Not feeling it

I’ve got some work to take care of but before I jumped into that I thought I would take a couple minutes to bring you up to speed on my not so exciting life. 

Gator woke me up a couple times last night.  I think she is well aware that we are at the weekend and she can get away with it.  I fed her and went back to bed both times.  She was sleeping when I finally rolled out of bed this morning.  I actually woke her up and of course she didn’t like that.  It’s the same thing as sneaking up on her.  She got her breakfast (if that’s what you want to call the 3rd can of food past midnight). 

I consumed a Diet Pepsi and a Chocolate Muffin as my breakfast.  I know it’s not healthy, not good for my weight and on but hey I bought it and don’t want to just throw it away. 

I laid around, watched some Grace & Frankie which I started last night.  I managed to nod off during some of it.  Finally I had enough and just got out of bed.  I had to of course feed Gator again.  Then I got a light snack so that I wouldn’t pass out.  I grabbed a quick shower and got dressed, then off I went. 

Hit up the post office, made my trip to the cat food store.  I did buy some different cans of various brands of different food.  They were not cheap.  One call Reveal (I think the reveal is they robbed you of your cash) at $1.49 for a small can (same size as Fancy Feast) that was a bit much.  I grabbed a couple smaller bags of treats to serve as dry food.  Dry food by it’s self is super expensive, even for a small bag and I don’t really want to shell out a bunch of money for something that she may or may not eat.  Safer bet with small bags of treats, at least if she doesn’t eat them I won’t be out much.  They had even less than normal stock of Fancy Feast and most of the flavors that she likes were not on their shelves.  I am hopeful that I can find a few cans at the grocery store where they are $1 per can.  

I headed for the pizza place.  Been thinking about the hot waiter.  I still felt unsure but at least knew that I wanted to see his hot hunky body.  I walked in, he greeted me at the door, sat me, took my drink order.  He wasn’t my waiter though in fact he managed to get the afternoon off and was in the process of getting ready to leave.  I did have a couple of opportunities to make a move but opted to just sit quietly and say nothing.  I’d like to ask him but I still don’t exactly feel quite right about it.  I know by the worlds standards he is far too young for me.  I also realize there is a 50% chance he is straight and another possibility that even if he is gay or likes guys that I might not do anything for him.  He’s always so nice and polite, I know that’s part of him doing his job but perhaps I am reading too much in to it.  I have a tendency to do that. 

Had an okay pizza and headed for home.  Gave Gator one of those Reveal cans.  What I opened was Chicken and it looked like very white Chicken Worms.  I gave it to her and she started on it but was quick to walk away from it and ask for something else.  There goes my $1.49 down the drain.

We are under a Tornado Watch but just had some rain here and there.  Brief outbreaks of rain and then the sun comes right back out.  Nothing appears to be forecast for the night so unless something appears I should be able to sleep without being woken up by the weather radio or sirens.  That is much worse than being woken up by Gator and as you would expect they are much louder by design which gets the heart rate up. 

I am going to get my work done and then head back up, find something to watch, get the dishes done and then it will be back to bed.  My only planned outing tomorrow is to the grocery store, going to do breakfast at home but I am really missing going out for it.  Something about making the trip, seeing the people, spotting a hottie and consuming what normally is good food.  Not exactly sure when I will break and go back.  Breakfast options in an actual sit down and someone takes your order “restaurant” are limited here to Cracker Barrel and Denny’s for chain restaurants.  There is that new brunch place that started up but they don’t have much to offer that appeals to me.  Plus most places only have Maple syrup and I am allergic.  That contributes to the challenge of what to order and where I can go.  There is plenty of fast food breakfast but that doesn’t interest me much. 

Hoping for a quiet evening with my girl and that she continues to do reasonably well.  Her appetite is still up but not nearly where it was.  Plus she really loves the probiotic now, matters not what I put it on she will wolf it down.  I think if I could give her more than one dose of that per day she would have a fuller stomach and bug me less for food.  I still have plans to go in on Tuesday for now, but will make a final determination on Monday night. 

I hope that your enjoying the weekend and not dealing with any rain or severe weather in your neck of the woods.  Talk with you all again soon.  Be well and take care!

The Gator Report

Sounds like a hometown newspaper or a special segment you’d see in local media but alas it’s just an update on my sweet furry cat. 

Last night wasn’t horrible but not silent either.  First in the evening she decided she didn’t like the other two flavors of the new food, not sure what I will do about that.  Switched back to her normal food and she enjoyed a snack.  I finally got that knock on the door asking for money for the tree chopping that was done earlier in the week.  Got that out of the way and it didn’t bother Gator one bit, they even rang the doorbell which used to cause everyone to go hide but there was no reaction from her.  I did get one wakeup call at 4:30a which I tried but wasn’t successful at ignoring.  When she really serious it is all about being persistent and how close she can get to me without jumping into bed (because she no longer jumps).  Those small lungs sure are powerful things that is something she inherited from her mother, she too was small but loud when she needed to be. 

The litter boxes both had deposits which made me smile inside.  They were small but adding them up (mentally NOT physically) it appears to be normal. 

This morning when it was finally time for me to roll out of bed I had a bad dream it was about having to let her sister go but the circumstances were all different and my family was around, all of them told me that she was fine and that I was worked up over nothing.  Plus for some reason my brother had giant sized submarine sandwiches taking up a shelf in the fridge.  I knew they were for him but I still had some for myself, it was very good even if it was only a dream. 

Back to reality, as I walked out I saw Gator’s head facing downward and knew that she was passed out.  However, the position of her body was a bit awkward and when a cat falls asleep their breathing slows way down, you have to stare sometimes for a couple seconds to figure out if they are breathing or not.  Having black fur doesn’t exactly help that process.  Anyway, I was staring at her and I guess she felt that because she sprang to life and then started bitching at me for waking her up.  I got her calmed down and then passed out some breakfast.  Of course you know she waited in bed and cried for me to come feed her, which after taking care of myself I did.  She ate a decent amount and then it was back to sleep for her. 

I came down to start my day.  I got a crappy project dumped in my lap yesterday afternoon on my call with the boss.  He wants it done pretty fast and it was a lot of data gathering that wasn’t exactly easy but I’ve got all but the last part.  I am working with a vendor to get the last part and hopefully that will come together soon.  Once I was caught up and saw that it was after 9a I headed up.  Grabbed the trash barrel and then took a spin over to the UPS Store to drop off my returns that are going back to Amazon.  I walked in the house and Gator was all passed out but the alarm buzzing that it needed attention (i.e. to be shutoff before it went off) does tend to wake her and indeed it did. 

My day was essentially done, so I knew she wanted a snack and grabbed a can of the new food that she liked from yesterday and loaded it up with Forta-Flora but this time I put it on the plate first instead of sprinkling it over the top.  I’ve never seen a cat so suspicious and sniff so long before she decided it was good enough to eat.  After a couple of hesitant bites to sample it she began chomping away just like yesterday.  I did the whole plate rotation thing and she ate a bit more but saved a small portion.  Then she nodded off and woke up, time to eat a little more and then sleep more.  I actually think that she is in love with the probiotic and not the food, which is fine by me.  However, switching up her food is a priority for me even though I am going to need to go a bit slower than I want to.  Cats like people are resistant to change and it really upsets them, just the least little change like moving their food, litter box or a piece of furniture.  Stress affects them in different ways that can be drastic.  So welcome to boring groundhog day where most things remain the same, day after day.  As long as I have her and she is happy then that’s all I really need. 

Her water consumption increased to a more normal level and I topped off the fountain this morning.  I know that she likes to sit next to the fountain and as a result her fur gets soaked but I honestly think that she drinks most of it based on what I see in the litter box.  Wet cat is no fun and you typically can’t tell until it’s too late and you have her in your hands.  ICK. 

I came back down because I got one of those super secret emails that told me someone high profile was being let go this afternoon and my help was needed.  I am waiting for a name so that I can do some prep work but of course I probably won’t get that until were at the time the axe falls.  I’m giving it a few more minutes but if nothing comes I will head back up.  Of course just as I get comfy you and I both know that is when I will get the name and need to come back down. 

Friday’s should always be slow and mellow after what is usually a hectic work week.  However, that is not something that always happens.  Looks like the morning will drag on for a bit and then after lunch is when things will start jumping a bit.  That’s okay so long as they don’t get too wild. 

I could benefit from a nap but otherwise I am pretty content.  I feel like I am making some progress with Gator even though this is all a guessing game.  At this point I think that the issue is in her gut and affects food absorption.  I am not 100% convinced that she needs to be on prednisone but I am leaving that alone for now.  The probiotic does work to help control diarrhea and to restore gut health.  It costs about as much as a month of her pred.  However, the beauty of it is that I can just punch it up on Amazon and it comes, no need to ask for a refill and then go pick it up. 

Tomorrow I plan to walk around a bit more at the cat food store to explore options.  Her brothers liked this 3 meat stew that had reindeer in it but I don’t think it’s made or carried any longer.  One thing I am pretty certain of is that I am going to spend way more money than I do on a typical trip over.  Experimenting with cat food is expensive and I can’t believe the price some of those cans go for.  It’s almost as expensive as feeding another person.  I do hope to walk away with something that she really enjoys that will help aid in resolving the issue or at the very least give her some enjoyment.  I know she loves a can of food when she starts frequently licking her chops and that always brings a smile to my face.  You can just tell she is saying wow that was really, really good and I sure did enjoy it. 

