Productive 1st Friday–Day 3

I got woken up early by Mr. Blu who decided to stir up trouble in my room.  I chased him out and decided to feed the little monsters.  Then it was back to bed for a little bit.  Then the Blackberry starts going crazy.  Nothing I needed to respond to but still it kept me from sleeping. 

So I was up and noticed that once again it was cold in the house.  I monkeyed with the thermostat and the heat came on. 

I had breakfast and got dressed.  I started with phone calls that I needed to make.  Talked with the mortgage company , they don’t know what they are doing and said to call back on Monday afternoon.  I figure that will be a job for my attorney.  I called to check on Jury Duty and was told that the person who handles that is still on vacation and won’t be back until next week.  Funny they said the same thing last week when I was there in person.  Then I had to call to get my rental car reservation moved up.

I was thinking about the heat situation and decided to get it looked at.  I picked a company that doesn’t charge for service calls but rather parts & labor only.  They told me they would have someone here between 2 and 4 pm.  I went out to do my shopping and spend more of my money.  I got a call when I was at the cat food store that they were on the way.  It was only 11:30, maybe they have a polish clock. 

This hot guy named Brian showed up.  I wanted to jump all over him like white on rice.  Turned out the problem was the flame sensor.  The fix some sand paper to clean it.  Guess what that cost?  How about $124 for something that I could have done myself had I known what to do.  When I called I went to their website for the phone number and they had a coupon for $60 off service so I only paid $64.00 which wasn’t terribly expensive but still it was a lot of money for what he did.  He wanted to sell me a warranty where they would check everything once a year for $200 but I don’t need that.  If there is a problem I know their number.  Shame I didn’t get his.  He asked at the end if there was anything else he could do for me.  I really wanted to say what else would you like to do for me?  But I politely said no.  I’ve been trying to find him on the internet ever since…stalker much?  Yeah for a hot guy!

I turned on the TV after he left and got engrossed in a story and started to fade off.  I woke up and it was over with so I said screw this, I went to bed.  I couldn’t sleep so I got up and started cleaning.  The carpets specifically.  I didn’t do the entire house just the hallway and my room.  The hall had the worst of it.  I went to take out a bag of trash after I was done cleaning up the machine and forgot the alarm was set.  That really woke me up.  Got that taken care of and then put the trash out.  Put the machine away and sat down on the couch.  Took a call from a friend (the lady that had the stroke) she is back in the hospital because she suffered a pancreas attack.  Then back to a TV program for a little bit and I popped a pizza in the oven.  Ate and watched more TV.  Then cleaned the litter boxes.

Poor Big Boy I feel so sorry for him.  He had the life scared out of him a few times today.  First when Brian came over.  I had to peel him out from under the couch because he was stuck.  He did hide but I am not exactly sure how he got under there.  Then when I got the vacuum and carpet cleaner out.  Finally when I ran the vacuum one last time to clean up some spilled litter.  He should sleep rather well tonight.  He has also been playing with the ball toy.  He has also couched a lot today, which I am sure is a result of the stress that was placed on him. 

We have some wicked weather headed our way.  6 inches of snow Saturday night into Sunday and negative temperatures on the way.  I picked the perfect time for furnace repairs.   Plus more snow on Wednesday.  Maybe we will get some time off at no charge.  Who knows.  Only time will tell. 

I’ve got another project in my office cleaning out file cabinets, my late partner kept a lot of stuff and honestly so do I.  Time to purge.  Thought I would get this post going and then get started on that.  Even though I really don’t want to.  Ah, furnace just kicked on music to my ears.  It’s chilly in parts of the house particularly those rooms that have been closed off.  The kitchen is always chilly in the winter because of the backdoor, it’s a sliding glass door and not that well insulated.  I could put up plastic but I figure the cats would tear it down so why waste the money.

Unless something goes awry tomorrow should be pie day, even though I really want Spaghetti.  We will have to see what happens and how I feel in the morning. 

Wishing that I could work from home and didn’t have to deal with all of the BS and politics that are in the office.  However, I am looking and applying for other jobs so perhaps a change will occur not only in my employer but in my paycheck and hopefully both will be positive changes.  

Stay warm, be well and I will talk with you peeps again soon. 

Day 2

This morning started off with a BANG.  One of the facilities had problems with their Time Clock.  Somehow this turned into an IT problem when it has everything to do with Payroll.  However, the dyke that runs payroll said she didn’t know anything about it and said that I should fix it.  Well guess what I don’t know shit from apple butter about it either.  Who can I toss it to?  No one the buck always seems to stop with me.  So for about 2 hours we went back and forth – eventually the problem worked out and all is well. 

Just when I thought I was going to get rest and relaxation the office manager tells me she hired a new person.  Now she fucking knew this on Tuesday but she waits until the 11th hour to tell me so that I can get access in place.  I dropped everything and got started on this.  I created a network account for her and sent the credentials so at least the new person didn’t have to sit and be bored all day.  I called in the afternoon when the vendor had their e-mail setup and guess what the new person wasn’t given their login credentials.  Ugh!  I got them all taken care of and then it was out the door.

I went out for a hair cut and I will be damned if they didn’t cut them all.  I had to wait like 30 minutes.  No cute guys to look at either.  I went next door to Beltone the hearing aid company and asked them to take my late partner off of their mailing list.  I asked about what to do with his old hearing aids and batteries.  She told me donate them to the Lions Club.  Uh I am not a charity and not looking to donate anything.  I need to turn this into cash somehow.  Guess I will consider putting them up on eBay.

Got the mail and then headed to Ruby Tuesday.  I used a gift card I got for Christmas.  I knew I wanted Broccoli Cheese Soup but wasn’t sure after that.  I saw ribs and while I enjoy them they are messy.  However, me and my late partner went to I can’t say how many restaurants so he could eat Ribs.  So I got them in honor of him, he would get a full rack but I only got  a1/2 rack.  It didn’t fill me up but they sure were good. 

Afterwards I headed to the movies and saw the Madea Christmas Movie and got robbed.  I paid $17 for 2 tickets when all I asked for was 1 ticket.  I didn’t figure it out until I got home and well by then it’s too late so I’m out $8.50.  Teenagers need to pay attention to what us old folks say… 1 means just 1 and not two.  I mean I didn’t have anyone with me and there was no one behind me in line so I don’t get it. 

Came home and drove around the neighborhood to see who decorated for Christmas.  Nice.  Thinking about going to a light show we used to visit tomorrow night, may pass but it kind of depends upon what kind of mood I am in.  I’ve seen it before and have video of it but seeing live is just fantastic.

I’ve made my list out for Friday and it’s so full of things to do that some of it will bleed over to Saturday.  It’s really bitter cold outside and it’s only going to get colder.  We have snow and there is more on the way in a couple days.  Saturday & Sunday both and I think maybe Monday.  So here comes Winter Wonderland. Everyone gets upset by the snow but it always brought comfort to my late partner.  I just knew that if it snowed yesterday that this would be a good year, I hope I am right. 

I did get through to the mortgage company but the lady put me on eternal hold so I will be calling tomorrow with a freshly charged phone.

Okay time to prep for bed.  I am getting a shower tonight, didn’t get it last night decided to pass.  I did take the muscle relaxer and feel a little bit better but it really knocked me for a loop and I had the most bizarre dreams. 

