02 May 2016

Systems–Passwords- Scrambled Eggs for Brains

So it’s been an interesting day so far.  Tons of systems to manage, monitor and each one requires you guessed it a login and password.  Some passwords change and some do not.  It’s going to be a mess to try to keep it all straight but I think once I am used to it all that I will be fine.  I still have concerns that I might have stepped in deep water but right now I am fine. 

There are huge breaks in my schedule and at first I didn’t understand why.  Now I do, you need time to think about what you just learned and try to unscramble your brain to prepare for the next meeting.

Found out early this morning that my old boss is in the hospital.  It doesn’t sound good but all of the information I am getting is 2nd or 3rd hand so lots can get lost in translation.  I sent a well wish email and I hope that she makes it back home and is on the mend soon.  She is dealing with cancer and also has heart issues.  She is very well liked so lots of people have concerns. 

Light bulb moment for me with Momma.  She didn’t have her medicine before she was tested, of course the levels will be higher.  I called this morning and passed the information on.  Waiting to hear back.  Maybe I will need to medicate her and retest to be sure that all is normal.  I am speculating and that often doesn’t bode well for me.  So I will wait to hear back, I just hope they call at a time that I can talk and not during one of my meetings. 

Everyone appears to be okay. Bears barked at me this morning he is so lazy he didn’t want to go to his bed to pee, he had me lay down a pee pad in front of him and then he climbed on top of it.  Hey better that he goes on the pad than on the already ruined rug.  I need to clean the carpet again but want to make sure that it’s done at a time when things have normalized. 

My allergies have kicked into high gear.  My eyes are bothering me and my nose is a little bit.  I’ve updated the medication but still some symptoms persist.  All apart of the suffering.  Love the warmer weather but hate the pollen.  Wishing I could cut my own lawn that would save me money, get me a workout and both of those are things that I need to do. 

So far this week is off to a good start.  I pray it stays that way.  Getting ready to head back for more fun and another meeting.  I am already tired.  Slept with Insty and Marvin last night.  She is a huge cry baby and lets just say that I would have had more sleep without her by my side but she was more comfortable than I.  The things I do for all of them, you’d think that would give me good karma for life.

That is all I know at the moment.  I am looking forward to sleeping tonight and hopefully it’s with Marv he’s my snuggle buddy.  I don’t mind if Bear joins us but no girls they are far too needy.  I would really be amazed if Ruth wanted to curl up together and I think we would each enjoy that but don’t think that will ever happen unless it’s in a dream.  Speaking of dreams time to wake up and head back, ten more minutes of lunch left.  Talk with you all again soon. 

01 May 2016

Cats still going–my bank account is dead

We got to the do or die point, exactly where I didn’t want to be.  Bear has a 100% blockage of his bladder.  Surgery wasn’t required but they did have to use a catheter to drain his bladder.  I got him there in time, but if I would have waited any longer the outcome would not have been so good.  Typically cats with blocked bladders if not treated will die from all of the toxins that are in there system.  The bladder can also rupture and if that happens and you want to save the cat, you might want to go apply for a mortgage loan because it’s going to be expensive as hell and despite the cost there is no guarantee for a successful outcome.  In Bear’s case they drained the bladder, he was hospitalized and they pushed fluid to flush out his system.  He sat in the hospital for a day while the fluid went in and came out of him.  All of his output was normal.  They did blood work at the start of this and that showed elevated levels of potassium as well as issues with his kidneys.  After the 1 day was up, they redrew his blood and everything had normalized.  There is no kidney damage and that I find truly remarkable.  It’s like God is really watching out for him and despite the 9 lives rule, Bear just keeps on going.  I was told from the outset that I could shell out a bunch of money and still have a dead cat.  I am selfish and want to hang on to him for as long as possible.  We dodged a huge bullet and I am so very thankful.  There will come a day when we will not be so lucky.  He peed all over me once we got outside and he peed in my car.  I knew I should have brought the truck but I was eager to get him out of that place.  He’s been hamming it up ever since he has been home.  I have medicine for him which he takes with a little bit of a fight.  When they sedate a cat it screws with their bowels so they don’t go for several days.  That flood gate broke last night and I had another mess to clean up.  As much as I complain I would rather pay for pee pads, paper towels, baby wipes, food and give him my time.  He’s one very special cat and he knows it for sure.  He plays me like a fiddle and I let him because he is not only special to me but he was special to my late partner.  This was one of those times when I could have let go but it just didn’t feel right.  I’m told that when the time comes I will know it.  Well I hope someone hits me over the head with a hammer to get my attention because honestly I don’t want to let go now or ever.  Now I have to keep a close watch on him and if there is any sign that he might be blocked, he has to go back, he can’t afford to have a blockage again.  Honestly I can’t afford for him to have a blockage again. 

