Ye Old Weekend Post

We had trick or treat at work yesterday afternoon for employees kids.  Someone told me about a particular costume, I thought it was an adult dressed up so I went up behind the costume knowing full well the person couldn’t see behind them and reached out and gave a big old hug.  I was mortified to find a child inside.  The look on the poor kids face, I was so embarrassed I got back inside my cube as fast as I could.  I made an assumption which has been known to get me into trouble.  I’m sure the kid told his dad and his dad will likely have something to say or maybe not.  I honestly don’t care.  I told one of my co-workers and he laughed his ass off at me and then told me who the kids father was.  It’s one of the new people … fudge!

Today is a mildly difficult day, if he were alive today would have been my late spouses Birthday.  Monday would be my Mom’s Birthday.  Kind of a double dinger there.  I used to look forward to these dates but that is no longer the case.  In a week my brother will be celebrating his birthday.  I kind of feel bad but I am so broke the only gift I can give him is to send him back the same gift card he sent to me.  I’m pretty sure he will notice but hey at least it’s not going to waste, right? 

I really slept in this morning, woke up had some sugar for breakfast and then a couple hours later passed out.  I got going around 2p.  I needed to go to Target but considering my funds are limited I skipped that.  I did however indulge myself with some White Castle.  Now that I am burping them up several hours later I’m thinking why the hell did I go to White Castle.  It was a change of pace.  They had a robot soda machine.  You touch the screen to tell it what you want then hold the button with your cup underneath and it fills it with refrigerated soda.  I never did figure out how to get ice out of the damn thing.  Leaving the place I had a close call.  Another vehicle was backing up and I didn’t see it, they saw me and stopped mid-way.  I’ve got cross traffic alert but no alarms went off.  I got out of there as quick as I could all the while averting what would have been a disaster.

On the way back home I grabbed the mail and cat food.  I spent $43 on cat food, treats and liter.  It’s barley enough to hold them for a week.  The litter is marked up at the pet food store but Target sells it on the cheap.  I wasn’t terribly happy about that but it’s on a credit card and I won’t see that bill until next month.

It’s been a nice relaxing day that has been a little dull and boring but I kind of need that right now, life has been way too full of chaos for me.  Dull and Boring sounds appealing outside of the boring part. 

I did draft a holiday letter, thinking back through the major and minor events of the year.  It will be going out next month, I usually mail on Thanksgiving Day as if I were mailing Christmas Cards.  It’s been a long standing tradition of mine.  I feel a letter is more personal and it certainly costs less, unless of course your mailing internationally and then postage is kind of up there in price.  I used to have a long list and over the years that has whittled down.  It used to be that if you didn’t send me anything in return I would cross your name off the list.  Now I just send to those that I care about and call it a day.  Most people don’t realize how much they mean to me or so I think, but as I have seen all too often in the blink of an eye life can change or end.  I like for people to know that I care, even if they don’t feel the need to respond. 

Tomorrow will be more laundry and house cleaning.  I will also be going back to my same grocery store that got bought out.  I haven’t been in there since the purchase so I don’t exactly know what fresh hell awaits but I am sure that I will find out soon enough.  I really hope they didn’t change the layout of the store terribly much.  Just in case I have my list made and realized the store I went to last week I forgot water for the kids, so I added that.  Luckily I had a spare to get me through the week.  They are thirsty and Marv with his Steroids just amps up his thirst. 

Catching up on some of my backlog of TV and enjoying time away from work.  My next payday will be on Halloween.  Sounds like my so called promotion won’t happen until the start of the new year, which is what I thought when I was told.  However, we do make exceptions and promote some people prior to that.  I was originally told it would be 3 months, which was nothing short of a lie but hey who’s keeping score?  As long as it comes through and the money is right I will be happy.  I have a feeling it will come through but the money may be a little off.  All I can do is wait and see, which of course is not easy but I’ve lasted 3 months what’s 2 more?  Funny thing is I process all of the title changes so I will probably be doing my own, kind of funny and ironic. 

The next big event in terms of work will be end of year departures.  Each year I am surprised at the number of people that were either asked to leave or who are retiring.  I also took on-call for New Years Eve, I mean I will be working on departures so why not it just makes sense.  Plus if this promotion comes through it will be my very last opportunity to charge for overtime, so I will be sure to mop up and claim as much as I can.  I haven’t yet drawn up the on-call calendar for next year but I will be working on that soon enough, it’s a bit of a nightmare because you make the schedule and then others come along and tell you they can’t work this week or that week, so you have to shift.  It would be far worse if my team was larger but I only have to schedule for 3 people total and make sure that everyone gets an even number of holidays.

There is one even that I just thought of that will be slightly hellish and large, were going to phish people.  We just did this whole security awareness thing all month long and next month were going to see who paid attention and who didn’t.  It will cause some peoples blood pressure to rise, an increase of calls to our help desk and an overall increase workload for me and my team.  I am of course the driver but I get my marching orders from my boss.  I really don’t want to do this.  We did it earlier in the year and it was pure hell for 4 weeks.  However it will bring us closer to Turkey Day and well that’s a good thing in my book.  Come on Sausage Stuffing!

I hope that you all are having a great weekend and life is treating you well.  Ms. Momma seems to be doing okay but I have my watchful eye on her.  Now to climb the steps and call it a night.  There all waiting for me.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Home at last

I got a call yesterday that my baby would be ready today.  Then this afternoon I got a call from the Insurance company who told me they found even more damage.  I took out the tie rods, they found that when they tried to align the wheels.  However, approval was swift and the parts arrived in about an hour.  I took off from work but came home to wait for a phone call that it’s ready.  I got that call at 4p but I was told that the dealership is fighting with the insurance company on payment, they said that I could come pick it up, no sense in making me wait any longer.  I like that.  I got a special rate on my oil change and then paid the big bill of the deductible.  They didn’t have the vehicle as tidy as I would have liked but they did a nice job on the repairs.  You can’t tell there was a problem.  Now that my gas tank is full, tomorrow I will be going from home straight to work.  Hard to believe all of this mess started one week ago tomorrow. 

Last night I came home to find that momma wasn’t interested in supper.  She had barfed a couple times and was running around like a crazy woman.  She was squatting and passing small droplets of blood, exactly what we went through 2 weeks ago.  I made a vet appointment for last night at 9:30p but when we got there they were slammed and couldn’t tell me how long it would be.  I waited for a moment but then rescheduled for tonight.  Neither of the vets that I wanted to see were working so I was booked with a stranger.  Tonight when we showed up the vet that took care of Ruth saw that my name was on the list so she stuck around specifically to see me.  It sounds like this is just stress related, that’s how were treating it now.  It’s a wait and see because today momma is back to a more normal state.  If this continues, long term they will need a urine sample and/or blood work to find out more of what is going on.  However, based on the exam results and her age, plus my recent car issue, we think she has picked up that I am just a bit stressed myself and she is reacting to that.  So I got charged for an exam and was told to keep giving her the pain med for a couple more days.  I don’t want her to be loopy but at the same time I don’t want her in pain.  I surprised her when I came home early today, the look on her face was like Daddy your home early, where’s the beef?

