Gator again

Perhaps I shouldn’t have said a word about Gator in my post yesterday.  Things went south last night.  I passed out supper as normal and she ate some of it.  Then a while later I was watching TV and she kept pestering me, eventually I put it together that she wanted food.  She wound up eating a bit, stopping for a bit and then asking for it back.  In the end she managed to polish off 2 1/2 cans of food.  I’ve never, ever seen a cat eat that much and not throw some of it back up.  Gator kept it all down, thankfully. 

This along with other clues over the past couple weeks has caused me to realize that her disease (IBD or Lymphoma) is getting worse and the small amount of steroid that I have been throwing at the problem just isn’t cutting the mustard.  When this all started she had the same ravenous appetite but would only consume gravy and stopped drinking water.  Now she eats everything and is consuming water. 

It’s time to bump up the steroid, so I gave her a full pill last night.  It takes 5 days for the new dose to level out in her body and to see any measurable results. 

She woke me up last night several times.  I passed out more food and eventually we laid down to each other.  Eventually she wanted up and that is when she made her way for water.  I took that as a sign and went back to bed. 

I almost took her to the hospital last night.  The most they could do is palpate to see if they felt any stool trapped and do blood work.  She would get the million dollar workup and I’d get the bill but I don’t know that we would have solved anything. 

Right now I am waiting for her to use the litter box, if what comes out matches up to what went in then were good.  If not then I will be calling for an appointment as there is probably something else going on. 

She is well hydrated, I checked that last night and again this morning.  I also see that she consumed a normal amount of water and topped off the fountain this morning.

This morning she consumed another 2 cans (normally it’s 1 or part of 1) for breakfast.  I’ve not heard a peep from her since I managed to make to the computer but I will be checking on her shortly. 

I don’t have a good feeling about this whole mess.  I don’t want to go negative right away but her age is certainly one factor that is against her.  I know that no cat lives forever but I don’t want to part with her be it her time or prematurely.  We (Gator & I) could use positive vibes, prayers and whatever else good that you can virtually send our way.  Fingers Crossed!

Day after Monday

We made it through Monday, hooray!  It was actually a pretty easy day for me.  I got an influx of work and was busy for a while, which helped to pass a good portion of the day away.  A nice quiet day while the boss was away. 

It was a bit chilly out yesterday and the sun finally came through the window.  I took a late lunch and Gator took advantage of the sunshine and wanted to sun bathe a bit.  The furnace kicked on and she had warm air blowing on her, she was upset by that and tried to get me to make it stop but I told her just hang in there it will turn off eventually and it did.  She wasn’t pleased with me but did get to enjoy some time in the sun and even got to eat in the sun so not a bad deal for her. 

The neighbor came over to share the “good news” with me on the cost for chopping down the gaggle of trees we spoke about a while back.  It’s going to cost me a couple grand.  I’ve only got 1 tree in this bunch and it’s tall but really not worth the money.  I told him I would pay just to get the job done and to get rid of the threat.  Eventually (might be a decade or could happen in a month) they will fall down and do damage to someone or something.  I am not a fan of chopping down trees and it really bothers me (not sure why).  This is one of those situations where it’s better off to be safe than sorry.  My late spouse wouldn’t permit the work to be done years ago but I said I would pay then and it wasn’t about the money, he too wasn’t a fan of chopping down trees. Technically the neighbor behind us has been mowing the grass on what was my/our property for years so he kind of inherited the property and he should pay what is now my portion but I don’t want to be difficult because before you know it the whole thing will get blown out of proportion.  Just get it done and keep on moving.  

Today we continue with no boss but it’s been a little busier.  The person who is on-call for my team fell asleep at the switch or was otherwise absent.  We had an event and myself and another team member had to step in and take care of it.  We were both waiting for the on-call person to act but since that didn’t happen we had to step in because a member of management interjected himself.  I took the simple approach and cut through the red tape.  My boss might not be 100% happy because I didn’t screw around to try to find the root cause, I just took the easy out and the job got done.  It’s like seeing a person who stopped breathing, he (my boss) would want to find out their life history before he rendered any kind of aid or even called for help, and by then it’s too late.  Call for help and start CPR or they won’t have any chance of coming back.  You can find out their life story after the fact. 

The fun at work continues as I have to run a conference call this afternoon because the boss is out.  I never look forward to this because he always leaves me with a huge mess, which I cleaned up yesterday.  I will get through it but that doesn’t mean that I enjoy it.  He always seems to make sure that when he is off it’s on a Tuesday so that I am required to run the call. 

It does seem to me that one of my life’s purposes is to clean up messes.  I am always cleaning up some mess that someone else made be it a former co-worker, a present co-worker, my boss, the cat or someone else.  I am pretty good at it but it doesn’t mean that I enjoy it.  It’s quite frustrating and gets very old, very fast. 

On another note, the local police are actually telling people not to leave their car remotes and/or keys in their cars because that’s how cars get stolen.  I can’t actually believe people are dumb enough to leave the remote and/or keys in the car.  This isn’t the 1950’s where you can trust everyone and don’t need a lock for your front door.  I think if you are dumb enough to leave the keys and/or remote in the car then you deserve what you get.  Stupidity isn’t something I deal with well either.  Fun fact is that most people leave their keys and/or car remotes in the room closest to the door.  They are on a shelf, in a bowl or on a table.  Most thieves know this and if they can breach the door they can easily get the car.  I saw that in a TV show and the first thing I did was move my remote.  My vehicle is parked in a closed garage but more often than not the doors are still locked just because.  If your hell bent on stealing what I drive, then you have to work for it, I don’t make it easy and neither should anyone else. 