Fingers crossed that our progress continues and wakeup calls will soon be a thing of the past.  Since we have rain in the forecast I have nothing really planned. 

Thinking highly about going to get a pizza so that I can look at a handsome waiter.  I’ve also given some more thought to asking him out but I think regardless of what he says it will forever change things and I could see it that I never went there again.  Of course I don’t know his answer until I ask and getting to that point is going to take some balls, which I do have but it has to feel right and the circumstances also have to be right.  I don’t want to do it if they are super busy and tons of people will hear me.  Then there is the delivery on what words to use.  Kind of funny how one obsesses about “what do I say” when it’s really much to do about nothing.  It’s either yes or no.  I do also think about the drastic age difference.  Even though most people tell me I do not look my age I don’t exactly look like I am in my 20’s and I know for a fact he is in his 20’s.  I mean I want to have my way with him and get him in bed – but first I want to be friends and get to know each other better then at some point we can move to the bedroom.  That is my plan each time I ask a guy out or go in search of a date, which hasn’t happened in over 2 years because of the pandemic.  Much like a woman only has so long to have children, I feel that my time clock is ticking and that the older I get the less any guy will want to go out with me, especially if my gut continues to grow and makes it look like I am with child. 

I hope you have an enjoyable and relaxing weekend.  Come back to find out how my weekend went and where things are with Gator.  Thanks for stopping by!  Take care.

Hiccups

Lunch was served to her majesty.  She enjoyed the new Blue Buffalo food with the initial dose of her probiotic Forta-Flora.  She inhaled the first can so fast that I thought she might accidentally try to ingest a finger or part of my hand.   No sooner than she was done with the first can she asked for a second can.  I apparently wasn’t fully wide awake when I placed my Amazon order at 4a this morning because I wound up with an over abundance of Fish & Shrimp flavor from Blue.  I gave her a can of that and she wasn’t quite as excited but did eat it.  Then it was time for a nap, off to sleep she went for a cat nap and then she was up and at the water fountain.  I sat by her at the table and watched her.  You’d see her stomach have a contraction and after a couple of those I figured out she had given herself the hiccups.  It was funny but also sad. 

I did my best to scare her since we didn’t do fluids last night I worked them in while she was at the fountain.  She hates getting stuck and I can’t say that I blame her, I am not a fan of it either.  She wiggled around and eventually towards the end of what was a quick dose managed to get the needle to fall out.  I was quick to get things shutdown but as per usual she made a small mess.  I am giving high consideration to getting an IV Pole that would make this process much easier. 

Come supper time my hope is that she gets her belly full of this new food and that it fills her up for much longer so that she doesn’t wind up waking me up during the night.  I will make sure to leave a can out for her before I try to retire for the night. 

I am passing time waiting for my next meeting which happens to be with da boss.  It’s just a touch point to see if either of us have anything we need to talk about.  It’s great to keep the lines of communication open but at the same time if I ever have a concern I don’t hold it for one of these meetings I reach out then and there.  This is his idea that he has taken from his boss and because his boss does it with him, he does it with us.  It’s kind of a useless meeting that typically only lasts 5 minutes or less because neither of us usually have anything to talk about.  He also loves to play with the timing moving it up or pushing it back – you can tell by his actions that its not really that important to him and just a mere formality sort of like every time we talk he manages to work in what a great job were all doing, which rings hollow with me.  It’s just a reflex for him and while he might be sincere again it doesn’t do anything for me other than drive up my blood pressure. 

The day is moving along after my meeting with him I don’t have anything to do until this evening and then my day will be done.  Tomorrow looks to be uneventful but Friday’s are fickle and you never quite know what will happen until the day gets here. 

So long for now, come back to find out the next adventure with Gator.  I am really hopeful that I can post some good news but also realize that this problem won’t be solved overnight but hopefully in a couple of days I should know something one way or the other.  Take care & be well. 

Here we go again

My break or success with Gator was short lived to one night.  Last night she was back at it again.  It wasn’t horrible and I did manage to get some sleep.  She got more active as we started towards morning.  4a she asked for food and then again at 4:30a.  I see a trend building regardless of time of day most times she is good with 1 can of food but more and more she asks for 2 and on rare occasions goes up to 3 cans in one sitting. 

I got to thinking about everything I have read and seen.  The next true step forward is an elimination diet where you feed an exotic protein for 6 weeks and nothing else to see if that will calm things down.  Oddly enough at 4a I found that you can get Kangaroo cat food on Amazon.  However, I didn’t order it.  If we have to go through this then I will save it for a bit later. 

My next step is to mix in a probiotic and I also got some Blue Buffalo cat food.  They are supposed to have less fillers and it’s supposed to be better for the cat.  I placed an Amazon order at 4a and it will all be here today by 3p.  They said same day and that is what hooked me.  With everything I ordered I only paid $2.12 I used a gift card I got from work yesterday along with reward points from my credit card.  I like it when I can make a purchase under circumstances like that where it costs me little to nothing, but those moments are so very rare in my life.  It just feels like a huge win. 

We did go back to a 1/2 tablet of pred. last night and she is consuming a more normal level of water.  She does seem a bit more interested in the water and likes to camp out longer than she normally has in the past.  She will stare into space and look around even change positions a couple times.  I’m wondering if there isn’t something cognitive going on with her that is slowly starting to manifest. 

I still have the sense that I am fighting a loosing battle and that in the end I am going to lose her be it to things getting worse with her health or that I will be backed into a corner where I have to make a decision to end her life.  Last week and even into early this week that sense was much greater right now it’s there but I don’t feel it so strongly.  I am a pessimist and tend to look at more negative than positive, especially when it comes to animals.  That doesn’t mean I don’t have hope it just means I don’t have an abundance of it. 

While this isn’t exactly the greatest set of circumstances, things can always be worse.  I still treat every day as a blessing with her because I do know that eventually time will run out as we all have expiration dates. 

Right now my hope is in the probiotic and the new food that it will cause a positive change over the course of the next couple days and if that is the case then I will stick with it.  If not then I will either need to go back to the vet (even though they have pretty much thrown up their hands) get a second opinion, try to stop the pred. to see if that clears up the ravenous appetite and/or try an elimination diet on my own.  Stay tuned as our journey continues to unfold.  I only hope that eventually I can get more rest during the night.  

I am a little tired today but there isn’t a whole lot going on for me until this afternoon and even then that is only for a couple hours.  Being able to work from home in a situation/circumstance like this is a true blessing.  I am thankful for that.

As you can well imagine my nerves have been on edge and my mental focus has primarily been on the cat as well as just making it through each day.  Last night I felt at ease and took in some porn to have a moment of pleasure.  It’s been days and wow it was intense as well as a much needed form of release.  I could use a good cry, a long nap and the biggest hug one can possibly get then I am fairly certain I would feel tons better.  As it is at the moment I don’t feel 1/2 bad but I don’t feel 100% either. 

Thanks for your visit, more as it unfolds.  For now I am watching for the Amazon person they have a couple trips to make to my house today.  I hope that you are or have had a great Thursday (depending upon when your reading this) and that all is well in your world.  Tomorrow is Friday again and then we have the weekend to look forward to.  Take care!

An update

I got a phone call at lunch from the original vet that saw us.  I gave her the latest update on what has transpired in the last 48 hours.  Her recommendation is to drop to a 1/2 tablet since that was originally working.  The whole reason why she is on Pred. to begin with was to combat diarrhea which she no longer has.  

They make drugs to increase appetite but not to decrease it in animals.  There are drugs they can give that cause nausea and diarrhea.  The hope is based on how things are progressing that this was all a parasite all along.  The only way to find out for sure is to take her off pred. which is something that would be done slowly over the course of a month.  That’s not a science experiment that I want to go through right now. 

I found out that her kidney disease is at Stage 2 out of 4 possible stages and 4 is the worst.  There hasn’t been a whole lot of change in the last 6 months with her lab values, the disease has progressed slightly but nothing significant. 

It would be great if this all comes to a pleasant conclusion and I can keep her for a few more years.  If things level off for a significant period of time then I may try the experiment to see if we can stop pred. I was also told that I can set out small amounts of dry food for her just before bed, that might also decrease her waking me up.  She has been off dry food for so long I don’t know if she will even want it but I will probably grab a small bag or some treats and find out.  

If this was due to a mouse or a bug that she ate, as long as she doesn’t consume any more then the drug I gave her last night will resolve this whole problem.  I can’t keep eyes on her 24/7 but I do as much as I possibly can.  I can’t imagine her wanting to even eat a mouse, her late sister for sure but not her. 