Momma went to the vet on Saturday.  She was last there in November and we did blood work then.  I could have easily gotten her medicine refilled without any argument but since she has been leaving me presents, that is her way of telling me something just isn’t right.  So they did blood work and sent me home with a refill of her medicine.  I just got a call with her blood work.  She was trying to tell me something.  Her thyroid level is elevated, which is not good.  We could increase her medication but there isn’t long term hope that it would work because it seems like an absorption issue with her body.  They want to try a new medication that is made for humans but would have to be compounded for her, it’s not cheap but I don’t have an exact price.  It acts like Prednisone but doesn’t have all of the side effects.  She already has a heart murmur from her Thyroid.  So this is the next best option.  I should have pricing information tomorrow and then can make a decision.  I am also considering have the radioactive treatment done and that would take her thyroid out of the picture.  It would be super expensive but it would prolong her life.  There would be isolation involved and I would probably have to take a couple days off work.  I really want to do what is best for her and best for my wallet.  The vets best guess is that if we do nothing that she will probably live 6 months to a year and then pass away from heart disease.  Momma is a tough bird and I need her so does Ruth.  So I hope the cost isn’t terribly expensive for the new medicine and that it works.  Provided I go that route we would recheck her thyroid in about a month and that would be another $100 for the blood work. 

Ruth is still playing me for special food but she has a new habit she doesn’t like to be watched when she is eating.  Watch her and if she figures it out she stops and just stares at you like she wants you to die.  If looks could kill I’d be dead now. 

Marv is hanging in there along with his sister Insty.  Everyone vies for my attention and now I understand how a parent with multiple children feels.  You love them all equally, you have your favorites but you try to give a little attention to everyone.

Tomorrow starts a new chapter for me at work.  I am excited but also a little fearful because there will be a lot of information coming at me.  I don’t know if I will be able to keep up but I am going to try.  My access changed on Friday night and I started to get emails that I have never gotten before, they are still coming in over the weekend.  Not everything looks super important but I don’t want to set up any rules to filter until I know for sure what’s what.  I am in training which means there will be very little actual work for me to do but that won’t last terribly long.  So right now it’s relax, take it all in and enjoy not having to do work.  I made a sign for my cube because I know people are still going to bother me and I can’t have that.  They have to follow the normal procedure and I know no one likes that because they don’t know the person on the other end and they don’t get personalized attention.  All of my former users are very spoiled and very sad that I was able to climb up.  They are happy for me but sad for themselves because now they have to start over.  Whomever they get to replace me I will be sure to let them know the secret to my success because if you keep your users happy, they will keep you happy.  You don’t want someone talking bad about you and I’m sure I had a little bit of that but I was showered with praise on a daily basis and who doesn’t like their ego stroked?  I mean I really thrive off of positive feedback.  I won’t get that as much so I will be starving as well which is another reason why I question if I made the right move.  Time will tell and I will give it a fighting chance.  Right now I am focused on the excitement of the change and the fact that I won’t be taking phone calls from people complaining about their pc not working.  My forte has always been End User Support.  Like anything if you get away from it long enough you forget how it’s done. 

Speaking of work the co-worker who allegedly told her boss that I was harassing her, got me all alone where there was no witnesses and told me that I shouldn’t have assumed she filed a complaint.  Her boss asked her and she told him.  Duh isn’t that the same fucking thing as filing a complaint?  I mean you could have said well it’s personal but no she had to open her clam and be honest.  She told me with her tits all in a knot that next time I should come to her instead of assuming.  I let her have her say.  I thought to myself bitch you have no idea but your dead to me, there won’t fucking be a next time so get it all out of your system, feel better because this was the last straw.  Another co-worker who is friends with both of us told me that I was rather quick to write people off.  I told her I didn’t do it without a good reason.  She has snapped at me twice and there won’t be a third time.  I don’t have time for bullshit in my life, I’ve been through far too much.  Which was the nicest way I could say look you take care of you and I will take care of me.  Now she is being distant with me as if she is mad at me.  Simply put I am not a door mat and you can’t walk on me, unless of course I let you.  Being alone for 3 years has hardened me (no pun intended) and I just won’t tolerate silly bullshit.  It’s easier and more fun to have friends and people in your life, but I have already proven to myself that I need no one but myself to survive in this crazy world.  I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life and I don’t want to alienate people.  I think I was more than fair here and even if I wasn’t my mind is made up.  There is no changing that even if you had a gun pointed to my head.  Once my mind is made up it’s done be it good or bad.  I’m hard headed and stubborn as the day is long.  Besides that I’ve already found out co-workers are ‘friends’ for the most part as long as you work together but the minute one of you changes jobs, it’s bye girl.  This particular person has promised to go out with me to a gay bar and to introduce me to her gay friends but she is all talk and no action.  Hell we have been supposed to go to lunch together for a year but she never tells me when she is free.  So walking away is what feels right and I am going to keep on walking and keep on talking.  It’s pretty clear we won’t miss each other even though she claims to be my friend. 

