19 August 2014

Still going

Monday came way too soon.  I really wasn’t too hip to that and still felt the effects of last week.  By the end of the day I was back to my old self.  Today went okay, busy learning how things work and solving problems. 

I feel at home here but still am nervous when I interact with attorneys.  I just remember the firm where I came from a few years back and things were a whole lot different. 

I am still tired, my foot hurts but the pain appears to be diminishing.  Can’t wait to try the new shoes.  I got inserts for them on the way from Amazon, they will be here tomorrow.  Along with flea medicine, face cleanser and a sound machine to make white noise.  My therapist has one of those machines and it just relaxes me and if I let myself I could easily fall asleep.

The children are doing okay.  They seem to have adjusted to my schedule.  With the exception of last night.  Jumper woke me up in the middle of the night and wanted out.  I let him out and went to the bathroom.  He was too busy loading up on food so he wouldn’t come back.  I knew that when he did come back he would be upset that the door was closed.  So I got up out of bed and had to shoo him into my room.  Then we snuggled and he wanted to carry on a conversation.  I was ready to sleep.  He woke up his brother who chimed in by clawing on the box springs.  I said guys lets go back to sleep and woke up a couple hours later, time to go to work.  Oh Joy!

Wore my new clothes yesterday and today, looking good and feeling pretty good.  I changed my profile photo on all of the dating sites/services that I am on, in the hopes it would help lure someone into my clutches.  I guess my late partner was right I am so ugly I scare away the mice, we really don’t need cats!  Ah, maybe someone will eventually bite.  I have tried but am getting more selective and really would rather be pursued than pursue someone.  I also hate when you start up a conversation and go back and forth.  The other guy answers with 1 word answers.  Wow put some thought in to your response. 

Okay well it’s time to take care of the children and see what I can find on TV, plus I get to prepare my lunch.  At least tomorrow is Wednesday.  Strange but come next Wednesday the 27th it will mark 1 month since I have been in this job.  That is really scary to me because it feels like it was just yesterday.  Time really does fly. 

Hope all is well in your world.  Thanks for stopping by.  Talk with you peeps later.

17 August 2014

TGIF…Back to Work

I was never so happy to see a Friday like I was this Friday.  Two of the best things happened.  1st it was payday and I found out how much a regular check would be.  I can totally make the house payment and my other bills.  There will even be some left overs.  So long term I should be able to start putting money away. 2nd well it was the weekend at quitting time. 

I have been really worn out this week.  My back, my feet, my entire body is ready for a day of nothing but rest but that didn’t happen. 

My mom is out of the hospital as of Friday night.  I saw her yesterday and we went out to the Olive Garden.  She wanted to buy me McDonald’s but when I said Olive Garden and you don’t need to pay, her face just lit up.  She was totally game.  Unfortunately, she spent a lot of time talking about my late partner which didn’t do much good for me.  I really miss him, especially now that my life seems to be getting on track.  I’d like nothing more than to share the moment with him and tell him about all of the good things.

Saturday I made it to the shoe store my friends suggested.  I put an order in for a pair of shoes but honestly don’t think this will cure my problem.  I also got some different Dr. Scholl’s inserts.  So if this doesn’t fix the problem then I’m not throwing more money at it.  It will be time to see a foot doctor and quit playing games.  It’s kind of obvious to me now that I am just throwing money at a problem but since I don’t know the root cause there is no way to fix it.  That’s not saying a foot doctor would be able to figure it out but I think that I have a much better shot with a professional involved

I managed to take a nap and get cat food.  I also went to Red Lobster on my own to have dinner and a Pina Colada.  It was a very good meal.

Sunday… I managed to shop for new pants, shirts and socks.  Didn’t get much and spent $140.  Then I had to visit the grocery store and well that was like another $90.  I also treated myself to breakfast at Steak N Shake. 

I am busy doing laundry.  Going to have frozen White Castles for supper, that should be a thriller tomorrow.  The children are chomping at the bit.  Got my latest copy of Out Magazine to review.

