19 September 2014


So I also had a lunch date this afternoon.  It was just lunch with a co-worker.  I thought she might have more of an interest in me, but it appears not to be the case.  That is a good thing.  We just chatted up a storm.  Before you knew it, time to go back to work. 

I am kind of hoping that is how things go tomororw night.  For my saftey I have a friend who is going to check on me.  I've passed on who I am meeting, where we are meeting, the time of the meeting, and other details like my cell phone number and my car license plate as well as the phone number to the police department where we are meeting at.  If something should go awry, there is enough information there to track me down.  I know they trace/ping cell phones all of the time to find people.  I even gave my friend a duress code word, so even if I answer and things aren't fine but I have to pretend that they are, I just work this specific but odd ball word into the conversation and when we hang up, she will call the police.

The more I think about it I kind of feel silly in asking my friend to check on me but then you here horror stories so I feel it's a good idea.  I've reached out to another friend and told him as well as my brother.  I didn't ask them to check up on me, but there should be plenty of people to call me on Sunday or maybe even later on Saturday night to say how did it go?

The harder part about this is that I have 2 guys and I can't tell one about the other for obvious reasons.  I feel like I am being deceptive but it's more like I am keeping my options open.  I know that I can't have them bothh but on the other hand if I am the one who says sorry this isn't working or going to work that will make me feel very bad.  I know what it's like to be rejected and it's even worse once you break through the shell and get to know the person.

I find myself watching the clock like crazy.  I am so ready to go home and start the phone call with Jason tonight.  He is the one out of the two of them that is the most aggressive.  He is also mixed and I have not seen a face picture.  He asked me if I prefer white people and I told him that I do but it's not so much about as to what is on the outside, I mean looks are what attract us, but it's what is on the inside as a person that matters most as well as if we have chemistry.  We both could be in the best shape, have rock hard bodies, meet and discover there is no spark.  These two guys could just be the tip of the iceberg and there may be many more that I have to go through to find Mr. Right.  

I will admit that I do have a bit of a concern about dating a mixed person.  I mean it's sort of like asking for trouble but the heart wants what it wants and there is no changing that.  

The job search is out of the way.  The house loan is in process to be changed over.  The guy search might be over with.  Who knows I may be in Utopia soon if it all works out like I want it to.  I want to be happy for the rest of my life and having someone to spend life with makes it even better.  Dating in my own age range or younger means that health issues are less likley and if I am the older one then I would be more likley to go first.  The whole thing is I know what it's like to be left behind.  I know what its like to be hurt.  I just don't want to put that burden upon another person.

Ah well, its almost time to get back on the phones.  Then 1 hour count down until I get to leave.  Not real sure what I am having for supper, if I will even eat at all.  I am kind of nervous.  Oh and I have setup alias e-mail accounts as well as a Magic Jack # so no one will be able to reach me if things go wrong.  I won't provide my real information until I am certain there is a future.  You can't make that assumption off of 1 meeting/phone call.  It will take months.  Its sort of like living a lie because you have to remember oh use xyz email address or use xyz phone number.  Memorizing all of that information is kind of a small task.  If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.  :)

Have a good weekend and I should have an update posted on Sunday sometime, provided time allows.  Otherwise look for one by Monday night.  Take care and enjoy your weekend!

The First Date

So the app my therapist recommended, has yielded me 2 guys.  Both ironically w/o face pictures.  The first guy is Jason he is mixed.  I haven't seen a face picture yet.  We are going to talk by phone tonight.  He is really giddy about it.  I don't know a lot about him yet but suspect that will change tonight.  He actually wanted me to text him but rather than play the silly game of back and forth I would rather cut to the chase, life is too short and I am too impatient.  

The second guy is Dave he is younger than me and divorced.  He says he is BI but I honestly think he might just be hiding behind the label.  He says that he has always preferred guys.  My late partner said the same thing and it took me a couple years to make him see that he was gay and not BI.  In any event we did the chat thing and back & forth last night.  Things were going so well that I just asked him if he would like to meet in person.  He was all about it.  However, rather than a public place he tried to get me to come to his home.  I said nope.  Neither one of us has any assurances that the other person isn't a psycopath.  You hear horror stories all the time and rather be safe than sorrry.  So we are going to meet at a resturant.  Then he tells me that he is broke and can't afford his meal.  Okay, I understand that.  I said if you can come I will be happy to pick up the check.  I set the record stright from the get go.  I'm not buying you dinner to get into your pants and there are absolutley no strings attached to my offer.  We meet and if we make a connection and things go right, then you can repay me.  If there isn't a connection well then consider it a favor. So Saturday night 6pm ...wish me luck.   He sent me a face picture and he's not bad looking.  Think he might be fat like me, so we should be a good match from body types. :) 

I wasn't really affected by any of this last night but today I seem to have a little extra pep in my step.  I am kind of excited to see what happens, as my life unfolds before my eyes.  I also kind of feel like I am cheating but I've felt assurances that is simply not the case.  I know my guy would want me to move on, in fact we had a conversation about this very topic.  Ah, I'm tearing up.  I miss him so much and the thought of him not coming back is continually sinking in.  All I can hope for is that I meet someone who is just as nice, kind and loving as he was.  Then my world will be almost perfect. 

