Almost….

Last night I got a surprise when I got home.  I found out that the person who works the late shift had to run an errand and was going to be gone for a while.  So I got an early start to on-call.  Thankfully not a sound, not even a whisper.  That is until 5:30a this morning when someone sent an e-mail.  I didn’t have to do anything with it but trying to go back to sleep is a little difficult.  Plus I had to listen to Marvin yell at me because his sleep was disturbed. 

I had Baked Frozen Chicken with mash potatoes and corn for supper last night.  Something I saw a co-worker have and thought I will try it.  Pretty good even if the portion size is small.  Desert was finishing up the Haagen Daz Banana Split Ice Cream.  Insty & Momma knew what I was eating but LB had no clue.  I even got to throw away the container without drawing attention to it.  However, when I threw the chicken bones away his face just lit up as if he was saying oh I get to rummage in the trash.  I told him not to even think about it.  I put them in a sandwich bag so they hopefully wouldn’t draw any attention.  I could have put them through the garbage disposal but it’s just easier to throw them away. Thus far he has stayed out of the trash and I don’t think I have anything to worry about. 

TV was pretty good last night, I was watching Suits when I just couldn’t keep my eyes opened so I went to bed.  I will have to rewind it a bit and see what I missed while I was dosing.  Plenty of good TV waiting for me, all I need is time to watch it.  Speaking of which I decided to treat my self and I have scheduled off the 27th.  I am going to make an appointment for my car to get the oil changed and hopefully there won’t be any other surprises.  Then I am going to go home, put the phones on do not disturb and binge watch the 3rd Season of House of Cards.  I have gone back and forth on this and just decided last night to move forward.  It’s my time and I might as well get some enjoyment from it.  Plus it will be nice after being on call and running ragged to just take a day and wind down and let the wind blow and not care about what it may stir up. 

Cold weather is back, we had some flurries over night.  Just enough to mess up the morning commute but thankfully I didn’t have to sit in traffic that long and managed to make it to work with 15 minutes to spare.  Things were really slow to get started today but now that we are in full swing it’s been non stop one thing after another.  The guy that sits next to me has had 2 crappy days in a row.  I heard him complaining to someone on the phone and he was saying it’s just not getting any better.  So I went to the soda machine and got him his favorite soda and took it to him.  That put a little cheer in his day.  I like to help when and where I can.  That was a small gesture but I know that it will go far.  Plus he’s answered a lot of questions for me and been a big help, it’s the least I could do. 

Not sure what I will be stuffing in my gullet tonight but it will probably be something frozen.  Unless I am just bone chilled cold then I will be having soup, which kind of sounds appealing.  I am anxious for this week to end and hope that I can get some rest over the weekend.  I am expecting to be busier than normal since the # of people I am supporting went up, it only makes sense.  I am not anxious to see what happens but come Monday at 7am I will be happy that it’s done and over with, until then it’s like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

I bought a Power Ball ticket last night and didn’t even have one number.  My little voice told me to get one so I did.  I guess my odds were the same regardless if I had a ticket or not.  I told the lady that I wanted the winning ticket and that I would be willing to share with others, just a portion of the jackpot would be wonderful.  However, I didn’t bank my future on it so I am not terribly depressed about it.  I just don’t have luck that way and if I did I know I wouldn’t be working for a living.  That money would certainly solve my man problem, I would have to push them away because everyone would want their piece of the pie, so to speak.  Ah, well it is what it is. 

Talk with you peeps later.  Take care, be well and stay warm!

Mario Andretti Rides Again

I sent an e-mail to my Dr. and got the new version of the medicine.  His Nurse want to be a doctor answered it and said it was taken care of.  In looking on-line this morning she increased the dose to twice what it was.  So I did some checking and the lower dose I took is available but rather than fight on trying to get the proper dose, I see on-line where people take it every other day instead of every day.  So I am hoping that is the way it’s been prescribed.  If not that is how I will start on it.  It’s a great drug but the side effect is that it artificially keeps you awake, which is why I only take 1 pill a day instead of 2.  I did two for a long time but found that I had problems.  So I take a different drug in the evening, lower dose and I don’t feel any side effects.  So I think I have resolved another problem. Go me!

Last night when I made my rounds to ensure all of the conference rooms were in order I noticed that traffic was snagged up.  I figured it would work it’s self out.  I was wrong, when I left we had the conga line in the garage.  So I had to wait for someone to give me a break so I could back out.  Then do the inch worm down to the street level.  Instead of going towards the problem, I went away from it and that made all of the difference in the world.  I got home at a reasonable time, which is normal.

I managed to get behind poky people on the way home, finally it opened up and I managed to get those pokies to move out of my way.  I floored it to create some distance and just as I did some ass wipe decides it’s a good idea to change lanes.  I was doing at least 85mph so I couldn’t exactly stop.  I did try and they realized the issue and attempted to swerve back into their lane but at the last second they changed their mind and over they came.  Some how by the grace of God I managed to pass them on the shoulder (we were in the fast lane) and I never made contact with the concrete wall or their car.  It was truly a miracle.  I am the first to tell you that at times when I drive I take risks, when I get the idea I am coming through there is no stopping me.  I was trained by the very best driver to ever walk this earth, in my opinion.  Of course I am speaking of my late partner.  He didn’t take risks like I do, that is something that was bred into me and I was kind of erratic when I was driving the riding mower when I was a child.  Everyone envisioned that I would be a horrible driver and have lots of accidents but that didn’t happen.  I have had my share of accidents and honestly I am over due for one the same goes for a speeding ticket.  However, I don’t want either.  If I would have wrecked last night my car would have likely been totaled, I would have had some serious injuries and I have no idea on how the other person would have faired.  I was doing the higher speed so that is why I am anticipating that my injuries would have been more sever.  After it was all over with I couldn’t believe that I made it through and I was literally and physically shaking in my own car.  It was a huge high but also a slap in the face.  I started thinking about the cats, my bills, etc.  It was as if my life semi flashed before my eyes.  I can’t say that has caused me to slow down but I can tell you that it has caused me to be just a little extra careful.  Phew, it was close!