So I believe this brings an end to the bad ju ju that has plagued me.  Were headed for higher ground and only goodness will follow.  I hope that life deals me a much better hand. 

Best part of today is I missed out on our annual fire drill, which makes me happy.  Tomorrow is Friday.  We have a few people leaving and it’s going to be a little rough for me but it’s part of the job.  I think I might have mentioned that our fiber circuit got cut so we were on our backup circuit at work and things were horrifically slow.  Today things were back to normal after 2 days of hell.  I am slowly digging out, leaving early didn’t help me but hey there will always be a tomorrow.  I got more work pushed off on me and I am not happy about it but people come to me because they know I will come through for them, that is what happens when your good.  If it’s true it’s not bragging but it kind of still feels like it. 

The next best thing that can happen to me is me getting rid of my damn cough.  I can’t wait for next month when all of the political ads will stop.  There is a guy running for Senate in a neighboring state and he’s so fucking cute but I don’t like his beliefs and he’s straight.  Each time I see him on TV, I can’t help but think about having sex with him. 

Okay now to get the trash ready and put out, then to have some ice cream and watch TV.  This night is done and I am so ready to get tomorrow over with so I can have the weekend to do what I want and that mostly is relax and sleep.  Can I get an Amen? 

Have a nice weekend and be safe. 

Long Day

Today started off like any normal Tuesday, I was working away and then everything just ground to a halt.  Then like whack a mole, people started surfacing what in the world is wrong?  We lost all connectivity for a couple minutes and then we auto failed over to our backup internet circuit.  Problem is the backup circuit is a much smaller pipe than our primary circuit, so things slow down drastically.  I work on a virtual machine and when were on the backup circuit it’s impossible for me to do anything.  So I feel everyone’s pain but if you have a laptop your at least ahead of the game but you will notice a slowness in performance, it’s just more manageable. 

I ran for a mifi hot spot because this took our our wifi access as well and broke out my personal laptop, which has saved the day more than once.  If it wasn’t for this I would be sunk.  So I lose the dual monitor ability and the nice comfy keyboard I have, as well the one screen I have on my laptop isn’t nearly as big as a full size monitor so things are different to work with.  You don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone.  People are acting like they lost their first born child because they can’t work.  I get it that time is money and were in the business of making money but hey these things happen, it’s going to be a while.  I don’t look for this to resolve until tomorrow but it’s anyone’s guess.  There have been times past where we have gone a couple days because of a cut cable.  I don’t know what the issue is other than we lost the primary circuit.

Speaking of you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, I called to check on my automobile and found that the wheels are off to the repair shop.  They said it would be a couple days so if they aren’t back tomorrow the dealership will be calling the shop.  They want their money and I want my baby back.  I do appreciate the good gas mileage that my rental car is giving me but there is nothing like driving your own car, sort of like sleeping in your own bed.  Not the same experience but you get the point. 

Sleep there is a good word for the day.  Gator was all over me last night, she tries to spread out as much as she can.  I woke up more than once during the night and wasn’t happy about it.  We have all been sleeping together as a family for weeks now since the whole thing happened with me getting sick and Ruth having cancer.  Tonight I think I am going to kick them all out and see how well I do on my own.  I’ll bet you I wake up feeling better than ever.  The tough part is not giving in, I can be firm but Gator looks at me with those eyes and that smile on her face and she knows she can melt my heart and pretty well get whatever she wants.  They all have that power.  So maybe I won’t be sleeping alone, time will tell kind of depends upon how I feel and how they respond. 

Work is pretty well done for the day for me, it’s 2:30 in the afternoon and I still have 3 long hours to sit here and try to make the best of things.  I really want the circuit to come back up, there is plenty to do but being limited to a laptop and a single monitor cuts into my productivity.  I have rescheduled a few tasks for tomorrow.

Here’s hoping those 3 hours pass by quickly.  Happy Tuesday everyone!

The beat goes on …

I checked on my vehicle because I got the estimate back and surprise it’s no where near what I was quoted.  Insurance companies love to save money so they are sending the wheels out to be repaired and touched up, that lowered the bill drastically.  However, it will take longer to complete that process.  If we would have just ordered new there is a good chance that I would be back in my vehicle tomorrow but as it stands now it looks like it will be a couple days.

While I was eating lunch I got a call and they found more damage.  The driver’s side wheel is bent as well and the tire went flat, it was a slow leak.  So I had to call that in.  The appraiser has to go back out and look at it and then he will get it taken care of.  I didn’t hear that the tire was destroyed or damaged.  Hopefully, I am correct on that otherwise I will wind up buying a tire, that would put all new tires on which is a good thing but the bad thing is 1 tire costs $323 so tack that on top of the deductible I have to pay and that will really add up for me.  Regardless of what happens I’d like to get out of this as cheap as possible but not compromising my safety.  I do a lot of driving and travel at high speed (70 to 80 mph) and if something goes wrong chances are good that it will seriously injure and/or kill me, which I want to avoid.

I called my Health Insurance and it turns out it’s the ER visit it’s self.  The ER submitted that my symptoms started on the 25th but yet I didn’t report to the ER until the 30th.  I had to explain that things got worse for me.  My Health Insurance is going to reach out to the hospital to have my account put on hold, they will then send a medical records request and manually review the claim.  I did explain that I have already filed an appeal.  My policy covers this in full 100% so this shouldn’t be anything that I need to be concerned with.  Until it plays out and I find out the final verdict I won’t know if I will have to pay or if this will just blow away.

Today has been busy, playing some catch up and then dealing with new people in our office.  Nothing terrible happened, which is good.  However, I see that the moon is getting full again and that always brings out the crazy problems and interesting circumstances. 

I got the cat food my co-worker was giving away.  Man alive she really unloaded on me, my pantry is well stocked now.  The sad part is that it’s all gravy based food and I instantly thought of Ruth.  It’s what I bought her when I knew she was having problems. 

There is something special about each animal.  There losses are felt differently by me.  I really, really miss Bear but I know he had a good run.  Ruth for some reason is hitting me extra hard.  She didn’t deserve the hand she was dealt and she was so innocent, plus we had a great bond going for us.  It seems like when things are intact and there is a solid or closer bond, the animal gets sick and death follows.  I want to get close to all my animals and bond with them but I don’t want them to get sick or check out on me.  I still catch myself wanting to call her or looking at her sister and thinking it’s her.  That little girl was so special.  I hope she is truly in a better place and having a great time.  I have lots of great memories which help keep her alive in my heart. 