I wish that Spring would get here and stay.  The temperatures have been really more like Winter at night time and it’s been blustery during the day as well.  However, the grass is still growing and things are still in bloom.  I don’t want Summer quite yet but something where it’s just comfortable (not too hot and not too cold) would be nice. 

Looking forward to what I hope is a quiet afternoon so that I can enjoy what will be left of the last day with the boss not around.  He’s back tomorrow but at least we only have to deal with him for 3 days. 

Finally, Gator seems to be as normal as she gets.  Her appetite has picked up during the day where it seems for the first few hours of the day she wants food every hour or two.  She expects lunch and then slows down – sleeping the rest of the afternoon.  She wakes up in time for supper and then the cycle starts up again until it’s time for bed.  She let’s me sleep until she can’t take it anymore and then wakes me up.  Last night it was 5a which was pretty good.  Then she is good until I get up at 7a.  I am going to spend the rest of the week working from home, unless something else dictates that I go in.  At the moment, I plan to resume going back in (my one day a week) next week.  It’s good for me mentally and physically. I don’t like being away from her but she does manage.  Last week she thought I was here when I was at work and she kept crying for me.  When I see that it rips at me.  She still begs for me to feed her on the couch when I can and I give in, mostly in the evening.  Just hearing her eat she sounds like the Tasmanian Devil and she can’t seem to pack it away fast enough.  Sometimes I get a lick on my finger or hand, just as long as she doesn’t bite were all good.  If I could bring her water fountain to her, she would make me do that.  She’s got it good here and she knows it!  I’m pleased with how things are progressing at the moment but still guarded and watchful.

Happy Tuesday.  I hope that all is well.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Easter Sunday

I was permitted to sleep in a bit this morning, but I was also woken up at 5a to feed her majesty.  I enjoyed my sugar filled breakfast which was 3 pancakes & sausages on a stick with blueberry syrup and a warm chocolate chip cookie.  Washed it all down with a nice ice cold Diet Pepsi.  I am typically a Coke fan but wanted to switch it up. 

I did my house cleaning and was able to get Gator’s couch bed cleaned.  That is where she spends the bulk of her time and it was full of fur and dried up food bits.  Now I need to trim her talons, the rear ones are the worst.  I’ve never been one to trim a cats rear claws but those are the ones she usually gets me with. 

Got my recliner lubricated up with some garage 3in1 oil to keep it gliding smooth.  I also cleaned the chair its self.  When Gator isn’t in one of her beds she is in my lap in this chair.  The poor thing (chair) has served its purpose and was a birthday gift at least 20 years ago.  However, it’s still comfy and working.  The cushion part is a bit worn and if that could be refreshed I’d keep this forever.  Right now I just add a blanket to it and it’s good enough for us. 

Cleaned Gator’s fountain.  Had to put it in the dishwasher because it looked like there was something growing in the water and I didn’t want to take any chances.  I was permitted to take a short nap but when she discovered she had to drink out of a bowl she was sure to wake me up, she wanted her fountain back.  Funny how they get used to things. 

Cleaned my jewelry.  Thought I would change a watch battery.  I did a good job on that until it was time to put the damn watch back together.  The back just snaps on but it would pop on one side, while the other side was sticking up.  I tried to use the handle of a butcher knife to act as a hammer and lightly tapped but that didn’t do anything.  I lightly lubricated around the edge with some oil and that didn’t work.  I got a hammer and tried and tried.  Eventually I gave up and smashed it to bits, took out the battery and threw the damn thing in the trash.  It was a cheap watch I got a couple years ago on Amazon and didn’t mean that much to me.  It was frustrating as hell and while I could have taken it some place to get it put back together I wouldn’t have gotten the satisfaction I achieved by smashing the damn thing to bits. 

I’ve got two other watches.  One is a cheap watch I got from Amazon and the other is my good watch.  They both use a special notched screw tool to remove the back.  I could purchase one from Amazon but it’s just as easy to go some place and let a pro do the battery change.  My good watch is still ticking but the cheap one needs a battery or two.  That will be on my to-do list but I am not in a rush.  I typically don’t wear a watch.  I used to for the longest time but got out of the habit.  I really want an Apple Watch but won’t buy one because I think it would probably sit idle most of the time, plus if I broke it I would be seriously upset. 

Working on laundry.  Clothes are done.  Bed clothes are done.  Got some hand towels in now and when they are dry that is when I will be headed up stairs.  I’ve been up and down stairs off and on all day long just for a few moments to deal with laundry.  I am also running some cleaner through the dishwasher.  Trash has been emptied. 

I need to run the massager over my back again, it’s still bothering me.  I got to do that and ice it last night for a bit.  I plan to repeat the process tonight.  Plus I am going to shave and since the bed is clean a nice hot shower should help me to relax and sleep well. 