No sooner than I get home my cell phone is ringing.  My friend who has the spyware infection calls and gets me to talk them through how to potentially get back on the internet.  Lucky for them it was pretty simple just unchecking a box for a proxy server.  Spyware turns that on and then you can’t get on the internet.  Most of the time you turn it off and if your still infected it will switch right back on.  They apparently have killed whatever was on their machine because they could get on the net.  I told them to run another Malwarebytes scan to be sure that everything is gone.  I still think the machine should be rebuilt but if its working I am not going to push it.  That is honestly more work and responsibility that I don’t want to take on.  So it’s better for both of us if it keeps working and there aren’t any problems.  I guess I dodged yet another bullet.

Now on to the land of being on-call.  The phone went bat shit crazy last night but it was all before 11p.  The problem was that it was still going off at 9 and 10 when I was trying to relax and fall asleep.  I got woke up a couple times but then things settled down.  I woke up in the middle of the night and had 4 more hours of sleep to get.  I got a couple of them.  I was wide awake around 5am and just tossed and turned in bed.  I was hot the furnace was on and I anticipated the phone going off.  Sure enough it did.  One of my co-workers was calling in for the day.  No big deal just roll over and go back to sleep.  Then about 15 minutes before I was supposed to get up I got an actual call.  They didn’t say it was urgent but I figured it’s early enough and seemed to be easy I would just take it.  So I did.  Wow I got them fixed but it took me a little extra time.  My brain wasn’t awake and I couldn’t locate their account or their machine because I had their name wrong.  I thought it was someone trying to exploit us but no it was just the fact that I wasn’t fully awake.  I hope this is the last early morning call I get all week long.  I did manage to make it out of the house a couple minutes late but still got to work with plenty of time to spare.  The kids were really confused and they were begging me for breakfast.  I’m no fool take care of the caller first then take care of the kids, otherwise they will expect breakfast twice because I went downstairs and came back up.  I know how they think.  I am stopping for cat food on Friday night because I anticipate that Saturday might be a day where I can’t leave the house and I wouldn’t want the children to starve.  I will be leaving at some point to get the mail and everything will just have to wait.

Life here at work this morning is very slow, which is kind of uncommon.  I wonder if it’s the calm before the storm.  Normally we are bustling.  Hopefully there is no storm.  A nice slow but smooth day would be fine with me.  Even though I am already to go home.  It’s Comedy Wednesday which means TV time with the beggars.  We will each get something out of it.  I get to spend time with them and them with me, that by far is the biggest benefit of all.  Treats and TV those are just extra perks.  The fact that I am on-call but that it doesn’t start until later will give me a chance at a peaceful evening or so I hope. 

If anything else of note happens I will be back with another post.  Otherwise I will talk with you peeps later.  Take care and be well. 

Change

I got a phone call from the hospital they wanted to verify my insurance information.  I called back last night and left a voice mail, if the lady that listens to it can’t tell that I am upset, then there is something wrong with her.  I think, hope, and pray that this will be the end of it.  Sounds like they are going to resubmit the claim.

Today I got a call from my mail order pharmacy and they left a cryptic message saying they were from accounting and to call back.  I looked and they are actually over paid, I figured they were calling about their money and forgot to post a payment.  Nope turns out that one of my drugs an antidepressant is no longer covered by my insurance.  I am taking a generic form and they want $194, but when I price the medicine on the web in their on-line portal it tells me my cost is $94.  Confused?  So am I.  I did some research and found they will cover the drug if it’s in an extended release form, they don’t cover sustained release.  All I know is I’d like to stay on this drug because it doesn’t have any major side effects.  The biggest one being impotence.  I don’t want to take a pill to be happy and a pill to get it up.  That seems so counter productive, not to mention expensive.  Plus ED drugs are tightly regulated and they only allow you a small amount of pills every 30 or 90 days.  So if your sex drive is high you won’t be having sex as often.  Been there done that with my late partner.  It would have been nice to get a heads up so I wasn’t caught off guard.  I priced a couple of other medicines that I take and thus far everything is coming up as covered.  So hopefully there won’t be any more surprises.  I will have to reach out to my doctor and see what he thinks about switching to a different version of the medicine.  If that is a no go, then I will ask how I can get off the medicine – you have to taper your dosages so your body doesn’t go into withdrawals.  I tried that before many years ago and I got very sick from it – it was so bad that I was praying my life would end.  So I know not to do that. 

Change if it’s not medicine it’s in life.  It’s an on going process that is constantly evolving and as humans we are resistant to it, unless of course there is a clear benefit to us.  Like lower cost, more features, improved, better.  Not all changes is good but if you aren’t willing to explore a little bit then you will never know. 

A friend of mine is always calling me with computer issues and to try to curb that I told them last night that I no longer have a remote control tool that I can use.  So I was on the phone for hours trying to help them remove spyware from their machine.  It was like trying to tell someone how to walk.  I was never so happy to hang up the phone.  Today I get a text message they can’t get on the internet.  I told them turn it off and leave it off.  I will have to come out to fix it and we will have to coordinate that.  It won’t be this week and next Saturday I have a therapy appointment in the morning.  Then the rest of the day is open.  I know they will want me out ASAP and this is a job that could easily occupy an entire day and then some.  It all depends upon how bad the infection is and if I can get them back to a useable state or if I will have to format and start over.  I told them last night that it sounded like formatting and starting over would be the best course of action but they didn’t want to listen to me.  I think in the removal process they actually wound up installing something which has locked them out of the internet.  I understand what it feels like to be away from the net or not able to get on when you want to, but if you wouldn’t have clicked some rouge button that appeared on a website then none of this would have ever happened.  I pray that I don’t have to rebuild it because that will be more effort than I am really willing to put forth for not charging.  They are limited income people and I get that but I am not a charity and I get paid to work. So this should be interesting.

My day started with a bang at 5:30a when I got a call to install a printer.  Yes I am serious and it was urgent.  I don’t know anything that is so critical that it has to be printed at o’dark 30 in the morning.  I couldn’t go back to sleep and have been up ever since.  This combined with my little sleeping problem left me felling less than rested. 

I wouldn’t say I am having a bad day but I wouldn’t say it’s a good day either.  I am just hanging in there.  I’ve got to run work will be calling again.  Take care and be well.  We shall talk again soon.

Average day

So here we are at another Monday.  Like every other work day morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed.  I woke up again in the middle of the night, multiple times.  The sound machine changed, which means there had to be a power hiccup.  Then I had to use the bathroom.  I don’t get it.  I thought maybe finding the pen would resolve the woes and allow me to have a good nights rest.  Perhaps it’s just knowing I am on call.  I have no idea.  Hopefully this little phase passes fast so that life returns to normal. 