Hope your 2nd day was a good one.  Tomorrow is the first Friday of the year and normally I am happy for Fridays but it means my time off is winding down and I really hate that.  Ah well I knew it would happen.  I still have 3 full days away and plenty to do.  So I am off to do now.  Stay Warm!

Happy Birthday 2014

The waiting is over with, we are in a New Year!  I called it quits last night about 11:30pm when my body said it’s time for bed.  So I didn’t get to ring in the new year awake but I missed all of the guns and fireworks.  To my knowledge the children were not upset by any of it. 

My brother woke me up this morning because he couldn’t remember what time we were supposed to meet up.  He said did I wake you, I said no the gunshot when the phone rang is what woke me.  I wasn’t too happy about it.  We met up this afternoon and had an okay time.  Mom is sure out there, she just looks like she is staring into space and she has really put on the weight.  She told me she lost 11 pounds and she is only 200 lbs. now.  Wow I wish I was 200.  She said that it looks like I have lost weight I told her probably have I am on the death diet.  Quickest way to lose weight.  I wore my glasses and got compliments on them.  When I told them they were $900 they flipped their lid.  I told them the frames were $130 the rest of the money goes for coatings and the lens.  My brother said they should last you a long time.  Yeah, except my eyes are changing just like the rest of my body so while I can keep the frames the expensive part will be the lens.

I’ve spent the bulk of the day watching TV, a murder crime show that was on the ID (Investigate Discovery) Network.  I am watching it via Netflix and it’s called Nightmare Next Door.  They start out with saying how well do you really know your neighbors?  Do you know what is behind the white picket fence?  Yeah, if people did they would move or at least reposition themselves out of harms way. 

I have had a nap and my neck/shoulder is driving me nuts.  Ever since I slept in my partners bed it has been bothering me.  I thought I had it fixed but apparently not.  I am thinking of taking a muscle relaxer tonight.  I don’t have anything real pressing for tomorrow, the weather outside is bad (snowing heavy) and chances are not that many people will venture in tomorrow.  That doesn’t mean it will be a quiet day but if I am doped up and knocked out I may not hear the silly phone if it goes off.  A nice hot shower, muscle relaxer and then bed until I pass out sounds pretty good right now. 

My new calendars are going up slowly but I will get there before the night is over.  I really don’t have any cares today just wanted to veg out.  I will probably want to do that more than one day but that doesn’t get the things done that I need or want.  I will have to get more aggressive tomorrow.  I need to follow up with the mortgage company, get to Target and I suspect the Post Office.  I also would like to get my hair cut.  May even use one of the gift cards I got for lunch.  Friday or Saturday will be pie day.  I’d actually like to go tomorrow but with the winter weather I see no reason to take a chance on banging up my car any more than it already is.  That would be a separate claim and cost me even more time off from work. 

Ah yes, work.  There is certainly plenty for me to do.  We closed the office yesterday at 3 and I wound up staying until 3:30.  I had stuff I was catching up on.  I figured a little bit wouldn’t kill me.  Then I realized it would be 5 and I would tell myself a couple more minutes and then it would be 7 and I would wind up spending the night there so finally I called it quits.  Not before checking on the cute guy that I like that works on my floor.  He wasn’t in but at least I checked. 

Some people collect cars, coins, toys, etc.  Me I just love looking at Guys!  Which is why it took me so long to decide on a photo for the mast this month.  I have many photos to choose from and this one just did it for me.  The guy looks to be cocky and also familiar like he is in a TV show or Movies.  Anyway he is cute so that is why I chose him. 

I’ve got to grab the bull by the horns this year and make it my year.  That is pretty much what my horoscope said, if you believe that stuff.  Some of it is interesting and is accurate but a lot of it doesn’t apply to me.  Speaking of which I had a long talk with God last night.  My mom today said something prophetic that while I want something I will get it but it will be in God’s Time and not my own.  She started out by asking me if I believed in God.  That was kind of odd because my late partner had the same conversation with me a day before he had his stroke. 

I feel like God knows my heart (which he does) and people see the real me even if I don’t want to let all of my personality and belief’s out.  Yes, I do believe in God but sometimes it difficult to believe in the Invisible Man in the sky as the late George Carlin referred to him.  I don’t understand why certain things happen.  Placing my trust and faith in him is sometimes difficult for me.  There was a time when I was much closer and could feel his hand.  Now I hardly feel him at all.  That’s not because he moved but because I did.  Getting back to church would be a good start for me but I want some place where I can be me and be free.  That means if someone asks me I can tell them I am gay and they won’t freak out and try to convert me or cast me out.  Many months ago I wrote our MCC (Metropolitan Community Church) to ask if I could talk with someone and explained that my partner had passed. While they are gay friendly they never have responded to my request.  That deeply hurt me because I figured a church with people like me would understand and want to comfort me, but instead they chose to ignore me.  I read their newsletter and it sounds more like a fraternal organization than a church.  I don’t want to go through any ritual like in the Catholic Church because that just doesn’t cut it for me.  I need to know that no 2 services will be the same. 

Tonight I did spend sometime updating my profile on the dating site I am using for free.  They want money and there are plenty of ads but giving them money won’t get me a date, so why should I part with my money when I can just as easily hold on to it?  I haven’t even had a nibble.  I can tell you that I am not the most attractive person on the face of the earth but I am also not totally ugly.  I think my weight is what is scaring people off.  I remember back when I was in therapy being told you need to loose that gut, gay guys like men to be thin and in shape.  Well that is not me, I love my food just as much as I love men but if it’s all about being superficial I guess I will be lonely but at least I won’t be hungry!  The right guy is out there and eventually I will find him when the time is right.  That is something else in God’s control.  My friends all tell me to stop right now because I could easily be taken advantage of.  Yeah, like I am loaded and someone is going to take my money.  You can’t get blood out of a stone.  I have a very small amount of money nothing to write home about and parting with it would be like taking a bone from a rabid Rottweiler.  You will have to kill me to get it.  While looks do attract people and I will admit that I don’t look at chubby guys it’s more of what is on the inside that counts.  Plus you have to have chemistry.  If the sparks aren’t there then it just won’t work.  I make it very clear I am looking for an LTR and not a one night stand.  I don’t want to catch something be it AIDS or Hepatitis or anything else.  My life has enough twists and turns as it is.  If it is not meant to be then it really matters not what I put in my profile, the men or man won’t be there until the timing is right.  I also kind of feel a little odd looking to go out with someone on a date, sort of like I am totally cheating on my partner when I know that is not the case.

Well I see it’s a little after 10pm.  My neck is bothering me more so I am going to get the shower and try to continue to relax.  We shall see what tomorrow brings. 

Goodbye 2013–Last Post of the Year

What a year 2013 was.  Here is my year in review….

January, February and March – all normal months. 

April I lost my partner to a massive stroke, my world was turned upside down and inside out.  I was off work for 2 weeks to try to settle his affairs and that is not enough time.  Went back to work and the following week had to travel.

May, June and July – Again trying to sort of his affairs.  Had to file a lawsuit against one of the larger unions to get a Death Benefit.  Trying to work with the mortgage company and after 4 months of submitting paperwork and calling they denied me.

August – Still trying for the payment modification. Talked to a Congressman

September – October – still working on the mortgage issue.  Referred a friend for a job, she screwed it all up and got fired a month later.  She made me look bad and didn’t do an ounce of work the entire time she was there.

November – What I thought would be some hope I qualified for a mortgage on my own but it was denied at the last minute because I really didn’t qualify.  Still working with the present mortgage company and an Attorney now.