Okay enough depression I am going to scram so I can take in some TV and unwind.  Plus I need some water.  Mr. Cough is acting up again. 

Say what?

This morning I woke up in time to take care of the testing I needed to do for work.  I saw that I had an email from my health insurance company and said well let’s just ruin the morning by looking at this.  It was a notification that I had some EOB’s to review.  These are known in simpler terms as Explanation of Benefits, basically listing charges and showing you how much they paid.  I was beside myself when I saw a balance owed by me of $1,026.  This is from my ER visit a few Sunday’s back.  It’s an ancillary charge, whatever that means and it’s not covered because it wasn’t administered within 72 hours of the onset of a serious illness.  I suspect it’s the test for the Flu but I have no idea.  They did pay part of the charge because the original cost was $2,000 but to leave that big of a balance for me, is crazy. 

I started the appeals process and have yet to get an actual bill from the provider, but I know it’s coming.  The quicker I am perhaps the quicker we can get to the bottom of things.  As I explained in my appeal I have coverage for the Emergency Room, Lab work and X-rays all at 100% so there is no cost to me.  I sought medical care in an ER because it was necessary and I knew going in that I wouldn’t have a large bill in the end, which apparently I’m wrong about.  If I am stuck with this bill I will find out what exactly it’s for and then work with the hospital for payment arrangements, I am not putting this on a credit card that is craziness, the interest would eat me alive.  I honestly think this was a screw up but if it’s not I bought myself some extra time.  Just one more thing to add to my worry list about. 

I also found out that I owe my doc $50, which I paid before starting this post.  That was expected and is more than affordable given the circumstances.  I called the insurance company knowing full well they would be closed and the automated phone system told me that there is yet another claim pending on the same date for $550 which is still open, it sounds like it wasn’t submitted properly.  I guess this can easily get worse.  However, a screw up on the providers part shouldn’t mean a large bill for me.  As you can well imagine I am not a happy camper. 

In other news, the cats got their breakfast and I went out for mine.  Then off to the grocery store and a stop for gas.  This rental car has what I believe to be a bottomless tank.  It was 1/2 full when I picked it up 2 days ago.  The needle moved slightly and knowing that I will be using fuel to get to work, it only made sense to stop.  We got up to around $23 and it wanted to keep on going.  That is where I drew the line and it’s almost but not quite yet full.  I think $25 to $30 would have done the job but I don’t expect to have this for more than 2 days tops, provided the parts come in and everything is situated.  They could find additional damage or the parts could be delayed, I am authorized for 7 days on the car but my hope is that I will be getting my baby back tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest.  I sure do miss all of the luxury features and I am not used to sitting so low to the ground, it takes some effort to get out.  Overall it’s a nice car but not something that I want to drive full time. 

The house has been cleaned, laundry is done, trash is out, kids are resting and I am ready to shave and shower.  Then fix a frozen pizza and open a couple cans of cat food.  It will be a regular party tonight, not.  I will still be watching Shameless but it won’t be the same without the character Ian.  Last Week Tonight with John Oliver isn’t on tonight but there are plenty of re-runs of The Big Bang Theory so I will have plenty to watch.  I got most of my TV backlog cleaned up in a short break I took.  Everyone was in my room and they all look so comfy I figured why not join them.  I wanted to doze off but unfortunately that didn’t happen, I managed to keep myself awake.  I guess that will pay off tonight when I PTFO (Pass The Fuck Out). 

It’s hard to fathom that one year ago to this very day is when I lost my mom.  12 months pass by so quickly.  I just can’t believe she is gone but I am hopeful that she is in a better place and no longer suffering.  Next Saturday is when my late husbands birthday is and Mom’s is two days later.  October is not a good month for memories.  Thankfully it’s almost over with.  Hopefully, with the start of a new month it will bring about a positive change and nothing negative/bad will happen to me or those around me.  Plus were getting closer to Thanksgiving. 

Finished Making A Murderer part 2 on NetFlix last night.  Wow, a couple bombshells came out that I never expected.  This is a long and tough battle.  It’s easy to get a conviction but it’s hard to get it over turned and being innocent makes it that much worse.  Brendan Dassey is the one I feel the most sorry for because he was so young when this all went down and my personal opinion is his confession was coerced from him, there are a lot of politics at play here and I do believe now they have the wrong 2 guys for this murder.  Based on what I saw I don’t know if Brendan will ever get out, but I think that Steven still has a fighting chance.  I do wonder if there will be a part 3, this is very compelling TV if you like the legal system.  I hope for the best for those fighting this fight and pray they don’t give up until every avenue is exhausted.  It does help put things in perspective for me and my troubles are nothing compared to being wrongfully convicted and falsely imprisoned.  If either of these guys does get it out, it would be in there very best interest to move to a different state because if they go home and don’t move, something like this will crop up again.  I love WI it’s a great area of the country but after seeing all this I am glad that I don’t live there.  

Sadly I have washed a few long sleeve shirts and will be wearing them this week as the temperatures are starting to drop and it’s quite nippy outside.  I also added the electric blanket to my bed.  That seems to have pleased Ms. Gator and it’s not even turned on yet.  Just wait when I flip that switch tonight she will be in heaven and then stuck to me even more.  That will probably make for a bad nights sleep but so long as I am comfortable and warm, that is all I care about.  The furnace has been on for a couple weeks now and I have it set to just keep the chill off the house so 74 degrees during the day but early in the morning it starts at 75 so it’s warm when I am up and moving about. 

Here’s hoping for a great week ahead for me and for you too.  Stay warm, be safe and keep on keeping on. 

Saturday

There is still a little adrenaline flowing but most of it has worn off.  I woke up far too early.  Falling asleep is easy but staying asleep is difficult.  I decided to tune into the 2nd Season of Making A Murderer.  I still have a few episodes to watch before I am finished and I plan on taking them in tonight. 

Big surprise there is a cute guy in the series who is a Law Student.  He’s not a lawyer but rather a student in law school.  Until he passes the bar he won’t be an official attorney.  At any rate his name is Kurt Kingler, give it a Google and you’ll see what I’m talking about.  He does have a wedding band on and there is a piercing in on of his ears.  Not sure if that is a fashion thing or if he is subtly communicating he’s gay.  He has no social media so no need to waste your time looking, I all ready did that and failed.  Gay, Straight, Married or not he’s a good looking hunk of man!

I was a little surprised when I woke up this morning that I wasn’t sore, I figured once things calmed down that I may feel some pain.  I’ve been laying down for a big portion of the day glued to the TV.  I doze off here and there. 

Went out to Cracker Barrel for breakfast this morning.  A father and his 3 children sat at the table next to me.  His oldest daughter who might have been 10 years old dropped her fork on the floor.  Then she looked to her dad who got someone to get her a replacement.  She left the fallen fork on the floor, as if she was too good to pick it up.  I wanted to interject myself into the situation and say you dropped this princess but I figured I would start a war.  I get that eating out is a treat but if you drop something you should pick it up, it’s only common courtesy. 