I have jumped on more on-line dating apps/sites.  I went to Gay dot Com and back to Ok Cupid and I am still on Grindr.  It’s really tough to get guys to talk to you, even if you put yourself out there and chase them.  I’d just like to meet up with 1 guy and see where things went.  If nothing else maybe I could make a friend.  Companionship with someone is what I miss the most.  I’m not looking to get married off the bat and I don’t want just a hook up.  It seems that most guys are looking for sex rather than friends or relationships.  Kind of sad when you think about it.  Just like with my job search I wondered if I would ever get one, well I kind of feel that way about the man search.

I did manage to clean up my e-mail box at work and clean off my desk.  I am slightly organized but not near to the degree that I want to be.  Like anything else it will take time.  It should be another busy week and hopefully I learn something along the way.  That is what makes the job interesting and fun.  I got to play Ring Around the Rosy on Friday with a colleague who just wanted to keep me chasing my tail before he did what was asked.  That is the kind of thing that I do not enjoy and part of the reason why I would normally shy away from a Help Desk job.  Thankfully I get more of a focus on providing local support but there is that Help Desk aspect in my job. 

Overall still very happy actually even more so now that I got my first paycheck.  I am hoping that life becomes stable again and adding a man/friend in would be nice.  However, living by myself does have it’s perks and there is absolutely no one to answer to.  I get to do what I want when I want to do it.  That is provided I don’t talk myself out of it.

Onward to getting chores done so that I can rest at some point, before retiring for the night.  I hope all is going well in your life.  Take care and I will talk with you peeps later.

14 August 2014

1 Busy Guy

Sorry it’s been a bit since I posted.  This new job is really taking over my life.  I come home after fighting traffic, feed the children, gobble up my dinner and in a very short while it’s time for bed.  This leaves me not a lot of free time.  The days are flying by and I am really busy.

My training is over with now it’s pretty much trial by fire.  I am not live on the phones just working e-mails and dealing with walkups, which is enough to keep one busy.  The days of standing on my feet for most of the day are dying down all though I do a fair amount of walking and am starting to get the lay of the land.

My cube is a complete mess, the last guy was a slob.  The inventory room where all of the spare equipment is kept, well that is a complete mess as well.  I need to just take a Saturday and throw it in the trash, spend the day at work sorting things out.  It would be on my own time and I know they won’t like that but I have to be able to find what is there and account for every bit of it.  I’m NOT doing it this Saturday but will probably be doing it soon.

Grindr is still going strong.  I struck up a conversation with a guy and we talked about Olive Garden.  I guess I was too forward and ask him if he wanted to meet up, that I think scared him off.  I have messaged a few guys but thus far no replies.  I downloaded the 99 cent app thinking that by paying for the app and more options it would be a win.  Turns out you have 10 days free then you have to sign up for a subscription in order to keep the ad free version with the extra features.  I really don’t like paying for dating apps since they haven’t even gotten me so much as 1 date thus far.  I wish that I could have some luck and meet someone so I could stop looking.  My bigger fear is that things will work out for a while and then the relationship will hit splitsville.  Which is very common in the Gay community.  My heart isn’t up for that right now.  Still it feels good to be bold and who knows maybe I might just get a date after all.

Last night my brother sent me a text message to let me know that Mom is back in the hospital.  She is in ICU with critically low sodium levels.  She had a doctors appointment yesterday and while she was there she collapsed and started talking nonsense.  They thought it was a stroke but an MRI ruled that out.  Then they discovered the Sodium level thing and that is about as much as I know.  At the moment she is anticipated to make a full recovery but it will take a few days to get her level back to normal.  Too little sodium and you can have Neurological complications. 

That news about Mom came just after I was reading my late partners medical records.  I was having flash backs of remembering doctors visits and the whole ordeal of him dying.  Anyway, as I suspected he was just confused and forgot to take his medicine.  He wasn’t diagnosed with anything that he was keeping a secret and did not commit suicide.  His physician did note 1 month prior to his death that he was exercising poor judgment and that his memory seemed to be impaired.  However,  no one bothered to call it to my attention.  Which if that would have happened we might have had a different outcome.  Bottom line is like the first attorney I saw said… you can rest comfortably knowing that it wasn’t a medical mistake and it was simply his time.  Point being is there is no one to blame.  I did my fair share of searching because I honestly really wanted to blame someone and make them pay.  I could maybe have a case against his physician but I’m not going to bother with it.  It would stir up too much of a shit storm and in the end cost me time and probably money that I could use on other things. 

