17 April 2014

Some Good News

I logged on to my credit card companies website and they offered me an increase in my credit line.  That was unexpected and nice.  Now I can get further into debt.  No worries I will be very careful.  Nice to know that if some calamity happens I will have a way to pay for it.

In surfing today I see where it’s time to advertise that my state has a bunch of unclaimed property.  I always search but nothing ever hits.  Well today is my lucky day I am owed 2 refunds from Symantec.  Not exactly sure how much they are but I have the necessary paperwork to claim them.  It will take like 12 weeks before they get around to sending me my money.

Being bored, I ran everyone’s name that I knew that lived in the same state.  I found a couple friends some money they are owed as well.  One of them was a friend of the family.  He probably had no clue that I was gay but I wrote him an e-mail and told him that my partner died.  I figure he can put 2 and 2 together.  While some hetero’s refer to their mate as a partner it’s much more common in the gay community.  I told him all about losing my job, my mom having a stroke and how life generally sucks for me right now.  Then I told him about the money I found for him.  Haven’t heard from him and not sure that I will.  The gay might scare him away, but it’s okay by me.  If you don’t want to talk to me because I am gay well then, it’s your loss.

I’ve seen the job I interviewed for last night posted on a couple more sites.  It’s probably more of an automatic kind of thing.  I’ve been going back and forth in my mind as to weather or not they will call me to extend an offer.  Part of me says no because of what I don’t know.  Part of me says yes, because they wouldn’t have to pay as much as if I already had the knowledge.  It’s truly a guess on my part and I will just have to wait and see how it plays out.  The suspense will kill me but I am really praying.  It’s a unique opportunity and would be a great move, or so I think.  Plus I would be working in my state so no more filing 2 state tax returns after this year.  That would be a blessing in disguise.  Because I get killed every year on taxes.

I found some writings from my partner and started to read them.  It was like he was standing next to me.  I started to tear up and felt like I wanted to cry.  People here wouldn’t understand if I were to burst out into tears.  So I just held it in and wiped away the tears.  The writings I saw reminded me once again that he loved me and that he couldn’t make it without me and he truly appreciated me going the extra mile for him.  Then he talked about not checking out anytime soon.  That kind of got to me because well he’s been checked out for over a year.  I wish he would come back.  Since that can’t happen I only hope that when the time is right I find someone who is as loving and appreciative as he was. 

If I were to put in a whole days work we have an hour a 15 minutes.  I am not putting in a whole days work.  I am leaving early.  I’ve got 2 days worth of mail to pickup and sort through.  Not to mention feeding the children and having some me time.  Last night things were so rushed and I was so short on time.  The kids got their meals and I managed to pacify them, even though a couple of them count on time with me.  That didn’t and couldn’t happen.  I was wiped out!

That’s all I know at the moment, besides the fact that I didn’t have a single number in the lottery and that passing the day by surfing the web all day long to give the appearance that you are working, makes for a very long day.  Plus it’s not something that I want to come back to.  I have maybe an hours worth of work to do and after that I am done, with totally nothing to do.  So I just keep putting it off. 

The best things about if I get this job is I will be surrounded by primarily men and there won’t be any food day’s or pot lucks.  That will be such a welcome change for me.  Were having a food day tomorrow even though most of the office took off because it’s Good Friday. 

Talk with you peeps later.

Good Interview

As you can no doubt tell from the title the interview went really good.  I was grilled a lot and I knew most things but not everything.  I even asked if not knowing the answers to everything was a deal breaker and I was told no.  Benefits t-totally suck.  No retirement/savings plan of any kind.  No direct deposit (it’s a technology company, come on) and 1 week of vacation.  They offer health insurance but I don’t need that.  I tried to negotiate an extra week of vacation but that didn’t work.

Since I don’t know everything, the amount of money that I asked for and the amount of money they are willing to give me will vary.  I wasn’t given specifics but told that they just couldn’t pay me what I was asking for.  However, we can negotiate so that is not bad. 

They do supply a company vehicle so that is a plus.  I can drive it to and from work if I get the job.  So no racking up miles on my car, which is an added plus. 

While it’s not my dream job and certainly will lack in pay and benefits it beats being unemployed.  I feel there is a huge opportunity to broaden my skills and learn a bunch of different things, which in the end will make me more valuable. 

I pray they extend an offer to me and that the money won’t be that big of a deal.  Only time will tell.  I am pretty excited.  I did manage to negotiate in a MIFI device or an Air Card, and explained that it would be helpful if I was on the road and had to pull over to help someone.

