So I will be out of time off but I got the help that I needed, or so I think. I saw my doctor today. It was like a miracle I called and there was 1 open appointment with him which was in an hour. It was pushing it but I took it. He gave me the steroids, cough medicine (pills) and an antibiotic. I wasn’t feel that well when I left his office but once I got my medicine and took the first dose I feel slightly better. I also feel like I am on fire, which is either a fever or a hot flash a side effect of the steroids. At least I am not coughing which is a plus. I still have the sinus soup drainage, he wasn’t keen on that description but I told him if I could get some crackers with it, that it wouldn’t be all bad. He said that was just wrong.
My boss understands but I can tell he’s not happy. He wants to “touch base tomorrow”. Hey I’m sick deal with it and leave me the fuck alone. I am not in pay status and as an hourly employee you won’t permit me to work from home so fuck you.
It does get a little worse because my work is stacking up for me but it sounds like they are ramping up to take away our parking benefit, meaning that we would have to pay for our own parking. It’s around $150 per month and that was sold to us as a perk. Another one of our offices only works 37.5 hours per week if your going to be “fair” then fucking take that benefit away from them. Like I said it sounds like they are taking it away but nothing has been said for certain, I am reading into an email that I got. Yeah I’ve been checking mail it helps keep the old inbox clean but I am not responding to anyone, except for a brief exchange with my boss today.
So were down to Ruth. She is still protesting eating but shows interest in food. I got a steroid injection for her today. She put up a hell of a fight which tells me that there is still some life left in her. The shot is in and it’s only been a few hours, no change. I hope that she perks up tomorrow. The vet said we can do weekly injections of the steroid. When there are more bad days than good days that is a sign to part ways with her. I am actually thinking about doing it on Saturday but it all depends upon how she responds. I don’t want her to suffer and I might be able to take time off but it will be without pay and that isn’t something that I can afford to do frequently, kind of defeats the purpose of working if you know what I mean.
Parting ways with a furry friend isn’t easy and in some ways it would be a blessing if she just went on her own but that isn’t likely to happen on my watch. I think if I give her some fluids that will also help things along but I’m taking it 1 step at a time. The thing is that she is showing me the sweet side of her personality and that is something that I cherish. We both always wanted her to open up and trust us more but she has her limits. I want to rub her belly and comfort her but she isn’t that kind of a cat. She wants to be around me but not necessarily being touched by me. In one way parting ways would bring an end to the rollercoaster ride that we have all been on but it’s also a permanent solution that isn’t reversible. It’s a decision that I will have to live with for the rest of my life and it’s not one that I want to rush into, I mean I could have and tried to but was talked out of it. I’m grateful for that but the next time I tell them I’m ready they aren’t going to be second guessing me they are going to do it, take my money and move on. I’m really struggling with this decision it’s heart wrenching and I’m trying to make sure that I give her enough time to make sure that I don’t make any moves prematurely.
I’ve decided that I am probably going to use the funeral home that offered me a deal and just get her back in a plastic bag. I’ll put her in her big brothers urn and then get a new plaque made. It’s a way to save money. If you think there is money in healthcare and pet care your right but there is way more money in the death business. It’s a little more than $200 to put her down and then if I went with what I have traditionally done it’s another $200 for cremation and the urn. I can save that money and pay around $80 by doing it the way I just mentioned. Money is tight and getting tighter.
Funny thing is that the first of the month paycheck has breathing room where I have actual money left over after I pay the bills. The mid month paycheck has very little room with very little money left after I pay the bills. I need that fucking promotion bad and I don’t need them to stick me with a parking bill. I also need to be a little less intense and hyper focused at work and relax. However this merger thing is a big deal and I can already tell you there will be a hiccup on day one but that’s the way the cookie crumbles, I’ll deal with it next week. Monday will be a real shit show and I will be on fire but hey at least I won’t be on call. That’s the other thing since I have called in someone has to cover for me, I legally can’t be on-call since I am hourly.
Well I am sick of TV, I have nothing good to eat, I am sick of soda and water both. It’s time for a muscle relaxer my upper back is killing me and more antibiotics. Then chill with the kids and eventually I will fall asleep. Sleeping is difficult with a cough and it’s pretty exhausting. I wish all of my problems would just go away and leave me alone for a year or better. However, that’s not how life works but I can still wish it did.
Next update hopefully tomorrow if I feel like it, otherwise it will be the weekend. I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Take care and thanks for stopping by.
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