In other news, the Mophie battery pack I got yesterday won’t charge on the magnetic Mophie charger like the others I have had.  If you want it to charge you have to plug it in and that is clearly not how it is designed.  I opted to have Amazon send me a replacement, which should be here tomorrow.  I think I am going to get another oversized unit that I can’t use but I am crossing my fingers.  I’ve already got 1 package ready to go to the UPS store I am waiting to see how many more I will need to take, it will be at least 1 more for sure but hopefully not 2.  I wish that I could source this item locally because this merry go round that I have been on would have never even had a chance to get spinning. 

I am hoping that I have a nice quiet evening with my furry girl.  Get her some fluids and 1/2 a pill, then I can take a shower and call it a night.  That will be in a few more hours from now.  I am still very much on the clock and sticking next to my phone/email but unless something comes in I have nothing left to do at the moment. 

Have a great evening and come back again to find out how things went.  Here’s hoping that I can post more good news!

Next Steps

I got a call back in the early evening from the other vet I spoke about.  She had problems following my recap of the story and was quick to dismiss my concern about appetite chalking it up to the increased dose in pred.  Once I got her to understand my concern and we were both on the same page, she suggested a de-wormer.  That was music to my ears.  I agreed to that and went to pick it up.  She also said to stick with the higher dose of pred. for another week.  It was a very small amount and for what I paid you could have purchased a whole large bottle of the stuff, they really have a serious markup on something that is so inexpensive.  This is also the same stuff she had when she was newly born that we got for free back then but that was a different time (17 years ago).  I was also told that her stool may or may not have anything visible, such as worms.  Just because I do not see anything doesn’t mean she didn’t have something.  I can only surmise that if things get better then she had something and that drug cleared it up.  I like to see and know the results in other words are the lights on or are they off.  

The one question I did ask being some what of a pessimist is that if we do the de-wormer and it doesn’t work what is our next move.  That is a question that would have to go back to the original vet I saw since she is the one who did the ultrasound.  They would also likely review the ultrasound findings again.  Right now it’s try this, wait and see how it goes.  We could have solved the problem and that is my sincere hope.  It would be an extra great benefit if we could get her off the pred. but I know that is probably asking for a lot.  I am over the moon with delight about the de-wormer since most of what I saw and read on-line suggested that as the first go to step. 

I gave her the dose last night and then followed up with a 1/2 tablet of pred.  She got super sleepy and I was fine with that.  She did really good last night.  Used both litter boxes and only woke me up 1 time at 4:45a for food.  Considering what I have been through I call that a major improvement.  I stayed up with her and after she was done with her food she wanted up in my lap and she drifted off into a deep slumber again.  I hated to move but I really needed to get back to bed. 

When I woke up this morning she was waiting for me on the couch.  She was quick to consume part of her breakfast and then returned to the couch.  Where she started crying to summon me so that I would feed her the rest of the can from the comfort of her bed  I took care of myself and got to her as soon as I could and she ate more. 

I ventured downstairs to start my day and heard her crying.  I figured it was her water cry and checked the camera from the looks of things I was right.  She was no longer in bed and I don’t have a camera view of the fountain. 

I plan to get her some fluids tonight and then I need to make a decision on how much of the pred. I want to continue with.  We were doing so well on 1/2 a tablet for so very long and I really don’t like the fact that the drug goes after her kidneys.  On the other hand I want to ensure that we stay normal and if a whole tablet will do that then I am all for it.  It’s a tough call and I don’t want to make radical and constant adjustments to this drug as that is for sure not good for her, just as it wouldn’t be good for a human.  She had 6 days of the whole tablet and that really didn’t change things with the initial chief complaint being a sudden onset rapid ravenous appetite. 

In other news my new battery case for my phone got hooked up to the charger last night and I was disappointed this morning that magnetically it didn’t charge.  I’ve got it plugged in and will be checking on it in a bit to see where we are.  I hate to have to return that as well and buy yet another one.  This is an item that you can’t just walk in to your local Best Buy and pick up like you could back in the day.  Amazon seems to be the only place to get this, even Mophie the manufacturer no longer sells them on their website.  This is also frustrating but one way or another I am going to get this worked out.

Right now I feel pretty good about things and was glad that I was able to relax a bit last night and get some sleep.  I am ready to go back to bed for a bit now.  I do really hope that things stay calm and under control with Gator so that I can return to the office next week.  Sounds crazy I know wanting to go back to work but there is just something about getting out of the house and being around other people that is good for my psychological well being.  It’s all too easy to fall into a hermit routine and stay inside, once I fall into that it’s very tough habit to break.  Hopefully, once the stress in my life finally balances out I can begin to get my eating under control and actually loose some weight.  No doubt that with the Gator situation I have picked up a couple pounds.  I am very displeased with my weight and appearance, especially since I went back through some old photos of myself on my phone.  I have never liked my looks but in hindsight pre-pandemic I looked really good and if you go back a couple more years I was on fire but just didn’t realize it.  Sort of like how I looked in my youth.

Well, here’s hoping that were on the fast and right track to getting Gator’s issue solved and everything else will fall in line behind that.  I hope that your doing well and life is treating you way better than it has been treating me.  Take care and be well.    

Quick update

I called the vet at lunch since I didn’t hear anything.  The vet I was working with has the day off and will be back tomorrow.  I asked about another vet and now am supposed to get a call tonight.  Fingers crossed that actually happens. 

Gator ate 2 cans of food at lunch, one was pate based and the other was gravy based.  She is now passed out hard on the couch.  I had to come back down because of afternoon meetings.

The tree people are finally done and much to my dismay my lawn guy showed up despite my warning.  I was really hoping that he would come by later in the week because I am pretty sure he won’t be charging me any less despite the fact he cut less grass this time. 

I am super drowsy and think that the adrenalin finally wore off.  A nap sounds really appealing but I don’t know that I will be giving in.  I am trying to fight it off for the moment. 

Work is mildly busy and hopefully things don’t blow up this afternoon.  I could use some what of a break.  Thankfully not much to dig out from being out just 1 day. 

I don’t expect that I will have another update until tomorrow.  For now I plan to stay home the remainder of the week and work from home, unless I get some confidence boost from Gator.  My hope for sure is that next week I can resume my normal routine and let my guard down a bit.  I need to be able to relax and lower my blood pressure but that is all dependent upon the cat.  

Hope your having a good day.  Talk with you all again soon.

Angry

I waited around yesterday for a phone call that NEVER came.  I called last night around 7p and was told that the vets were all doing their call backs now so the phone should be ringing anytime but it NEVER happened.  I am at home again today but working as best I can.  My nerves are on edge and it’s kind of tough to concentrate.  I’m giving them a bit more time today but more than likely I will be going over and will have to be a bit more stern.  I just need some answers and help, it’s not an unreasonable request.  I get that I am not the only client but damn someone could have taken 5 minutes to call me. 

I withheld medication last night on purpose.  Gator continued to eat but now is not consuming full cans of food.  She didn’t wake me nearly as often but my nerves did a good job of keeping me awake.  Once again I feel like I am running on adrenaline. 

She used the litter box again yesterday evening and what came out was grey.  I gave that a google because I had no idea what it means.  Turns out it means there was no bile so she could have an obstructed or blocked bile duct or there could be something more serious going on.  There could be other causes at play.  One article said it was an immediate medical emergency and the other said if it happens more than twice you need to contact your vet. 

She’s back to drinking water but stares off into space and camps out a bit longer at the fountain.  As long as food and water are going in and coming out properly it’s a good thing.  As for the quantity of the food if that slows down a bit then I think we will be okay or at least I will be able to relax a little bit. 

I don’t know if I will give medicine again tonight or skip, that kind of depends if/when I hear from the vet and what my gut tells me.  I think the medication was causing the side effect of hunger to increase and I also think there is something else at play be it a parasite or infection.  It’s a nagging feeling and I do feel strongly that if we don’t figure it out I will lose my little girl prematurely. 

My neighbor came over last night as if I hadn’t already had enough to deal with.  They hired a new contractor for the damn trees and he is here today.  No one told me there would be a large truck parked in my backyard so my grass couldn’t be mowed.  This is a 2 day job and today is all about chopping things down.  Tomorrow will be grinding the stumps out and then were done.  They are very loud.  I will be glad to have this out of the way.  I passed word on to my lawn guy this morning.  Hopefully, he shows up a bit later in the week. 

Cheers for now.

Up All Night

Ms. Gator had me up all night long for what else but food.  She would let me get between 30 and 45 minutes sleep and then she would start crying to wake me up.  I went to bed late as it was and she wasn’t happy about that.  I took an extra sleeping pill so that I would be sure to sleep through the night.  I never expected to have to try to fight against that and cater to her. 

I took the day off work and was mad as hell.  I got dressed and went to the vets office early this morning.  I voiced my concerns and was told that the vet would contact me this evening.  I expressed my displeasure at that statement and asked if we could get a rush on the phone call.  Clearly that hasn’t happened and I am wondering now if I am going to get a phone call at all.

I tried to go back to sleep this morning and think I got maybe 30 minutes of solid rest and then I woke up on my own.  I’ve chatted it up today with a couple people but no one really knows what to say other than they wouldn’t do what I do for their pet.  It’s far too much and to the extreme.  The only thing that keeps me from strangling her or giving up is love and those are 4 powerful letters that make up a powerful word. 

