Sunday

Very nice day outside, warm has to be in the 90’s or 100’s.  A/C has been on for the bulk of the day and the house is cozy.  I did a little bit of yard work (shocker I know) to clean and maintain, it was nothing fancy.  Just a little trimming and getting a small tree limb out of the yard.  When I was done I saw a white van at the end of my drive way and I knew it was the Amazon Delivery Person.  I was so pleased to see them.  First time ever I got a delivery from them in person, normally I am picking it up from my front porch. 

Your probably wondering what I got.  Yeah sure you want to know, you know you do!  Well it was a wrist watch.  I ordered what I wanted and it arrived on Friday.  When I saw it in person the LCD display isn’t bright at all which was disappointing, plus it’s a big face watch, which seems to be all the rage right now.  It’s a little uncomfortable to wear but it does look sharp.  Well I told myself I could get a replacement and then make a decision on which one to keep.  Turns out I got another big face watch, the LCD is slightly brighter but not by much.  It’s much more comfortable to wear, but a little difficult to get setup.  That said I can’t seem to make up my mind if I should keep them both, return one or send them both back.  These are cheap watches and don’t cost over $30, so it’s not like were talking a Rolex.  These are what I consider casual wear watches.  My original watch is a dress watch by Pulsar and cost well over $500.  It sparkles and I am quite proud of it.  Metal band unlike the cheap leather bands on the casual wear.  Problem is that it seems to eat up batteries.  It’s at least 12 years old but still looks amazing to me.  The local jeweler I bought it from went out of business.  Oddly enough it’s the same place my wedding ring came from along with a few other items of jewelry that I own.  I’m sure I’ll figure out a decision and right now it looks like I am keeping both but we shall see.

I managed to get everything that I wanted to take care of today accomplished.  From the yard to the laundry it all got done.  I am beat but happy about it.  I even worked in an hour nap with Gator in my lap.  When she saw my eyes open she came to life and started that incessant meowing which caused her brother to wake up and then he had to chime in.  They both wanted a little attention and of course, you guessed it lunch!  That is mostly driven by Gator.  If she wasn’t here I don’t think that Momma or Marv would be asking for it.  However, since she is still here I cater to the need.  Little girl has me whipped.  Marv has turned into his brother, where he will eat a portion of food and then start meowing so that I come over to rotate the plate.  He has an excellent memory of how I treated his brother and he demands the same thing and a little bit more.  I love them so much and am glad that they are here.  Momma by all accounts has bounced back.  I did miss her medicine this morning but we will get the evening dose.  She is a little heavier to me and has even started to play and let out her play meow which I love to hear.  I’m going to try to get her blood work done in the month of July.  Part of me says skip it but the other part says follow through, better safe than sorry.  So I will guilt myself into it. 

Here’s a good one for you.  Like most people I am guilty of filing insurance renewals be it homeowners or auto away and not paying attention to what the documents contain.  However, this year I looked at my homeowners and saw something called Coverage B, which is for other structures.  So if you had a tool shed, a she shed, anything free standing structure wise away from the main dwelling (house).  I reached out to my agent and he said that the state law mandated it and it couldn’t be removed.  I talked with the state insurance department and they told me something different.  I don’t want to poison my relationship with my agent and I don’t want to file an insurance department complaint.  So I wrote the local executive in charge and asked him if he’d keep it between us and see about removing the coverage.  If it can’t be removed to at least better explain to me why it was on my policy when I have nothing free standing so it’s not like I will ever be able to use the coverage.  The law mandates some really fucked up things but I just can’t forsee this coverage being required by law.  In fact you can own a home and not have homeowners.  It’s not like auto insurance where it’s required by law.  I’m interested to see how this turns out.  Point here is always look at your renewal to make sure you know what you are paying for and what coverage you have. 

Ah the prisoner pen-pal thing.  I saw a couple interesting profiles but reminded myself that these are criminals and then seeing the crime they committed and the fact that they were due to be released within a year, they are in a bordering state and it’s just too much of a risk.  It’s not like I am walking around with a $100 bill pinned to me screaming victim here but it’s very close.  You get to know them, they win over your confidence and the next thing you know your brainwashed and getting them money, then it’s a place to stay and then one night they decide to rape and then kill you.  Ah, not exactly the kind of risk that I want to take.  While it’s admirable and noble to reach out to one of them, it’s just not something that I am willing to do.  So I will probably look at the sight from time to time for kicks but I won’t be writing anyone email, snail mail or smoke signal. 

Instead of a pen-pal I am focusing my attention back on the LGBT Greif Group I am in on FB.  There are plenty of people who need help and want to vent.  I don’t add people as friends but rather comment on their posts, relating based on my experience with the loss I encountered.  I find that helpful and it makes me feel good inside.  I really wish  no one had to experience a loss but it’s part of life.

Funny thing in speaking of loss.  I got a letter from a local funeral home it was odd so I was curious to know what they wanted.  Turns out they want me to plan my funeral, they say it will take a huge burden off of my family.  Well I have no family and really don’t give a shit what happens to my body once I drop dead.  There will be money available to pay for a funeral but unless I meet a special gentleman I honestly don’t care.  However, if I did have my druthers I’d go for a mausoleum to have my body and the remains of my late spouse and all of my cats encapsulated together forever. That would be quite expensive but hell I’m dead so what do I care.  Today if something happened I am sure that they would look to my twit of a brother and between him and his bimbo of a wife they would plan something.  She would have her hand out for money.  Bad news is that the only thing my brother gets is the house.  All of my life insurance and 401K go to a friend and honestly that is way more than this house is worth.  I am worth more dead than alive but yet here I am.  Shame I can’t get an advance on that money I sure could use it now.  

Ah well back to work tomorrow.  I opted to shave my beard with clippers so there is stubble left and it actually looks pretty good, especially with shorter hair.  I wanted to do a High & Tight but I didn’t have the comfort feel or confidence with the stylist I got.  Maybe next time.  I’d love to just shave it all off and let it grow back, I know it would itch but hell it would be a couple months before I would need a haircut.

So today I have what I would call lots of money in the bank, tomorrow I will be poor as that is when all of the bills are targeted to be paid.  Really wish that I could keep an entire month’s worth of pay that would put me ahead by leaps and bounds.  However, it’s only a dream at this point.  Unless my bills go away I don’t think that will ever happen. 

Off to surf the world wide web and then go spend time with the furry family.  We all need our nails trimmed and that just won’t go over well but at least I don’t have to put welding gloves on anymore.  I really miss that and miss my Ruth.  Poor little girl didn’t deserve what she got even if she was not a social cat and had some meanness in her.  She was still my baby and I loved her, she knew it and as long as I kept my distance and only approached on her terms we were fine.  It took years to get to pet her.  Then years to be where I could scratch her and I really miss that because she really enjoyed it and it brought me a lot of pleasure making her happy.  Ah well enough depression talk. 

Short week ahead and it’s going to rain here for most of it.  I didn’t wash the car on purpose.  I did however clean the windows.  That buffet trip had my windshield plastered with bugs.  If you go at night or at dusk it’s 10x worse.  Looking forward to what I hope is an easy week and easy commutes.  Hope you have an easy week as well and maybe you’ll get sunshine.  Take care and thanks for stopping by.  Talk with you again soon.    

Buffet, finally made it

Friday brought some good news.  I found out that I am once again getting a 4% pay raise, which is the maximum raise that is allowed.  I got a stellar review.  Yet another reason to stay put.  Things just keep getting better.  It was a God send to find this job 5 years ago and I was thrilled to death then because I was unemployed.  I have worked my way up the ladder getting 2 promotions and I am quite proud of my accomplishments.  I never ever envisioned making it this far in life and doing so well.  I know that my late husband is smiling down on me.  My promise to him was that I would make him proud every day.  Some days are better than others but all things considered I have kept my promise and am doing well.  For clarity I am by no means rich or well off.  I live very much pay check to pay check, if I didn’t need it I wouldn’t be working.

I started and finished a NetFlix series called Exhibit A.  It talks about people being wrongfully convicted due to bad DNA or physical evidence.  It doesn’t focus on one case, there are several but it’s an over all generalization.  Kind of scary stuff if you stop & think about it.  I learned of a website called writeaprisioner.com where you can go look and write men & women.  The purpose is to get a pen-pal.