Okay time to change gears and shift into work mode.  Happy Friday!

17 September 2014

A couple other quick things

Wow work is sure werk and drains me of my energy.  Amazingly enough I start out tired and by the time I get to work I am ready to start all over again.  Never knowing what kind of problem is coming my way or who I will interact with.  Thankfully most people are nice and understand that technology has issues and it’s not my fault.  I hope that pleasant interaction continues.

With regards to my last job, I found out that my sexual discrimination claim made it’s way to their door step.  They are denying that it is true, saying that I am going off of rumors about the female lesbian sexuality.  That they have a lesbian employed (never mind that she is the mother who’s daughter is sleeping with the boss, otherwise they would have canned her years ago).  They say that they gave me 2 weeks leave when my partner passed away and that should serve as sufficient evidence that my claim is baseless and has no merit whatsoever.  They also say that they are in fact still going out of business within the next month.  The company name is going to change and they are in fact still going to be in business.  They made a rather large purchase and have plans to stay right where they are today.  So while I might be able to refute some of their claims, I don’t believe that I have enough evidence to continue the charge.  However, I’m waiting to see how it plays out. 

I found out that my old so called friend, applied for unemployment again.  I can’t believe her.  She just wants to milk the system and the more that I hear about her, I see clearly that her performance around me was totally an act.  I feel so violated and taken advantage of.  However, the situation could have plaid out to a worse scenario.  Strangely enough I haven’t heard from her and don’t suspect that I ever will. 

I’m waiting for the bomb to drop about the HIPPA complaint that I have in motion.  They might be able to fend off me but they won’t be able to fend off the US Government so easily.  That will probably truly put them out of business.  Hopefully that drops any day now. 

Yesterday I got a notice that I have a certified letter to claim.  I won’t be able to claim it until Saturday and that is perfectly acceptable.  It was mailed on August 30 from a local zip code but wound up heading to NJ and then slowly making it’s way back to my neck of the woods.  It’s clearly been on one hell of a journey.  I am curious to know who it’s addressed to.  The post office put both my last name and my late partners last name.  Based upon the zip code I think it’s a collection notice for my late partners hospital bill.  If the letter is addressed to him only and it’s from the hospital, I will refuse delivery.  If it’s addressed to both of us, well that is another story.  I just suspect that it’s not good news waiting for me.  I mean if it was good news why would they send it certified mail?  People usually do that when they desire a signature and confirmation of delivery.  I know every time I have used it I wasn’t sending good news.

Okay well since that is off my chest.  I’m going to spend time with the family and prepare for Thursday.  No massage for me, I decided to skip it this time.  Besides that I can use that money to spend on getting my hair cut.

Oh I called Lawn Boy and he will be doing the trimming in a few weeks.  $200 because it’s going to be major work.  He is just making up for the fact that I didn’t call him last year.  However, he will throw away the old broken fountain that caused my late partner to break his back, for free.  How generous of him.  He will be by on the weekend to take care of it.  So something to look forward.  Maybe a little eye candy and a nicer looking exterior. 

Take care, talk with you again soon.

What a week

Today is only Wednesday.  I feel like it's stuck on Monday.  Althought Monday was a decent day.  Tuesday however started off bad and only got progressivly worse.  First, I was late for work.  Not my fault there was an accident and the back up went on for miles and miles.  I sat in a giant interstate parking lot for 2 hours as I played inch worm to my exit.  Then I got to work and throuughout the day our boss would send out e-mails yelling at us and making idle threats.  I dunno if it was her time of thee month but it didn't sit too well with me.  My job is still fine and all of the feedback I get is positive, which makes me wonder if I am in Utopia.  Not that I want negative feedback.  Oh, we have more missing equipment that I am searching for.  I really am starting to wonder who isn't doing their job.  Either it's the guy who takes care of the inventory or it was the guy who was here before me.  I would like to do a full inventory to clear the air, but I have to get approval for that and then she would expect me to do it during my non-phone time.  I would actually prefer after hours because it would impact people less and not to mention the process would go a whole lot quicker.  I've got 2 floors I figure about an hour per floor doing it all by myself.  Right now I'm not going to ask but if I keep seeing the same pattern then I will speak up.