I have taken some time to get more familiar with my rental car, I figured out it’s a 2018 model and has advanced breaking.  Now if my vehicle would have had that it would have detected that stupid parking island and I would have been saved.  Ah well.  They have lights inside the vehicle by the mirror but not visible from outside that will light up if someone is in your blind spot.  Mine are on the mirror and visible from outside.  I think that is a basic safety feature that all vehicles that are built should have.  Tomorrow I will be filling the tank and hate to think what that will cost but it should be my only expense outside of the deductible.  I was going to be holed up for the bulk of the weekend but it struck me that I shouldn’t let fear run my life.  Hence why I went out for breakfast. 

My friend that I am trying desperately to get rid of, Mr. Cough, is still hanging around.  Mornings are the worst and right after a meal as well.  I just want to go back to as normal of a life that I can have.  I don’t want to constantly cough, it’s annoying plus people do look at you, like it’s going to transfer to them.  I know it can take months to get rid of but it was gone for a short while and came back.  I just want it to pack it’s bags and take it’s phlegm and fly off into the sunset never to be seen or heard from again. 

I got a call for work.  Apparently one of our princesses at work decided to come to town to help with the move.  She told no one that she was coming and she doesn’t have a special badge that works in our office.  So she complained directly to my boss and said that the elevators weren’t working with her card.  Yeah, duh.  I replied and in not so many words I explained that an emergency on your part because of poor planning doesn’t constitute an emergency on my end.  Your jolly well fucked for the weekend.  If you would have told me you were coming to town we could have made alternate arrangements but instead you chose to operate in stealth mode, next time be a little bit more open and share your travel plans so we can make the necessary accommodations.  She has not responded and I honestly don’t think I will hear from her.  She does this sort of thing all the time and this time it finally bit her in the ass, I am actually happy about it.  The best part of the whole things is that if she happens to go into the stairwell she will have to walk all the way back down because all of the doors in the stairwell require special cardkey access that I have no control over. 

Since I am talking about work, I got word that a manager that I have a crush on is leaving.  If I would have stayed in my current role he would have been my boss.  I put in for a transfer because of my feelings for him.  He’s married, has kids  We wouldn’t have been in the same office but nevertheless I felt it was for the best.  It’s worked out actually pretty well for me.  We still work well together but he’s leaving because of some current management changes that were made.  He begged them not to promote a certain person to be his boss and they did it anyway so he is jumping ship.  I don’t quite know who will take his place if they will promote from within or if they will hire direct from outside.  I kind of think a person from outside would be best but hey no one is asking me.  I was depressed about it when I heard the news and that has resolved into some simple sadness.  I have no doubt he will do well and they say everything happens for a reason.  I heard from more than one person who has left say that we under pay our people, he has echoed that as well.  I wish nothing but the best for him but I will miss interacting with him.  Doesn’t mean my crush will die. 

Speaking of crushes, it’s just silly how a cute looking guy sticks out in the crowd.  I can’t help who I am attracted to and if they are married, straight, gay, bi or whatever.  I am hypersensitive to good looking guys and always have been.  It’s a little for the worse now that I am single but I have no shame.  I mean I wish I would find Mr. Right for me but hopefully that will happen in due time. 

I am going to do some surfing and then head back up to take in the rest of the making a murder series, I am interested at what else makes it’s way into the light.  I have high regards for Kathleen Zellner and have ever since I learned of her in the Ryan Ferguson case.  She is a great attorney but getting her to take your case, is a tough battle but once you have her your all set.  I honestly had my doubts about Steven Avery but from everything she is finding that doubt is going away quickly.  Brendan Dassey I knew from the start he was railroaded and innocent.  They took advantage of a low IQ person and preyed upon him by browbeating him and feeding him the words to say in his confession.  The take away from this series is that this could happen to you or to someone you love.  The police are great people but you don’t want to talk to them without the presence of an attorney if your suspected or charged with any crime.  I love the law and most of those that enforce it, but there are a few bad apples in every bunch.

That’s all I have for now.  I hope that your weekend is going well and that life is treating you well. 

More trouble

I had the most perfect post composed from my laptop at work on Wednesday, but the software that I use for posting encountered an error and it was close to being quitting time so the post never got published.  I wasn’t terribly happy about it but in the grand scheme of things that was by far the least of my worries this week.

This morning I was going to get gas before I jaunted off to work.  I visit a large warehouse store that also sells gas.  I was in the process of taking my normal path through the parking lot, it was early morning and still a little dark outside.  The parking lot was dimly lit.  I saw caution lights ahead and it looked like my normal path was blocked so I opted to cut through the parking lot.  That was by far the most stupid idea that I had.  You can probably guess this is going to end in disaster, your pretty smart.  Considering the environment and the fact that there weren’t any people on the parking lot, only the gas portion was open I traveled at a higher than normal speed limit.  I guess I was doing between 30 to 40 MPH.  I struck a parking island which is made of solid 100% concrete.  I instantly flattened the tires on the passenger side of the vehicle and also bent both rims.  That is the only damage that was done.  There is no body damage or suspension damage and no one was physically hurt.  Emotionally and Financially hurt well there is a victim there and that would be me.  In my defense the parking lot was dimly lit and those parking islands should be painted yellow and not left to be white, everything blended together and I just didn’t see it or I would have avoided it.  I also told myself you should have stuck with your normal route or gotten gas on the way home.  Hey then something else worse could have potentially happened.  Maybe this inconvenience occurred to spare me from something more drastic.   

I did purchase my gas and then limped back home with the futile attempt at adding air but after discovering the damage (I ripped a hole in the sidewall of both tires) I realized that I should stop trying to fix it and work on getting it fixed.  I called for a tow truck.  That was a fiasco because they didn’t relay the fact that my vehicle had 2 flats and they didn’t realize I have AWD.  So the wrong tow truck was sent and I had to wait for a flatbed to arrive.  By now it’s 9a.  Being extremely embarrassed by this, I opted to try to hide it from work and just said I have 2 flat tires, I might not be in.  When the two truck screw up happened I called my boss who had yet to read his email.  He said do what you need to and touch base with me when your back home, we can go from there. 

I got to the dealership and found out that Tire & Wheel Coverage warranty I took out, it’s practically worthless.  It’s good for road hazards only.  If you curb your wheel like I did before this, the contract specifies that they will use pain to touch up the wheel but they won’t replace it.  I am so sorry I ever bought it.  I thought about cancelling it and actually had a letter drafted but opted to just keep it.  My luck after I cancel it I will run over a nail and then I will wish I would have kept it. 