You can filter on many different things and sexuality is one of them.  I took a peek and was surprised to find so many gay guys in prison.  I am on the fence about writing to any of them, but the thought crossed my mind.  If the prison they are at allows it you can correspond through something called j-pay which is an email service.  It doesn’t cost you but does cost the inmate.  They will get your name but that’s it.  You have the option to send a letter by snail mail if you so chose.  I looked and for anonymity purposes they suggest getting a post office box to maintain privacy, if your going to write.  However, some prisons require mail come from a physical address rather than a post office box.  Well that’s all well and good, I have a post office box.  So let’s suppose the inmate eventually gets released or chats with someone who has internet access.  If you search for me based on my location, you will find my post office box but you will also easily be able to locate my physical address.  I’ve done a Google search on my name and if you haven’t done one for yours, now would be a good time to do so.  Keep in mind these people are in prison because they were convicted of a crime.  The profiles I looked at varied from drug trafficking, murder to sex crimes.  I think about the whole thing and alarms are going off in my head saying don’t do it, this is a very bad idea.  Yeah I suppose so.  Then again what exactly do you talk about.  The site says not to ask about their crime.  To provide back round on yourself and to provide words of encouragement. 

Look I get that society as a whole forgets about people who get incarcerated.  Family and friends can turn their back on you, just as if you came out as gay.  Life as you know it changes and drastically at that.  You have a lot to worry about from physical security to your own mental wellbeing.  The saying goes don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.  I genuinely enjoy helping people.  That said I am still giving this some thought but am trying to shake it loose, it just feels too risky.  Feel free to let me know your 2 cents by leaving a comment. 

Saturday my insomnia kicked in and I woke up at 5a.  The good news is that it’s Saturday so there is no pressure.  I just watched TV and eventually joined Gator in bed and went back to sleep.  I got up around 9 or 10 and fed them.  I had some breakfast after checking my sugar which was 120.  I’m happy with it.  Then it was back to watch ER and sleep some more.  I got going around 2p.  Picked up the mail, my sleeping medicine, gas and headed out of town to the buffet.  It’s a one and a half hour commute both ways, a long way to drive for just food.  However, it’s nice being out seeing a different view of the world.  It did me some good to get away.  I listened to music from my phone and just thought about random things.  It helped me clear my head and make a couple decisions that I had been putting off. 

I’ve done all of my home work like dealing with the mail, sending emails and writing a couple letters.  The cats are fed.  I returned a call from a friend.  Whoopie.  Working on the usual laundry and dishes.  Tomorrow will be grocery store, cat food store, haircut, gas and then cleaning the house and finishing up laundry.  It’s a short week 4 days for me.  I have to physically go in for 3 of them but Friday I get to work from home.  Kind of happy about that because it’s the day after a holiday and there won’t be a thing going on so I expect it will be slow.  Who knows what my calendar and work load will look like but maybe I can take advantage of the time away to finish up a project or get a task completed. 

On the health front.  I physically feel fine, except for some muscle pain in my back and my feet seem to cramp up.  I took my last dose of antibiotics today.  I still have a slight cough.  From all indications the infection is gone.  I just don’t want it to come back a 3rd time.  I need to be healthy so I can do my job and earn that money, as well as take care of myself and the cats.  So fingers crossed that I stay well. 

Hope your enjoying your weekend.  Take care and thanks for stopping by.  Don’t be afraid to leave a comment, I don’t bite.  Cheers for now. 

Is this a daily thing?

Not sure that I will go back to daily blogging but I feel compelled to write tonight, so hang on and here we go. 

Last night I happened to glance at the back door and saw an extra shadow.  Wondering what I was seeing I went to investigate and that’s when I found something I never thought would be in my house.  I had 3 mold mushrooms.  They looked disgusting.  I got them removed and the area cleaned up.  After the fact I did a Google search and found that I wasn’t alone, apparently this happens to a lot of people.  Moisture is the issue, you have to get rid of it or your in for trouble.  I’m not sure why but I am really embarrassed by it.  This was close to the kids water fountain.  Remember I said the fountain was leaking and the carpet was wet, well there’s your moisture.  I am keeping a vigilant extra close eye on the area.  Yet another reason that makes me want to move. 

Today at work my boss decided that we can all use more work, so he took a task that he does and delegated it to the rest of us.  It’s another responsibility when we are on-call.  He had previously added 1 extra item earlier in the week so now we have 2 new things to do when were on-call.  I wasn’t terribly happy to hear this and it really made me mad, but I took a step back and thought about it.  It’s new so of course I am not open to it, because it involves change.  Well I am sure I’ll catch on and pick this up like I have other tasks that I thought were impossible.  Keep in mind he still wants me to be a SME (Subject Matter Expert) and head up one new item for our entire team.  I enjoy my job, but there are times when it can be taxing and overwhelming.  I don’t get physically exhausted but mentally it wears on me.  I do probably about 85% of the work that comes my teams way and have my hands in a lot of different areas and he wants me to continue to add items and tasks to stuff that I am already juggling.  One person can only do so much and I am afraid I am going to be headed for burn out.  It doesn’t help that next month I will be celebrating my 5 year anniversary (I can’t believe it, went by so fast) and usually at that mark is when all of my previous jobs have gone south.  I can’t seem to work any place longer than 5 years.  I’m trying like hell to make that a things of the past but each little frustration really wears on me.  Starting over isn’t something I really want to do unless I am forced to.  Things will have to continue to really decline for me to start looking.  Considering that I am my sole support, there is a lot riding on my job and it is very scary when I stop and think about it. 

My day started off rough at 2a when my insomnia was kicking in.  I woke up and had to use the restroom, but my brain said go back to sleep.  I did and then in an hour I woke up again and couldn’t go back to sleep until 4:30a.  It was rough when it was time to get out of bed and yes I really wanted to work from home today.  However, I went in.  The morning commute was a breeze but the evening commute not so much.  We had a couple pockets where we played inch worm and I absolutely hate it.  Makes me want to be able to sprout wings and fly over the traffic but that is only something that will happen (for now) on TV. 

I’m about to deliver a message to the kids that we get to stay another month.  I just finished up paying bills and had plenty of money left over.  The bonus I got amounted to $192 after taxes and the bulk of what I got did go to taxes.  Next month at the end of the month I will get a thank you reward for my years of service and I am wondering how much of that I will actually be able to take home.  I’m not bragging but financially right now all is well for me.  Not having to worry about money really helps.  I am by no means wealthy or rich, but I am comfortable at the moment.  Now if I could just snag a cute, sexy, intelligent (and the list goes on) man then I know things would improve for me.  I haven’t given up but I do often wonder when it will happen. 

Thanks for reading my blather.  Time to get ready for another day.  Oh before I go I got approval to do some additional work from home next Friday and then 1 day when I have a dental appointment.  I also have 2 days scheduled in late July.  My hope is that I feel well enough to finally make it to the buffet this weekend.  It’s on my list of things to do but relaxing in bed sounds so attractive. 

I hope that you are doing well and the sun is shining bright in your neck of the woods and in your life.  Take care of yourself and swing by again, won’t you?  

Done Deal

I finally made it back.  I kept trying to talk myself out of it this morning.  From a traffic perspective it would have been an awesome day to work from home.  Traffic was heavy both to and from work and both commutes took way longer than normal.  However, I survived.  Lots of people were wondering about me or should I say nosy and wanted to know what was going on. 

My shoulder and neck are bothering me.  My day started early at 5a and I couldn’t go back to sleep.  So I just tossed and turned, finally grabbed my phone and started checking social media and email. 

I got a congratulations today for my 5 year anniversary which will happen next month.  I am also getting a nice sum of money as a thank you for sticking with them for 5 long years.  It’s really nice and when I get to 10 years it doubles. 

It was a crazy day with lots of odd ball requests that kept me mining data in Excel.  However, it passed the time and I am home now so I am going to spend time with the kids.  Just wanted you to know that all is well.  Now if what little bit of this bug that is left in my system would exit, that would be fantastic. 

Hope all is well in your world!

Revenge is a dish best served cold

Ah yes another day at home.  This time I didn’t work from home but called in sick.  I spent the day taking care of me.  Napping, watching TV, spending time with the cats and generally trying to relax.  The cats were after me for lunch and knew when I had slept enough so they woke me up by making noise which was irritating but I was grateful in the end. 

