Saturday

I managed to get a shower this afternoon.  I got out to get the mail, cat food and picked up a pizza from Domino’s.  When I got home I was ready for a nap.  I ate some pizza (which wasn’t the greatest) and then watched some TV and took it easy.  I came down to pay bills and check my email.  Hours went by and now it’s 9p. 

No big plans for tomorrow.  Depending upon how I feel I might schedule a haircut this week.  My hair is totally out of control.  My ultimate goal for tomorrow is working on laundry.  Slowly but surely I am making some progress. 

I hope that I get some more energy and return to normal sooner rather than later.  I am pushing the fluids again and that has helped a little bit.  Gator had me up at 5a and I had breakfast because I knew that I would eventually get tired and return to bed.  We ate together which happens on occasion.  My appetite isn’t really there but I am forcing food in, I know that helps too. 

Stay warm and safe.  Talk with you all again soon!

Friday

The end of yet another week is here.  I woke up this morning and it felt like I took two steps backwards.  That tends to happen when I push myself a bit too hard when I am sick and I always pay a price the next day.  I spent the bulk of today in bed and that didn’t please Ms. Gator.  She got fed and we had our cuddle time and I am sure there will be more before the day is done.  I just felt horrible with a general body ache, sinus and cough.  Ms. Gator woke me at 6a and I opted to eat breakfast with her.  I was surprised that we had yet another dusting of snow.  The trash trucks were right on time and making a bunch of noise, as per usual.  I took my medicine and then began watching TV. 

I am currently watching Different Strokes with Todd Bridges and Gary Coleman.  It’s hard to believe that every regular character in that show is deceased.  It was really good TV back in the day but I appreciate it a bit more now than I did then.  Plus I don’t have to sit through commercials.  I believe I am getting it with my Paramount Plus subscription on Amazon.  Eventually I get tired and pause it, then rest up and turn the TV back on. 

I knew that eventually I would need to put on some clothes and get the trash barrel in.  I opted to do that at 3p and since I was upright I decided to come down and work on the computer.  I’ve done some surfing, finally balanced my checkbook for December and finished writing a letter that I had in draft mode for almost a month.  I still need to pay bills but money won’t be going anywhere until Monday so I am waiting to schedule anything until tomorrow or Sunday at the latest. 

It’s still cold here and the basement could use some heat but I will be headed up soon to grab some supper and check on Ms.Gator.  She’s been napping in the sunshine on the couch.  She is managing to chew through the food I picked up when I was at the grocery store so I will need to get out tomorrow or Sunday at the latest and get her more food.  I also need to grab the mail, it’s been 2 weeks since I have been to the post office. 

I think I am starting to come around slowly but don’t want to do too much after the morning I have had.  I would like some consistency in how I feel to really know if I am truly making progress.  My memory gets foggy still at times and that really angers me but there isn’t much I can do about it. 

Kind of feel like dining out tonight but I think that would be a bit much so I will be staying home and eating something canned or frozen.  My desire to eat comes and goes but I really could easily skip eating for a day or longer as long as I wasn’t taking my diabetes meds.  I am wondering with the coughing if I have a pneumonia setting up, that combined with how I have been feeling and the lack of appetite kind of takes me back to my childhood when I had pneumonia but I do remember feeling much worse.  Perhaps COVID and it’s remanence is just taking a bit longer to work it’s way out of my body.  I will be much happier when it’s all gone and life goes back to normal. 

I do not look forward to playing catch up at work it will be almost an impossible task but I know that it will be there waiting for me regardless of when I actually return.  Returning to work is so far off my radar now but I know that is the goal I am shooting for.  I don’t want to rush things but I am also kind of tired of lying around and flipping through the channels for content to consume. 

Hope that your staying warm and doing well.  Have a great weekend!