As you might imagine I have experienced a flurry of emotion off and on all day long.  I want to cry and I also want to scream at the same time.  My body is trying to process all of this.  I don’t think were at deaths door at the moment but clearly we need to fix this problem because I can’t continue in this manner for an indefinite period of time.  My employer understands a day her and a day there but I need to be productive and working.  I’m not worried about my job at the moment.  I am not giving up on my little girl either.  I want to try everything within reason to solve this problem.  I haven’t lost sight of the fact that at some point regardless of what I want our relationship will come to an end.  

All of my worry is around what is going on with my little girl and why she is consuming so much food.  The only thing I can think of is that the steroid is giving her this side effect with the increase dose.  She also stopped drinking water overnight but has resumed this afternoon.  I’d like to break away from the steroid and try something else.  I know for a fact it’s not good for her kidney issues. 

I’ve watched a few videos on YouTube and I hear about an alternative steroid that is supposed to work better but when I looked it up it’s got the same side effects.  There is the elimination diet where you feed the cat something it’s never had before like alligator, deer, kangaroo, etc.  You stop feeding the regular food and see what happens.  Most cats respond to this and then you have your solution.  I don’t mind doing that but I have no idea where in the world I would get something rare like that for a cat that is already prepared.  The chances this is caused by an allergic reaction to something she is eating is pretty high but my vet hasn’t said a word about that.  You can google until your hearts content and read article after article and watch video after video.  However, that can also work to your detriment.  You get convinced you either have found the solution or figured out what you or your pets has and in turn all you really did was cause unnecessary worry to yourself.  You have to take everything on the internet with a grain of salt.  There could be some truth to it but then again it might not be applicable at all. 

I tried to get her into a vet that I trust for a second opinion only to find out they aren’t taking any new patients.  That was a huge disappointment.  I don’t have another move at the moment.  There are other vets in the area and I think it’s a crap shoot with picking any of them.  What I worry about most is that word will get back to the vet that we see regularly that I asked for a second opinion and it will cause harm to that relationship.  The vet that I see is the largest in my area and open 24/7/365 they are a huge money making machine with all of the latest technology.  I have sworn them off after something happens to Gator I have no plans to ever darken their door again.  However, I will probably wind up having to eat those words. 

Right now it’s a little after 6p and thus far no call back.  I am not happy and will give them a bit more but eventually if they force my hand I will either call or go show up in person again.  It’s only 2 miles away and I can get there pretty fast.  That’s one of the main reasons why I stick with them. 

Here’s hoping that I get some answers soon and more importantly that I can get some quality sleep tonight so that I can work tomorrow.  I haven’t yet abandoned the idea of going in this week for a day but right now it’s not top on my list.  Getting back in the swing of things is however at the top of the list. 

Funny or ironic thing is that Gator has managed to get in plenty of sleep during the day.  I hope that doesn’t mean she will be up all night again.  I have to crash and come down from running on adrenaline and some sugar all day long.  When I do I think that is when I will get the best sleep. 

The weather is off the wall as well.  It was in the 80’s yesterday and today were back to more Winter like temperatures and even have a freeze warning for tonight.  That is so crazy.  I don’t want summer just yet but I also am done with winter. 

Hoping that the rest of the week will be better for me and my girl.  I hope that your doing okay as well and as always come back again to read more about what is going on in our lives.  Thanks for your visit and cheers!

Busy Saturday

I got some sleep but Gator did have me up a couple times during the night but I don’t remember a whole lot.  Guess I was on auto pilot.  I got up around 8a and had some breakfast and then took in some TV.  After an hour I went back to bed, I was nodding off while watching TV.  I got up around 10a and got a shower and then it was off to see the barber.  Very warm summer like day with temperatures in the 80’s pretty quickly for the bulk of the day. 

After the barber I drove to the post office.  I figured I didn’t have any mail and I was right but the drive was nice.  I wanted to make a couple more stops while I was out but opted to go home to check on Gator.  She was ready for food again so it’s a good thing that I came home. 

Things also started to heat up at work.  One of our firewalls took a nose dive for a bit and that caused a lot of things to grind to a halt.  Alarms were pouring in like crazy and I had trouble getting logged in but eventually made it.  Our Networking Team was on it pretty fast and within about 15 minutes things were back up and running.  I just had to clear out the ton of emails I got and deal with one pressing issue. 

I stuck around the house for a bit just to be safe.  I wanted to leave but figured as soon as I walked out the door all hell would break loose.  Better safe than sorry.  After enough time passed I headed out.  Got cat food (what little they had in stock) and then hit up Sam’s again.  Got more Pancakes on a Stick, those are damn good.  Some soda and muffins.  I was in and out pretty quickly.  Got to see a cute cart boy and his perky buns.  I was wishing he would sit on my face but that was a silent wish. 

Back home, turned on the AC it was a sweat box here.  I unloaded what I purchased and put it away.  Then time to feed the Gator again.  I was off to Red Lobster.  On the way there my sugar started dropping so I grabbed a piece of candy and turned the AC up a little bit. 

It took a minute to get a table but I was seated pretty quickly.  I placed my order and everything practically came out at once including the bill.  I felt rushed but I took my sweet time.  Had a Pina Colada and today was the perfect day for it.  All cold on my throat and very soothing.  I headed home when I was done.  Only to have work need my attention again.  Dealt with that and took in a bit of social media. 

Now I have a load of laundry in, listening to the police scanner.  It’s another busy day for them.  Fires, drunk drivers and all sorts of madness.  Going to do some surfing and then back up to be with Gator and take in some TV. 

I need to wake up early tomorrow to get the testing done at work, then hit up the grocery store and the gas station.  Those are my only required places to visit tomorrow.  I will be having breakfast at home.  It won’t exactly be healthy but it should be filling. 

Plan to clean the house, shave and shower.  Deal with any work related issues that might come up, but hoping that it’s an extra quiet day.  I could use a full day of rest.  I am ready now to fall over and sleep.  Still need to load the dishwasher. 

That’s my busy Saturday.  Hope that you were able to enjoy your day and it was productive.  I’m looking forward to relaxing and sleeping.  Hopefully, Gator’s appetite starts to slow down.  Today will be the 5th day of the higher dose of medicine, so fingers crossed. 

Come back again to see what fun I am having. 

Double post day

I need to pass some time before I can move to the last job of the day and then I can finally get away from this personal confuser.

Things have calmed down a lot since this morning.  It was a whirlwind day though.  Between work and Gator’s appetite I’ve been stepping & fetching all day long.  I was barely able to squeeze in time to get my lunch. 

Gator that girl can eat.  She is on like her 7th or 8th can of food for the day.  I’ve fed her 3 cans while she sits in bed and makes a mess.  Two queens in the same house doesn’t make for a pretty picture all the time.  I have to interject some humor because I am starting to lose patients with the constant need for food.  I feel like I can’t breathe fully or do really much of anything without being summoned back to take care of her.  I can finally relax when she falls asleep and I try my very best not to wake her up because I know that means the beast of an appetite that she has at the moment will need to be fed.  She also knows when the weekend is here so I don’t anticipate that I will get a whole lot of sleep tonight but I might be surprised. 

It’s in the upper 80’s outside and it’s 79 upstairs.  Here in the basement it’s like being in a cave, it’s a cool 72 degrees.  I will need to fire up the AC again but I will try to hold out until after the sunsets.  The humidity smacks you in the face as you climb the steps.  Once you get used to it, things aren’t so bad.  It a little better in my room because I have a dehumidifier going and the ceiling fan is on full blast.  It’s not exactly AC but it’s more tolerable. 

No word from the neighbor on the tree surgeon who is coming to chop down the trees in the back.  I kind of just expect the guy to show up with his crew and go to work any day now but who knows if/when that will happen.  I have the money freed up from savings and ready to go so I am not caught by surprise. 

As I believe I shared in an earlier post this week my only plans for the weekend are the usual errands and getting my haircut tomorrow.  I picked up an on-call shift for a colleague so I am on-call now thru Sunday.  He really pulled a fast one and I wasn’t smart enough to pick up on it until it was too late.  This is server patching weekend so I will have to get up early on Sunday, login and test all of our stuff to make sure that it’s working.  It’s a major pain and I am not stuck with it that often.  There is also some additional work being done this weekend that will cause some alarms/alerts so I have to watch for those.  Otherwise, I think, hope and pray that it is quiet because this has been a hellish week.  I get a break from on-call for one week, then I am back on again for an entire week.  However, after that I only work 3 days and am taking a couple days off. 

Looking forward to supper tonight it’s one of my favorite TV Dinners, white cheddar Mac & Cheese with Bacon.  Wash that down with some Diet Pepsi and then try to empty out the DVR.  There isn’t much to watch but I think 1 show and then it will be either over to YouTube or some streaming service.  I’ve also got a set schedule for social media and really look forward to 7p as that is when I am on Instagram to see all of the cute & sexy guys.  Pictures/visuals are so great I like that much more than reading tweets but it all lumps into together to some addictive behavior that I can’t seem to get enough of. 

Hope that you have a nice weekend, stay cool & dry.  Be well and come back again soon. 