I digress, so I got to the dealership and I tried to again hide what happened but they told me that I either was driving drunk or I hit something.  At that point I knew the jig was up so I just came clean.  They told me it was best to file an Insurance Claim because there was $3,000.00 worth of damage.  Considering all of the money I have paid for Auto Insurance I agreed with them because I didn’t want to finance my mistake.  I filed a claim and an appraiser was out today, he authorized repairs on my vehicle.  So they ordered the parts and come Monday they should be putting humpty dumpty back together again.  I expect that I will have it back on Monday or at worst case Tuesday morning.  I told them while it was there to change the oil because this has been a hell of a year for me and I’m out of time off.  So I will have to come up with my deductible of $250 plus pay for the oil change.  That sounds a lot better than $3,000. 

My next concern was that I would get non-renewed or canceled because I had two claims within a short period of time.  My agent told me that this was my first at fault incident in over 10 years and the accident that happened this summer was not my fault, so there isn’t anything to be concerned over, that’s what you pay for.  Let’s just hope I don’t have anymore automobile issues. 

Not to have a one man pity party but this year has t-totally sucked. 

• 2 dead cats
• 1 illness that wiped me out for a week and half (still have the damn cough)
• 1 non at fault accident
• now 1 at fault accident

Just bring me the partridge in a pear tree and we can call this year done. 

So here’s my theory on why this happened.  There is a guy at work that was going to be in from out of town.  We have never met face to face but chatted over the video phones about business.  We have a decent working relationship.  I also have a mega crush on him and was looking so forward to meeting him in person, considering that I missed my opportunity a few weeks back when I was out sick.  It’s like the universe is saying your not supposed to meet him.  Fuck all I want to do is shake his hand and look at his booty, what the fuck is wrong with that?  I am not going to ask him out or make any advance but I guess I am just not supposed to see him.

I did wind up taking the entire day off.  I did some work from home, which I can bill for and I am still on-call for the rest of the weekend.  I have some testing work to do on Sunday morning so there will be an overtime opportunity but it shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes.  I honestly don’t want to think or do anything work related at all. 

As you can well imagine I have been running high on adrenaline all day long.  I get sleepy but when I am about to dose off my body wakes me up.  Here’s hoping that I get a good nights sleep.  I didn’t sleep good last night because Gator was sick and woke me up several times.  Nothing more than hairballs but still it’s annoying.  That could have been a contributing factor to this mornings incident. Funny thing about her is she hisses just before she is ready to puke.  It’s a new habit and I have yelled at her a couple times because I thought she was harassing Marv. 

I suppose it takes events like today to make you stop and realize just how fortunate you actually are.  I mean there is a lot going in my favor but life was so much simpler and easier when my late husband was around.  Ever since his passing it’s just been one thing after the next.  I am fucking worn out and need some rest.  The lottery is way up there here in the states, perhaps I should buy a ticket and that will solve all my problems?  I don't know there are a lot of people playing and I think there will be multiple winners when the numbers finally hit.  Who knows how many times it will rollover.  Wouldn’t that just be something me a huge lottery winner.  That would probably cause me to have a heart attack from the sheer excitement and with my luck I’d drop dead and never get to enjoy 1 penny.  Nothing wrong with finding out thought, right? 

I am in a dreaded rental car.  I didn’t take the optional insurance because that too is a scam.  Typically you buy it and nothing happens.  Your just out the money and at $19 per day I didn’t feel obligated.  Hey, I’ve got insurance and sure if I hit someone or something or in any way had another claim I probably would get cancelled (non-renewed) but they would still cover the loss.  If anything is going to happen to me while I am in this rental car I pray with all of my heart and soul that it’s not my fault at all.  I of course will be extra cautious and I will also limit my trips out.  I can’t wait to get my baby back. 

I hope your Friday was 100 times better than mine!

Final Resting Place

I am happy to report that I was able to bring Ruth home on Saturday.  It was an emotional adventure but when it’s all said and done, I am glad she is in her final resting place.  I still miss her very much and this was opening an old partial healed wound but it had to be done.  Her name plate arrived on Saturday as well.  It doesn’t match the others but I did the best I could without having to use any additional credit. I sent a thank you letter to the funeral director that I worked with, it was very nice for him not to charge me. 

Hindsight is always 20/20 and I’ve let the vet take care of it and I have done it on my own.  The vet is easier but it costs more.  Doing it on your own takes more effort and you may not get the cremains back as quickly as you want.  I can’t say which way I will go next time but at least I know what to expect.  There was a 2nd funeral home involved with Ruth and I looked at their site, they will come get the animal and you will pay dearly for that service as well as the cremation process.  So I have yet another option at my disposal if needed. 

I accomplished most every task that I wanted to, it nearly killed me but I got it done.  I also got my hair cut again, it was looking a bit like a rag so I figured might as well trim it up.  I saved the task of cat liter for next weekend when I have more money.  Pay day is tomorrow and it’s nice that we have a peek ahead feature where the day before we can see what were getting.  That helps me get my bills paid and determine what little cash flow I will have left. 

I covered a portion of on-call for a co-worker yesterday and got a little bit of overtime, so that will help out.  I am on-call starting tomorrow morning and I so don’t look forward to it.  I have a million things going on my plate already and then tack that on it won’t be a good time.  However, I checked and were not in a full moon so maybe it won’t be nearly as bad as I am anticipating. 

Looking forward to an evening of great TV with The Circus, Shameless, and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.  I still have archived shows from the weekend to watch and have grown fond of watching The Big Bang Theory re-runs.  That is my go to show.  A new season of Schitt’s Creek is on NextFlix, Making a Murderer Part 2 is either there or will be out shortly and tomorrow Ron White’s latest special will be available on Nextflix.  So I have plenty of variety.  I have also started watching a CNN Series on Netflix about the 90’s.  It’s rather entertaining thus far they have covered TV and Music. 

My furry family seems to be okay at the moment.  I’ve allowed them to sleep with me even during the week.  I feel that what ever time we have together will be too short and I want to maximize our time together as much as possible.  Not to the point where were getting on each others nerves but just to enjoy each other.  I love them all so much and not to sound depressing but fact of the matter is they will all be gone way too soon, even if it’s another 15 years from now it will still be too soon in my mind. 

On the dating front I got excited because I matched with a guy on Tindr.  He looks very nice, younger in his late 30’s and has some muscle as well as a great body.  I figured be bold and make the first move.  So I sent a message that was 3 days ago and I have still yet to hear from him.  I don’t get it, we match but then no one wants to chat.  What is the point?  I’m on there because I am looking for someone to date and if I match I will certainly try to strike up a conversation, being silent makes no sense to me.  I’ve come to the realization that I need to make it to a gay club, even though it’s not my scene, I feel my odds will increase.  I mean if you walk up to someone chances are they aren’t going to ignore you like they do on social media, or so I hope. 