Monday morning will be here before you know it.  Looking forward to eating my holiday meal from the store for supper and taking in my tech podcast.  That goes from 4 until 7 or 7:30p at the latest.  Then I need to pass time until 8p and that is when I start the wind down process.  It takes roughly about a 1/2 hour to shave & shower, then it’s sleeping pill time, brush my tooth's and viola were done.  Just watch TV until I get sleepy and then it’s lights out. 

It’s been a nice day that I have been able to move at my own pace and don’t feel rushed.  I still am chained to my phone in case anything should pop at work but I don’t anticipate many people are doing much considering the holiday.  Although my neighbor did mow his yard.  Other than that it’s been quiet here and I like it very much. 

Hope your having a great day and are able to relax.  Hang in there as we take on another week.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Cross it all off the list

While I didn’t sleep the greatest Friday night, it was only because of the usual up with the hungry cat.  I had problems falling back to sleep, she sat in my lap as I watched TV.  She fell asleep and was quite comfortable.  Eventually she woke up and wanted down and that was my excuse to go back to bed.  It was time. 

Saturday morning was not the greatest but I managed to get up at a decent hour.  I fed her majesty and then climbed into the shower.  Man that felt really good.  I’ve got a large knot under each of my shoulders and the hot water helped a bit.  I got dressed and headed out.  First stop Cracker Barrel.  This was a better experience than last time but this time I got runny eggs.  I didn’t bother to complain in person, just ate what I could and paid my bill.  I am not going back for a while, they need to get their act together.  I voiced my concerns on-line. 

After my breakfast it was on to the grocery store.  Once again they didn’t have a couple of the items that I wanted the most.  One of which was Quaker Oatmeal Bars.  Those things were so damn good, gave me a sustained energy boost to make it through the morning and I wanted them but it appears they no longer carry them.  The other item was Pancakes on a stick, but I got that at Sam’s later in the day. 

From the grocery store on to the vet’s office to pick up medicine for Gator.  Everyone marvels at her full name and while I’d love to take credit for it, my late spouse is the one who named her.  Her name fits her to a T.  I told them the story about how I took in her mother, she had 4 kids and we were supposed to be giving them away, as I returned home one day from work, my late spouse introduced me to all of them.  He gave them names while I was away and we still had plans to give 2 of them away but as the rule goes, once you name them they are yours.  People love that story as well. 

Headed home to unload and take a load off for a while.  I tried to nap but Gator only left me alone for so long and then she started.  I took that as a queue to get my ass in gear.  I fed her again and headed back out. 

Hit up the post office, human pharmacy, pet food store, office supply store and last but not least Sam’s Club.  Holy cow I dropped some serious money all in one day and I wasn’t done just yet.  However, that is where the bulk of my money went.  I went home to unload and put all of that away.  Then you guessed it I rested for a bit again, but no napping.  I watched a tech radio show that has live video, it’s part of my normal weekend routine. 

I saw a different type of people today, I figured everyone would be in a rush and places would be packed.  The only two places that had decent size crowds were the grocery store and Sam’s. 

I was on social media.  The weekends are when the bulk of the porn/sexual content posts pick up.  Holy cow I have been all horned up.  I saw a video that really was more of a marketing ploy about a new toy.  I of course fell for that and placed an order.  It should be here in two weeks and I hope it brings me as much pleasure as I think it will. 

I had a difficult time deciding on what I should have for supper, I knew that I needed to go out but wasn’t set on where.  I browsed around and then I decided to hit up a local Mexican place.  I used to go there all the time and would always run into the cutest guys.  That didn’t happen today.  The food was okay but not the best.  It did it’s job in filling me up so that is a good thing.  I also stopped for a car wash, it was past time.  That place always leaves spots on my rear window and I found not all of the dirt came off my vehicle.  I filed a complaint on-line, for the money I spent I expected better.  Were limited in my area with only a small number of places that wash cars and the prices are insane – all automatic.  I miss the days of being able to power wash it yourself but I don’t miss feeding a machine quarters all the time.  I do feel that I got a better wash when I was involved in the process. 

I sat with Gator for a bit when I came home.  I passed out some food to her, she expected to be hand fed.  I told her if she wanted it she had to get up and eat it.  She waited until I wasn’t looking to nibble a bit and then climbed back up on the couch.  I never saw her eat but looking at the plate on the floor gave it away.  I was also surprised to find that she is back to using 2 litter boxes, one for each function.  The #2 litter box had a full normal deposit.  I was really happy to see that.  I pray it continues but that her hunger pains slow a bit in the evening. 

I’ve got plenty of food to feed her plus one or two more cats, so it’s not like she is going to run out.  However, the flavors are limited because of the supply chain.  Gone is chicken and the shrimp she liked.  They will come back eventually but I wish I had them now to keep her even happier than she is already. 

When I am done here I am headed up to run the massager on my back to see if I can’t break up these knots.  Then medicate the Gator and myself, watch TV and eventually fall asleep.  Sunday will be a day spent at home.  If my body, my phone and my cat all permit me to I’d like to sleep in a bit.  Then tend to Laundry, cleaning and my least favorite task putting out pills for myself.  I’ve got a holiday Ham meal from the store that I plan to nuke for supper and then watch TV and prepare for whatever Monday has to offer me.  Thus far I have no plans to go in this week, but that’s not 100% for sure.  I could waiver later in the week. 