Everyone is enjoying the bed I put in the living room.  I think they fight over who’s turn it is next.  Bear slept there all night long and got up for breakfast this morning.  I know he longs for something cushy to rest his head on and I think it gives him some security so that is why I dug it up.  Hard to believe but it’s almost time to order more pads for him.  1st box is about gone and the 2nd is waiting with his name on it.  Those pads are more expensive than litter.  I really wish he would go back to the litter box but I know that won’t happen, still I can wish. 

Supper tonight will be Hot Dogs.  I know it’s not healthy but I have had a craving for them.  It is either that or left over pizza.  I figure I can have Pizza on Tuesday.  Spice it up a little bit.  :-) .  The cold weather has returned, there was some traffic this morning but I still made it in with plenty of time to spare. 

Today has been crazy so far.  Phone ringing off the hook, people walking up and no shortage of things to do.  Makes me tired really fast.  I saw some left over pastry left out for everyone.  I grabbed a mini cinnamon roll and I thought I was going to need a jack hammer to chew it up.  I managed, it was tasty but way too crunchy.  I guess that is what I get for eating it. 

I am stuck on the phone for a little longer than normal this morning, because things are crazy and we have a bunch of people moving in other offices.  So everyone else has to cover the phones.  Even if they aren’t overly busy, usually when we saturate them with people the call volume slows down.  I have things to do here, but shifted them to the afternoon. 

Shameless & Looking were okay last night.  I think my mind zoned out, plus I had interruptions with the children.  I heard some strange meow type noise that I have never heard before.  I went running but everyone looked at me like I didn’t make it.  I think it came from Insty but everyone was/is okay.  They sure keep me on my toes and help to make sure the blood remains flowing.   Leaving them in the morning is the hard part, knowing that they will be alone and probably sleeping makes me jealous.  Plus I do miss them. Thankfully the camera is working again so I can spy on them.  I can’t see the bed on camera because the love seat is in the way, but I am sure that it’s occupied even as I am typing this. 

So just your average Monday.  Looking forward to lunch time and catching up on YouTube Videos.  That is always fun, plus watching an episode of The Middle, provided I have time.  Lunch time seems to be the time everyone wants to interrupt me or there is a meeting that needs my attention ahead of time.  We should have another team meeting on Wednesday, which I am sure will leave my head spinning. 

I’d like to see if I am out of touch.  To get a simple buzz cut and shampoo do you think $23 (includes tip) is too much?  I think so, I know Fantastic Sam’s will do it all for $12.99 but there buzz is with the plastic clipper guards and they don’t go as close as the blade guards, which I have come to like.  I could skip the shampoo which would knock off $6 and I could shampoo at home, but there is something about a stranger washing your hair that feels oh so good to me.  It’s like a mini massage but for your head. 

Here’s hoping your Monday is going well.  Talk with you peeps later. 

Lost & Found

What goes up, must come down.  What is lost must eventually be found.  Yes, I finally found the pen!  It was right where I put it for safe keeping.  In my bottom desk drawer.  I started upstairs and rummaged around in his office again today, I also threw away a bunch of paperwork that he kept.  Everything from old phone bills to old medical bills.  I did think about shredding some of it but he’s dead if someone wants to steal his identity have at it, he’s in bankruptcy and couldn’t get credit if he were alive to try.  I found old mortgage statements where the payment was actually greater than what I had been previously paying.  It made me appreciate him that much more but still I wondered how he managed to get by. 

While I am happy I found the pen, in looking at it I remember exactly why I gave it to him.  It’s ugly.  It’s a brownish color when I was going for more like a tiger with stripes color.  In case your new here or didn’t know I have a HUGE writing instrument aka Pen fetish.  I have expensive taste but not necessarily the money to give in.  Some of the pens I own are made by Mont Blanc (my all time favorite), Pelican, Tombo, Waterman, Cross, Retro 1951 and Lamy.  I also like the ‘cheap’ pens you can pick up at any office supply store.  I have more pens than one person should have.  While I can’t write with all of them at once I do enjoy switching often which keeps it interesting and fun for me.  Life is short and you might as well enjoy it while you can. 

This afternoon one of my friends called, just as I was about to turn my phone off.  It was nap time.  She told me she was chatting me up to one of her gay friends.  Yeah, that is all I had to hear and I knew where this conversation was going.  She told me that he had a partner, which relieved me but then she said he knows of a guy who also just lost his partner.  They talked about a night out together in a couple months from now.  Oh boy, not exactly what I wanted.  I said so this guy who your trying to fix me up with, how old is he?  60 she said, I said well that is a deal breaker right there.  If he were younger then it might be something to consider.  I have already buried my true love and I am not looking to sign up to do it again.  She said well were meeting up at a gay bar and there will be other guys there.  Yeah, if I am with her, plus her friends how in the world will I get time to talk to someone else?  I don’t want to do this.  Even though it might be good for me.  The worst part is she has it planned for a Friday evening and it doesn’t start until late, like the time I would normally be going to bed.  After working all day I am supposed to drive across the earth to pick her up, then to a gay bar and when we are finally done I have to cart her happy ass home and then drive across the earth to get to my place.  Fuck no, that is too much time on the road, too late at night and I don’t want to do it.  So since she wouldn’t take no for an answer I told her that I would think about it. 

Then I went to lay back down and sun of a bitch, she called me again.  Now she wants to meet up to get a bite to eat.  I told her not today.  I mean I should have and could have but I chose not to.  Needless to say I got maybe 5 minutes to relax, never fell asleep.  That is probably a good thing, so I can sleep tonight. 

I just looked at the calendar at work a short time ago to find out who else is on-call from other teams.  The guy that I met during training is on for the networking team, hopefully all will be quiet.  There was an outage today which caused a fair amount of calls to flow in.  I looked at Friday night it was dead.  I looked at Saturday and it was busy from 10a until 3p then nothing.  This morning it started at 7a and the last call I saw was at 4p, which is almost a full day.  I hate to tell anyone but I will still do my usual running me and the cats need food, plus I have to get the mail.  The thing that I will enjoy is that there is no rushing home to beat a 7p deadline.  I can relax and enjoy my evening and even fall asleep when I want.  The problem comes if someone calls and it’s after 11p, which I hope doesn’t happen. 

