Eye C U with that Pizza

Last night I gave in to an overwhelming desire and re-read the book I wrote. The book details the experience of loosing my spouse as well as dealing with the aftermath that was left in closing out his life, which was not a simple task by any stretch of the imagination. There were things that I wrote that conflicted with my current memory and I can see how with time details can get fuzzy. It’s not a surprise that I had a nightmare but it was about getting fired from a job and had nothing to do with losing him. Kind of strange the way the subconscious plays tricks on us. I also realize that it’s not good to continually live in the past. As my late spouse would say, life is about forward not reverse. You have to keep progressing forward. While it took me sometime to put everything into words it took sometime to re-read it. I wasn’t through the entire thing but hey I know how it ends, I read up to a point where it was just good to stop and walk away. The pain from loosing him is still there and it’s kind of hard to imagine myself with another guy but I know that it is possible that will happen.

In other news, I finally heard back from my Vision Insurance Company. They sure did take their sweet time. They feel sorry that I had a bad experience and so they are permitting me to have another annual exam but I have to act within 60 days. I’ve already got the guy picked out that I want to see he and he’s an MD but has some OD’s working with him. I’m not terribly crazy about going to another doctor but I am interested in what someone else sees when they look into my eyes. If it’s just a desert waste land or if there is something actually there. Yup, that’s a bit of my humor. Seriously the whole mite’s thing and dry eye I’d like to know if that is accurate or if it was as, I thought a money-making diagnosis to help the old doctor pay for his brand-new building. I plan to go in fresh and not say much if anything about the prior exam so as to get a fresh opinion.

We are inching closer to the week end and that is a good thing. I am really looking forward to getting some sleep, that is if my little girl permits it. I also like the idea of being able to do what I want and not being a slave to work or a set routine. That in and of its self is liberating. Now if I could just run away, taking my little girl with me and not have to come back it would be totally awesome!

Tomorrow is the day I find out about my pay raise. My boss had a wide-open afternoon and could have communicated the information today but he said he would do it tomorrow. Whatever. I’m expecting some good news with a decent bump in pay and perhaps a bonus. I won’t hold my breath on the bonus part but it’s something that in years past has come with pay increases. The big buzz is the soft re-opening they are doing after the holiday. From what I saw in the latest news it sounds like pretty much things are going back to normal operation, if you feel comfortable go in and if not stay home. You can also go in, decide it’s not for you and return home. Hell, where was that option prior to COVID? One thing is for sure COVID changed business and the way it was done. This might just be the crisis that we need to help catapult many organizations into allowing remote work on a more regular basis. As for the place I work at there will be news about that coming in the fall. They may permit some folks to go hybrid where you work a day or two in the office and the rest of the week you are remote. We have all proved that the whole organization can run remote and we can still make money, so I wouldn’t see why they wouldn’t put more though into making some people full time remote. We actually had a couple people full time remote they lived in states where we had no office and worked from their homes. It was a thing for a few years but went by the wayside like three years ago. I am just excited to get my team back to full staff so that some of the work load that is on me can shift a bit and I can breathe a bit more freely.

I saw this incredible ad today for a famous pizza place in Chicago that everyone is raving about. I never heard of it but am thinking of ordering a couple pizzas to have them shipped to me. It is a bit on the expensive side but they claim to have a unique sausage blend and were talking deep dish pizza which is my favorite. I really miss the Uno’s chain they made the best pizza ever that I have had. I have had some others that come close but Uno’s by far was the best. Plus, you could order chili or a salad while you waited for your pizza. Deep Dish takes forever to cook but it is so worth the wait if it is done properly. There is a local place that does it but they use a sweet tomato sauce and the first piece is okay but after a while that sauce gets to me. It’s not supposed to be sweet in my opinion. Since were talking about food here I am so hungry for BBQ. I really love a BBQ Burger throw in some potato salad and I am happy. I could get really full from that. It’s funny how “they” tell us what food is bad for us. The silly thing is that it is as if you eat healthy you will live forever and that just simply isn’t true, we all have an expiration date. I don’t know about you but I want to eat the good stuff and die with a full belly.

No post is complete without talking about my furry friend. She kind of worried me this morning because the main litter box was empty. She eats really well and water is her best friend. She loves to lay in it and drink it. She tries to cover it up but that doesn’t work out so well. I was relieved a bit when I saw the backup litter box had at least a deposit. She does a great job sleeping during the day, I just wish that I could incorporate that into the evening and early morning hours. She had me up at 2 or 3 I don’t remember and then again at 5. It was tough to go back to sleep after the 5 wake up call but I managed. She has this routine where she eats, then cries back to the bedroom, then jumps in bed with me. Lays down to take in some petting and I guess to try to make me feel good, then she leaps up and heads back to the water bowl and starts howling. If she just came with a mute button that would be good enough for me. She knows where her bread is buttered and who does what. I know she loves me and appreciates what I do for her.

Well, it’s about time to go pop some dinner in the microwave and find something to watch on TV. Can’t believe tomorrow is already the 1^st of July. Just a few more months until Thanksgiving & Christmas! I hope you had an outstanding day and are staying cool in this hot weather.  Talk with you peeps again soon!

Robots & Raccoons

Technology is supposed to help and not harm, to automate but not to destroy. I’ve read a couple of stories where folks that work for Amazon as 3^rd Party Contractors (they are delivery drivers, using their own vehicles and I think they are in control of when they work) are being randomly fired by a robot. It’s an algorithm and when your number comes up, your done. While I can see this type of system being helpful to a company to report deficiencies, I think a human should make the ultimate final decision. Robots don’t know if maybe you had a heart attack while you were delivering a package and that is why the rest of the packages on the route didn’t get delivered. Perhaps you had a flat tire and that put you behind an hour. Life happens to all of us, like it or not and I just don’t think it’s fair or right to let a computer make the final call on telling someone your fired.

Being fired, laid off, downsized or whatever other creative euphemism you want to use, sucks and it can be humiliating not to mention it eats away at your self-confidence. This has happened to me multiple times throughout my career. In all of my cases a person made the final decision and not a computer. However, just my opinion but some of those people got it wrong. In other cases, it was the best thing to happen to me and I just didn’t see it at the time. Since we all tend to live in the present and not the future, but hindsight is always 20/20 as they say. The most difficult thing to do is move on, pick yourself up and go job hunting. Not to mention applying for unemployment. I think that you can take a day to mourn or wallow but after that you have to get moving. Time is ticking away and bills come due regardless if you have the money to pay them. When I was in these circumstances, I turned off every little service or feature that I didn’t need. It’s nice to have streaming music or movies but if it’s a choice between that and eating, I would much rather have food. This is also a time where it pays to have some money set aside because it takes unemployment a little bit to kick in. In some states you can get a decent amount that will permit you to exist but not live-in luxury and in other states you barley get enough to scrape by. I actually got denied for food stamps the only time that I needed them and applied because I made $9 too much in unemployment. You see all kinds of people when you go to seek out aid be it unemployment or food stamps. No matter how bad your situation is there is always someone that is worse off. In my case I didn’t have to worry about kids but I did still have to feed a bunch of cats. Thankfully no one went hungry but there were times when my belly wasn’t the fullest or there was no desert.

Okay so that is my rant for the day. Perhaps Amazon will sort this out and perhaps not. I know that delivery drivers in general are under a ton of pressure as well as rules & regulations they have to follow. Some get paid good money and others just get a work out and low wages. It’s got to be a little bit of fun to deliver things to people but it’s not a job that I would want.

Speaking of delivery drivers, the Amazon guy brought me my envelope with the cardboard that I had to open a special way to get to a plastic card and then scratch off some protective film to reveal my subscription code for the anti-virus software I bought. I really thought of this as a waste, they could have sent it by email and saved so much effort. Anyway, it’s all activated and working. I had a trial version and could have easily waited out the trial but I figured why not just jump in with both feet. They money is already spent.

On the work front this morning I got a nice note back from the guy that is leaving. I really obsessed over the wording that I used after I had sent it. I figured there is no way he is going to respond but I figured wrong. He did the let’s keep in touch thing but I know that rarely works out. He’s staying in the same job field but working in a different industry. As long as he’s happy at the end of the day, that is what matters. Well, that and getting paid a decent amount of money.

Speaking of money, I still have yet to hear about my pay raise. We had a call with the boss this morning and I got to peek at his calendar. It’s jammed fully like normal so I don’t see how he’s going to have time to talk with us but we shall see. He’s got until next Wednesday and after that he’s gone for 2 full weeks. I am so happy!

A vendor reached out yesterday and indirectly complimented me on how I was using a beta version of their product. They want to get together and talk to figure out what things appeal to us. I took the bull by the horns and got a call setup. It’s when the boss man is gone but he doesn’t need to be on the call and I figured he would appreciate me taking care of it. In this case I figured correctly because he remarked about it this morning.

Not a lot going on today. I do have something I could do but I am putting it off until tomorrow. Hopefully, I won’t be sorry about that. Things can shift in the blink of an eye and go from calm to crazy, all it takes is one person to click on the wrong thing and then calm is something you once again wish for. I think a lot of people are thinking of the weekend already as well as maybe taking this week and probably next week off. It’s smart to schedule vacation around a holiday so you get extra time without having to use your time.