Hours for this job are not set.  You start in the morning and finish up at 5, 6 or 7:30 at night.  There is no on-call and no weekend work.  Oh vacation you can’t turn off your cell phone but there is a slim chance you could get bothered.  At least when I take a day off it’s mine for the exception of maybe talking with a co-worker once and a while.  Just have to make sure that I keep my cell phone number private, which won’t be an easy task. 

I think this job has me written all over it.  I just hope they see that and we can give it a go.  Pay is every week on Friday and they give you a check.  I haven’t been paid every week for a very long time!  That will take some getting used to plus I will have to make changes to where I bank.

Well I have a little bit of work to do here at the “farm” and then it will be back on the job hunt.  I am hitting this extra hard to hopefully minimize if not kill any potential for down time. 

No matter when I get an offer from someone, as long as it’s affordable for me I plan on taking a week off and going off the grid just because I need it.  I have no idea what it will feel like not being pestered and having to check e-mail or thinking the worst when my phone goes off. 

I will keep you posted.   I will talk with you peeps later.

16 April 2014

Long & Boring

The title describes my work day to a T.  I’ve been here for a few hours and already I am ready to go home.  I’ve surfed for a job.  I’ve surfed for entertainment.  I am just so damn bored.  I have a little bit of work to do but considering it won’t make a huge impact I am putting it off for a while to give me something to do another day.  Coming to work when you know that your job is ending is well a less than pleasurable experience.  It was way different when I only had thoughts that it was ending compared to actually knowing that it is ending.  Hardly anyone was here yesterday.  Friday will be a ghost town but they are having a food day, go figure on that. 

I have plans to leave early today because I have my interview.  I will be leaving early on Friday because well there won’t be anyone here.  I will have to stick around until at least 4 but after that it’s fair game.  My boss will be off-line and ready to start his weekend.

I went to bed on a high note, woke up on a high note and then I got here and all of my notes went flat.  I am still excited for tonight and interested to see how things go.  It may be my ticket to freedom, it may just be practice. 

Jumper is the only one sleeping with me at night.  Big Boy seems to like it in the living room with all of the other critters.  Partly because his bed has not been brought back upstairs.  I figured a break from it might help teach him that it’s not a litter box but a bed.  Jumper is a noisy guy.  Once he sees a sparkle of daylight he thinks it is time to get up.  If I move in bed, he thinks I am awake and starts nagging me to get up.  he had me all clawed up this morning.  Guess who is getting a nail trim?  He won’t be too happy about it. 

Speaking of nail trims, I wasn’t able to get Shy Girl over the weekend so this week or weekend she is fair game.  I am hoping that the opportunity will strike for me to get to her without a bunch of drama just like last time.  she tolerates it better and me chasing after her only makes her madder and more scared. 

Basement is drying out, slowly.  Sure helped to suck up all of the water.  Still smells like a basement and that never used to be the case.  I will deal with that later.  Right now is all about recovery and trying to find work before my present job ends. 

Lawn Boy called me last night.  He said his name at the start of the call and it just caught me off guard.  I thought he was my long lost friend who decided to stop talking with me and then he started talking about cutting grass and presto, the brain kicked in.  He will be by today to start the season and every 2 weeks there after.  I hope for sure that I don’t have to tell him to stop until the end of the season but if I lose my job I will have to cut costs and that will mean mowing my own grass or maybe just maybe I could con my brother into doing it.  I seriously doubt it.

Well I am ready for a nap but they don’t allow those here.  I should start smoking, it would give me something to do.  Those people take 2 hours a day in breaks.  Plus lunch.  I can’t wait until they all wake up and find themselves in a real job where that shit won’t fly.  Not to mention 1/2 of the other stuff they pull here.  You have to actually work in the real world if you want to get paid.  You can’t meander your way through a job, if you do they will can you faster than you can say cream corn. 

Speaking of canning, I got a text yesterday that told me 3 of the long time managers at my old job were all fired yesterday.  That was quite a shock, but I guess it’s a new company and they want their people doing the work and not some perceived outsider doing the job.  That is the thing with mergers and acquisitions, there is always a staff change, turnover and new things as well as people to adjust to. 

Doing the job search thing really sucks.  I would rather be booking interviews and get this experience behind me.  Of course as soon as I accept an offer that is when one or two more will come out of the wood work.  Once I make a commitment I usually stick with it, however I am in this for money so if company a offers $5 and company B comes along for $10 and were talking about the same work, then I will chose company B an d tell company A that they need to find someone else.  It is a no brainer.