Monday night I made a phone call that I believe will change my life for the better.  I called a Mortgage Lender and they did a quote over the phone.  They can save me $600 per month from my present house payment.  That is doing a FHA Streamline Refinance and extending the term from 15 years to 30, not to mention the interest rate is lower.  They say we can close by the 1st of the month and I can skip 2 payments so my 1st payment would be due in December.  That would be awesome.  I gave them my credit score from Credit Karma and it was slightly lower than what was showing.  However, each bureau is different.  The guy I talked with didn't account for the 2 months that I was unemployed but I spelled that out in a letter last night.  I've been consistent with making payments and have never been late.  That right there is what they are looking for.  The fact my Bankruptcy was 2 years ago doesn't matter.  I am beyond nervous about this thinking of all of the what if's and things that could go wrong.  However, this is something that I have been trying to make happen for a very long time.  I need it to come together and the sooner the better.  The place is going down hill from an appearance perspective both inside and outside but I am trying to do what I can.  There is no inspection or appraisal needed, so they won't know about the roof or the bathroom that needs to be finished.  However, they do require that the closing be done in my home to prove that I actually live there.  I mean the address is on file with the credit bureaus, it's on my drivers license, etc.  Okay come on by, just means that I will have to do some cleaning to make it some what more presentable than it is.  Running a house all by yourself can be a full time job.  There just doesn't seem to be enough money or time.  I will be calling Lawn Boy to trim the bushes, it really looks like a forest.  Hopefully he can get to it quickly.  There are no closing costs, well there are but they are hidden and built into the loan.  I will have to come up with a few hundred dollars to fund the new escrow account but outside of that there shouldn't be any extra money that I have to spend.

I have taken my iPad to work and am composing this at my desk on my lunch hour.  There is no fancy font or colors, but it gets the word out.  I actually enjoy having this here I am able to listen to Pandora while I work.  I probably could do that from my work machine but some places get concerned with bandwith usage.  This way I am on a guest network and its a completly different circuit.  So no harm, no foul.  Just as long as no one takes it I think I will be fine.

I had a very disturbing dream the other night.  I was talking to a freind of mine who decided to cut me off years ago.  I've been trying to figure out why but he won't talk to me.  I was telling him that I was gay and trying to justify it to him.  It was not a plesant situation.  Then I woke up.  I thought about sending him a letter and just coming out with it but I figured why waste my time.  I believe he stopped talking to me because of my sexuality and that is something beyond my control.  I never made any advances towards him.  However, I really wanted to.

Oh I got my expense money.  I decided to bank it instead of giving it to the credit card company.  Probably not a smart move but with some additional expenses in the works, I figure it seems much more of a sound movement.  I do plan on parting with some of it and giving it to them but that won't be until next month.  I am going to let them actually charge me interest.  I know I'm crazy but there is just something about having money in the bank that brings comfort to me.  

Tomorrow we have a Team Meeting and its taking place via Video Conference.  My boss has purchased lunch for everyone.  I got to pick from a menu this morning.  Looking forward to eating a Chicken Salad Sandwich.  I'm hungry just thinking about it and I just finished lunch.

Okay well I'm posting this because its about time to return to work.  Oh I got my $200 from AT&T for the old phone as well.  The catch there is you have to spend the $200 with AT&T so they have you locked in.  The money is on a Visa card but won't work outside of AT&T.  I can use it to pay my bill so what the heck, it's savings no matter how you look at it.  

Hope all is well in your world.  Talk with you peeps later. 

14 September 2014

Another week

So yet another week has gone by.  It was a 4 day week for me.  I called in on Friday.  I really didn’t want to but my neck was killing me and then in the middle of the night I woke up with a Charlie Horse in my leg.  I couldn’t get out of bed fast enough.  Once I woke up I could barley walk and a good portion of my job involves walking.  It was going to be a great day but that Charlie Horse screwed it all up for me.  I missed free pizza and ice cream.  Ah well, instead I took a muscle relaxer and slept away most of the day.  I was in a haze when I did wake up and wasn’t up but a few hours and then it was back to bed.

I went to see my therapist on Saturday.  It was a good time, I really wish I could see her to talk a little more but all in all things are good at the moment.  She is working one Saturday a month so I am limited to that, unless I happen to get a day off.  Like that will happen. 

Unless you have been under a rock or totally away from media, you no doubt know that Apple is coming out with yet another iPhone actually 2 of them.  The 6 and the 6 Plus.  This is when I take advantage of upgrading.  I am 1 model behind and its been 2 years since my last upgrade.  I spent this weekend with the upgrade process.  Saturday was waiting to find out that the type of case that I wanted, they didn’t make.  I was looking for a Mophie that offered full face protection.  Sorry, not made.  Mophie is a spare battery, so when your main iPhone battery kicks out, you flip a switch and presto you have a charged battery.  Sunday (today) I went to Best Buy and talked it over with a person there.  I was set to do the upgrade there but they didn’t have any phones for AT&T.  Okay, so I wound up getting a portable Mophie that runs off of USB – so it will charge any device.  Headsets, iPhone, etc.  Nice.  Then I went to AT&T and got the phone and the LifeProof case that I wanted.  I get a discount on accessories thanks to my late partner.  So it was a better deal.  They didn’t have the portable Mophies or I would have gotten that there.  I still kind of want to get a Mophie Case but it’s a huge investment.  They aren’t cheap and then I would want a docking station to charge the phone and a holster – you add it all up and your easily at $300 or very close to it. 

I was very shocked today when I was willy nilly just saying I will take this and that and then that sales person goes that will be XXXX and that is the part where I about fell over.  I could have gotten a new laptop but instead I spent my money on a phone.  The sad part is I don’t have the money to pay cash for it, which is usually what I do.  Still I moved forward.