Blood results

Gator’s lab work came back and I got results via email late last night, which kind of surprised me.  I was expecting a phone call.  Overall it shows some progression with her Kidney disease and the fact that she really needs fluids once per week to help with thing.  All other areas of her blood work were normal. 

The diagnosis right now is as we suspected, her IBD is flaring up.  Continue with the increased dose of steroids and if her appetite doesn’t come more into control within the next 1 to 2 weeks let the vet know.  I really hope that I don’t have to continue to deal with this ravenous appetite for 2 more weeks.  I am expecting that after Saturday or on Sunday that she is a different cat.  It typically takes 5 days for the drug to level out in the system and that causes things to fall into place.  She should also be walking a bit better since it should help with her arthritis.

It was 80 degrees in here last night and way too hot to try to sleep.  I had to turn on the AC and it worked it’s magic.  Then I slept with the entire system off … no heat or ac.  It’s not bad in here this morning.  Were headed for another hot day and weekend so I am sure that I will be leaning more on the AC.

I passed out some fluids to Gator, she wasn’t happy about it.  However, it was time to get it out of the way.  I can see the difference in her this morning, it’s like she has this glow about her. 

She had me up a little bit last night but mostly let me sleep, until an hour before I was set to get up.  Then she asked for more food.  Problem is that she eats some cans in full and others she only eat some of it and then moves on, never to return and there is a large amount of wasted food. 

When I did get up she was on my heels for food.  I took care of her and she ate a bit and then demanded that I feed her from the couch for what she left behind, which was a good portion of the can.  I went about my normal morning routine and at the very end I gave her the can of food from the couch.  Most people wouldn’t do that and then of course she would have to make a choice starve or go get it on her own.  The thought process most people have is that she would go get it on her own. 

I don’t have quite the uneasy feeling that I did earlier in the week but it doesn’t take much to bring that feeling on.  She is and always will be a constant worry of mine until the very end.  Just like all of her family members that went before her. 

It’s a super busy and hectic day at work.  I just paused long enough to get this out.  Hope that you all have a great Friday!  Talk with you all again soon. 

Still going

We made it through another night.  Gator woke me up a couple times and I fed her.  The second time I managed to step in part of the food she left from the first can.  Nothing wakes you up like stepping in something.  There was no going back to sleep after that experience.  Sad part was that it was pretty close to 5a and I get out of bed at 7a.  I was up until 6a and then managed to drift into somewhat of a slumber only to hear the dreaded call of the meow. 

I am making it a point to keep her litter boxes super clean.  The fastest way to fill a litter box is to clean it.  The cat always wants to come back and make another deposit.  She was really busy overnight.  All systems appear to be working. 

The vet noted that she had cataracts, not sure how she can tell that without using an Ophthalmoscope.  I think a lot of what they put down is merely a guess on their part.  Appointments are much like the American Health Care system in that you have x amount of time to see x number of patients and therefore you can only spend a maximum of x minutes. Hell Gator is old so chances are she probably does have cataracts.  Some of her mental ability has gone, which is why there is yowling and crying.  I get the big picture that she is on the way out and I’ve known that for a very long time. 

Last night in the shower (sounds bad to start a sentence this way) I had an epiphany.  The longer Gator is here the tougher it is going to be to part with her when that time comes.  I’d love nothing more than to see her live to the age of 20 but I do think that is probably a big ask.  It is hard to think that we have been together for 17 years and in 2 months that will be 18 years.  Time sure does pass by fast.  I think back to where I was in life, where I was working and how young I was. 

I need to go check on her it’s an hour before snack time but I also have a meeting around her normal snack time.  Hoping for some good news with her lab results.  Fingers still crossed. 

The mood at work right now is super calm but I know that is subject to change at anytime.  You just enjoy these moments as best you can while they last.  I think I picked a great week to not go to the office.  Glad we are closer to the weekend.  I’ve got a haircut appointment booked and outside of that nothing else scheduled.  I will probably do some napping because of all of the loss of sleep this week even though it’s impossible to make up lost sleep. 

Hope that you are enjoying this Friday eve and having a great day.  Talk with you all again soon.  Be well. 

Vet Visit

It was an unfun visit for both of us but we are both back home.  The likely hood of her having consumed a mouse is probably nil because cat’s usually like to eat 1/2 and then show their owner the other 1/2.  It’s not out of the realm of possibilities but if I want to confirm if she does or doesn’t have worms, they need a stool sample. 

They did blood work and the vet is interested to see where her Thyroid and other values are at.  Right now the preliminary diagnosis is that it is her IBD flaring up.  It will be as late as Friday before I get results.  My hope is that they arrive tomorrow. 

Increasing her medicine was a smart move and I found out a little bit of laxative won’t hurt her now and then.  The risk is that she will dehydrate if I use it every day.  I am also supposed to continue giving her fluids once per week.  Gator does a really good job in keeping herself hydrated but I know what to watch out for and when it is time to push some fluids. 

For now it’s keep feeding her as much as she wants and we should know more when the blood results come in.  The bill for this visit wasn’t cheap because of the blood work but we really needed to get that done as that is where all of the answers will be found.  You can only tell so much by looking at the outside. 

Gator isn’t happy with me, but I know that will be a temporary thing and she will go back to being my best friend, especially when her tummy starts growling. 

The work day is done so I am on my way up to see her and hope that I get a good nights rest!  Fingers crossed for the very best outcome. 

Thinking about it …

Considering that I haven’t seen the mouse and it’s possible Gator consumed it, she could have worms, which would explain the ravenous appetite.  I don’t see anything in the litter box but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have them. 

She ate her snack at 10a and used the litter box.  Considering that I still feel on edge I am taking her over to the vet.  We got lucky and got an appointment this afternoon.  Hopefully, we can get some answers.

Hopefully, they don’t drain my wallet in the process. 

Gator again

Perhaps I shouldn’t have said a word about Gator in my post yesterday.  Things went south last night.  I passed out supper as normal and she ate some of it.  Then a while later I was watching TV and she kept pestering me, eventually I put it together that she wanted food.  She wound up eating a bit, stopping for a bit and then asking for it back.  In the end she managed to polish off 2 1/2 cans of food.  I’ve never, ever seen a cat eat that much and not throw some of it back up.  Gator kept it all down, thankfully. 

This along with other clues over the past couple weeks has caused me to realize that her disease (IBD or Lymphoma) is getting worse and the small amount of steroid that I have been throwing at the problem just isn’t cutting the mustard.  When this all started she had the same ravenous appetite but would only consume gravy and stopped drinking water.  Now she eats everything and is consuming water. 

It’s time to bump up the steroid, so I gave her a full pill last night.  It takes 5 days for the new dose to level out in her body and to see any measurable results. 

She woke me up last night several times.  I passed out more food and eventually we laid down to each other.  Eventually she wanted up and that is when she made her way for water.  I took that as a sign and went back to bed. 

I almost took her to the hospital last night.  The most they could do is palpate to see if they felt any stool trapped and do blood work.  She would get the million dollar workup and I’d get the bill but I don’t know that we would have solved anything. 

Right now I am waiting for her to use the litter box, if what comes out matches up to what went in then were good.  If not then I will be calling for an appointment as there is probably something else going on. 

She is well hydrated, I checked that last night and again this morning.  I also see that she consumed a normal amount of water and topped off the fountain this morning.

This morning she consumed another 2 cans (normally it’s 1 or part of 1) for breakfast.  I’ve not heard a peep from her since I managed to make to the computer but I will be checking on her shortly. 

I don’t have a good feeling about this whole mess.  I don’t want to go negative right away but her age is certainly one factor that is against her.  I know that no cat lives forever but I don’t want to part with her be it her time or prematurely.  We (Gator & I) could use positive vibes, prayers and whatever else good that you can virtually send our way.  Fingers Crossed!

Day after Monday

We made it through Monday, hooray!  It was actually a pretty easy day for me.  I got an influx of work and was busy for a while, which helped to pass a good portion of the day away.  A nice quiet day while the boss was away. 

It was a bit chilly out yesterday and the sun finally came through the window.  I took a late lunch and Gator took advantage of the sunshine and wanted to sun bathe a bit.  The furnace kicked on and she had warm air blowing on her, she was upset by that and tried to get me to make it stop but I told her just hang in there it will turn off eventually and it did.  She wasn’t pleased with me but did get to enjoy some time in the sun and even got to eat in the sun so not a bad deal for her. 

The neighbor came over to share the “good news” with me on the cost for chopping down the gaggle of trees we spoke about a while back.  It’s going to cost me a couple grand.  I’ve only got 1 tree in this bunch and it’s tall but really not worth the money.  I told him I would pay just to get the job done and to get rid of the threat.  Eventually (might be a decade or could happen in a month) they will fall down and do damage to someone or something.  I am not a fan of chopping down trees and it really bothers me (not sure why).  This is one of those situations where it’s better off to be safe than sorry.  My late spouse wouldn’t permit the work to be done years ago but I said I would pay then and it wasn’t about the money, he too wasn’t a fan of chopping down trees. Technically the neighbor behind us has been mowing the grass on what was my/our property for years so he kind of inherited the property and he should pay what is now my portion but I don’t want to be difficult because before you know it the whole thing will get blown out of proportion.  Just get it done and keep on moving.  