I did the usual eat out this morning and went to the store, finished up laundry.  Had pizza for supper.  I will be having ice cream later and watching Looking & Shameless, all the while loathing that each hour brings me closer to Monday morning.  Ugh.  I mean I am happy I have a job but I would just as soon have 1 more day off and not be on call.  However, it will all be over with soon enough.  You have to take the band-aid approach and just rip through it until you reach the end. 

This morning I was up super early so I sat and finished watching Sordid Lives the movie.  It really pretty much rehashed the TV series.  I saw that via Netflix.  I did have a movie I was watching on Here but it was boring.  I paused it and then turned the TV off.  Turns out when you turn the TV back on the movie picks up automatically from where you left off.  Now that is kind of cool.  With cable I had to press buttons to make that happen.

I had a wonderful idea, I bought Bear a bed a while back but had to take it away because he kept going to the bathroom in it.  Well I got tired of doing laundry.  So I lined it with a pee pad and brought it back upstairs.  His sister was in it for the better part of the day.  Then he finally saw his chance and he went for it.  He ate his supper while in it.  Then his sister curled up next to him and they both fell asleep.  Of course by the time I went to get my phone, he was up and the peaceful perfect camera shot was no more. 

So I am feeling a little better today.  I still have the same needs and desires from yesterday in that I want and need a guy.  It’s the waiting I can’t stand, I am ready to speed it up.  Here’s hoping it will be a smooth and fast moving week and that there won’t be many or any calls after hours.  Now I probably just jinxed myself but my feet were crossed when I typed this and I believe we are no longer in the full moon phase so perhaps there will be no jinx even if Friday is the 13th!  Yeah and Saturday is Valentines Day, oh joy!

Have a great week and I will talk with you all again soon. 

Sandwiches & Tacos

I’m a little depressed right now.  Just thinking about how I am alone, wanting companionship.  I had a dream that me and my late partner were planning where to go for lunch.  Watching gay couples on TV, YouTube, etc really makes me long for a man to call my own. 

I was pretty hell bent on finding that damn pen I have been searching for.  I went into what used to be his office and tore the place apart.  I thought I would get some cleaning done but quickly it turned from cleaning to a search and recovery mission.  I began moving things from one side of the room to the other side and every place I thought to look, no pen.  I know that I bought it for myself and didn’t like it, so I gave it to him.  Then I ordered something similar but slightly different for myself.  He loved that pen and used it all the time.  Now I just want to find it.  I can help but think that perhaps it was stolen or that I threw it out.  I really want to find it, not that it will solve all of my problems but it will solve the mystery of where the damn thing is.  I know that I saw it here in the months after he passed.  However, I have obviously hidden it like a dog hiding a bone and I have no idea where I put it.  Thinking that it’s was stolen or thrown out really is depressing.  So I am trying to keep hope alive but don’t have much of it left. 

If your or you were a fan of my Podcast I have delete it.  I was quickly running out of things to talk about and the feedback that I received was minimal, I thought about going at it again but I have since decided it’s not worth it.  Perhaps I managed to help one of the few people who listened to it.  This may be something that I pick up again but for now it’s done.

See I told you I was feeling depressed.  Right now I am just ready to throw in the towel on everything that is how bad I feel.  Earlier today I wrote a letter about the outstanding medical bill that I have, where the  hospital refuses to resubmit the claim to my health insurance company and instead they want me to pay the full cost.  I didn’t proof read it well enough, the content is fine but I used the same letter that I sent last year and forgot to update the date on the letter.  So it looks like I wrote it last year when I just wrote it today.  I felt pretty stupid but well mistakes happen.

I got up early and got my hair cut.  While I was in the shampoo bowl I was left alone for a couple minutes.  I took the time to pop my neck.  It felt good at first but then it was like what in the world did I do.  I stopped by Target and got litter.  Then on to the post office where I finally got my gift card from the cat food store for over charging me.  I stopped to buy gas and get my car washed, then it was on to the pet food store where I used that card and food only cost me $19 this week.  Very nice!  Then it was home where I checked the oil on the truck and found that it was a quart low.  I added some and that was it.  I collapsed on the couch with some water and started to watch a movie, when I finally fell asleep. 

I had plans after my nap that I would venture out to the movies but that never happened and by the time I woke up I just said I will watch it when it comes out on pay per view/on-demand.  I treated myself to some Mexican food.  The cute guy that I liked brought me stale chips.  I made it pretty obvious that I was checking him out.  I think all I did was make him feel uncomfortable.  I hung around to have desert and stare at him some more.  Then paid my bill and left.  Home to start clean up and laundry. 

Here I am and it’s only 8p.  Last night when I got home I turned my cell phone off and used the Do Not Disturb feature on Uverse so that I was totally off the grid.  I needed time to be alone and not be interrupted.  I enjoyed the evening watching TV and being with the children.  I long to make them happy.  They are the only reason why I keep on going. 

It’s very clear to me that I need a guy and that is part of the answer to my problems.  The other answer is to just suck it up and start throwing shit away.  I don’t know where to start but I’m telling you once I motivate myself there will be no stopping me until I am done.  I always told him I would never clean his office again.  Little did I know…. So I think I will find that pen but only when I am not looking for it. 

I also took sometime today to write the bankruptcy attorney and ask him for the 1099 that I am pretty certain that the mortgage company sent him.  I gave him an envelope and a stamp so it won’t require that much effort on his part.  Once I get that document I can work on getting both of our tax returns filed and see how much money I will be getting back or that I will have to give away, or maybe both, depending on how things turn out.

Tomorrow will be breakfast and the grocery store.  Then finishing up on laundry and getting ready for Monday and my last week on-call until May.  I am not real happy that it’s coming up so fast but I will be very happy once I am done with it.  That’s all I have for now.  Off to watch TV and maybe get lost in a movie or two.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later. 

Easy Ride

The commute has returned to normal, which is a good thing.  I did have to sit in some traffic this morning because of an accident but it was nothing compared to what I have been through this week.  So glad we are at Friday.  I am looking forward to sleeping in a little bit as well as napping.  Ah, refreshing Saturday I can’t wait for you. 