I saw the Raccoons last night. Momma and what looks to be 4 kids. Two of them came out and on to the deck with her while the others sat cautiously in the shade. I wanted to put some food out for them but I know that is the wrong thing to do. We had a family of them when I was a kid and we would put the left overs out on top of the trash bin to keep them out of the trash. It worked unless they were super hungry. It was kind of funny, last night one of the kids took off in the wooded area and it took Momma a few minutes but she went after it. Seeing them reminds me of the ordeal we had 17 years ago when we had kittens roaming the basement. All was right with the world when they were born and I had this tremendous sense of peace & joy that I didn’t want to leave. I’d really like to experience those feelings again. Gator I think is aware the Raccoons are out there but it doesn’t appear to bother her. I could easily give them what she doesn’t eat and they would be quite happy. However, I don’t want them to be dependent on me as their source of food.

Time to stick a fork in this post and call it done. I’ve got a couple hours and then the evening is all mine. I was quite amazed last night that Gator permitted me to shower without protesting. She moved from the couch to my room when I started but went right to bed and was out cold when I was done. Wait for it, I got all comfy in my chair started watching something and presto she woke up and wanted food. I do think she planned that and quite well. Take care and we will talk again soon.

Peaches

I made an impulse purchase at the grocery store, a bag of peaches. Thus far I have had two of them and they are super. Ripe, juicy and delicious. My only complaint is that they are small. I just saw them and knew I wanted them. Once and a while I give in to items that I didn’t plan to buy. Last week I saw a large bucket of peanut butter pretzels and knew I wanted them but passed them up. I had planned to purchase them this week and totally forgot all about it until I was having my first peach last night.

I told you a couple days ago that one of the guys I like is leaving. I don’t often reach out to people that are leaving but those that I care either about or for I make sure they know it. I sent a nice note to the guy in question and thus far I haven’t heard anything back. That kind of stings a bit but there is still time for him to say something and even if he doesn’t at least he knows what I think of him. I honestly think we’re losing a fairly smart guy who if given the right chance could make a world of difference. However, I know that he’s going to walk out the door and no one will really see what I see. I am just a grunt like he is and there is no sense in kicking up a fuss. Something I have noticed over time is when something major happens in a person’s life such as buying a new car or house and/or they get married or have a baby that they tend to move on. The guy in question just had a kid last year. It’s no secret that if you’re looking for more money the best way to get a good jump is to change jobs. Pay raises usually aren’t that generous no matter where you work.

We had a really nice day from a weather standpoint and then about an hour ago it got dark like nighttime and just stormed. My poor gutters that I know are clean just couldn’t keep up with the water flow. If I reach a point in my life where I fix things up around here one thing that is for sure on the list will be new wider gutters that have leaf protection so the only thing that goes in is water and you don’t have to worry about cleaning the gutters. I doubt that day will come but hey anything is possible.

I really got some good sleep last night. I double dosed my sleeping pill and knew that I was in for a hell of a KO. It was tough to get up this morning at 5a when the Gator crowed for food but I managed. I had no trouble falling back to sleep. When I got up for good a couple hours later it was really tough to get going but I managed. I wish that I could sleep that sound more often than not. I worked on my back yesterday as well and it felt better. Now that I am stuck on the couch slumped over this laptop my back doesn’t feel so good. I just got in a nice stretch and heard a couple of pops. Still, I will be trying to get away from this thing unless I have actual work to do.

Before I call it quits for this post, I made a decision on my security provider and chose Bit Defender. I got one hell of a deal. 2 years for $23 for 5 devices. I purchased from Amazon and it was already at a decent price, then used a coupon that took $10 and finally applied some Amazon Reward Points and that got me the nice deal. The part that I am awe struck by is that they are delivering a card with the serial number on it. Normally that is sent on line to save time & money. No worries on my part as long as I get what I paid for. Vipre did a good job but Bit Defender has a little bit more bells and whistles that are appealing to me.

Time to feed the little woman and get in some more stretches. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods and that you are staying cool & dry. Take care and we will talk again soon.

Da Weekend

Saturday was a normal day for me in that I didn’t get out until the afternoon. I grabbed a bite to eat at a restaurant I haven’t been to in a long time. They have this Sliced Pepper Turkey with a homemade BBQ Sauce that is right on the money! I had some potato salad and green beans with that, it sure was good. My stomach has been acting up for almost a week now and after that meal my brain enjoyed it but my stomach was starting to do summersaults but thankfully calmed down after a few minutes. Perhaps it forgot what good food is. I should have stopped for cat food but opted instead to come home.

I sat with the Gator for the evening. Before we settled in, I opted to take a peek in the back yard and I saw a mother and two baby Raccoons, I think they evicted the ground hog and are living under the house. That might explain all of the strange smells. However, I have had families of raccoons living under the deck at different times and never had any odor issues. Perhaps they killed the groundhog instead of evicting him, I don’t know.

We (Gator and I) watched a movie called Spread with Ashton Kutcher. He was really going to pound town on some ladies in that movie. It was mildly interesting and did help to pass the time. I saw it on Amazon Prime for free. After that was over with, I put in my ear buds and started down music road in Spotify. I heard some good songs that I haven’t heard in a while. It was a little after mid-night when I pressed stop and put everything away. Then I laid in bed with Gator and watched a little TV and finally called it a night. She was a bit testy with me because I was up late.

Of course, the Gator’s stomach was hungry at 5a so I had to get up and feed her. Then I went back to bed but I didn’t get any restful sleep. My upper mid back has been bothering me for a couple days and from watching Chiropractic videos I think a nice pop would make all the pain go away. Problem is that requires an extra person and my back has never been one to pop. I tried as best as I could to sleep in and do some stretching. Gator was pretty upset with me and I wound up giving her a whack with a pillow. She didn’t quite know what to do with that but quickly left the bed and began screaming all over the house, as if there is some one to come to her aid besides me. Eventually she settled down and I got out of bed and gave her some more food to help calm her down. Then she went to the couch and I had breakfast. Afterwards the stomach summersault thing started so I wanted to leave but instead wound up going back to bed. I got in a few more winks but they were short.

When I woke up, I headed out to hit up the grocery store and cat food store. I was thinking of eating out tonight but I hear there is one hell of a hail storm going on right now so might rethink that. I do have actual food in the house to eat so it’s not like I will starve. I also need to do some cleaning around here but don’t really have the motivation. With pain from my back and pain from my stomach I am in a strange mood and kind of just want to be left alone.

Monday will be calling soon enough and it is the last week that I will be without my co-worker his leave ends next Tuesday and I am looking forward to that. The day after that the boss man leaves for vacation for two weeks and that will be something I look forward to as well. From peeking at my calendar, it’s not like there is a whole lot going on this weekend and by Thursday everyone will have Holiday Fever and things should really slow way down. Were off next Monday because the 4^th falls on Sunday, so that is something to look forward to as well. My friends are renovating their home and making some changes, construction is underway and not scheduled to be finished until the end of next month. I don’t think I will see the final product until Christmas unless something changes. They usually do something for Labor Day but it’s all outdoors and that is totally not my scene. As for the 4^th I think they are planning on something but I am not holding my breath.

Well, I suppose I should start moving around here and at least make the climb upstairs. I hope that you had a nice weekend and were able to stay warm & dry. I will talk with you peeps later. Take care.

Friday babbles

Well, we made it to Friday again. Hello old friend. Things on the work front were calm and went very well. I didn’t expect there would be any huge crisis but I was all alone and that’s tempting to Mr. Murphy who seems to rear his ugly head. I did get bad news in that a guy that I have a crush on is quitting. He’s straight, married and a million miles away from me. I know it sounds silly but I melt when I need to interact with him. He’s a nice guy and I suspect he is leaving for the reason most people leave and that is more money. I’ve seen a little bit of an up tick in people jumping ship. If you think about it we worked an entire year with no pay raise and were forced for a limited time to take a pay cut. That rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. While I wasn’t thrilled about it, I was happy to have a job. I was even happier when they paid back what they held for months. Oddly enough pay raise information is being communicated out now and I should hear about my raise next week or so I was told.

It was a stormy day here and also trash day. Wouldn’t you know it that the trash man left all of the trash barrels out with their lids open so they collected water. Thankfully there was a break in the rain and I was able to get out and empty the water out before hauling the barrel back to my garage where it will eventually dry out.

Had a car pull up outside of my home and 5 people got out of this compact thing. They started pointing and then everyone spread out. A lady was headed for my door. Now there is a sticker on the door that says if you ring the bell expect to pay $50 a second. Most people see that and that keeps them moving. This bitch didn’t bother to read just knocked and rang the bell. I didn’t answer because I didn’t want the confrontation, she left a flyer. Turns out it was a local politician who I despise spreading the word about a blood drive. I feel like sending her a bill but am just letting it go because I realize I would get nowhere.

I’ve been bored for a good portion of the day and managed to sleep a little bit and watch some TV. The little boss lady doesn’t like it when I am away from her. She starts making noise the second I get comfortable on the couch, then stares at me with this look that is supposed to make me feel guilty, I just think it’s cute but after a few minutes she gets under my skin. I am being held hostage in my own home by a cat. I have to plan my moves around her and if I do something she doesn’t like I hear about it for a long time. Last night it was the fact that I took a shower. She is still waking me up multiple times a night. I am ready to get a sleeping pill for her but am reluctant to actually reach out to the vet. She has never been on medicine and I really don’t want to start now. Sure, I am losing my sanity but she knows I will literally do anything for her, I may not like it but if I can figure out what she wants I give in. Most people would just drug her and certainly not cater to her needs/desires like I do. I look at it like this, she watched her whole family pass away before her eyes. She is old and could easily go at any time, might as well make her comfortable as long as I have the means to.