Ah, once again time has spiraled out of control and I didn’t get somethings done.  I promised the kids I would return upstairs and I am going to spend the rest of the evening finishing up a movie, watching Last Week Tonight and then hopefully getting a very good nights rest so that I am fresh for the morning.  Wish me luck and I will tell you how it goes when time permits. 

Here’s to a week filled with joy, good news and happiness – we all need and want it.  Let the sunshine in and dry up the rain! 

26 April 2016

Glued Shut?

Happy Tuesday!  I am worried about my Bear.  I believe his cystitis is back because he is trying to pee but nothing is coming out.  I felt a couple of drops over the weekend but I haven’t seen a solid stream since Friday.  That is a long time for a bladder to hold it.  I am wondering if his outlet (aka penis) is glued shut. You can tell he doesn’t feel the greatest but he is putting up a brave front and using that nervous purr to try to throw me off.  We even held hands and he put his claws out to grab on.  What a truly rocky road this guy has had and I am not sure why.  He’s the best cat and really doesn’t cause problems and is very laid back.  He will of course fight with family but outside of that he is just so sweet.  He is eating a little bit and drinking a lot.  I have my doubts if we are going to be able to hold out until Saturday to see the vet.  I am trying but if things don’t change then I think I will need to make the call to go over early.  Each time he gets sick I wonder if this will be the last time.  I really still want to hang on to him.  I know he wants to hang on to me.  I guess time will tell.

Ruth is back to her old self, she doesn’t like me to watch her eat but she sure begs for the food.  I give it to her and sit back to see what she is going to do.  She knows I am watching so she plays like she doesn’t like it.  Turn my head and look back in a minute she is packing it away like it’s going to be her last meal.  Everyone knows I am worried about Bear and I think they all know he doesn’t feel the greatest but so long as I continue to put food out they all seem content to eat. 

Work is very awkward this week.  I am so ready to move on.  Talked with my new boss yesterday he is a chatter box.  He told me that no one ever asked him about moving me and so unless I had an objection that I would stay put.  I am going with that for now.  If I have problems then I will address it and try to get moved but not sure that I would ever be as fortunate to get moved to an office, like I really want.  My hours are going to be the same and I can always re-address that and get to a different shift if I so choose.  That is kind of nice but for right now there is going to be enough change going on with learning I don’t want to put too much on my body.  Plus you have the whole Bear situation.  If something is going to go south with that there will never be a good time but I don’t want to have to take time off in my first week.  I know everyone will understand and it’s a new role not like I am a fresh face and starting day 1 with no seniority.  Still I don’t want to make a bad impression.  Very anxious to be off the whine line.  I know that a good portion of my days will be spent on the phone in conference calls, meetings and training.  However, that is totally different than taking a call from a user who’s computer ‘doesn’t work’. 

Last night I came home to my new trash cans.  One is for trash and the other is for recycling.  They are huge and I only barley have room to fit one of them in the garage.  So I will be doing some garage cleaning over the weekend.  Still only keeping the trash bin in the garage.  The recycle bin is on the deck and will stay there, I am not a recycler.  Sorry but it’s just not my thing.  We were all told that we should not use the bins until next week still people filled them up and put them out.  The trash truck came this morning and they passed everyone by that had used the new container.  There is going to be a lot of upset folks.  They are the same people that will be clueless about the pick up day changing.  Were supposed to get a post card this week to notify us of the new day of the week..  Not looking forward to that because your asking me to change something that I have been doing for 15 plus years.  However, with time I will adapt even if it takes a calendar reminder.  I still like the old way but I do see advantages of the new way.  I have to get used to it for a bit and then see how I feel.

In the way of food I picked up some Magnum raspberry ice creams bars from the store.  3 bars were $5 which is a bit much.  They are coated heavily in chocolate with a nice layer of raspberry inside.  I have only had one and could easily eat the whole box.  They are so good. 