December – Tried to get out of paying his Bankruptcy but red flagged the case so now if I stop paying they will sell the house.  Talked with a friend of a friend who told me that my partner wants me to give the house up since it’s causing me such trouble.  My car got damaged on Christmas break.

Still working for the same angry temperamental hot headed old man.

What I learned this year….

Life is precious enjoy every second of it and don’t be afraid to say I love you or express your feelings.  People are gone in the blink of an eye without any warning. 

Working with banks sucks, they make you fill out forms, wait and string you along.

The law right now isn’t in favor of same sex couples but it did change and DOMA was thrown out.  We are on our way to equality!

Closing out someone’s life is not easy and is very time consuming.  Just when you think your almost done something else seems to pop up. 

Patients and persistence pays off, if you know your right fight until the death and if that means you have to sue someone then do it.  I took down a giant union to get money that was mine. 

Life is expensive and going from 2 incomes to 1 income makes you think about what you need and what you can afford.  You learn to do without and make tough choices.

Call your creditors be it the cable company, alarm company ,etc.  tell them if your going through a rough financial time they will work with you.

Friends.. well tough times show you who your true friends are and you might be surprised by who you think is your friend and who actually is your friend. 

Do you… whatever makes you happy, because no one else can make you happy like you can.  You know yourself and what you like and want, take time out and do something for yourself.

Online Dating is scary you never know what or should I say who you will meet.  I am doing that right now and haven’t gotten date number 1 yet. 

My prayer… As the year winds to a close I pray that the worst is behind me.  This has been a year that I will not soon forget.  Many memories both good and bad.  I am proud of myself for making it this far because I didn’t think I would or could but I did.  I pray that 2014 brings me happiness, a new and better paying job, a mortgage of my own and the ability to make it all work out.  In short I want nothing but the best for 2014 for myself because 2013 sucks.  If it is meant to be I hope that I find Mr. Right who I can build a new life with. I pray that Big Boy and all of my other cats can enjoy another year with me.  I’d also like to win the lottery but if that doesn’t happen it’s okay, just as long as everything else I asked for comes true.  Money isn’t everything but it sure can buy you a lot.   Oh, Loving God please make all of this so!

Thank you for sticking with me and for another year of continued readership.  I will continue to journal my life and hopefully you will read much more positive things than negative things.  Into each life a little rain must fall but I have had a monsoon and am looking for some sunshine!

Happy New Year and may 2014 be the best year ever for all of us!  Cheers.

Last Monday 2013

Rough was the word of the day.  It was tough to get out of bed but knowing that I was going in and thought I would have fun today was kind of a motivator.  No such luck with the fun part.  Everyone wanted a piece of me since I was gone for 2 days.  I still have people that I haven’t gotten back to.  I will try to call them tomorrow but I am sure I will leave something hanging. 

I found out that some of the work I have been doing that is “clerical in nature” I have done wrong – it’s a big project and now I have to start over.  It’s something that an admin. asst. should be doing.  But because it involves putting files on a shared drive they think the IT guy has to do it.  It’s nice to have job security but this is a bullshit task and needs to be done by someone who knows what they are doing – it’s clear that I don’t.  However, I will figure it out. 

Working with putting final touches on a lawsuit at work.  I enjoy that kind of stuff but there is so much you can easily get lost in the paper trail.  Attorneys ask so many damn questions which causes the paper trail.  This case is going to be the death of me but I hope to be done with it tomorrow.  Argh!

No boss man looks like he isn’t coming in.  Now I am wondering if we will get to leave early tomorrow?  Not that I will be able to due to the volume of work but if they close I will bail as quick as I can. 

Got the kids medicine tonight, grabbed the mail and the estimate for my car was in there.  They put a time on it so that clears things up.  Now I have to square things away with the rental car company.  I will break the news to my boss next week, right now I am going to enjoy this week for what it is. 

Cleaned out the fridge all of those Redi Whip bottles are gone along with some expired Cherry Wine and a small amount of V8 juice.  There were some questionable canned items that had been opened like garlic – I tossed all of it.  It’s like I was throwing my late partner away, I hate getting rid of things that remind me of him but that crap can’t live in there forever.  It’s so cold out that none of it would spoil so hopefully nothing gets into the trash.  I try to mix food with dirty cat litter so that hopefully detracts any would be trash burglar. 

My lunch is made, food is picked out for the morning.  All I have to do is take my pills, watch TV and go to bed.  Tomorrow when I come home I can do what I want, which will probably be take a nap.  Sleeping is a favorite activity of mine, along with watching porn and eating.  My 3 vices in this world. 

Thinking about what my last post of the year should be or if I will even make one.  I’ve got an idea not sure if I will be able to put it into action but might try. 

All is well that ends well.  Staying warm with the wacky furnace, my electric blanket and cats with built in heaters.  Had a nice bowl of soup and a ham sandwich for supper.  Pretty good meal.  Desert was 2 Oatmeal Raisin Cookies and I washed it all down with a Pepsi Max.  Now I am ready for ice cream.  I enjoy meat but sweets are my favorite.

Take care talk with you peeps later and stay warm it’s cccold outside!

Sunday = Nap Day

I got up early, had breakfast, fed the hungry begging children and even managed to sleep in a bit.  Shaved, Showered and got dressed.  Shoved off to the grocery store where I proceeded to forget 2 items and not remember until I got home.  Finished up laundry early, watched some porn, watched some TV and then called my brother.  The phone rang off the hook.  Finally it went to voice mail.  I hung up and called back.  He answered and told me that I got him out of bed.  It was noon.  He wanted a 1/2 hour extension on lunch.  Okay so I gave in.  Then he calls me back and said lets do it a different day.  I said okay.  How about tomorrow?  Fabulous except for one tiny problem I have to work.  Oh yeah.  So I told him we would schedule something in the future.  Maybe New Years Day if not then I’m not sure when we will get together.  His work schedule is wacky.

I got a call when I got home in front of the house on my work phone.  It was one of the facilities telling me they had no internet and they talked with the provider and the provider says the problem is on our end.  Really and your like 25 thousand miles away and it’s Sunday what do you expect me to do?  Just provide some advice.  So I did and heard did that, tried that now what?  I suggested as a last resort rebooting the server but that didn’t work.  I’m not sure what they did but they are back up, I just checked.  Strange.  I just hate getting interrupted by work when I am supposed to be off.

Yesterday it was our nit wit office manager who locked up her brothers e-mail account.  I had to call the vendor to get that fixed and that will cost them serious money because it was after hours and on a weekend.  I think that is hysterical because they didn’t want to give me the ability to manage lock outs and passwords because apparently I am not trusted, chop off your nose despite your face.  Fools!

Friday it was do you have a spare laptop that you could lend to a girl in the office.  No and even if I did that would mean I would have to come in and that just wasn’t going to happen on my day off.  It would take something far more serious than that. 

I want to change lives with one of my friends who seem so happy and cheerful, where things seem to be going in the right direction.  I am just so unhappy right now.  My hope is that will change.  Part of this is because I have to go back to the hell hole tomorrow but the other part is well me just being me.

I am not crazy about having to drive an injured car to work and still haven’t quite yet decided about how to break the news of time off.  I think I will probably wait until after the new year – because asking now I could be asked to give up the time I have scheduled off and well I really need it. 

I have decided next week I will be going for pie, I need to get away from the area just listen to music, clear my mind and drive.  It’s a little on the expensive side but well worth it. 