Still Fighting

Yesterday was the first day that I could feel remarkable progress.  I feel a bit more normal but I am still dealing with weakness/dizziness, fatigue, sinus issues and the hallmark of COVID the cough.  I’ve been telling myself since Saturday that I would get to the grocery store on Sunday, then it was Monday.  Long story short I finally made it today.  I spent a hell of a lot of money, forgot somethings and made it home.  I was exhausted and wound up taking a nap.  It’s a simple trip that shouldn’t take that much out of me.  The one thing I noticed is that my jeans fit a little bit better.  The gastrointestinal component of this mixed with constant sinus soup does make ones stomach ache. 

I heard from a colleague that a team meeting was called with the big boss today.  It turns out our boss has COVID as well.  That is well over 1/2 of our team that has had it.  The big boss did tell everyone that I wouldn’t be back until the end of February. 

I am so confused by my leave.  The company that handles this for my employer originally told me that I was good to go until the end of February and now they are saying I am only good until the middle of the month.  That’s probably because my doctors office submitted the paperwork with 2 different dates.  I wrote the company tonight and in a couple days I should have an answer.  I’m also interested in how I am going to be paid because were getting very close to that point.  It’s about time to pay bills again. 

My colleague from work sent me a text message after not hearing from me for a day.  We normally talk each day but it’s always me calling him.  My other friend hasn’t bothered to do any follow up with me.  I did call him but got no answer and he never bothered to reach back out.  He is quick to text but never calls and I’d figure he would be checking on me.  This is a disappointment and I have had some depression over it.  I had thoughts of calling it quits because at the end of the day it doesn’t seem like I really matter to anyone.  My employer wants me back only because I serve a purpose there (and boy howdy everyone now knows exactly what I do and they are drowning without me).  I think of my furry friend and that is what always manages to stop me. 

Speaking of furry friend, she loves to sit in my lap and she falls asleep hard.  It’s like daddy is protecting me, she lets her guard down and away she goes.  I try that and she is the one to wake me up.  I usually do wind up sleeping with her in the chair.  She for some reason doesn’t like the bed, I think it’s too high for her.  She won’t jump up either but she will jump down.  She is taking her medicine and we haven’t done any fluids.  She stays well hydrated with her fountain.  I need to clean and change it, that is a task for tomorrow.  I am only a week over due. 

I continue to absorb content via streaming services.  Netflix informed me that they are increasing their price next month and I am not terribly happy about that.  HBOMax has The Chipmunk movie from a few years back, I never saw it and watched it last night.  It was really cute and entertaining.  I saw Guess Who’s Coming to Diner with Bernie Mac and Ashton Kutcher the other day.  That gave me some belly laughs (which are rare).  Sure do miss Bernie he was a great one to make me laugh.  I’ve also tuned into Euphoria, I want to watch from the start of the series but haven’t been able to bring myself to do that. The TV goes off and on multiple times a day and I am sure getting my use of my ROKU and even watched the GAYVN awards casting my phone screen to my ROKU.  It was a good time, I don’t usually watch award shows but this one was of interest. 

I also listen to music on Spotify and have found a lot of old songs from the 80’s and 90’s that manage to entertain me.  I always wind up with a bit of a neck ache after listening from all of the head movement I do.  I really get into the music if it’s something I enjoy. 

Sorry that I haven’t been posting more but this COVID thing has really knocked the life out of me.  I get up feed the cat and watch some TV.  Then eventually I will either have breakfast or skip it, depending upon my mood.  Then I have a late afternoon meal that serves as lunch & supper.  I snack a little bit at night.  I need a haircut I look like a wild man who just woke up because my hair is doing it’s own thing.  I made the mistake of stopping pounding the fluids so I am getting back to that.  The antibiotic my doctors office called in seems to be helping a little bit as well.  I picked up some Vitamin D today from the grocery store they say that will help with recovery as well.  I just want to get back to my old boring self and feel 100% instead of 50% that I am at now.  Laundry is also piling up around here, it’s the only thing that waits for you. 

Hope that your safe and well.  I will talk with you all again.  Stay warm!