Today we continue with no boss but it’s been a little busier.  The person who is on-call for my team fell asleep at the switch or was otherwise absent.  We had an event and myself and another team member had to step in and take care of it.  We were both waiting for the on-call person to act but since that didn’t happen we had to step in because a member of management interjected himself.  I took the simple approach and cut through the red tape.  My boss might not be 100% happy because I didn’t screw around to try to find the root cause, I just took the easy out and the job got done.  It’s like seeing a person who stopped breathing, he (my boss) would want to find out their life history before he rendered any kind of aid or even called for help, and by then it’s too late.  Call for help and start CPR or they won’t have any chance of coming back.  You can find out their life story after the fact. 

The fun at work continues as I have to run a conference call this afternoon because the boss is out.  I never look forward to this because he always leaves me with a huge mess, which I cleaned up yesterday.  I will get through it but that doesn’t mean that I enjoy it.  He always seems to make sure that when he is off it’s on a Tuesday so that I am required to run the call. 

It does seem to me that one of my life’s purposes is to clean up messes.  I am always cleaning up some mess that someone else made be it a former co-worker, a present co-worker, my boss, the cat or someone else.  I am pretty good at it but it doesn’t mean that I enjoy it.  It’s quite frustrating and gets very old, very fast. 

On another note, the local police are actually telling people not to leave their car remotes and/or keys in their cars because that’s how cars get stolen.  I can’t actually believe people are dumb enough to leave the remote and/or keys in the car.  This isn’t the 1950’s where you can trust everyone and don’t need a lock for your front door.  I think if you are dumb enough to leave the keys and/or remote in the car then you deserve what you get.  Stupidity isn’t something I deal with well either.  Fun fact is that most people leave their keys and/or car remotes in the room closest to the door.  They are on a shelf, in a bowl or on a table.  Most thieves know this and if they can breach the door they can easily get the car.  I saw that in a TV show and the first thing I did was move my remote.  My vehicle is parked in a closed garage but more often than not the doors are still locked just because.  If your hell bent on stealing what I drive, then you have to work for it, I don’t make it easy and neither should anyone else. 

I wish that Spring would get here and stay.  The temperatures have been really more like Winter at night time and it’s been blustery during the day as well.  However, the grass is still growing and things are still in bloom.  I don’t want Summer quite yet but something where it’s just comfortable (not too hot and not too cold) would be nice. 

Looking forward to what I hope is a quiet afternoon so that I can enjoy what will be left of the last day with the boss not around.  He’s back tomorrow but at least we only have to deal with him for 3 days. 

Finally, Gator seems to be as normal as she gets.  Her appetite has picked up during the day where it seems for the first few hours of the day she wants food every hour or two.  She expects lunch and then slows down – sleeping the rest of the afternoon.  She wakes up in time for supper and then the cycle starts up again until it’s time for bed.  She let’s me sleep until she can’t take it anymore and then wakes me up.  Last night it was 5a which was pretty good.  Then she is good until I get up at 7a.  I am going to spend the rest of the week working from home, unless something else dictates that I go in.  At the moment, I plan to resume going back in (my one day a week) next week.  It’s good for me mentally and physically. I don’t like being away from her but she does manage.  Last week she thought I was here when I was at work and she kept crying for me.  When I see that it rips at me.  She still begs for me to feed her on the couch when I can and I give in, mostly in the evening.  Just hearing her eat she sounds like the Tasmanian Devil and she can’t seem to pack it away fast enough.  Sometimes I get a lick on my finger or hand, just as long as she doesn’t bite were all good.  If I could bring her water fountain to her, she would make me do that.  She’s got it good here and she knows it!  I’m pleased with how things are progressing at the moment but still guarded and watchful.

Happy Tuesday.  I hope that all is well.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Easter Sunday

I was permitted to sleep in a bit this morning, but I was also woken up at 5a to feed her majesty.  I enjoyed my sugar filled breakfast which was 3 pancakes & sausages on a stick with blueberry syrup and a warm chocolate chip cookie.  Washed it all down with a nice ice cold Diet Pepsi.  I am typically a Coke fan but wanted to switch it up. 

I did my house cleaning and was able to get Gator’s couch bed cleaned.  That is where she spends the bulk of her time and it was full of fur and dried up food bits.  Now I need to trim her talons, the rear ones are the worst.  I’ve never been one to trim a cats rear claws but those are the ones she usually gets me with. 

Got my recliner lubricated up with some garage 3in1 oil to keep it gliding smooth.  I also cleaned the chair its self.  When Gator isn’t in one of her beds she is in my lap in this chair.  The poor thing (chair) has served its purpose and was a birthday gift at least 20 years ago.  However, it’s still comfy and working.  The cushion part is a bit worn and if that could be refreshed I’d keep this forever.  Right now I just add a blanket to it and it’s good enough for us. 

Cleaned Gator’s fountain.  Had to put it in the dishwasher because it looked like there was something growing in the water and I didn’t want to take any chances.  I was permitted to take a short nap but when she discovered she had to drink out of a bowl she was sure to wake me up, she wanted her fountain back.  Funny how they get used to things. 

Cleaned my jewelry.  Thought I would change a watch battery.  I did a good job on that until it was time to put the damn watch back together.  The back just snaps on but it would pop on one side, while the other side was sticking up.  I tried to use the handle of a butcher knife to act as a hammer and lightly tapped but that didn’t do anything.  I lightly lubricated around the edge with some oil and that didn’t work.  I got a hammer and tried and tried.  Eventually I gave up and smashed it to bits, took out the battery and threw the damn thing in the trash.  It was a cheap watch I got a couple years ago on Amazon and didn’t mean that much to me.  It was frustrating as hell and while I could have taken it some place to get it put back together I wouldn’t have gotten the satisfaction I achieved by smashing the damn thing to bits. 

I’ve got two other watches.  One is a cheap watch I got from Amazon and the other is my good watch.  They both use a special notched screw tool to remove the back.  I could purchase one from Amazon but it’s just as easy to go some place and let a pro do the battery change.  My good watch is still ticking but the cheap one needs a battery or two.  That will be on my to-do list but I am not in a rush.  I typically don’t wear a watch.  I used to for the longest time but got out of the habit.  I really want an Apple Watch but won’t buy one because I think it would probably sit idle most of the time, plus if I broke it I would be seriously upset. 

Working on laundry.  Clothes are done.  Bed clothes are done.  Got some hand towels in now and when they are dry that is when I will be headed up stairs.  I’ve been up and down stairs off and on all day long just for a few moments to deal with laundry.  I am also running some cleaner through the dishwasher.  Trash has been emptied. 

I need to run the massager over my back again, it’s still bothering me.  I got to do that and ice it last night for a bit.  I plan to repeat the process tonight.  Plus I am going to shave and since the bed is clean a nice hot shower should help me to relax and sleep well. 

Monday morning will be here before you know it.  Looking forward to eating my holiday meal from the store for supper and taking in my tech podcast.  That goes from 4 until 7 or 7:30p at the latest.  Then I need to pass time until 8p and that is when I start the wind down process.  It takes roughly about a 1/2 hour to shave & shower, then it’s sleeping pill time, brush my tooth's and viola were done.  Just watch TV until I get sleepy and then it’s lights out. 

It’s been a nice day that I have been able to move at my own pace and don’t feel rushed.  I still am chained to my phone in case anything should pop at work but I don’t anticipate many people are doing much considering the holiday.  Although my neighbor did mow his yard.  Other than that it’s been quiet here and I like it very much. 

Hope your having a great day and are able to relax.  Hang in there as we take on another week.  Talk with you all again soon. 

Cross it all off the list

While I didn’t sleep the greatest Friday night, it was only because of the usual up with the hungry cat.  I had problems falling back to sleep, she sat in my lap as I watched TV.  She fell asleep and was quite comfortable.  Eventually she woke up and wanted down and that was my excuse to go back to bed.  It was time. 

Saturday morning was not the greatest but I managed to get up at a decent hour.  I fed her majesty and then climbed into the shower.  Man that felt really good.  I’ve got a large knot under each of my shoulders and the hot water helped a bit.  I got dressed and headed out.  First stop Cracker Barrel.  This was a better experience than last time but this time I got runny eggs.  I didn’t bother to complain in person, just ate what I could and paid my bill.  I am not going back for a while, they need to get their act together.  I voiced my concerns on-line. 

After my breakfast it was on to the grocery store.  Once again they didn’t have a couple of the items that I wanted the most.  One of which was Quaker Oatmeal Bars.  Those things were so damn good, gave me a sustained energy boost to make it through the morning and I wanted them but it appears they no longer carry them.  The other item was Pancakes on a stick, but I got that at Sam’s later in the day. 

From the grocery store on to the vet’s office to pick up medicine for Gator.  Everyone marvels at her full name and while I’d love to take credit for it, my late spouse is the one who named her.  Her name fits her to a T.  I told them the story about how I took in her mother, she had 4 kids and we were supposed to be giving them away, as I returned home one day from work, my late spouse introduced me to all of them.  He gave them names while I was away and we still had plans to give 2 of them away but as the rule goes, once you name them they are yours.  People love that story as well. 