Big Boy waddle out to me tonight, he wanted to play with the new toy but also wanted some dad time.  I gave him a brushing and a nice paper towel bath.  He enjoyed it so much he kept asking for more.  I then gave him a can of Tuna Fish and Egg Cat Food.  He loves it.  He eats it in stages, which is kind of smart.  No sense in gulping down a whole can if you know you will be hungry later.  Might as well space it out.  The problem is others see it as left overs and they move in.  He won’t stop them.  He knows all to well about the dry food that is out.  All of Momma’s family eats it.  In fact the only cat that won’t eat dry is Blu.  He is spoiled with wet food.  He doesn’t even like treats. 

The ambulances have been really busy here over the course of the past week.  Bad Weather brings them out like hornets.  However, the weather has been fairly decent.  Must be the holidays. 

Just went upstairs to feed the children their last meal for the night (they don’t know that yet) and Taz & Blu apparently got into it.  Taz has a laceration on his face.  Feels rather odd calling him Taz when he is so dossal now.  I can do anything I want to him and he really doesn’t try to gnaw off my hand like he would have years ago. 

I was playing with my phone this afternoon and found a White Castle App.  I placed an order and then went to pick it up.  I went inside and they were waiting for me.  It was good but not exactly what I wanted.  I am kind of hamburger out now.  My only complaint is that the fries were not extra crispy like I asked for. 

Watched a couple movies and some TV on demand this afternoon.  Managed to fall asleep on the one day that I didn’t want to.  Because I will probably have issues falling asleep tonight.  Still have to prepare for tomorrow and lord will that be depression city in the morning.  I have plenty to do from the emails that I have gotten over the past couple days so it’s not like I will be bored, that is unless I really don’t want to do the work which is highly possible. 

I signed up for job alerts yesterday so it will help remind me to look as well as let me see what is out there in case I some how happen to forget, when life is going full speed ahead looking for a job is very much an after thought. 

Looking forward to a better year with very little bad times and many good times! 2 more days until 2014.  Stay warm and be well.

Last Saturday of 2013

Today is the very last Saturday of the year.  It also marks another year anniversary of losing my grandma.  It’s been well over 20 years now.  It really has no effect on me because I have gotten used to it.  Still I will never forget seeing her lucid on the 27th and being able to talk with her.  Then to be told on the 28th that she passed, it was really a big blow for me.  I didn’t understand it.

Death is something that I have struggled with my entire life.  Why it happens?  Why are we born to die?  What really happens when you die?  Yeah, I know your heart stops and you turn blue.  It is just something that has bothered me.  I have seen a lot of death in my 42 years of walking the earth.  Losing a classmate or a classmate losing a parent kind of brings it all home.  It’s one of those wake up calls that when it happens to someone you know, you think geez I should really get it together.  It’s a reminder to treat people as you wish to be treated, etc. 

Well I spent a part of my day in bed.  I managed to wake up with a sore neck and I didn’t feel the best.  I got some moist heat on it and now it feels better.  I forced myself to take a nap and that helped. 

I went to the pharmacy only to learn that they had issues with the vet finding my name so the medicine won’t be ready until Monday.  Just what I wanted to avoid.  Okay so be it.  Got the mail and the guy from yesterday car is still on the lot.  Came home, put all of the things I took out of my car back in.  Since I will be driving it for a while and not leaving it at a shop. 

Treated myself to Red Lobster tonight.  Got a cute waiter and had some good fish.  Plus I made room for desert.  Their carrot cake is the best.  Paid cash for it, felt really good. 

Came back home talked with my brother, we are supposed to go out tomorrow for a bite.  I am not really up for it on a Sunday but it was his next day free.  If I feel really bad tomorrow I will cancel and we will have to do it next week some time. 

I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow, need to get food for lunch and supper as well as see if I can find something special for New Years Day.  Looking forward to another 5 days off that will feel really good but the time does go by really fast. 

The children are going to be lost come Monday and Tuesday.  Then I will confuse them on Wednesday.  I really hate that but it is what it is.  Work is piling up for me, lots of e-mail asking for help or needing me to do something.  I just hope for two quick days and then adios I am in the wind for 5 long days. 

I didn’t go see any movies, even though I wanted to.  I just got lazy about it and not wanting to drive, etc.  I have seen lots of good stuff right here in my own home some free other stuff I had to pay for but it was worth it.  Good times spent being with the kids and watching them all sleep.

Well it’s time to turn in for the night and get some more heat for the neck.  It’s starting to act up again.  I hope you enjoyed the Last Saturday of the year.  Talk with you peeps again soon.

Anniversary

Today would have been our one year mark.  Just another day now.  I am very lonely.  Sadness, Depression and Grief come with that.  If I could help resolve that problem I think several of my other issues would disappear.  The lady I was talking with on Christmas told me not to date on-line instead do volunteer work.  She suggested Big Brother/Big Sister.  Tell them that I specialize in dealing with sexuality, if they have someone who is questioning that I could maybe help them.  Yeah, that’s all I need is to get a little brother and have the bastard accuse me of rape or fondling him, sorry I won’t be volunteering.  Besides that most (not all) straight people think that gay men are pedophiles.  It just smells like more trouble and I certainly don’t need that right now. 

I gave in to my desire and went to Bob Evans to have Chili.  It was good.  Then the waitress told me about Chocolate Bread Pudding turns out they don’t have it yet.  Ah, I wasn’t too happy.  Had a burger with my Chili and it was an okay meal for lunch. 

I went to get cat food afterwards and then had to decide if I wanted to go see a movie or go home.  I went for the movie but I talked myself out of it.  I was thinking of my car and really didn’t want to go right then.  I may go tomorrow or just wait for the streaming version. 

I saw previews for The Wolf on Wall Street and that sounds really good.  I may just opt to see it tomorrow, it’s playing close by.  The Madea movie would require me to travel a little bit.  Not so sure that it’s worth the trip, but I did tell myself that I would see it so who knows might do both.

Prior to hitting up Bob Evans I stopped at the post office.  All I have been getting for the past few days is junk mail.  Makes me want to stop going.  Argh!  There was a guy next to me having problems getting his car started.  I saw the HRC sticker on his bumper and figured he is probably gay.  His car would turn over just wouldn’t start.  Sounds like trouble.  He had a cell phone and was calling someone, you could tell he wasn’t too happy.  It would have been a great way to make an introduction, but I opted to let him figure it out.  I went back by the post office on my way to get the cat food and his car was still there.  I feel for him, car problems suck!

Speaking of which I got a call from the body shop today and they can’t fit me in until the 13th of Jan.  It’s like 2 weeks away.  They have to order the bumper which will take about a week to get in – I don’t believe that but that is what they are saying.  Then it will take them a couple days to paint the new bumper and finally install it.  I drop the car off on Monday and will be picking it up Wednesday or Thursday.  Now I have to ask for more time off, I’ve got it but didn’t plan on using it like this.  My thoughts are to ask about coming in late on Monday and telling my boss that I will need to leave at 2 or 3 in the afternoon to go get it.  He won’t like it but at least I will be at work and minimizing the time off. 