Then I came home and got everything synced up.  The sales person at AT&T told me that they would give me $200 for the old phone if I brought it back before the end of the week.  I will be there tomorrow night looking to get rid of it.  They are offering me more than Gazelle and I can use every penny.  I like my old phone and it served me very well.  We went on flights cross country, I talked to my late partner before he passed many days at lunch, and made countless other calls.  It was there when he passed away as well.  So in many ways I think of having to use it in more bad times than good.  With that said I am happy to get rid of it.

The new phone well it’s all up and running.  I just have to get my corporate e-mail on it and that will happen tomorrow.  They will only let us have 1 device on it at a time.  That’s fine.  They also wipe the old device, so that means get your stuff off of it quickly.  Everything is on the new phone.  I just can’t seem to find a tribute video I made to #1 son.  I’m sure it’s there just have to dig for it and right now I don’t have that kind of patience.

The week over all was pretty good and fast moving.  I got caught up in a couple of shit storms and not to mention storms by mother nature.  It poured like a monsoon here 2 days both of which were in the evening when I was coming home from work.  It took forever to get home.  It’s bad enough if I get home ‘on time’ I have a couple hours but with the storm I had about enough time to scarf some food, feed the cats, scoop the boxes, prep lunch, brush my teeth and call it a night. 

I have seen a couple of really good movies.  Neighbors with Zac Efron, holy cow if you’re a fan of his this is the movie for you.  Lots of Zac footage and he is shirtless as well.  The movie just made me horny.  The other movie I saw was Brick Mansions.  It had Paul Walker in it.  This was the last movie that made it to production prior to his death.  It was really good.  He wasn’t in a sexy role so it was mostly fighting that you saw.  Still he had some moves.  I really miss him.  He was very good looking, young and had so much ahead for his future.  The film was dedicated to his memory.  I’m sure they will do the same thing next year when FF7 is out.  I look forward to seeing that as well.  Then there will be no more PW cinema to look forward to.

Speaking of sexy hot guys.  NPH is off the market.  Damn!  I am happy for him.  Glad he moved forward.  Now I have to work on finding me a man.  Speaking of which I got a new app via my therapist called Plenty Of Fish seems pretty neat.  They have a pay version but you can do a lot for free and free is what I am all about.  I have also started on Tinder and gotten a couple matches there.  No one will talk with me but we at least match.  They are younger guys who aren’t bad looking.  Shame they showed an interest but won’t respond.  Grindr is pretty well dead for me.  I still go looking but the wind has pretty much been let out of my sails.

Speaking of depression, I got my paycheck.  The credit card bill that I ran up while I was in orientation is due.  I don’t have enough money to pay it off, which wasn’t in my plans.  I didn’t get reimbursed yet and my money should be here now.  So I will be checking into that tomorrow.  I need it really bad.  Plus I think but am not sure that they allow us a device credit meaning when we upgrade our phones they will pay a portion of it.  If that is true it’s extra money that will be coming to me.  I am at least checking into it.  The worst they can say is no.

I got a collection call this week  Never thought I would be getting one of those again.  Turns out my $990 hospital bill from earlier this year when my doctor ordered blood work is still pending.  The idiots have yet to bill my insurance and they expect me to pay them.  I told them you bill the insurance company first, then what ever is left over I will happily pay.  Until we get to that point you won’t get a dime from me.  They said oh makes sense and that is usually how we do business.  They can’t understand why it hasn’t been sent for payment yet.  I said that is on your end and your problem.  Figure it out and then we can put this behind us.  Luckily I made contacts when I got my late partners medical records.  It’s the same hospital chain, so if I need to go up the ladder it will be just a couple phone calls away.  Right now I am not doing anything.  $990 for blood work is horrible.  I got the same work done at a local hospital here for $300 and turns out they processed the claim through insurance and I don’t owe them a dime.  Take that!

Heard from the mortgage attorney she wanted to know if I am able to keep up with house payments.  I said yeah doing okay at the moment.  Still want a lower payment.  I found out that apparently you have to be like 120 days past due before a lender will start the Foreclosure process.  I am sure that varies by state and by lender but wow that is a considerable amount of time. 

The weather has changed here, it’s fall like but summer is coming back.  Not that we actually had a summer.  Anyway, the bugs are flying and something got in the house.  We are all scratching!  I got bit in 2 places and am not happy about it.  Damn bugs!

I need a good shave and a nice hot shower.  Then to prep for Monday and relax.  Here comes another week.  Yippee.  Not exactly what I wanted, but each day draws us closer to the next major holiday.  I’m talking about Thanksgiving.  So looking forward to that!  I am also hopeful that I will have a date to bring with me, but even if not as long as I am with my friends and we get the same good food all is well.  Reservations have already been made.  I was so surprised when I was in Sam’s club yesterday Christmas decorations are already out.  Lord Almighty!  It gets earlier every year because it’s not about The Reason for the Season, it’s about $$$. 

Hope you have a great week!