Why did I really stay home today?  It was partially because I didn’t feel good but mostly because I wanted to get revenge.  I get this promotion and am told I can work from home as needed.  I bust my ass working from home for 4 days and then am told that trouble is brewing and I shouldn’t be working from home.  Well for fuck sake make up your God Damned mind.  It’s either okay for me to work from home or it’s not.  Simple as that.  When you send mixed messages is fucking pisses me off to no end.

Guess what happened?  A bunch of work has piled up and is now waiting for me to return.  I haven’t checked my email but I did look at the ticketing system, there were about 10 tickets waiting for me.  Seriously, people really depend on me and seek me out.  I am grateful for that but I think about all of the frustrations that I have, which I know there will be some.  I think about the Mook that I have been stuck working with for two years.  He can’t do his job with a road map and written documentation, he depends solely on me.  What the fuck!  How about one day I am crossing the road and get hit by a bus, I am dead then what the fuck will he do?  How the fuck will that place survive?  It won’t be as if I am there but I can tell you that the beat will go on.  No sense in killing yourself for a job that will replace you tomorrow if you happen to drop dead today.  I am dedicated and pour my heart & soul into my work, which is why it shines like a diamond.  I am passionate about what I do.  I have 3 cats and a job – I’m married to each of them, but family (cats) come first.  It kind of hurts to say that I’m married to my job but what else do I have to immerse my self in?  Yeah there is porn and guys but seriously, work takes up the most time in my life.  It is what allows me to have the things that I do.  I am very thankful for my job and for the money I make.  I think I am well taken care of, although there is no such thing in my book as enough money until we get out of the double digit range.  Not sure that will happen in my lifetime but then again I didn’t think I would land where I am now. 

Staying home does have an adverse effect on me.  I get depressed and sink pretty quickly.  I convince myself that the world is all gloom & doom.  Well working from home helps with that.  I don’t have free time to think about self-destructive thoughts I am far too busy thinking about my job and what is needed to solve problems.  I like that and keeping busy with work is the best defense for me to be able to keep on going. 

I don’t believe anything just happens, I think everything happens for a reason.  I am not exactly sure why I got sick and why it’s taking so long to recover.  I can tell you that it’s given me more time to appreciate my cats and my lifestyle (referring to my job and worldly possessions).  It’s also helped to remind me that I am truly all alone and that is a sobering reminder that I really didn’t need.  I really need a boyfriend, I’m not looking to jump into a relationship overnight but I would like to meet a guy and not get my heart broken.  I think that if they right guy comes along that it will change everything for me and for the better!  I do think I deserve this and have waited long enough.  Hopefully it won’t be much longer!  Yeah I know you hope so too so that I will have something else to write about and it will spice up my life not to mention my writing.  Well honey your not alone, me too!

Unless something unforeseen happens or I take a turn for the worse, I do plan on going in tomorrow and resuming life as I know it.  It’s probably the best medicine ever.  Being around others or at least in the vicinity and attending our boring useless meetings, the drive, the music and seeing the outdoors.  There has been some storms while I have been off but lately it’s been all sunshine.  I told the kids I manage to pick the best days to get sick and stay home.  I also need to ask for some time I have a dentist appointment mid-July and the following week a doctors appointment.  I don’t want to miss either of them.  Especially the doctor.  I will work it in to my meeting that is scheduled with my boss later this week, so it gets on the books.  Feels rather odd asking for time after having been away for a bit but life does go on and my time is my time to use. 

On multiple occasions I have psyched myself up for my return, I get a lousy nights sleep and then once I actually do go back and come home, everything falls into place.  Hopefully I can skip the lousy nights sleep and get some additional rest. 

I did decline my friends invite for the 4th.  They sit around and talk about their dead dogs and the memories they had.  Nothing ever changes it’s like Groundhog day.  Sure the food and company are great but seriously the conversation, fuck that shit.  I can sit at home and play America’s favorite game.  Is it gunshots or fireworks!  I will get my own food and celebrate what will be just another day here at home.  Then have to go back to work the following day for 1 day.  I’d love to take it off and thought about asking but seriously why?  It will be slow because most of the office will be out and it will be like a vacation day in it’s self or so I hope. 

The one thing I am not looking forward to is traffic.  It’s been horrible since I have been home and more than once I have said thank God I am home.  Tonight they closed the interstate that I would have taken to get home, it was done about an hour before my shift would have ended so I would have had notice and been able to re-route but there are issues on the alternate routes as well.  It’s just a congestion fuck fest with everyone trying to get to or from home.  It’s just that time of year.  Then we will get closer to school resuming, I will realize how easy my commute has been for about a month and then bam it’s back to traffic hell.  It clears up or I get used to it after a couple months, then we have the holidays and rinse/repeat it starts all over again.  Working from home is a God send and part of me wishes that I could do it more often. 

Okay, that’s my rant for today.  Things could be far worse than they are.  I plan to change my toothbrush tonight, something that I hadn’t done the last time I got sick.  That for some reason helps me.  It’s close to the 3 month mark anyway.  I don’t look forward to having time on my hands for the evening but it will be over with before I know it and then the damn alarm clock will be going off.  Thanks for listening to me complaint and rant.  I do appreciate your visit.  I hope that all is well in your world or at least that it’s better than mine.  Take good care of yourself because no one else in this world will do it for you!

Rut-roh

Good news I just found out that I am getting a bonus on my next check.  It’s nothing like I am used to but it’s far better than nothing.  No news just yet on pay raises but it’s coming. 

Bad news is there is some concern with my work from home.  No one has said anything and I honestly doubt anyone will.  However, I am salaried now so it matters not if I work 1 hour or 1,000 hours my pay is the same.  I got the vibe from my boss that this needs to end and I need to come back but in the next breath he says how appreciates my commitment.  Talk about sending mixed signals. 

I am doing the best I can to take care of me and still maintain my job.  He knows I am working because he sees my work product.  He’s worried about me as a person.  Well that’s all good and fine but at the end of the day all that matters is my work is done. 

Not 100% yet

I still feel much better than I did.  I am having issues now with my sugar.  It’s dropping pretty low overnight, down to 88.  Hey it’s good from a numbers perspective but it’s not good from a feelings perspective.  I wake up and feel horrible I know I need to eat because of the way I feel and the fact that I am shaky.  I actually got woke up by it last night.  I am thinking that by not taking the extended release version of the long term med I have been on is what is causing this.  I will need to experiment to find out, not something I am a fan of but it’s the easiest way to find out for sure.  My blood work may turn out way better than I am thinking it is going to.  Only time will tell. 

So I am coughing a little bit and generally worn out from whatever this bug is.  I just don’t feel like dealing with all of the BS involved with physically going in.  When I woke up at 5a is when I made my decision to work from home today. 

Grass guy came by while I was here plugging away in the basement.  He’s always on-time it’s 2 weeks to the very day.  I have never ever had that kind of service.  Glad I found him and satisfied with his service.  Now I am ready for winter so I don’t have to worry about the grass but that is a long way off considering we just entered summer a few days ago. 

Enjoyed having a relaxing evening with the kids.  I did get a call about a password reset and I burnt my pizza because of it but that was the worst thing that happened.  I really want to lay down and take a nap right now.  However, not sure that I will. 

See when I work from home the only difference is I am not near a company phone and I am not physically in the office.  Otherwise it’s business as usual.  I even have my desk phone forwarded to my home phone, so I don’t miss calls.  It’s picture perfect and I think it would be nice to do this more often.  It’s kind of a vacation in it’s self.  It takes discipline and not everyone has that.

I did take a bio break a few minutes ago and Marv started crying.  He wants to cuddle with me.  I gave him a couple minutes.  Checked on the others and all is well here in the germ incubator.  I have hopes of getting back to normal if not tomorrow then by Wednesday.  The mook is out sick today so I don’t have to deal terribly much with stupid and I really like that.  Hope all is well in your world. 

Feeling Good

Much to my surprise I woke up feeling the best I have felt in weeks this morning.  I am very happy about it.  My blood sugar was at an all time low of 88.  Not sure how that happened because I had pudding for supper.  It’s like I won the lottery of life or something. 