I watched Ride Along last night.  I needed a good laugh and that movie provided it a couple of times.  You need to see the movie plus that gag reel.  I got it from Amazon in HD for $5.99 for 48 hours of rental.  Not the best deal but it beats the $20 they wanted to purchase it.  Why would I buy it when I don’t even know if I will like it?  That doesn’t make sense to me.  I would enjoy a real life ride along but wouldn’t act crazy like the guy did in the movie.  Way too much risk and while it was only a movie if that was real life then things could have gone horrible wrong.  More than likely one of them would have wound up fatally wounded.  Real life is scary and there is no do overs or take backs.  If we had those abilities then life would certainly be much more interesting for all of us. 

I am going to see what other kind of trouble I can get into.  I will talk with you peeps later.  2 more days until the weekend!

15 April 2014

Water, Water, Everywhere….

The water heater had to be replaced.  It was leaking and it created a mess in the basement and also in my bank account.  I stayed home today and called 1st thing for someone to come look and quote me on a replacement.  They were supposed to show up at 1pm but didn’t show until 2pm.  It was 4pm when they were done.  A simple job but it seemed like it took forever.  $1,700.00 later and I have hot water. 

I have cleaned the water from the carpet with the carpet cleaner.  Emptied two buckets worth and hopefully things will dry out.  It smells all musty and horrible.  I sprayed some Febreeze on it and hope that will take care of it. 

Got a call last night and it was for a possible job.  This one is working for an IT Outsourcing company and being a traveling technician.  The only thing I don’t know is if they supply a vehicle.  I won’t be using mine for business work – even if they reimburse mileage.  If you use your vehicle in business you should tell your insurance company so you are properly protected.  The problem with doing that is your rates go way up.  Not to mention the mileage, the repairs, etc. and I’ve got enough going on.  I mean if they throw money at me I may not have a choice but I am inclined to decline if they say I have to use my own vehicle.  I would really have to think about it before I just up and say no.  Anyway, interviewing with them tomorrow after work.  I scoped it out today and turns out it’s right next door to the Bankruptcy Attorneys office.  How convenient!

I am wore out from today.  Not to mention I had to take a “vacation day” but I was bothered off and on with work bs.  I can’t wait to get away from those needy bastards.  Vacation day means I don’t work, but you still pay me.  I only have a couple days left and plan on using them but doing so sparingly.  I’ve got a bit to play with them and knowing they are there is a good feeling.

My life seems to be spinning out of control… first my partner, then the house and legal crap, now my job, the water heater, cats, I need a new roof and need to apply for a loan in August.  I’m telling you it really seems easier to take a bunch of pills and pray that I don’t wake up or do something else to ensure that I won’t wake up.  It’s the chickens way out but I honestly don’t know how much more I can take.  They say that God won’t give you more than you can handle but I really feel like there is a huge burden on me.  I am ready for the times and the money to get better.  That way I can afford the new roof and all of the other expenses that go with being a homo homeowner! 

Saw a job tonight that I applied for an interviewed for more than 2 years ago back when I was out of work.  It’s something that I really wanted.  I actually passed by their office when I interviewed on my vacation and was wondering about the company.  Apparently they are still going strong.  Maybe they will hire me.  Who knows.  It’s purely a guess right now. 

I’ve got to prep for my interview, clean up the house, feed the children (again), shave and prep for work.  By then I should just drop and not need to take sleeping pills.  It’s been a whirlwind day and having all of this BS hanging over my head really isn’t doing me much good. 

Talk with you peeps later.

14 April 2014


My water heater exploded.  I didn’t figure it out until late yesterday afternoon.  The hardest part was getting the darn thing re-lite.  I saved the cleanup of the water for tonight.  That won’t be a fun job but I can only do so much at one time.

Made it to work, looking for a job.  Finding jobs for others in the office but nothing for me.  I did find a couple of cold contacts and I will be sending them each something in the mail.  My printer at home is out of paper so I have to wait until I get home to fill it.  Then I can finish printing and get those envelopes ready to go out tomorrow. 

When you have nothing to do it makes for a very long day.  I could easily go home now and it’s only 1pm.  I made the mistake of wearing a long sleeve shirt and my arm itches.  It’s cold out but still short sleeves are right for this time of year.  Can’t wait to get home and take it off. 

Speaking of taking it off, how about the Zac Efron going shirtless at the MTV Movie awards.  I saw that on FB and snapped that photo of him.  He looks delicious!

Saw the premier of Nurse Jackie, it was just okay.  Had my Cherries Garcia and it was good.  I think they need more cherries and less chocolate.  Momma tried to get some but I wouldn’t let her. 

A good nap and then some time to get my evening chores done sounds about right.  I plan on leaving early today.  One person already left for the day because it’s her birthday.  She is a lazy ass bitch and if she can get someone else to do her work she does.  Like mother, like daughter. 