It is also time again for Jury Duty.  This time I will get to go.  My present employer will pay me my regular wages and I can keep the $10 a day that I get along with the 27cents per mile that I will be reimbursed.  So there is a little bit of extra money.  I don’t get to go until October.  At least it will be something to look forward to and get me out of traffic for a few days.  I forwarded the summons on to my boss and am waiting to hear back.  However, I researched it last night and found out what the policy is.  This place is very big on having everything electronic and not printing, so you have to use the computer to find out anything within the company.

Now it’s time to try to relax.  I need to do some self pleasuring and prepare for tomorrow.  It’s pretty bad when you don’t even have time to self pleasure.  I promised that to myself tonight, besides that I really need it. 

Saturdays goal is to try to get some different shoes and some pants to wear to the office.  Plus resting up, I am sure I will have no issues in sleeping in even if it’s only until 8am.  It will feel so good!

Talk with you peeps later.

10 August 2014



So I made it home.  I ran into accidents, rain and that resulted in delays.  Plus my bladder kicked in and I eventually stopped to use the restroom and eat at Cracker Barrel.

On my way out of town I made a call and scheduled a massage for Saturday.  I figured I owe myself a little treat and my back would enjoy it. 

It was every bit of 8pm when I pulled in the driveway.  The children were chomping at this bit this time to see me.  Which was nice. 

I fed them and started to unpack and I was all over the house like a chicken running around with it’s head cut off.  I was a crazy person.  Finally I got everything taken care of and then stopped to watch some TV.

Before I knew it I was more than ready for bed.  I set my alarm and laid down in bed.  I was surrounded by cats, so not too comfy in a twin bed.  However, I enjoyed having them around.


Sound asleep and 2am Jumper starts crying loudly like something is majorly wrong.  He was upset that his mother was cuddling with me.  That’s his job.  He wouldn’t shut up until I got out of bed.  Not exactly the wake up call I wanted.  However, I got him in bed and we snuggled up.  He was so very happy.  His motor was on overdrive and he just cherished that time we had together.  I fell back asleep.

8:30 am was here in a flash and I got out of bed.  Fed the children.  Got dressed and headed out.  I went out for breakfast then got my haircut, I mean it’s super short and I think it looks really good.  Just wish my hair were a tad darker so you could see more of the ravishing red.  After my haircut it was massage time.  I was so ready. 

So I am on the table and the massage has started.  At which time the therapist tells me this is a 90 minute massage and it costs x dollars.  If you want deep tissue that is $10 more.  I won’t charge you extra for cupping.  I said OK.  That translated to her that I consented and I wanted deep tissue, which I did not.  However, I’ve had deep tissue massages before and what she gave me was a regular massage.  I figured she was pissed off because last time I didn’t tip her.  Frankly she wasn’t that good, more like average.  She also didn’t listen to me.  I said upper back only and she rubbed everything else and then finally spent a little time on my upper back.  I said avoid the lower back and she pounded on it. 

As you can imagine I was relaxed but not happy about the charges, which I didn’t find out about until the massage was done.  A little too late to dispute anything but I did try, despite having to franticly use the restroom.  I lost and rather than belabor the point I just left because to me a bathroom was a sure sign of relief. 

I came home, used the restroom and then stripped (ooh la la) and jumped into the shower.  If you look about 6 months ago when I had my last massage whatever this person used I was allergic to and broke out in a rash on my arms.  I vowed that would never happen again.  The shower was nice but I missed the extra water pressure you get when your in a hotel.  I then put on some boxers and laid down in bed, where before I knew it I PTFO.  It was the most relaxing sleep I have had in a very long time.  I woke up with what I am sure was low blood sugar, I was hot and needed to get moving.  It was 2:30pm and the day was getting away from me. 

I got dressed and headed to Steak & Shake where I saw 2 cute guys sitting at a table close to me and they were just having a good time.  They were either Seniors in High School or Freshmen in College – either way you look at it they were twinks.  Yum!  After I had my meal I ventured to the cat food store and then hit up the post office.  Then back home to unpack the food. 

As you can well imagine with the herd of animals I have the carpet was in need of some therapy.  After all it had been more than 2 weeks before it saw any sign of love.  Thankfully the whole time I was gone no diarrhea to clean up.  I vacuumed and then brought out the carpet cleaner.  The place looks much better, if I do say so myself. 