There is a lot of work that I still need to do before the change next week but I have 0 motivation.  I am trying to just limp along.  I mean there is ample time to get it all done, it’s not like if it’s not done by Monday they are out of time.  It just means that someone will have to work at it … if I wasn’t changing roles I would still be taking my sweet time.  I’d get it all done by the mid May deadline but I just work at a different pace.  If you try to rush through it you will miss something and that will make someone mad and have to call for help.  Do I plan to dump most of this work off on someone, yes is the answer.  They would do the same thing to me if the tables were turned.  Besides that what if I was leaving to start a new job at a new company it’s kind of no different.  I have been pushed by a couple people to speed it up but we ran into problems last week that I didn’t help.  There are a total of 5 machines to change out.  I have 1 pretty well done.  Moving on to #2 today and then we shall see where we go from there.  Coming to work this week feels like I am on vacation but still required to work.  I am giddy about the change and ready to get on with it. 

Enough ramble back to the fun.  Watching my bear on the cat cam.  He is sleeping.  I look forward to being able to pet him, hold his hand and try to reassure him that everything is going to be okay.  Plus it would be nice to come home to clean up a mess, nothing huge but something so that I know we are on our way to recovery.  Never wanted to clean up urine so bad. 

Hope all is well in your world.  Happy Birthday to my only commenter – Jude!

24 April 2016

Punishment for my reward

I feel as if I am being punished for my promotion.  Ruth started to act funny about eating and actually lost her appetite.  I have her back to nibbling and I think she will be eating soon.  My heart was skipping beats over this.  This morning I found Bear in his bed, he was awake and alert.  He didn’t want to eat.  I drug him out of bed and put the food in front of him, still nothing.  I changed food because he often doesn’t like the first dish.  Again nothing.  Now I have 2 cats that are headed for trouble.  I get home from the grocery store and Bear started to eat but he is straining to go to the bathroom and he is dribbling again.  That tells me the Cystitis is back.  Poor guy he’s been to hell and back a couple times, you’d think the universe would give him a break.  What I want to know is why can’t something good happen in my life without anything else negative happening?  I deserve happiness and actually need it more than the average person.  I too have been to hell and back a couple times.  I just can’t lose a cat or even two right now, the timing is poor.  I found out last night Momma has diarrhea.  So really only Marv and Insty are healthy.

I felt bad but I think I figured out Ruth’s problem.  The water filter wasn’t changed on schedule.  Seems that some type of bacteria will build and one or more of them will get sick if I don’t change it every 4 weeks.  With my back being out of whack I totally forgot it.  This just served as a reminder to order more filters, so I took a break and did that. 

Now that I know my income is going to increase I seem to have no trouble spending money that I don’t even have yet.  Amazon loves me but I can tell you I won’t be terribly pleased when the bills roll in.  However, there are needs and wants – some of my spending is a little bit of both. 

Last night I was treated to dinner by a couple friends and we went to Maggiano’s.  I saw a cute guy I used to work with.  I said hi to him, we shook hands and had a quick couple words.  Then my friends looked at me and said do you know him?  Uh I greeted him by name and he’s not wearing a name tag.  Of course I know him.  Wow!  It was a good dinner.  I got Baked Ziti and took home Fettuccini Alfredo.  Desert was a double chocolate brownie with ice cream and fresh strawberries.  It was the best part of the whole meal.  It’s been a very long time since I have been to Maggiano’s and I always look forward to going back. 

My friends that I went out with are both actually former co-workers in a job many moons ago.  So I took my new job description with me and asked them to look it over.  I asked if they thought I was in over my head?  They both said no.  It will require me to learn some stuff that I don’t know but I shouldn’t struggle.  I was pleased to hear that and I don’t think they were just telling me what I wanted to hear.  I sort of feel like I will be in over my head, probably at first because there will be so much information coming at me.  However, long term I really feel I will do fine.  The big question is can I get over the withdrawal from the daily people interaction.  Sitting all day staring at a screen isn’t exactly going to be fun, but then again maybe it will be. 

Tomorrow will mark my last week in my present position.  Then the following Monday I will start my new adventure.  I am slated to talk with my new boss tomorrow afternoon and looking forward to that.  Apparently there are a lot of meetings to attend and there will also be a lot of phone time – so I shouldn’t be bored or have any free time like I do in my present position.  Not 100% but I think they are going to wait 2 months maybe longer before putting me in the on-call rotation which will be nice. 

Well time to get cracking on cleaning up this house.  Not something I want to do, I am in a pretty relaxed mood.  I did get rid of a few broken electronic items.  Of course after I am done I think of other things but they will have to wait until next year.  The bigger problem now is that I didn’t get my new trash can and it was supposed to be here by Friday.  In fact they skipped our whole subdivision.  I’m not sure anyone is worried about it but I am so I will be calling tomorrow.  Because starting next week we have to use them or they won’t pick up the trash.