An idea came to mind, why not look at your blog and see what your first post was. That was a trip back down memory lane. I was unemployed at the time and for the longest time. I landed a job and worked for a while, got married and then shortly afterwards lost my spouse. I saw a lot of the same issues that I am still struggling with today. Namely depression and the fact that I still have a lot of stuff to either sell or trash. I can’t help but think about where I was and where I made it to. I survived some pretty dark stuff and there is no question the cats helped me along the way. It’s nothing short of a miracle that I was able to keep a roof over my head and food on the table for me and them, as well as cover their medical expenses. Being isolated in working from home for the past year and a half hasn’t helped the depression, if anything it’s made it worse. However, I still am able to provide for myself and the one cat that I have. That too is quite an accomplishment. While it will be like ripping off a band-aid I am kind of ready to jump back in to a regular routine. Mentally I know it will be good for me and I will get to interact with others. Physically it will benefit me because there is more walking involved. Financially it will do harm in that I will be putting wear & tear on my vehicle as well as consuming way more gasoline. I just think it’s time to go back but only if it’s safe. I hear horror stories about this Delta variant of COVID-19 and how people that have been vaccinated are getting it. A part of me wonders if we will ever truly get back to “normal” – I think we will just have a new normal and adjust like we have done for the past year and a half. Things will normalize, places that are closed will open and life will continue on, eventually this will be a time period we reflect on. I know for a fact that I need the social interaction that will do wonders for my depression. Getting back to playing The Dating Game may also help. I’m a little nervous about that but I think most people who start dating are nervous for a while. Once you meet someone all of your fears/nerves seem to fade into the background, especially when you find the things you have in common and begin engaging in conversation. It just feels so odd to be as old as I am and dating, something that I have never done. It’s like I am learning to ride a bike or swim. I suppose you continue learning things until the day you die so perhaps in retrospect this too is a good thing. I just hope beyond hope that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and that life smiles on me by giving me a decent boyfriend. We don’t have to be rich, as long as were comfortable and can provide for ourselves that is all I need. I have periods of time where I picture it and other periods of time where I think it will never happen. Truth be told I have no idea what is in store for me, I could step out of the house and break my neck or I could find the winning lottery ticket. We all take chances in life as it truly is a gamble every second of every day, it’s just that we don’t focus on that.

On a different note, I saw today that owners of Western Digital My Book NAS (Network Attached Storage) devices woke in horror to find that their hard drives were wiped. While I haven’t read anything official yet, sure sounds like a malicious actor got into the cloud environment and exploited a vulnerability that caused all of this. A single drive could fail or reset but multiple drives not a chance in the world. The cloud doesn’t live in the sky, it’s just a hard drive/computer in a remote location, referred to as “The Cloud” because you can see it but you can’t touch it. As such you have to protect any cloud environment with a strong password and at a minimum 2 factor authentication. Like a mobster told me when I was young “locks are for honest people”. If someone truly wants in, they are going to get in. Your job is to make it as difficult as possible. Also, it’s important to have anything of importance backed up especially today. Ransomware and malicious actors are on the rise and it isn’t something that is going to stop overnight, if anything it’s only going to get worse. Technology can be helpful but in the wrong hands like anything else it can be destructive. The other thing I have learned is that most people that backup their data are people that have lost data. It’s a shame that some people make it easy for the bad guys by using poor password hygiene. I get that it’s a pain to have more than one password and not to reuse passwords but that is why there are password vaults. They will store the passwords for you and even help you generate secure passwords that are unique. All you have to remember then is one password and that is to the vault its self. Sort of like back in the day when you had to remember multiple phone numbers, then speed calling came out and you forgot phone numbers. Now phone numbers live in your contacts and most people would be lost if their phone crashed or they somehow lost their contacts. That’s true of me as well. However, the important people I need to call I have those numbers still committed to memory.

I am going to call Friday done and move to bed and of course watching more TV. I have no real plans for Saturday other than the usual relaxation and errand running. I’d like to make it to the new breakfast place but considering that I napped during the day and I probably won’t get to bed at a decent hour I really don’t think I will be up for getting up early on my day off. I know that I will get there eventually. The weather is rain for days here according to the forecast, that of course is subject to change. I hope that I am able to have some fun and enjoyment of what little time away I have from work. I hope that you have a nice weekend as well. Cheers!

Movie–Tickled

 

This was another Amazon Prime Video movie I stumbled across and watched yesterday afternoon.  It’s a documentary.  I learned there is something called Competitive Tickling.  It’s a fetish much like Feet, Armpits, BDSM, etc.  This is something a vast majority of people don’t know exist.  This documentary I thought was going down a sexual type rabbit hole it scratched the surface but mostly talked about how some people got their lives ruined because they wanted out.  It was filmed a while back, I saw things like AOL and Netscape Navigator as well as some very old computers. 

If you like documentary films then I would recommend this.  There was no nudity, outside of some shirtless scenes.  Language was all over the place.  Just thinking about being tied down and tickled well past the point of pleasure, you start saying some words. 

Prior to this I knew about being tickled I’ve seen it in some porn but didn’t know that there were competitions.  It’s fun for like a moment just to see someone laugh and then it looses its luster for me, totally not a turn on. 

There was big money in this for those that elected to participate and if you decide to watch you will get an idea of just how big that money was.  Shockingly large and more money than I will probably ever see in my lifetime.  The photo above is one of the first scenes of the movie and I got it from a Google Search.

Never thought I would stumble across something like this but then again I am seemingly finding lots of things to watch on Amazon Prime Video.  I am super bored and if I find something even remotely interesting I give it a chance.  I was taught that lesson pertaining to music as a child and you just never know what is going to appeal to you.

Well the cat is calling so I guess I should answer that call.  She kept me awake a good portion of the morning and I am not terribly pleased with that, there isn’t anything she can do to make me stop loving her.  Funny what we will tolerate in the name of love. 

Hope you have a good day.  Hang in there, only 1 more day after today and we will be at another weekend.  Cheers!

Movie–Silk Road

I rented and watched this movie yesterday afternoon on Amazon.  It was totally worth the $5.99 I spent and kept me entertained for over an hour.  Two reasons why I rented this was first, I love technology and second, I wanted to see Nick Robinson.  I was vaguely familiar with a website called Silk Road and knew that it got into trouble a while back but had no recollection as to why.  Drugs is why.  This was a great concept for an idea by Ross Ulbrecht (who was the real person that was Nick Robinson’s character).  The problem is that drugs of course are illegal and the government isn’t going to allow you thumb your nose at them and sell something illegal in plain sight, regardless of what alleged anonymity you claim will be afforded to your customers.  There was the thrill of the hunt in this movie and how I watched Robinson’s character constantly looking over his shoulder.  If you have to constantly look over your shoulder then your either up to no good or you have some issues and need help.

Nick Robinson is probably familiar if you watched Love Simon, he played Simon.  He’s a cute young man who is a great actor.  I don’t have any feelings for him but do enjoy watching his work. 

If your looking for some entertainment and have Amazon Prime Video then I highly recommend this movie.  It was the first movie that I can recall seeing where there wasn’t any sex scene, it was all drama and adrenaline.  Sometimes I can pick a good movie and this was one of those times where I was spot on.  There are plot twists and turns that keep it interesting.  Don’t watch this movie with little kids because of the violence and language. 

Police Pursuit

Good Morning!

We celebrated Gator’s 17th Birthday yesterday.  She got some Salmon for breakfast and that help put her in a great mood, even if it was short lived.  She had a most usual day with sleeping and aggravating me as well as sticking by my side and vying for affection/attention. 

I watched like 3 or 4 movies yesterday, started in the early afternoon and finished up just before it was time to call it a day. 

When I finally made it to my room after a shower/shave I turned on YouTube and started scrolling.  I was amazed to find a police pursuit live on KTLA that had been going on for an hour.  It was a stolen Audi which they hit with spike strips multiple times.  The tires must have been run flats because it took a long time for the tires to finally give way.  I watched for about an hour and a half which was interesting.  I got to see parts of LA from the sky.  The driver just tooled around the city driving from mild to wild.  There were a couple of times once the tires gave way that I thought for sure he was going to loose it but it didn’t happen.  The crazy thing was this was the first pursuit I saw where the person obeyed most (but not all) traffic laws, stopping at lights and stop signs.  The way this ended was uncanny, he just stopped at a stop light and when the light turned green everyone went but him.  That’s when the police moved up and the standoff began.  I sat memorized how quickly the time passed and the fact that I was so relaxed.  I started dozing off watching the screen.  Not knowing how long the stand off was going to last, KTLA stopped their live feed and that is when I turned off the TV and climbed into bed.  It wasn’t long before I was out like a light. 

Gator woke me up around 5a for some early breakfast which I didn’t want to but did provide.  Then she climbed back into bed with me and wouldn’t leave my side.  She is starting to get a little extra clingy and that is of concern.  I don’t think she is ready to check out yet but I do think she is making plans albeit slowly.  I trying to savor every moment (good and bad) with her.  Last week we went fishing.  I have a plastic toy ball with a bell in it tied on to the end of a fishing pole and she loves to chase and bat at it.  She tries to chomp down on it but thus far hasn’t broken this one, she has broken others in the past.  Jaws are powerful things, just like claws. 

Off to resume my Tuesday working from home.  I don’t have too bad of a day but there are several meetings and conference calls, of which I loathe.  However, this too shall pass.  Hope you have a great day!  Take care, stay warm and well.  Talk with you all again soon.

Father’s Day & The 1st Official Day of Summer

Happy Father’s Day and welcome to summer! Just another day for me. I didn’t make it to the new place for breakfast like I wanted. I got woke up by Ms. Lungs at 4a and considering that I was up for an hour because I couldn’t go back to sleep, I knew full well that I wouldn’t be in good shape come 7a. I did enjoy 4 Blueberry Frozen Waffles with Blueberry Syrup that I ate like Tacos so I didn’t need to use a fork. Washed that all down with a large glass of milk. That was after I did my work testing. I of course had problems because I hadn’t done the checks in a while and there was one major system that threw me for a loop. Then I sat in front of the TV for about an hour and then went back to bed, that was from the sugar high wearing off, mixed with a little bit of boredom.