I was a busy guy yesterday afternoon.  I found the e-mail that had the contact information for the hospital that is trying to charge me full price for blood work because my doctor gave them the wrong insurance.  I called that person yesterday and left a message asking if they had planned to resubmit or if they were going to just write it off.  I have heard nothing yet, but I am only at the start of my tirade with them.  I am trying to re-open a closed complaint with the BBB for the pet food store.  They promised to send me a gift card for my troubles but it’s not shown up yet.  I want my money.  When I got home I called AT&T about my extra $100 reward card.  The guy who answered the phone didn’t listen to understand what I wanted.  He finally gave me another phone number to call and I spoke with someone who knew exactly what I was talking about.  I have to call back next week because then it will have been 30 days and they can process that reward.  Super!

I called up a friend to see if we were getting together.  We stayed on the phone so long that it was time to get ready for bed when I was off the phone.  I felt lazy so I told the children they get a reprieve from their medicine.  Ruth threw up last night.  So we are on the stomach merry go round now.  She didn’t eat breakfast but she stood by and demanded her usual morning attention of petting and scratching.  She loves it.  Before I left I got to walk up to her while she was in a house on the cat tree and pet her.  Normally she wouldn’t allow that.  I hope her stomach springs back to normal soon. 

I had chili from a can last night for supper.  It was okay, I managed to accidentally drowned it in cheese.  I wanted a little bit but wound up cleaning out the bag.  Ah well.  I don’t really remember much about the chili because I was on the phone at the time with my pal.  Turns out we are not getting together this weekend.  So I guess I may be going out to see a movie.  Kind of depends upon how I feel.  We are supposed to have nice weather and the car washes will be crowded.

I think I have fixed my IP Camera.  I was able to web into it today, I found a setting that I think was causing all of the problems.  I also rebooted my router because I initially thought that was it.  Kind of cool being able to remote control your tech stuff when you are not at home.  Modern Technology is a wonderful thing but only when it works properly.  When it doesn’t it keeps people like me working, which I suppose is a good thing. 

Lots of good TV waiting for me on my DVR.  I started watching Lance loves Michael which is the Lance Bass wedding.  It’s kind of interesting.  I am thankful that they are sharing the footage but I think it was a little over done.  I am only about 1/2 way through it.  I had to go to bed.  I got to sleep by myself for part of the evening.  Then I woke up, and Marvin wanted in.  We both snuggled up and I went back to dream land.  I don’t get what this waking up in the middle of the night is about.  That usually happens when I am worried about something.  The only thing that is concerning to me right now is next week and being on-call again.  However, I thought I had managed to calm myself down about that.  Guess I might be wrong. 

I am looking forward to going home tonight and sitting on the couch catching up on all of the shows that I have recorded.  I really find it hard to believe that it’s been close to a month since I switched over to UVERSE.  I am very happy with the service, the price could always be lower but I know right now I have a good deal.

Long live the weekend and hopefully quitting time will get here really soon.  I hope it’s a great weekend for everyone and that we all have warmer weather.  It’s supposed to be unseasonably warm here for a few days, so goodbye to the snow.  However, we will go back into the freezer in a few days – winter is far from over.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

Traffic

I saw the weather was getting bad yesterday afternoon.  I left 5 minutes early but had to join the Conga line out of the parking garage.  Once I got out it was bumper to bumper the entire way home.  My top speed for the bulk of my commute never got above 10 mph.  Even on the freeway/interstate.  It took me 2 and 1/2 hours to get home.  I had enough time to say hi to the children who were pissed off because I was late and time to grab a quick bite.  Then it was on to bed.  I did have some time to watch a little TV, which was kind of nice.  Sure as 2 and 2 is 4 morning rolled around quicker than I wanted it to.

This mornings commute into work started off normal but quickly went down hill.  I played inch worm again for a good part of my commute and my top speed wasn’t over 60 mph.  I was late to work but only by 5 minutes.  I am thankful that I left the house early because I thought I would never get here.  If it wasn’t for the fact that I had a massage scheduled I would have done a U turn and went back home.  I still thought about it but that really isn’t how I want to use my time, so here I am.  Of all of the Thursday’s I wish today were Friday.  It has been such a long and laborious week.  This guy is ready for rest. 

The part I don’t understand is we get the same speech each time … slow down, take your time, etc.  but there are always accidents, cars run off the road or in ditches.  If everyone who knew how to drive would occupy the roads during bad weather and those that don’t know how to drive or are scared would stay home, I think that commute woes would be a lot less. 

My right foot is killing me from all of the breaking I had to do.  I wanted to wear my boots but figured that was over kill so I wore my normal shoes.  Tomorrow I think will be boot day, they seem to help fix my feet when they are stressed.  The problems that are on set with age really suck.  Getting older is no big deal but it’s the problems that come with age that are the real issue.  I am probably preaching to the choir, but I had to put it out there. 

Marv has been up and down all week long.  We start out in bed together then he wakes me up because he wants out and I let him out.  I use the bathroom and he has snuck back into my room and is ready for bed.  Only to repeat the process a couple more times.  Makes for not so much rest.  I wish he would settle down.  Last night he was eating his treats and Bear decided he didn’t get enough so he moved closer to Marv and pushed him out of the way.  Those boys sure are something else.  I like it when they play with each other.  That happened a lot more when they were younger and Bear was much healthier.  There is never too many dull moments.  When I was done with my shower I went into my room to find Insty curled up underneath the covers, like she is hiding and she was watching the news intently.  That is until I put my hand on top of the cover, then I started the meow machine.  That isn’t something she just stops when you tell her, it’s got to work it’s way out and it might be 5 minutes or it might be 60 minutes.  There could also be small breaks in between.  It’s rather annoying and often one of the reasons why I lose it with her. 

We are closer to massage time.  I am going to ask for more time face down than face up, because it feels better.  Plus there is nothing like a having someone rub your back with a hot rock, oh that feels so good.  I just wish there was time to take a nap afterwards.  If I wasn’t afraid of getting caught and losing my job, I would give it a go.  I’ve got a storage closet with limited access.  No one really ever goes in but me.  I could turn the lights out and sleep in a chair.  It wouldn’t be comfortable but it would be a nap. 

Early weekend plans are to get my hairs cut.  The usual grocery, cat food, cleaning, laundry.  Might get together with friends.  If that falls through then I may go to the movies by myself if I can find Blackhat playing.  I really want to see it. 

Well I shouldn’t eat early but I am going to, so that I don’t have to rush through lunch in order to make my massage.  I hope the rest of the day is smooth sailing and that the commute tonight is problem free.  It’s rather cold here and we don’t have but an inch or two of snow, there is some ice mixed in.  However, it’s really not that bad.  Best news is major warm up on the way starting tomorrow and continuing through the weekend, which is a good thing.  Take care and I will talk with you again soon.