I started in on bills, putting things away and trying to restore order around here.  I also started on laundry which as you know is one of my least favorite things. 

All in all it was a productive and relaxing day.


I was up early again.  Stopped at Steak N Shake for Breakfast and then moved on to the grocery store.  Holy jumping beans they managed to remodel and rearrange the entire grocery store in the 2 weeks that I was gone.  The store has been rearranged 2 times in less than 3 months.  Of course I couldn’t find a damn thing.  Things I needed I had no idea where to look and once I move past it, there is no turning around unless it’s absolutely necessary.  When I got home I realized what I didn’t get.  Not happy but not horribly upset. 

Continued with laundry and of course this being the day after I cleaned the carpet Big Boy had Diarrhea.  So major mess to clean up.  Plus I had to clean him up.  He enjoys that way too much. 

Waited around for my cat sitter friend to call.  I wanted to return his laptop and we agreed to catch a bite to eat.  Finally he called and we got together.  That took up a few hours.  I had a very large salad and well didn’t think I would want supper but I did manage to eat a little bit. 

Stopped at the pharmacy to pick up my medicine and one of the hot pharmacy guys checked me out.  I mean he rang up my order, I checked him out!

Back home again for the day.  Did dishes, finished up laundry.  Scooped the litter boxes.  Spent time with the children.  Then suddenly I saw time flashing by it’s a rush to beat the clock. 

I still need to soak my feet.  They are killing me!  I bought some ice spray.  I figured it would go on super cold but it’s only mild cold and it does help block pain but you feel strange tingling instead of pain.  I really wish my foot pain would disappear. 

I also need to shave, take my meds and try to brush Big Boy and then medicate the 3 that are on meds.  Then it will be relaxation time and hopefully I sleep rather well tonight.  I am looking forward to tomorrow but also a little apprehensive.

I found myself upgrading from Grindr to Grindr Xtra the app was $1.  Then I learned that you have to have a subscription.  They give you 10 days and then expect you to pick a plan.  I don’t want to pay for looking and hitting on guys.  Something inside of me just took the bull by the horns before you know it I had a screen name, photo and complete profile.  I have already hit on 2 guys.  After I hit send on the 2nd one I was like what the hell am I doing?  I feel good about it but not exactly sure what it will lead to.  It would be nice to get a date and/or make a friend.  I don’t need to “hook up”.  A huge turn off for me is the status Right Now.  Meaning that they want to have sex.  That just spells slut to me and while that can be hot, it’s not a quality that I am looking for.  Who knows what they picked up and/or are carrying.  Dating & having sex is a scary world.  If anything happens or comes of my the contact I have made so far I will most certainly post about it. 

I was talking to myself on the way home from the lunch meet up and said well you got a good job now you need a good man and then hopefully life will fall into place and I can finally once again be happy. 

I did some research on my bankruptcy and it’s been 2 years since it was discharged.  That means I can apply for a loan in my name.  I got a mailer from a finance person it was addressed to my late partner.  However, I sent the guy and e-mail and outlined the situation.  I’m not sure if he can help me but asking for help doesn’t exactly have negative side effects.  The worst he can say is sorry I can’t help you.  However, I really don’t think that will be the case.  I’ve managed to stay current on all of my bills, including the mortgage despite 2 months of unemployment.  I survived!  Plus my credit has been reestablished and my score is now in the 700’s which is the GOOD category.  So hopefully that will all work to my advantage.  It is kind of premature to jump into a mortgage but I feel really good about my job, despite the fact I am going on my 3rd week.  If I can get a lower payment and avoid closing costs then I should be able to put money aside for a rainy day and/or get some things that I really want. 

That’s all I know for now.  The guy that I am working with said to plan on going out to lunch for the 3 days while he is in town.  I’m not terribly excited about it but it would be nice to know what’s around.  I mean this is a new part of town that I am working in.  It’s a part that I avoid because of traffic and parking as well as the fact everyone there thinks they are above you. 

So off to soak my feet and shave.  Maybe I should shave my feet and soak my face.  I honestly don’t think it would make a huge difference either way.  Have a good night and I will talk with you peeps again soon.