I did call AT&T about my home phone and wound up taking off a wire insurance policy that I was paying $8.99 for a month.  I didn’t even know it.  So there is a savings right there.  I stopped by the Cellular store and they tried to sell me a home security system.  There was a couple dollars I could save by modifying my plan but I would be giving up unlimited data and there would be no way to ever get that back again.  I didn’t see that it was worth it.  I did add an extra service months ago to block certain numbers from calling me, I removed that and will be saving $3.99 per month so that will help.  Just did the math a little bit ago to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming, the numbers work out.  I should have $200 per month that I am saving.  If that is the case that money will go to savings and that way if I need it, I can fall back on it.  My thought is to just deduct it at $100 per check and that way it is in savings out of sight but not out of mind. 

I called about my car payoff and it’s actually a couple hundred dollars more expensive than what I planned for.  It makes sense to pay it off since the loan is at 5.14% and I am not getting that kind of interest on my savings.  However, if I spend all of that money now and an emergency comes in to play I would be screwed.  So I am going to take the chickens way out and keep making the monthly payments.  At least for the time being  If my circumstances change well then I can always explore paying it off early.  I’d really like to trade in both vehicles for 1 brand new one.  Interest rates are back to 0% and that is really hard to pass up but I would be committing myself for another 4 or 5 years and right now that doesn’t seem like the smart thing to do.  My car is still young, low mileage and I have an extended bumper to bumper warranty.  Might as well keep what I have and call it a day. 

I have watched a fair amount of TV and Movies today.  One of which was all about Bipolar Disorder and people who suffer from it.  It was interesting, but kind of a time waster for me.  I was feeling low and that is why I decided to watch it.  Thinking maybe I would see someone worse off than me and that would cheer me up.  Kind of sick but well I did see those people and it didn’t cheer me up. 

This is the first Christmas and in 4 more months it will be a year.  The first year has been rocky so far.  I hope and pray that the second year gets better for me.  2014 just has to be better.  It doesn’t mean that I will stop missing him or forget about him but since it’s time we are talking about it should help somewhat to heal the wound.  My heart is still very much broken and I am still very much grieving my loss.  Each new added problem that life throws at me makes me wonder if this will be the breaking point.  I honestly want to quit my job, but I know I can’t.  I also want to kill myself because it hurts so much and I am so tired but no amount of rest seems to help me recover from the loss.  I am mad at myself for not seeing the signs and trying to stop this (but that is hindsight).  I am mad at him for not taking his medicine like he should have or at least letting me help him so that this wouldn’t have happened.  However, deep down I know that if this was his time and if he was doing everything right he still would have died it’s just the cause and means would have been different.  I keep telling people that the cats are my motivation.  I am pretty sure they can survive without me, provided they make it to a good shelter or a good home.  The problem is no one really checks on me I would be laying dead here for what could easily be up to a month.  Work would freak but I can’t say that they would have enough sense to call the police or my emergency contact.  If they did then it would only be a matter of days that I would lay here. 

I think of what type of scar that would leave on whomever found me.  I think of what it would do to my mother and brother.  The problem is I don’t have enough friends.  I know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I hear that it gets better but thus far it isn’t getting better for me.  It’s not just the battle with the mortgage company and the bankruptcy it’s the loss it’s self and the pain that goes with it.  The people in big business who don’t give a damn but will tell you that they are sorry for your loss.  They may be sorry but their actions and in actions speak louder.  I realize they all have jobs and need to keep them.  However, when some one dies the rules should be broken – death should wipe the slate clean and everything be forgiven. 

I keep thinking maybe I should start picking and playing the lottery on a regular basis that I could surely win.  Yeah if I was the only person in the world playing that would probably be true but there are tons of people I am competing against and the odds are better that I will get struck by lighting or run over by a car when I cross the street than winning the lottery.  However, people have done it before.  I hate to say this but I feel like I am owed.  I know in reality I am not owed anything.

The only thing that would be solved if I died would be that my partners son, the bankruptcy court and the mortgage company would all duke it out and get it settled.  This place would be sold.  Outside of my car I am not in any serous debt and my savings today would pay for my funeral as well as all of my bills. 

Yeah I’ve really thought this out and have been wanting to write about it for a while but suppressed it.  The longer you hold things in the more they fester and grow.  Let it out so that is what I am doing, letting it out.  It’s all just words…right now I am still waiting, hoping and praying that things get better.  Don’t worry about me taking my life, for the moment it’s NOT going to happen I have too much of a vested interest to see how things are going to work out. 

Shifting gears.  Last night I found a porn movie that I have been waiting to see.  It’s called Dad Gets In To Trouble.  It stars Devin Moss who is very well endowed.  He just does it for me.  Seeing him in action well that is worth it for me.  I’ve also come to realize that my vice is porn.  Well maybe food and porn.  I am an addict and if I ever do find the right guy I am wondering if I can exist without porn.  Right now it’s all good and provides a great release for me.  Watching Don Jon the other day I realized when I am watching porn all of my problems fade away – it’s just me and the screen I am not thinking about money, my loss, a sick cat, my job or anything else.  I am thinking about the guys on the screen and well you get the idea. 

We have 4 days left in this crummy, crappy year.  I hope that they go by fast and that I don’t have any further problems.  I hope that like the Christmas song says my troubles will be out of sight. 

Crappy Anniversary to me.  I miss my guy more than I can put into words.  I really wish he were here with me in good health.  I’d give back every cent I received and then some just to be with him again and be happy.  I mean he is all I have known for the better part of my life.  He was my rock and he is gone now.  I believe that he is watching over me and trying to look out for me.  I know that I am keeping my promise in making him proud in that I am making things work here by keeping all of us (me and the cats) together.  I am trying to make the best out of a shitty situation and I know that he didn’t leave me willingly, it was simply his time.  I know that he loved me more than anyone on earth because he told me so each and everyday.  I thought it was sappy, cheesy and took it for granted.  Now that he is gone I appreciate the fact that he expressed those feelings each and every day.  The last 6 months or possibly longer we got closer and exchanged I love you’s much more frequently.  I am grateful that I was able to spend so many years with him and that I was always there when he needed me.  I was his rock as much as he was mine.  We covered each others back no matter what and now I am on my own.  I must say that while I am not happy things turned out the way they did I am glad that I am the one who survived like we planned.  I know that he would have went to shit if I went before him and things around here would really have fallen apart.  He would have probably been dead within the first three months.  He always told me that he couldn’t live without me.  I told him the same.  However, I am living now.  I just wish that we could communicate, not being able to talk with him is the hardest part ever.  I still miss my lunch time phone calls and waking him up in the morning chatting about what was going to be for supper.

If you have read this far, I must thank you for sticking with me.  I know this post is all over the place but it’s a very emotional day for me.  Last year at this time I was so happy, who would have thought a year later my life would change so drastically.  I am glad that we got the Civil Union it was money very well spent.  I didn’t know why we both got choked up when we said “until death do us part” but I get it today just like I got it back in April when he passed. 

If you take away only one thing from this post – I want it to be that life is precious and if you have a wife, a husband, a lover, a partner, a significant other – someone who means something to you tell them today how much you love and appreciate them.  Cherish every moment with them the good times as well as the bad.  At least you are together.  That is what this whole experience has taught me, among other things. 

Now if I could just break out of this depression and grief – laugh and smile more, eat a little less and spend a whole lot less I think that my problems would figure themselves out.  However, until that happens I will continue to worry and watch to make sure that things get dealt with as they need to be.

It struck me at Christmas when a 6 year old said the blessing and ended it with Thank you Jesus for my life.  I didn’t realize it but he was born 3 months premature and wasn’t supposed to make it.  That was shock and awe, that touched me so very much.