The Middle

I bet you thought by the title I was going to talk about the TV show.  Nope, it’s the middle of the week.  It’s been a hell of a crazy ass busy day.  Go here, go there, back here… you get the idea.  My pedometer should have a lot of activity at the end of the day.  To top it all off I had to park far out in the garage, apparently everyone wanted to get here early today.  I almost didn’t make it because of traffic but thankfully things cleared up and I used my precision driving skills to breeze through traffic illegally but safely. 

I am fascinated with the landing system at the airport.  All of the towers and the blinking lights going off to point the way.  I kind of wish I could find a video of it.  Watching those lights has a calming effect on me and I am not sure why.  Last night I told the children like I do every night I will be back up in a few minutes and then like an hour and a half later I come up.  I was watching police pursuit videos on You Tube.  Very addicting.  It’s the thrill of the hunt, plus like I said yesterday the person who is fleeing usually winds up crashing.  While I understand the desire to run, it’s far easier to just pull over.  Chances are the consequences will be a lot less, you may even get off with a verbal or written warning.  Of course if your wanted, you will probably go to jail and that along with having illegal things on you or in your vehicle are typical reasons why people flee.  I suppose the criminal has no regard for other people and/or the fact that they might claim an innocent life.  While your goal is to out run the police, you could have an accident and cause someone serious injury or an untimely death. 

In other news, I kind of feel like I was setup to come out at work.  The other day I was talking with the lady from the Christmas party who is a Lesbian.  There was another guy in the room and she told me in front of him that I should go to a Bear Bar to find a man.  Okay hold the phone.  This was supposed to be private.  So I talked with her later in the day about it.  Turns out the guy who acts very feminine and says he isn’t gay (we just think he is scared to come out) apparently has the best gaydar ever.  He told her long before I told her that I was gay.  So I feel like she wanted to find out so she was crafty in her approach to make it seem innocent but really she was just trying to prove or disprove his gaydar.  I feel like this has spread throughout the office.  I have a couple people suddenly for no reason at all treating me differently.  If you know, well good for you – but it’s not something that I advertise.  If there are problems I will be sure they are addressed through management or HR.  I know that I am very well liked and highly thought of by most people here.  I am constantly being told that I am far better than the last guy that was here.  Knowing that makes a huge difference and being appreciated is something very basic that every human needs, it helps validate our existence.  Not to mention it feels good as well.  So while I am not exactly pleased as punch, I just keep on being me and doing my job.  It is what it is and there really isn’t anything I can do to change it.  It’s not like anyone is going to approach me and say oh I heard that your gay.  I mean that would take some balls and it would be totally over the line. 

In other news, I am considering taking a day off later this month on the day that Netflix releases the next season of House of Cards.  I will sit and binge watch that show, it’s just that good.  I could also use the day to get my oil changed and have my tires checked on.  I know they were marginal last time and that is another unplanned expense but I would rather pay and be safe than not pay and be sorry.  I am still mulling it over.  I have a couple thousand miles to go before the oil is actually due to be changed. 

The last few days I have been unable to connect to my camera at home to spy on the children.  I think it managed to grab a different IP address, so I am going to take a closer look at it tonight.  Spying on them is fun plus it helps ease my fears when I see them napping, playing or eating.  I know that everything is fine and that helps me relax, instead of worrying about what I could walk into. 

Well hi ho, it’s back to work I go.  I am sure this day will pass very fast and I will be going home.  The next dilemma to face is what is for dinner.  Not sure, but I am positive I won’t starve.  Take care and enjoy the rest of your day.  Talk with you again soon.   

Stress

Yesterday and again today things have been crazy busy and stressful.  Last night I was so thankful to go home, but here I am again.  I did manage to get some good sleep in.  I woke up around 2a from a dream and had to use the bathroom.  The children all thought it was breakfast time but it was in fact the middle of the night.  Marvin left me but when I woke up again and opened my door he came running in.  He loves my bed, it’s more like his bed than it is mine.  I am surprised that he allows his sister to use it like she does. 

I stopped for mail on a Monday, my gut told me to.  It was a very good thing, because my former employer mailed my W2 so that helped cross one worry off my list.  The person who printed it, didn’t know what they were doing and it printed figures over the wording on the form, so it’s going to be a little bit of a challenge to figure that out, but I think I will be okay.  The only other thing I am waiting on is the 1099 from the old mortgage company which will be coming in my late partners name and I am sure they have managed to mail it to his Bankruptcy attorney.  So I will probably have to beg him to mail it to me, because while it should be an automatic process it won’t be.  That is just the way he operates.  I am not looking forward to contacting him.

I was able to watch HERE TV last night and saw the 2 episodes of Mr. Gay Canada, I didn’t realize it was all the way back form 2008 – seems like it was yesterday.  Still Darren looked very pleasing to my eyes.  Then it was time to call it a night and get ready for bed. 

I like a little more relaxation in my day and to have things not so high key.  Tomorrow we have a large client coming in and were doing a presentation for them, that will have local AV needs.  That will keep me hopping tomorrow.  This is high profile and we can’t afford mistakes, which creates further pressure.  If we look like doo fuses then they may take their business elsewhere and obviously we don’t want that. 

Nothing like a little stress to penetrate your body and screw with your muscles.  Good news is the massage therapist will be here on Thursday, I just hope I have time to see her.  Life otherwise is normal.  Once again I find myself longing to get out of here and head home. 

Friday night I saw a disturbing video of a police shooting in my hometown.  A cop that my late & uncle knew who was a real go getter after something like 25 years he was injured bad enough that he can no longer be a cop.  I watched the video over and over again, I was in shock.  They did catch the guy.  It’s a wonder he wasn’t killed when the cops started shooting back.  It was a simple traffic stop and it went south apparently pretty quickly.  There were drugs and other weapons in the car, which is why the guy did what he did.  I am glad that they got him but sorry for the cop who’s career has ended. That has to suck. 

Speaking of police, the one thing I love is the way their cars shift gears.  Just listening to it is like listening to a great song.  It picks me up and then I start to feel the adrenaline kick in.  I love watching a chase because it mostly ends bad for the person who is running, no matter how careful they are or how good of a driver they think they are.  As the saying goes you might out run my Chevrolet but you will never out run my 2 Way (as in radio).  As if you can’t already tell I wish I were a cop but my allergy to bullets and fondness of jelly donuts has kept me away from that line of work.  Plus they honestly don’t make that much money unless you work at the State level or your lucky enough to get hired by a rich municipality. 

