Monday

As you probably already guessed I spent the bulk of the day doing nothing and sleeping.  It felt good but once I got busy and left the house all I wanted to do is come back home and climb back in bed. 

I got my bed clothes through the laundry, let’s hope Gator has an easy tummy so that I don’t have to wash them again anytime soon.  I got all of the bills paid so we can stay another month.  I have a nice surplus of money left to live on, thanks to my overtime so there is something to smile about.  I didn’t get bothered by work today again something to smile about.  I had dinner out and it was okay.  I added 2 more candles to my collection.  You know those things you just have to have!  I also picked up cat litter which is a good thing to have if you have cats. 

I ordered a watch that I admired, damn Facebook advertising.  I also got my Nonda Zus Tire Monitoring Kit, plus more pee pads for the boys.  Everything will be in by Thursday. 

I found a photo of my mom and me together with one of her dogs.  I was much younger and smiling.  Kind of wish I would have had that for the service.  Her oil painting photo is still boxed up.  I have no idea where or even if I want to hang it.  I really wish that I could talk to her now more than ever, just to clear the air.  I know that she loved me and missed me.  I also know what I did was for the best and I didn’t think that she would die before we had a chance to talk again.  Long story short, no matter how ridiculous it sounds when my little voice tells me something I will be listening much closer.  I will be less likely to ignore it.  

The highlight of my day was watching Smokey & The Bandit from start to finish.  It’s been a long time since I did that.  I also got to lay in bed and hold Marvin.  We both enjoyed that. 

I have no desire to return to ‘the real world’ but it’s calling.  Thankfully not too loud because I still have the rest of the evening and all day tomorrow.  That is awesome.  I will try to spend the day on the computer, cleaning and doing laundry.  Then the evening with the children watching TV. 

I did some on-line sleuthing and found my brothers address, which for some reason is a huge secret.  He was supposed to send it to me by text but that didn’t happen.  We are supposed to get together for dinner one night this week, not sure if that will pan out or not.  I wanted to get together today but the bimbo was making dinner for them so that was out.  She wants me to come over and eat her cooking.  Yeah not going to happen.  I don’t trust her and I really don’t like her. 

My friend that bought us dinner after the funeral remarked to me that me and my brother were two different people.  We don’t look alike and we don’t act alike.  Yeah I said white trash and he jumped on that.  I know my brother can do better but a stiff dick doesn’t have a conscious. 

Well I am being herded to get upstairs.  Momma is protesting me being on the computer and if she isn’t happy then no one here is happy.  Cats what can I say they run the place, even though I pay the bills.  It’s probably best to call it a night. 

I am doing okay but still very much processing my mom’s death.  It’s just so hard to comprehend that she is gone.  So much finality when I really don’t want it to be final.