I finally got going around 1p and hit up the grocery store. I really wasn’t in a mood to shop but knew that the task had to be done if I wanted to be able to eat during the week. Once I got back home and put things away, I sat down next to the cat on the couch and played on my phone and watched some more TV.

I have low energy and ability to want to actually do anything today. I am bored but I will get through it. I did venture back out around 3:30p for supper at Cracker Barrel. I wanted to go some place else but really wanted to stick close to home just in case something went wrong at work. I was in and out in a flash and enjoyed a good meal. Now I am home for the week unless there is another reason to leave.

I will try to hit up the new breakfast place next weekend if I can manage to get up early.

Last night I was on social media and decided to go down a rabbit hole to try to find the first guy I slept with. We were both kids and needless to say we haven’t kept in touch. He’s got a common last name and that makes him difficult to find. I have spent years off and on trying to locate him. Last night I hit pay dirt and wow I was really surprised. He identifies as straight and is single. He told me back in the day that what we were doing wasn’t gay sex, but I knew differently. The whole idea of having sex was his idea and once we both found out how good it felt, neither one of us wanted to stop. Ah to be young again! Time hasn’t been his friend and he looks very old. We are nowhere geographically close to each other. I didn’t try to make contact with him, I don’t think anything bad would come from saying hello but I think if I told him that I was gay that might turn things sour, maybe not but I figure why chance it. It was interesting to find him. We did have a lot of fun together and those are times that I won’t forget, until Alzheimer’s or Dementia take over then who knows what I will remember.

It’s another nice summer day here, sunny & hot. Need to shave and get a shower. That of course won’t set well with the cat but right now she is passed out and snoring to beat the band. I really wish she would sleep more at night than during the day. Tomorrow is her big day, 17 years old.

Hopefully, you had a good day – some good food and enjoyed the weekend. Air Conditioning feels so good on a hot day I could sit in it all day long. Kind of wish I had a swimming pool to jump in, haven’t been swimming in years. On to enjoy being lazy this evening because tomorrow I won’t have that luxury. Looking very forward to the next major US Holiday. Take care and I will talk with you all again soon.

Friday & Saturday

Last year on Juneteenth we closed early, mostly because of the fear of protests even though most of us were locked away in our homes. This year we also closed even earlier and I had a ½ day of work. That was a really nice way to start the weekend. It kind of feels like a 3-day weekend even though it’s not it’s a 2 ½ day weekend. It will be interesting to see if we acknowledge the new federal holiday and perhaps close next year.

Since I had extra time on my hands, I had browsed YouTube for how to clean your A coil on your HVAC unit. Like most every other type of repair or improvement it seemed so simple in the video. I didn’t purchase any cleaner, which you can get at a home improvement store. I did take things apart inside and had the whole HVAC system shutdown for around an hour. I got to peek inside and what I was looking for was evidence of mold or a good coating of cat fur. I didn’t find either and from what little bit I saw things looked pretty good, but then again, I am not a professional. I did see rust but that is to be expected. In the process of taking things apart I had to disconnect the duct work to the flue. That was moderately difficult but a little more complex when it came time to put things back in place. I did manage to clean out a bunch of debris that had accumulated over the years. Perhaps that will mean a little better heating performance when we get to that time of year. I was proud of myself for the progress that I made. I didn’t break anything that I know of and I also didn’t have any left-over parts which is usually the case when I take something apart that I am unfamiliar with. It worked out that way for me when I was a kid as well.

Trying to chase down and eliminate this “unknown” odor has just about gotten the best of me. I think that this could be from a lack of fresh air entering the house and also the fact that I am here pretty much 24/7 so I tend to notice little things that I hadn’t before. Maybe someday when I just use this place as shelter to catch some sleep and resume commuting to the office this odor won’t be so noticeable. However, at a minimum I am stuck here until September. I have to see what my doc says but I have plans to be here through the winter and go back sometime next year, just have to see how it shakes out.

After the little adventure with the HVAC system, I was full of dust and it was time for a shower. I also needed a haircut so I broke out the clippers and went to work. I trimmed a little high around one ear and the back of course is no where near perfect but for a buzz cut, I think I did an okay job.

I did try to work in a nap because I got woke up by Ms. Lungs last night. I had problems going back to sleep and stayed up for a while. Wouldn’t you know it that she protested my trying to take a nap. I even shut her out of the bedroom and that is when she poured on the power and those lungs started working again. She was really upset and I just gave up and as soon as I was by her side she was fine. She wasn’t terribly pleased with my taking a shower as well. If it was up to her I would just be by her side 24/7 and everything would be fine for her. We have spent some time away from each other but now that it’s evening time we are back together.

My neck/shoulder is worse today and I have a knot in my scapula on the same shoulder. Every now and then I turn my head and it hurts, something pops and then it feels better for a second but the pain comes back. Hopefully, tomorrow things will be better.

It’s about time for my anti-virus subscription to renew. I would try something new. I heard great things about Bit Defender but then I heard of something even better called Vipre. They have been in the game for a while even though I never heard of them before and from the looks of things they appear to have a super solid product. I have a 30-day trial of both products. Bit Defender has a neat feature that looks for vulnerabilities in your system. On the laptop I am running this on there were a couple of Windows patches that it noticed were not installed and it took care of them. Vipre is running on my desktop, which is my newest machine and damn is all I can say. Norton sure was resource intensive, I knew that already but with many people complaining over the years they claimed to have improved. Based on what I am seeing on my machine now that Norton is gone it’s flying just like it was fresh out of the box. Vipre has the strongest reputation in the industry and they command a hell of a price for their product.

I’ve been a huge Norton/Symantec fan for years but I do see that other players in the game have different advantages and styles. Not sure who I will wind up going with but I do know that if you look around you can find deals on antivirus software pretty much year-round. Amazon is a good place to look. A lot of them will give you an introductory price but make it contingent on auto renewal. I install the product and then promptly turn auto renewal off. Rinse & Repeat for the following year. If you stick with the same product usually all you have to do is update the license/product key and you’re in business.

It’s bed time so I am going to save this and go try to get some sleep if the silly little cat will permit that. I have no idea what I want to do tomorrow outside of the usual Saturday running and getting something to eat. I am thinking of pizza but hey my taste buds could change. Speaking of which I am thinking of trying a subscription to Freshly. It’s a meal service, where you pick what you want, they ship the meals to you and you just heat them up in the microwave. It’s perfect for the single person or if you’re on the go. Plus, it’s all fresh and not frozen, cost is a little high but it would be a nice change from frozen tv dinners.

SATURDAY

I was able to relax a little bit and get some sleep but as per usual Lungs (my new nickname for Gator) had me up to feed her in the middle of the night. She permitted me to nap a little bit after I was up for the day and she stayed on the couch while I was in my bed. I think she gets just as tired of me as I do of her at times, but at the end of the day we love each other.

The paper published a story about a new place in town that does breakfast. If I can manage to pry myself out of bed at 7a I will be on the doorstep there. I’ve looked over the menu and damn they have plenty of good stuff to choose from. They do brunch as well and close at 2p each day. I checked this morning around 10a and the wait time was 2 hours. Now you see why I want to be there when they open. They are clearly in demand and with tomorrow being Father’s Day I am sure that everyone will want to take their dad out for breakfast.

I have another issue and reason for getting up early tomorrow and that’s work. We are doing monthly Microsoft server patching and I will need to login to do some tests to make sure things are working like they should be. This task doesn’t fall on weeks I am on-call often; you’d think that I set it up that way but not really. Used to be when I first started that I had this little task damn near every month and I hated it, because who wants to really get up early on the weekend? Not me.

I got out of bed at 1p and got dressed and left to grab the mail and then headed out for pizza. Nice little drive and some sunshine on the way up. Storms were moving into the area and I managed to get home before the rain started. I also had to stop for cat food and believe it or not the home improvement store. I got curious this morning and typed in HVAC Odor into their website, there is a new product out by 3M and it’s designed to attach on to your air filter and will cover your home in scent. There are a few different scents, I wanted Cinnamon but of course they didn’t have that. I wound up with Seaside Mist. It’s $4 a package, you can customize how much of the fragrance is released. Kind of neat and great timing. I am at the point with this damn odor that I will try most anything so long as it isn’t terribly expensive.

Saw a great movie and got a nice deal on the rental fee, Amazon had it on sale for Prime Members. I suppose it’s part of the lead up to the big Prime Day. Anyway, it was called Boy Erased. It’s about a kid who is a minister’s son and is gay. His dad sends him to conversion therapy to try to pray the gay away, which of course doesn’t work. The poor kid was also raped in college and that was a violent scene in the movie that I wasn’t expecting. It was a decent movie and I didn’t get terribly upset. Conversion Therapy can be pretty intense from what I have seen in several movies and read on-line. It should be illegal because all it does is torture the person going through it. I love a good movie with a decent plot and if it happens to be a gay movie even better.

17 years ago today, I took my Momma (cat) in from the sweltering heat. Poor thing was miserably pregnant and being out in the elements wasn’t the best for her. She was comfortable for two days and then she had the kids and was exhausted. Her labor was difficult and lengthy but everyone made it out alive. I had no idea what was in store for me when I took her in. I frankly didn’t think my spouse would let me keep her. Then I came home a couple days later and he named all of the kids. The rest as they say is history. What a ride it was. It’s hard to fathom that I am down to the last cat from having so many but time truly isn’t on your side when you think about it as it applies to life, each day is a day closer to the end. This is Momma’s second birthday since she passed and it’s a bitter-sweet day for me. I will feel much the same way come Monday when Gator turns 17.