I’ve got a friend who’s son is in training now to be a State Trooper and one of the guys he is in there with used to be in the Marines.  He said that the Trooper training class is actually worse than anything he encountered in the Marines.  Wow, here I thought the Marines were the toughest.  I’ve heard that a lot of guys have dropped out.  It is a 6 month class and so long as he makes it to the end, he will have a job for several years.  It’s all spelled out in a contract.  This is his dream job, so I hope he gets it and then I can live vicariously through him.

Well back to the grindstone.  Talk with you peeps later.   

White Powder

I woke up to see a dusting of white powder on the ground.  I honestly had no desire to get up out of bed.  I got a wake up call at 2am but it didn’t require me to do anything other than look at my phone.  Given the fact that I have been up and down all week long, plus the events of last evening it’s no wonder why I didn’t want to get going this morning.  I thought about staying home but decided that is the best way to spend my Monday.  So here I am sitting at my desk passing the time and waiting for the next call to roll in. 

I got my password change in the one system that wouldn’t take it, so now everything is the way I want it.  I also checked the TV before I left and I am authorized for HERE now, so hopefully I will have some time tonight to tune in and watch a couple things.  The UVERSE experience is nice, a little more expensive than cable but what you get for your money is enough cost justification for me.  I just wonder how they are going to treat me after my initial 1 year term is up. 

There sure are a bunch of picky eaters at my house.  Insty hardly got any food this morning, she didn’t like what I put out so I gave her some ‘special food’ that is reserved for her sister and well that causes everyone to crowd around that plate, her sister comes charging over first.  The can crack is different and that is what gets her attention and she starts meowing as soon as she hears it.  Last night LB decided to eat treats.  I didn’t know he liked them.  He has so few teeth in his mouth I have no idea on how he manages to chew.  He loves his wet food and his water.  I looked at a photo of him when he first came in and was all mean and how he looks today.  He has lost some fur due to fighting when he was outside and he has lost some weight, he used to be a little more built – not fat.  I am glad that he turned from a fighter into a lover.  I have said it before and will say it again, those cats help keep me going. 

Things here at work started off busy but have calmed down.  The sugar I had for breakfast is wearing off and I am starting to get ready for a nap.  Too bad I won’t be able to take one.  The good news is the tattle tale that is good friends with the boss is working in a different office today so if I wanted to I could leave early.  I am not sure about the guy that sits next to me, if he would say anything or not.  I suspect not but then again as soon as you assume something, someone proves otherwise to you.  I will see how the day goes before I do anything like that. 

Last night I polished off a quart of Haagen Daz White Chocolate with Raspberry and some Chocolate Truffles.  LB saw me eating it and sat and waited patiently for me to share it with him, which I did.  Of course nosy Insty had to come over and act like she wanted some.  When I offered it to her she turned her nose up at it.  LB just loves ice cream no matter the flavor.  I have some Rum Raisin that I can’t stand maybe I should set that out and watch him devour it.  I would be afraid that he would get really sick or I would probably try it.  I am going to throw it out.

Taking a step back from last night, I am sure I over reacted by jumping off of on-line dating.  Honestly I hate the whole song and dance of starting a conversation and then maybe or maybe not getting a response.  Then if you do get a response you  dance around what do you like, how are you, etc.  I have been asked several times for ‘dick pics’ and why anyone would send and/or trade those on-line is beyond me.  I mean I understand the desire of seeing another man naked and the whole thrill of the hunt thing but really it would be super embarrassing and then to try to have a meaningful relationship with that person would be super awkward.  Plus you have no real assurance that the person on the other end is really of legal age and you could unknowingly be committing a crime.  I don’t want to go to jail and/or have my name in the paper because I tried to get a date.  Maybe I am way out of touch or too old.  I know there are a lot of younger guys on most of the sites and it’s usually the same group if you jump from app to app, like I have.  Different names but same photos.  I think they should make 1 app for the hookup and 1 app for the people like me who are looking for a relationship.  I am sure the hookup app would be much more popular but there are a few of us out here that want to get a meaningful relationship going.  Sex is apart of that but it’s not the end all be all for me.  File this under TMI but I have been taking care of myself in the sex department for quite sometime and while it would be nice to share that experience with another person, taking care of myself and moving on seems so much easier.  I need a companion and someone to snuggle with besides a cat.  I am lonely and dealing with it pretty well, I would say.  I am desperate but know not to settle for just anyone, I am looking for a particular person and when it’s right I will know he is the one.  The only problem is how will I ever get to meet him?  I am starting to seriously consider visiting a gay bar but doing that on my own would be way scary, then again I thought the same thing about climbing up on the roof and I did that all alone. 

Well I owe, I owe so back to work I go.  Happy Monday, talk with you peeps later.

The actions of 1

So I’m watching TV and browsing on-line dating sites.  I was on Tindr and found a really cute guy who’s profile said that he was 29.  I looked at his photos and decided he was a looker, why not take a chance.  Then we matched, wow I was really happy but that didn’t last long.

I was in the process of sending him a message when I see a message from him … “Dude I don’t feel safe with you, I’m telling my dad and he’s a cop”.  WTF  I did nothing wrong and haven’t even spoken with this guy.  What a very strange opening line.  Then he messages me back and says “Just kidding, send me your dick pic”. 

Now I don’t know about you but I think that is a very messed up person, 29 or whatever age he really is.  I don’t have those types of pictures and wouldn’t send them out if I did.  I should have told him I had a hot pussy and sent him a photo of one of my cats. 

Instead he really freaked me out, I instantly reported him and unmatched us.  Then I closed out all of my on-line dating accounts.  Goodbye I am done.  At least for now. 

Okay so I’ve done nothing wrong, why panic?  Why run?  My life was turned upside down and inside out when my partner passed away – I am in the process of recovering from that.  I’ve had my fair share of drama and problems.  I don’t need to add to the list and don’t need anymore drama.  My life is actually starting to come together and I wouldn’t want some sick person to mess things up for me and/or accuse me of something I didn’t do. 