Headed home to unload and take a load off for a while.  I tried to nap but Gator only left me alone for so long and then she started.  I took that as a queue to get my ass in gear.  I fed her again and headed back out. 

Hit up the post office, human pharmacy, pet food store, office supply store and last but not least Sam’s Club.  Holy cow I dropped some serious money all in one day and I wasn’t done just yet.  However, that is where the bulk of my money went.  I went home to unload and put all of that away.  Then you guessed it I rested for a bit again, but no napping.  I watched a tech radio show that has live video, it’s part of my normal weekend routine. 

I saw a different type of people today, I figured everyone would be in a rush and places would be packed.  The only two places that had decent size crowds were the grocery store and Sam’s. 

I was on social media.  The weekends are when the bulk of the porn/sexual content posts pick up.  Holy cow I have been all horned up.  I saw a video that really was more of a marketing ploy about a new toy.  I of course fell for that and placed an order.  It should be here in two weeks and I hope it brings me as much pleasure as I think it will. 

I had a difficult time deciding on what I should have for supper, I knew that I needed to go out but wasn’t set on where.  I browsed around and then I decided to hit up a local Mexican place.  I used to go there all the time and would always run into the cutest guys.  That didn’t happen today.  The food was okay but not the best.  It did it’s job in filling me up so that is a good thing.  I also stopped for a car wash, it was past time.  That place always leaves spots on my rear window and I found not all of the dirt came off my vehicle.  I filed a complaint on-line, for the money I spent I expected better.  Were limited in my area with only a small number of places that wash cars and the prices are insane – all automatic.  I miss the days of being able to power wash it yourself but I don’t miss feeding a machine quarters all the time.  I do feel that I got a better wash when I was involved in the process. 

I sat with Gator for a bit when I came home.  I passed out some food to her, she expected to be hand fed.  I told her if she wanted it she had to get up and eat it.  She waited until I wasn’t looking to nibble a bit and then climbed back up on the couch.  I never saw her eat but looking at the plate on the floor gave it away.  I was also surprised to find that she is back to using 2 litter boxes, one for each function.  The #2 litter box had a full normal deposit.  I was really happy to see that.  I pray it continues but that her hunger pains slow a bit in the evening. 

I’ve got plenty of food to feed her plus one or two more cats, so it’s not like she is going to run out.  However, the flavors are limited because of the supply chain.  Gone is chicken and the shrimp she liked.  They will come back eventually but I wish I had them now to keep her even happier than she is already. 

When I am done here I am headed up to run the massager on my back to see if I can’t break up these knots.  Then medicate the Gator and myself, watch TV and eventually fall asleep.  Sunday will be a day spent at home.  If my body, my phone and my cat all permit me to I’d like to sleep in a bit.  Then tend to Laundry, cleaning and my least favorite task putting out pills for myself.  I’ve got a holiday Ham meal from the store that I plan to nuke for supper and then watch TV and prepare for whatever Monday has to offer me.  Thus far I have no plans to go in this week, but that’s not 100% for sure.  I could waiver later in the week. 

Phew I made it through the day and accomplished everything that I had planned.  That makes me feel really good, not to mention that today is the first time in a long time that I exceeded my step goal.  Normally when I go into work I get about 50% of it in, the rest of the week it’s 20% on average.  The goal is 3,000 steps.  I figure the more I walk the thinner I will be and I felt like it was working but not so much anymore because of the way I eat. 

Hope you had a great day.  If you celebrate a holiday (Easter, Passover, etc.) I hope that it is a great one.  It’s just another day for me but being alone on a holiday doesn’t ever make me feel good.  I am happy that I have what I do and that I have made it this far, when many times tomorrow and the future seemed impossible to foresee.  Take care!

Movie Review - Rescued by Ruby (Netflix)

This movie is available now on Netflix.  It’s rated G and in case your like me and don’t like to see animals die in movies, the dog does not die.  I was talking with a friend and he told me about a website that you can look up to see if the animal dies at https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ they track several other items as well, very interesting site. 

I watched this movie on Friday night to help pass time.  It’s been on my list for a couple weeks and there were some sad moments but I never shed one tear or felt like crying.  It has a very happy and unsuspecting ending.  It is a true story that took place and if you take the time to watch the movie stay for the credits.  There are outtakes that make it that much more enjoyable. 

This movie made me miss most every dog that I have ever had.  They were all childhood pets.  I’ve never owned a dog as an adult.  If I owned one today chances are I would probably be a little bit thinner since you have to walk them.  However, I am perfectly content with my elderly cat. 

At the end of the movie there is a song that played.  I caught one of the lines that said “Don’t be your Kryptonite”.  That resonated with me.  Often we are our own worst enemy and internalize things or if your like me talk your self into or more likely out of something that is enjoyable or a new experience. 

I walked away from this movie with a smile on my face and it was time well spent.  The song I referenced is below in case you want to check that out. 

Tired

I was asleep by 10p but Gator had me up at 12:30a.  She was hungry but didn’t really care much for what I put out for her, not a good sign.  I had to have some sugar and watch some TV before I was able to pass out again that was like 2a.  As soon as I got in bed she started up again with this hungry business.  I hated to do it but I walked her out of my room and closed the door.  I needed sleep.  I woke up a few hours later, used the bathroom and came right back to bed. 

Needless to say when I opened my door this morning she was waiting for me and crying/yelling at me.  I put down some more food for her and same thing again she ate a little bit but wasn’t terribly interested.  She drank some water and then she went to bed. 

With the boss man being out today I figured this would be a cool and easy Friday.  Wow it started off at 60mph and we were doing 120mph before long.  It was a crazy busy couple of hours.  Finally I got a phone call that caused me to break my concentration and things just slowed at a rapid pace I didn’t care much about anything.  It was time to walk away for a break.  Just then Gator started up with snack time.  After my call which didn’t last long I headed up. 

This time I put down some Chicken which is one of her favorites.  She did a good job of trying to clear the plate.  No water and back to bed.  I was able to pet her and scratch her a bit.  She seems okay.  Her not wanting to scarf up whatever is put down is new and unusual for her.  I am keeping my eye on her to see where this goes.  It might be time to increase the medication but as difficult as it is for me I am using some restraint and patience.  Her system is working it’s way back to normal from earlier in the week.  I just need to make sure that she stays hydrated.  She really wants me to put down a can of what is mostly gravy but I want her to eat the meat as well, that is where the nutrition is, so it’s kind of a balancing act.  I’ve been through it all with cats and no doubt this too shall pass.  It’s just extra scary for me because I am hypersensitive because she is my last one and I fear of her passing, which I know eventually will happen.  Whenever that time comes I know from experience I will not be ready and it matters not if it is my decision or natures decision.  So long as while she is here with me she is well taken care of and not in any pain or discomfort and living her best life for an old cat that is what matters most. 

I am probably going up for a while to catch a nap with her and then check into some lunch for me.  Unless there is some emergency I am caught up at work and don’t really have anything to do until late this afternoon. 

I dread tomorrow trying to pack two days worth of running errands into one day.  I’ve done it before but this time I added Sam’s to the list and not exactly sure if that will happen.  I need soda and it’s super expensive at the grocery store.  Sam’s is so much cheaper and of course I will want some bakery items, again Sam’s is cheaper but the grocery store is so convenient.  It’s just a simple matter of money and how much I really want to part with.  That will depend upon a lot of things such as mood and timing.  A good nights sleep will go a long way in helping me to accomplish all that I have on the agenda tomorrow.  Hopefully, I will be able to relax my worry about the cat a bit that too will help. 

Sunday will probably be the day I catch up on cleaning & laundry.  Don’t have plans to go anywhere and it doesn’t sound like I am getting an invite to my friends place, which is perfectly okay just as long as I have enough food to eat and I think I will be able to accomplish that.

Here’s hoping that you have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.  Take care. 

Safe

The severe weather threat did in fact pass us by yesterday afternoon.  It has been a very wet 24 hours but thankfully nothing bad from weather happened.  It seems the closer we get to summer the colder the temperatures.  It was down pretty low last night but today is a day full of sunshine and more normal temperatures. 

Gator appears to be back to normal.  I still have my watchful eye on her.  I called the vet for her refill.  I plan to pick it up on Saturday when I am trying to cram two days worth of errands into one because most everything is closed on Sunday due to Easter.  Saturday will be an early rising day but at least I can sleep in on Sunday, that is if my body lets me. 

Calm is the sea at work but it doesn’t take terribly long for it to get busy again.  I don’t know about everyone else but I am really excited that my boss will be gone for a few days.  Peace & Quiet the best way to work and we can skip all of the BS meetings.  It will be over before I know it but I will try to enjoy it while it lasts. 

I took a spin through the Google Analytics page of my blog.  It’s amazing and flattering to see how far and wide people come to read my blathering. 

Last night I watched Judge Steve Harvey.  I always get enjoyment from watching Steve no matter what he is in, he brings the humor with him.  The first case last night was about Childhood best friends argue over one not honoring to fulfill their end of a lost bet.  The guy (young man) that brought the suit is really a looker.  The entire show was great but the first case was the best in my opinion.  From there I moved on to 9-1-1 and after that it was time to wind down and prepare for today. 