Hope your having a great weekend and have a great week ahead.  I will do my best to make sure that things go great for me, but there is only so much I have control of.  Take care and we will talk again soon!

19 April 2016

The News I have been waiting for

Well it’s official, I have the new job.  I got a decent offer it’s not what I asked for but it is more than I am making now and it will be the most money I have made in my entire life.  Finally after all of the bad something good has finally happened.  I am numb.  There is fear of the unknown but that comes with any new job.  I really don’t know my new manager that well.  The manager I have today is awesome and we are very close.  I will miss her.

It’s tough to keep it quiet but I have to.  I was able to tell a few people but the rest of my team won’t know until tomorrow.  I don’t know when everyone else will be told but I know it will sadden a lot of people because I won’t be their support person.  They are going to hire a replacement for my position so that is a good thing.  I hope that it is someone that is as responsible and responsive as I am, otherwise they won’t be a good fit.

Privacy and confidentiality are roles that come with my new job.  I am eager to get started but also a little nervous.  There is a lot of training and it’s going to take a while to get up to speed.  I found out that from the looks of things I won’t be moving and will still maintain my same cube but that is kind of a curse because everyone is used to coming to my desk and I will have to point them in another direction.  I also really wanted an office but hey it’s not the end of the world. 

I am sure everything will work out fine and my nerves will settle down, it’s just going to take time.  The real discipline will come to the extra money in my paycheck.  I have to force myself to save it and not spend it.  Even though I have spent some of it with my retail therapy.  Thankfully I didn’t go hog wild and buy a new car.  But that is my goal, get comfortable and once everything is going well I plan on getting that new car, it will be bitter sweet, just like the change in positions.

I really wish that I could tell my late partner the good news but some how I think he already knows.  It just sucks that I can see the facial reaction and get a hug from him.  Well it’s going to be a long night I have to call a couple of friends and let them know the good news.  Hopefully my one friend won’t keep yacking forever. 

Hope that all is well in your world and we shall talk again soon.   

Still Waiting

It’s probably not a surprise to you that I am still playing the waiting game.  Close of business on Monday, my ass.  I am starting to wonder if they are ever going to tell me anything or if I will just be left in a perpetual state of wondering.  Honestly it’s starting to really annoy me.  We have a team meeting tomorrow and typically they make announcements in the meeting, but usually the people who are getting the promotion and those who didn’t get it have already been informed.  At this point nothing really would surprise me, unless I actually got a phone call that said we want to make you an offer.  In an effort to get even I would be tempted to say let me think about it and get back with you tomorrow by close of business and then not call until mid afternoon on the following day. 

The one good thing that did happen yesterday is my Pearson Specter LItt polo shirt showed up.  It’s the name of the Law Firm on the USA TV Show Suits.  I paid a pretty penny for it and it looks great.  I have to send it through the laundry and then I will be wearing it proudly.  I am interested to see what reactions I get, if any.  Sort of like when I bought my first gay pride shirt – though Suits is not a gay themed TV show.

Over the weekend I had to do some retail therapy and I feel horrible about it.  I bought a new pen, well it’s actually a rollerball.  It was something new on sale and I saw an email and had my eye on it.  I actually wanted one red and one blue but I just bought the red one.  It was only $35 but still I really don’t need another pen.  It would be like buying a new porn movie, I don’t need that either.  I have my vices just like anyone else but they aren’t common.  Still I am looking forward to it’s arrival later this week.  I also bought some other things but none of them are used to write with or to have sex with.  So I guess I did okay there. 

I spend money after holding back and feel guilty knowing that I will have a vet bill to pay soon and that won’t be cheap either.  I am in a horrible state right now.  Feeling alone and wishing I had a man to come home to and feeling frustrated over the job situation.  I know it will all work out soon enough but I am an instant gratification junkie as well.  Shame I can’t make things happen in my time.

Ah well off to work and who knows maybe today will be the day.  I can’t tell you how many times I have said that and at the end of the day I am still left waiting and wondering.  My thoughts go from good in that well maybe it’s the approval process to bad in that I didn’t get it and they are working with the other guy and once he accepts then they will tell me.  At this point it’s anyone’s guess.  If I ever hear I will be sure to post about it. 

Happy Tuesday!

16 April 2016

HTTPS available now

So if for some reason you want to view my blog using HTTPS (Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure, and instead of acting as its own application layer protocol, it uses separate protocols called SSL (Secure Sockets Layer) and TLS (Transport Layer Security).  It is now available.  Not just for my blog but for all Blogger blogs, provided the blog owner has enabled this.  I just learned about it and turned it on. 

Happy browsing!