The fight continues

I had a virtual doctor visit today and my disability paperwork has been completed.  I am off work for a few weeks, if I get better I can get things changed and go back sooner.  If this thing isn’t out of me in a couple weeks then I guess it’s moved in to stay.  I got new symptoms this morning, the dreaded diarrhea and it seems to be sticking with me.  I eat and then it’s like my body just shreds what I put in it.  I am for sure taking something to bring an end to that. 

On the off chance there is something bacterial going on an antibiotic was called in for me.  Turns out my insurance used to cover this but now does not.  I need a slightly different version in order for it to be covered.  I’ve called and let the doc know that.  If it isn’t changed tomorrow then I will send a message, which seems to get a quick response.  I need to refill my sleeping pills and I would rather make 1 trip out than 2. 

As for getting out, I have no plans other than the essentials of mail, cat food and groceries.  If I begin to feel better I may chance it but right now I much prefer to stay home.

Gator seems to be liking me sick.  She woke me up at 2a and asked for food.  I just fell into a nice slumber and because of her I was up for a couple hours before I could go back to sleep. 

I am consuming all kinds of content on the streaming services.  I just finished The White Lotus on HBO.  I am hooked on The Righteous Gemstones.  Steve Harvey’s attempt at court with Judge Steve Harvey is also pretty good.  I am running out of things to watch and it seems like when I say that out loud something manages to catch my eye. 

I chatted beefily with a co-worker and things are still falling apart at work.  I told him that I probably wasn’t going to be back for a few more weeks which didn’t go over that well.  Youth has its advantages and since I am not in my prime it takes longer for me to bounce back, plus take into consideration the other health conditions I have.  I think people will have a new found appreciation for what exactly it is that I do.  I do not miss all of the silly bullshit and mindless meetings.  I do however miss some parts of my job.  I still would like to walk away but know that is not reasonable, so I will go back but I am not rushing things, just take it day by day focusing on me and not work.  I know that if I would fail to come back or drop dead they would for sure replace me.  This is the one true way that I can get some me time in and not have to have any worry, plus turning off my phone brings great pleasure to me then the only one who can disturb me is Gator. 

Well time to get back to the TV this is as much fun as I can stand for the day. 

Goals for today

I really wanted to get up early, get breakfast and take a shower.  Then get dressed and catch up on laundry as well as get in front of the computer.  Things didn’t quite turn out the way I wanted but I did accomplish getting in front of the computer so my bills are paid and I was able to get paperwork off to the doctor.  I’ve asked for a follow up visit and am waiting to hear back.  I know it will be a virtual visit and that is fine with me. 

The cough was gone but is now back, my headaches are returning, I am sweating at times and believe that I still am getting a fever at times.  In general I don’t feel the greatest, although now that I have been up and moved around a bit this afternoon I feel the best I have all day.  I get short periods like this when I think the worst is over, then I go to bed and wake up – the nightmare returns the next morning.  I am also weak and my thinking is off a bit.  I second guess myself a bit more and that doesn’t really help much.  This is starting to feel a little like Pneumonia because my appetite is gone.  I am forcing myself to eat but I am not eating a whole lot.  I really think I need some extra help from some antibiotics or steroids to help speed things up a bit.  I really want to get rid of this but I know that isn’t something that is going to happen over night.  I am not really in a huge hurry to get back to work but I don’t want to be gone a horribly long time either because the catching up will be sheer hell.  Things are falling apart and I think that will give people some better appreciation for me and what exactly it is that I do and how well I do it.  Not bragging but just stating a fact.  

Gator has been by my side all day and I think in her own way she is trying to take care of me because she knows I don’t feel the best.  I really like it best when she passes out and is quiet.  That is when I am able to relax the most.  She keeps me up throughout the night and that doesn’t help things much.  Sleep is a key part of recovery but I can’t seem to impart that to her. 

I am amazed that I am still able to find content to watch on streaming services.  I emptied out my DVR this afternoon.  I just want something to entertain me and make me forget about my present life, if only for an hour at a time.  It’s nice to take the focus off of my reality.  