I took a fair number of naps this weekend.  This afternoon Momma knew I was sleeping too long so she came and woke me up, which I am thankful for.  I needed to get moving and if I nap too much it runs the risk of interfering with my sleep.  I felt very fatigued with any physical activity.  I also feel like the last of whatever it is I had is working it’s way out of my system. So hopefully a few more days and I will feel more normal.  This will be my first full week so I hope I can make it through without collapsing. 

The new glasses are doing okay, they rub a bit on the side of my head and I get some occasional headaches from trying to figure out where to look so I can see something close up.  My brain I think is still adjusting but hopefully we will get there soon.  If the rubbing continues I will go back to get them adjusted.  They are super lightweight and I love that. 

So there you have it my weekend.  I hope yours was great.  The weather has turned colder here and I have actually turned on the Furnace it’s been in the 40’s already and mornings seem to be the worst.  Nothing like waking up to a cold house to get you motivate to move.  It’s only going to get worse with time because it’s that time of year again.  Then in 3 weeks we will have the end of Daylights Savings Time and that will really mess everyone up.  People won’t remember how to drive in the dark and it will just be bedlam for a few days.  However, with each passing day we are nearing closer to Thanksgiving as well as the end of the year.  Maybe things will be under control and I will finally be caught up by then, or so I hope. 

Best wishes for the week ahead.  Stay warm and be well.  Talk with you again soon.

Quick update

Made it back to work, 2 days in a row.  The 1st one was rough but after that it’s just like riding a bike.  I am buried with work, there is so much to do and of course lots of deadlines as well.  It’s going to take a bit to catch up but I will get there eventually.

I am exhausted, most of it is from work but I still have my annoying friend Mr. Cough.  It doesn’t help that the temps are dropping.  When the weather changes is when I usually get sick.  Maybe it just came early and hit me hard.  I don’t want anymore, not now and not ever.  However, I realize that won’t work out, people like animals get sick from time to time.  Just part of life. 

Lucky appears to be bouncing back.  Her eating habits have changed but she seems like her normal self.  I am continuing to watch her like a hawk but I think and hope the worst is over with. 

Got to make the call tomorrow to see when I can meet up with the funeral home to get Ruth.  I am anxious to bring her home. 

It’s hard for me to fathom that tomorrow is Friday, this entire week feels like a blur.  Perhaps next week I will get back in sync.  Right now it’s time to reboot this box and then run upstairs to pay attention to my furry family and take in some TV before it’s time to call it a night. 

Have a great Friday and a nice weekend.  I’ll talk with you all again soon.  Thanks so much for stopping by. 

Animal ER

So around 10p Momma & I went to the vet.  She was passing spots of blood.  The vet said that it is probably a UTI and/or a complication from losing Ruth.  They gave her an antibiotic shot that will last 2 weeks.  If she isn’t better on Saturday, then I need to take her back.  The emergency fee is $135, the antibiotic is $50 and then there is the cost for the exam.  Thankfully I saw the same vet that diagnosed Ruth and she cut me a break.  Just charged for an office visit plus the antibiotic so $99.  Wow a slight glimmer of a break. 

Momma is resting, she is eating and drinking normally.  I can tell she is a bit out of it.  I feel really bad for her.  I was told that undue stress takes it’s tole on animals as well.  It’s highly unlikely that she is blocked since she is a female.  If this doesn’t clear up then I have no idea what were looking at, I can tell you that I just can’t handle any more bad news.  I am at the edge and it wouldn’t take much to push me over.

I woke up to a goofy email from work.  They are all up in arms that my time card hasn’t been completed.  Well I can complete something that I do at work if I have been off sick.  Fuck, where do we find these people?  I thought it was a ridiculous waste of time but yet, I took time to answer so as to not anger anyone. 

The plan is to return tomorrow.  I am a hot mess of nerves but once I get back in the saddle I think I will be fine.  Until that happens look out.  I have this thing when I get sick that I can’t take pills without heaving.  This morning I gave myself a milk bath as I tried to choke down my medicine.  It’s rather odd that it will subside once I begin to feel better. 

I just had a shower and shave.  Felt pretty good.  I still need to clean up the place.  Just talked with the insurance company and they are approving my benefits and I was told that payment comes directly from my employer, so it’s not like I will miss a paycheck but rather will be short a couple days due to the waiting period.  Part of me would love a few more days but I know that I have to go back sometime I can’t stay off forever so might as well get it over with tomorrow.  I actually think it will aid me in my recovery.  I still have this cough and once I get my head to drain in the morning it subsides and I am fine. 

Spoke with the funeral home and I will be getting Ruth on Saturday.  Better yet they are doing it free of charge.  I am quite surprised at that.  I wanted to get her today but that doesn’t fit into the guys schedule he said tomorrow would work better but since I am going back tomorrow I figured might as well move it to the weekend.  Hopefully, her name plate will be in and then I can move her to her final resting place next to her big brother.  I still have a hard time adapting to the fact that she is gone.  I fear the loss of the next one and pray that it is years away from occurring. 

Worst news I got yesterday was the Cameron Monahan who plays Ian Gallagher the gay red-headed kid on Shameless is leaving the show.  This Sunday will be his last one.  He’s the whole reason why I watched the show.  He was cute and we have a few things in common like red hair and being gay.  His life is way more messed up than mine, hell his whole family is way more messed up than mine.  It sucks but yet the show must go on. 

Now I am going to head up and see about whipping this place into shape.  I plan to go out for the mail, to get a bite to eat for supper and to gas up in preparation for my return tomorrow.  Of course rain is in the forecast so it’s going to be a sloppy commute to and from but hey I’ll make it.  I need to grab my glasses and start wearing them to try to adjust to them.  That along with staying awake for hours on end will be the biggest change for tomorrow. 

Thanks for stopping by and checking on me.  I appreciate your thoughts, prayers and general good vibes.  Here’s hoping that tomorrow will be as smooth as possible.  3 days to work and then the weekend free.  Then back and on-call.  Everyone will be happy to see me and I think they will have a new found appreciation for everything that I do or so I hope. 

All eyes on Momma

As you probably guessed by the title I believe I have yet another sick cat on my hands.  She spent a couple hours in and out of the litter boxes, racing around the house and going in places where she shouldn’t.  I wasn’t sure which end she was trying to eliminate from some I tried to help out with a small enema and she wasn’t happy about that.  I took an extra close look at her and noticed that her weight is down significantly.  It doesn’t help matters that I have been too sick to keep her on her thyroid medicine which does mess with the gastrointestinal system.  She finally crawled off to her spot and went to sleep.  I thought for sure we were going to the vet.  Not exactly how I planned on spending my Monday.

I gave her some fluids at supper time after she ate a little bit.  She is drinking.  I didn’t want to overload her system.  She followed me to the basement and is eagerly awaiting my return upstairs.  I hope that this was something brief that passed and won’t be signs of something long term.  I just can’t deal with more vet bills and/or a sick cat.  That applies to anything that stresses me out, I am maxed out on tolerance right now. 

