Ah yes another day at home. This time I didn’t work from home but called in sick. I spent the day taking care of me. Napping, watching TV, spending time with the cats and generally trying to relax. The cats were after me for lunch and knew when I had slept enough so they woke me up by making noise which was irritating but I was grateful in the end.
Why did I really stay home today? It was partially because I didn’t feel good but mostly because I wanted to get revenge. I get this promotion and am told I can work from home as needed. I bust my ass working from home for 4 days and then am told that trouble is brewing and I shouldn’t be working from home. Well for fuck sake make up your God Damned mind. It’s either okay for me to work from home or it’s not. Simple as that. When you send mixed messages is fucking pisses me off to no end.
Guess what happened? A bunch of work has piled up and is now waiting for me to return. I haven’t checked my email but I did look at the ticketing system, there were about 10 tickets waiting for me. Seriously, people really depend on me and seek me out. I am grateful for that but I think about all of the frustrations that I have, which I know there will be some. I think about the Mook that I have been stuck working with for two years. He can’t do his job with a road map and written documentation, he depends solely on me. What the fuck! How about one day I am crossing the road and get hit by a bus, I am dead then what the fuck will he do? How the fuck will that place survive? It won’t be as if I am there but I can tell you that the beat will go on. No sense in killing yourself for a job that will replace you tomorrow if you happen to drop dead today. I am dedicated and pour my heart & soul into my work, which is why it shines like a diamond. I am passionate about what I do. I have 3 cats and a job – I’m married to each of them, but family (cats) come first. It kind of hurts to say that I’m married to my job but what else do I have to immerse my self in? Yeah there is porn and guys but seriously, work takes up the most time in my life. It is what allows me to have the things that I do. I am very thankful for my job and for the money I make. I think I am well taken care of, although there is no such thing in my book as enough money until we get out of the double digit range. Not sure that will happen in my lifetime but then again I didn’t think I would land where I am now.
Staying home does have an adverse effect on me. I get depressed and sink pretty quickly. I convince myself that the world is all gloom & doom. Well working from home helps with that. I don’t have free time to think about self-destructive thoughts I am far too busy thinking about my job and what is needed to solve problems. I like that and keeping busy with work is the best defense for me to be able to keep on going.
I don’t believe anything just happens, I think everything happens for a reason. I am not exactly sure why I got sick and why it’s taking so long to recover. I can tell you that it’s given me more time to appreciate my cats and my lifestyle (referring to my job and worldly possessions). It’s also helped to remind me that I am truly all alone and that is a sobering reminder that I really didn’t need. I really need a boyfriend, I’m not looking to jump into a relationship overnight but I would like to meet a guy and not get my heart broken. I think that if they right guy comes along that it will change everything for me and for the better! I do think I deserve this and have waited long enough. Hopefully it won’t be much longer! Yeah I know you hope so too so that I will have something else to write about and it will spice up my life not to mention my writing. Well honey your not alone, me too!
Unless something unforeseen happens or I take a turn for the worse, I do plan on going in tomorrow and resuming life as I know it. It’s probably the best medicine ever. Being around others or at least in the vicinity and attending our boring useless meetings, the drive, the music and seeing the outdoors. There has been some storms while I have been off but lately it’s been all sunshine. I told the kids I manage to pick the best days to get sick and stay home. I also need to ask for some time I have a dentist appointment mid-July and the following week a doctors appointment. I don’t want to miss either of them. Especially the doctor. I will work it in to my meeting that is scheduled with my boss later this week, so it gets on the books. Feels rather odd asking for time after having been away for a bit but life does go on and my time is my time to use.
On multiple occasions I have psyched myself up for my return, I get a lousy nights sleep and then once I actually do go back and come home, everything falls into place. Hopefully I can skip the lousy nights sleep and get some additional rest.
I did decline my friends invite for the 4th. They sit around and talk about their dead dogs and the memories they had. Nothing ever changes it’s like Groundhog day. Sure the food and company are great but seriously the conversation, fuck that shit. I can sit at home and play America’s favorite game. Is it gunshots or fireworks! I will get my own food and celebrate what will be just another day here at home. Then have to go back to work the following day for 1 day. I’d love to take it off and thought about asking but seriously why? It will be slow because most of the office will be out and it will be like a vacation day in it’s self or so I hope.
The one thing I am not looking forward to is traffic. It’s been horrible since I have been home and more than once I have said thank God I am home. Tonight they closed the interstate that I would have taken to get home, it was done about an hour before my shift would have ended so I would have had notice and been able to re-route but there are issues on the alternate routes as well. It’s just a congestion fuck fest with everyone trying to get to or from home. It’s just that time of year. Then we will get closer to school resuming, I will realize how easy my commute has been for about a month and then bam it’s back to traffic hell. It clears up or I get used to it after a couple months, then we have the holidays and rinse/repeat it starts all over again. Working from home is a God send and part of me wishes that I could do it more often.
Okay, that’s my rant for today. Things could be far worse than they are. I plan to change my toothbrush tonight, something that I hadn’t done the last time I got sick. That for some reason helps me. It’s close to the 3 month mark anyway. I don’t look forward to having time on my hands for the evening but it will be over with before I know it and then the damn alarm clock will be going off. Thanks for listening to me complaint and rant. I do appreciate your visit. I hope that all is well in your world or at least that it’s better than mine. Take good care of yourself because no one else in this world will do it for you!
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