Speaking of cats, time to go see what she is up to and if I can manage to find something worth my time on TV or a streaming service. I have pretty well exhausted most content that appeals to me, which is what you’d expect for someone that is home bound most days. I hope your weekend is going well and that you’re staying cool in this hot weather.

Talk with you all again soon, be well!

Hump Day

Is this the day of the week people are supposed to have sex? Hump Day, get it. I know it was bad but it’s what came to mind when I first heard the phrase Hump Day.

I hope that you have enjoyed the links I posted to some music videos. The first one is a catchy tune from the US version of Queer As Folk and has the actors from the series in the video. The second one was a Peter, Paul & Mary tune about life, marriage and technology. I was looking for something fun and I knew what I wanted to post but couldn’t think of the name of the song. I really had to dig around to find it. I’ve actually got the album (CD) that it was published on. The story behind the song is that the first time I heard it was live in concert. I was lucky enough to be able to purchase front row tickets to a PPM concert many years ago. My late husband loved them and this was a huge treat for him. We were close enough to the stage to be able to touch PPM but of course we didn’t. I got called out for not singing along on one of the songs. That was a great night amongst many we had!

You know that my little girl (cat) is old and we are really close to her birthday. She will be 17 soon and that is really old for a cat, although they can live to be 20. I can tell that she really is slowing down but she hasn’t quite given up on using those lungs. She loves to yowl and meow and does it all the time. It’s the worst when I am either on the phone or in the middle of the night. Just like all of her departed family I worry about her and of course am thinking often of the day that we part ways. It’s a day that I don’t want to come for many reasons. The first of which is she is the last living link to the life I used to enjoy with her family and my late husband. The second of which I have stated many times I am living for my cats and I honestly don’t know what will happen if she goes and there isn’t another purpose for living in my life. I mention all of this because I had a horrific nightmare last night about a stray that we took in that wound up passing in the middle of the night. It’s stuck with me throughout the day and I’ve got a large photo of him by my desk in the basement. Hindsight leaves me with a lot of guilt, he was really sick and the vet told me to let him go but I was in denial and took him home. He passed away that night while I was sleeping. Just knowing about death is bad enough but cats typically linger and suffer for hours before they die, knowing that makes it worse. Guilt what a horrible thing it is.

I tackled a pretty huge problem today at work, I took my time and thought about it. I tried a couple things but I knew that time was the one thing that would fix the issue. I was right and once I got everyone on board with that, things came together a bit quicker than I expected. I was able to share the adventure (such that it was) with my colleagues and I got a lot of pats on the back. It was a unique situation that probably won’t ever happen again but if it does, we all know how to fix it. That helped me realize that I probably am in the right place and am a little more than burnt out, more like fried to a crisp with working and for sure with my boss. He has turned into a bit of a micromanager and it rubs me the wrong way. Plus, he has way more vacation time than any of us and he loves to rub that in our faces with the lavish trips and adventures he and his family go on. Perhaps there is a bit of jealously mixed in there as well but I think that once he actually goes on his 2-week vacation that life will calm down a bit for me. I will also need to get in my time away and by away, I mean exactly that no checking on things or keeping in touch, just take the entire week off. Trying not to think of work and for sure not working on work. The thought of switching jobs is still a bit appealing but I do think I will most likely stay put unless I shoot of my mouth, which know one knows that I am known to do once I get really upset.

On a different note, today was Amazon delivery day. The new floor registers are plastic compared to the metal ones I had. They look amazing! I thought that could be a culprit for the odor but thus far nope. The new furnace filters arrived and I am not impressed thus far. It does smell maybe a little bit better in here but overall, this unknown odor is still lingering. I keep on telling Gator that I don’t know what else there is to do because I am out of ideas. Then magically something pops in my head. I know that slowly I will be exhausting all possibilities, short of throwing out furniture, ripping into a wall or moving. It is frustrating because for around two weeks the odor was totally gone. I’ve done nothing new or outlandish and now it’s back a little milder but nevertheless back. I am learning to live with it but I really want to get rid of it and keep it gone. This is affecting what little sanity I have left.

Thinking about the weekend I do believe pizza is in my future. I will probably travel to get it but am thinking about local places as well. It’s nice to get away but I do worry about my little girl. I kind of wish I could take her with me but I would have to order ahead and eat in the car so she didn’t roast. Speaking of which we have some uncommonly hot weather headed our way in a couple days. No doubt the power companies will love that as will the AC Repair people. The guy that cuts my grass told me at the start of the year when I hired him that my grass wouldn’t burn out if he cut it. Well, it’s already started to die in a couple places. I am not a lawn freak, meaning I don’t water the grass, plant grass or have chemicals put on it. Someone put it there, it grows each and every year. It dies, can come back to life and for sure returns each and every spring. If I had my way I would just as soon have concrete painted green or Astro turf. I hate cutting grass and the fact that I have to pay someone to cut it because I can no longer do the work myself due to allergies and I also don’t own a working mower. Lots of my neighbors have chemicals put on their lawn, most no one waters their lawn until it gets super-hot out and that is usually the time, we are asked to conserve water.

Another day has turned to night. Time to close your eyes and say goodnight. I need to put away my laundry and prep for bed which means that my little girl will be waking up and yelling about having to move. She could stay put but for some reason loves to be near me. I think it’s old age and she has a little bit of fear of being alone. Hell, I am alone and I don’t enjoy it all the time but at least I have entertainment and if push comes to shove, I can get in a car and travel. I just hope that she lets me sleep all night, we have been getting up at 3a to get her a snack. Then she tries the same thing at 4a or 5a and that is when I remove her from the bedroom and go back to sleep. She is waiting just outside the door and springs to life as soon as she hears me get out of bed. For an old lady that hearing works pretty good when she wants it to. We have such routines and get along pretty good.

Hope your staying cool and having a good week. I just felt like babbling tonight so if you actually read all of this then you came along for the ride. Thanks for stopping by. I will talk with you all again soon. Be well.

Virtual Party - Peter, Paul & Mary

Funny song about technology. 

Music

Monday

Had an enjoyable Sunday evening and wish that I would have given in to a food craving for pizza. Instead, I had a piece of Chocolate Cake and a Chocolate Donut for supper. Not healthy but it worked. The whole time I kept thinking about the taste of a nice warm pizza. It was early enough I could have gone out to a local place or even popped in a Tombstone but nope I deprived myself. Why? I have no earthly idea.

Got in some good Gator time, she has this new horrible habit where she stands at the bottom of my recliner and meows until I picker up. Never mind that if she wants to get into bed with me, she has to jump on the recliner in order to jump into bed. We both know she could easily jump into the recliner and she has before but lately she is starting to behave much more like her siblings used to. She knows I will do most anything for her and she is taking full advantage of it.

The morning was pretty uneventful that is until I decided I wanted to lay down for a quick nap. Then all of the emails start pouring in and I get so busy I forgot all about trying to take a nap. Meanwhile, Gator is passed out cold on the couch.

By mid afternoon my boss had to ruin the day by calling a meeting with everyone. It’s just to rehash stuff we already were aware of that happened over the weekend. He’s never prepared for the meetings we go into; we always have to listen to him compose an email to someone. He talks as he types and I really want to say, could you type on your time like the rest of us. I haven’t yet but were getting close to me loosing my shit. He is taking even more time off and it’s like he is rubbing it in my face. I can’t take time off because were short on staff and it’s not an emergency but since he has been there since before time began, he can take off whenever he wants. Just fucking go on vacation already so I don’t have to listen or hear from you and I will be much happier. I do feel like I am getting the short and rough end of the stick. However, my time is waiting for me and I will be taking it eventually.

I am mostly myself around the boss but there are subtle clues that I give off that I am pissed off. I don’t want to get into it but some day if the pressure keeps up the flood gate that is holding back my rage and anger will burst and that will be a scary day for me. I’ve learned with some time to control my mouth but if you push me and push me eventually anything can come out, despite my not wanting it to.

For all intents and purposes, I have a decent job and just need a nice break. The politics and all of the needless meetings and tasks that I am asked to preform are starting to wear on me. The pressure is a bit extra now because were down 1 person. I am just burnt out and a recharge might not be a cure all but it would be a step in the right direction.

I saw something interesting show up in my email from the post office that contained images of what was arriving in the mail today. I had to go get it to appease my curiosity and it turned out to be nothing. I couldn’t help but think while I was out, that it sure would be nice to run away. The world truly is back to normal around here. Restaurants are packed, traffic is back to being as thick as BBQ Sauce and no matter where you go there is people and chances are pretty good there will be a waiting line. The thought of driving back to the office every day isn’t something that I really want. However, being around people and getting out I think is healthy so long as they have been vaccinated. Perhaps part of my negative attitude stems from being couped up. Although, I’ve had times in the past where work was just too close for my comfort and I was burnt to a crisp.

I suppose this will either sort it’s self out and I will contain my emotions OR I will need to find a new job. It’s a few more weeks before were back to normal staffing and that of course is when the boss will be gone for 2 full weeks. I can’t wait for that, less meetings and more naps. Once he returns will be about the time I request a full week off, that is if I still feel like I am today.

In other news, I got into it with my PC yesterday afternoon. My iCloud add in for Windows wasn’t playing well with Outlook. One thing led to another and I wound up wiping out my Outlook. I had to start over but I didn’t lose anything because it’s all in the cloud. It was just frustrating to fight to get things back to normal. It’s all working fine now and my calendar is back in sync with my phone.