As for myself I do feel better.  Still have the cough.  I had big plans to whip this place into shape today but alas they will have to wait until tomorrow.  I do feel like I can return on Wednesday without any problems, other than the cough.  I can say for certain that my inbox is overflowing and there will be plenty to occupy my mind, the question will be how best to tackle the tasks that await me.  I don’t want to jump all over the place but sometimes that is how I work best. 

I got confirmation that my doctor got the paperwork that I submitted.  I don’t understand why they (insurance companies and employers) try to bury the little guy in paperwork when the chips are down.  I know most of it is a legality but if you don’t read things you can easily miss deadlines and there are no second chances.  I will be slightly happier when I am back to work but then I will have all sorts of things to complain about. 

I did make it to the grocery store and breakfast yesterday.  That was all she wrote for me I was wiped out.  I felt good but my energy level was zapped.  I am on some high potency B & C vitamins that along with some Belvita Biscuits and occupying my mind should go a long way to my continued recovery.  Unless work reads the doctors note that I sent over a different way than I do, tomorrow is my last day at home.  That is kind of sad and sweet all at the same time.  Worst case is that I will get an extra day and not return until Thursday, which is a-okay by me but I’d just as soon go back on Wednesday and get the show back on the road. 

Baring any continued illness by momma, I plan to check on Ruthies cremains, get some gas for the automobile and probably get me a decent bite to eat out as well as pick up the mail.  I also plan on whipping this place into shape with some cleaning, which is long overdue.  Maybe a last minute nap and prepping for the return to waking up early on Wednesday.  Momma is crowing so I guess I will go up and see what she needs.  Probably hungry or so I hope. 

More time off

I saw the lady NP that I dislike.  She started out I see your here as an ER follow up visit.  I want you to know that I reviewed the EKG and labs from the hospital.  Then she paused and said strike that.  I reviewed your labs and x-ray, ah that sounded better.  She examined me and said that this is a virus and my lungs are clear.  I’m telling you I think she has a hearing problem.  There is no way my lungs are clear with all of the crap I have been bringing up.  She suggested flushing my sinuses with a pressurized sinus spray that you can buy OTC.  Yeah okay thanks for that.  I needed an updated note and she has me going back on Wednesday.  That will give me a little more time to rest up and hopefully get over the fatigued part and who knows maybe my coughing will stop by then. 

I have to file FMLA and STD (Short Term Disability), so that means my doctor has to fill out some paperwork.  I am also waiting for a call from an insurance provider for the disability.  That should be a fun call. 

I am pleased that I get additional time to rest up but I really want to go back to work.  Shit is piling up deep and even though I’m not supposed to worry about it, I kind of am.  However, there isn’t anything I can do about it until I return to work.  If Wednesday comes and I don’t feel up to going to work I will have to go back to the doctor.  My doc is booked up until the end of the month so guess who I will wind up seeing.  Yeah Ms. Personality.  I really want to avoid that at all costs. 

So now I wait for the time to pass, wait to see how my body heals and go from there.  It’s truly 1 day at a time.  I wanted to stop for soup at Olive Garden but I talked myself out of that and came straight home.  I had a Chicken Pot Pie for supper which was nice.  I will be going out tomorrow and trying to go back to as much of a normal weekend routine as I can. 

After all of this commotion today I was tired.  I went to lay down on my bed and Momma let me sleep for an hour and then she started crowing and wouldn’t let me sleep any longer.  I don’t know why because it’s not like I have anything on the agenda.  I think she just wanted attention.  Daytime TV sucks.  Unless you want to watch talk shows or old 70’s/80’s shows there really isn’t anything else on. 

Everyone is still looking for Ruth, they don’t quite yet understand that she isn’t here.  It’s heart breaking to see them sitting at the top of the stairs just waiting on her to come up.  I think me staying home and her passing really has everyone thrown for a loop.  Hard to believe it will be 1 week tomorrow that she left us.  No word on her cremains but I will be following up.  I did find an urn for her last night it matches the others and I ordered an engraved brass plaque.  The urn will be here tomorrow and the plaque won’t be here until next week or the week after.  I’m trying to save money but honestly don’t think I saved that much by using the approach I did.  However, nothing ventured nothing gained.  I really can’t say for certain how expensive this is/was until I know the cost for getting her cremains back.  I still miss her very much.  It hurts but not nearly as bad as last week.  I can’t bring myself to wear my sweat pants where she was sleeping, I almost don’t want to disturb anything.  No one will sleep in the pet beds she liked.  It’s still hard for me to fathom that I am down to 3 cats.  At the high point it was 7 and now it’s only 3.  That’s 4 cats gone and only 1 of them passed on their own. 

I guess that is enough depression for the day.  Time to hike backup stairs and see how the furry kids are as well as what I can find to watch on TV.  What a week.  I am thankful that I won’t loose but 2 days pay over this absence but I am sure that will be noticeable.  I just pray I can make it until the 1st of the year without getting sick and without having another need for time off. 

Have a great weekend!

Zapped

Yesterday was a pretty good day over all.  Today not so much, I had some insomnia last night and was up for a couple hours.  The cats had me up for their early breakfast.  I was just zapped as far as energy.  My old friend ‘cough’ returned and I am so sore.  I feel horrible.  I want to go back on Monday but if I still feel like this then that won’t be possible. 

I got a call from HR today and were scheduled to follow up after my doctors appointment.  Looks like I will have to use FMLA plus Short Term Disability.  This is going to be a paperwork nightmare I can feel it already.  I’ll go in with an open mind tomorrow and see what the witch that I don’t want to see has to say.  Who knows maybe today is a temporary set back. 

I am proud that I pushed myself to accomplish my goals.  They were shave, shower, get dressed, get the mail, grab a bite to eat, stop for some groceries.  I had to get the trash out as well.  Then I collapsed to watch TV and surf through my phone. 

I just had some pumpkin bread and a soda so that I could take my evening medicine.  Doing some blogging here and make a couple entries in my check book and then it will be back upstairs to watch TV.  There is plenty on be it repeats and new content.  I’m trying very hard to keep a semi normal schedule so that it’s not such a shock to my system when I return to normal.  I may not get to go back on Monday as I want to but eventually sooner or later I will have to go back. 

I got my sympathy card from the vet today, lots of staff signed it but this is the first time there are no doctors signatures.  I thought that was odd but hey it is what it is.  I have yet to hear from the funeral home and if they don’t call me tomorrow I will be calling them.  I’d like to get what is left of my baby back home where she belongs. 

There you have it my wonderful day.  I’m bored out of my mind and enjoying the rest but ready for some work and a better sense of normal.  Being sick and alone is scary.  I do have moments where I just take in the silence and enjoy it but there are other times that the silence is disturbing.  My cats are a great comfort but they don’t have quite the same effect as a human.  Plus they talk back and I have no idea what they are saying. 