Phew I made it through the day and accomplished everything that I had planned.  That makes me feel really good, not to mention that today is the first time in a long time that I exceeded my step goal.  Normally when I go into work I get about 50% of it in, the rest of the week it’s 20% on average.  The goal is 3,000 steps.  I figure the more I walk the thinner I will be and I felt like it was working but not so much anymore because of the way I eat. 

Hope you had a great day.  If you celebrate a holiday (Easter, Passover, etc.) I hope that it is a great one.  It’s just another day for me but being alone on a holiday doesn’t ever make me feel good.  I am happy that I have what I do and that I have made it this far, when many times tomorrow and the future seemed impossible to foresee.  Take care!

Movie Review - Rescued by Ruby (Netflix)

This movie is available now on Netflix.  It’s rated G and in case your like me and don’t like to see animals die in movies, the dog does not die.  I was talking with a friend and he told me about a website that you can look up to see if the animal dies at https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ they track several other items as well, very interesting site. 

I watched this movie on Friday night to help pass time.  It’s been on my list for a couple weeks and there were some sad moments but I never shed one tear or felt like crying.  It has a very happy and unsuspecting ending.  It is a true story that took place and if you take the time to watch the movie stay for the credits.  There are outtakes that make it that much more enjoyable. 

This movie made me miss most every dog that I have ever had.  They were all childhood pets.  I’ve never owned a dog as an adult.  If I owned one today chances are I would probably be a little bit thinner since you have to walk them.  However, I am perfectly content with my elderly cat. 

At the end of the movie there is a song that played.  I caught one of the lines that said “Don’t be your Kryptonite”.  That resonated with me.  Often we are our own worst enemy and internalize things or if your like me talk your self into or more likely out of something that is enjoyable or a new experience. 

I walked away from this movie with a smile on my face and it was time well spent.  The song I referenced is below in case you want to check that out. 

Tired

I was asleep by 10p but Gator had me up at 12:30a.  She was hungry but didn’t really care much for what I put out for her, not a good sign.  I had to have some sugar and watch some TV before I was able to pass out again that was like 2a.  As soon as I got in bed she started up again with this hungry business.  I hated to do it but I walked her out of my room and closed the door.  I needed sleep.  I woke up a few hours later, used the bathroom and came right back to bed. 

Needless to say when I opened my door this morning she was waiting for me and crying/yelling at me.  I put down some more food for her and same thing again she ate a little bit but wasn’t terribly interested.  She drank some water and then she went to bed. 

With the boss man being out today I figured this would be a cool and easy Friday.  Wow it started off at 60mph and we were doing 120mph before long.  It was a crazy busy couple of hours.  Finally I got a phone call that caused me to break my concentration and things just slowed at a rapid pace I didn’t care much about anything.  It was time to walk away for a break.  Just then Gator started up with snack time.  After my call which didn’t last long I headed up. 

This time I put down some Chicken which is one of her favorites.  She did a good job of trying to clear the plate.  No water and back to bed.  I was able to pet her and scratch her a bit.  She seems okay.  Her not wanting to scarf up whatever is put down is new and unusual for her.  I am keeping my eye on her to see where this goes.  It might be time to increase the medication but as difficult as it is for me I am using some restraint and patience.  Her system is working it’s way back to normal from earlier in the week.  I just need to make sure that she stays hydrated.  She really wants me to put down a can of what is mostly gravy but I want her to eat the meat as well, that is where the nutrition is, so it’s kind of a balancing act.  I’ve been through it all with cats and no doubt this too shall pass.  It’s just extra scary for me because I am hypersensitive because she is my last one and I fear of her passing, which I know eventually will happen.  Whenever that time comes I know from experience I will not be ready and it matters not if it is my decision or natures decision.  So long as while she is here with me she is well taken care of and not in any pain or discomfort and living her best life for an old cat that is what matters most. 

I am probably going up for a while to catch a nap with her and then check into some lunch for me.  Unless there is some emergency I am caught up at work and don’t really have anything to do until late this afternoon. 

I dread tomorrow trying to pack two days worth of running errands into one day.  I’ve done it before but this time I added Sam’s to the list and not exactly sure if that will happen.  I need soda and it’s super expensive at the grocery store.  Sam’s is so much cheaper and of course I will want some bakery items, again Sam’s is cheaper but the grocery store is so convenient.  It’s just a simple matter of money and how much I really want to part with.  That will depend upon a lot of things such as mood and timing.  A good nights sleep will go a long way in helping me to accomplish all that I have on the agenda tomorrow.  Hopefully, I will be able to relax my worry about the cat a bit that too will help. 

Sunday will probably be the day I catch up on cleaning & laundry.  Don’t have plans to go anywhere and it doesn’t sound like I am getting an invite to my friends place, which is perfectly okay just as long as I have enough food to eat and I think I will be able to accomplish that.

Here’s hoping that you have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.  Take care. 

Safe

The severe weather threat did in fact pass us by yesterday afternoon.  It has been a very wet 24 hours but thankfully nothing bad from weather happened.  It seems the closer we get to summer the colder the temperatures.  It was down pretty low last night but today is a day full of sunshine and more normal temperatures. 

Gator appears to be back to normal.  I still have my watchful eye on her.  I called the vet for her refill.  I plan to pick it up on Saturday when I am trying to cram two days worth of errands into one because most everything is closed on Sunday due to Easter.  Saturday will be an early rising day but at least I can sleep in on Sunday, that is if my body lets me. 