Tonight, I plan to eat the store-bought lasagna that is heat n eat. It’s pretty good. I will of course have more chocolate cake and that should tide me for the evening. I will scrounge for something to watch on TV, a streaming service or just a YouTube videos. I kind of wish I was close to one or two of the chiropractors that publish videos from FL. They both incorporate massage as well as scraping into their adjustments and I think some of that would be good for my back. I do miss my massages but I don’t get nearly as many large knots since I have been home. I do have some from time to time but they just don’t flare up like they used to when I was hunched over a desk for 8 hours a day. Kicking back and napping or doing other things while keeping a watchful eye on my inbox during the day seems to have helped a lot. Just wait though my day to return to the massage table and the massage therapist will find plenty of knots, those that I know of and those that I don’t. Some of the work those people (chiropractors and massage therapists) do looks to be a full-time job just getting knots out of people and they get a hell of a good work out in the process. Lactic Acid is what builds up and causes a good portion of my issues, from what I have seen that is true for a lot of people.

Well, I suppose I should get back to what fun is left in the day, just a little longer and then hopefully it will be time to switch gears into relaxing mode. I am on-call this week so I have to be up for anything but I hope that it’s a super chill week. I need a break! Hope that your Monday is going or went well. Talk with you all again soon.

Travel, Food and Chores

Saturday I was able to sleep in and of course did a little too much of that because I had problems when it was time for bed. I got a shower and made the long trip to the buffet. There was a nagging feeling that I had that was trying to talk me out of going. I should have listened to it. I was truly disappointed in the quality of my meal. They had the food items that I had expected and the first few bites were really good. I love their mashed potatoes. The catfish I had was cold and salty, the piece of BBQ Pork I grabbed was full of fat and didn’t taste the greatest. The stuff that I love and main reason for making the trip is their Bread Pudding. When I looked at it, I knew it probably wasn’t going to be the greatest. It had been sitting for a while and was a little dried out. The soda I had didn’t have enough carbonation. I wouldn’t call it flat but it was on its way there. While I did enjoy the travel and being able to get away, not to mention being able to give my vehicle a bit of a workout. It’s been about 2 years since I was there last. It has the same owners but the staff changes and I don’t know if it was the pandemic or if the staff just didn’t put in enough TLC. I have no plans to return anytime soon. I got 30mpg though and that was from a combination of using cruise control and manually driving. I filled the tank full before the trip and it’s at ½ way which is where I was before I started on the trip.

As I was sitting in the unknown odor last night it hit me, lots of articles I had came across when researching ‘unknown odor elimination’ talked about charcoal. It will absorb odors and doesn’t leave behind a smell. Since I think the odor is in the HVAC system why not switch out to a charcoal air filter. I did some research and they aren’t available at any big box store in my area but Amazon carries them. They are not cheap by any means. I’m getting 2 for around $30. While I was at it, I bought 5 new floor registers. That will cover the main living area but not the entire house. The ones I have are rusty from cleaning the cat pee off of them and while I don’t think they are the odor source it certainly can’t hurt to change them. You’d think they would be super expensive but I don’t have anything fancy, it’s basic plain so they are $4 each. That is cheaper than I can get them at the local home improvement store. Everything will be here by the middle of the week and I am eager to get the new filter installed. I would like to find and fix the source of the odor but that appears to be impossible.

Watched a couple of movies last night, nothing special to write about. Friday, I streamed and binge watched the entire 2^nd season of Love Victor on Hulu. It was pretty good. Not sure if there will be a season 3 but I honestly don’t see why there wouldn’t be, it seems to have gone over really well with people in general, all though I think LGBT people are the ones who make up the large portion of the viewers.

The mail brough my property tax bill. It went up but only by $50 but I am already paying several thousands of dollars. Thinking about that, the odor and the general up keep of this place as well as seeing lots of new construction and being bombarded with ads for lofts and apartments on social media does have me thinking about moving. My thanksgiving friend told me that since I have mold, I will never be able to sell this place. I got to thinking about it and decided to give it a google. What I found is that you can in fact sell as long as you disclose however you will take a loss and most financial institutions will not finance a home loan where the property has mold. The best option is to remediate with a commercial company, then disclose and provide proof at the time of the sale. That will help retain value and most people will have a comfort feeling once you show them proof. That said I honestly think that I could sell this place for what I owe on the mortgage which would be taking a major loss but I’d be able to walk away free & clear. The buyer would certainly flip this place – remediate the mold, replace the carpet, probably slap on a fresh coat of paint, trim or rip out the bushes/shrubbery that makes this place look like a forest and be able to make all their money back and then some.

The question I have to answer is do I really want to travel down this road. Even with not fixing things and just packing up and moving, it still would require spending money not to mention finding a new place to call home. I am on the fence and have been for quite some time. I think about the memories that were made here both good and bad and how I would be walking away from them. I also think that I deserve a fresh start and I really do want to walk away. It would be easier to make this decision if I knew that I had help when it came to moving and unless I hire someone, I have no one to help. While I have watched my family perish before my eyes regardless of what I do it won’t bring anyone back to life and I certainly won’t be abandoning anyone, just memories. However, with a new place I could make new memories or at the very least not have the concern with all of the things wrong or that I dislike about my current home.

It’s good to dream and think about possibilities but you have to stay grounded in reality. At the end of the day, I am better off just staying put for now. Truth be told the longer I put this off the more likely I am to stay complacent. I do think that eventually I will reach my breaking point and that will cause my mood to change and I will actually put things into motion. However, until that day gets here not much is likely to change. Trying to clean out the rooms that I have made storage rooms as well as the basement. Figuring out what items I need to sell and getting rid of them. Doing that will get me some money and at the very least make me feel better, not to mention the open space I would have. I can tell you that is far easier to write about than it will be to put in any kind of labor to cleaning up – throwing stuff away and selling items.

There is a series on Netflix that was just released and it’s about how the human body works. It’s really fascinating and quite educational. One of the episodes they talked about is the heart, blood and the circulatory system. I was kind of surprised to hear there really is something called broken heart syndrome, it’s also known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.  This is a temporary heart condition that develops in response to an intense emotional or physical experience. It's also known as stress cardiomyopathy. In this condition, the heart's main pumping chamber changes shape, affecting the heart's ability to pump blood effectively.

I wonder if I have this or even if I had it at one point. The series said that usually the way this is reversed is when you find happiness again and they equated that to a new mate or mood-altering medication and allowing enough time to pass.

Okay before I get into more wallowing in self-pity, I should pull myself or at the very least this post out of this direction.

I had breakfast out and instead of going to the grocery store afterwards I opted to kill time by coming home first. The cat food store had an hour before it opened and rather than run back and forth, I thought it would be easier to go back out hit up both the grocery store and the cat food store and then come home. I am working on laundry, which has fallen way behind. Going to actually open the mail and then figure out how much exactly taxes and insurance have risen compared to last year, estimate what I should send in as an extra escrow payment so that when the account balances later this year I will get a small refund and the house payment shouldn’t go up. That has served me well for 2 years and I see no reason to change, considering I have some extra money to part with. Then I have my usual weekend cleaning chores and figuring out what to eat for supper. I will bundle in some additional time to spend with my furry friend who was quite mad at me this morning. I kicked her out (of the bedroom, not the house) last night so that I could get some sleep because she kept waking me up. We had some time to make up before I dashed out to breakfast. Each time I come home she expects, demands and gets food. That I guess is her reward for being good while I was gone. Fact is she sleeps most of her day away. I could take out the garbage and come back, she would be expecting something to eat. She is nearing the end of her life, I do cater more to her and feed her most anytime she wants. She is the one who has the trip to the buffet without much effort, but like any other cat on this earth she is quite picky. What pleases her today may or may not please her again in the future. That’s why I get a wide variety of flavors of food. I just love to see her sit next to me and really lick her chops, that means she enjoyed her food. Chances are good that within 5 to 10 minutes she will go back for more and then come back and do the same chop licking and finally settle down, take a nap and wake up and finish the meal and ask for more. I can see some of her mother and some of her sister in her behaviors & mannerisms, so in a small way it’s like part of them is still with me.

I hope that your Sunday is enjoyable and productive for you. I suppose I should get started, despite not wanting to. Unfortunately, tasks, chores, call them what you will don’t get done on their own. Talk with you all again soon, be well!

Trouble with a Capital T

This week has had it’s high and low moments. The best moment of all, thus far is when I saw the news that Arbor came home. It’s seems as one problem is solved another one develops in its place. I think it’s life way of making sure that you get no rest.

Wednesday afternoon I heard my neighbor on the side of his house and the side of mine that has no windows. I presume he was taking out the trash. Then I started hearing objects hit the side of my house and on my roof. It wasn’t an all at once type thing, it happened over the course of 15 to 30 minutes. I don’t know if my neighbor was outside and I didn’t bother to go investigate. The next thing I know I’ve got a strange smell back in the house again. It was subtle at first and has progressed too stronger overnight. Just like last time I started in the living room and has migrated through the house. I don’t know what is in my neighbors’ trash but I would say odds are pretty great that it’s something illegal and it is the cause of all of this. It’s just got to be that because it’s not an odor I have smelled before and everything checks out fine here, unless it’s something under the patio. The last time this happened a few weeks back the odor was much stronger and had an ammonia quality to it. This time it’s not quite as strong and I don’t smell ammonia. Last time it was two full weeks of hell and I drove myself to the point of exhaustion trying to find the source of the odor. We have had sunny weather up until yesterday afternoon, we got a nice soaking. It cooled off a little bit but the forecast for the foreseeable future is hot and sunny. It’s strange that an odor would last 2 weeks, go away and then suddenly return.