As you can well imagine my sex drive got up and left with this whole mess.  I’ve fallen behind on the latest porn scenes, the news from the industry as well as all of my social media.  I can go days without social media but it too helps to serve as a distraction.  I had my first sexual dream last night and it was nice.  I imagine when my sex drive returns I will try to make up for lost time. 

Being alone and getting ill like this is the most scary part.  No one is really checking on me and if something happened to me, it would be days to weeks before anyone would find me.  I not only want to get over COVID but I will be eager for COVID to get more under control and become a thing of the past so I have a chance to get out and make some friends so that when times like this fall I will maybe have a human to lean on or even talk to on the phone.  We all need someone. 

Back to the TV and Gator for now and eventually back to bed.  I’ve lived in my bedroom the whole time and I am kind of sick of it.  This is the first trip to the basement I have made since the 5th when I was last down here for work.  Seems like that was a horribly long time ago.  Time passes by so fast and one day blends into the other more so when you don’t have anything to do but lay around.  Laying around is nice but working keeps the mind exercised.  I do like the time off but really wish I was well and on vacation rather than on an leave of absence due to an illness. 

Here’s hoping that tomorrow is a better day!

I got COVID

It feels embarrassing to say but I was tested and diagnosed last Sunday with COVID.  This started on Wednesday the 5th in the evening I took a shower, which was normal.  When I was done I developed the worst neck ache of my life.  The next day when I woke up it felt like I was run over or kicked by something.  I cared about nothing, everything hurt and all I wanted to do is go back to bed.  Friday thins weren’t much better.  Saturday I felt on top of the world but that was short lived. Sunday I woke up and felt like crap again. 

My upper teeth began to hurt and I thought perhaps this was a maxillary sinus infection, which I tend to get.  I started with a phone call to my doctors after hours exchange and spoke with a nurse.  She told me to visit an urgent care and I figured if I was going to do that might as well hit up the ER.  I got dressed and drove an hour to the hospital, thinking the whole time that I was wasting my time and crazy for doing this. 

I got there and felt much like death, translated that into English with my symptoms.  The place was a ghost town but I still had to wait for a room to open, which didn’t take long.  The first thing they did was run a respiratory swab on me.  That is the OG COVID test with the QTIP up the nose and they had to turn it a couple times it was by far the worst test I have ever had done.  A doc came to see me, ordered a chest x-ray. 

My phone started chirping with alerts.  I got the results of my x-ray about 15 minutes after it was done.  The respiratory swab came about an hour later.  I already knew what was wrong with me when I looked at the results.  It took them another hour for a doc to come tell me and they sent a supervisor.  I felt my sugar dropping and asked for some food.  I was told they would get me something but no food ever showed up.  An hour later they came to kick me out and it was home to lockup for 10 days. 

I had already missed 2 days of work.  I asked my boss for a few more days off to be out the rest of the week.  I told him on a personal level what was going on.  He turned into a 1st class prick and made me turn myself into HR.  Since were going that route I figured might as well max this out.  I am on short term disability and can remain on it for several weeks and not loose a penny of pay.  I had to use 5 of my days but that’s it. 

My doctor won’t see me in the office because of the diagnosis they want to keep this out of the office.  He will complete the paperwork and I can meeting with him virtually. 

I ran out of food today and had to force myself to the grocery store.  That trip wore me out.  I am fatigued, have trouble concentrating and still have the whole sinus issue thing going on.  I generally don’t give a damn about anything.  This is the longest I have been in front of the computer in 2 weeks.  I haven’t paid bills or done anything other than laying around the house and cuddle with Gator. 

To add insult to injury starting Tuesday my employer is going to a 3 day in the office schedule and 2 days at home.  They were dumb enough to ask me where I think I caught COVID.  I told them you can walk outdoors, it’s in the air here and quite common.  Hospitals are full and this is the worst it’s been in 3 years since this whole nightmare started.  Thinking that would help things but the dummies are moving forward with this dumb ass plan to get everyone back in the office.  I am once again ready to quit between the stupid policy of being in the office and my boss it’s pushing me to my limits.  However, I need income so I will have to quell my feelings somehow. 