Okay, I’m going to call and end to this and get ready for bed.  I have to get to the pharmacy tomorrow to get the kids medicine but that doesn’t mean I need to be up at the crack of dawn.  I just have to tell that to them.  :)   Thanks for stopping by.  Talk with you peeps later.

The Day After

Christmas was just okay.  I met a girlfriend of my friends late son.  We got to talking and the gay thing came out and the loss of my partner.  Then she tells me that she has the ability to hear things from dead people and know things in advance before they happen.  So she is a medium of sorts.  She tells me that my partner told her that he stopped taking his medicine on purpose.  He sees that the house is a sense of a burden for me and he wants me to let it go.  The memories are not in the house but they are in your heart.  He is having fun with me through Blu and he is the one knocking things off, he is laughing at me. 

Erie & Awkward.  I didn’t know how much of that she was prepped with.  I called tonight and talked with my friend and he told me that she has been right about a number of things and that she wasn’t prepped.  As for the part about him doing it on purpose that was doubtful.  We both knew him pretty well and while we both have talked about suicide it was simply never an option because it would send us to hell.

I believe that he would want me to let the house go as he wouldn’t want it to burden me further.  He never did want to be a burden to me but he was.  The last thing he would want to do is create another burden for me.  However, I am hanging on as long as I can – I would like to keep this place.  Funny how he never said what I was supposed to do about the cats.

I took my letter to the courthouse and talked with someone today.  They said that I will be issued a deferral.  You can do that one time.  They will call me again in 6 to 9 months and then I will have to serve.  Let’s hope by then my finances and employer both allow me to serve. 

Got a new problem now.  My car was involved in an accident.  I figured that out when I got home today, I had lunch with a friend.  So I’ve made the calls to report it and gone to the body shop.  I need a new bumper and it’s going to cost me $250, which is what my deductible is.  I get to get a rental but the body shop won’t touch my car until the claim comes through from the insurance company.  I came home and called to put pressure on the insurance company.  I will be calling the body shop tomorrow.  I’d like to get this taken care of and minimize the amount of time I have to take off work to deal with this.  If I can drop off my car and get the rental while I am off that will be good.  Then taking a day or even part of a day to go pick it up should be okay. 

As a result of this accident I didn’t get to do a lot of the things that I had planned for the day.  Thankfully I have another day, being tomorrow to take care of those things.  I’m starting to wonder if there isn’t a black cloud hanging over me.  Let us hope that this time next week things will start a new and be fresh, pleasant and I can have the best year of my life.  Whatever that means.

I went to the funeral home tonight, that was tough.  I really had to choke back the tears.  So here I am after almost two full days of no computer catching up.  Wow, there is life outside of the computer, who knew!

Stay warm and be safe.  Talk with you peeps later!

I got a summons for Christmas

Monday is long gone and Wednesday (Christmas) is less than an hour away, at least in my time zone.  Normal work day nothing too exciting which is good.  I stopped for mail on the way home and picked up a summons for Jury Duty.  It’s not until February.  I’ve never been called before so I would actually like to serve.  Problem is my employer will NOT pay me for Jury Duty.  I asked the dick (aka my boss) for a letter to excuse me since I was deemed essential personnel.  I was told sorry can’t write you a letter.  Really?  They also can’t take any action against me if I do serve or because I was summoned.  They are not required to pay and they can’t make me use my time.  Now here is the messed up part.  I am exempt, meaning that I am paid by salary.  So it doesn’t matter if I work 20 hours or 2,000 hours in a month my pay is the same.  The true meaning of the word salary is you earn the same amount regardless of how much work you do or don’t do in the course of a month.  Now, back when we were making travel arrangements for WIFI last year I was told I couldn’t be gone for 2 weeks, I was needed in the office.  Okay but now all of a sudden it’s okay that I am gone for a minimum of a week to a maximum of the length of a trial.  What if the trial took 2 months? 

This actually sounds like I might have a cause of action, at least in my mind if I do have to serve and they dock me.  I would have to talk with the Wage & Hour people and probably a Labor Employment Attorney. 

Rather than getting angry and wasting money on legal fees, I am going to go visit the Jury Duty Office on Thursday and present them a letter in person and explain to them that this will cause me a financial hardship if they require me to serve, I would be risking my home going into foreclosure if I am unable to make payments.  So I am asking them to excuse me now, but call me again at a later date and if my circumstances have changed I would be very happy to serve.  See I really do want to, I just can’t afford to since I work for a lame company who doesn’t want to encourage their employees to do their civic duty.  The way it’s always worked for my past employers you surrender what money you earn from Jury Duty to the employer and they pay you OR you tell them how much you got and they make up the difference so your not out any money, just your time.

I shot a dagger to the boss and reminded him that if I was required to serve that I would be out of touch because electronics are not allowed in the courthouse.  Just saying pick your poison you can help me or you can try to screw me but I won’t be checking the phone every chance I get and I won’t be working in the evening from home.  If I am out for a week, I will be out for a week and there won’t be a damn thing he can do about it.  So like my late partner used to say you fuck me, I fuck you and we all go fucking crazy!  Bastards.  It’s got me just a little fired up.

Tuesday… we closed at 2pm.  Hardly worth getting out of bed to come in.  Last night I messed with the thermostat because it was too hot in here we were all burning up.  So I turned it down one degree and the furnace went off.  All was good, until I woke up this morning to no heat.  Seriously!  I tried every trick I knew to get the damn thing to run but the fan would kick on for a couple minutes and then it would turn off.  I was going out for supper but instead came home because I was worried I would have to call a repair person.  I know it’s coming, just a matter of when.  Anyway, it appears to be working now.  So I won’t be touching it  - heat is very important.  Lucky the kids have fur coats they can stay toasty, plus they have built in heaters.  Maybe I should just snuggle with them!  Talk about being cheap.

Paid all of the bills that I know of right now.  Have $41 left to my name.  No word from the mortgage company, I got voice mail and left a message when I called yesterday.  No response from them yet.  I called back today and got the same thing.  I will be trying on Thursday and Friday as well.  If that gets me no where then I will call back on Monday.  Eventually the lady has to come back to work.  Plus my attorney gets back on the 6th so then she can take over the phone campaign.  I have a # to customer service but they aren’t too helpful and I am told the person my attorney has found is more than helpful.  So I kind of look forward to speaking with her.  I really hope that I get different results this time.

Saw a picture of a neighbor that I grew up with.  Man he turned out like the rest of his family.  Short and very, very fat.  He’s a cop but there is no way in hell he could run.  He would probably have a heart attack. 

I found out that one of my late partners friends passed away.  No one called I read it in the paper by chance.  So Thursday I will be going to the Funeral Home and I just hope I can keep it together.  This isn’t exactly a great time of year for me.  Plus I know what his wife is going through.  He was 80 or 82 so he lived a good long life. I fully expect that she will be following him shortly.  They did everything together.  Sort of like me and my guy.  It wasn’t one of us it was both of us or we weren’t there.  At least my guy has a friend to keep him company.  He was always worried that one time we would go to visit this guy in the hospital and it would be the last time.

So there you have it Monday & Tuesday.  Tomorrow going over to friends house to have dinner and chat, plus drop off their present.  If I have time I will do a surprise drop by my mom’s.  I thought her or my brother would call tonight but no such luck.  They will probably call in the morning is my guess. 