Still, I put my thinking cap on and got out the shop vac. It’s got a nice long hose and I shoved it in a couple of the HVAC vents to clean the duct work. I got a little bit of junk out of the living room one and the one in the kitchen it was full of dried cat food, which is exactly what I expected. I don’t think this was nearly as good as what a professional would have accomplished because they use video and I was flying blind. I also only did 2 vents, where a pro would do the whole house and from what I understand they do all of the vents at the same time. They have to have some serious suction if that is the case. Now that these two possible culprits have been eliminated, the only other possible thing I can think of is replacing the vent covers. We had a stray that peed on everything in this house and that includes the vent covers. He’s been dead for at least 5 years and the odor of his urine is mostly gone. The only place I can’t get it out of is the landing at the bottom of the basement steps. The carpet needs to be ripped out and replaced. You only smell it when your close to the landing and after that it’s gone. It doesn’t permeate the house as cat pee is known to do.

Being confined to my home because of COVID and work shutting down I am isolated. The first thing that goes in isolation is your mind. It plays tricks on you and you get easily confused. Part of me is wondering if this isn’t my mind, not that I am going insane but that its mental stress pushing me a little bit too far. I don’t hear voices or see things that aren’t there so maybe I am still with it and the problem truly is my neighbor. Right now, my plan is to ride this out, I don’t want to live another 2 weeks with this funky smell but if it goes away after that and doesn’t return, I will be happy. Tomorrow is also trash day. I am fully aware that once you place your trash bin at the curb it’s public domain, meaning anyone can go through it. I am not doing that now but if this continues don’t be surprised if in the middle of the night, I am out sniffing his garbage. I’m not out to get anyone, I just want to live my so-called life in peace. I’ve had way too much drama and problems not to mention I am getting old.

On the work front today is a very oddly calm day. It’s the first day in a long time that I haven’t had a meeting with my boss or spoken with him by phone. I like those days. I was thinking of taking a week of vacation in July but turns out boss man is taking 2 weeks. I still wanted my time and found that his offer to do anything for me was nothing but a bunch of words that sound nice. He was really concerned that I would be out the same time as him and I had no one to cover the weekend of my week of on-call, which is what I was going to take off. He said that his boss wouldn’t approve it. Well fuck him, it’s my time and last year was the first year where I actually took vacation in full week intervals. My co-worker that is out now but will be back then has plans for the weekend, otherwise this would have been all cut and dry. However, as per usual I have to be the one who compromises and is flexible. I’m taking two days and then going back on-call at 5p on Friday so I will have the weekend covered. I don’t expect anything to happen, weekends and even evenings are typically quiet after 7p. However, once and a while that isn’t the case. Don’t you know if I turned my phone off and did I what I wanted to do, the world would fall apart and I’d lose my job. Best not to take chances.

I did look for a job and there are plenty of things out there, most of what appealed to me was stale and 30 days or older. Sure, I could have given it a shot and applied but all things considered I am really not in a position where I want to change jobs. I do think that is what it is going to come to in order to get peace of mind in the end, but we just aren’t there yet. I will keep an eye out here and there and if things get worse then I will ramp up my search to a full-time thing. Starting over is scary, not to mention you loose seniority and most of the time (but not always) you loose vacation time. Your also on pins and needles being the new kid in town and have to get to learn the politics of the office, who is two faced and will throw you under the bus just as soon as look at you and who is your so-called friend. I say so called friend because it is rare to form a lasting friendship from a working relationship. I am not saying it can’t be done because I have done it. If you don’t invest in people and let them in, thinking they are your friend then it’s impossible for them to hurt you. I get hurt easily and I also think I am good judge of character and people but I’ve been smacked in the face by that before. When you know better, you do better or at least you should.

In other news my kitty has been quite loud in the middle of the night and not letting me sleep. Last night I had problems falling asleep so we got to bed late and she started up right after I turned the lights out. I figured I would stay a step ahead and just kicked her out. Damn cordless phone battery died in the middle of the night and it started chirping and woke me up. I fixed that, she knew I was up and I fed her and went back to bed, waiting for her. In she comes screaming the whole way, not wanting to jump up in bed but doing it anyway. She sat with me for a few minutes and then left me. With about an hour left to sleep, she woke me up. I kicked her out and went back to bed for what felt like 5 minutes. I had some great dreams but ultimately, I wake up and feel like I have never been to bed in the first place. Thinking about this problem it’s good that she is doing it now if it has to happen at all. When the day comes that I do have to go back in, if she still has this habit then she will be sleeping alone and so will I. Since I am at home now, I can nap when I please it doesn’t make up for it but it is nice to escape from everything and everyone if only for 30 minutes to an hour. I love her to death but she is no good for me when it comes to getting a good night’s rest. It’s almost like she needs a night time human in addition to her day time human. As for me I just need a man.

Unless something drastic changes or I don’t feel up to it, I have planned this weekend to drive about an hour and a half, which will seem like forever to visit a buffet that I used to frequent regularly prior to COVID. I am somewhat hungry for the food but it’s the drive and time away that I crave the most. Not thinking about work, having to tend to my cat or smell this foul odor and just being on the road watching for idiots so they don’t crash into my car. Listening to music and relaxing as well as enjoying some good food. I hope this comes to fruition. The alternative is to stay home, get up early on Saturday and paint the garage trim. I plan to take the trip as a reward to myself. Wanted to this last weekend but I was on-call and afraid about tempting fate. Coverage is spotty and there is a couple of miles with no coverage at all, including satellite radio (which I no longer have).

One more day to get through and what ever fresh hell that brings me. Need to take out the trash and then start supper. I’m having the chicken & broccoli casserole from Stouffers that I so enjoy. I will have left overs for tomorrow night. It just takes forever to cook and isn’t exactly easy to rewarm but I suppose if I used an oven instead of a microwave the results for reheating would be better. Looking forward to watching United States of AL tonight to get me some Parker Young. We don’t play on the same team but damn he’s got a nice body to look at and why not appreciate it. If I am lucky, he will take his shirt off, if not then I will need to dream. Give him a google if you’re not familiar with him, if you like guys you won’t be disappointed. He’s an American Actor and not a porn star (damn).

Hope this week has treated you well thus far and that your Friday & weekend are amazing. Stay safe, be well and try to stay cool. I know there is a heatwave over much of the US. Talk with you all again soon. I do appreciate your readership and comments are always welcome. Take care.

BREAKING NEWS–DOG FOUND

I am over the moon thrilled to inform you that Arbor (@Andrewgoesplaces) dog was found this morning.  This is what I had been hoping for all along.

Thanks for your help!

LOST DOG – Tacoma WA Area

I am heart broken by this story that keeps lingering and thought that I would make a quick post to try to help the situation. 

On Saturday afternoon around 3p in the Tacoma Washington Area, Andrew Nieghbors (@andrewgoesplaces) dog Arbor was missing.  She was in a locked gate and it’s not quite clear how she got out.  At any rate, if you spot the dog and are in the area, please message Andrew via his Instagram Account @andrewgoesplaces .  I’d like for this story to have a happy ending and I’m actively praying for it.  Below are some photos for reference. 

 

I am a fan of Andrew’s and figured this is the least I could do.  If you have a blog or other social media, please share this story to help get the word out and thus increasing the chances for a happy ending. 

Thanks for your time and help!

Happy Munday

Not much sleep last night thanks to Trumpet Lungs (aka Gator), I did give in and feed her but that didn’t quiet her down for long.  I wound up kicking her out so that I could get in about an hour of sleep along with whatever else I picked up along the way.  I feel pretty good for a Monday and much better than I have the last few days so that is a good thing. 

I got some heart breaking news last night, one of the streamers on Twich that I like lost his dog.  She ran away and he has gone all out to look for her.  I know what he feels like because when I was a kid we had a Collie and he ran away in the middle of a massive snow storm.  Thank goodness for talk radio, my aunt was listening and a lady called in.  The poor thing ran a hell of a distance and was curled up to this woman’s outside ac trying to get warm.  Thankfully he was friendly enough and has a distinctive mark that it was easy for everyone to tell this was our dog.  This guys dog ran away on Saturday and today is Monday.  That just doesn’t sound good.  I figured that within a day she would surface but not the case.  I hope that this story has a happy ending to it but right now it just doesn’t look good.  I am still saying prayers and hoping for the best. 

Last night I thought I would try something different and had some Skyline Chili, it was frozen and I got it from the grocery store.  Apparently this stuff is famous in Cincinnati.  I am not sure why, it was horrible and even though I put tons of cheese on it and threw in some crackers after a couple spoonful's I just couldn’t take it anymore and threw it out.  I looked up the webpage for this place today and what I see in pictures looks really good, just a shame what I had last night wasn’t good.  I wound up having some of that Strawberry Crème Cake as my supper.  It was pretty good. 

This morning I expressed my displeasure with my insurance provider about the eye doctor visit.  I got a letter back via email that they are researching the matter.  All I want to know is if they will cover the cost of a second eye exam.  If yes, great and if no, fine too.  I just need to know what my options are.  I think that this will probably take a couple days before I get an answer.  I made sure to download my medical records and take screen shots so that I have the necessary proof in case I need to produce it.  I want to go into a new doctors office fresh with them having no idea of what took place so they aren’t prejudiced by what happened and can give me honest feedback.  If I hear the same thing twice then I am more likely to believe it but if I get an entirely different opinion as I am expecting then I will know my gut was right and I did the right thing.  I’m not looking to lodge a formal complaint, get the guy put out of business or anything like that.  It’s just that regardless of how this turns out I don’t plan on going back to him. 