I am thinking that probably another week or two and I should hopefully be well enough to return.  I don’t want to rush my return because if i have to go back out I will need to use another week of vacation.  It’s not that I don’t have it but it’s not how I want to spend my time. 

I found out that another person on my team has COVID as well but he is working from home.  Shit is truly falling apart without me there and my email is also backing up.  The daily report that I was doing has ground to a halt and I know that it is going to be looked for since everyone is going back to the office.  I look forward to returning to work but I do suspect that I will be continuing to work from home for a bit longer before I join the rest of the monkeys in the zoo that is the office.  I do not look forward to pruning my inbox and playing catchup. 

I really didn’t plan to start the year out like this.  Things were going okay and then they this happened.  Just wanted you to know where I was and what was going on.  Here’s hoping that COVID leaves me sooner rather than later, that I am back on my feet and caught up.  I’m told that I will get some immunity from having it but because I had the 2 shots that is what saved my life and the reason why I wasn’t in the hospital.  I wish that I would have got my booster on my holiday break.  Once I am able to I will be scheduling that but I think I am a ways out from that.  I wish I never contracted this, it’s pretty close to pneumonia that i had when I was a kid and actually one of the side effects is a COVID pneumonia.  The one thing that sticks with you and is by far the worst is the cough.  The headaches were extremely painful. 

The one lesson I learned from this is that you can mix Tylenol and Ibuprofen.  They work better together to help with pain and fever reduction.  You can fact check me with a google search but I was surprised that a lot of people already knew this but I never knew this. 

Take care and we will talk again soon.  I’m not proofing this so hopefully there aren’t any typos and I don’t babble terribly much.  I kind of miss human interaction. 

Days 2 & 3

Spent day # 2 in my room for most of the day watching TV.  I did leave to make a Wendy’s run.  Their chili is so good but the batch I got tasted like it was missing something.  The burger was spot on, even if I did order a triple when it should have been a double.  Listened to some music before bed.  Thinking about a particular song I only know a few lines and can’t find it.  I thought for sure it was in my iTunes library but just checked and nothing stands out.  I hate quests like this because they drive me crazy. 

Day #3 started off early, my body thought it was back to work but my mind knew otherwise.  I got up and fed Gator, then she joined me and we watched TV.  There was no going back to sleep but I did manage to nod off for a short time.  Eventually around 9a I got up and went out for breakfast.  The Cracker Barrel app said that my local store had no wait.  I got there and of course the one time I didn’t do a mobile check in, there was a wait.  Saw a couple hotties, which made the wait worth while.  Most of the food was okay but the Hashbrown Casserole was served cold.  I didn’t bother to complain because lately the casserole has gone down hill. 

I hit up the grocery store after having breakfast.  My stomach was a bit queasy but I made it through the grocery store with no problem.  I figured with it being a Monday the shelves would be stocked and it would be a light crowd.  The crowd wasn’t light and the shelves were bare, especially in the prepared food isles.  They had very little and nothing that was of interest to me.  It’s going to be a long week because I don’t have a lot of things to snack on but managed to get out of the store with a few items for me, a little bit of cat food for Gator and spent $54.  Not terrible. 

It’s really cold out, like now is when I wish I had put up the plastic on the windows and yeah I could have done that today but not what I wanted to spend my time on.  I spent it with my girl, she ate some food in my room, she napped in my lap and I managed to find a couple of movies. 

Were presently in the middle of a movie, I paused it to hit up Olive Garden.  That was a mistake.  Service was lacking, all of my food came out at once.  I left stuffed but not feeling the greatest about my dining experience.  Then the drive home and here we are.  I had to do some work but now that is done I have the rest of the evening to myself. 

I need to shave, seriously my face is itching and it’s driving me crazy.  Once I start scratching it never ends, there is just no way to get ahead of the itch.  Matters not how much I wash my face, it’s fur and that just doesn’t sit well on my face.  If I could ever get past the itching stage I would grow a beard but I don’t think that is ever going to happen. 