06 September 2014

Can We Talk?

What happened between 09-01 and 09-06


I went live on the phones on Tuesday, which was also my birthday.  I got my fancy new Bluetooth Headset that I purchased all set.  The phone rang and I went to answer it, I hung up on my very 1st caller.  I didn’t bother to call them back.  I got things figured out with the headset because well if I hung up on everyone that would be a problem.

I don’t like the schedule that I am following.  First, I spend way more than 2 hours on the phone, it’s more like 80% of my day.  I get a couple hours to myself for local stuff, so I am free of the phones.  Telephone work is like a grab bag contest.  You may get something good (an easy fix) or you may get something that is a dud (a hard to figure out problem).  My last call came in just minutes before my shift ended and it was a hard to figure out problem that I got help with.  I wound up billing .75 in OT. 

I will admit that I have BS’d my way through a couple calls and people so far haven’t figured it out.  We had a staff meeting on Thursday and I found out that if I eat my lunch during the meeting I can call it working time and bill it as Overtime.  Well I am down for that.  So in the meeting someone mentioned how important it was to ask before you do anything when your on a users screen.  I kind of brought that with me from working in a similar environment.  Friday I guess I lost my mind because I was on someone’s screen and they had an e-mail that wouldn’t go.  It was stuck in their outbox.  I just hit delete.  The person was like did you just delete that?  Oh, shit yes I did.  Then I explained it wasn’t going anyway, which calmed them down.  That was close. 

With every ticket that is generated a link to take a survey about the person who helped you is sent.  I had a user who needed help, but instead of calling the central help desk he reached out to me.  I was away working on setting up and moving people.  I found the message on my phone and went to help him.  It was a password issue and an easy fix.  He said in the survey that I was ok, which is less than excellent in my response.  I wasn’t too happy about that, but it’s still a good survey.  Speaking of which it’s like a joke the whole taking a survey process.  Everyone always puts down Excellent even if your doing a shit job.  We get to review the surveys that apply to us and our manager sees them as well.

The next big milestone is going on-call.  That is going to suck!  Before when I have been on call the on-call phone rings and then you respond.  Here it’s voice mails and e-mails.  So your phone won’t ring, you get the voice mail emailed to you.  The good thing is it’s only urgent messages that require a response within 30 minutes.  Now it’s no secret that I have chronic insomnia but I haven’t told that to my employer.  Why scare them off?  I know I can do the on-call work but if I am up all night long, don’t expect me to show up the next day because that probably won’t happen.  I don’t know that they make exceptions.  Besides that I believe it will be a while before I am on-call, or so I hope.  I am not near ready yet.  You have to have time to work the phones and be exposed to all of the common problems so you know how to deal with them.


Well if you’re a fan of security you know that there was a major security flaw in Grindr.  The problem is that anyone could find your geolocation, i.e. where you were by simply asking Grindr’s servers.  You zoom in on a particular street in a particular town and poof, you get names and pictures.  Even if you turned location off on your phone.  That in some countries could equal a death sentence.  Thankfully that is not the case here in the US.  Still I don’t want some stranger showing up at my door or approaching me when I am shopping saying you live over on Xyz Street I saw you on Grindr.

So I dropped off of Match.Com because they were focused on money.  I still have Gay dot com and Ok Cupid.  However, I spend the majority of the time on Grindr. 

I’ve been chatting up the guys but not too many have responded.  Thursday night when I was dead tired and just wanted to go to bed I struck up a conversation with a nice guy.  Grindr had temporarily disabled location services because of the flaw.  Turns out he is more than 100 miles from me.  Anyway we talked and then I threw it out there if he wanted to meet, where I go for pie.  He said that he doesn’t move that fast.  Totally understandable. 

Last night I found a cute looking guy that I thought what the hell, why not.  Turns out he was quick to get to the point.  Where do you live and how old are you.  I don’t reveal my age because well in the gay world I am dead or a creepy old man.  Thankfully looks are on my side so I look late 20ish to 30’s.  However I am in my 40’s.  Not bad.  When I was open and honest he said dude I am looking for someone younger, good luck.  That hurt.  I said hello to someone else and instead of responding they blocked me, like I was a troll. 

This whole experience is proving just how shallow people are.  I mean age is only a number, it doesn’t really matter beyond that.  Looks also matter and if you don’t have it going on, chances are you won’t have much action on Grindr.  I know it’s a hook up app aka everyone is there for sex or to get off.  NSA – No Strings Attached is frequent.  I see guys in open relationships, couples who want to have a 3 way.  I mean that is all good and doesn’t make them bad people.  I am not there for that.  I want a boyfriend who I can get to know and decide if I want to build a life with that person.  I am Long Term Relationship oriented, which is very rare in the Gay community.  Despite the whole Gay Marriage thing being legal. 

I’ve been looking for the friend that I made contact with on Thursday but we keep missing each other.  He was very pleasant and I told him that I was dead tired before I signed off. 