Thursday – I have to talk with the phone company both cell and landline to try to negotiate a lower price on my bills, it’s not a requirement but it sure would help me if they gave in.  I have to visit the court house to drop off that letter.  I have to call for a payoff on my car and then figure out if I want to pay it off or continue with monthly payments.  After all that work it will surely be time for a nap.  I am sure some idiot will bother me from work but I certainly hope not.  I made it very clear if you call or e-mail me I am on vacation and can be reached if you have an emergency.  Funny thing is what they think is an emergency really isn’t. 

Oh, I did watch Don Jon tonight.  Amazon came to their senses and allowed 48 hour rental for $4.99.  Joseph Gordon Levitt looks so damn fine in that movie.  Shame no naked booty shot though.  It was interesting but really all the hype was just that hype.  Nice way to occupy a couple hours. 

I will be seeing Tyler Perry’s Madea Christmas either on Thursday or Friday – not sure yet.  Well time to get upstairs and snuggle, the furnace is on and I am getting tired since it’s late. 

Talk with you peeps later!

Ladies & Gentlemen

Greetings again reader!  Sounds like a robot phrase. :)

So it’s been an interesting weekend.  I got home late on Friday because I was stuck at work with a computer problem and it was our office managers computer.  She finally took delivery of the machine I built her in October.  Jeez. She was whining that her machine didn’t work and it was slow, etc.  Yeah, it was jacked up with spyware.  That’s what happens when you goof off at work and surf the internet on sites you shouldn’t be on.  Anyway, I am holding my breath because if there is something wrong I will surely hear about it.  I built it just like any other machine, it’s just that I don’t usually have to update virus definitions and apply a mass of windows updates when I normally deploy a machine, all of that is done when it’s being built.  That woman is my enemy – she loves me to my face but stabs me in the back every chance she gets. 

I have been very concerned about finances, the house and keeping my furry family together.  I put it off as long as I could but last night I sat down and did some serious number crunching and thinking of different scenarios.  I found what I believe to be the perfect mix.  It requires me to part with money in savings, but it will keep me here.  So first I have to pay his bankruptcy from savings.  Then I have to make my car payment from savings.  Later this week I will be calling for a pay off and if it’s cheaper I will just go pay it off and be done with it.  The question is all about interest and where it’s going to benefit me the most.  That is it.  I should also try to reduce expenses as much as possible so I will have to try going back to once a month haircuts.  Right now I have a gift card I bought and there are still 2 haircuts left.  I also am going to reach out to Ma Bell to find out if I can make my home and cell phones cheaper.  I know I will probably have to give up some features but anything will help me.  Finally, regardless if the present lender works with me or not, if my figuring is correct then I will be okay.  I call them tomorrow so cross your fingers, eyes, ears, toes and say a prayer.  I hope they finally see the light and decide to work with me.  That would be the best Christmas present right now.  I’m looking for a $500 reduction in the payment, but anything will help.  I also pray that Uncle Sam is good to me come tax time, presuming so that will be extra money that I can use to continue to stay afloat.  Not trying to be negative but I did factor in if I lost my job.  Well then I could make it for about two months that is paying everything.  After that I would be toast.  My hope is that I don’t lose my job and that I am able to find something after the 1st of the year that will afford me more money, a better environment and  the chance for a promotion with a decent boss who isn’t a total dick.  Time will tell on how it works out.

Friday night on the way home I stopped off to pick up my medicine at the pharmacy.  Wow a hot looking guy took care of me.  He was married or so I believe because I saw a wedding ring.  He was kind of nervous and when I gave him a $100 bill he really kind of freaked out.  Then it was off to the pet food store.  I paid cash there as well.  Then home to the kids and unpacking, feeding them and having cheese popcorn and a soda for supper.  I was tapped out.  Very long day!

Saturday I had to get the mail, go to Target which I learned because of their data breach they were giving everyone 10% off, I went crazy on cat litter, paper towels, soda and I got the portable speaker I wanted.  It’s not Bluetooth it’s wired with a 3.5mm connection that plugs in to the ear jack but it works and has a rechargeable battery.  I figured for $17 how could I go wrong? Dropped $96 and paid in cash.  Packed all that stuff away and then went down the way a bit to eat at a Mexican place.  I had an okay meal, service was crappy.  I went to pay the bill and there was a line that was getting longer and longer to check out.  When out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of a guy that I knew.  I did a double take and holy crap it was him.  A cutey that I have a crush on.  I know his name but he doesn’t know me.  We used to ride mass transit together.  He was with some other people and left to get something from the car.  They were right behind me.  I stared as long as I could at him, he didn’t give me the time of day.  He is married and has a daughter.  Yeah, I know isn't that the way.  So the people he was with had a little girl.  She asked her mommy if she could have some candy.  Her mother said no we have that at home.  Well that didn’t exactly bring joy to the childs face.  I saw what she wanted and it was only $1.  I paid my bill, in cash again.  Then dropped the extra dollar and got her what she wanted.  I handed it to her, said Merry Christmas and dashed out before anyone could realize what happened.  I did it because of two reasons.  One the guy I liked and Two I have always wanted to do something like that.  She was really surprised and started screaming Mommy I got one.  I felt all warm inside and like I did something good. 

Then I started thinking I am always the nice one.  Letting people cut in traffic, holding the door, etc.  Where has it got me?  Nice guys do finish last.  However, I will still probably continue to do all of those things. 

Came home and unpacked.  Watched TV and eventually took a nap. 

Sunday I didn’t go to the grocery store.  First time in a while that has happened.  Oddly enough I have everything I need to make it through two days of work, plus my time off so there really was no need to visit the store.  I did venture out to the Auto Parts store today.  I got a couple cans of Heat (you know the stuff in the yellow bottle that removes water from your gas tank and keeps your fuel line from freezing) plus I picked up a jug of Windshield Washer Fluid.  Then mailed a couple Christmas cards and came back home.  I found two other gallons of Windshield Washer fluid that I didn’t even know I had  Looks like I am well stocked for a while.  Then I got the bright idea to take out the truck.  It hasn’t been moved in near a month and with all of the weather we had I wondered if it would start.  It doesn’t really do that well in the winter unless you keep it going.  I cranked on it and it took a little bit but it started.  I went out for a little ride and then came back home.  I will be taking it Christmas day to my friends house.  The knob that controls the temperature is fixed so I had heat and it was great.  Bring my speaker along and listen to the tunes while I drive.  Should be a grand time. 

The cable bill arrived in the mail yesterday and I didn’t look at it until late.  When I realized that I could see Hours, the last movie that Paul Walker made on Pay Per View.  I was really excited about that.  It isn’t playing within 250 miles of my house, so I was wondering how exactly I would see it.  I watched it today.  Very touching and good movie.  Lots of things happened that I didn’t expect but in the end Father & Baby survived.  It is a shame that Paul isn’t still walking the earth.  He was a hot guy and a damn good actor.  I loved all of his work!

I have been hanging with the kids for the better part of the day.  Laundry and cleaning have happened, but really didn’t need to since next week is so short.  I figured why stop the routine.  I was going to move my monitor but thought it out and decided against it.  I just cleaned my desk and it looks really good now. 

Found Don-Jon on Amazon another movie I want to see.  Yes it’s because of Joseph Gordon Levitt.  He is so H O T.  They want like $17 to own the movie.  I don’t want to own it I just want to watch it.  Chances are pretty good that I will buy it because my flesh is weak.  I do have to visit the theater this week to see the Tyler Perry Movie …A Medea Christmas.  That has to be a goodie.  There is a theater a hop, skip and a jump away from home.  So probably on Thursday that is where you will find me. 