My boss inflated my blood pressure today.  He agreed with a decision I made but then in the same sentence turned around and said that I need to double check by scanning the persons computer.  That’s only because his boss was copied in on the email, otherwise it wouldn’t matter to him.  He’s very much under his bosses thumb and what his boss asks for he gets, it’s not just him that is like that, it’s pretty much anyone that his boss manages.  I wish someone would see the light and send that guy packing I think it would change our whole organization for the better but it’s something that a lot of people have been wanting for a long time and yet he still manages to stay.  I didn’t do what my boss asked me to do, I send him something that would make him think that I did what he wanted.  I know when I am right and once I make up my mind there is no changing it.  We also got invited to a bunch of diversity webinars that the big boss wants us all to attend but I won’t be there either.  That shit is a waste of time.  Being a gay man I am pretty well versed in diversity or so I think.  Not saying that there isn’t something new to learn but I know how people have good intentions and then how these meetings linger on and on and you just want to leave.  I figure why torture myself, just don’t go and do my regular job. 

The boss man is on call this week and given that we have already butted heads I don’t plan on going any extra miles this week for him.  If he wants me to do something he is going to have to ask.  I guess I need an attitude adjustment as well as a vacation.  I am plotting the vacation part, not going any place but really taking a full week off, no checking email or answering the phone.  I am burnt out and very tired.  I can’t say that a week away will cure my feelings but it sure won’t hurt anything, other than the catchup I will have to pay when I get back.  I haven’t asked for time yet but it’s coming.  I’d like to have the request in by the end of the week.  I just have to talk with my co-worker who is out right now to see if we can change up our on call weeks and then I will be set.  I thought about just swapping them without asking but I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me so it’s best to ask, I don’t expect any problem. 

It’s been a nice sunshine filled day here.  They keep talking about rain and warning us but it never surfaces.  I think our luck is going to run out sooner or later.  I just want to see my rear gutters in action, that will be a reward in it’s self. 

Hope that your day was good, despite it being Monday.  Take care and we will walk again soon. 

Eye See You

Hey I hope that you’re doing okay. It’s been some week for me – haven’t been feeling the best and then some stress came my way. Hey I’m still kicking though, so that’s positive!

Saturday now and I got up early, had breakfast at home, took a shower and went to the eye doctor. I felt really good after the shower. My appointment was at 8:55a which is kind of odd but okay. I got there with plenty of time to spare. In fact, the doctor wasn’t even in the building. That fucker made me wait 20 minutes before he showed up. 10 more minutes and I was walking out come hell or high water. This was the worst eye appointment that I have had and I don’t believe I will be going back to him. He tried to tell me that there were mites in my eyes, he said that he feels I have dry eye and wants to do a bunch of tests that will take about an hour and a half. They should be covered by insurance but no one can tell me that for sure. I got the cash prices for them and when it’s all said and done it’s a minimum of $800. Sure, I can spare it and if I thought there was a serious issue with my eyes, I would be all over it. My prescription changed a bit. They tried to sell me new glasses, some tea tree solution to help with the alleged mites and a few other things. From the first time I saw him he was trying to upsell me. He claims to be concerned about his patient’s eye health. I think he needs money to help pay for the new office he opened and the extra staff he had to hire. I looked up the mite he talked about and sure it is possible that I have it, they are common in people in general particularly in older folks. However, the way he tested and the way the test is supposed to be done were drastically different. He offered me no proof that there were bugs in my eye, I just had to take his word for it. If you show the patient the problem there is typically no issues with compliance for the treatment, which his treatment is spot on. Plus, the symptom is that you have dandruff coming from your eye(s), which I do not. Just like if I told you that you can mix gasoline, BBQ sauce and pasta and have a cure all for anything that ails you. It’s pure bullshit, not to mention if you did mix those things and consume them you would have some serious issues on your hands, so don’t try it. The worst part of this is that my eyes were dilated and he doesn’t believe in reversing drops (they do exist) so I had to drive home in the bright sunshine with my eyes watering and having difficulty seeing/focusing. There were a couple of questionable moves but hey I made it.

Back when I was in high school for Freshman initiation, I had a bunch of girls put make up on my face. They used mascara and eye liner, it got in my eye and I got an infection. Ever since then I have had chronic conjunctivitis, it’s gotten worse with age. My last eye doc gave me a drop that had a steroid in it and that cleared things right up but when you think of steroids, they aren’t something you want to use long term. I switched doctors because of a billing error and this new quack wants me to buy his lotions and potions instead of writing a prescription. I am sure there is something out there that will help me that doesn’t contain a steroid, but then again maybe I am wrong.

I am fortunate in that I have double coverage when it comes to my eyes. One policy through work and the other comes via my regular benefits which I get because of my late spouse. The work coverage that I pay for is better to help defray the costs of glasses. I am going to call the insurance provider that was used to see if they will allow me to seek a second opinion because I am not happy. If not that’s okay because I have the other policy and have already identified the doctor I want to use. One way or another I will be getting a second opinion. Personally, I feel that my eye prescription probably changed but that nothing else of concern is going on and I don’t have dry eye or mites. However, thus the need to confirm with a second opinion.

Later in the afternoon I ventured out to Olive Garden and ate some good food. It is hot outside and I have a severe intolerance to heat to the point where it makes me sick and sucks the life out of me. When I came home, I had plans for getting in front of the computer but that didn’t happen, I instead just curled up in my chair and started to watch TV. Gator was resting in my lap and eventually we fell asleep. I’ve got this Strawberry Crème Cake that I was planning on having for desert but right now I have no appetite. I am just exhausted from everything that happened this week plus I think still some of the cleaning tasks I put myself through in the last couple weeks. I haven’t worked that hard in quite some time.

In addition to the fun that you have read so far, I had my annual review at work. I was highly pissed off and confused by the feedback that I got. Last year I was at the top of the chart (as in perfect review, scored the highest possible) and this year I got knocked down a bit. It’s still a good review overall. My boss is pushing me to get into debt with education and letting the organization reimburse me. However, you have to stay a minimum of 3 years after they pay for your education or you get to foot the entire bill yourself. I looked at a course he suggested and they want $8,000. Not no but hell no. I am no fool and you’re not trapping me with debt. If I want to leave, I am going to leave and I’ll do it not owing anyone anything. I am honestly on the fence about changing jobs and the thought of starting over isn’t appealing to me, especially now that I am older. I also think about the level of access I have and it’s God Rights – I can go anywhere and do anything I want no other place will pass out access like that, especially right off the bat. No one knows what our pay raises will be like but if I get anything less than 3% (which is our norm) that will help make my final decision. I don’t want to chop off my nose despite my face. One thing I have learned with age is to not act in haste, take your time and odds are you will make the best decision in the end. I did want to ask about why I was not as good as I was last year but I know the song and dance I would get. Which is no one is perfect and everyone has room for improvement. Well apparently, last year I was perfect so that isn’t a true statement. We would get into a battle and that is a road that I would just as soon not travel down. I know myself and know that eventually I would lose my restraint and the words fuck you I quit would be uttered. Once you say that your done and there is no coming back. I have a decent amount of restraint but considering that this isn’t the first thing that makes me feel like I have been fucked over. Sometimes it’s better to just keep your mouth closed rather than say anything. My stress level is up and I am doing the work of 2 people right now so it’s just not the best time to go flying off the handle. Like I said earlier be patient and take your time, eventually you will make the right decision. There is a lot to weight when you think about changing jobs.

Part of me want to just start life all over, fresh. New place to live, new job, new car and some new friends. Making my life better. However, no matter who you are, where you live or what you drive you will always have problems. They might be small or large but everyone is struggling with something. My something just happens to be stress, isolation, loneliness and depression. Also, weight gain from the whole shelter in place. I am trying my best to come to terms with the fact that I will likely be trapped at home until sometime next year, based on what my doc said last. I know the world is opening up and there is some anxiety about going back to work but once you start doing it, you will see that it is like riding a bike. It will also open a lot of people’s eyes and make them want to work remote and for others it will be just the right move to put life back on the normal track. I don’t mind going back but I am not in favor of the commute/traffic. Working from home has it’s up and down sides. It’s very rare for me to be busy all day long unless something goes awry. It was like this before we all started working from home and I would just sit at my desk and be bored all day, until I had something to do business or personal. I could speak up and ask for more work but that’s not a move I am going to make ever. It’s an easy way to get overloaded so you have no life at all and that is not something I am in favor of. I am not married to my job. I put in my time and do let it help occupy my mind but if I didn’t have to work I certainly would not. Right now, I am living for my cat, after she goes well I will either start living for myself or I too will drop off the face of the earth. Who knows what life will deal me between now and the time that unfathomable dark hour arrives? I’m rooting for myself and hope that things improve. I don’t have good luck but I also know that nothing will be handed to me or just show up at my feet, unless that something is a lost dog or cat. If you want something you have to either go after it or earn it.

Today (Sunday) is the first day that I feel human again. I went out for breakfast and hit up the grocery store. Came home and watched TV and laid in bed with Gator. Just as I was about to doze off one of my bosses infamous automated reports came screaming in an email that jolted me out of my state of slumber and there was no going back. Seems like every time I lay down my phone knows it and it wakes me up or prevents me from getting comfortable.

I’ve paid some bills, balance the books and need to go through my cleaning tasks. I also have to gather the report data at work and then I’m free for the rest of the day. I’d like to go back out to grab a bite to eat but then the decision of where to go comes into play and it’s like deciding which frozen dinner I want to eat – meal choices are not my favorite thing.

Back to the fun of the 5-day work week tomorrow. It was nice last week having a holiday. Thankfully we get another one next month with Independence Day. Well off to run my report and do my cleaning. Take care and I will talk with you all again soon! Stay cool in this hot weather.