I woke up at 2a worried about Gator and checked on her, of course she was fine.  I was up until 4a before I could go back to sleep.  Gator joined me in my room around 3a and we were watching YouTube videos.  Quite interesting the content you can find that will lull me to sleep.  Eventually she wanted to get up and I took that opportunity to return to bed.  She got in her bed and out I went.  She of course left me and returned to the couch.  I think she stays with me until I start snoring just to humor me or because she really wants to but the snoring probably wakes her up.  She was waiting for me all bright eyed and hungry when I got up for good this morning.  I love waking up to see her smiling face, that’s the best part of everyday. 

Hope that all is well in your neck of the woods.  My afternoon is full of meetings and then I have to work on getting the trash out.  After that figure out what is for dinner and hopefully I can relax a bit before I go to bed and have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow, but at least it will be Friday.  Take care and I will talk with you again soon.  Be well. 

Quick Update

Gator went again and has some diarrhea.  I gave her some fluids and she has been eating and napping this afternoon.  I think for now I am going to let things be, it seems her body is moving but it’s moving at it’s own pace and not my pace.  I feel bad because I reacted so quickly but I figured she was stopped up. 

Just as sure as the sun will rise again, I know there will be a next time.  I will be a little more cautious and try not to act so quickly as things may work out on their own.  I just know that what I have been seeing is less than normal for her and that is why I acted.  Trying to be a good pet parent is exhausting and once you get on the emotional rollercoaster that is when things tend to spin out of control for me.  It’s tough to stay calm or to do nothing.  I want her to be as normal as possible and to be free.  I tell her all the time it’s her house, I just pay the bills. 

The weather appears to have passed by and nothing horrendous thus far.  Still have to make it through the evening but from the way the weather folks were talking at lunch time this might all be a done deal.  That would be nice so that I can relax a bit. 

Work has been a wave of busy and calm all day.  I also signed up to help out a colleague with their on-call so I will be on again next Friday thru the weekend.  Nothing usually happens but when I do a kind deed for most anyone, I always seem to get punished in some form. 

Still hope that things are well in your world.  Talk with you all again soon, be well!

Stormy Weather

Today is supposed to be quite the weather day for us.  Everyone is on edge since we had a Tornado in the area back in December.  Of course it’s all supposed to hit later this afternoon and evening.  I hope that it is a non-event and there is no damage and this turns out to just be some violent storms.  I suppose it’s wait and see.  Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome. 

We had a fire drill scheduled for today at the office and they want to do it now next Tuesday.  I don’t know that I will be going in at all next week.  My boss is taking a few days off and I don’t think anyone will really miss me.  I mean Monday I took 3 phone calls and that is the most my desk phone has rang in 2 years.  Most of my communicating is done via email and that seems to get the job done.  While I look forward to going in and it helps with my mood/depression skipping a week might not be the worst thing.  Especially given how Gator is doing.  More on that in the next paragraph. 

Gator was struggling this morning with eliminating, I can tell that she isn’t having a full bowel movement and thus she got some more laxative this morning.  I find that I sprinkle it on a gravy based food and mix it with a spoon, she never knows it’s there and eats it right up.  She is still eating like a horse and drinking which are good things, as well as seeking me out for attention.  I need to get more steroids for her.  I am starting to question how much longer I will be able to stave off the dreaded vet visit.  If this is a continuing theme as I suspect it will be I believe we will be seeing the vet sooner rather than later.  I am reluctant to go because my fear is bad news.  Then again last time we went in for her big visit last year and they did the major workup I figured I would loose her then and she is still here.  Maybe I will have the same luck twice and they will just up her steroid or add in some different medicine.  I know that by waiting I could be causing more harm but I also don’t want to go just because she has a hangnail.  She seems otherwise happy but I do see a huge difference in her mood when she has a full elimination, you can see the extra happiness on her face.  She appears to be well hydrated but I will likely give her some fluids which certainly can’t hurt anything.  The odd thing is that you’d think if there was a major issue that her appetite would go south, as that has been the case with all of my other cats when there was a problem.  I am not looking for any trouble but it always seems to find me.  I don’t want to part ways with her at all but I know that each day is a blessing and also a curse as it is one day less that we have together.  I’m trying my best to enjoy our time together and keep her comfortable & satisfied which isn’t always an easy task since cats by nature are picky.  The whole supply chain issue with her food doesn’t exactly help things.

I hope that your having a great day and hey we made it to the half way point.  Just a couple more days to go and we will be at the weekend.  Talk with you all again soon.  

Serious Anger

Last night I was emptying my DVR of content to both free up space and help to pass time.  I watched 20/20 from last Friday which was entitled Death By Text.  It’s the story of Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy.  Both young adults.  Conrad had some mental problems and suicidal ideations.  He shared those with Michelle a girl that he was texting.  Michelle starts encouraging Conrad to act on his thoughts.  He overdosed one time but did it around family (I believe) they called for help and he was saved with medical assistance. 

The second time he tried was from the idea that he got from Michelle.  He borrowed a pump of some kind that was powered by a gasoline engine.  He drove to an empty K-Mart parking lot and in his pickup truck he started the engine of the pump.  He eventually succumbed to carbon monoxide and died.  He was found the next day by local law enforcement when his mother reported him missing.

Conrad had promised to delete all of the text message conversations between himself and Michelle but thankfully he didn’t.  He was also smart enough and thoughtful to leave behind his password(s).  The police discovered the messages when they looked at his phone and then they start digging further, they eventually get a search warrant for her (Michelle’s) phone and find the real damming piece of evidence.  She texted a friend explaining that she could have stopped Conrad from taking his own life.  He got out of the truck at one point but she told him to get back in and he did.  This turned from what on the surface looked like a simple suicide into a homicide. 

It took a couple years to make its way through the court system and her attorneys did a good job of trying to keep it from going to trial but they failed (thank God).  She had her day in court, waived a jury trial and instead let a judge make the final decision.  After the trial was done it took the judge 3 days to reach a verdict.  He starts out in his speech and it sounds like she is going to get off and then he switches course and she is found guilty of manslaughter.  She got in my opinion a very light sentence.  Two and a half years in prison with credit for 15 months served and the rest suspended, along with 5 years of probation.  Wow!  She took a human’s life, a young man who had so much to live for and she basically walked away with a light slap on the wrist.  There was no justice here but that is my opinion. 

If you watch the show you will see a good portion of the text message exchanges which were appalling.  She (Michelle) forced him into this I think because she got tired of hearing him whine about it.  Just get it over with, everyone will understand and move on.  She even went so far as to make contact with various family members after it happened and it wasn’t until the police dropped the bomb shell that she was involved that the pieces started coming together for the family.  They were horrified and understandably so. 

Conrad was a very good looking young man.  He graduated High School, got his Capitan’s License to pilot a boat and had lots of opportunity staring him in the face.  He had his demons but his mistake was being open and honest with Michelle a girl/friend that he had.  Instead of opening up to a true friend who would have steered him towards help.  I really wished that  someone could have changed things for this young man.  This truly is a very sad story.   

This story has also been made into a Hulu series called The Girl from Plainville.  Here’s a link to a media story about all of this … https://www.masslive.com/news/2022/04/conrad-roys-family-speak-out-on-abcs-2020-about-michelle-carter-texting-suicide-case-hulus-the-girl-from-plainville.html 

Something I learned a long time ago is that if someone says they are going to kill themselves, take them seriously 100% of the time, don’t treat it as a joke or humor.  If you do ignore it or pass it off as humor you likely will be regretful the rest of your life. 

I was seriously angry and shouting at the TV.  This was wrong in every sense of the word and is something that should have never happened.  I don’t know what kind of demented person hears a cry for help and encourages the person crying to take their own life.  It matters not who’s idea it was.  It matters that it was suggested as a solution. 

A former therapist of mine told me that Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  I get the appeal of wanting to drop out of life, I’ve been there a number of times myself.  You can’t see the trees for the forest your in.  You aren’t thinking clearly and your mind races to find a solution.  It’s a very dangerous, scary and lonely place to be.  Regardless of whatever the problem is you are not the lone ranger, meaning that you aren’t the only person in the world who has faced this problem (what ever it may be).   

There is help available regardless of your age.  Life is not an easy journey to navigate all the time and talking with someone does help and often times puts things into a different perspective.

800-273-8255 – This is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  You can call or text them 24/7/365.  It’s available in English or Spanish. 

866.488.7386 – This is the number for the Trevor Project.  They specialize in helping LGBT youth.  You can call that number or if you prefer to text, send START to 678-678.  Just like the above number I believe this operates 24/7/365.  

I am by no means an expert when it comes to mental health.  I’ve had and continue to have my struggles.  Talking and medication is what has helped me the most.  Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, it doesn’t mean or make you less of a person.  I think it actually makes you stronger for realizing that you need help and are asking for it.

Okay, now I will step down off my soap box.  I just don’t know how anyone can see or hear this story and not be upset or angry.  Talk with you all again soon.