The whole thing is just awkward.  You both want the same thing but no one knows what to say.  How to break the ice as it be.  So you start out with a Hi, Hello, Good Evening and then build from that.  Some people don’t want that and if you start with that it is a turn off.  People want face pictures and not torso’s to talk to.  I get it but it’s still awkward as hell.  I imagine I would be really uncomfortable in a gay bar striking up a conversation with a stranger.  However, once you get into it and find common ground it’s no so awkward the problem is finding that common ground.


I have been doing the Amazon dot com shopping thing.  I got filters for the cat’s water fountain, razors and so much more.  The problem is when the bill comes, you have to pay for it all.  I can easily overspend.  Temptation lurks around every corner and I go on line for a specific item and before you know it I am browsing for this or that and then I look at my cart and try to justify each item.  If I can’t I delete it but more often than not I say well it’s okay I’ve got a good job and I deserve it.  I’ve treated just a bit too much but I will be okay, so long as the money keeps rolling in.

Speaking of money the massage lady was back at work on Thursday.  I went to get cash out of the ATM on my way home from work Wednesday night.  I saw this old lady who was on a scooter well she got disoriented by the sun and fell off the scooter – the problem is the scooter fell with her so she was trapped.  A bunch of people rushed to her aid.  They were helping her as I drove by.  I did a U turn and circled back to see what help I could provide. I was surprised that so many people stopped.  She was on the ground then this young bitchy woman comes up and says well I am a 1st responder and we need to get her off the ground on into the scooter.  Why?  She is comfortable.  I am a first responder and that is the way it’s going to be.  Yeah okay, but I’m not touching her – if she has a broken neck and you paralyze her by moving her then that is going to be on you.  I never touched the lady 2 young studs took care of her.  She still couldn’t stand up to walk but she was riding around okay.  An ambulance came and patched her up, she didn’t want to go to the hospital.  I sure hope she was okay. 

The whole situation brought back memories from my late partner when he fell a few years ago and broke his back in 2 places.  He went to the hospital by ambulance and they couldn’t find the fractures because they did an x-ray.  A month later he went by ambulance to a different hospital and they did an MRI which showed the breaks in 2 places.  Holy cow, that was a huge problem.  The situation just made me miss him all over again.

The next day I found out that I overdrew what used to be his checking account by making the withdrawl.  I was pissed at myself.  I didn’t understand how that could happen.  Well turns out it’s my own damn fault.  I mis-entered a purchase and was off by $10 and because I didn’t balance last weekend like I should have, it didn’t get caught.  Hence the negative balance.  I got hit with a $36.00 fee as well.  I got it all fixed and the account is back in the black.  That is one of many things I pride myself on.  In fact he was hit with NSF fees so many times that he turned his account over to me and I took care of the bills.  Turns out I saved him those fees plus he wound up with a little extra money.  It was a 1 month experiment and then he took it back over and did okay for a couple weeks, then it was down hill from there.


So one of the ladies at work has a cat that stopped eating.  She waited a couple days too long to take him to the vet and he has developed Liver Failure and is jaundice.  This is similar to what Big Boy went through.  So I could easily relate.  I told her that I have ten grand in that damn cat.  She doesn’t have quite that amount of money but I can hear the love she has for her baby in her voice.  We both pretty well know it’s not going to end pretty but she is keeping faith and I am not going there.  It sounds like the cat has Liver Cancer and well if that is true it’s curtains.  They tried to say that is what Big Boy had but after we fronted the money and opened him up for the biopsy turns out there is no cancer.  Now the vet says well he has cancer but we just can’t see it.  Yeah that is because it’s not fucking there you dumb ass.  Two labs reviewed the tissue samples and they both said the same thing – he is cancer free. 

Everyone here thankfully including Mr. Big Boy is doing okay.  Momma is still chewing herself to death.  She is going to be a bald headed woman.  I call her that and it doesn’t phase her at all.  Jumper is still sleeping with me, in fact one morning I woke up and I was still holding on to him.  It was nice to see him in my arms.  He is throwing up, which means that the liquid medicine that is about a year old has lost it’s affect.  In order to get it refilled he will have to go see the vet and that is a trip he won’t like.  I have been able to bypass it for 3 years so I think I am doing pretty well.  He surprised me one night and I woke up and stepped in his surprise.  I was not happy.

Last night I left my door open so it was a free for all. Everyone wants their daddy time.  Momma started playing with her ball at 3 am and chanting as she does.  It woke me up and I said quiet.  That worked for 30 minutes and then I had to give her the boot.  She wasn’t too happy about that because her toy was still in my room.  Woops!

Since I didn’t get my beauty sleep and I am generally worn out by Friday night got up late, had breakfast with the children and then took a nap.  I got going late but the point is I got going.  Not everything is done but there is a tomorrow and I will have to seriously pull it together or there will be a problem.