I must admit I am desperate to find a man and start to build a new life.  However, I have always had my doubts about the on-line meeting.  I’ve had two very strange encounters and I think the 3rd might be enough to throw me over the edge.  I really don’t want to but think that it’s best I take a break, no matter how short or long.  I don’t feel comfortable or safe at this point.  Perhaps my feelings will change tomorrow or in the future. 

I’m just a little shaken up, even though I know I have done nothing wrong, other than matched up with a sick person and had an unfortunate encounter.  Now time to peel myself from the ceiling, get ready for Monday and hope that I am able to fall asleep in an hour or so.  As keyed up as I am I have my doubts.  Talk with you later.

Wrap up post

Friday afternoon Technology appeared to be working against me.  I got a call about something that I had just setup for someone, it wasn’t working as it was designed.  I spent a bunch of time trying to get it figured out and asking others for help.  No luck.  I have to wait until Monday to get advice from our resident expert on how to fix this.  Once I got home and was settled I decided to try to change my password on some new systems we just got access to.  The first one went fine.  The second one well no way, it keeps fighting me telling me that my passwords aren’t complex enough.  I know it’s a bad practice but at work, I like to keep the same password.  It makes my life easier.  So my regular pc and the server I am access are both on the same domain, meaning that they should have the same security policy.  My password for my pc was just changed and I want to make it the same on this server but it keeps telling me no.  How frustrating!  A co-worker was planning her sons birthday party and asked me to order him some train whistles through Amazon, because she knew I had prime.  I did it – the cost was $10, which isn’t that much money.  They said I would have them on Sunday, huh who delivers on Sunday?

Saturday I managed to sleep in a little bit.  I got the mail, got cat food and made a trip to the ‘special’ grocery store that carries my oatmeal and I picked up a few extra things.  I couldn’t believe that for the small amount I had that I racked up a $42 bill.  The place was packed because of the Stupid Bowl, you would have thought it was Thanksgiving.  Plus we had the prediction that snow was coming, so some people were there for French Toast, yeah you know Milk, Eggs and Bread.  Always keep those on hand so when it snows your set for Breakfast.  :-)  I was able to get started on laundry, I saw our Raccoon friends and worked a little bit with the trash, got the dishes done and had Mexican Food for lunch and supper.  Not bad.  I gave in to my weakness or addiction and signed up for a couple pay porn sites.  One of which I didn’t know what streaming only.  So I went on the hunt for ways to capture the video, there is plenty of software for this and I needed lightweight software because most of it took my pc down.  Some will record sound and others won’t.  I found a package that worked fine but it was $50 and that’s when I said this isn’t worth it.  So I cancelled the subscription.  I’ve got access for a month and then it’s gone.  I also made changes to Uverse, which I were coming for a while.  I added the Here Network for $7 extra a month.  Then I downgraded my Voice calling plan from unlimited to 200 minutes a month.  I save $10 (which when you do the math equates to $3).  I wanted to watch a couple things that are on this month, one of which is Mr. Gay Canada – it’s back when Darren Bruce one.  I really think he is hot.  We actually used to be Facebook friends when he was on a modeling show and then I guess he woke up one day and said who the hell is this guy and deleted me.  I tried to re-friend him and we exchanged some unpleasant words and life went on.  Still that won’t keep me from lusting after his body.  Unfortunately, changes with Uverse aren’t instant – the orders were processed right away but you have to wait for an activation date.  Here won’t be available until tomorrow.  I am still waiting to find out about my voice plan and if I see my bill increasing then I can always change back.  While I hate limits as in 200 minutes a month – I really don’t think I use my home phone that much.  I’ve got 450 on my cell and only 1 time have I used all that and then some, which was back when my late partner was in the hospital dying.  So I made the choices for me so that I can be happy.  I hope they were good choices.    Only time will tell.

Sunday out to fill up the car with gas, I had to switch gas stations because where I usually went the attendant kept mistaking me for a police officer and wanted to chat me up all the time.  It was fucking annoying as hell.  So now I pay a little bit more but I have peace of mind knowing that I won’t be bombarded with questions and chatter that I really can’t respond to, because I am in IT and not a cop.  I wish it was the other way around but everything happens for a reason.  In any case I grabbed breakfast and then went on to the grocery store.  This time before I headed out I remembered to look at my reward booklet – they are giving away pots & pans.  Well what I want you have to have a ton of stickers and then they want to charge you.  I decided nope, not playing any longer.  The promotion is over within the next few days.  Then we wait to see what they bring on next.  Thus far I have only gotten a cleaver for free and it’s still in the packaging.  I was going to re gift it but decided to keep it, as if I will ever use it.  Back to el homo where the beat goes on with laundry and putting the groceries away.  I managed to take a nice nap, which I really didn’t need but hey it’s done now.  I wanted to vacuum but everyone seems so peaceful, so I am skipping it for this weekend.  I still have to work on the trash and getting the crap off the wall that Bear left for me.  I wish he would have gone on his pee pad for that but he loves the hallway for some reason.  I’m putting a pad there just in case for next time.  I picked up Stouffers Limited Edition Family Size Mac & Cheese with Pepperoni.  It’s got white cheese, tomato sauce and pepperoni – looks delicious and it’s dinner tonight, so looking forward to it. 

The 1st round of being on-call will end tomorrow at 7a, which will be nice to have my life back.  It hasn’t been as taxing as it was in the past.  I had a couple calls over the weekend.  For the most part it’s fairly quiet – especially today because of the big football game.  I can only hope for quiet the next time I am on, which is in 2 weeks.  Then we will have a Friday the 13th and Valentines Day all in the same week.  I wonder what those odds will bring?  It’s always fun calling someone back when I have momma chirping in the background as she plays with her toys.  Vocal Woman but I love her.  That noise is music to my ears, except of course when I am working or trying to record a podcast.  Always seems to happen at the most inconvenient time. 

We had a claw trimming weekend for everyone but Ruth.  Her turn is next week.  I have been getting clawed to death first by Momma, then Insty and finally LB.  It hurts plus it itches like crazy.  LB took a swipe at my face and got me.  We were hugging and he was just being affectionate, plus letting me know that he wanted down. 

There you have it the Friday, Saturday and Sunday wrap up post.  Onward towards a new week, a fresh beginning and no worries of being on-call after 7a tomorrow!  I hope that you had an awesome 3 days and that the weather in your neck of the woods is nice.  If your a football fan and going to watch the Super Bowl I hope your team wins regardless if they have big or little balls.  :-)  Talk with you peeps again soon!