Thanks again for your readership and for sticking by my side.  Now if I could just get a few positive commenters I think all will be right with the universe!

07 August 2014

Last night in town

Headed for home tomorrow afternoon.  I will be glad to get home and get settled.  However, the usual weekend routine will be in full swing and it’s all about beating the clock for Monday. 

I have seen and done a lot in the time that I have been here.  I still don’t feel quite ready but I do feel comfortable and that this is still the right fit.  I have a couple meetings tomorrow and I will want to chat with my boss before I leave about a couple of things, like what are my hours.  I am looking forward to getting away from the corporate hub and into my own little world.  Coming here is nice and I wouldn’t mind a once a year trip but I think that I am traveled out for the moment. 

One of the guys that is in charge of inventory decided that it would be good for me to inventory my office.  So there will be one night when I will have to stay late next week and crank that out, thankfully I will have help so it shouldn’t be too terrible.  Plus it sounds fairly automated.  I’m not thrilled about it but it will at least help me start with a clean slate and if the other guy happened to take something or misplace it, that won’t be on my shoulders.  Although everyone here appears totally above board and honest.  That is a good quality to have.  In my office we have a lunch bandit so my food will be at my desk but that is as about as big as theft gets. 

I talked with my friend from last week, he texted me this morning.  He was really short but I reply and was long winded.  I told him about the pending FB friend request not sure if he will accept but at least he knows it’s out there. 

I’ve been having really crazy dreams everything from stuff about hanging out with my late partner, to having sex with random guys or even a couple that I have a crush on to horror stories.  I can’t say that I have slept solid as in all the way through the night w/o waking up.  Last night was as about as rested as I have been.  Staying away from technology and laying in bed with my iPhone worked wonders for me.  Even managed to get a photo of a hot guy off Grindr.

Treated myself to a nice meal tonight – Pepperoni Pizza and Apple Bread Pudding.  Wash it all down with a Diet Coke and it balances out.  Lunch was a place that a co-worker went to.  I had this monster hamburger and onion rings.  Then to top it all off one of the directors bought 2 pies for all of us to share.  I was so bloated I didn’t even attempt to consume any pie.  It looked good but I didn’t want to be even more miserable than I was. 

Well, I am off to bop the bologna, pack, shower and get ready to watch 2 hours of TV – Rookie Blue and NY Med.  Then it will be time for bed.

Checkout in the morning will be a little rough and I will actually have to drive to the office but it’s okay, I will manage.  Then mid-afternoon heading for home and hoping that I get there in one piece w/o any problems.  I would be open to seeing a nice wang like I got to last week.  I do know that I will cut my drinking down if not off shortly after lunch to allow my body time to catch up and purge before I leave the office.  Hopefully, I will be able to drive straight through non-stop.  Pick up the mail and go home.  I’m sure the little critters have missed me.  I am going to love seeing them again but dread seeing what kind of mess they have left for me to clean up. 

Have a good evening and I will talk with you peeps again soon.  Most probably sometime over the weekend.

06 August 2014

Hump Day

Lots of walking today.  I was really run down this morning.  Didn't recover until lunch.  Still learning lots.  Looking forward to getting on with it but want to make sure I know all about this place.  Got a tip about politics today and the fact my boss has a spy working along side me.  Something very good to know.

Reached out to my brother made him think I was moving.  Then I told him I am just away for training.  So I got him off my back.  He claimed to be seriously worried.  I don't think he was sincere.

Sent a text to the cute guy from last week.  Just checking in and thus far no response.  Disappointed by that.

Still watching Grindr lots of cute guys but I question if they are for real.  Thinking of jumping in head first but not until I am home.

It poured here I got a ride to the hotel from a coworker.  So thankful for that!  I swore off the computer tonight so I'm blogging from the bed while TV is on.  I fixed the picture and managed to adjust the time on the clock.  

Waiting for Suits to come on then getting ready for bed.  Tomorrow will be knocking soon enough.  Nighty night!

05 August 2014

Food–Stomach & Daily Grind

Breakfast on the buffet was really good.  Going to do that again for the rest of the week.  Lunch had a left over ham & egg burrito from work.  They ordered food and had left overs.  It wasn’t really enough to suit me but I made do.  I’m really pushing my body by doing that.  Supper was a restaurant here in the hotel.  The server looked yummy I could have eaten him.  Instead I had fish and cheesecake.  It was a very upscale place and the portion size was extra small, but the prices were extra high.  The entire meal was like $30, so not worth it.  Afterwards my stomach kicked in and I barley made it to the bathroom.