I got an e-mail from Net Talk that my phone # was going to expire in 30 days.  I found the device and plugged it in, thinking that maybe they got the bugs worked out.  Nope, it still won’t talk to their server – even if I hook it up directly to the internet.  I don’t get it.  I am certainly not buying another one.  I thought that if it did work that would be the perfect # to give to a potential future Mr. RIght.  The VOIP thing is great as long as it works.  Good way to make calls (local and long distance) on the cheap.  I am thankful for my copper landline – it never goes dead or stops working.  The problem is they charge like they are the only phone company in town.  I don’t have LD at home because it’s just too expensive.  Since I went back to work I can afford to keep it despite the high price.  But that doesn’t mean that I have given up on trying to find a way to make it cheaper. 

I got my money back for the windshield repairs.  The guy who marketed the free service, well I think he lost his job because they told me that he isn’t there any longer.  That is all well and good but I still don’t have a written apology, but I suspect that it will be forth coming.  I had to drive back to Sam’s today to get it taken care of.  They gave me $20 gift card which I promptly turned around and spent.  I needed some chocolate covered blueberries and wanted to try some berry, crunch cluster covered in dark chocolate thing.  2 bags total and it was $20.  They are good but damn expensive.

Fixed pizza for supper, added some extra cheese that had a touch of Philly Cream Cheese in it and that just made the whole thing 10x better. 

So we lost Joan Rivers this week.  I kind of figured that she wouldn’t come out of it alive.  I really wasn’t a fan of hers.  There is a biography of hers on Netflix that has been staring at me for weeks on end.  Well now that she passed I had motivation to watch it.  I didn’t realize what a lady she was.  I will tell you and it’s no secret she had a big big mouth.  The plastic surgery well a little bit goes a long way.  However it’s much like getting a tattoo once you start you just keep going back for more and more and then you don’t even recognize yourself in the mirror.  It’s sad that she is gone and I know that she will be remembered as a comedy legend.  She opened doors for many people and went through a lot in her time.  The movie is very interesting give it a watch if you have NetFlix.

That’s all for now.  Back to the grindstone for another week.  This time it will be 5 full days.  People will no longer be on vacation.  Traffic will be a mess again.  Actually if it wasn’t for the traffic I would be okay with my hours.  I know I can move closer to work but that won’t happen.  I like where I am.  Just have to work on getting the payment lower.  It will all come together, I am convinced of it now more than ever.  It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be all right.  That is just the way he (God) planned it.  I’ve learned a lot about myself, life and my dear sweet man.  I know that I’ve kept my promise to make him proud and I think I have done a damn fine job, even when the chips were down.


Oh I almost forgot to tell you.  I got the very best Birthday present and it was from the United States Government.  They are investigating my former employer based off of a complaint I filed.  I’ve spoken with an Investigator and they made me aware that they were going to mention my name.  I said go right ahead, I mean they can touch me.  If they aren’t doing anything wrong then they won’t have anything to fear.  However, I know they were in violation of the law and the bomb is going to drop probably this next week.  That is when they will rue the day they crossed me.  Those men in the black coats they won’t be there quite yet but they are on their way.  My complaint has the power to shutdown the entire company, put people in prison and bankrupt them of their profits.  Will it go that far?  That kind of depends upon what they find and how far back they will go.  It will be interesting to see how it all plays out.  They are about to close on a deal to purchase more homes and in the process of getting rid of the 3 they own locally.  I hope this fucks up both deals and they have a lot to be worried about.  After all you fuck me, I fuck you and we all go fucking crazy.  Turns out them firing me is the best thing that happened to me, I didn’t see it then.  But now that I have recovered and have a new job working for a better employer who treats me way better I can reflect back and see that I did more than okay at the end of the day!  They on the other hand well I don’t think they did so good.  I also heard that they were looking for an IT person.  Funny how when you cut off your nose despite your face it bites you in the ass.

Okay that was fun to talk about but for now I am going to say talk with you peeps later.  Have a great rest of the weekend and a great week.  We will talk again soon.

31 August 2014

Last day of August 2014

The last day of the month is here.  Hard to believe that we are going into September.  This year has really taken off and time just seems to be going faster and faster. 

This weekend has been a money spending fest.  I paid all of the bills that I needed to, minus my auto insurance.  Which I will be paying later today o tomorrow.  Very happy that I have credit cards so that I can float loans and not drain myself of cash. 

I also got groceries, cat food and went to Target.  I got a Bluetooth Headset for work, since I will be on the phones starting on Tuesday.  It’s not required and is completely at my expense, so I went on the cheap.  I’ve already got a decent headset and have found that it works best with only 1 device paired.  I thought I only spent $39 for it but just looked at the receipt and the cashier forgot to charge me for it.  So I got it for free.  Nice!  All of the business that I give Target, I think I have earned a break.  They are Cat Litter Headquarters' for me.  I do kind of feel like going back and saying um, she forgot to charge me for this and that is the honest & right thing to do, but I am not going to do it. 

I picked up ink for my printer, that was $65 which I wish that was free and I would pay for the headset.  I got the ink at Office Depot and it should last me for a very long time.  I went XL because I use the most of the black ink. 

Friday, my local office surprised us and let us go 2 hours early.  I still had to check with my boss but was told leave and it’s paid leave.  Nice!  I had been working on trying to organize the Inventory Room and have made some progress.  There is still lots more to do and it’s going to take time, time that I am not sure when I will have. 