I guess I am becoming too jaded about this place.  I just can’t wait to get out.  I want to be the first one out and then I don’t care about the rest that are left behind.  It’s like a contest.  If I am not the first one out, then at least let me get out before they close the doors on us.  That will be reward enough. 

Normally I forward my home phone to my cell so that I don’t miss any calls.  I decided not to forward it in the hopes that it will cause someone to call me for an interview.  Thus far no luck. 

Ah well, trying to hang in there and find something to occupy my time that I have left here.  There is some work for me to do but I really don’t feel like doing it and thinking it will provide something for me to do tomorrow or whenever I decided to. 

Happy Monday!  Talk with you peeps again soon.

13 April 2014

Eaten by a lion



If you think that because you do nice things, the world will treat you better, you are fooling yourself. 

I hate spending my weekend looking for a job.  So here’s goes my run down of my Sunday….

Went to bed late.  Woke up in the middle of the night, changed beds.  Woke up later than normal….10am.  Holy cow.  Had my left over pizza for breakfast and oh yeah fed the children.  Then got dressed and hit up the pet food store, grocery store, gas station, stopped at a mailbox and then came home. 

Unloaded all of the stuff in my trunk.  I spent entirely too much money.  Tried Mr. Pibb Zero and it’s not bad.  Had hot dogs for lunch.  Continued laundry.  Went after Shy Girl, she has disappeared in the house and I can’t find her anywhere.  She will come out when I start banging the food can.  If not then I have a serious problem.

I wound up taking a nap, which was against my plans.  Only because it will be harder to get to sleep tonight.  Ramping up for the premier of Nurse Jackie.  I hope it’s good.  I got some Cherries Garcia Ice Cream to celebrate this!

Searched for a job both answering ads and looking to apply cold at different companies in the area.  Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow knowing that it’s another day closer to the end. 

Excited about supper tonight – fried chicken and mashed potatoes. 

That is as exciting as it gets from here.  Not too much else to say.  I hope one of my lottery tickets hits the jackpot this week then my worries will be over.  Now wouldn’t that be a happy ending to all of the shit that has gone down over the past 2 years. 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, what’s left of it.  Talk with you peeps later.

12 April 2014


Woke up around 9.  Got the children fed.  Got dressed and went out the door.  Had my car emissions inspected.  Then got breakfast.  I was craving French Toast so I got 2 orders, 2 sausage patties and 3 scrambled eggs.  Washed it all down with a Diet Coke. 

Swung by the post office and picked up the mail.  Got a check for $35 from a rebate offer.  My AAA Membership renewal came, that was a surprise, I didn’t expect.  Came home, watched some TV.  Crashed with Jumper and his sister in my bed.  Stayed there until a little after 2pm. 

Got up, fed the children again.  Ate some M&M’s and watched a little TV.  Then started cleaning like a mad fool.  Decided that I would make a day of it tomorrow with the grocery store and cat food – all in one day. 

Started laundry, put out my pills.  Looked for a job for a long time on the internet.  Found a goodie and it took me over an hour to apply because their website sucked.  Found a couple of others.  I noticed that I am seeing ads that would benefit co-workers so I am helping them as well.  It’s not going to get my anywhere but it can’t hurt anything.  I am NOT helping everyone, only select people.

Made sure bills were paid.  Watched some porn.  There you have it.  My day in a nut shell.

Now I am headed upstairs to make, a frozen pizza and find something interesting to watch on TV.  Then I will call it a night.  I have to medicate the children.

Last night I watched a movie, I think it was called A Necessary Death.  It’s a documentary.  A film maker put an ad on craigslist that he wanted someone who was going to commit suicide and he would film the process from start to end.  Why I felt compelled to watch this, I have no idea.  Once I started it just sucked me in.  So he interviews several people and finds one person who is going to do it.  Because he has a non curable brain tumor and doesn’t want to endure any of the pain as the tumor spreads.  It’s not a good way to go.  The film has a lot of twists and turns.  In the end the guy goes through with it but there is a surprise ending.  You don’t see the actual death, but you do see the body after the guy is dead.  It was horrific and I had to find something to cheer me up. 

That might explain why I spent so much time sleeping. I don’t want to feel the pain that the world offers me with knowing that my partner is gone and knowing that if I don’t get lucky my job too will be gone.  The future doesn’t look bright but then again it’s not totally dark yet either. 

Spring is a bloom here and that means that Lawn Boy will be wanting to start his mowing soon.  I just hope that I can afford to pay him, otherwise I will have to buy a mower and cut grass on my own.  With my allergies that won’t be a good thing.  I will do what I have to in order to survive.  Cutting grass isn’t the worst thing in the world. 

Well that’s all I know.  Off to eat pizza and see what I can find on the TV to entertain me for the rest of the night.  Cheers.