When I went cat food shopping, I saw this toy.  We have one already but it’s a ball inside a plastic circle with cardboard in the middle for scratching.  The kids just love it.  Well they had them on clearance for $8 so I picked up another one.  It’s louder than the one we have but everyone is in love with it.  They even included a couple pouches of catnip.  That draws them out like there is food in the house.  Even shy girl comes running, daddy give me some of that – yeah the powder.  I feel like a drug dealer but she just loves it.  Seeing them react to catnip makes me think that the human equivalent is rolling around in a bed of money.  Lets hope I get a chance to do that someday. 

I saw someone online tonight that was just okay looking.  However we have a 72% match – lots of things in common.  He is younger than me.  Doesn’t appear to be a looker.  I messaged him, have to wait and see if he responds back.  Even if we don’t make a love connection, we could at least become friends.  Who knows.  On-line dating is kind of scary when you think about it.  Your seeing one photo and reading some words but you could be talking to the next Jeffrey Dahmer and not know it.  That is why meetings will have to occur in a very public place.  When we are done, we just go our separate ways.  I was blunt and asked him for a date.  I haven’t had any luck thus far and figured it couldn’t hurt anything.  The worst he can say is no. 

I do believe boss man will be in town tomorrow, even though I didn’t think he would be in.  It would be nicer if he were away but as long as he leaves me alone I will be fine.  There is plenty for me to do.  Plus I figure Monday will be a full day.  Tuesday I am expecting to get to leave early.  After that I have the rest of the week off and will be happy as long as the blackberry strapped to my hip like a bomb doesn’t go off.  Most people are taking off the rest of the week like me.  I guess great minds really do think alike. 

That is all that was new in my world.  Stay warm and be safe.  I will talk to you peeps later.  Hopefully next time I will have good news on the mortgage.  :)

Bankruptcy Update

So I heard back from the attorney my partner retained.  He was not exactly pleased as punch with me but he was to the point.  Simply put by writing the Judge I have ‘red flagged’ the case and if I stop paying there is a possibility the Trustee would enter an order to have the house sold so that the creditors could get paid since I was no longer paying each month.  I would be evicted from my own home. 

See I didn’t want to cause any problems I simply was saying hey this is a huge burden on me and I want to get rid of it.  No one will help me.  It just feels like legalized extortion. 

There is a little more than a year to pay before we could approach the court for a Hardship Discharge.  It’s either pay or part with $4 thousand dollars.  I think it would be smarter to pay it monthly because if something goes awry with the house then I can simply stop paying everyone.  Then that money is truly mine. 

I thought about transferring the house into my name but I am told that won’t stop any legal action.  If they want the house they will get it.  Lock, Stock and Barrel.  This is tantamount to paying a bully my lunch money for “protection”.  Sucks!

So perhaps I will be paying after all.  I don’t have plans to send any money this month but they might get something next month. 

An attorney friend of mine explained it to me like this.  Say money was no object and you parted with $20,000.00 to lend to a friend to buy a Firebird.  Your friend gets the car and enjoys it, he is paying you but suddenly he dies.  You see his son driving all around town in the car but he is no longer paying you.  Would you make a move for the car?  Yeah, I probably would.  Well that is what the creditors are doing.  He owed them money and it’s time they get paid back.  Right but it was Him that owed the money not me.  Yes, but you are living in his house which is his only asset prior to death so it’s like your driving the car but you don’t want to make the payments.  Okay, so I get it.

I then said what would you do if you were me?  Without missing a beat she said….get rid of all of those cats, save that money, make the Bankruptcy payment, put the house up for sale and look for a new place to live.  Cut expenses where you can.

With the Bankruptcy payment I would have to continue it until it was discharge or a hardship discharge was granted.  Otherwise whomever the house would be sold to could be evicted at which point they would be coming after me personally.  They would want their money back plus damages.

Just a messy situation no matter how you look at it.  I am not exactly thrilled.  What are your thoughts?  I am curious to know if you were faced with my dilemma what you would do.  I’m responsible ultimately for the decision I make.  I am just interested in getting advice.

Thanks for reading.  TTYL

Holiday Work Humor

Christmas party post-mortem

Baker Donelson Bearman Caldwell & Berkowitz PC

Adam H. Gates

MEMORANDUM

TO:               Management Team

FROM:           Company’s Legal Counsel

DATE:            December 23, 2013

RE:                Christmas Party Post-Mortem

*************************************************************************

The events that unfolded at the Company’s mandatory, in-house Christmas Party last week have resulted in the following pending matters and changes to Company policies:

First, at the Christmas Party, we will no longer require employees to participate in an off-key rendition of Joy to the World, as a pre-condition of receiving their holiday bonus checks.   We are checking with the EEOC to see if Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer would be sufficiently secular to use for next year's party.

Second, next year’s party will be voluntary. Because the party was mandatory, the Company must compensate all hourly employees who attended or face possible wage claims. Thus, we must now explain to the Board of Directors why the Company should pay the entire Accounting Department for playing Truth or Dare until 4 a.m. Saturday.   

Third, hourly employees will not be asked to set up the party, serve hor d'oeuvres, tend bar, sing carols on demand, wear Santa hats, or clean-up after the party for the same reason cited above. We must arguably pay these employees for the hours they performed these tasks. I am certain that we are the only company in town that paid time and a half and provided full benefits for individuals to provide catering services.

Fourth, Wendell from the mail room had never mixed drinks before being asked to bartend. He therefore made exceedingly strong drinks and apparently spiked the non-alcoholic punch at the behest of several members of the Sales Team. Next year, non-alcoholic beverages will be available (and will be protected from becoming alcoholic). We will also convert the jello-shots table to a full buffet and stop serving alcohol an hour before the party ends.

Fifth, it turns out that Wendell from the mail room is a Senior in High School. When his mother tracked his phone to Peggy from Human Resources’ house the morning following the party, she called the police department. If we serve alcohol at next year’s Holiday Party, we will ensure that everyone who partakes is 21 or over. We will also provide a car service to ensure employees get home safely. The criminal aspects of this matter remain pending.

Sixth, though it seemed charitable for Peggy to make sure that Wendell made it all the way home, all Company policies apply to the conduct at the party, including our prohibition of sexual harassment. Thus, instead of high-fiving Wendell, Tommy from Ethics should have taken his complaints about Peggy’s advances seriously and followed the Company’s policies and procedures for reporting and addressing harassment. 

Seventh, because every drink that Wendell made was a triple and there was no non-alcoholic alternative, several instances of sexual harassment, in addition to Wendell’s complaint, reportedly occurred. We are sorting through the various complaints, including one lodged by Tammy from Shipping, who claims that Lloyd from Data Processing repeatedly attempted to give the reindeer on her Christmas sweater a massage. Next year, Human Resources must send a pre-party reminder that Company policies apply at the Christmas Party just as they do during a normal workday. The same goes for enforcement of those policies.

Finally, the Company may also be facing Workers’ Compensation exposure. Jeff from Marketing threw out his back during a dance fight with Darrel from Maintenance, and he has not been able to fully stand since the party. Because the party was mandatory and clients were invited, Jeff may have a workers’ compensation claim because this arguably occurred while he was in the course of his employment.