I knocked out the testing I had to do at work and then went about my normal morning.  Came home from the store and laid down with the kids.  It was about a 1/2 hour and when I was at a good resting point that the phone chirped.  I ignored it and it chirped again.  My doctor finally approved the 2nd antibiotic.  I threw on some clothes and raced to the pharmacy to pick it up.  Then grabbed cat food and came home to pass out lunch.  Started my first dose.  I really think what ever awful big was in me is on it’s way out for sure now. 

Right now I am going to plan for a normal Monday and going back to work.  If I don’t feel it in the morning then I will work from home for another day.  I could get used to working from home – no commute, sleeping in and seeing my furry friends.  However, I know that all good things must come to an end and I need to get back.  Not to mention that my workstation at work is more ergonomic than my home setup so it will help my neck and shoulder, or so I hope. 

I’ve used 5% of my gas since last Sunday when I filled up last.  That’s just around town driving.  I do look forward to resuming a normal routine and hope that all things align to allow that to happen.  My life is a huge routine and without it there is no structure and I fall apart. 

Just finished watching Night School a movie with Kevin Hart in it.  He’s not really that funny in the movie but it was interesting entertainment and it’s on HBO this month.  I pay a small fortune to watch streaming services and for premium channels like HBO & Showtime but I don’t feel that I get the maximum value because you can only watch one thing at a time. 

I am doing some minor cleaning, not going full Sunday special and continuing to take it easy because I know that tomorrow there probably won’t be an option to take it easy.  Might as well enjoy it while it’s available to me. 

Looking forward to a nice shave & shower, then slipping into some sweatpants and lounging for the evening.  I should be hearing next month about my pay raise and based upon that I will make my decision about a new phone.  I also know that I want to throw more at my retirement. 

Ms. Momma has been crowing a little bit.  I see that she naps and then nibbles and then naps again.  She doesn’t appear to need any fluids right now but I have my eye on her.  She is also due for blood work next Saturday but based on how things are going I am probably going to delay it a bit due to financial concerns.  I feel like I am running out of money especially with being sick, that just isn’t in the budget. 

So here’s to what I hope is a much better week and the week where I know for sure that I am truly over whatever it is that invaded my body.  Talk with you all again soon.  Hope that life is treating you well and that you too have a great day and week ahead!

Graveyard Dead

I really want whatever infection, germ, virus or bug that has plagued me for so long to be graveyard dead and gone.  I am so over this!

I finished out the week by working from home, with the thought process that I would be able to return on Monday.  Right now it’s Saturday and I have no idea if I am going physically back on Monday.  Based on how I feel today I would say it’s a big no.  I did put a message into my doctor in the hopes he would authorize the antibiotic that I believe is best suited for me but thus far no response.  I think I will wind up having to go in and if that’s the case I know I won’t get to see him, I will need to settle for an NP and I despise them because they think their Gods but in reality they just hold the ability to write a prescription but didn’t bother to put in all the work it would take to become a full fledged MD.  It’s like a Security Guard vs a Police Officer.  There want to be’s and it just rubs me the wrong way probably because I have had an awful time most every time I have an encounter with them. 

At any rate, I had the muscle pain in my shoulder that was killing me.  I took a stronger muscle relaxer and a narcotic for pain.  I slipped into a slumber somewhere after 11p.  It was slow to react and didn’t wipe me out hard like I wanted.  However, once I was down I was out and I didn’t get out of bed until 6a and that was to change beds.  Then I got up at 9a.  Gator was singing her head off.  I got some breakfast and then watched TV.  I felt horrible and mornings are usually that way, until all of the fluids level out and my head has a chance to drain.  I went back to sleep by 10a and then finally got up around 1p.  I sat around and watched more TV and had to pass out lunch. 

I thought about what I really had to do today.  Get the mail, get something to eat and get cat food.  Well I got the first two done but the cats will have to wait until tomorrow for food.  I had a shower for the first time in 3 days and man alive that felt really good but it was exhausting.  I tire out quickly like I am an old man, I know it’s just the infection but it’s also what I have to look forward to when I am many years older and have no infection.  It’s called old age. 

We do have enough to creep by another week but it’s just not a wide variety like they are used to.  I am also out of lunch food, which are smaller cans.  I am happy to report that everyone is eating and drinking.  Life for the felines appears to be well in order and everyone even though a year older this week appears no worse for the wear.  They are heavily concerned about me and want to be around me when I am upstairs.   

I have to rise early tomorrow because this is a server patching weekend and since I am on-call I am responsible for testing for my team.  I used to seem to get this every month and I hated it but now it’s just once and a while but I still hate it.  The good part is the day starts early but that is also the bad part.  I have a couple loads of laundry to knock out tomorrow, grocery & cat food shopping that’s it.  I don’t know that I will push myself to clean the house but then again it depends upon how I feel. Last dose of the steroids tomorrow.  Day 2 & 3 are when I am at my best and it’s all down hill after that.  I don’t want to go on another dose but if they think it will work then hell I am all for it.  I want to get back to my “normal life”.

In dating news, I saw one of my favorite waiters that I have wanted to ask out for a long time show up on a dating app this morning when I was swiping.  I couldn’t believe it.  I did a double take and sure enough it was him.  Shirtless photos helped.  He’s 32 which isn’t terribly young for me and I think we have the potential for making it work but we have to match first and right now the ball is in his court.  It was refreshing to see a familiar face.  My gaydar is 50% I wasn’t for sure about this guy being into guys but looks like this time I was right.  Now I just hope he’s in to me because I am a little older than him.  I haven’t given up on the dating apps but it is might depressing and lonely.

Speaking of which I have found myself back in my FB group for gay widows, reading stories and passing out advice like it’s candy.  Makes me feel good that I can potentially help someone.  There is a lot of heart ache in the world and if I can help just one person that is gratification enough. 

I need my evening medicine and then it’s back to the TV.  I did see Laugh In on Netflix with NPH.  I didn’t LOL but it was entertaining.  I’d call it worth your time if your interested.  Plenty of celebs and witty jokes and situations.  Lilly Tomlin was also in it and she is a riot.  Also caught up with the latest episode of Patriot Act.  It was all about the Internet and how the providers have a monopoly over US Government and they never ever encroach on each others territory.  Very interesting and eye opening.  Give it a whirl if your looking for something to watch. 

Thanks for stopping by.  That’s all I have for now.  Do come back to see how I manage to survive whatever it is that has decided to take up residence in my body and the other trials and tribulations of my life.  Hope you have a great day ahead!

Who Can It Be Now?

As a matter of principal and to keep my sanity, I don’t answer my front door.  That is unless I am expecting someone or I happen to look through the peep hole and see someone I know on the other end or an indication that it’s safe to open the door – like a police officer or fireman.  I only have 2 friends that live local and 1 of them is out of town now.  There are also 2 signs that both clearly state I object to solicitations of any kind. 

Last night around 8p I got a knock at the door.  It was a female with a dog.  She was persistent, probably because she could hear the TV on.  Eventually she went away.  She did try to enter my home but thank goodness for door locks.  She was on foot.  I figured that was that.  At 9:30p I got an angry man knocking on the door and screaming.  Of course I didn’t open the door and he too was persistent with his knocking.  He returned to a vehicle and drove away. 

While the simple solution would be to answer the door I could probably quell all of this.  The lady wasn’t so disturbing but the man that was alarming he actually got me out of bed and I wasn’t happy about it.  In turn I called the police to see if any neighbors had reported like events but they had not.  The police did come out and check the area but found nothing, which I kind of knew would happen. 

I do expect one or both of them to come back tonight.  I am working from home again today and feel worse than I felt yesterday.  I also need to take out the trash, which I plan to do well before 5p.  Other than that and maybe a trip to the pharmacy I don’t have any plans to leave.  I will have my guard up and the alarm is on.  There are other houses and streets that share my address and common part of our subdivisions street names.  I suspect they were looking for someone else.  The only thing that comes to mind is the homeowners association being pissed that I haven’t paid my dues but we have never paid in the 20 years we have lived here and I don’t plan on changing that unless there is a very compelling reason to do so. 

