11 June 2013

Life Update–Tuesday

I don’t remember every little thing, so if this is redundant I apologize.  Friday I got paperwork in the mail about a $275.00 fee that the bank wanted since they sold the loan.  It’s something that I will have to pay.  It will be figured into the monthly payments and will amount to like $5 extra per month.  His attorney had to figure out how I am supposed to sign the documents to revise the Bankruptcy plan, since I am not the debtor. 

I have gotten so many bad vibes from this guy and I used him as my attorney.  I honestly think he makes it up as he goes along.  I tried to call another major Bankruptcy firm in the area.  They have so many prompts you are stuck in prompt hell.  So I did the next best thing and drafted a letter.  I spoke in very generic terms but advised them of the situation.  I asked if I was being given correct advise and if I wanted to switch attorneys if that was something that was allowed.  I have started to rethink the whole keep on paying.  Why should I have to pay for debt that is NOT mine.  I know my guy wouldn’t want that.  I anticipate an answer later this week or early next week, if they are going to respond at all.  My intention isn’t to disparage anyone but to make sure that my best interest is taken care of.

I looked at his payments into the system and just with quick rough figures he has already paid in $10,000.00.  I am going to research this more in depth and if the figures are correct I will ask the attorney to move for the hardship discharge – that would bring an end to this rather quickly.  It’s all just a bunch of BS and people seeing how much money they can obtain from me.

I got a phone call a bit ago from one of the guys that I saw over the weekend at the flea market event.  He told me that he had a buyer for the large item I was selling.  That guy called me and asked me what I wanted, I told him the price hadn’t changed since the event.  He didn’t want to pay that.  He went into this story about each time you turn it on you run the risk of the drivers blowing and it would cost $300 to replace them.  Yeah, you cheap fuck you just don’t want to part with your money.  I asked him to make me an offer and I heard this BS followed by he wasn’t interested.  I have no idea why he chose to get my hopes up and waste my time.  I will go lower but not much more than what I am asking for.  Once I list it on eBay the price will be firm and I won’t back down.  I have to be firm and not waffle, otherwise people will sense it and take advantage of me. 

I checked the bank this morning and the Mortgage check cleared yesterday but it didn’t post until this morning.  I am totally okay with that, as long as they got the money and I got credit for it.  That is all that matters to me.  Now it’s just a matter of remembering to send the check to the new place and allowing enough time for it to get there.  Maybe they will talk with me later this week and we can start working on lowering my payments. 

Each day I grow a little bit more tired of fighting.  I heard a story yesterday on the radio that a kid drank a Quart of Soy Sauce because a friend dared him.  The kid went into a coma.  He was taken to the hospital and they managed to save his life by pumping him full of sugar water.  I thought what an easy way to end it all.  I really do want to give up, too many road blocks, too much red tape and way too much pain & heartache.  The only thing that keeps me going is the kids.  Otherwise I think this would have ended a long time ago.

I know I am a downer right now and lots of people flee.  I can’t say that I blame them.  We all suffer, we all have problems.  The difference is that I am sharing mine with whom ever chose to read this.  I’d like to know that someone outside of one person is ready this, it would go a long way in helping me feel a little bit better.

I did find the Flea Medicine and put some on Momma but it doesn’t seem to have helped at all.  Which is exactly what I expected.  I see she is still chewing her fur.  Poor girl looks like we will be going to the vet but I don’t have much hope they will be able to do anything for her.  I could be wrong but we won’t know until I actually make the appointment.  Something that I am putting off.  I realized that her and her children will celebrate their birthdays next week.  Wow, it’s not just me getting older.  It will be strange to celebrate their birthdays w/o my guy saying we will be getting them a Tuna cake. 

Last night on the way out of the office, I managed to leave the same time the cute guy next door did.  I popped out my phone and got a couple of nice photos of him.  I know it’s creepy, but that is just me.  I so want to approach him, even though I believe he is way younger than me.  I am not 100% that he is gay.  I do know that he knows martial arts so if I make him angry he could easily hurt me and not in a good way.  Taking a chance and moving forward is something I will have to do eventually.  I mean breaking the ice over FB and asking someone on a date was a step in the right direction.  However, doing it in person well it’s a little more awkward, especially if you have a crush on the person but don’t know if they are gay..  I’d really like to have a conversation with him, if only a friendship blossoms from it then no harm.  The bigger risk is that if he approaches my employer because he is offended or decides to do physical harm to me, I mean there are just so many variables.  Asking someone on a date isn’t sexual harassment. However, as screwy as my employer is I don’t trust them.

Speaking of my employer, I really wish that things would fall into place for me, so that I can move on to my next task, which is looking for a new job.  It’s not something I really want to do, but considering that the treatment here probably isn’t going to get better and my paycheck probably won’t grow that much, I think looking and leaving is probably the right thing to do.  However, until the legal and financial battles are done it’s not something that I can concentrate on.  I don’t want to get a new job and then tell them I have to take time off.  That just doesn’t work out so well in most places.  You have to be there for a while before you even think of asking for a day off.  If you tell them up front that you have a lot going and might have to take time off, you are shooting yourself in the food.  Most employers understand about the needs of life, however that doesn’t mean that they will be understanding in your situation.

I am so sleepy.  I had Turkey & Cheese for lunch.  I got my Lasagna & Garlic Bread last night.  Tonight it’s BBQ in a tub with Broccoli & Cheese.  However, if I am as tired as I am right now I may just make a TV dinner and call it a day.  Ready for a nap now.  My employer probably wouldn’t be too happy to see me sleeping on the job. 

One more thing, my hand looks a little worse.  There is redness around the knuckle and it was really driving me crazy this morning.  All is well at the moment.  This could be anything from Mrsa to a Spider Bite.  Chances are pretty good I will survive.  If things get worse I will get  it checked out.  I did find a good idea on line that said to apply ice, so I will try that tonight in the hopes it helps.  I really want to grab a knife and open it up.  I know it sounds like it’s the wrong thing to do, but when I do that to a normal bug bite, within a day or two it’s all dried up and there is nothing more to worry about.  No itching no pain, it’s just gone.  Maybe I should soak my hand in Soy Sauce.  I am willing to do most anything just to make it go away. 

Well speaking of going away, I have to get back to work.  Lunch time is so over with.  Down hill slide from here until evening comes.  No fresh hell in last nights mail.  Hoping for the same in tonight’s mail.  Wishing I was on vacation so I could take that nap.

The biggest question I have before I go is when will I get it all back.  Speaking of Physical, Emotional, Psychological, Spiritual energy.  I am so overwhelmed and exhausted right now.  Each day I keep going is a huge surprise to me.  I keep on thinking I didn’t think  could make it this far.   Talk with you peeps later!

1 comment:

Jude said...

I know so well the feeling that you have right now, not even comprehending how you've slugged along this far and needing nothing more than to just sleep and not wake up until it doesn't hurt anymore. Hang in there my friend, it WILL get easier. I know, cliche.... but it's the truth.

I hope the ice helps your hand, if not you may have to go get it looked at. I can imagine it's driving you crazy!