Calm is the sea at work but it doesn’t take terribly long for it to get busy again.  I don’t know about everyone else but I am really excited that my boss will be gone for a few days.  Peace & Quiet the best way to work and we can skip all of the BS meetings.  It will be over before I know it but I will try to enjoy it while it lasts. 

I took a spin through the Google Analytics page of my blog.  It’s amazing and flattering to see how far and wide people come to read my blathering. 

Last night I watched Judge Steve Harvey.  I always get enjoyment from watching Steve no matter what he is in, he brings the humor with him.  The first case last night was about Childhood best friends argue over one not honoring to fulfill their end of a lost bet.  The guy (young man) that brought the suit is really a looker.  The entire show was great but the first case was the best in my opinion.  From there I moved on to 9-1-1 and after that it was time to wind down and prepare for today. 

I woke up at 2a worried about Gator and checked on her, of course she was fine.  I was up until 4a before I could go back to sleep.  Gator joined me in my room around 3a and we were watching YouTube videos.  Quite interesting the content you can find that will lull me to sleep.  Eventually she wanted to get up and I took that opportunity to return to bed.  She got in her bed and out I went.  She of course left me and returned to the couch.  I think she stays with me until I start snoring just to humor me or because she really wants to but the snoring probably wakes her up.  She was waiting for me all bright eyed and hungry when I got up for good this morning.  I love waking up to see her smiling face, that’s the best part of everyday. 

Hope that all is well in your neck of the woods.  My afternoon is full of meetings and then I have to work on getting the trash out.  After that figure out what is for dinner and hopefully I can relax a bit before I go to bed and have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow, but at least it will be Friday.  Take care and I will talk with you again soon.  Be well. 

Quick Update

Gator went again and has some diarrhea.  I gave her some fluids and she has been eating and napping this afternoon.  I think for now I am going to let things be, it seems her body is moving but it’s moving at it’s own pace and not my pace.  I feel bad because I reacted so quickly but I figured she was stopped up. 

Just as sure as the sun will rise again, I know there will be a next time.  I will be a little more cautious and try not to act so quickly as things may work out on their own.  I just know that what I have been seeing is less than normal for her and that is why I acted.  Trying to be a good pet parent is exhausting and once you get on the emotional rollercoaster that is when things tend to spin out of control for me.  It’s tough to stay calm or to do nothing.  I want her to be as normal as possible and to be free.  I tell her all the time it’s her house, I just pay the bills. 

The weather appears to have passed by and nothing horrendous thus far.  Still have to make it through the evening but from the way the weather folks were talking at lunch time this might all be a done deal.  That would be nice so that I can relax a bit. 

Work has been a wave of busy and calm all day.  I also signed up to help out a colleague with their on-call so I will be on again next Friday thru the weekend.  Nothing usually happens but when I do a kind deed for most anyone, I always seem to get punished in some form. 

Still hope that things are well in your world.  Talk with you all again soon, be well!

Stormy Weather

Today is supposed to be quite the weather day for us.  Everyone is on edge since we had a Tornado in the area back in December.  Of course it’s all supposed to hit later this afternoon and evening.  I hope that it is a non-event and there is no damage and this turns out to just be some violent storms.  I suppose it’s wait and see.  Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome. 

We had a fire drill scheduled for today at the office and they want to do it now next Tuesday.  I don’t know that I will be going in at all next week.  My boss is taking a few days off and I don’t think anyone will really miss me.  I mean Monday I took 3 phone calls and that is the most my desk phone has rang in 2 years.  Most of my communicating is done via email and that seems to get the job done.  While I look forward to going in and it helps with my mood/depression skipping a week might not be the worst thing.  Especially given how Gator is doing.  More on that in the next paragraph. 

Gator was struggling this morning with eliminating, I can tell that she isn’t having a full bowel movement and thus she got some more laxative this morning.  I find that I sprinkle it on a gravy based food and mix it with a spoon, she never knows it’s there and eats it right up.  She is still eating like a horse and drinking which are good things, as well as seeking me out for attention.  I need to get more steroids for her.  I am starting to question how much longer I will be able to stave off the dreaded vet visit.  If this is a continuing theme as I suspect it will be I believe we will be seeing the vet sooner rather than later.  I am reluctant to go because my fear is bad news.  Then again last time we went in for her big visit last year and they did the major workup I figured I would loose her then and she is still here.  Maybe I will have the same luck twice and they will just up her steroid or add in some different medicine.  I know that by waiting I could be causing more harm but I also don’t want to go just because she has a hangnail.  She seems otherwise happy but I do see a huge difference in her mood when she has a full elimination, you can see the extra happiness on her face.  She appears to be well hydrated but I will likely give her some fluids which certainly can’t hurt anything.  The odd thing is that you’d think if there was a major issue that her appetite would go south, as that has been the case with all of my other cats when there was a problem.  I am not looking for any trouble but it always seems to find me.  I don’t want to part ways with her at all but I know that each day is a blessing and also a curse as it is one day less that we have together.  I’m trying my best to enjoy our time together and keep her comfortable & satisfied which isn’t always an easy task since cats by nature are picky.  The whole supply chain issue with her food doesn’t exactly help things.