Now that my head has drained I do feel way better than I felt this morning but I can tell that things don’t appear to be getting better.  I requested a refill from my doctor of an antibiotic that I had a few weeks back.  Taking that on top of what I am taking now has proven successful in times past.  My hope is that he doesn’t balk and will refill it quickly.  I full expect a telephone call from his office and I’m more than happy to tell them I am sick.  If he had taken the time to see me 3 weeks ago when this crap started maybe I’d be ahead of the game.  My hope is that I will get better soon and that whatever this is will be totally gone.  I really think this is a side effect from that new diabetes med he put me on and only time will tell. 

I was pleased as punch yesterday to get an email from the pet food store offering me $3 off treats to celebrate Momma’s birthday.  I should get another one tomorrow for Gator & Marv.  I made sure they all had treats last night.  They chowed down! 

I have a mystery on my hands with their water fountain.  It’s suddenly sprung a leak again.  I don’t get it, the thing was fine for 3 days and now it’s back to leaking.  I thought originally I did something wrong but that doesn’t appear to be the case.  I haven’t taken time to tear into it yet, that is a weekend thing. 

Honestly, right now I don’t care about much considering that I am under the weather.  I just want to get better so that I can resume what normal life I had. 

I did see a show last night called WIG on HBO.  It was produced by NPH and his husband David Burtka.  It was about the history of Wigstock which is a drag convention that is held in NYC.  It was interesting but not exactly my cup of tea.  I did get to see NPH perform as Hedwig. 

Well things are starting to heat up at work so time to jet.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Working from Home

Happy Birthday to my Momma she is another year old today!  Glad she made it, hopefully she will be here this same time next year to ring in yet another birthday. 

I felt horrible when I woke up, I leisurely got moving and included a shower as is part of my usual morning routine.  The warm water helped but my head still felt like it was going to explode.  Got dressed and sat on the couch for a bit to pass sometime.  Then I made the decent into the basement where I began my workday.  Initially I went into it thinking maybe a 1/2 day and then I’d call it quits but after an hour or so I felt better. 

Now that were approaching lunch I don’t feel nearly as good as I did a few hours ago.  However, I will go have lunch.  Thinking soup & a sandwich.  I will probably have to feed the cats but hey at least I am at home. 

I kind of feel like I can benefit from a nap, but I am pushing myself slowly.  If I collapse and have to rest then so be it, otherwise I will be trying to progress.  I don’t want to burn up all of my time over this one illness but I do think that taking it easy is important.  I kind of feel like being in the hospital getting IV antibiotics would be much more beneficial but that would take me away from the cats for at least a day if not longer so I’d rather stay the course I am on. 

My plan is to complete the rest of the week in working from home.  Then we can see about going back next week.  Hopefully I feel a lot better.  I can say for certain that I will be resting on Saturday and so look forward to doing nothing.  I am still on-call but hopefully no one requires any help. 

That’s it for now.  Back to the grind.  So thankful that I have the benefit of working from home because if I didn’t I’d be laying in bed and wasting away my time off. Here’s hoping I bounce back like Momma appears to have done. 

Stir + Crazy + Sick = Stir Crazy Sick

Happy Tuesday!  If you guess that I’m sick again, you would be correct.  Sunday was the first sign with the increased drainage.  Monday morning I woke up and felt bad, mostly because I had been up and down all night.  Going to the bathroom and trying to quell the cats interest in me.  They secretly knew I was sick before I did.  Funny how that happens. 

I stayed home yesterday and did no work.  I picked up my phone about 1p and started sorting through emails and filing them but I didn’t answer anything or respond to anyone.  They hired a new person that starts on Wednesday and of course I’m the only one who sets up new hires so this was left waiting for me.  I guess you’d say I had something to look forward to. 

Last night Momma and Gator fought over me and then took up different positions on my bed so they could both stay with me.  Momma is really worried.  If you knew her it wouldn’t surprise you.  She is the most sweet kitty ever.  I started a cough which is a very bad thing for me.  Coughs become my new best friends and tend to linger much longer than I want them to.  I stayed home today as well.  I tried to sleep in but that just wasn’t possible.  Gator insisted on breakfast and I gave in. 

7a and I was plugging away here at the old computer.  Getting a few things at work settled and then working on getting the new person setup.  Jesus it was a real battle for me.  I felt horrible but managed to get it all done.  Then I climbed the stairs and went back to bed. 

We are in construction season around here and that with some warmer weather means traffic is a nightmare.  I heard about more closures last night on the news and was contemplating my options for treatment.  I really wanted to get to an ER or my Doctors Office but rather than deal with all that crap I used telemedicine and paid for it out of my pocket.  I saw a doctor based in TX and within 10 minutes I was in and out.  He got me 3 prescriptions.  1 a different antibiotic than I had 3 weeks ago and a longer dose.  2 steroids to help speed my recovery along.  3.  something for the damn cough.  I even got a note for work but I won’t need it. 

As soon as I got the text that my medicine was ready I threw on some clothes and ventured over to the pharmacy to grab it.  Then back home, started my first dose and I have been drinking all afternoon.  Mostly soda but some power aid as well.  I know I will be up all night long with the steroids and I will be peeing until the cows come home but hopefully I will feel better.  For good measure I stopped the new diabetes drug yesterday morning and want to see how things go over the next couple weeks before I decide if I want to go back on it.  Personally I think I am allergic.  It does it’s just but the side effects are too debilitating.  It’s unusual for me to be sick this time of year and even more so twice in less than a month. 

I know that the steroids will alter my sugars and my doc won’t get a good reading when he does my blood work.  However, it’s this or stay sick and possibly get worse.  I’d sooner recover and have him unhappy with me than be sick for a prolonged period of time.  This is a low dose steroid compared to the prednisone that my doc put me on last year.  I will have hot flashes and bouts of dizziness when I get up.

My plan as I have it formed now is to spend the rest of the week at home.  I will be working from home tomorrow.  Might as well milk it for all it’s worth.  Then go back to the office on Monday.  Unless I go more stir crazy than I am now I think that will be the plan I stick to.  I know that if I call in tomorrow it will require a doctors note before I am allowed back so I need to avoid that if at all possible.  Wouldn’t you know it but my work is stacking up for me.  It beats being bored but I like a happier medium where I am busy but not crazy but and not totally bored. 

I’ve been catching up on my ER marathon and were moving right along.  I really don’t like being all alone when I am sick but I don’t have to have someone here right now, it would just be nice.  I have been sicker in the past and hardly able to move so I will be fine.  Ms. Momma is so worried though.  I keep telling her I’ll be alright.  Were going to get through this just like we have got through everything else.  It’s a minor bump in the road. 

The cats are fine.  Marv has been catching up on his attention.  Gator and Momma as I mentioned do the same thing but wait for me to get into bed before they start.  I was really surprised that Momma stayed with me all night long.  Tomorrow will be her birthday.  Then 2 days later Gator & Marv have their birthdays.  I really wish Ruth and Bear were here to celebrate with them. 

I have been on my phone a lot yesterday afternoon and today it’s been non-stop.  I love social media.  I got a message yesterday from a childhood friend of my brothers who is coming to town and wanted to get in touch with him.  I passed on his phone number.  I don’t think that will cause my brother to reach out to me.  It’s been radio silence and I don’t expect that to change.  Hopefully life is going well for him.  Obviously it is because he’s not knocking at my door.  I am not so sure he would even bother since he got married w/o telling me.  I think he would be to afraid or embarrassed.  Even if he did come knocking I don’t think I would be receptive, he has done enough damage that I don’t want to go along for the ride to find out what else he can destroy for me.  Doesn’t mean that I don’t love him and care for him, I just can’t afford to be hurt anymore. 

The week is so young but this post is so long.  I do hope that tomorrow I feel better than I feel now and that I can catch my breath at work and get things to calm down a little bit.  There are more new hires on the way so I heard so I know I will need to enjoy what quiet time I get if any because it will be short lived.  If things work out like I want them to I won’t need to gas up the car because the tank was filled on Sunday.  That will help keep miles off and keep my wallet a little fuller even if it is short lived. 

I do hope this week is treating you better than it’s treating me.  I’m still waiting for my friend to reach out to me.  The one I celebrate the holidays with.  We talked recently and he said he would call we could talk and even go grab a bite to eat.  He mentioned he’s going to be doing something for the 4th so that will probably be when we get to catch up, that is if I decide to go over there.  Kind of depends on when he reaches out with specifics.  My other friend is on a road trip, he left today to go house sit for his sister and then when she gets back in 2 weeks, they are going to see his son.  He will be gone for 4 weeks and I am sure he will have plenty to talk about.  I know I will hear from him.  His sister and he are like oil & water.  I can’t imagine them in a car for a couple days on the road.