I treated myself to a hair cut & shampoo on Friday.  Then swung by Sam’s to get gas for the car.  A man approached me and asked if I wanted my windshield washed for free.  I said sure.  Then he told me that I had several chips in the windshield.  I just got the damn thing put in less than a year ago.  Interstate driving really wears hard on the windshield.  Anyway, he said they would fix it for free.  So I let them, but it wasn’t free.  It cost me $40 because I happen to have 1 of the 2 insurance companies that won’t work with them.  I explained that I was told it would be free but they said sorry you have to pay.  Fine, I wasn’t exactly pleased as punch but I paid.  Then I went through a car wash, I asked prior to going if it would be okay.  Because there was greasy handprints all over the window and well the car needed a wash.  There went $17.  What I thought were hand prints turns out to be the resin that they used.  My windshield looks horrible but only on the inside.  Outside, you can’t tell a thing.  I’m not too happy, but what is done is done.

I spent a good portion of my day yesterday researching the company that did the repair.  Turns out I am not the first person to complain about them.  They have an F rating with the BBB.  Really a company that Sam’s Club Partnered with is not above board.  Oh that and there little disclaimer that they don’t condone the use of the word free by any rep of their company.  Sent me into a rampage.  I went on a letter writing campaign.  I want a written apology and my money back.  I went off on Sam’s Club and told them I would never again use a 3rd part provider that they contract with because they obviously didn’t do their research ahead of time.  The whole thing is totally unacceptable.

Most people don’t know that chips are typically covered by your insurance company provided that you have Comprehensive coverage.  The insurance company looks at the repair as preventative maintenance in that if the chip is fixed in time it won’t turn into a crack and they will be able to save money in the long run.  Most people also think that this will cause your insurance to go up if you file a claim.  Not under Comprehensive typically things that fall under that coverage are not surchargable so your rates won’t be affected.  Yes in the long run the insurance company’s rates will increase and eventually you will feel it but it’s lumped in with the cost of doing business. 

I am unfortunately stuck with this unless I want to foot the bill for a windshield replacement, the company that did the repair work says they will refund your money if your not happy but that is the extent of it.  I feel like a damn fool in that I was suckered in and fell for it.  I should have been more cautious but I was feeling really good and laid back, it was a Friday before a long weekend and my Birthday so I threw caution to the wind and look what it got me!  Lesson learned don’t do it again.

I’ve been out to eat … Huddle House this morning for breakfeast.  I really wanted to see the cute waiter that I like but he was no where to be found.  Food was still good.  Yesterday I went to Bob Evans.  Their chili is back on the menu and I had to have a bowl.  Very good just needed more crackers and a little cheese.  Tomorrow I’m headed to Chili’s.  My brother called and him and my mom want to take me out for my birthday.  I like that idea, it’s better than eating either of their cooking!

I’ve been rather lazy about getting things done around here.  Just started laundry and I need to get cracking on cleaning this place up.  Plus the children really want food.

Long story short I am broke again.  Very little money left but thankfully I was able to pay all of the bills, including the mortgage.  Now I have to work on finding a mortgage place that will offer me a lower monthly payment and get this place into my name.

I did some checking on my late partners Bankruptcy.  I am a little more than $2,000.00 short of getting to the magic number, where I will qualify for the attorney to submit a hardship discharge.  That doesn’t mean I will get it but given the circumstances I think the odds are pretty good.  Unfortunately it will be around April before I reach that point, that is provided I keep paying as agreed and don’t make any lump sum payments.  The better news is that at the end of the year my car will be paid for, so there is more money that I can tuck away, I just hope that I can discipline myself to save it and not spend it.

I have been eyeing laptops because I see myself getting one.  It would be nice to be able to surf at work without being traced or fear of someone watching you.  Not that I have the time but it could be another way to spend my lunch time.

The other day I was on Facebook and they were dishing out ads about you might like and I went through them.  I came across Mark E. Miller.  He is a gay guy that makes you tube videos with his partner Ethan.  They are both in their 20’s and damn good looking.  I started watching and have been hooked ever since.  I will be putting up a link on my site to their channels.  The one problem I have is I see them kiss or be intimate with each other.  I mean you can feel the love just by watching.  That makes me miss my late partner even more.  I wasn’t a big kisser but he was.  I’d really like to kiss him now. 

My new shoes have really helped my feet.  So much that I can wear other shoes for a day and walk without a problem.  It’s been a couple days and I feel a little pain but nothing like it was.  I guess my foot was just sitting funny or cramped in the other shoes, which overtime lead to the pain.  I am very grateful to have found a solution, I only hope that it keeps on working and doesn’t fail me.  Then it will have been worth every penny I spent.

I sense myself just rambling on here.  So I am going to run.  Time to get into cleaning mode, fun stuff.  Hope your weekend is going good and that you enjoy the extra day off.  Tuesday will feel like Monday and no one will know what day of the week it is until Friday finally gets here.  Talk with you peeps later.