I hope that your having a great day and hey we made it to the half way point.  Just a couple more days to go and we will be at the weekend.  Talk with you all again soon.  

Serious Anger

Last night I was emptying my DVR of content to both free up space and help to pass time.  I watched 20/20 from last Friday which was entitled Death By Text.  It’s the story of Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy.  Both young adults.  Conrad had some mental problems and suicidal ideations.  He shared those with Michelle a girl that he was texting.  Michelle starts encouraging Conrad to act on his thoughts.  He overdosed one time but did it around family (I believe) they called for help and he was saved with medical assistance. 

The second time he tried was from the idea that he got from Michelle.  He borrowed a pump of some kind that was powered by a gasoline engine.  He drove to an empty K-Mart parking lot and in his pickup truck he started the engine of the pump.  He eventually succumbed to carbon monoxide and died.  He was found the next day by local law enforcement when his mother reported him missing.

Conrad had promised to delete all of the text message conversations between himself and Michelle but thankfully he didn’t.  He was also smart enough and thoughtful to leave behind his password(s).  The police discovered the messages when they looked at his phone and then they start digging further, they eventually get a search warrant for her (Michelle’s) phone and find the real damming piece of evidence.  She texted a friend explaining that she could have stopped Conrad from taking his own life.  He got out of the truck at one point but she told him to get back in and he did.  This turned from what on the surface looked like a simple suicide into a homicide. 

It took a couple years to make its way through the court system and her attorneys did a good job of trying to keep it from going to trial but they failed (thank God).  She had her day in court, waived a jury trial and instead let a judge make the final decision.  After the trial was done it took the judge 3 days to reach a verdict.  He starts out in his speech and it sounds like she is going to get off and then he switches course and she is found guilty of manslaughter.  She got in my opinion a very light sentence.  Two and a half years in prison with credit for 15 months served and the rest suspended, along with 5 years of probation.  Wow!  She took a human’s life, a young man who had so much to live for and she basically walked away with a light slap on the wrist.  There was no justice here but that is my opinion. 

If you watch the show you will see a good portion of the text message exchanges which were appalling.  She (Michelle) forced him into this I think because she got tired of hearing him whine about it.  Just get it over with, everyone will understand and move on.  She even went so far as to make contact with various family members after it happened and it wasn’t until the police dropped the bomb shell that she was involved that the pieces started coming together for the family.  They were horrified and understandably so. 

Conrad was a very good looking young man.  He graduated High School, got his Capitan’s License to pilot a boat and had lots of opportunity staring him in the face.  He had his demons but his mistake was being open and honest with Michelle a girl/friend that he had.  Instead of opening up to a true friend who would have steered him towards help.  I really wished that  someone could have changed things for this young man.  This truly is a very sad story.   

This story has also been made into a Hulu series called The Girl from Plainville.  Here’s a link to a media story about all of this … https://www.masslive.com/news/2022/04/conrad-roys-family-speak-out-on-abcs-2020-about-michelle-carter-texting-suicide-case-hulus-the-girl-from-plainville.html 

Something I learned a long time ago is that if someone says they are going to kill themselves, take them seriously 100% of the time, don’t treat it as a joke or humor.  If you do ignore it or pass it off as humor you likely will be regretful the rest of your life. 

I was seriously angry and shouting at the TV.  This was wrong in every sense of the word and is something that should have never happened.  I don’t know what kind of demented person hears a cry for help and encourages the person crying to take their own life.  It matters not who’s idea it was.  It matters that it was suggested as a solution. 

A former therapist of mine told me that Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I get the appeal of wanting to drop out of life, I’ve been there a number of times myself.  You can’t see the trees for the forest your in.  You aren’t thinking clearly and your mind races to find a solution.  It’s a very dangerous, scary and lonely place to be.  Regardless of whatever the problem is you are not the lone ranger, meaning that you aren’t the only person in the world who has faced this problem (what ever it may be).   

There is help available regardless of your age.  Life is not an easy journey to navigate all the time and talking with someone does help and often times puts things into a different perspective.

800-273-8255 – This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  You can call or text them 24/7/365.  It’s available in English or Spanish. 

866.488.7386 – This is the number for the Trevor Project.  They specialize in helping LGBT youth.  You can call that number or if you prefer to text, send START to 678-678.  Just like the above number I believe this operates 24/7/365.  

I am by no means an expert when it comes to mental health.  I’ve had and continue to have my struggles.  Talking and medication is what has helped me the most.  Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, it doesn’t mean or make you less of a person.  I think it actually makes you stronger for realizing that you need help and are asking for it.

Okay, now I will step down off my soap box.  I just don’t know how anyone can see or hear this story and not be upset or angry.  Talk with you all again soon.   

Nothing much

I made it in for “the meeting” that was scheduled.  It was really nothing at all.  I got the feedback that we are on a permanent 3 day a week schedule, which is kind of good.  There was a rumor that we were going back to 2 days per week but as of now that is nothing more than a rumor and no one in management knows anything about it. 

It’s slow for a Monday and that will likely work out well for me when I leave at 4p so I won’t have anything to deal with when I get home.  Although I have to check on a door system.  Easy enough.  Last time I told everyone that I was leaving early, something came in and everyone said they would pick up the slack while I was away but what came in was left waiting for me.  I see no reason to broadcast my availability if no one is going to pick up the slack.  I know that is a poor team player attitude but whatever. 