Well off to surf the net a bit and then back upstairs to continue on with ER.  Here’s hoping the rest of the week will be easy and that I feel way better sooner than later and don’t manage to expel a lung.  Cheers for now. 

One Happy Father’s Day

I refer to myself as a Cat Daddy since I am not a father.  In years past I have been flooded with happy fathers day greetings but this year I only got one.  Hey it’s better than nothing at all.  I’ve been through a lot with my cats and taking care of them is only part of the reason why I have to work for a living. 

Today I succeeded in wearing myself out, in getting chores done.  I spent time in the hot garage removing a decal from my back window.  If your like me and stuck in traffic, you decide to change lanes and the lane you just got out of magically starts moving.  Well I have been lugging around a small tire compressor, jumper cables, and other automotive side of the road needs for quite sometime.  I only have 30 thousand miles but this is something that been in every vehicle no matter it’s age.  Today I made the decision to get rid of all of it.  So I pull out my trunk organizer and set it on a shelf in the garage.  Now I hope I am not sorry for making that move.  The reason behind the move is three fold.  First, I like the empty space in the cargo area.  Second, I want to see if there is any change in gas mileage, the stuff doesn’t weigh a lot but it may make a difference.  Third, it moves around and I don’t like the noise.  So tomorrow will be my first day riding solo and we shall see.  For good measure I checked the tires and they are all spot on pressure.  Fingers crossed!

Everything that needs to be done is done.  However, if I had another day there are a few extra things I’d like to do.  I suppose I will shelf them until next weekend comes around. 

It didn’t hit me until this afternoon but I managed to miss Momma’s medicine this morning.  1 dose probably won’t hurt anything.  But she is going back on her medicine tonight.  She has been resting all day long and did come to see me a couple times.  Now that were headed into the evening she should be more clingy. 

So my nose has decided to start up again and my cough is back.  I just took some medicine and hope that it goes away by the time it’s time for me to check out for the evening.  I think it’s the thought of going back to work, I am highly allergic.  Yeah that’s the ticket.  Seriously I just hope I feel well in the morning.  I don’t want to be sick again until at least December or when much colder weather comes our way. 

Going to put away some laundry, eat some junk food, spend time with my kids and watch some TV.  Then get ready to go full steam ahead on Monday morning, which will be here way sooner than I want it to be.  I did get in a nap and in proper fashion Gator made sure I was up to feed her fat ass lunch.  If I could only have a robotic cat feeder maybe then she would let me sleep.  I’d switch it on for the weekend and probably weekday evenings.  It’s enjoyable to feed them but it’s also a pain in the ass at times, especially this lunch thing.  I don’t eat lunch when I am home but Gator must have it.  I’m telling you they eat more and better than I do.  I am oh too happy to spoil them. 

If your a father or a cat daddy reading this, happy fathers day!  I hope it’s been a great day for all of you.  Momma is back to more of her normal self and I am thankful for that.  Now upstairs to start my adventure of an evening.  Take care & we will talk again soon.  Be well. 

Weekend

Yet another week has gone by and it had highs and lows.  Thankfully today I get to rest and the same tomorrow.  My body can’t seem to get enough rest.  I still have some annoying lingering flu like symptoms.  I have also noticed increased urination even though I have scaled back on my fluid in take.  I do believe this new medicine is the culprit and since the main side effect after 1 year of being on it is bladder cancer, I can say that I’d like to get off of it before anything bad happens.  It is working wondering with my sugars but the risk of cancer and the side effects are scary.  I’ll be talking with my doctor next month, until then I will just manage to keep it together if I can. If things get too bad I will seek my doctors help sooner rather than later. 

Today being Saturday was fluids day for Ms. Momma.  Thursday she looked rather run down and like she could use a boost.  By Friday she was back to normal and today all I saw was normal.  However, this afternoon about 15 minutes after I gave her fluids, she started acting strange.  She was running around like a mad woman, she wanted to spend time in my bathroom (that seems to be a theme for cats that are going to die on me, really not sure why).  I grabbed a stethoscope and listened to her heart which sounded to me like it wanted to jump out of her chest.  I got her to calm down and star purring which helped things.  Just when I thought she was all set she started up again.  I think the potassium might be what was causing the issue.  I left for dinner and came back, she seems fine now.  She had her dinner and ate like a horse.  I am thinking twice about giving her fluids next weekend.  If I do she will get 1/2 the dose she got today.  I can’t have her do this every week it will drive me insane and I will do nothing but worry about her, as if I don’t do all of that constantly.  We haven’t missed a dose of medicine yet for Momma.  I still am allowing Marv to skip weekends to help give his intestines a rest. 

Every 4 weeks like clock work I change the filter in the water fountain they drink from.  Apparently I didn’t put things back together as well as I thought I did because mid-week I noticed a leak.  The carpet was soaked and I thought it was rather odd.  I put a plastic mat below the fountain and then filled it up and water was everywhere.  I got that fixed yesterday and changed the filter again.  I am letting the carpet air dry and hopefully that will happen soon so I can move the fountain back to it’s normal place the kids are rather upset with change.   

I had breakfast at Cracker Barrel since my sugar was in check I ordered the Blueberry Pancakes to celebrate.  Yep that drove my sugar up but it also helped me take in a nice afternoon nap.  I renewed my license plates for yet another year and got the mail.  What a fun morning. 

This afternoon I took in a movie on Amazon called Chasing Happiness.  It’s a documentary about the Jonas Brothers.  Very interesting story and it sounds like they have been through ups and downs like the rest of us. I didn’t know their father was a preacher.  That put an interesting spin on things.  It’s a great documentary/movie and I enjoyed it.  My favorite Jonas brother is Nick.  He is just so sexy.  Yes, I know they are all straight and Nick recently got married. 

This evening I went out for dinner at Maggiano’s.  Saw my favorite food delivery guy.  He is so hot.  He’s probably in his late 20’s to early 30’s.  He’s got olive skin and a very amazing body.  Always a pleasure to see eye candy.  I had spaghetti & Meat ball.  Finished off my meal with Cannoli Cake  It’s 8 layers high.  I ate 1/2 of it and boxed the remaining 1/2.  It will go well with the spaghetti I took home whenever it is I decide to have it.  Monday or Tuesday. 

Ah I guess it’s back upstairs, time to relax a bit and enjoy some more ER.  Tomorrow will be house cleaning, laundry, grocery store and gassing up the car.  Just in time to get ready for yet another week.  Turns out I’m on-call next week.  It’s been really quiet for my team lately and I hope that trend continues.  The mook is on-call this week.  He had one day where everything he touched turned to shit and he leaned on me pretty heavy to help him.  He was tap dancing on my last nerve and thankfully he got off before I exploded.  Oh, speaking of work I had my annual review yesterday.  It was perfect as I expected  I scored really high and was told what an outstanding job I do.  However, they want me to take on more.  Specifically I need to be a SME (Subject Matter Expert) for another area.  I already am responsible for a great portion of the tasks and programs my team handles and they want more.  Talk about stretching a person.  We shall see next month what I get for a raise.  I hope it’s just as good if not better than my review.  I do expect 3% or better, if I get less it will be a true disappointment.  I honestly think I found a home.  Next month I will celebrate my 5 year anniversary.  Wow thinking what has happened in 5 years from the time I started to where I am now, that is just crazy.  I am told I should get a reward for meeting that milestone but we shall see what happens.  I do have my frustration and have thought more than once about leaving but right now things feel right and I am staying put.  If anything it will show stability.  However, most of my jobs seem to go south at the 5 year mark.  I am hoping that this one is different, thus far it sure seems to be. 