I am headed back up to be with my girl and finish up our movie.  Hopefully, we can find one or two more to tide us until bed time.  I really don’t look forward to tomorrow because it’s full steam ahead back to work.  My boss was supposed to be on vacation but he is coming back and I am not pleased about that.  I like it more when he is away because he always adds in bullshit like meetings we don’t need or stupid tasks that no one really needs to do.  I have continually thought about changing jobs but for many reasons I don’t think that is a good idea.  If I can’t get over my sour attitude and work continues to be more of a burden than it normally is, I will give more consideration to it.  Right now I think it’s all about me being in a mood and the holidays.  Not to mention the looming mandatory back in the office days that are coming later this month.  COVID is out of control here and most of the states where we have offices.  I am hopeful our leadership will dial things back but part of me feels like they are hell bent on getting back to normal regardless if there still is a pandemic or not.  I think this has more to do with people revolting and wanting to work from home more rather than less.  At least my boss, despite his faults really wants to minimize everyone’s time in the office and he really only wants me in 1 day a week, which isn’t much but at the same time feels like a huge ask.   

For now I am still on my time so I am going to focus on me and my little furry girl.  I can’t stop thinking about how our time is limited together so I want to spend as much time with her as I can.  She is just getting old but like her mother, she is built tough and is still going strong.  She knows how to push my buttons and I know how to push hers.  Were great for each other.  Kind of wish there was another human here, at least sometimes but I have to be content with what I have.

Hope your year is going well and that you are staying warm.  Talk with you all again soon!  Hoping that happiness finds me sooner rather than later and that this can be a good year, once this COVID stuff is under better control.  Stay safe!

Day 1 of 365

I managed to stay up past midnight but didn’t watch any NYE events.  I took in the next season of Cobra Kai on Netflix.  I finished all of it in 1 night.  I started in the afternoon because it was a slow work day.  I went to bed probably somewhere around 1a.  Gator wasn’t terribly happy but that didn’t stop her from waking me up multiple times and then insisting that I get up at 7a because that is my normal time during the week.  Needless to say I didn’t have a restful nights sleep.

This morning I watched Being the Ricardo’s on Amazon Prime.  It was really interesting.  I am a huge Lucille Ball fan and have watched all of the I Love Lucy episodes.  They were really great TV.  After that was done I started watching The secret life on a cruise ship.  I eventually paused it and fell back asleep but that was well in the afternoon. 

When I woke, I got a shower and then dressed and headed off for cat food.  There weren’t many people out at all, it wasn’t like Christmas Day but you could tell that many people were at home, probably nursing a hang over.  After I got the cat food I felt my sugar dropping so I headed for food for me.  I hit up a new Mexican place and it was anything but great.  Service wasn’t the greatest, the food could have been better and they charged a surcharge for using a credit card.  Needless to say I won’t be back.  I felt my stomach grumbling as I returned to the car.  Not sure if it was what I just ate or the TV dinner from the night before.  I started walking in the door and my body some how knew where I was and signaled for the release.  I had a minor mess to clean up. 

After that fiasco was cleaned up, I took care of getting my Gator some food.  Then put the rest of her newly purchased food away.  The shelfs at cat food store are starting to show a little more stock but not by much.  I then took care of her litter boxes and then went back out for the mail.  Once home I sifted through what I got, which was nothing but bills and a Christmas card from a new realtor.  Back to the basement and then I did some playing on my own and finally got the dreaded jobs at work done.  It took me about an hour to do the work, including my stupid report.  What I took care of are the changes we new about.  There is always a second round but that doesn’t get published until we return and I expect it will be out this next week. 

As I type this I don’t exactly feel energetic.  I am headed up to grab a Gator Aid (the drink, not my cat) and see what I can find to watch.  I suspect that bedtime tonight will come much earlier than it did last night.  I plan to take care of my normal Sunday stuff unless I feel crappy.  Were supposed to have some snow and much colder weather to deal with in the morning, so who knows that might be a deterrent. 

I hope that your first day of the new year was great.  I will talk with you all again soon.  Happy New Year once again!