It’s that time of year where we preform a self review of how we have done over the past year.  I always fill this silly forms out the same way modifying a work here or there.  Now we wait until next month when I have a review with my manager on his thoughts.  Then in June sometime I will get to know how much of a pay increase I get.  I finished up my review today just to get it out of the way. 

Gator was not interested in the big can of food that I put out for her this morning.  I had to open a second can and let her eat it from bed.  When she was done I put it back on the floor and told her that I was leaving and that I would see her tonight.  I have watched her on the camera off and on, she has clearly forgotten that I left the house.  She is at the top of the stairs crying for food.  I guess she will be very interested in whatever it is I put out for her when I get home.  It may even scare the pants off of her when I walk in the door.  I do feel bad that she forgot.  Her mental facilities are off because of her age and it’s a tough thing to watch in a person or in an animal.  On the upside she will have me around for the rest of the week (barring any emergencies) and I am sure she will be very pleased about that.

I can tell it’s the afternoon here in the office because the AC just kicked on and it’s down to 70 degrees.  I am in short sleeves but ready to throw on the jacket I wore in.  It was a bit nippy and windy when I left this morning, plus it was pouring rain.  You’d think that would mean a horrible commute but it was really pretty good.  I hope that I have the same luck on the way home regardless of how the weather is. 

Happy Monday!  Talk with you all again soon. 

Cleaned Out

I woke up this morning and found that the laxative that I gave Gator did it’s job.  She went twice, once in each litter box and it was more like normal than what she has been producing.  She seemed a bit chipper this morning and I can only presume that it’s because she felt much better.  She is eating like a champ.  We hung out a bit this morning while I was killing time waiting for the pharmacy to open.  It was nice.  This afternoon I did something to her that I have never ever attempted to do with another cat.  I vacuumed her.  She saw me cleaning up and the vacuum cleaner always puts her on edge but she was rather interested when I started cleaning her steps.  I just tried it and it worked.  I don’t know that I will get that lucky again but it was fun for me and I think she may have enjoyed it.  I really needed to clean her bed but since she was in it that was not possible to clean.  Of course I take out the trash and when I come back in she has moved and her bed is wide open.  I didn’t feel very motivated to continue my cleaning quest. 

Not exactly sure why but I woke up this morning and it felt like I really did some serious workout, all I did was lay around yesterday, do the normal errands and then stopped for pizza.  Not sure why my body feels like I painted the garage but I I can only hope that I feel better tomorrow morning, despite getting up early and going in. 

I wasn’t terribly happy at the grocery store.  They didn’t have pancakes on a stick this week, last week there was an overwhelming supply.  This week no sign of them.  I also looked for my Oatmeal bars but they didn’t have those either.  Stockers were in my way most every isle I went down.  I hate that.  I just want to move about, get what I need and then get out of the store.  They still managed to get me for almost $100.  I dropped another $30 at the gas pump.  I don’t put in extra gas, when the pump shuts off that I when I am done.  I managed to some how get gas all over my jeans and my hands, there was some left over in the nozzle which didn’t make me happy. 

I threw the laundry in the dryer before I started this post and I am waiting on it before I go up.  I plan to have some pizza and a soda for supper, maybe some of the left over lemon cake or perhaps a little bit of ice cream and that will be it for the night.  Pack my lunch and put the wheels in motion for getting up early.  Watch my favorite tech podcast and then SNL and whatever else is on the DVR and perhaps some porn, kind of depends upon how I feel. 

Speaking of porn I came across a new hunk that I very much enjoy.  He was on Only Fans as Lucas Cash but since he crossed over into doing work for studios professionally he now goes by the name Grant Ducati.  I love the way he smiles both during sex and when he is at the climax point.  His body is very nice.  I’d happily trade my body for his any day of the week, even though he is a bit shorter than me.  He’s got a couple of scenes out for a couple different studios and I can only imagine that there will be more in his future. 

In case your wondering about The Mouse it is still MIA and none of the traps have caught anything.  I do think it’s gone.  Not sure if it was the glue trap that it almost got caught in or the fact that Gator has been a bit more vocal than normal but I think it got the picture and left.  I still have the traps out and in place.  I need to muster up some courage when my body feels better and go get on a ladder and take a look in the attic.  There is also repellant you can spray and/or scatter both in and outside of your property that will keep mice away.  I do plan on getting some of that and putting it out, even though I do believe I shutdown their entrance & exit.  I will also be out looking for more.  If this mouse left he clearly went out a different way. 

That’s about as much fun as life is for me right now.  I will be glad when next week is over.  I have to remind myself to get to the grocery store next Saturday because they are all closed on Sunday since it will be Easter.  My friends should also be reaching out to me to invite me over for Easter dinner but if I don’t hear from them it won’t be a surprise.  It’s not a major holiday in my book but it would be a nice different way to spend a Sunday afternoon. 

Take care, be safe and well.  Talk with you all again soon. 