I am still eyeballing iPhones and trying to decide on what I should get next.  I bought my current phone a while back and now that I will have it paid for, it’s time to upgrade.  I am eager but also apprehensive because the newer iPhones don’t have a home button and I am so used to that.  I hear it’s easy to adapt to and the whole face id thing well that is interesting.  I want a larger screen and I will make that happen.  The part that I hate is I have to buy a new Mophie case, screen protector and a holster to carry it in.  Mophie stopped making carrying cases as far as I know and they have this clip that your phone rests in.  I own one and I hate it.  There is nothing like slipping your precious pocket computer into a leather pouch strapped to your hip.  The thing that I am unsure of is will I be able to find a pouch to fit whatever new phone model I decide on and since it will be larger will my body still permit me to carry my phone on my hip.  Not sure if I can hold out until I hear about my pay raise.  I do have money set aside but I hate to spend it on this.  It’s a love hate thing but in the end Apple wins because they will get my money and they know that, and so do I. 

Well there you have it.  I hope all is well in your world.  Thanks for stopping by and for your positive thoughts and prayers for Momma.  I am really interested in her new blood work which is due at the end of the month. Yet another expense to budget for.  Take care and we will talk again soon. 

Status Quo

Momma is status quo.  Everything appears to be normal as best as I can tell.  I know that she is sleeping more.  I don’t know that she feels 100% but I think she is 90% at lest that is based on her appearance to me.  What I see and what is actually going on inside of her are 2 different things.  Cats don’t like to be up front and open with you, that’s just the nature of their make up.  I am keeping on schedule with her medicine and she is eating, not as much as I want her to but she also works me to see what she can get out of me.  Water is still being consumed by her and Marv which is normal since both have thyroid issues.  Gator drinks now and then but the water consumers are Momma and Marv. 

We haven’t had belly rub club in a while.  I did rub her belly this morning but there was something special about having her follow me to my room and roll over in front of me and then letting me rub her belly.  It made me feel good and I know she got some benefit from it as well. 

Gator has been front and center lately to help pick up her mom’s slack as if I don’t notice.  Funny how they work together and think you don’t know it.  I spy on them during the day and most of the time Momma is asleep and the others they are hidden away out of camera view. 

I look forward to spending another night with them and taking in more ER.  I hope the commute home tonight is much better than it was last night.  I left early and got home at normal time.  I’ve been leaving early for a while now and usually am home by 6 but last night it was 6:30 and there wasn’t anyone happy about that.  We have lots going on traffic wise in construction and that doesn’t help the commute to or from work, but it is what it is. 

I am starting to feel more like my normal self.  There is still some lingering crud but hopefully it will flush it’s way out of my body this week.  I’m still using the nose spray I got and I can breathe at night and when I wake up so that is a good thing.  I can’t say that it helps my snoring but I do feel better. 

I’ve got a little less than an hour left and then it will be time to hit the road.  Looking forward to a relaxing and enjoyable evening.  Hope you have the same!

Sunday

Momma is eating and responsive to come out at meal times.  She is spending most of her time curled up in her nook.  I know that cats sleep a lot but I can tell that she doesn’t feel good.  She puts on a good show.  Last night she climbed up on my recliner and let me support her with my arm as she stretched out on the arm of the chair.  She actually fell asleep for a while.  It was magical and adorable.  I love her so much and wish that I could rescue her from this and make it go away instantly but I have no magic trick to preform.  Not to be a pessimist but I see that our time together is limited unless something changes.  I don’t want to keep her around just for my enjoyment when she feels like crap but at the same time I don’t want to jump and make a decision that isn’t reversible. 

I picked up some different flavors of food for her, thus far the kids seem to enjoy it more than she does.  She is still letting them eat first and then she will take left overs, even when I make a plate just for her she is still being a good mother.  It’s not a surprise to me and while I think it’s admirable, I tell her to push her way in there and get something to eat.  Those kids will gobble it all up and come back for more. 

This week will be interesting to see how she does.  We haven’t missed a dose of medicine yet.  I cleaned the patio up a bit so that she can look out and see the back yard, she spends a lot of time at the back window and wants to know what is going on in her yard.  Most of the time there is nothing out there but she has to patrol to make sure. 

The others are doing well and just as needy as ever.  It’s physically and emotionally exhausting when there is a sick cat because everything seems to revolve around that one cat.  I’d just as soon as go back to “normal”. 

In other news, I had a decent morning.  Ate the new Mushroom & Swiss burger at Steak N Shake and had a Recess Outrageous mini shake.  That was breakfast mixed in with fries and a bowl of chili.  Don’t forget the diet coke.  Made it through the grocery store.  I was being good and still wound up spending $75 which surprised me.  Got the car washed, they used to have an early bird special but that didn’t pop up this morning.  Then got my haircut really short and filled up the gas tank.  Home for the day!

Watched more ER and had a nap as Gator kept waking me up by stomping on my nuts.  That will get my attention every time and she knows it.  I want to say she is 15 to 20 pounds and that’s a fair amount of weight to come slamming down on one or both of the boys.  I passed out lunch which pleased everyone.  Got my old iPad charged up and now I am working on charging up my laptop.  The house has been cleaned up.  It’s a decent temperature in here and comfortable.  Laundry is just about done.  Then it will be time to shave and get a shower, then dinner and relaxation until it’s time for bed. 

Got my property tax bill yesterday and it went up $65 and my homeowners went up so that means that towards the end of the year when my escrow account adjusts my house payment will go up.  I wish that my payment could stay the same or decrease for just once but unless I refinance that probably isn’t going to happen.  Another gotcha expense came in and that’s license plate renewal.  It’s a little over a hundred dollars for a sticker which is good for 1 year.  I am not a fan of the gotcha expense but from what I see in the budget it shouldn’t be a problem. 

I should go upstairs and check in to see how things are going.  The old lady is probably passed out cold.  At least she let me clean up her nook so she can be more comfortable. 

Here’s hoping that this week will be a much better week than last week for all of us!  Take care and thanks for stopping by. 

Momma Update

I went back to the vet to get the potassium added to momma’s fluids on Thursday night.  While I waited this very handsome gentlemen walked in with a large dog wearing a flower collar.  He was wearing shorts and of course I looked, he has the most perfect ass and he even had to bend over.  I thought I was going to lose my mind.  I wanted to grab and touch it so bad.  As I continued to observe him I noticed a ring on his finger and that was all she wrote for me.  Oddly enough he had a beard and I don’t usually find that attractive but everything about this guy just worked for me.  Ah summer and the guys!

Anyway back on topic the fluids were added I was told I couldn’t give these fluids to any of my other cats.  Then they charged me $28 for adding the chemical.  Wow would have been cheaper to buy bananas and puree them.  Ah well spare no expense for my girl. 

Thursday was a good day for her and so was Friday and again today.  I gave her fluids tonight and like a dumb ass I tried to do it in a dimly light room which didn’t work well.  I went to flip on the lights and she lunged off the counter with the needle flying out of her.  I grabbed her and we started over again.  I used the minimum amount and her body has gobbled that up rather quickly.  I should hook her back up and give a bit more but she is not a fan of getting a needle stick and I am not a fan of needles in the first place.  So were making due.  If things start to go south I will certainly give her more. 

She is mostly back to normal.  The wobbly leg thing has gone away and she walks normal.  She is jumping and talking which is good.  As I write this she is by my side here in the basement. 

Taking a step back I really feel that her body is trying to die on me.  Her personality is alive and well.  She is a fighter but I know that this is a fight that she won’t win at least as I see it now.  That is really sad to me but I am making the most of the time we have together.  I am doing my part in trying to keep her going and comfortable but I know in the end as much as I don’t want to I will need to let go.  Were not quite to that point yet but I’ll know and she will know when were there.  A big factor in all of this will be how she does and what her blood work looks like in a few weeks. 

For now were stable and holding our own.  Back to eating and picky as ever.  Drinking she just can’t get enough water.  Funny thing is neither can I.  What ever this crud is in my body it’s hanging on.  I don’t think I have in infection but they are cold/allergy like symptoms.  Night time is the worst.  I am starting to think it’s a side effect from the new diabetes medicine.  I am continuing to monitor and plan to mention this when I meet with the doc next month. 

Thanks for taking time to read this and for your thoughts & prayers.  Momma and I really appreciate it.  Her birthday will be next week and then she will officially be a teenager at 16 but in cat years she is far older.  She is still bossing me around and that is a very good sign.  Plus I kind of like it.  I mean someone has to be in charge of me. 

