It takes a couple hours to take effect and of course will build over time.

Cats are highly likely to throw clots at any given time. I didn’t know this and kind of wish I knew this prior to this event. Clots tend to go towards the back legs and it’s very painful and it results in parting ways with the animal. If they are in the wild, their legs will simply die from lack of blood flow and eventually they will to. It sounds like a slow and painful way to go. I’m glad that Marv is mine and an indoor cat.

I returned back home, gave him his medicine and then opened another can of food as a treat because he was such a good boy. He was happy to gobble up the gravy and has since sought out water, treats and successfully used the litter box. He is walking close to his normal self but those back paws are still cold. I want them to warm up so very bad as that would be a positive sign and would give me more of a comfort feel that we are out of the woods, instead of on the emotional rollercoaster where you go day by day and just hope for the best.

As you might imagine I am so exhausted and run down. I want to collapse but I am still managing to work. Staying busy helps me to not focus but when I have idle time my mind wonders plus; I am listening and if I hear any commotion from upstairs, I will be up there in a flash. Right now, I need sleep so bad. I hope that Marv’s body will permit him to keep making positive progress and that we will be able to stay together for a while longer. I need him to make it to 2021 so that I’m not losing 2 cats in 1 year. I’ve done that before and it’s difficult. Like I told my co-workers, I know that his days are numbered. The problem is I don’t know what number he is on and how close we are to zero. I hope that he is at least at 900 but realistically I think it’s probably more like 100 or less days. My plan is to continue to enjoy every waking moment I have together with him and to try to make him as happy and comfortable as possible. Were a fighting family and based on what I have seen so far, I feel like I made the right call. At least if things turn for the worst, I won’t be wondering what if.

It’s been a very stressful week at work and add in the Marvin problem and hell I am so ready for a vacation. Calgon take me away!