So Much Security

With cybercrime on the rise and many insurance companies raising rates or in some cases stopping cyber insurance, things in business have changed.  My employer has kicked things up a notch but we have one egg head in charge that is trying to lock down everything he possibly can.  That is going to frustrate people and I am sure that I along with others will get to field the complaints.  Right now we are testing locking down laptops so that no matter where you are when you sign on and enter your password you will also have to authenticate with 2FA (Two Factor Authentication aka Multi-Factor Authentication).  It’s a pop up on your phone that you either approve or deny.  What they don’t know is when your laptop goes to sleep and wakes up, you have to repeat the process.  So let’s say you leave your desk to go to a meeting or step out for a bite to eat.  When you come back your machine will be asleep and when you wake it up and login your prompted not only for your password but 2FA.  I got this wonderful enhancement on my company laptop on Friday.  It’s a huge inconvenience, I get the security posture but at the same time were not exactly Fort Knox.  If you want to connect to the network and you are not physically in an office 2FA has always been required for at least the last 4 + years.  That’s why I say it’s over kill. 

As if the above isn’t bad enough if you work with servers as I do, if you aren’t active on the server for 15 minutes the screen locks.  You are forced to put in your password and 2FA.  That is a real pain in the ass, especially when you get no notice that they let someone go and your scrambling to try to get their account shutdown or to create an account for a last minute person that was just hired.  I’ve tried to circumvent this with PowerShell Scripts but no luck.  I know there are plenty of utilities that will do this for you but I can’t install software without tripping an alarm.  A PowerShell Script is my only option short of editing the GPO (Group Policy Object) that is what is enforcing this.  I am sure if I alter the GPO that will set off alarms.  The idea is to circumvent the system without tipping anyone off.  I’ve got a colleague working to try to help me so perhaps between the two of us we will be able to accomplish this. 

Enough about work and more about me and my furry girl (cat).  I had a rough night because the cat knows when the weekend is here.  She woke me up three or four times and she wanted food.  I obliged her and she was thankful or at least her stomach was, until the next calling for food.  For the most part she only uses 1 of the 2 litter boxes I have for her.  I thought we were back to the BM problem again because I didn’t see any deposit in the main litter box, I looked in the second box but didn’t see anything there either.  She doesn’t cover things up but this time she did.  I didn’t know that until this evening so she got a small dose of a laxative this morning.  Perhaps this will encourage her system to produce a bit more as what I scooped up was very minor.  I do think that her kidney disease has probably progressed some and is causing this problem.  I checked her hydration last night and it was spot on.  She is drinking plenty of water.  There is no shortage to her appetite and I can tell you all of what goes in doesn’t come out the same day or sometimes not the day after.  Parts come out but elimination is declining for her.  I know that were probably headed towards the direction of a vet visit but I am babying this along just because I know there probably won’t be great news when we do get to the vet.  This also could be her IBD acting up and she might need more of the steroid but that in turn will further aggravate the kidneys.  It’s kind of a no win situation and I get that I am on borrowed time with her age but I always finding myself wanting more when it looks like the clock might run out.  Please let me borrow some more time.  She is so fussy that she likes it when I feed her and she can stay in bed, she has come to expect this but I do not always have time for this.  Evening & Weekends are usually no problem but not mornings especially when they are weekday mornings.  Her behavior is still normal and she sleeps a lot but then again she is old.  She has started sun bathing again now that we get a decent amount of sunshine in the living room.  I just love to see her happy it makes my day.  That little girl is my world and life for sure will never be the same once she goes.  I am not super worried at this point but I do have an elevated concern and of course I do think & worry about her constantly, it’s just part of being a good owner. 

In other news I laid around most of today and got out this afternoon.  I made up my mind yesterday that I wanted pizza and I wanted to see the cute waiter so I had breakfast and then some snack crackers for lunch.  That took care of me until I made it to the restaurant.  I have never really had the opportunity to ask him out but today it was perfect there were hardly any people in the place when it was time to pay my bill.  I thought about it and decided against it.  I don’t want to make things weird, I really like the pizza and I do like him.  However, if I ask him and he declines because he isn’t interested or isn’t gay then it will be awkward to go back.  Now I can still admire him from a far and enjoy pizza.  It’s not quite as good as getting to know him.  Perhaps someday I may ask him but there is a really good chance that won’t happen and I will leave things as they are. 

After my experience last Sunday I don’t believe that I will be dining out for breakfast tomorrow.  I have plenty to eat here and I need to hit up the pharmacy inside the grocery store.  Problem is they don’t open as early as I like to shop and I don’t want to make two trips so I will have to delay my trip out.  Better to spend the time here at home with the fuzzy lady and relax. 

Speaking of her again, I always tell her I will be back up in a little while and then I get engrossed in the computer and it’s several hours later, she is either crying or waiting for me or both.  Right now I think she is waiting for me, so I am going to see her.  Time to pass out medicine for both of us and then get ready for bed.  Not much to watch on TV or Streaming Services that interest me but I am sure I will find something. 

I am supposed to be going in on Monday and I really don’t look forward to that.  Since the whole reason why I am going in is for an in person meeting and one of the people I am meeting with was sick last week.  I pray he doesn’t have COVID and still come in.  People are not doing a good job of staying home when they are sick and working from home, instead they come in and try to infect everyone.  I don’t need another bug or anytime off other than a holiday or scheduled PTO.  I do not want to get sick again that was no fun.  Fingers crossed it all goes well and I don’t pick up any germs.  There isn’t a Zoom option or I for sure would do that. 

Hope your enjoying the weekend.  Talk again soon, be well.