I returned to my room and broke into the $6 bottle of water that will be charged to the room.  Company’s paying might as well make use of it.  It’s water from Norway but tastes like water.  They make it sound like it’s an amazing experience.  Not really.  I drink ice water all day long.  Since I had stomach problems I figured that I want to avoid getting dehydrated, I will probably be up all night going to the bathroom.  A small price to pay. 

I talked with our wellness person today and learned that we have a gym in the building where I will be working.  It’s a cost to us but no one knows how much.  I also found out that we have a massage person that comes to the office.  Holy crap, this is the place for me.  I will just put my phone on do not disturb and head for the massage table.  I am thinking of scheduling one on Saturday when I am back home. 

I learned about Video Conferencing today, there is a lot to that.  I will learn more about it next week when I am actually setting up rooms for meetings.  Fun stuff.  I logged my first ticket today about a trackball issue.  I’ve listened to calls and had one guy try to make me go live.  I told him I’d rather he take the call.  I mean might as well enjoy my training status while it lasts.  It’s going to be short lived.  Next Wednesday afternoon I will be live and by myself.

The meeting I looked forward to with the Networking guy got moved to later this week.  He’s on the road.  Actually he is training the cute guy that I was in training with last week.  I’ve got plenty of other stuff to learn about and of course there is those calls.

My brother texted me a short time ago.  He admonished me for not returning his call and wanted to know if I was okay.  I really don’t want to answer him and haven’t so far.  The Catholic Guilt is kicking in and I do feel compelled to respond or reach out to him.  I am just pissed at him and he has no clue.  I kind of want to know how many hoops he will jump through to reach me.  Ignoring him probably isn’t a good thing but his caring is just perfunctory and he doesn’t really mean that he cares, he is going through the motions.  Now of course if he wants me to do something then he really cares.  Ah, go call the Geek Squad and pay I’m done.  He won’t even climb up on the roof of my house to help me out.  That doesn’t require money, just time and well gas to get to my place.  Screw him – I am done.  We might be brothers but you’d never be able to tell by his actions.

On to a different subject, so I am sitting listening to calls and one of my coworkers exclaims oh you have some red in your hair.  I said yeah it’s Red all over.  They said oh in this lighting you look blond.  They called me a strawberry blond.  That I am not!  My hair color is red, might be light red but there is no blond.  Then we got into an age related conversation and when I told them how old I was they didn’t believe me.  Everyone said that I look like I am in my 20’s.  Wow if they could have seen me then they would have thought I was a mere child.  I really wish I had the knowledge of today and was in my 20’s.  God I could do so much with my life.  I know I still have a bright future, but when you get older your not as motivated. 

I did manage to find USA in my hotel room in channel surfing, so I will be watching Suits tomorrow night.  Then on Thursday we have Rookie Blue and NY Med.  I will be watching Rookie Blue as I pack and prepare for home.  Speaking of which I haven’t gone to my car since I parked it.  I should probably go check on it to make sure no one has tried to break in.  My radar detector is in there.  It’s not in plain sight but if you happen to look at the visor on the passengers side you will see it.  No one has bothered it yet and I hope it stays that way.  It’s a small project to get it wired in so that everything blends and you can’t tell.  I hate doing it but love the results.  That little unit has saved me many, many times.  I’d buy another one in a heartbeat.  What do I use?  It’s a Valentine One.  I also have the concealed display, so unless your in the car while it’s on, you shouldn’t even be aware that it exists. 

Well I see 8PM approaching.  Need to use the facilities, get the temperature regulated and then jump in the shower and afterwards prepare for bed and finally relaxing time in bed.  I still can’t pry myself away from Grindr.  Haven’t made contact with anyone, just looking.  I’m pretty certain 1 of the managers from work is on, but I’m not going to find out for sure.  I did walk into our Accounting Department today and a male intern really gave me the eye.  Kind of made me feel good and at the same time I wanted to hit on him, but didn’t. 

Okay peeps, take care and I will talk with you later.