I’ll let you know how tomorrow goes and what the game plan is.  The best news of all is the FMLA will protect my job for 12 weeks, not that I have anything to worry about but hey it’s nice to know that protection is there.  I’ll see if there is some way we can open a claim to where it covers me now as well as any potential future leave I may need for the remainder of the year.  I know for a fact you don’t have to use all 12 weeks at once and you can take the time intermittently, but it’s time without pay.  I know that Short Term Disability will cover the bulk of this absence but future absences won’t be covered unless I am out 5 days.  It’s bad enough to be sick but to have to be concerned about insurance and paperwork is worse. 

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day for all of us.  Talk with you again soon. 

Recovery

I believe I am in recovery mode from this latest illness.  Sunday I spent 5 hours in the “good” emergency room.  I got a chest x-ray, tested for the flu and blood work done.  I also got the same diagnosis of Bronchitis.  They told me it was viral but again I disagree.  They told me to stop taking my steroids because that is what was keeping me up at night.  They also said they weren’t really helping me but I should finish the antibiotic.  Really ? If it’s a virus that I have and the antibiotic isn’t doing anything why finish it?  There was no response to that question.  They told me to stay home on Monday and go back to work on Tuesday.  Hell I was 1 day away from the 5 day minimum for Short Term Disability.  I decided as bad as I felt I was taking time for me, nothing else mattered. 

Sunday is grocery shopping day but I never made it.  I got as far as going out for breakfast and then drove myself to the ER.  I stopped for a sandwich on the way home and then came home to collapse.  I stayed in my bedroom for the remainder of the day.  The remaining cats are clinging to me like glue.  They are also a bit confused.  However, I am still passing out food and emptying the litter box so they seem content.

There is no question that I have been under intense stress from work and then at home with Ruth.  I know this illness isn’t timed the best but everything happens for a reason and I believe that to be designed to force me to take a break.

My boss reached out to me today and he needed help with only something he thought I could do.  I didn’t bother to tell him otherwise but there are plenty of others who could have helped.  I shouldn’t have helped at all because it could easily fuck me out of STD but I didn’t document my time worked.  He’s also not smart enough to reach out to HR to tell them I am out.  So I will have to call when I get back and let them know so I can start the process to collect STD, it will only be a couple days but hey I want every penny that is coming to me. 

This is the first time I have been in front of my computer other than earlier this morning.  It kind of feels good to be back.  I even took a break from my phone.  I’d power it on in the morning to tell my boss that I wasn’t coming and then turn it back off.  Good thing that I decided to power it on this morning and leave it on.  So I think I will go back to normal on that as well.  Social Media really stacks up as well, with plenty of content for me to review. 

I haven’t shaved either and I look horrible, but then again I have felt horrible.  I plan to go over my face with a trimmer tonight and then actually shave on Sunday as normal.  My goal is to return to the office on Monday and that will resume life as I know it.  There is a ton of crap in my inbox and lots of things others have had to pickup in my absence.  I think everyone got a good dose of what I actually do and that hopefully will help me in the long run. 

As for being a prisoner in my own home, it’s been a nightmare.  Searching for something to watch is a never ending task.  I consume TV at a rapid rate.  I am running low on Soda and damn near out of milk.  My beverage of choice has been ice water.  I know it’s the best thing for me to loosen things up and flush them out.  My plumbing also got backed up which didn’t help.  That issue is resolved.  Now if I could just get rid of this flehm and cough, as well as the slight fever I believe I have that would be swell. 

My first day that I started to feel somewhat back to normal was yesterday.  This morning was a little rough and I thought I was going backwards but once I started back on the water that helped.  I wanted to nap but my body wouldn’t allow me to. 

Everything is on the low end here and if it wasn’t for my surplus of TV dinners I would have been screwed.  It’s times likes these that I am reminded of actually how alone I am.  It’s frightening and depressing to think about.  I am pretty well sure if I reached out I could get someone to get some groceries for me but there are also delivery services now.  I more needed company than anything.  You can’t get that through a phone call.  Thank God for the remaining cats that I have.  Momma and Gator have taken turns bossing me around.  Marv has been chatty and craving attention.  I get kisses from Momma and Marv, always have.  They think my arms are spare ribs and tasty at that.  I haven’t exactly been fair to them with their medicine and I am behind.  Today I took a good look at Momma and she is getting damn thin, despite all of the food I have put out.  Were gonna have to fatten her up.  Marv is doing okay and Gator well there isn’t anything to worry about she is as plump as can be. 

It’s taken me a couple days to come to terms with the fact that I am left with 3 out of the 5.  Losing any of them is difficult.  I pray that the remaining 3 don’t go any time soon and that when it’s their time it won’t be from Cancer or anything related to Cancer.  With idle time I start to look back through photos and videos.  I find that everyone is searching for fussy Ruth but no one can find her.  I’ve explained that she is gone but I don’t know that they get it.  Momma seems most particularly disturbed because Ruth was her shadow.  Gator looked forward to washing her in the morning before breakfast and I miss seeing her face and seeing her dance around.  Marv I think is confused but happy there isn’t anyone to boss him around but Gator has really stepped up to the plate on that front.  We have an even balance here with Marv & Me being the Guys and Gator & Momma being the Girls.  It’s not the balance that I want but I am thankful that I have it.  Things can always be worse. 

So I made a doctors appointment this morning.  Can’t see my doc have to see the bitch Nurse Practionier whom I hate with a passion, just in case it’s not obvious.  Once I figured that out I opted to schedule for Friday.  That way she has to write a note to cover my absence and that isn’t asking too much.  If I went in early she could have easily kicked me loose and I’d rather just take the rest of the week, do some moderate activity, nothing crazy.  Sort of a ramp up approach to going back to Full Time.  I know there are plenty of people that will be happy to see me back.  I pray there aren’t any hoops to jump through and that things flow smoothly to get me back to where I belong.  I honestly miss it but at the same time I had a chance to reflect and now can understand why people take vacation.  I don’t use my time like that, I take a day here and there normally with plenty left but this year will be the exception to that.  Next year I get more time because it will be my 5th year I think it’s like 3 or 4 days more and hey I could use that now. 

I’ll keep you posted on how things go.  Tomorrow I’m going to try to get to the grocery store to grab a few things.  I will go back on Sunday as per my normal routine. 

Here’s hoping that the remaining days and months this year bring me joy or at least are drama/trouble free.  I’m interested to know how/when my promotion will come to pass, if at all.  I kind of think they are holding out until the 1st of the year.  That is usually when those happen.  So I get end of year departures and then it’s followed with a bunch of title/job changes.  It’s a busy time of the year.  Thanks for stopping by.