Quick update

The vet just called and said that her thyroid is seriously high.  She had been well controlled so it could be that her body isn’t tolerating the medicine any longer.  I have to be diligent in medicating her, we can’t skip the weekends anymore.  Her potassium is low and that will make her feel bad.  I have to go back and het potassium added to her bag of fluids.  She will get another dose of fluids over the weekend and then on a weekly basis.  In about 3 weeks we will need to have her blood work checked to see how her thyroid is responding.  Hopefully things will fall into place.  Her kidney values don’t look too shabby at this point.

Hopefully she stops being so picky and will eat for me, that along with the fluids and medicine will help get her back to normal or so I hope.  Thyroid disease is serious and if it’s giving out on her and not well controlled she is predisposed to stroke amongst other things.  Right now it’s just a wait and see game, which I am not fond of.  I am cautiously optimistic but still very much guarded and waiting to exhale if that makes sense. 

Please keep us in your thoughts. 

Momma

I got a curve ball yesterday.  Momma didn’t want to eat anything in the morning and kept looking at me as I opened can after can for her to try.  Not to worry her children were there to eat up what would have been wasted food.  I got an idea an opened a jar of baby food.  Long story short she ate the whole jar.  She asked for more and I refused.  I gave her regular food at 10:30a because she was still hungry.  By noon she was throwing up and it was violent, it knocked her off her feet.  She wasn’t walking right.  I suspected a stroke. 

She was dehydrated and I called the vet, at this point I knew that she needed medical care.  Turns out they were all booked up and it would have been an emergency if we went over, that costs extra because your upsetting the apple cart.  I hung up in disgust and got a call back in about 15 minutes offering me a 6p appointment, which I took. 

For the rest of the day Momma was out of sorts, she would just stare into space and if I made a sudden move she felt the need to be by myside.  I felt so bad for her.  I did try to hydrate her but wound up making a mess. 

We got to the vet and the long and short of it was suspected high blood pressure, kidney issues and/or she had a stroke or a TIA.  She was dehydrated.  They drew blood, filled her up and took her blood pressure.  Blood pressure was elevated but not high.  So now we wait for the blood work to come back to find out about her kidneys.  The only way to tell for sure that she has had a stroke/TIA is to do an MRI and that is not an option.  So they will go off of behavior as to how she is doing. 

True to form she put on her disguise when the vet let her walk around the room and she walked perfectly.  The second we got home she was back to not tracking properly.  In case your wondering I worked from home yesterday not only because of momma but because I too was exhausted.  Funny how my exhaustion went out the window when I saw she was in distress. 

I can’t express in words how scared I was that yesterday was going to be her last day.  I just had a bad feeling about it.  But she is a tough old woman and thus far she is pulling it together.  This morning she is still picky about eating but did eat a little bit.  She is drinking water.  A couple of times I have spied on her and I see that she is sleeping in her nook. 

Remember a couple weeks ago when I thought I found her expired?  Well the vet seems to think that is when she had a stroke.  I don’t believe that because she was normal, I think she was just really sound asleep. 

She is down to 3 pounds from weighing in at 5 pounds a little over a year ago.  Part of that is water weight but still it’s a considerable amount of weight for her to lose.  Changes are pretty good that she won’t bulk up considering her age. The vet told me that she feels pretty strongly that Momma is trying to die on me.  I kind of had that vibe going already. 

I got fluids to take home because they feel pretty strongly that I am going to need to keep her hydrated.  I’m fine with that just as long as were not doing this every day.  While I am trying to come to grips with the fact she is on her way out, it’s tough to prepare for that.  I sure hope that she continues to improve and we can have more time together.  Ideally the rest of this year would be okay but that will fly by and regardless of when the time is I won’t be ready to let her go.  I don’t want her to expire but at the same time I don’t want to have to make the decision to end her life.  Death is something that I struggle with – I always have and I always will. 

I was telling Momma yesterday that we sure did have a good life and then one day slowly everyone in the house started dying.  I am down 1 person and 4 cats in a 5 year period.  That is a lot of loss to deal with in a short amount of time.  2 of those were just last year.  Life has gotten back to a sense of normal but I just can’t imagine a day without my Momma.  She is the center of the universe for me and she knows it.  I think that she is trying to prepare me or at least was yesterday.  I am cautiously optimistic about her complete recovery. 

The others know something is up and they have known long before I did.  That is the unfortunate part is no one can truly talk to me to let me know.  I have to judge based on behavior and common sense.  If they could talk in the same language as me, wow it would make a world of difference. 

Keep us in your thoughts.  I’ll keep you posted.  Now more than ever I am really exhausted and stress well that is at an all time high.  Hopefully tonight will bring some comfort and relaxation.  I also hope that she goes back to eating and isn’t so picky.   

PIE

Good Day!

It appears another weekend is upon us.  I feel 10 x better than I felt last week at this time.  I finished my antibiotics as of today.  I hope that all of the infection is gone.  I still have plenty of phlegm and hope that goes away soon.  I don’t need a relapse or for that matter to get sick again until much later in the year.  Thankfully I still have plenty of PTO. 

I figured that some of you would enjoy the Pie commercial above.  I went out for dinner tonight and had some Spicy breaded Cod Fish and some Mac & Cheese.  I finished up with a mini Bourbon Pecan Pie.  It was oh so good!  I got this at a local place.  I wanted to hit up the buffet but my fear of being on call and getting called upon while away prevented me from acting upon my desire. 

I went on an Amazon bender and will have a new Cross Rollerball Pen tomorrow along with some soap, a spray that my eye doctor recommended and other nifty things that I could otherwise probably do without.  It was one of those moments where I said fuck it.  I don’t need another writing instrument but I collect them along with law enforcement challenge coins. My absolute favorite writing instruments are made by Mont Blanc.  Problem is they have so much that I want but simply can’t afford. 

According to Facebook my brother in fact did get married yesterday.  The bitch he married of course took his (our) last name.  Makes me want to go change my last name.  I’m serious but it’s only a desire, I won’t be acting upon it.  In other photos he looks really happy that he is with her but in his wedding photo looks more like he is saying HELP ME.  We haven’t spoken and I didn’t get an invite.  I don’t plan on contacting him and I am sure he has no plans to contact me.  I can’t believe he actually went through with this and yes I am angry and highly disappointed in him.  With all of the grief he has caused me I’ve come to the conclusion it’s best to cut ties.  I don’t plan on changing my mind, I made this same decision before and after our mom died I gave him a 2nd chance and look at what that got me. 

In other news you know how your going through your life and out of the blue one of those recurring got you expenses come up for renewal that you forgot about?  Yeah well that happened to me this week.  I got an email from a vendor I use for remote access to my desktop.  I know I am smart and could setup a VPN and spare the expense but I find this subscription solution more secure, easier and I don’t have to guess what my IP Address is going to be when my ISP decides to change it.  Well the cost of their subscription renewal went up to $420 from a simple $100.  There is no way I am paying that so I called and they cut me a break on the price but this will be yet another annual negotiation that I will need to do.  I despise negotiations with vendors be it my ISP, TV or anything else.  However, more often than not it works in my favor and I’m rather good at it, but it’s a skill that I would much rather not have to use. 

The most interesting thing I did this week was attend a webinar and heard from a survivor of the Virginia Tech shooting.  It was to educate for awareness on active shooters.  I have no ties to VT but hearing this story unfold I couldn’t help but be saddened as I heard the events recapped.  I get that people snap and it seems to be happening more and more in today’s society.  I understand suicide but I don’t understand killing innocent people who pose no imminent threat to you.  I got some great insight out of this event, even if I did have to give up my lunch hour it was so worth it. 

No post here is truly complete without an update on the cats.  Ms. Momma has been clingy ever since Tuesday when I found her and got my scare.  Her kids are vocal and require just as much attention as she does if not more.  Gator is the biggest attention seeker by far and it’s a competition to her.  It always has been, it’s just her make up.  Interesting to get to know their individual personalities and quirks and it’s been quite fun seeing them grow up and grow old. 

Ah tomorrow I will be cleaning house after skipping it last week, this place is a wreck and I look forward to getting it back into shape, even if it’s all going to fall apart in a weeks time.  Nothing like a clean floor and an empty sink with no dishes. 

Finally we are officially in LGBT Pride Month, Happy Pride everyone! Now back to giving attention to the cats and relaxing.  Hope your weekend is going well.